31st March 2011 Collection

A collection of both published and

unpublished freelance work

Special Edition

Pearl of the Orient

Hong Kong reveals its

greener patches

The Man behind the meat

Lady Gaga’s stylist

This month in Collection…

We cover some of the highlights of London

Fashion Week with London team Blow PR

(4-10)

In music this month, learn how to deal with bad gig etiquette

(2-3) and read a review of the most recent John Mayer tour

(…)

We introduce you to Nicola Formichetti, the stylist

behind Lady Gaga’s most bizarre attire (10)

Our guest blogger ponders if chat-up lines really work

(..)

We shed some light on The Wool Campaign, and the

unexpected Royal who launched it (…)

Our main travel feature reveals a hidden

side to bustling Hong Kong (…)

Editor’s Letter

This special edition issue of Collection is an eclectic mix of our favourite pieces

and favourite topics.

Presenting an assortment of skills I have acquired and developed, the purpose of

this magazine is to showcase pieces of my freelance work (some published, others

unpublished) and fundamentally, my ability to write about a diverse range of

topics.

Having been commissioned to cover London Fashion Week, to write fashion

pieces, travel pieces and to guest blog opinion pieces, I have had experience

within different areas.

From travel to music and fashion to opinion, I hope you enjoy the array of pieces

included.

Sarah Kwong

Editor

Bluegrass bands, tailored

perfection and Oriental luxe.

The best new emerging

designers really know how to

put on a show.

LFW & Blow Online team up

for fashion’s best.

Ones to Watch

WHO: Charlotte Taylor

WHERE: Vauxhall Fashion Scout @ Freemasons’ Hall

WHAT: The soundtrack to Brit designer Charlotte Taylor’s

show reflected her collection one hundred percent, down to

every beat and every stitch. A remix is how it can best be

described – an array of shapes, fabrics, colours and songs that

allowed the line to demand people’s attention.The first

look to make it down the catwalk was a cutout-detailed

denim crop top paired with denim-trimmed velvet shorts.

Immediately it was made clear that Taylor would be taking

classic pieces and twisting the rules to create a wearable yet

noticeable collection for the young and fashion-forward.

A mixed bag, the collection housed everything from camel felt dresses with

multicoloured straps (which the designer herself sported at the end of the show), to

floaty chiffon playsuits covered in a robot motif. There was no strict theme or

expected style, Taylor tried and tested them all and was successful in her efforts to

create a varied line.Not afraid to mix different patterns and palettes, no garment

was one block colour which says something about Taylor’s methods, inspiration and

desire for fun, not just fashion. The whole show brought one summary to light – the

collection was like a cut and paste gone right.

HIGHLIGHT: The mixed colourwheel of patterns and colours is something only the

cleverest designers can get away with. Taylor was one of those few.

Words: Sarah Kwong

Photography: Cristine Leone

London Fashion

Week Highlights

Ones to Watch

WHO: A. Hallucination

WHERE: Vauxhall Fashion Scout @ Freemasons’ Hall

WHAT: The London-based menswear designing duo, A. Hallucination, also taking the

platform at Ones To Watch, provided something unexpected. Being one of the few

menswear-only designers definitely worked in their favour, giving the audience

something fresh and ultimately something different to see, perceive and react

to.With rumours of immaculately crafted suits, we could only hope for some

tailoring with a punch and perhaps for some of their directional Oriental style to

emerge in their collection. Happily, we received more than we’d hoped for in colour,

in cut and in style. Wearing a blue silk shirt tucked into a pair of sleek, clean-cut

shorts, the model’s simple side-gelled hair was the cherry on this refreshing and, more

importantly, impressive cake.

Each carefully chosen colour was not there to be seen immediately, but instead to be

picked out when admiring each outfit as a whole. They utilised every menswear

garment from shorts to waistcoats; everything was crisply cut to perfection and

FASHION

seemed to cater to the modern, but not too modern, man. Playing on what men find

comfortable and what’s simple but has enough character to be noticed, the collection

seemed to be all about immaculate craftsmanship, and simply, ease.Within the

effortlessly wearable pieces lay some quirky detailing of which will appeal to men

whose style is classic with a contemporary twist. From pastel-tone panels to additional

pleats on the shoulders of a shirt, they ensured that the minimalism was attractive and

not extreme.The models also carried chic yet functional bags, proving even moreso

that the collection was for real, working, modern men who prefer to own something of

great quality rather than a wardrobe full of flashy yet mediocre items.

HIGHLIGHT: Their appearance at the end of the show, two

stylish men sharing a brotherly hug down the runway with two

of their models. That’s success, in all facets.

Words: Sarah Kwong

Photography: Cristine Leone

WHO: Prophetik

WHERE: Vauxhall Fashion Scout @ Freemasons’ Hall

WHAT: The Prophetik show promised a ‘Midnight Garden’ under Tennessee-born Jeff

Garner’s lead, and, as expected, romantic pastoral tales from the Deep South were

exactly what we got. Maintaining their musical roots and following on from last

season’s memorably melodious show, Prophetik’s live band were again in tow, this

time including an opera singer, two hillbilly guitarists and enough yee-hahs to call it a

hoe-down.

Despite the rhythmic shenanigans, Prophetik’s line was a little less 50s dustbowl South

and a lot more enchanted innocence. The show kicked off with beautifully flowing ball

gowns embellished with lace and delicate rope ties. Following this, fitted denim

jackets and antique pin-tucked dresses graced the catwalk, ethereality and humanity

colliding in what can only be described as a Southern fairytale. With a mixture of

denim, corduroy tailoring and voluminous silks, the collection left no starry-eyed style

unturned.

FASHION

In Garner’s signature soulful style, the tones and textures in the show whispered

‘organic’, from the innocent baby blue tie-dye of the hooded tunics to the light-

coloured cotton of the male bloomers. Even the most captivating of ball gowns entailed some

youthful, everyday rope tie details – seemingly to match the wispy fishtail plaits on the female

models. For the men, slick subtle quiffs, for an all-Southern gentleman. Glitter was dotted

under the eyes, for a doe-eyed effect on their fresh, pure faces.

When Garner made his appearance at the end dressed in his bloomers, waistcoat and

Southern attire, unable to deny his roots, he joined the guitarists for a jig. A fabulous

way to celebrate, if ever we saw one.

GOODIE BAG: An environmentally friendly tote from Envriosax, of course.

HIGHLIGHT: The orchestra, the bluegrass band and the stunning denim-tone suede

ball gown to close.

Words: Sarah Kwong

Photography: Cristine Leone

WHO: Fashion Shenzhen

WHERE: Vauxhall Fashion Scout @ Freemasons’ Hall

WHAT: The orderly, almost neat queue formed outside the venue, completely alien in the world of London Fashion Week, was a good representation of what was to come in the Shenzhen show.

A collaboration of a China-British business council, Shenzhen appeared at Vauxhall Fashion Scout with a show of two halves. Unaware of what to expect, we were more than pleasantly surprised when beautiful pieces, sitting elegantly on striking doll-like models emerged from backstage. With either dramatic, high-sitting buns or slicked-over, flapper-esque hairstyles, the models walked slowly down the catwalk, the word ‘goddess’ springing to mind.

Black and gold was the fundamental theme of the first half, with traditional Oriental silks and satins mixed with less conventional fine netting. With adorning bangles and monumental drop earrings (as far away from Pat Butcher on the style spectrum as possible), the models graced the audience with flashes of reflected light from their molten jewellery.

The range of attire was vast, moving from floor-length fish-tail dresses, emblazoned tastefully with the emblematic Chinese dragon, to short tulle frocks embracing tassle fringing like something from an old Oriental ornament. Unlike the traditional Far

FASHION

Eastern dressing however, each piece carried a unique detail; for one short satin dress it w

as an oversized black bow on the shoulder, sprayed with fine gold studs. For another it was

thick tiers of fabric draped from the hips.

The second half of the show was all about casual comfort. A whole array of patterns were sent down the catwalk, from zigzags and stripes to magnified checks. The main colour palette consisted of purple, pink, green and blue. Not eccentric or bright, but instead calm and easy to wear. The beauty of the second half was its simplicity and wearability – the appeal was there in its quality rather than any extravagance. The designs were clearly made with this Zen the Chinese speak of; from wools to soft cottons, the line was made for comfort and being at one with yourself, and fashion of course. GOODIE BAG: No goodie bags at the show itself, but in the presentation beforehand we spotted bags – inside was an important-looking box with a mysterious silk scroll.

HIGHLIGHT: The tight bustier fish-tail dress which the model did an excellent job of walking in! Words: Sarah Kwong Photography: Cristine Leone

ady Gaga’s outré ensembles are arguably more notorious than she is. From her Kermit-

covered frock, to her more recent raw meat dress, she is, without doubt, a style icon

unlike any other. However, incongruous to the attention-grabbing looks he creates, her

stylist is comparatively a bit of a dark horse. So who exactly is the man behind the meat?

Cue Nicola Formichetti – consultant, fashion stylist and creative director. This worldly

gentleman is indeed the culprit, responsible for conjuring Gaga’s fabulously avant-garde attire.

Born in Japan in 1977 to an Italian father and a Japanese mother, Formichetti grew up between

these two divergent countries. His unique style is a direct result of his upbringing: eclectic,

modern, international, traditional, Eastern and European. He currently lives between London,

New York and Tokyo, managing both his time and his various projects from across the globe.

His vast experience includes roles as the Fashion Director at Vogue Hommes Japan,

Contributing Fashion Editor at V Magazine, Dazed & Confused and Another, and, most

recently, an appointment as the Creative Director of Parisian fashion house, Thierry Mugler.

And who better to rescue the OTT 80s brand from its current doldrums than someone so

synonymous with power shoulders and theatricality?

After first meeting at V Magazine, and “instantly falling in love”, Lady Gaga recently spoke of

Nicola and his new position: “Blood pumps through Nicola’s veins like perfume and cigarettes.

Thierry Mugler has a way with legendary lifestyle and Nicola is just that: Epic Lifestyle,

Freakdom, Gorgeous or Die…Nicola Formichetti is Fashion’s Freedom. I love him, my friend

the genius, my collaborator, more than any piece of clothing I possess. But don’t tell him I said

that, he’ll die. He picked them all out.”

L

FASHION

FASHION

ew York is hailed one of the most powerful, flurrying places in the

world, but is there more to the big city than the ole hustle and

bustle?

As Jay-z informed us, ‘The Big Apple’ is not the only nickname for New York City. With aerial

skyscrapers, a competitive backbone and a population of 8.4million, the asphalt is more a

‘concrete jungle’. Despite it’s status as a lion pit, you’ll find that New York is a jungle in more

ways that one.

Central Park, stretching across 843 acres, is the beacon of light for those fragile souls who can’t

function solely on Starbucks (shocking). An oasis sitting proudly in the centre of the urban

chaos, Central Park is the soul of the city, and it’s not just a pretty postcard. The park contains

a myriad of attractions including ice rinks and the Central Park Zoo.

It’s the only buzzing patch of flora in the city, right? Wrong, comrade. With no less than

28,000 acres of parkland to choose from, finding the best green space is no easy feat; so we’ve

done all the work for you.

N

Sitting Around Outside in New York

TRAVEL

Bryant Park

You’d think the lush lawns would be attraction enough for any New Yorker needing escape,

but on New York terms, nothing is ever done by halves. Bryant Park is so much more than a

garden; located in the Midtown district, it is the ideal spot for lunch, with extra brownie

points (and visitors) in the warmer months. The green iron chairs have transformed the park

into something of an icon, making it accessible to all, even your local tramp.

The park also hosts free film and musical festivals and fashion shows. Don’t fancy PBJ

sandwiches amongst the ladybirds? Don’t fret, one of the city’s most popular restaurants is

onsite. The Bryant Park Grill allows you to flirt with nature on the rooftop garden, whilst

enjoying those BBQ ribs.

Hudson River Park

Spanning from 59th Street to Battery Park, the Hudson River Park is, as you can guess, on the

Hudson River, and connects a variety of landmarks, from the World Trade Center to the always-

cool TriBeCa district. They’ve got tennis and basketball courts, soccer fields, a playground, a

dog run (named the “Best Of New York” by New York Magazine…) and a cycle path that runs

the entire park’s length. If these everyday sports don’t float your boat, The Trapeze School of

New York operates on the roof of Pier 40 (Go on, dare you). If you’re just there for the sunshine?

There is many a grassy space for catching those East Coast rays.

Prospect Park

Brooklyn, the artsy cultural borough of New York City, famed for its indie inhabitants (hello

Alexa Chung) is definitely not the ‘second-hand Manhattan’ that visitor’s hail it to be. A melting

pot of cultures and ethnicities, the area is relaxed and creative and has it’s own independent art

scene. Designed by the brains behind Central Park, Prospect Park is just as distinctive.

Notable attractions include Long Meadow, which does what it says on the tin; a 90-acre open

meadow, next door to the Picnic House, which can accommodate parties of up to 175 people.

(party, anyone?)

Pearl of the

Orient

Frequently described as where ‘East meets West’, Hong Kong has

a wealth of history buried beneath the old neon signs and

demanding sidewalks. We explore the hidden depths and

traditional culture of an undiscovered Hong Kong.

atching the burning sun setting over the South China Sea, as lights start to illuminate

apartment windows and the flurry from the crammed streets begins, is just one way to

experience a taste of Hong Kong before the plane has even landed. Hong Kong consists

of many layers, most of which remain undiscovered or discarded by tourists who come only to

drink in the big city.

Before the LED-lit skyscrapers and sprawling success in trade, Hong Kong was a modest

fishing village; a place where Chinese rulers would send reprimanded officials. It underwent a

vast array of changes politically, geographically and culturally before it became the mysterious

city we like to think we know today. Known mostly as a business haven, it is a global centre of

trade and houses some of the biggest names and inventions in technology. Named the freest

capitalist economy for 15 years running, and ranked the sixth largest stock exchange in the

world, Hong Kong is one of the world’s leading financial hubs.

Of course Hong Kong is a beguiling paradise for Western businesspeople who eagerly, and

often subconsciously, lean towards the most economically booming cities in which to sort

their affairs; however this isn’t all that the Asian region offers.

Varied, exciting and accessible are three words that Joan Lee, of The Hong Kong Tourism

Board, would use to describe Hong Kong on the whole.

“Hong Kong has a lot more than meets the eye. Although the focus is on the central business

regions, there’s so much culture available in other less-known places. Hong Kong has always

had more to it than just the economy, visitors just don’t realise that the other regions are

worth seeing,”

Despite its status as a popular pit-stop for travelling students, the real Hong Kong is often

missed by those on brief excursions. It’s known as the most Western city in China, but the

bright lights, businessmen and downtown glamour aren’t its superlative assets. So where can

you find the ‘real’ Far East?

Navigate your way to Tai Po and find what some describe as the essence of Hong Kong.

Tightly packed pavements, sleepy promenade stalls and steam-filled eateries wafting scents

only ever captured in fantastic reveries; this is any culture-junkie’s dream. Surprisingly, even

in this teeming part of the city, everything is organised and safe, just without the granite

surfaces and squeaky clean 5 star lobbies found in Central. Tai Po is an area in the New

W

TRAVEL

Territories of Hong Kong, and is known for its traditional market towns. Food-lovers flock to

Tai Po Hui Market regularly, not only to buy their weekly food, but also to completely indulge

their senses; from the aroma of fresh duck, sliced straight from the bone to the visual treat of

every vegetable imaginable covering the shabby wooden tables. Tai Po is a melting pot of both

old and new, many inhabitants of Tai Po are of Hakka origin, as immigrants chose the area as

one of the destinations in which to settle in the 1970’s. Among the Hakka population, and the

traditional Chinese residents, Tai Po also finds itself accommodating those of the Han ethnic

group. This mix of South Asian cultures and origins makes the street aesthetics of this old

region even more enriching than other areas of Hong Kong.

There is a world away from the bustling metropolitan; a world in which the eldest generations

of Hong Kong have lived all of their lives. With dusty streets, brittle sky-high towers of old and

beaten flats, and a quiet never found in the frantic centre, this is the origin of Hong Kong that

is often forgotten. Don’t be fooled into thinking that Hong Kong has become a money-

obsessed competitor, with little regard for its people though. These smaller districts of Hong

Kong that border the lively core are all about the community. Where children play and elderly

friends sit and chat on benches that circle their restrictive flats, these residential areas remind

visitors that Hong Kong’s foundations are constructed from of one of the most traditional and

respectful cultures existing today.

The aged shops that inconsistently line the suburban streets appear to contain only living

necessities, however, browsing the stores with an open mind often leads to the best finds.

Stationary, old books and strange sweet brands from Mainland China are just three categories

of forgotten paraphernalia that can be found among the basics.

Whilst the deep natural harbour, host to a myriad of ferries, junks and floating restaurants, is

a beautiful view right in the heart of the metropolis, it is not the best scenery Hong Kong has

to offer. Hong Kong consists of two contrasting parts of a city so deep and so full, that this

must be all it can hold, right? Wrong comrade, there is so much more beyond the concrete

jungle.

A pastoral Asian retreat is just a drive away. Hong Kong has been harbouring a big secret, and

it’s understandable why. It has a rural landscape that rivals that of Scotland. Surprising? Yes.

Minimal? No way. Hong Kong’s conservation isn’t just a patch of grass spurting illogically next

to a fifteen-foot skyscraper. Three quarters of Hong Kong’s land is beautiful countryside, seen

only by those who have a thirst for something more than the big city. Outside of the urban

maze lies a whole host of natural beauties; from mountains to woodland. Thanks to its curvy

coastline, Hong Kong is equipped with stunning bays, rivers and beaches. There are over 200

offshore islands, including the tourist-popular Lantau Island, home to the largest sitting

Buddha. The journey across to Lantau is just as mesmerising as the island itself, riding high

above the hilly rises and crooked pathways in a string of pod-like cable cars.

Elsie Tsang, of the AFCD [Agriculture, Fisheries & Conservation Department, Government

HK] says that more recently tourists are asking about Hong Kong’s rural regions, and have

become curious about this unspoilt land.

“The Hong Kong Tourism Board have started to promote our countryside areas more these days,

as they’ve found that not only is a countryside escape something that tourists want generally,

they are also drawn to the uniqueness of finding that kind of environment in Hong Kong. Some

cannot believe that there are countryside retreats in one of the most densely populated areas of

the world.”

The Sai Kung Peninsula is where Mother Nature works most of her magic. The whole region is

a 7,500 hectare country park. Shadowing the marked trails through the grasslands, a traveller

will stumble across an array of unexpected treats. From the magnificent coastal formations

[due to the peninsula’s volcanic history] to the multitude of bird species, roaming and resting

in the unpolluted country air, these grounds offer more than could ever be expected from the

economic conurbation. More than just a grassy hillside, the peninsula plays host to an

assortment of hiking trails and aquatic activities such as kayaking and scuba diving around the

panoramic coastline. Catering to the travellers who revel in absorbing the scenic terrain, there

are specific maps, trails and information booklets available so that no journey into the great

unknown is bewildering; unless of course, that is exactly what you’re in search of.

With only the scenic vistas and sea breeze to answer you, there are no traces of urbanised

developments or crass holiday-maker establishments in this part of Hong Kong. The hills of

Dartmoor might be expansive, but do they boast over 1,000 species of plants? Hong Kong wins

hands down. Forty percent of Hong Kong’s hilly terrain is reserved as country park land,

complete with plants, wildlife and beaches that run for miles. The flower on Hong Kong’s flag

was not chosen irrelevantly; the flower of the Bauhinia is planted widely in the grassy depths

of Hong Kong, and is by far of the finest genus in the world.

Dr Martin Williams, writer and photographer has lived in Hong Kong for 22 years, and written

many articles and books about Hong Kong for a variety of publications. He also runs a website,

[www.hkoutdoors.com] which provides information about the options available to those who

want something a little earthier from Hong Kong. He is well-acquainted with Hong Kong’s

great outdoors, claiming, “as well as enjoying the city, you can discover rugged hills, hiking

trails criss-crossing country parks, an internationally renowned wetland, waterfalls in secluded

ravines, fine places to eat in gorgeous surroundings and islands set in the South China Sea”

Dr Williams says of his website, “a key goal of Hong Kong Outdoors is introducing some of our

great places outside the city - both to overseas visitors, and to local people - many of whom seem

to know rather little re rural HK,”

A village-turned-town that has existed in one capacity or another since the fourteenth

century, Tai Wai is not known for its lively temperament but rather its permanent subsistence.

On hearing about the modest town, it does not appear to have anything worthy of a visit, but

that is where the word of mouth is misinformed. The Lion Rock Country Park is something of

a rural sanctuary, home to the famous Mong Fu Shek [Amah Rock]. In emblematic Chinese

style, the rock preserves the legend of a woman carrying a child on her back, waiting for her

husband to return from fishing. When he does not return, she is turned into stone.

Incorporated into the traditions of today, many women make a pilgrimage to the reputable

rock during the annual Maiden’s Festival.

The transition from busy metropolitan life to peaceful nature trail can occur within the space

of a few metres, as cycle paths leading through the countryside begin just outside of Tai Wai

KTR station. It is Hong Kong’s uniqueness that allows this. Unlike any other city, it creates a

synergy combining the modern bustling culture with the vast countryside landscapes, erasing

any preconceptions that Hong Kong is just for adults with business heads and bottomless

wallets.

For it’s wide selection of themes and aesthetics Hong Kong only ever evokes one atmosphere;

and that is one of a traditional busy working lifestyle, filled with hospitality and warmth.

Whether it’s the rusted signs slotted unevenly between flashing lights, the swanky air-

conditioned revolving restaurants or the absolute Zen amongst the hills, the Pearl of the

Orient, as it is sometimes called, is a haven for new adventurers to discover and old

acquaintances to revive.

Hong Kong still has demons to face though; we can only wait and wonder what the year of the

Rabbit will bring...

Traditionally cheesy chat-up lines are viewed as dating suicide but a recent survey by

online casino MrGreen.com clais that 64 per cent of women are actually suckers for a

bad opening gambit. Guest blogger SARAH KWONG reveals how she shudders (sort

of) at the thought of a bad line…

For most of the last decade, perhaps even longer, in clubs all over the world, men have tried awful

chat-up lines and women have walked away, feeling disgusted.

We roll our eyes, sigh, and maybe give you a middle finger, bored of being approached so

pathetically - but apparently fellas, this is all a bit of a front. In fact a recent survey suggests that

ladies secretly appreciate the tack factor as it shows an attractive sense of humour.

This revelation left me baffled. Since I’ve been old enough to enter the hideous, dog-eat-dog world

of public alcohol consumption, I have eschewed all chat-up lines, for two main reasons:

1. I will never, ever be tired from ‘running through your mind all day’. I am, however, tired of this question

frequently coming up. Please stop asking.

2. If you can’t break the ice by saying something relevant [no, mister, ‘nice dress, it would look great on my

bedroom floor’ is not relevant] then I can only imagine how appalling a ‘normal’ conversation over coffee

would be.

But am I being too harsh? Cringe factor aside, when presented in an ironic, laugh-at-self manner, a

silly, cheeky retort might be slightly attractive, I suppose? A chat-up line provides an instant ego-

boost and no matter how awful his tank top/best line is, full kudos to the chaps for actually doing the

approaching.

Fine, fresh, fierce females control firearms in the Middle East, do manual labour and perform intense

surgery; yet we can still struggle to take the reins with men. Like an awkward silence, tradition

always lingers. This is great in terms of Aunt Bessies on your Sunday roast, but not so great in terms

of dating. Women still find it tricky to make the first move, and either want, need or expect the guy

to be the instigator.

I used to be like that until I set myself the challenge of being ‘a guy for a day’. Although I drew the

line at actually dressing up as one, I decided to adapt the fearless gutsiness of an Alpha Male and

approached an unknown guy with gusto. After eyeing up a hot guy at a gig a few months previously, I

found him on Facebook (the 21st century way of seeking a male), sent him a random message and

later, by coincidence (honest!) bumped into him in a club. It was the

OPINION

perfect opportunity and I even asked for his number when he walked me home at the end of the

night. He is now my boyfriend.

Admittedly, he calls me Stalks (um, that’s short for…stalker) but the pet-name, and our relationship

was definitely worth the nervous, slightly vom feeling I encountered before approaching. And a little

secret? He said that had I not made the moves, he would’ve been too shy to have approached me.

So my parallel un-gutsy life would have seen me sat at home making lists of my top five boybands and

eating Weetabix in my pants. Alone.

So next time you’re chatted up (whether it’s the old faithful ‘Grab your coat…’ or perhaps that

lesser-known beauty ‘Here’s 20p, call your mum and tell her you won’t be home tonight…’) don’t

deny yourself the guilty pleasure of a cheap chat-up. Even better, put yourself in the guy’s shoes,

then steal his line.

Women have always been superior at DIY, and as I’ve found, dating is just easier when you do it

yourself.

To read more of Sarah’s blogs visit www.s-is-for-super.blogspot.com

So what’s the worst chat-up line you’ve ever heard?

OPINION

How to Deal with Bad Gig Etiquette

Whether it’s a sweaty cave with crowd-surfers galore or a glittering arena with merchandise the price of

your car, everyone loves a good gig. However, in the frenzy, nobody ever really thinks about the concert

cons.

Here’s a list of things that will almost definitely happen to you at a gig, and how to react:

1) Someone will jump the queue and push in front of you to stand with their 'mate' [aka someone they met

briefly 10 years ago: "Dave, isn't it?" "Sebastian actually." "Yeah Seb man!"] People in the queue will look at

each other disapprovingly in the hope that the pusher-inners will see that they've annoyed the crowd. Join

in with the tutting and head-shaking, you don’t want to get on the wrong side of the masses.

2) The squeaky girl in front of you in the queue will do your nut in. She will lecture her friends in a loud

‘Rachel Berry’ manner to “Focus guys, FOCUS”. Focus on what love? The queue not moving at all? Decide

who you dislike most in the queue and then make it your mission to stop them from getting in before you.

Do not let Squeaky in front of you, you will only end up stood behind her at the gig.

3) You'll be happy with your standing arrangement and the heights of those around you during the support

act, alas it is precisely when the main act comes on stage that there is a person-shuffle and someone blocks

your view. Britain‘s Tallest Man WILL be there, it is guaranteed. Try to angle for a better view, and maybe

give a little friendly nudge in the process, he might get the hint.

4) During the gig people will push past you to leave. This could be due to a toilet stop or feeling feint, but

everyone looks in disgust and pretends to move. It's a tiny sway backwards on your heels, which you can

over-exaggerate as if you're doing them a massive favour, but really you don’t move an inch. Great little

number if you want to keep your view.

5) You will be forced to make banter with an idiot nearby, for example a ’lad’ with his girlfriend and a

Dandy Dan grin who thinks he’s the dogs genitalia. You will also be alarmed by someone nearby such as

MUSIC

a middle aged man in business attire swaying left to right gleefully like an elated child throughout

the main act. In both circumstances, laugh even if they don’t make a joke. Your excuse? You’re just

SO excited.

But when the main act comes on stage and you forget that your knees won't bend and the arches in

your feet have eroded away, you get over the frustrations. You’re a unit after all, cheering together,

giving it the old’ ‘woop woop!’ treatment.

That's until it's all over and you're queuing to leave. And when that happens, the initial frustrations

return. Don't mind me mate, I'm only getting stabbed in the side by the ridiculous bling buckles on

that River Island bag your missus is pushing with. Carry on.

Gigs, eh.

John Mayer: Man, Musician, Human

On the UK tour of his newest album Battle Studies, John Mayer filled every

heart, every ear drum and every break-up void of each member stood

expectantly in the audience.

Though only slightly appreciated in Britain, John is something of a successful maverick in the

US, boasting fashion design, journalism, stand-up comedy and charity work projects alongside

his indubitable musical talents. Bringing his deeply complicated soul to Britain was a risk in

itself, he is known here mostly for his frequent appearances in gossip magazines, next to the a-

list names Jessica Simpson and Jennifer Aniston.

His on-stage persona did not reflect the neurotic, womaniser that John had been portrayed to

be in American magazine The Enquirer for months on end. In true self-deprecating, yet

emotionally weary John style, he acknowledged that he is known more for his personal life

than for his musical abilities, stating “I’m not going to talk anymore as it will overshadow the

fact that I actually f*****g play the guitar”.

And that he did, beautifully. Dressed smart-casual, his appearance was a combination of the

John we know and love, and a refreshed, matured John that hadn’t quite had his debut yet.

Upon hearing the initial shimmering guitar riff of Heartbreak Warfare, the first song from

Battle Studies, a room full of knowing bodies drew in breath and expressions varied from

relieved to euphoric.

A gift John was able to give the audience was the exposure of his illustrated arms, when he

finally removed his sincere black jumper to reveal his signature black wife beater. And so, off

with the jumper meant off with the protective nervous-mechanism he had equipped himself

with. This was when the true John, behind any facade emerged.

From then on, he revelled in the beauty of the situation. Chatting in a typically over-share

kind of way and serenading the room with beautifully sharp guitar lines, John’s character

could not be mistaken. His mellow contemporary rock tones sent the audience into a plethora

of states; the variation in personal gain from his music clearer than ever before.

MUSIC

Unlike other gigs, the audience did not differentiate between the unfamiliar newness of the

Battle Studies songs and the older, forever-popular tunes he played. It was not a belated

feeling of joy that arrived upon hearing Why Georgia [taken from his first album, Room for

Squares], but instead a response similar to the impressive welcome given to Perfectly Lonely,

an upbeat, relatable sound on Battle Studies. In the two hours of sweat, sounds and sailing

away on poignant lyrics, the release date and popularity of his albums meant nothing, and the

audience embraced whichever song or medley he graced them with. Old classics such as No

Such Thing, Vultures and Neon merged effortlessly with newer arrivals Who Says and Friends,

Lovers or Nothing.

Then something happened; a moment so sincere and so honestly moving, that the crowd fell

into a genuine pin-drop silence. Standing in front of the microphone, vulnerability the only

thing about him, he said, “You know when you’re in bed, just with yourself, and you’re forced

to think about whether you’re comfortable with yourself and who you are at the end of day?

This next song is about that moment where you’re lying in the dark and you ask yourself, am I

doing okay? I can goof around with everything else, but this song, I just can’t bull**** it. This

song saved my life”. Cue the soft background singers, and slow melodic drums, introducing

the hypnotic, bluesy guitar riff of Continuum album favourite ‘Gravity’.

Following this he allowed each band member to ‘jam’, giving them stage space and concert

time to freestyle and improvise with their instruments, revealing John’s deep-rooted passion

for the technicalities of music as a whole and his hope that the audience would share that

passion.

Any preconceptions that people may have had about the talented 32-year-old were torn away

by the end of the concert, due to his constant thank you’s and appreciation. He might have

bedded a handful of celebrity females, he may have said the wrong thing on live TV a few

times, but there is something about him that the fans cannot fault; he is 100%, no doubt about

it, absolutely human. No costume disguise, no flawless media portrayal, no diva demands.

How refreshing in today’s music industry.

Dim Sum Delight

As a half Chinese citizen, Sarah Kwong has been to her fair share of Chinese

restaurants. From low-lit, dingy basement venues with Triad-characters lining the tables,

to ostentatious richly decorated dining rooms, complete with chandeliers and other

Oriental paraphernalia, she has indeed ‘seen it all’.

I arrived at Kam’s Palace, Fareham roughly around 1pm, perfect time for dim sum. The

grandiose archway and authentic ‘palace’ exterior already revealed that this restaurant

would veer more towards the classic restaurant than the dodgy underground haunts I

had always felt uneasy about.

Dim sum is the ultimate taste tester. Traditional Chinese cuisine, the kind you find on

takeaway menus that fall on your doormat, is less determined by quality. It is universally

known that the real Chinese food, found in home grown Hong Kong & China, is a cut

above the greasy, gluco-sugared cuisine we know as Chinese here. It would be

expected that Dim Sum would follow suit, but having experienced Dim Sum in both

countries, I’m not so sure. Chinatown is most people’s first port of call when it comes to

authentic Cantonese delights in England, but with open minds and the hearsay of great

reviews playing in our minds, Kam’s Palace seemed like a worthy experiment.

After being seated [regrettably not at one of those huge tables with the spinning glass

centre, little did they know that we were aiming to order in abundance], it was apparent

that 90% of the diners were Chinese. There were a few Western faces paving the sides

of the restaurant but other than that, the Chinese families comfortably filled the seats.

Traditionally, Chinese parents often take their children for Dim Sum on a Sunday to

socialise with their grandparents. This tradition was definitely alive and kicking in Kam’s.

The interior was affluent, welcoming and impressive all at once. The deep reds and flicks

of gold that ran along the walls and pillars provided us with the authenticity we had

hoped for. My friends were convinced, equally as I, that we could’ve been in China,

sitting beneath luxury air conditioning, having a usual Sunday Dim sum before bracing

the humid outdoors. Comfortable and in his element, my full Chinese friend grabbed the

laminated menu and ordered for us, fluent Chinese conversation filling the air.

FOOD

Dim sum is eaten in replacement of breakfast. My fellow diners didn’t quite listen when I

said not to have breakfast, which explains their struggle nearing the end of the meal - it’s

amazing how stuffed a bowl of Crunchy Nut can make you feel. Dim sum is served

between morning and noon; the perfect brunch. The dishes come in small portions, and

consist of meats, vegetables and seafood; wrapped up and arranged in different

formats. In true Chinese style, each item was aesthetically stunning, without housing any

of that pretentious white plate minimalism found in most upmarket restaurants in Britain.

Bowls, tiny cups of Chinese tea; this was the real deal. They weren’t lying when they

said that good things come in threes; for each of our Dim sum orders arrived in sets of

three under the lid of the steamer basket.

Thickly wrapped dumplings encasing a variety of delights from peanuts to pork, seafood

surprises nestling in lightly glazed battered oval shapes; dim sum requires culinary skill

and an eye for aesthetics. Kam’s Palace did not disappoint, dish after dish fulfilled our

palettes and our hearts. A personal favourite, char siu bauu delivered in texture, taste

and tone. Sweet cooked pork bundled into the heart of a delicate white bun; it is a usual

choice for any dim sum diners, which makes it a challenge for the talented chefs behind

the scenes to cook it to perfection. The fluffy texture of the steamed bun accompanied

the small, digestible portion of barbecued pork filling; it definitely made the Top 5 list that

had been compiled from day one of my dim sum experiences.

The whole experience took me back to the crowded restaurants in Hong Kong, whereby

loud chatter would take the place of background music and every dish arrived piping hot,

to perfection. Kam’s was more than I had anticipated; letting me relive memories of

meals with the family and reminding me of times in my second home. Kam’s is my new

favourite place; after all, home is where the heart is.