how to flirt with men by alexandra fox
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How To Flirt With Men
Unforgettable Woman Publishing
©2012 All Rights Reserved
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Copyright © 2012 Unforgettable Woman Publishing. All rights reserved.Published by Unforgettable Woman Publishing LLC, Henderson, Nevada, USA.
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Supporting E-books
After you've learned the Unforgettable Woman way of flirting with men, you'll be ready to take your new dating skills to the next level with these supporting e-book collections by Alexandra Fox:
Crucial Stages In LoveEvery relationship goes through 4 distinct, crucial stages, and you'll need certain skills to properly grow the relationship from one stage to the next. Learn how to grow your relationship from casual dating to married life in this powerful new e-book collection! Click here
How To Play Hard-To-GetSick of always chasing men? Get the upper hand in your relationship by learning how to play hard-to-get -- and make THEM chase YOU! Everything you need to know about the chasing game is in this powerful e-book collection. Click here
77 Secrets Of SeductionThe "sequel" to 77 Secrets Of Love, this e-book collection goes deeper into the more specific, more intimate secrets about making a man love you. Learn how to get past his mind, and win his heart! Click here
Unmask The Male MindThis e-book collection is all about male psychology: Why men act, think, and feel the way they do, and how to react in a way that grows his love for you and strengthens your relationship. Click here
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Table of Contents
Chapter 1: Why Flirt In The First Place? 1Secret 1: Flirting Is A Misunderstood Art 3Secret 2: Guess Who Invented Flirting? 6Secret 3: They Don’t Teach Flirting In School 9Secret 4: There Are Right And Wrong Ways To Flirt 12
Chapter 2: Common Misconceptions About Flirting 15Secret 5: Is Flirting “Slutty” And “Trashy?” 17Secret 6: Is Flirting A Sign Of Desperation? 19Secret 7: Does Flirting Turn Men Off? 22
Chapter 3: The Unforgettable Woman Idea Of Flirting 25Secret 8: Flirting Is Subtle, Not Outrageous 25Secret 9: Flirting Is Natural 28Secret 10: Flirting Can Be Done Anywhere 31Secret 11: Flirting Is Honest, Not Manipulative 34Secret 12: Flirting Brings Out The Best In Him 37
Chapter 4: Flirting-- Communication In Heels, But Communication Nonetheless
40
Secret 13: It's In Your Aura 40Secret 14: It's In Your Body Language 44Secret 15: It's In The Words You Use 47
Chapter 5: Are You Too Shy To Flirt? 50Secret 16: So What Are You So Afraid Of? 50Secret 17: Rehearse It In Your Mind 53Secret 18: Practice With Your Guy Friends 56Secret 19: Go With What Works, Not What They Do On TV 59
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Chapter 6: The 7 Most Common Flirting Mistakes That Scare Men Away
62
Secret 20: Mistake #1 - Being Too Forward 62Secret 21: Mistake #2 - Being Too Slutty 66Secret 22: Mistake #3 - Taking The Lead 69Secret 23: Mistake #4 - Asking Instead Of Inviting 72Secret 24: Mistake #5 - Moving Too Quickly 75Secret 25: Mistake #6 - Thinking It's A Competition 78Secret 26: Mistake #7 - Not Considering His Feelings 81
Chapter 7: How To Flirt Without Being Seen As A Slut 84Secret 27 - It's Important How People See You! 84Secret 28 - Don't Cross Any Lines Of Decency 87Secret 29 - Don't Focus On Romance! 90Secret 30 - How To Know If You're Doing It Right 93
Chapter 8: The Sexiest Types Of Flirtation 96Secret 31 - Physical Vs Traditional 96Secret 32 - Polite Vs Playful 99Secret 33 - Honest Vs Sneaky 102
Chapter 9: Flirting Over Texts And E-mail 105Secret 34 - The Don'ts Of Text And E-mail Flirting 105Secret 35 - The Right Way To Use Text And E-mail 109Secret 36 - Flirting In 140 Characters Or Less 112
Chapter 10: Flirting For Fun 115Secret 37 - Flirting For Fun Is The Best 115Secret 38 - Put Your Guy Friends To Good Use 118Secret 39 - Don't Worry About The Results 121
Chapter 11: Flirting In Ordinary Places 124Secret 40 - Opportunities To Flirt Are Everywhere 124
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Secret 41 - Great Conversation Starters 127Secret 42 - Practice, Practice, Practice 130Secret 43 - Stay Safe 133
Chapter 12: How To Flirt With Someone You Just Met 136Secret 44 - Scenarios To Watch Out For 136Secret 45 - Remember: Nothing Romantic Yet! 139Secret 46 - How Far Should The First Flirt Go? 142Secret 47 - What If He Flirts Back? 145
Chapter 13: How To Flirt With An Old Friend 147Secret 48 - Why Old Friends Can Be Tricky 147Secret 49 - Create Some New "Space" For Him To Move Into 149Secret 50 - Your Goal-- Make Him See You Differently 151
Chapter 14: The Man's View Of Flirting 153Secret 51 - No Two Men Are Alike 153Secret 52 - Do Men Think Flirty Women Are "Easy?" 156Secret 53 - What Men Think About Sex 159Secret 54 - What It Means When You Turn Him Off 161
Chapter 15: How To Judge His Reaction To Your Flirting 163Secret 55 - Signs He's Not Liking What You're Doing 163Secret 56 - Signs He's Into You, Too 166Secret 57 - Signs He Just Doesn't Care 168Secret 58 - What To Do When Things Don't Go Your Way 170
Chapter 16: Signs You're Flirting Right 173Secret 59 - Sign #1 - Chemistry 173Secret 60 - Sign #2 - Respect 176Secret 61 - Sign #3 - The Future 178Secret 62 - Take It Nice And Slow! 180
Chapter 17: How To Tell If He's Flirting With You 182
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Secret 63 - Is He Friendlier Than Usual? 182Secret 64 - Other Signs He's Flirting With You 185Secret 65 - How To Deal With Shy Guys 187
Chapter 18: How To Flirt With Your Boyfriend/Husband 189Secret 66 - Why Flirt With Your Better Half? 189Secret 67 - Pet Names And Silly Games 192Secret 68 - Deferring To His Authority 194Secret 69 - Bedroom Games 196Secret 70 - Little Nothings That Make Him Feel The Love 199Secret 71 - Look To The Future, But Remember The Past 201
Chapter 19: Why Men Flirt With Other Women, But Not Their Wife/Girlfriend 203
Secret 72 - Why Some Men Have The Gall To Cheat 203Secret 73 - How To Prevent Chronic Flirting In The First Place 208
Chapter 20: Marriage - Flirting To Keep The Love Alive 210Secret 74 - Why Some Couples Fall Out Of Love 210Secret 75 - How To Rekindle The Old Flame 213Secret 76 - Keeping The Fire Burning Throughout The Years 216Secret 77 - Don't Forget To Enjoy Yourself 219
A Final Word From The Author 222
Bonus Report #1:How To Boost Your Dating Confidence In A Month
224
Bonus Report #2:Flirty Ways To Keep A Conversation Going 239
Bonus Report #3:How To Get A Guy's Number In 5 Minutes Or Less 253
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Chapter 1:
Why Flirt In The First Place?
As with any new endeavor in life there are things you need to learn in
order to achieve your goals. Whether it be going to college to learn the
appropriate knowledge for the career path you desire or picking up a
fabulous copy of an e-book to teach you how to flirt. Knowledge is the key
in doing all things, and doing them right.
Do you have difficulty flirting? You
may even find yourself wondering why
you should even bother flirting in the first
place. There are many reasons to flirt;
most importantly it is fun and effective.
It may be a little difficult to get
started, but you CAN do it. You are a
desirable woman. You may just need the
proper tools to get you on the right track to flirting and flirting right.
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Make Men Want YOU
Why let guys keep looking past you when there is another, more
flirtatious woman around? Flirting has a great side effect. It makes men want
you!
Why shouldn’t they want you? You are an incredible woman with a lot
to offer. When it comes to attracting men, what’s on the inside isn’t always
enough. They need something that grabs their attention to make them look
beneath the surface to discover the real you. Flirting can be just what you
need to make them want to take that deeper look.
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1 Flirting Is A Misunderstood Art
Don’t you just hate flirty women? They go overboard and flirt
outrageously whenever guys are around. What’s worse is that they make the
rest of us look bad.
The part that is really aggravating is that they still get the best men!
The rest of us get left with the men who are too shy, too quiet, too loud, too
smelly, too weird, and basically just too much of something.
We all deserve BETTER!
Since You Can’t Beat Them, Join Them
You can’t get the flirty women to stop flirting. You will never manage
to convince them to make things fair for everyone. Since you can’t beat
them, join them. Then you can be one of the flirty women who get the great
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men.
Why should you settle for Mr. Boring when you could find Mr.
Incredible? The flirty woman at work found her own Mr. Incredible and she
is impossible to please (let’s face it she isn’t exactly model beautiful either).
But she found a great man. Meanwhile the rest of us women keep finding all
of the wrong men. Because we haven’t learned the beautiful art of flirting.
Flirting, when done the right way, can be a beautiful art form. You get
to take your sensuality and use it to your advantage. You are a sensual
woman with a lot to offer men. You aren’t trashy or slutty. But you CAN be
flirty.
Flirting takes a lot of courage and a little bit of skill. Don’t worry if
you don’t have either, because you can learn to gain both. You can boost
your confidence and learning new skills is simple enough with the right
guidance.
If the thought of flirting makes you squirm, you are not alone. It’s not
easy to have the self-confidence needed to make you a great flirt. I’m going
to let you in on a little secret. That woman at the bar who is hopelessly
flirting with all the men…she more than likely lacks self-confidence.
Sometimes the key is to fake it until you make it. With time you will
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build the self-confidence in your own sensuality. You are an attractive,
desirable woman. Now you just have to learn to see yourself that way.
Summary – Secret # 1:
Flirting can help you find a great man. With a lot of courage and a little bit
of skill you can attract better men. Make them WANT you! Find your own
sensuality and put it to work for you.
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2 Guess Who Invented Flirting?
Does flirting feel unnatural to you? Despite what you may currently
believe, flirting is one of the most natural elements of life. It is how Mother
Nature designed us to operate.
Have you ever noticed how the people with the most personality are
the ones who are always flirting? It’s no surprise that the women with the
most personality (and best flirting skills) get the best men. The best part is,
even if you are the shy, quiet type it doesn’t have to stop you. All you have
to do is open up a little and let them see the real you.
If flirting still doesn’t feel natural to you, that’s OK. You will get
there. It takes a lot of practice to get it just right. You won’t wake up one day
and decide today is the day that I become great at flirting. Yes, you can make
the decision to do it that quickly, but it takes more time and effort to perfect
the art.
But don’t worry, it’s not that hard. It’s more about trial and error and
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finding what works best for you. Whatever you do, don’t copy every flirting
trick you see on TV.
Do What Feels Natural To You
When you first start with your new flirtatious attitude, do what feels
right. Don’t say things that make you feel uncomfortable. If you do, it will
show. Just think of how awkward it would be if you can’t keep your
composure while flirting.
I enjoy people-watching. Whenever I go out I tend to indulge.
Especially when it comes to men and women interacting, I can’t help
myself. One night I was sitting at a restaurant. My table was near the bar so I
had a pretty good view of some poor woman’s awkward moment.
I’m not entirely sure of
what it was she said as I
couldn’t hear them. However,
she leaned in and whispered
something and when she pulled
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back I could see the look of horror in her eyes. Sure, she tried to hide it
behind a laugh and a smile, but it was evident for anyone to see.
Needless to say the conversation didn’t last for long. And the woman
left shortly after. She couldn’t seem to muster the courage to continue with
the flirting.
Summary – Secret # 2:
Flirting is natural. Even if it seems like a completely foreign concept to you
now, you can learn to become a great flirt. Keep it natural and don’t push
yourself beyond your comfort limits.
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3 They Don’t Teach Flirting In School
Wouldn’t it be great if you could simply sign up for flirting classes?
Or better yet, if it were a required course in high school? Then we wouldn’t
go through our lives dating guys who are too weird, shy or loud. Hey maybe
those same classes would stop some men from becoming the guy who you
end up having the awkward date with.
Unfortunately it will probably never be that easy. We are all left to
figure it out on our own. Or get lucky enough (if you are reading this then
you fall into this category) to find someone to help us learn how to flirt. Get
excited about it. Enthusiasm is important to learning how to flirt effectively.
Where Can You Learn To Flirt?
I have great news for you, just because you can’t sign up for that
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flirting 101 class doesn’t mean it’s a hopeless cause. You’ve already taken a
great step in the right direction by purchasing this e-book. Together we will
get you moving down the path to learn those great flirting skills.
Many women learn how to flirt from the people around them. We
grow up seeing flirting all around us. Whether or not you stopped and paid
attention to that flirting is probably what determines whether or not you
know how.
Most of us were too busy with life to have made that a priority when
we were younger. Or you may simply not have been all that worried about
growing up and getting married and settling down.
This leads us to the biggest problem…most women don’t know the
first thing about flirting! As a result you go into the game of dating and end
up on miserable dates that tend to lead to miserable relationships with (you
guessed it) miserable men!
Luckily enough, it’s never too late to learn. But the fact remains, there
are right and wrong ways to go about flirting.
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Summary – Secret # 3:
Even though you have probably made it through many years of dating
without having a clue how to flirt, you can still learn. When you learn
doesn’t matter, the important part is that you DO learn how to flirt. Stop
finding yourself with miserable men and start flirting to find the better men.
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4 There Are Right And Wrong Ways To Flirt
You may be asking yourself if you too can become a great flirt. The
answer is YES! But first you need to know that there are the right ways to
flirt, and then there are wrong ways.
Throughout this e-book I will be teaching you the right and wrong
ways to flirt. By the time you reach the end, you will be armed with the
flirting techniques that will attract the strongest men who are most ready for
commitment in the dating game. At the same time you will be able to weed
out the weaker, emotionally unavailable men. Are you ready?
The Wrong Ways To Flirt
There are many wrong ways to flirt. The one that you want to completely avoid is
sending signals that you are easy. When you become overly touchy-feely or make sexual
comments, you may think you are flirting when in actuality you are sending signals that
you are looking for a good time.
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These flirting techniques will get you attention. But unless the
attention you are looking for ends in a one night stand you must avoid
sending out the I’m easy signal.
When you are looking for a lasting relationship you never want to
come off as being easy. Otherwise you will attract the wrong kind of men.
You want to be much more subtle in your flirting techniques. A casual flip of
your hair or touching a man’s arm will send out an I’m interested signal,
rather than the I’m easy signal.
Not only is subtly going to attract
the right kind of man, it’s also much
sexier to men. Well, at least to the right
kind of men.
Summary – Secret # 4:
Flirting is the key to attracting men. There are right and wrong ways to flirt
which we will cover throughout this e-book. Be sure to pay attention so you
can avoid attracting the wrong kind of men.
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Chapter 2:
Common Misconceptions About Flirting
Have you ever heard people putting down women who flirt? Some
people have pretty close minded views of things that they don’t fully
understand. Or they may even have bad experiences with someone in the
past who flirted in the wrong ways. Regardless of their reasons, you
shouldn’t let that discourage you. People tend to develop opinions of things
even when they don’t have a firm understanding of what it is they are
judging.
Even blondes get a bad name simply because of the color of their hair.
I’m sure you have heard the stereotypes, we all have. Nonetheless, it doesn’t
make them true. There are many misconceptions of flirting.
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Don’t Be Discouraged By Stereotypes
People tend to develop opinions of things even when they don’t have a
firm understanding of what it is they are judging.
What are some stereotypes you’ve heard? There are so many out there
that the list is probably pretty long. Just like all the other stereotypes you
shouldn’t listen to all of the hype.
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5 Is Flirting “Slutty” And “Trashy?”
Have you ever heard that flirting is slutty or trashy? If so you are not
alone. Flirting, like most things in life, tends to get a bad reputation from
those who do it the wrong way.
It isn’t so much about what you do as how you do it. There are people
who use flirting to be “slutty.” Through the course of this e-book you will
notice that my advice is to strictly avoid the maneuvers that could be
construed as slutty or trashy.
My point is, if you want to attract men who will respect and value
you, you have to flirt the RIGHT way.
Don’t Learn Flirting From TV
TV portrays flirting as slutty or trashy. This is the wrong way to flirt.
So if you have picked up a few ideas of how to flirt from one of your
favorite dramas, ignore it. Believe it or not, there are great ways to flirt that
are fun, safe, and clean. We’ll get to more of that in Chapter 3.
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TV plays a big role in the misconceptions about flirting. But if you
think about it, those slutty characters are what get them the ratings they
need. It’s only one of many aspects that are shown in the worst light. It’s all
about the ratings, not the realities.
So whatever you do, avoid getting your flirting knowledge from TV or
even movies. If you are looking to attract real men who are ready for real
commitment you won’t find your answers there.
I have studied relationships for several years. I’ve always been
intrigued by the relationships between men and women. Throughout
studying these relationships I have figured out what works, and what
doesn’t. Hollywood flirting definitely falls into the “doesn’t” category.
Summary – Secret # 5:
Flirting can be fun, clean, and safe. It can also be slutty and trashy. It’s all in
how you flirt that makes the difference. Follow my advice and you will
learn how to flirt in a fun and clean way that will make you desirable to the
kind of men who are ready for commitment, not a good time.
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6 Is Flirting A Sign Of Desperation?
Have you ever heard that flirting is a sign of desperation? Have you
ever thought the same thing yourself? It’s easy to see with the desperate girl
who flirts and sleeps around on so many TV shows. Do you remember Kelly
from 90210? Her character was portrayed as the slutty girl who was
desperate for attention and love.
When Hollywood portrays flirting in such a light, it’s no surprise that
so many people find it as a sign of desperation. But it’s not. Flirting is more
a tool to show interest. When you meet a good looking man, you want him
to notice you. You want him to know that you notice him.
Sure you could be really blunt and just come right out and say it. But
that would be a turnoff for majority of men. You can just as easily show your
interest with a few simple flirting techniques you’ll learn later on. Flirting is
a great way to catch their attention and show them that you noticed them.
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Knowing How To Get What You Want
To me, flirting is more about knowing how to get what you want. You
use flirting to let a man know that you’re interested in him. Then you also
use flirting to keep the man you want. It keeps their attention by letting you
know that you still want them even after you have them.
Why should you settle for Mr. Boring when you could find Mr.
Incredible? The flirty woman at work found her own Mr. Incredible and she
is impossible to please (let’s face it she isn’t exactly model beautiful either).
But she found a great man.
Meanwhile the rest of us
women keep finding all of the
wrong men. Because we
haven’t learned the beautiful
art of flirting.
Flirting, when done the right way, can be a beautiful art form. You get
to take your sensuality and use it to your advantage. You are a sensual
woman with a lot to offer men. You aren’t trashy or slutty. But you CAN be
flirty.
www.unforgettablewoman.net 28
Flirting takes a lot of courage and a little bit of skill. Don’t worry if
you don’t have either, because you can learn to gain both. You can boost
your confidence and learning new skills is simple enough with the right
guidance.
If the thought of flirting makes you squirm, you are not alone. It’s not
easy to have the self-confidence needed to make you a great flirt. I’m going
to let you in on a little secret. That woman at the bar who is hopelessly
flirting with all the men…she more than likely lacks self-confidence.
Sometimes the key is to fake it until you make it. With time you will
build the self-confidence in your own sensuality. You are an attractive,
desirable woman. Now you just have to learn to see yourself that way.
Summary – Secret # 6:
Flirting can help you find a great man. With a lot of courage and a little bit
of skill you can attract better men. Make them WANT you! Find your own
sensuality and put it to work for you.
www.unforgettablewoman.net 29
7 Does Flirting Turn Men Off?
There was a guy named Gary who was attracted to Shaunna. She was
not only gorgeous, but kind, funny and smart. She seemed to have "the
whole package."
But the more Gary tried to get closer to Shaunna, the more he started
becoming irritated by her bubbly, flirtatious attitude. More importantly, the
way that she charmed other men-- not just Gary.
Since Gary didn't have the most interesting personality, nor was he
really "good looking," and he certainly wasn't loaded (financially), he felt a
bit insecure about just how attracted Shaunna would be to him.
So he took a very passive approach to pursuing her, naming himself a
"friend," while he tried to figure out ways to court her. But each time he
started a conversation with Shaunna, she would go on about the amazing
men she was meeting, and how much fun they had on dates.
This made Gary even more insecure and defeated, so he eventually
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stopped trying to get Shaunna's attention. He figured the negative feelings he
got from her flirtatious personality was getting the worst of him.
Flirting Turns Off Weaker Men
In the scenario above, you'll notice
something: Gary is not an "alpha male," or
better put, a "confident man." Confident men
are attracted to other confident women. They
aren't "intimidated" by their feminine power,
since they have masculine allure (what we
call "alpha" qualities).
For a man whose character is weak, and lacks self-confidence, a
woman who shows her strength at attracting men is incredibly intimidating!
How can he possibly get a confident woman's attention without her seeing
right through him?
Shaunna was still having good times flirting with other men who
could appreciate her strong personality. They met her challenge because they
were equally as confident.
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Flirting is a great way to show men that you aren't ashamed to be
yourself. For the right men, this will be a very attractive quality.
On the other hand, for a guy who isn't so sure of himself, and perhaps
is "ashamed" of his lack of character, will be put off by a woman who is the
opposite of how he feels.
So are you worried about losing the insecure type of men? I don't
think so! If you're like most women, you want the type of guy who's
comfortable in his own skin, right? In fact, a guy with charisma is even
better-- am I on the right track?
Don't be afraid to be yourself, and unleash the diva inside, got that?
Summary – Secret # 7:
Men that are insecure don't like women who flirt, but you won't miss
having them attracted to you! Confident men won't be intimidated by a
confident woman who flirts, so live it up, ladies!
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Chapter 3:
The Unforgettable Woman Idea Of Flirting
8 Flirting Is Subtle, Not Outrageous
"I'm constantly changing, I'm constantly growing. I think I'm a little
controversial... I just try and keep some mystery, so hopefully people can't
really put their finger on it." - Evan Rachel Wood
Mystery. Men LOVE it! Ask any dating and relationship expert tips on
how to keep a man attracted, and most of them will say, "keep a man
intrigued."
Flirting is best done when it's subtle, leaving a man wondering if you
were actually flirting, or just being friendly. What does that do? It keeps him
thinking of you, trying to figure out if he is attractive to you, or are you just
being nice by nature?
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Looks and money have little to do with it. When you have the special
something that catches a man's attention, it just happens magically on its
own.
How can I be subtle about flirting?
To learn more about the subtle and powerful art of
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