Greek New Member Education Seminar II

President Jeffrey D. Armstrong

Greek New Member Education Seminar II

True Colors

Bystander Intervention

Geneva LichtChristina Kaviani

Socialization of Sexual Violence

The 5 norms

1. Power over others

2. Violence is okay

3. “Boys will be boys”

4. Objectification of women

5. Silence

The Gender Box

StrongBread winnersBraveFightersAthletesGentlemenNo tearsNo emotionsMuscles

Hard

BossIn chargeIn controlCrushingKilling itDominatingBad assHeterosexual

Emotional

Gay

Feminine

Weak

Care givers

Soft

Followers

Not in control

Not in charge

Scared Vulnerable Crying

Pussies Fags Losers 2nd Place

What defines a man?

Socialization of Sexual Violence

Why does Safer use Bystander Intervention?

Active not passive Giving people something tangible they can do to be a part

of the movement to end violence

Hold more people accountable to take active roles in their community

Create an environment where we do not tolerate violence

Bystander Intervention Talk to the person next to you about a time when

you intervened in a situation and if it was successful or unsuccessful

Katz, Jackson. MVP Playbook. 2003.

Scenario 1

At a party, you see a friend trying to get an obviously drunk woman to leave with him. She’s not just buzzed; she’s stumbling over her own feet. You know the woman, and she looks reluctant.

What can you do as an active bystander?

Katz, Jackson. MVP Playbook. 2003.

Options 1 Do nothing. It’s really none of my business.

Try to get my friend to leave her alone. Tell him he has to be real careful getting sexually active with a drunk woman.

Approach the woman and ask her how she feels, and if she wants help getting home.

Tell the person throwing the party that I’m worried about the situation, and warn them that they might have some legal responsibility to act.

Get a group of my friends together – men and women – and confront my friend, firmly telling him to stop pursuing this drunk woman.

Personal option:

Scenario 2 Your friend constantly receives text messages from

his girlfriend. She asks him where he is, who he is with and what he is doing. This isn’t just friendly chat; you get the feeling that she is obsessed and jealous, and always needs to know his every move. He has never told you that he is uncomfortable with this, but you are concerned that this is an unhealthy relationship.

Options 2 Do nothing. It is none of my business

Tell my friend I am concerned about him and ask if he feels uncomfortable about anything going on in his relationship

Tell my friend that I am concerned about what I see as his girlfriend trying to control him.

Talk to some of our mutual friends, let them know what I have observed, and ask them if they too have concerns about the relationship.

Talk to a professional staff person at Cal Poly

Tell my friend that she should consider seeing a counselor for support and suggestions

Personal option…

Scenario 3

You are with a group of friends downtown. One of your friends uses the word “fag” and then you hear another friend say “that’s so gay.” You are uncomfortable with this immediately.

Options 3 Do nothing. It is none of my business

Tell my friend I don’t like those words and that they make me uncomfortable

Tell my friend that I am concerned about that those words are being used and explain to them why they are hurtful.

Pull the person aside who made the comment, let them know what you have observed, and have a conversation about the negative impact using those words can have

Ask a professional staff person at Cal Poly how to approach your friend

Personal option…

The Mustang WayPrideResponsibility Character

Safer Resources Located in UU 217, Monday – Friday 9 am – 5 pm

1. Crisis Services First-stop resource center for all Cal Poly students, faculty and staff Professional state-certified rape crisis counselors Confidential reporting at Safer office and online

2. Education Services Presentations to the Cal Poly community Events and workshops focusing on sexual assault prevention Safer Volunteering Training Program

Contact: (805) 756-2282 or safer@calpoly.edu

Personal Reflection

Greek New Member Education Seminar II