34 WWW.PAINPATHWAYS.ORG

C A R E G IVE R C O R N E R

Caregivers

CARING TIPS FOR

by MELANIE YOUNG

WINTER 2017 35

Click E-EDITION at painpathways.org to

SHARE this article with others.

At some point in your life you may find yourself taking on an important role that you may not be prepared for or anticipate. It is the role of caregiver.

ACCORDING TO a 2009 report by the National Alliance for Caregiving in collaboration with AARP, more than 65 million people, 29 percent of the US population, provide for a chronically ill, disabled or aged family member or friend. Caregiv-ers spend an average of 20 hours a week providing for their loved ones. The report also notes that approximately 66 percent of family caregivers are women, and “the typical family caregiver is a 40-year-old woman caring for her widowed 69-year-old mother who does not want to live with her.” More than 37 percent of caregivers have chil-dren or grandchildren under 18 years old living with them.

Caregiving at any age is hard. You are responsible for the medical, emotional and financial care and wellbeing of a loved one who may be physically or mentally disabled, either temporarily or indefinitely. Being the sole caregiver can be a lonely role, and you may not know where to turn for help. If you have family members sharing responsibility, it can be challenging

since you may not all agree on the decisions to be made. You may also neglect the one thing that matters more than the loved one whom you are helping: your own health.

Terry Fulmer, PhD, RN, FAAN, is president of The John A. Hart-ford Foundation, a private, non-partisan philanthropy dedicated to improving the care of older adults. According to Fulmer, “Family care-givers frequently perform heroic tasks for their loved ones, often with no training, limited support and lit-tle recognition. Nearly half of these caregivers provide complex medical tasks like wound care or giving injections. They are more likely to experience emotional distress, depression, anxiety, social isolation; to report being in poor physical health; to have elevated levels of stress hormones; and to have higher rates of chronic disease. Caregivers are also at risk for economic hard-ship and negative impacts on their social and family relationships, and the stress of caregiving can lead to the terrible outcome of elder mis-treatment and neglect.” >>>

36 WWW.PAINPATHWAYS.ORG

Here are some practical

caregiver tips:• Forget the idea that taking time out for your self-health is being selfish. Caring for a loved one is a role that requires both emotional and physical strength and stamina.

• Make time for daily exercise and fresh air, for instance taking a walk outside the hospital or home for at least 30 minutes. Exercise will also help you sleep better.

• Maintain a regular, balanced meal schedule. You may find you don’t have time to cook or may be eating meals at the hospital and at odd hours. Consider using a meal delivery service that can help save you time while providing healthy nourishment. Some services are meal kits with pre-portioned ingredients and instructions for preparation, and others are prepared meals that you simply heat and serve. Consider Freshly (www.freshly.com) and Savor Health (www.savorhealth.com).

• Carve out daily time to decompress through meditation or a creative outlet that calms and centers you, even for a few minutes. Your mind needs a rest as much as your body does.

• Ask questions and take notes. As caregiver, you may be the voice for your loved one. You have every right to ask about treatments, medications and managing side effects and question how and why they are being recommended or handled. If you have a concern, speak up.

• Create a manageable communications plan to others. Constant calls, texts and emails are stressful. Designate one day a week to update everyone through email or text. Consider using CaringBridge, an online

C A R E G IVE R C O R N E R

I watched my grandmother, Mimi, devote

herself to my dying grandfather to the point

where she neglected her own health and

suffered a sudden and fatal heart attack. When

my father was dying, my mother said to me, “I

don’t want to become Mimi.” Still, I watched the

stress melt away her body and sap her energy

when she neglected to eat or sleep.

Recently I became a caregiver to my husband,

who suffered a neurological condition that

impacted his cognitive function and mobility

and required hospitalization. One morning I

rushed over to his hospital room and proceeded

to pass out from a severe gastritis attack.

When I recovered, I told him, “I love you, but I

do not want to become Mimi.” Fortunately, his

condition improved, but I couldn’t help thinking

about those caregivers for whom the role is

much longer and more intense.

How do you find a balance between caring for

your loved one and caring for yourself?

“I love you, but I do not want to become Mimi.”

WINTER 2017 37

resource where you can create a free personal website to update everyone. www.caringbridge.org

• Be clear about sharing information—or not—on social media. If you do not want comments or prayers about your loved one’s health mentioned on sites like Facebook, be very specific about this in your private communication. Many well-intentioned friends may post something that you would prefer not being shared publicly.

• Ask for help and tell people what would be helpful to you and your family when they offer support. Family, friends, neighbors and your house of worship are a good place to start. Realize that sometimes relatives are not the best source for help; they may live elsewhere or have other

obligations or restrictions. Do not take this personally.

• Be patient with your loved one and with the people caring for him or her. And do not take things personally if your loved one becomes angry or emotional with you.

Helpful Orgs & Websites

for Caregivers:Family Caregiver Alliance

www.caregiver.org

Caregiver Action Network

www.caregiveraction.org

The John A. Hartford Foundation

www.jhartfound.org

US Department of Aging Eldercare

www.eldercare.gov/Eldercare.NET

Melanie Young is a certified health coach, breast

cancer survivor and author of Getting Things Off

My Chest: A Survivor’s Guide to Staying Fearless

& Fabulous in the Face of Breast Cancer, which

features a chapter dedicated to caregivers. She

hosts the national radio show on women’s health,

Fearless Fabulous You! Mondays 4pm EST on the

Women 4 Women Network (W4WN.com and

anytime on iHeart.com and the free iHeart App).

www.PainPathways.org

THANK YOUto our FACEBOOK CHAT EXPERTS & PARTICIPANTS

READ & SHARE highlights from previous chats on fibromyalgia, migraines, wellness, pelvic pain, RSD/CRPS and more on the PAIN INFO & RESOURCES tab.

CHAT with more PAIN

MANAGEMENT EXPERTSin 2017!