7/25/2019 Blaze Mag Oct 2013 Issue - Carp Hunters

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!f theres a story that perfectly describesbest friends Nate Wallick and Zac Hoff-man, its the one from high school aboutintentionally setting fire to a cup of hay

in Hoffmans minivan.

I saw two hay bales one day while driv-ing around with Ben [Nates older brotherand a former Navy SEAL], the 30-year-oldHoffmanabout 5 feet 6 inches tall withan athletic buildsays from the front seatof Wallicks truck as we drive to the IllinoisRiver. Were about to dress up in helmetsand shin guards while wielding homemadeweapons to exterminate some Asian carp,a nuisancefish that has invaded the water-way and is threatening to spread to theGreat Lakes. Almost inexplicably, the fishalso leap feet in the air when certain boats

drive overhead.And I was like, Man, I miss the coun-try, he says in a fast-paced, Chicago accentafter explaining how they replaced theback seats with the bales.

It evolved from there.I said, I want to smell like the county

fair. So I had some Zippo fluid and I putsome hay in a mug and then I lit it on fire[in the cup holder]. The smoke startedcoming out of it and I said, at smells likethe county fair!

For the next couple days, he and Wal-

licka 28-year-old former college runningback that looks like a mix between Arnold

Schwarzenegger and a frat brotherdrovearound with smoke billowing out the win-dows and ski goggles on to protect theireyes from burning.

Nate would [roll down the window at

stop lights and] be like, Hey, you knowwhere the Grateful Dead concert is?Meet the high-octane Peoria Carp

Hunters, a pair of childhood friends whohave turned a weirdfish phenomenon intonumerous viral videos and a small sidebusiness. And their story is everythingthats great about America.

"#$$%& ()*+%I first heard about the duo in spring 2011.In order to promote Wallicks businesslocated in the town of Peoria, Ill., about

three hours southwest of Chicagotheguys came up with a crazy idea: film them-selves in outrageous outfits on water skisand tubes trying to slay the droves of silverfish that flash across their faces.

e video went viral, Internet-speak fordescribing its nearly 700,000 views. Itquickly became one of TheBlaze.comsmost popular stories.

Scheduling conflicts kept me from visit-ing in the past, but we finally settled on adate this summer. I went hoping to capturefootage of whats turned them into a sensa-

tion (theyve already been featured onAnimal Planet and companies are sending

them free products to feature), but I foundso much more.

,*-!./ 0"1*.2%)"3Shes my boat driver, Wallick says about his

7-months-pregnant wife Sallya tall blondewith a gentle, high-pitched voice and cute-as-a-button personality. He introduces us inthe kitchen of their three-bedroom ranchhome that sits on a cul-de-sac. A sign nearthe door asks you to check your shoes fordirt and, I can only imagine, fish parts.

When I pulled up, Nate had been ready-ing the boat for our first excursion, a Fri-day aernoon aerial bow-fishing adven-ture clients pay $140 an hour to experience.When he eventually walked into the house,I didnt immediately follow, not sure

whether I was fully welcome in his innersanctum. Aer belatedly sauntering in, Iwas greeted with a what-took-you-so-longoffer for a soda. I shouldve known.

She was what I used to call home-screwed, Nate says cheekily, describinghis term for Sallys home-schooling up-bringing. He admits now that was a littleignorant, but Sallys not offended, la-menting how the home-schoolers shegrew up with were too sheltered.

e couple explained how they meta few years earlier at a Christian con-

ference. Having rekindled his faithaer thwarting a shooting in 2007,

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7/25/2019 Blaze Mag Oct 2013 Issue - Carp Hunters

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Nate attended the event with a renewedinterest. But to say the two met is slight-ly misleading. Instead, Sallys parents in-troduced themselvesto Nate. He didntthink much of it until a few weeks laterwhen they tracked down his email addressand started writing.

Little did he know he was being vetted

for a future relationship. Eventually, he flewout to California to visit, and thats whenthings with Sally started.

ey stalked me, he says half-joking-ly.ey were engaged and married withinsix months, and Sally packed up andmoved to Peoria.

A#& )!AB1" *&$ A%11!&A )!AB1efirst trip on the water is successfulatleast for me.

Nate tells me the carp arent jumping asmuch as they usually do, but I dont know

that. Normally, the frequency created un-derwater by the hum of the engine and the

vibrations of the boats aluminum hull (fi-berglass hulls absorb the vibrations) cre-ates a fog of fish. Today, it was more like amorning mist. Still, I manage to shoot oneof them out of the air with a bow and anarrow attached to a string and reel.

Aer ourfirst outing, we go to dinner tocelebrate at Schooners, a local nautical-

themed hangout owned by aman Nate credits with gettinghim his day job as a local

firefighter. Four steps out-side the door, Nate is al-ready greeted with a hugand a Hows it going?it

doesnt matter that hes on his phone.It isnt long before he starts talking pol-

itics and guns. So the question is, just likePiers Morgan is asking, what do you need[an AR-15] for? He leans in and says hedoesnt really need it for hunting or homedefense. What I told a couple guys that Iknow is, what do you need a motorcycle

that can go over 65 miles an hour for?Round here, the fastest you can go is 65miles an hour, so what do you need a mo-torcycle that can do like 200 miles an hour?You dont. But you have one because youlike to have one.

Its my constitutional right to have it,he concludes.

Nates an interesting combination of agun-toting conservative whos also anactive union member. And hes got a per-spective on guns most dont: While in col-lege six years ago, he stepped in to break

up a fight. One thug pulled out a loadedgun while Nate pleaded with him not toshoot. ey wrestled. Nate won. e guylater accepted a plea of assault with a dead-ly weapon.

at changed him from rabble-rouserto righteous.

So Im lying in my bed that night, andIm thinking, All right. So, if he did pull thetrigger, and I dropped dead right there onthe spot, Im gonna stand before the LordAlmighty. What am I going to say to Him?I wasgonnaget with it? I wasgoingto do

it? Cmon, man.

B%*$ C, 1B% *)-C)/Zac poses for a picture the next day in an

antlered baseball helmet as he cele-brates a very Carp Hunter accom-plishment: Hes just speared a jump-ing fish with a trident while beingpulled behind the boat on skis.

He lives and works in Chica-gocloser to where the guys grew

upand doesnt get to Peoria asmuch. This was his first time out

hunting this summer, and the crav-ings hes been experiencing show inthe voracity of his celebration.

If Nate is the brawn behind thebusiness, then Zac is the fun-lovingenergy shot. He seems to bring a cer-

tain life-of-the-party quality to theduo. Its not obnoxious or overpow-

eringits the perfect mixture ofleaning over the edge but notjumping off the cliff. For ex-

ample, not only did he helpdesign some of the pairs most

ridiculous weapons, he wasalso quick to retire some of

the ones that became too dangerous.e razor-sharp sword?e gash on his

finger screamed no more!e medieval-looking Louisville Slugger

covered in nails? He quickly realized the riskof puncturing ones own leg.

e garbage-can-turned-body-armoroutfitted with giant treble hooks? He en-

couraged Nate to give it up once he sawwhat might happen if he wiped out on thewater.

I would never even put it on, he sayswhile describing it. Nates special.

A%!&% *)1!(.%e morning sun trickles through the treesas we wind through the back roads 30 min-utes outside Peoria. The tall, sprawlingcorn strains for the rays like baby birdsyearning for their morning feeding. Wereon our way to Nates land so they can show

me what they do with the carp once theyget some.

Aer buying 70 acres in the middle ofthe woods and farm country, Nates build-ing a modest home to share with his par-ents. Why? e worlds getting crazier, hesays. His dad used his retirement accountto help with the costs. Both couples preferthe security of their own land should thecountry deteriorate even more.

We turn down a gravel road, which justfeels right. While Nate usually spreads thefish carcasses in areas hes eventually going

to farm (he sees the wisdom in growing hisown food), he decides to show me the otherway its done. ey strap some light, legalexplosives (Tannerite) to three of the fish,and we use an AR-15 to turn the 10- to15-poundfilter feeders into instant fertilizer.

With each mini-explosion, Nate lets outa boyhood, wicked-witch cackle that up-sets the otherwise quiet woods.

As I turn my car back down the road,Nate shows off the under-constructionhouse to Zac for the first time. I imaginethem about 20-years younger, running

around it like a jungle gym and likely rais-ing just enough hell to make things fun.But then Will Hoges country song

Strong plays in the car:Hes a 20-year straight get to work on time;Hes a love one woman for all his life;Everybody knows he aint just tough;Hes strong.ats more fitting, I think to myself.

TO BOOK YOUR OWN ASIAN CARP ADVENTURE,

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Jonathon M. Seidl