Basic Counselling Skills

Dr D.S. Satpute

Sandeep Sinha

Counselling ProcessPreparatory Stage :

Attitudes : Respect Genuineness Empathy

Attending

Skills : Social Skills : Greeting,

Politeness & kindness Attending physically Observing Listening

Empathy It is the ability to stand in the other person’s shoes –

to see the world as they see it We can try to drop our own preconceptions & listen to

the other person in order to enter their frame of reference

We can never empathise completely

Genuineness It is the most basic element in the helping relationship The counsellor must be himself, if he is to succeed It is the only way a counsellor can convincingly

convey warmth to the counsellee

Attending Physically Sit facing counsellee Lean forward Make eye-contact Avoid distracting behaviors

Observing Physically : Body build, physical appearance, level of

energy Emotionally : Facial expressions, posture, grooming Interpersonally : Positive, negative, neutral

Listening Know what you are listening for Listen for the specifics Don’t judge Resist distractions Recall tone of voice, feeling words

Counselling ProcessFirst Stage :Attitudes : Respect Genuineness Empathy Concreteness Self Disclosure

RespondingSkills : Responding to contents Responding to feelings &

contents Responding with questions Making summary responses End this stage with a neat

summary of the dominant feelings & their reasons,& get it checked by the counsellee

Concreteness It is the ability to get to listen to what the other person

is saying & to stick with what is being said rather than what is implied

The counsellor accepts what the client says at face value & does not interpret or try to read between the lines

Self – Disclosure Counsellor shares his personal positive feelings,

attitudes, opinions & experiences with the counsellee This does not mean that he dominates the

interchange with autobiographical data

Mistakes in formulating Responses Responses that are too long Responses that show more concern for the facts Responses that are vague & generalized Responses that are leading & directive Responses that are overly supportive & reassuring

Steps to formulate an Effective Response Listen sensitively to the total message coming from

the other person. The empathy question that should guide us “ What is he feeling to say what he says the way he says it”

Identify the core experience of the other, revealed in his verbal & non-verbal communication

Formulate a response , incorporating feeling –words by the formula “ You are feeling….because…

Convey that we do understand & respect his experience by our own verbals & non-verbals

Language of Feelings (Counselee’s Statement)

“I have put up with this nonsense from him for all these years, but this is absolutely the last straw”

Language of Cognition (Counselor’s Response)

“ You are simply furious with him”

Language of Feelings (Counselee’s Statement)

“ I can’t stand his talking behind my back and putting me down every chance he gets”

Language of Cognition (Counselor’s Response)

“ His behavior annoys you no end”

Language of Feelings (Counselee’s Statement)

“ This is the second time in a week that she has failed to keep appointment”

Language of Cognition (Counselor’s Response)

“ You feel dismayed by her neglect of you”

Stages of a Facilitative Response

S – SpontaneousThe response should be neither rehearsed or mechanical

T – Tailor madeIt should be suited to this person at this time

A – AdequateIt should precisely & correctly identify the other’s feelings

R – ReflectiveIt merely reflects meanings back to the counselee

S – SymbolicIt should offer the counselee whenever possible, concrete & creative picture words to help the counselee see his world more clearly & graphically

STARS – 3 Step Process

Focus : Focus on the other’s feelings. Keep at the back of your mind “ What must he be feeling to say what he says, the way he says it?”

Fix : Fix the other’s feelings, each at its correct depth, by processing the total message received from him.

Formulate : Formulate a verbal response that is the closest you can come to in matching the verbal & non-verbal content of the counselee’s expression

Responding Integrate seen & heard, ask : If I were counsellee

how would I feel? Identify feeling intensity & appropriate word Confirm it with your observation of counsellee Find the reason for the feeling Use, you feel …… because (Final Summary) You feel … because…and you

wonder what you could do about it

Counselling ProcessSecond Stage :

Attitudes : All the above + Confrontation Immediacy

Personalizing

Skills : Personalizing the problem &

the goal together

Confrontation It is essentially an invitation to another to take a

second look at the consequences of his current behavior in light of his total personal functioning

It is not a demand to change

Immediacy It is dealing with what is happening in the Here &

Now in the interaction The counsellee’s growth & well being is more

significant in the present rather than the past or future

Personalizing Problem & Goal Ask Counsellee : What are you doing / not doing that

contributes to your problem Ask yourself the same Use : You feel …. because you cannot …. & you

want to

Action Oriented Response : SCOPE

1. S : Self-disclosingThe counselor reveals to the counselee significant information about himself

2. C : ConcreteThe counselor initiate a move away from vague generalizations towards concrete & specific self-understanding

3. O : Offering other viewsCounselor invites the counselee to have a second look at himself, his behavior, his situation from a different , broader & more objective perspective

Action Oriented Response : SCOPE

4. P : Perceptively confrontingSometimes, discrepancies of inconsistencies become apparent in the counselee’s presentation and/or behavior. The counselor should draw his attention to these inconsistencies, inviting him to reflect upon their consequences in his life.

5. E : Encouraging immediacyIt is dealing with what is happening in the Here & Now in the interaction.The counselee’s growth & well being is more significant in the present rather than the past or future.

Counselling ProcessThird Stage :

Attitudes : All the above

Initiating

Skills : State the goal clearly Identify appropriate steps to

reach the goal Formulate the 1st step

Initiating Your goal is …. Ask counsellee, what steps could you take to reach the goal?

Write them down. Help counsellee to formulate practical & concrete steps

Read the goal & step back to counsellee for additional steps Yourself add appropriate steps Read again the goal & all the steps back to counsellee & ask to

choose the 1st step Place the 1st step in space & time Use : Your 1st step is ….

Counselling ProcessSubsequent Stage :

Attitudes : All the above

Evaluating A week or so after the

counsellee has taken the 1st step, evaluate with her performance & modify the plan of action in the light of her feedback

Sustain her motivation using reinforcers