liking: the friendly thief

Chapter 5 Liking:The Friendly Thieffrom Influence by Robert B. Cialdini

Presented by: Ryan Andaya, Trang Bui, Jessica Cha, Lorena Diaz, Paul Riddle, and Rachel So

Definition and StrategiesRule: We prefer to say yes to requests of people we know and like.

Compliance practitioners use this rule apply different strategies to get us to like them. Liking strategies:

1. Physical Attractiveness2. Similarity3. Compliments4. Contact and Cooperation5. Conditioning and Association

Strategy #1: Physical Attractiveness

What is considered attractive?

Physical Attractiveness continued...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=guBwZhr5jW4

Concept: “We like people who are similar to us”

Think of someone you like (your significant other or best friend).Does he/she share something in common with you? Such as: similar backgrounds, interests, personality traits, religions, political views, and experiences. How does it impact what you think of them?

Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8RHtpHG2lQ

Strategy #2: Similarity “Birds of a feather”

Similarity continued...Studies have shown that we are more likely to help those who dress like us.

We tend to respond more favorably to the people who we perceive to be like us.

For example, car salesmen are trained to mirror and match our body languages, tones, and verbal styles to get us to buy their cars!!!

Think of an example of how a salesman/saleswoman tried to act like us.

Strategy #3: ComplimentsConcept: The information that someone fancies us can be a bewitchingly effective device for producing return liking and willing compliance.

Beware: When people flatter us, they want something from us.We are suckers for flattery even if we know that the flatterer is trying to manipulate us. Although there are limits to how gullible we are, generally, we tend to believe praise and like those who give it even if most of the time it is untrue.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVw06f6l6o4

(Jones & Wortman, 1973), (Byrne, Rasche, & Kelley, 1974).

Compliments continued...Experiment: Groups of men were given comments from a person who needed a favor. Some were given either positive or negative comments while others got a mix of both.

Interesting Findings: 1. Men who received positive comments liked the flatterer best.2. Still true even when subjects realized they were being

manipulated. 3. Praises did not have to be true. Untrue praises received the

same amount of liking as when they were true.

Strategy #4: Contact and CooperationConcept: UNCONSCIOUSLY, we often don’t realize that our attitude toward something has been influenced by the number of times we have been exposed to it in the past.

1. Contact

Examples: - Experiment by Bornstein, Leone & Galley in 1987 - Race

Contact and Cooperation continued...** Cooperative learning exposes students to other members outside of their group to discourage rivalry and attempt to minimize competitiveness.

2. Cooperation:Examples: - Jigsaw classroom: to increase

cross-group friendships- “good cop, bad cop”

Strategy #5: Conditioning and AssociationConcept: We have been UNCONSCIOUSLY conditioned to associate negative or positive connections between things. So, compliance practitioners link themselves and their product/idea with positive things so you like them and comply.

1. ConditioningExperiment: Gregory Razran (1938) “Luncheon Technique”Example: In the White House, legislators discuss matters over a meal in

hopes of swaying votes.

http://youtu.be/-63ysqT5nu0

Conditioning and Association continued...2. Association

Study: Mastercard emblemExample: Compliance practitioners use their likability and desirable things to make positive associations with their product.

The connection doesn’t have to make sense, just positive, in order for us to comply.

Defend Yourself How can we prevent being swayed by these requesters?

We have two options:

1. Reverse the process and dislike the person. 2. Let the “liking” techniques work on you BUT …- Become AWARE of their effects - Separate the person from the product/what they’re trying to sell: make a conscious effort to focus on the deal and the object- Then, make your decision!