A TIMES OF INDIA PUBLICATION SPIRITUAL PROMOTIONAL FEATURE | KOLKATA, SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 14, 2016, PAGES: 8 PRICE 3.00http://www.speakingtree.in

The best way to cheer yourself up is totry to cheer somebody else up

— Mark Twain

We live compli-cated lives.Too many ofus feel over-whelmed andunful f i l led.

We have competing needs and de-mands for our time. This results inthe creation of, and the experienceof stress. We may complain of feel-ing burnt out.We get into negativespaces of not being good enough,unable to cope, depressed and com-paring our lives to others.

Stress is a fact of life.The Ameri-can Institute of Stress reports that 75per cent to 90 per cent of visits tohealth care providers are about stressrelated disorders.The American Psy-chological Association (2007) reportsthat 50 per cent of us believe stress isincreasing and 49 per cent believe thatit affects our well-being.Forty-six percent believe that it influences ourphysical state and roughly 50 per centreport symptoms of anger and fatigue.

A simple way to redefine stress isto see it as nothing more than a chal-lenge to our system and an invitationfor us to provide a wise response tomanage it. Stress is a routine part ofliving and most of the time we han-dle it appropriately. For example,hunger is a stress, but a usefulfeeling; it tells us to eat.

The truth is that we caneither manage stress poor-ly or well. It is the choicewe make and our abil-ity to cope which

allows us to feel either in control oroverwhelmed.

A common complaint is that ‘Idon’t have enough time in my day.’When we approach our lives this way,we are often too focused on what weare ‘doing’ to catch up that we neglectto pay attention to a critical aspect ofourselves.This is the aspect of ‘being’.

Being creates a different type offocus.At the moment of ‘do-

ing’, are we also aware ofhow we are feeling? Dowe have the energy,

focus, and desire?Are we

in

touch with those aspects of ourselvesthat allow us to navigate our internalstates with wisdom? Ask the question:“How am I being while I am doingmy doing?”

Let us look at whether we have ahealing recipe for ourselves.We must be honest in an-swering these questions.

For our physical well-be-ing: Do we give ourselvesenough breaks or rest timeduring the day? How fulfill-ing is our sleep and exercise?Do we eat healthily and in adisciplined way? All thesesignificantly help us to man-age stress.Without these basics steps,nothing else will work well enough.Studies, for example, have shown that

reducing calorie intake one day aweek to 600 calories with flu-

ids, can reduce stress, boostthe immune system andbuild more

nerve cells, provides better tools tomanage stress.

How do we manage our thoughtsand emotions? Do we have realisticand constructive ideas about what isreasonable to accomplish in a day? Is

our self-worth so externallybound to our ‘doing’ that wesacrifice our ‘being’? Toomany of us need to appearcompetent in another per-son’s eyes, so we sell our soulto do so.When we do this,our minds and hearts be-come overwhelmed, con-fused and we feel inauthen-tic to ourselves.

Can we listen to our spirit andheart about what is really importantfor our life? We are all worthy just theway we are.All of us are on a journeyand we all have imperfections.

Here are some other simple in-gredients,which are backed by scienceand easy to do. They have all beenshown to decrease stress.n Deep, slow breathing for at least five

minutes a day, can improve con-centration and memory.

It increases brain neu-rons and helps the brainto access its delta andtheta brain frequenciesthat causes the mind tosettle. Important healingthen takes place.n Meditation and yogaof all kinds are power-ful tools.n Seek a confidantewho will listen to you

without judgement.Those who share,actually live longer than those whoare isolated.n Get out there and be kind to oth-ers. Show gratitude for something,however small it may be.n Practice forgiveness and patienceand be nonjudgemental. Criticisingand judging others are very self-cen-tred behaviours and they actually pro-duce harmful chemicals in our body,

A special word to teenagers andyoung adults:

Research is showing a marked in-crease in the use of technology. Anaverage 18 to 19-year-old uses tech-nology anywhere between 11 to 18hours a day. It is now shown that themore hours spent on using technol-ogy, the less empathetic and compas-sionate we are to each other. So byavoiding face-to-face human con-

nection and creating more isolation,teenagers and young adults are man-aging their stress poorly. Depression,anxiety, drug abuse is a sad outcomeof this trending behaviour.

Whoever and wherever we are,wecame into this world to make a pos-itive difference. Fulfilling that desireis our goal and stress sabotages our ul-timate dream. Small, consistent stepsin addressing our stress gradually freeus up more and more to be who wereally are.n

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Shakti Durga worked closely

with The Speaking Tree editorial

team for this special issue on

Valentine’s Day

Shakti Durga, a barrister-turned-

spiritual leader in Sydney is a

frequent visitor to India. ‘Shakti’

means spiritual energy and ‘Durga’

is the fierce and protective form of

the divine mother. Shakti Durga’s

teachings are charged with energy

as she embodies the divine mother,

teaching and role modelling the

transformational power of

unconditional love. She combines

energetic and spiritual healing

modalities in her Ignite Your Spirit

therapy. She is the spiritual director

of the Shanti Mission, a peace

mission helping to create

an age of peace on earth.

Follow Shakti Durga at speakingtree.in

ADVT

GUEST EDITOR

REDEFINE STRESS

TO SEE IT AS NOTHING

MORE THAN

A CHALLENGE TO OUR

SYSTEM AND

AN INVITATION FOR US

TO PROVIDE A WISE

RESPONSE TO MANAGE

IT.... WE CAN EITHER

MANAGE STRESS POORLY

OR WELL. IT IS ALL ABOUT

THE CHOICE WE MAKE

AND OUR ABILITY

TO COPE

Learn to be ‘love on legs’Turn your relationships around and transform your life, writes SHAKTI DURGA

Love: Everyone wants it, butthere is definitely a knack tolasting love.At some stage in al-most every relationship, situa-tions arise which put a lot of

pressure on our capacity to stay open, re-ceptive and graceful in love. We closedown and get defensive.

We make ourselves harderto love. Often we blame ourbeloved.We can feel aggrievedwhen our beloved says or doesthings that are not in accor-dance with our expectations.Sometimes we feel justified inour anger, impatience orridicule because our ego tellsus it is all their fault!

In a complex world,we are always go-ing to have challenges and obstacles, andthere will be times when we disagree.Thequality of our interaction in these difficulttimes will affect just how blazing with joywe can be the rest of the time.

See The Big PictureIf we were able to be objective, we

would notice that our attitude needs someattention, our lower nature has taken overand the sunshine of our love is hidden be-hind clouds of negative attitude, egotisticcontrol and our own passive aggression.

The spiritual reality is that no one isperfect, and we will all have days when ourstress levels are too high,or when our sam-skaras and old karmas arise to be dealt with.

No matter how aggravated we mightfeel, in order to experience lasting love,wecan use the situation to reinvent ourselvesat a higher level of consciousness.

We alone are responsible for the qual-ity and vibration of our thoughts andwords, actions and habits.We alone cancreate a lift and shift to bring harmony to

our spirit and everything itinfuses.

Are we being the lov-ing partner that wewould like to have?All of life is a spir-itual classroom,helping us togrow in love, wis-

dom, compassion, humility andpeace. Relationships are the ad-vanced class!

This Valentines’s Day letus take stock of how yourspirit is infusing your re-lationships.Take steps us-ing the tools of your spir-itual path to be empow-ered in turning your re-lationships around.By shifting yourown attitude andenergy, you canmake bad relation-ships good and goodones fabulous.

Let us learn to belove on legs. n

Valentine’s DayThank you for comingFor seeing, for stayingFor being the answerTo all of my prayingIn spite of all the crazy thingsI think and say and doThanks for loving meAs I love you– Gayatri Kamadhenu,

Singer, song-writer

STRESS-FREE& Happier

Ravana’s Ten Heads

Ravana’s ten-headed condition has been diagnosed by a

neurosurgeon, reports PATRICK JERED

Over a period of two years, in the internation-al medical journal Surgical Neurology, there wasa learned exchange of views between med-ical specialists concerning historical cases such

as the 18th century two-headed boy of Bengal, whosedouble-skull had been preserved as a medical specimen atthe Royal College of Surgeons in London.

The medical condition of the unfortunate child hadbeen posthumously diagnosed by one of the specialistsas craniopagus parasiticus, in which two separate heads arefused together and share a single neck. Other possibili-ties, it was stated, included having two heads on indi-vidual necks (dicephalus), and having two faces on a sin-gle head (diprosopus).

There were several documented cases of humans withmultiple heads throughout history as well as mytholog-ical examples from around the world, one surgeon point-ed out.These included King Ravana of Sri Lanka whohad ten heads.The neurosurgeon, K Rajasekharan Nair,even went so far as to offer a diagnosis. Based upon var-ious mythological descriptions, he stated, King Ravana’smultiple heads were most likely a case of craniopagusparasiticus. (Patrick Jered is a Netherlands-based med-ical writer and author of the recently published bookFinding the Demon’s Fiddle: on the Trail of the Ravanhattha(Tranquebar). n

BADRI RICKHI and ALLAN DONSKY of the Canadian Institute of Natural and Integrative Medicine tell us how to manage stress

by renovating our relationship with ourselves and others, so that we can love more and be loved even more