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THE LADDER OF MANHOOD
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Jeff PereraCommunity Engagement Manager
[email protected] : @jeffperera
white ribbon
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Conversations we need to have
with men, young men
and boys
whiteribbon.ca
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Key to Success?Idea of Self
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Ideas of who we can
or can’t be.
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Explore through the lens of Gender
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“If we want to create safe learning
environments, we need to take a hard look at how power disparities influence who
feels safe and who doesn’t – and how we can challenge those power disparities as
educators, parents, colleagues, fellow students, and fellow human beings.
- Steph Guthrie
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca
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@WhiteRibbon@JeffPerera
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Questions Not
Answers
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What is your
dream?
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How does your
Gender impact your
dream?
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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www.whiteribbon.ca@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera
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Who are you in
this picture?
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca
“Good teams have good players. Great teams have great teammates.”
- Roy Rana
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Reality
For
Women
And
Girls
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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More than 1000 Aboriginal Women have been murdered, are missing or feared dead...
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
“Being a woman or girl online, is like being in a dark alley”
– Ramona Pringle
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By the age of 12, 1 in 4 girls will
experience street
harassment in the form of unwanted
attention in public.
By the age of 19 that number is
nearly 90 percent.
From ‘Street Harassment: Every Women’s War” by Ebony Magazine’s Kristin Braswell
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Role and Responsibility vs.
‘Blame and Shame’
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.caLabels
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What does it mean to be a girl?
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Courageous vs. Conscientiousness
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Sugar and Spice:What a girl ‘can and can’t be’
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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What does it mean to be a boy?
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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ToughAggressive
Not EmotionalSmart
Keep in inside
StrongKnows all about Sex
“Be A Man”In control
Can take itTake charge
Capable
HardPush people around
Don’t back downDon’t Cry
Emotional, Soft, Weak, Have feelings, Vulnerable,
Cry, Need help, Expressive, Passive …feminine.
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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The Ladder of Manhood
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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What do you like or dislike
about identifying as a
specific gender?
white ribbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Boys
What do you like or not like about being a boy?
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Identity
@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera
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Growing Up: Ascent or
Descent into
Manhood?
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Created Ideas of Manhood
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DOWN HAPPY EXCITED DEPRESSED LOVING TENDER RELIEVED PERKY FRIGHTENED OPTIMISTIC DOWN
SYMPATHETIC FASCINATED JOYFULANXIOUS DEJECTED SOFT LOVING
RESENTFUL VITALITY HOPE PATIENT CHEERFUL FEAR CONFIDENCE SHAME
HAPPY PANIC ASTONISHED TRUST ASHAMED ENVY APPRECIATION
ELATION OFFENDED DETERMINED
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Men and Mental Health
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Men with disabilities
Avatar’s Jake Sully
‘damaged goods’ ‘not beautiful’
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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What does
‘being a man’
look like
for students
in their school,
in their community?
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The Performance of Masculinity
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whiteribbon.ca#WhatMakesAManUTSC @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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The Greatest Insult
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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LA Lakers rookies Tarik Black and Jordan Clarkson with fake baby.
(They have to wear pink
backpacks and push the strollers
to games all season)
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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...are a big part of the problem.
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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www.whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Power and Privilege
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whiteribbon.ca#WhatMakesAManUTSC @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Pretending
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Not having power only heightens masculine insecurities.
If manhood is about power and control, not being powerful means you are not a man.
Again, violence becomes a means to prove otherwise to yourself
and others”
-Michael Kaufman
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code of the boardroom
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@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca
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superhero zero
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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…to have and to holddoes not mean
to have and hold down
- Lishai Peel
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Women and Girls as rungs
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In a hyper masculine world, you see people as tools. Now I see them as family.
- Terry Crews
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Ideas of Gender enforced by society
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera
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“Homophobia and Transphobia
isViolence Against
Women”
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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violence
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This issue affects us all
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“It’s an important moment for mento look at themselves and decide
who they want to be in this world.”
- Hannah Markham
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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B L U E P R I N T S F O R C H A N G E
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Inspiring male-identified
brothers, fathers, sons,
husbands, co-workers. friends
and romantic partners to
embrace how they can
be a part of change.
White Ribbon is the world’s
largest grassroots effort
engaging men and boys
to redefine masculinity and
help end gender-based
violence.
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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19911993200020052007+
Growth of the WRC
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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“Always have a dream that will last beyond
your lifetime”Jack Layton
co-founder of the White Ribbon Campaign
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Wearing a White Ribbon is a personal pledge to never
commit, condone or remain silent about violence against
women and girls.
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Wearing a white ribbon is a way of saying, “Our future
has no violence against women.”
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StrengthBased Approach
to Engaging Men
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www.whiteribbon.ca
Engaging Boys and Men in
Ending Violence Against
Women – A Life Cycle
Approach
White Ribbon Campaign
University & College Students
Facilitators of WR Clubs
Mentors and role models
WRC campus & community
organizers
Peer educators, engaged
bystanders
High School Students
(grades 9-12)
White Ribbon Clubs
Common Ground Conferences (with Boys &
Girls) Youth Education and Action Kit
Peer & Near Peer Educators
Elementary Students
(grades 7-8)
Boys Conferences
Youth Education and Action Kit
Campaign in a Box
Adults
It Starts With You, Facilitators of WR
Clubs Parents, teachers, mentors,
volunteers, community leaders & role
models WRC community organizers &
supporters Peer educators, engaged
bystanders
The WRC Lifecycle Approach – An Example
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The fundamental question has shifted
from “why” we should work with men and boys, to “how” we work
with men and boys.
www.whiteribbon.ca/issuebrief
whiteribbon.ca
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White Ribbon held an Ontario Men’s Attitudinal Survey on
Violence Against Women
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The findings show that 94% of men in Ontario believe violence against
women and girls is a concern to them
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87% think violence against women and girls affects all women including
the women in their life.
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97% agree that they can personally make a difference in promoting healthy,
respectful, non-violent relationships
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How to Be An Ally?
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Raising our awareness
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Examine your own actions,
attitudes and
behaviour…
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Being A Role Model
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Peer motivation is a powerful force for men.
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February 2010whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca
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Speaking in a Language of Consent
@WhiteRibbon @jeffperera
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@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca
Consent starts before you even interact with someone.
It starts internally with exploring your wants,
motivations and intentions.
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@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca
Research suggests that the strongest influence on men’s
behavior is other men
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Give Love Get Love:Involved
Fatherhood
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Coaches & Leaders
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It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.
It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.
It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change. It takes individual acts of courage and leadership to defy injustice and inspire change.
Shifting the culture and climate
@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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But I’m a good guy!
@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Who do you want to be in this picture?
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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Even if we taught every woman in the world to defend themselves, why would we ever accept a world in which they have to.
- @ElliottBayev
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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OPEN THE DOOR TO THE CONVERSATIONOpen the door to a continuous ongoing conversation. Boys have questions and it doesn't stop growing into adulthood. Open up pathways for conversation and consciousness
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full spectrumof
Your Self
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a Conversation
of us.
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being assertiveness and ambitiousness isnot a masculine
trait
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love, kindness and emotional literacy
is not a femininetrait
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let’s work towards a change that affects us all.
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There is help. No one deserves to live with violence.
Look for emergency or distress services in the front of your local
phone book
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@jeffperera @WhiteRibbonwhiteribbon.ca
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whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon
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www.whatmakesaman.org
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Keep the conversation going.
whiteribbon.ca @jeffperera @WhiteRibbon