finding your voice in the face of positive and negative criticism – or how to be assertive in a...
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Finding your voice in the face of positive and negative criticism
– or how to be assertive in a workplace environment (Conflict Management 1)
… alternatively …
How to be assertive without being a jerk
(or a sook)
Possible with practice
‘Assertiveness’• The ability to overcome
one’s shyness and inhibitions so that it is possible to state clearly and positively one’s wishes or opinions
Macquarie Dictionary 5th Edition
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‘Assertiveness’• Assumes • communicating and
cooperating with others• respect for boundaries• a desire to prevent escalation
• It is not• aggressive behaviour• submissive behaviour
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Techniques• Broken Record
• Repetition of request or refusal
• Fogging• Limited truth in which to agree upon• Agree in Principle• Partial Agreement
• Negative Inquiry• Requesting more specific criticism
• Negative Assertion• Agreeing to disagree
• ‘I’ Statements
Manuel Smith, 1975, ‘When I say No, I feel Guilty’
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Don’t sacrifice your health
• Your head in a bucket of sand leaves other things exposed…
• Do nothing or Do something• Shrug off ‘learned helplessness’• Hope is not a part of Problem
Solving
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Know the Why
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• What’s your motivation?• What grinds your gears?• What floats your boat?
• The 5 Whys• Determines Root Cause• Cause-Effect Analysis
• Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs
Source: Facebook
Know the Why
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Know the Why
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The ‘How’ Who’s the Boss?• Know the Business
• Know the Politics• Public Sector
• Seeks surety & ‘Risk equals Threat’
• Private Sector• Prefer flexibility & ‘Risk equals
Opportunity’Leadershipification Pty Ltd © 2013
Hierarchy Organisation Matrix Organisation
Command & Control Functional & Specialist
n-1 Management Layers Outcomes-focused
Bureaucratic & Political Engagement-focused
The ‘How’ Who’s the Boss?
• Key Points of Influence• Influence ethically• Mutual respect
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The ‘How’Accountability is Key• Stay ‘On Message’
• However, remain flexible in your approach
• You & The Line in the Sand• Learn to say ‘No’
• Others & Tripwires• Learn to say ‘Thank You’
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The ‘What’Perception is Reality• ‘Like likes Like’
• ‘I’ statements• Personal feelings and wants without casting
judgments
• Be Confident• A smart turnout helps a smart performance• Body Language
• High Power Pose• Open Gestures• Mirroring• Smiling
• Script > Rehearse > Think > Speak• Listen > Reconcile > Reflect• Don’t forget to breathe
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The ‘What’Perception is Reality• Try to catch people doing
something right Blanchard and Johnson, 2004,
‘The One Minute Manager’
• Objective Feedback• What / So What / Now What• Removes gaps, ambiguity & wonder• When bounded it realigns or reinforces• Be specific
• Event and Consequences
• Focus on the ‘Now What’ • It is what it is drill down, if needed
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Summary
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Image courtesy of www.clearworth.com
WHY• Know it
HOW• Know your goal• Respect boundaries• Who do you really need
to speak to?• Be accountable
WHAT• ‘I’ Statements• Body Language• Objective feedback• Think > Speak• Listen > Reflect• Breathe
How to be assertive…
Call 1300 QIMOTA (1300 74 66 82)Email [email protected]
Visit www.qimota.com.au
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