imun day 3: parade of naons and closing ceremony · proposed, was for germany and ireland to...

Day2:9June2011

LayoutbyTohZiKen

IMUNDay3:ParadeofNa1onsandClosingCeremonyThedelicatesoundsofapianoplayingthemelodioustuneof“JusttheWayYouAre”greetedthedelegatesastheyenteredthehall.ThescinFllaFnglightsflashedinvariouscolorsaroundthehall,dazzlingthemwithitssheerintensity.ItwastheParadeofNaFons,wheredelegatescametogethertoshowcasetheirunderstandingofthecountriestheyhadrepresented.

Delegatesmodeledcostumesofvariouscountries,struOngdownthestage.Thedelegateswerejudgedbasedon4criteria‐creaFvity,originality,poiseandrelevance.Thereweretwocategoriesfortheparade‐theTradiFonalCategoryandtheFusionCategory.ThewinnersoftheTradiFonalRoundwereKaFeKwangfromCHIJTPandLeongYuanJiafromSMSS.ThewinnersoftheModernFusionRoundwereTanMinfromNHHSandSatyaPraffulfromACS(Independent)

.Allgoodthingsmustcometoanend.TheclosingceremonywaspervadedwithmixedfeelingsthatofreliefandmelancholyforthefinalendtothisFringbutenrichingexperience.CerFficatesweregiventothebestdelegatesofthevariouscouncils,andeveryonecheeredenthusiasFcallyincommendaFonoftheeffortthatthesespeakershadputintowardsthisIMUNC.TheclosingspeechbytheSecretary‐General,ColinWu,summarizestheclosingceremonybest:‘IMUNCbeganwithabang,anditendsnowwithyetanotherbang.’IMUNCwasaFmeforfriendshipstobeformed,romancetoblossomandmemoriestobecreated.Wewouldliketothankallofthedelegatesfortheirinsighculnessandtheirresponsiveness,whilehopingthateveryonereceivedagreaterunderstandingofhumanity.

Interna1onalCourtofJus1ce

TheICJhasdiscussedingreatdetailonthetopicofthebombardmentoftheislandofYeonpyeong–withtheapplicantoftheRepublicofKoreaandthedefendanttheDemocraFcPeople’sRepublicofKorea‐andvigorousdebateensued.

TheadvocatesofbothsidesdeliveredlengthypresentaFonsofevidences,whichwereobservedwithmuchinterestbytheJusFcesoftheCourt,especiallytheDPRK’sevidencefiles.

EyewitnesseswerepresentedinCourt,includingaSouthKoreanresidentonYeonpyeong,aNorthKoreansoldierallegedlyacFngagainstorders,andaNorthKoreanspywhichseemed…quiteunsureofwhathe’dbeendoing–confusingleaveswithfeathersforone,butprobablywithonly2½years’experience,whatcouldoneexpect?

SFll,giventheJusFces’relentlesspursuitofthetruth,anyjudgmenttheypasswouldsurelybewell‐thoughtoutandbalanced.

ArabLeague

ThelastdayofArabLeaguesessionstartedoffwithadrajresoluFononthecrisisissuecrajedbycombiningthedrajresoluFonsofthedelegatesofEgypt,IraqandLibyaoverthepreviousnightbyourkind‐heartedChairandDeputyPermanentSecretary,whichreceivedthesupportoftherestofthecouncilandwaspassedswijly.

Thecounciltookamoreseriousapproachincomparisontoyesterday’slightheartedatmosphere,probablybecausethedelegateswereeagertopasstheresoluFons.AjerseveralamendmentstotheresoluFonontheprimaryissue,theresoluFonwaspassedtoo.

Onalighternote,muchnotepassingwasseengoingonbetweenthedelegateofSaudiArabiaandKuwait,withoursecuriFesaccidentally(wewonder..)passingthemtothewrongdelegatescreaFngmuchchaosatsomepointsofthedebate.

QuoteoftheDay(QOTD):“giveacamelaninchandit’lltakeamileinyourtent”‐delegateofUAE

ParisPeaceConference

Paris,1919–DebateopenedtodayonthetopicoftheformaFonofaninternaFonalsecurityorganizaFon.Thereweremanyideasastowhattonameit,chiefamongthemwasthe“JusFceLeague”asproposedbyYugoslavia.TheissueofdefiningtheroleofthisorganizaFoncameintodebatelater.Amongthoseproposed,wasforGermanyandIrelandto“takechargeofthesheepthatmighthavesufferedthroughoutthecourseofthewar.CatholicsheepshallobtainmoreconcernthanothersandJewishsheepshallbeexterminated.”Notonlyweresheepaconcern,billygoatswerealsobroughtup,havingpridedthemonbeingextremelyusefulinchargingintobedroomsandprevenFnginappropriatebehavior.InaddiFontobeingsympatheFc,certainworldleaderswerealsovain.CzechoslovakiainparFcularthoughthehada“gorgeousass”ascitedinanotehehadpassedtoCanada.Andwhatdoworldleadersdoforfun?Theyinventnewgamessuchas‘Idon’tspy’ascreaFvelyinventedbythedelegateoftheUSAandIreland.Thiswasextremelysurprisingconsideringthelowlevelofself‐esteemexperiencedbytheUSAwhichwasevidentwhenhesentanotetothechairasking“doyouhateme?”Onalastnote,GermanythoughttheSecretary‐general,Collin,lookedparFcularlyappealinginpink.Thisthusconcludesthelastdayofdebate.

DISEC

Alldelegatesagreedastotheurgencyofthesecondissue,theillicittraffickingofweapons.ThecouncilwassplitbyseveralissuessuchastheneedforbodyscannersattravelcheckpointsandtheeffecFvenessoflegalizingandregulaFngthetradeofsmallarmsversusablanketban.Thecouncilwasmomentarilyinterruptedbyaholdupbythemafiaboss,whothreatenedtoexecutedelegatesifaresoluFontolimittheillicittraffickingwaspassed.Healsoremindeddelegatesastotheimportanceoftheweaponstradeinbringingincometoitsworkers.However,thedelegatesignoredthewarningandconFnuedonfearlessly.Thecouncilwaseventuallysplitintotwoblocs,eachofwhichhadwrinenandwantedtosubmitajointresoluFontoformamorecomprehensivesoluFon.

JointCrisisCommiBee:WestBerlinCabinetOnthe28thofJune,duetothenewcrisisoftheragingepidemicthathasengulfedthewholeworldexceptforDenmarkwhichistheonlycountrythathasthecure,theAlliedforceswereinamadrushtogetDenmarkoveronoursidesothatourtroopscouldberestoredtoitsoriginalcapabilityanddefendtheAlliedterritoriesagainsttheUSSRtroopsinEastBerlin.WealsohadtogetmorealliesonoursidetomakeanformaldeclaraFonofwartotheUSSR.ThealliedforcessoongotdesperateanddecidedtoextractthecureforcefullyfromadenmarkscienFst.Ajermuchtortureby3soldiers,weobtainedthecure'singredientlistandstartedthesynthesisofthisdrug.Duringthemiddleofthesessionhowever,GeneralLuciusDubignonClayofUSAwaskidnapped.ThecommiteethendecidedtosenttheCIAtoinvesFgatethisincidentandproceededontomaketheoffenseanddefenseplan.WealsohadCanada,Sweden,Norway,Spain,Austria,VaFcan,Hungary,Sweden,NorwayandItalyasourallies.Ontheotherside,EastGermanymadeallianceswithPoland,CzechoslovkiaandDenmark.AjersendinginourfinaldeclaraFonofwarandoffenseplan,thingsgotveryinteresFngwhentheWestBerlincommiteecameintoourroomtodiscusstheissuefurther.

Editor’snote:WeregrettosaythatwehaveyettoreceiveapressreportfromtheEastBerlinCabinet

NATO

Day3wasanevenculconclusionofthecheerfulaggluFnaFonwithintheNATOcounciloverthecourseofthisconference.WiththespeedysubmissionofacommuniquéontheissuethatwillnotbemenFonedotherthanthefactthatithadtodowithnuclearwar,definitelynotbecausethiswritercannotrecallwhattheissuewas,itseemedperFnenttovisittheissueoftheRe‐evaluaFonoftheTalibanasaTerroristOrganisaFon.ConvincingargumentsweremadebythenumerousspeakerswhowerenotrestrictedtomerelydelegatesbutalsothechairsandadelegateoftheGreatDemocraFcPeople’sRepublicofKorea(GDPRK)whohasbeenmasqueradingasasecuritary.WiththisshockingrevelaFon,whatfollowednextlejthiswriterreeling.TheothersecuritaryadminedtobeingadelegateofMars!Yes,readers,wehavehadcontactwithextra‐terrestriallife‐formsinNATO.

ThespeakersagreedthattheGDPRK,TalibanandotherterroristorganisaFonsshouldnolongerbeknownasterrorists,butPeace‐and‐Fun‐Lovers.ThesegroupsshouldalsonotonlybeincludedbutshouldtakeovertheUnitedNaFons.Toquotethedeputychair,“Moreviolence,please!Morefireandexplosions!”Inothernews,thedelegateofBelgiumconductedanimpromptuEnglishlessontoeducateallthedelegatesontheirspelling.And,therewasaconFnuaFonofthescandalspreeofDay2withaquotefromthedelegateofCanada,“thisdelegateofCanadaapologisesforthenervousbreakdownofthedelegateofGermany”.PerhapstherehasbeenonetoomanyunmoderatedcaucusesspentbetweenthedelegatesofCanadaandGermany?TheconferencewasconcludedwiththepassingoftheTalibancommuniqué,there‐assassinaFonoftheghost‐delegateofAmerica,hisroyalspookinesshimself.Thechairswerealsoassassinated,unfortunately.Allinall,thedelegateofGuyshawouldliketothankalldelegates,securitariesandchairsofiMUNConference2011NATOCouncilforalltherandomness,insanity,andenthusiasmshown.Thishastrulybeenagreathonouraswellasamemorableexperience.Peaceout!

DAY3PHOTOHIGHLIGHTS!

SPECPOLheadchair’sa@emptatbeingcool

ThreecheersforourwonderfulpoliCcalactorsformakingIMUNsoentertaining!!

Be@erlevelofdebateaswitnessedbymostchairs!

ThedelegatesoftheUNHumanRightsCouncil