GRIEFGRIEF

SERIOUS CHRONICSERIOUS CHRONIC

ILLNESSILLNESS

Prejudices, Placations Prejudices, Placations and Platitudesand Platitudes

Just a few of the things I’ve heard:Just a few of the things I’ve heard:

If you have to have cancer, this is the one to have.If you have to have cancer, this is the one to have. If you can’t change the situation, change your attitude.If you can’t change the situation, change your attitude. You must be scared to death.You must be scared to death. Noone dies of prostate cancer; they die from something Noone dies of prostate cancer; they die from something

else while they have prostate cancer. else while they have prostate cancer. If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is

not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; and this you have the power to revoke at any it; and this you have the power to revoke at any moment. (moment. (Marcus Aurelius)Marcus Aurelius)

Use the power of positive thinking. Stay positive.Use the power of positive thinking. Stay positive. Just get lots of rest.Just get lots of rest. Don’t stay in bed; get out and do somethingDon’t stay in bed; get out and do something Get plenty of exercise.Get plenty of exercise.

SERIOUS CHRONIC SERIOUS CHRONIC ILLNESSILLNESS

Generally PermanentGenerally Permanent Entails significant medical intervention.Entails significant medical intervention. May be very expensive.May be very expensive. Entails significant change in lifestyle.Entails significant change in lifestyle. Confronting Death issues.Confronting Death issues.

Often causes substantial changes to:Often causes substantial changes to:– Job choices or opportunitiesJob choices or opportunities– Interpersonal relationships Interpersonal relationships – Recreational activitiesRecreational activities– Role in one’s familyRole in one’s family– Life goals Life goals

Issues

Emotional:Emotional: Self-imageSelf-image Dependency / ControlDependency / Control Social Stigma / Self-esteemSocial Stigma / Self-esteem Abandonment (e.g. by God, others, one’s Abandonment (e.g. by God, others, one’s

body)body) Anger (at God, undefined)Anger (at God, undefined) Isolation and fear of alonenessIsolation and fear of aloneness StressStress DeathDeath and End of Life and End of Life PhysiologicalPhysiological Fatigue (physical & mental)Fatigue (physical & mental) DepressionDepression Sleep problemsSleep problems Stress (can’t do things)Stress (can’t do things)

STAGES OF GRIEFSTAGES OF GRIEFThe stages Kubler-Ross identified are:The stages Kubler-Ross identified are:

Denial (this isn't Denial (this isn't happeninghappening to me!) to me!) Anger (why is this happening to Anger (why is this happening to meme?)?) Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person Bargaining (I promise I'll be a better person

ifif...)...) Depression (I don't Depression (I don't carecare anymore) anymore) Acceptance (Acceptance (I'm readyI'm ready for whatever comes) for whatever comes)

- OR - - OR - DenialDenial BargainingBargaining Guilt Guilt AngerAnger DepressionDepression AcceptanceAcceptance

ILLNESS COPING ILLNESS COPING FACTORSFACTORS

Beliefs about life Beliefs about life Beliefs about GodBeliefs about God Beliefs about selfBeliefs about self Beliefs about illnessBeliefs about illness Beliefs about controlBeliefs about control Self-efficacySelf-efficacy Life strategies (catastrophy, victim, Life strategies (catastrophy, victim,

etc.)etc.) Coping strategiesCoping strategies

POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES OF POSITIVE CONSEQUENCES OF SERIOUS ILLNESSSERIOUS ILLNESS

Discovering and growing communityDiscovering and growing community Discovering and growing familyDiscovering and growing family Deepening knowledge of oneselfDeepening knowledge of oneself Discovering / developing a relationship Discovering / developing a relationship

with Godwith God An opportunity for spiritual growthAn opportunity for spiritual growth Growth in interpersonal relationships Growth in interpersonal relationships (Based on Viktor Frankl)(Based on Viktor Frankl)