creating more happiness and better relationships through ......stumbling on happiness money, power...
TRANSCRIPT
Harnessing the Power of Kindness and
Gratitude to Build Better Relationships at Work and in Your Personal Life
BY DAVID SECKMAN
Stumbling on Happiness
Money, Power and Prestige don’t make us happy
Relationships and Experiences make us happy
The Hedonic Treadmill
Kindness and Gratitude Help Break
Through The Happiness Set-point
Kindness and Gratitude
Break Through the Happiness Set-Point and Step off
the Hedonic Treadmill
Keys to creating dynamic teams, stronger relationships, and outstanding customer loyalty.
The Science Of Gratitude
Over 75 research studies have been done on
Gratitude and growing all the time
At least 31 benefits attributed to Gratitude
The Science Of Gratitude
Benefits of Gratitude Include: More progress
towards your personal goals, less symptoms of
illness and depression, more energy, and better
sleep.
Gratitude and FMRI Technology
Regions of the brain associated with empathy,
compassion, and happiness
Feeling the emotion of gratitude also releases
Dopamine to the brain.
The Science of Kindness
Kindness can be learned
Kindness is Contagious
Kindness increases Energy,The Love Hormone, Happiness,
Lifespan, Pleasure
The Science of Kindness
Kindness Decreases: Pain, Stress, Anxiety,
Depression and Blood Pressure.
What is Kind Communication?
Kind Communication focusses on strengths.
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BY-NC-ND
What Kind Communication is Not
Kind Communication Doesn’t ignore problems
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What Kind Communication is Not
Kind Communication is not Door Mat
Communication
What is Kind Communication?
Kind Communication is respectful communication
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licensed under CC BY-SA
What is Kind Communication?
Kind Communication is fun communication
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CC BY-NC-ND
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-SA-NC
Kind Communication
Why is it Critical to our Relationships?
Our emotions are Contagious Mirror Neurons
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Author is licensed under CC
BY-ND
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-
NC-ND
The 10/5 Way
Franchised by the Ritz-Carlton Hotel Chain
If you are 10 feet or less from a customer or co-worker you need to
make eye contact and smile
If you are five feet or less you need to make eye contact smile and
greet the co-worker or customer
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under CC BY-ND
The Negativity Bias
The Negative Emotions tend to last longer and
effect us strong than the positive Emotions.
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under CC BY-SA
Where Does the Negativity Bias Come
From?
The World was a much more dangerous place than it is now
Our ancient ancestors were always on the lookout for threats
Advantageous because “you could live to fight another day”
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licensed under CC BY
The Problem with the Negativity Bias
Our culture rewards innovation and creativity
It is very difficult be creative and in the negative mindset
Positive emotions broaden our perspective negative emotions
narrow our vision
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Author is licensed under CC
BY-SA-NC
How do You Counteract the
Negativity Bias at Work?
You need to have many more positive comments than
negative comments to balance things out
How do You Counteract the
Negativity Bias at Work?
Take time out to celebrate your team successes
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The Negativity Bias Also Applies to our
Personal Lives
Dr. John Gottman claims you need to have 5 positive
comments to counteract just one negative comment in
our personal relations
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND
This Photo by Unknown
Author is
licensed
under CC
BY-SA
This Photo by Unknown Author is licensed under CC BY-NC
What is the Key to Dynamic teams?
Psychological Safety- a belief that one will not be
punished or humiliated for speaking up with ideas,
questions, concerns or mistakes
Expressions That Create Safety
You might not realize this but….
You probably already know this but…..
Contrasting statements. I don’t want or intend …. I
do want or intend
Effects of Writing in a Gratitude Journal
Best Practices For Writing in a
Gratitude Journal
Be specific
Surprise
Scarcity
Near misses
Adopted from Gratitude Works: a 21 day program for creating emotional prosperity by Dr. Robert Emmons
Make Writing in a Gratitude Journal a
Habit
Do it the same day and time
Pick a time of day where you don’t feel rushed
Use a notebook that you only use for writing a
gratitude journal
Make sure a pen or pencil is permanently attached
to your notebook
The Benefits of Practicing the Loving
Kindness Meditation
Well-Being
Social Connection
Decreases your bias towards others
Self-Love
Immediate and long term impact
Einstein on Compassion
“A human being is a part of the whole called by us
universe, a part limited in time and space. He
experiences himself, his thoughts and feeling as
something separated from the rest, a kind of optical
delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind
of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires
and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our
task must be to free ourselves from this prison by
widening our circle of compassion to embrace all
living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”
The Gratitude Letter
Write a Gratitude Letter to someone who has had a
profound impact on life but you haven’t taken the
opportunity to properly thank.
Studies at Indiana University and UC Berkley documented changes in the brain associated with
happiness, empathy, and compassion 3 months
after writing a gratitude letter.
Questions?/Stay Connected
Connect with me on Facebook search kindness
and gratitude everyday
Visit my webpage at:
www.kindnessandgratitudeeveryday.com
World Peace?