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Lesson # R7 Destructive Language Time: 50 minutes

OverviewDestructive Language is one of nine Risk Factors that deter youth from reaching their dreams. Destructive language includes more than cursing or swearing. Destructive Language includes all vocabulary or verbal expression (that might not be tied to specific words), and it includes all styles of discourse that hurt, harm, or demean another person or group of individuals. Destructive Language is not as easily eliminated from an environment because it is more than changing one’s vocabulary— it is about changing how we view and engage with one another. Adults often respond to the vocabulary with, “That wasn’t nice, Jose”, or “Stop that!”. While such responses may stop the language in the moment, they fail to bring about an internal change by acknowledging the negative power of these words. Once youth see this power, they’re also taught about the flip-side — the way in which constructive language helps them build their “Social Skills” and “Positive Relationships” which are two indicators of thriving.

This lesson teaches youth that destructive language is often used when we don’t understand another person’s perspective, or when we feel misunderstood, insecure, hurt, or threatened in some way.

Once a full understanding of the power and use of destructive language has been achieved, youth are much more likely to want to create a “safe” classroom.

Goals1. Define and understand the power of destructive language, as a risk factor to thriving. 2. Recognize how destructive language relates to Dream Thieves and impacts path towards achieving dreams.3. Build motivation and identify strategies to replace Destructive Language with constructive language – an aspect of the thriving

indicators “Social Skills” and “Positive Relationships”.

Last Updated: 1/18/12 R7: Destructive Language 1

Anchor Vocabulary Destructive Language - any words used to hurt, harm or demean another individual. Positive Relationships – mutual connection that includes trust, resolving conflicts in a respectful manner, caring and

communication. You treat others in the way that you want to be treated. Social Skills – includes knowing how to interact with people of different ages and walks of life, including those in need or

those causing problems. They are demonstrated through body language and eye contact and by what you say or don’t say.

Materials & Media Index cards Butcher paper with the outline of a man drawn on it in marker Blank butcher paper (for word wall) Tape (to hang paper on wall) Markers Risk Factors Wheel Thriving Indicators Wheel

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Lesson Outline Lesson Description

ENROLL(5 min)

Welcome

Quote: Do you believe it?

Quote written on board or flipchart. Facilitator greets youth as they arrive, encouraging a sense of belonging.

Quote: “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.” - unknown(Note to facilitator: This lesson will dispel this quote as not true. Start off with it to promote critical thinking about whether or not youth believe it.)Say: Decide whether this quote is something to live by or not. Our lesson today is about

Destructive Language that is one of the 9 risk factors that interfere with you being all you can be (thriving).

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LEARN & LABEL(5 min)

Establish guidelines

Definition

Youth examples

Establish GuidelinesSay: It’s important to establish guidelines for today’s conversation, as we will be using words

that are not allowed on campus. In order to do this well, we need to agree to the following:1. Language should not be directed to any one individual in this room.2. If you have something to say about another student’s view, please wait your turn and

direct the comment at the facilitator, beginning with “I feel…”3. What you see or hear here, stays here when you leave. Let’s agree not to use what other

youth say against them, or tease them about it, in or out of the classroom. Does anyone have any other guidelines they want to add?

Facilitator writes the definition of Destructive Language on a flipchart or board.Ask: Will someone read the definition out loud?Say: This does not just mean cursing about something. Rather, this means using any language

that would be hurtful to another person.” (For example, “Damn, I stubbed my toe” is not demeaning to another individual.)

Curse words can be destructive language when they are used to hurt, harm or demean someone.

Following today’s guidelines, give me examples of destructive language. (Examples might include: you’re fat, stupid, you’ll never be anything, you’re just like your daddy, you’re going to end up like… etc.)The group creates a list of expressions or words that are used to hurt harm or demean others. All words and phrases are acceptable.

EXPERIENCE(20 min)

Index card Activity:Examples of personal events

Facilitator distributes index cards to youth.Destructive language towards you.Say: On one side of the card, write a time when someone used destructive language towards

you. Write the specifics of the event, including the word(s) used and a brief description of the

event. Don’t use names of any individuals.

Destructive language you used towards another.Say:


Crinkled Man Exercise

Once finished flip over your card and write a time when you used destructive language towards someone else.

Again, write specifics of the event, including the word(s) used and a brief description.

Facilitator collects the cards, and reads cards aloud (anonymously).Say: I’m collecting the cards and reading them anonymously. Listen quietly, paying attention to

the Destructive Language used in each situation.

The Crinkled Man Exercise The next activity will help us see the negative power of Destructive Language, and how it

impacts you and others.

Facilitator hangs the butcher paper of the man (or woman) at the front of the classroom.Say: Come forward, one at a time, and write the word most painful to you on the man (woman),

then return to your seat. Stay very quiet and feel your emotion until everyone has come forward.

After each word written, the facilitator reads the word aloud and crumples the area where the word was written. Repeat this step for each word. (In the end, the paper person will be crinkled into a ball, from the places the facilitator crinkled after youth wrote words that had hurt them.)

Say when finished: Let’s step back and collectively look at the crinkled man on the wall. I can try to “un-crinkle” or “apologize” to the person, but the crinkles still show. (Facilitator demonstrates.) This is because words make can make an indelible mark on the soul…even when words are

“taken back” or the man is “un-crinkled”.

DEMONSTRATE(15 min)

Youth identify feelings & effect of

Facilitator encourages a discussion about the activity, helping youth identify their own feelings, as well as the effect Destructive Language has on a group.#1: Take time to compare and contrast destructive and constructive language.


Destructive Language.

It’s in the way of dreams

Thriving Wheel

#2: Highlight the power of positive language on individuals, classrooms, schools and community activities.

Consider leading with these questions.Ask: How might the crinkled person respond to a negative interaction with a family member or

friend? Why do people use Destructive Language? How is Destructive Language related to Dream Thieves? How might your use of Destructive Language deter you from working towards your

dreams? When someone uses Destructive Language towards you, how can you respond differently? While we cannot control all environments, we can commit to controlling the settings we

are in (home, classroom, club, sport) making it a safe community for learning. How do we do this?

Brainstorm constructive wordsSay: Let’s brainstorm words that are constructive - words that build people up rather then tear

them down. Make a word wall of constructive, encouraging words that give life, use a growth mindset,

and add to people’s sparks.

Ask: Where do these constructive words fit on the Thriving Indictors Wheel?

(Answer: Positive Relationships with communication, caring, conflict-resolution, treating others the way you want to be treated; Social Skills with interacting with people who are different from you. This is “demonstrated by what you say and don’t say”.)

REFLECTION(5 min)

Agreement on Destructive- Language Free Zone

Say: Let’s agree on how our setting here will remain free from destructive language.Ask: What will be done when a student slips and uses Destructive Language?

(Remind youth to apply growth mindset – it takes practice and learning from mistakes to


move from using destructive to constructive language consistently!)

Facilitator leaves Crinkle Man and word wall up if possible as a reminder of commitment. Facilitator refers back to these from time to time, praising youth for use of “constructive” language and raising awareness when Destructive Language is used.

The point is to help youth see the impact of Destructive Language.

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Developed by L.I.P with support from Thrive Foundation for Youth. Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommerial-Share Alike 3.0. U.S. License. 2010. This document can be shared and adapted by users for educational, non-commercial purposes.


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