guiding your strong willed child, week 6

Guiding Your Strong Willed Child

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Not-A-Test

• Krista believes that the best way to parent is described in the book: • The Absorbent Mind by Maria Montessori

• Parenting with Love & Logic by Foster Cline & Jim Fay

• The Attachment Parenting Book by William & Martha Sears

• French Kids Eat Everything by Karen LeBillion

• On Behavior by BF Skinner

• None of the above

Review

Not-A-Test

• Krista believes that the best way to parent is described in the book: • • • • • • None of the above

Parenting is personal! The plan you make at your HAT is the best way for YOU to parent. Harnessing the science of learning can make parenting easier.

Review

Not-A-Test

• Circle all of the words you might find in an “operational definition” of a tantrum. Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry

Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well

Longer than a minute Happy Throws object

Review

Not-A-Test

• Circle all of the words you might find in an “operational definition” of a tantrum. Wanted toy Produces tears Shouts “no” Angry

Kicks feet Mad at brother Didn’t sleep well

Longer than a minute Happy Throws object

• Answer? All but those in black – those all are presumptions we make based on our observations, but are not objective descriptions of behavior

Review

Not-A-Test

• An antecedent, behaviorally speaking, can best be described as: • what happens after a behavior occurs

• what happens before a behavior occurs

• what causes a behavior to occur

• how a child feels before she engages in a behavior

Review

Not-A-Test

• An antecedent, behaviorally speaking, can best be described as: • • what happens before a behavior occurs

• •

Answer: An antecedent comes before a behavior but does not cause operant behavior contrary to popular opinion

Review

Not-A-Test

• Which of the following could be described as a consequence? Select ALL that apply. • politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit

her brother

• passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!”

• talking with your child about how it makes you feel when she hits her brother

• giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after she hits her brother

• giving your child a big hug after she falls down

Review

Not-A-Test

• Which of the following could be described as a consequence? Select ALL that apply. • politely asking your child to sit on time out after she hit her brother

• passing your child the milk when she says, “milk please!”

• talking with your child about how it makes you feel when she hits her brother

• giving your child “the look” but not talking with her after she hits her brother

• giving your child a big hug after she falls down

ALL ARE CONSEQUENCES. A consequence is simply what happens as a result of a behavior, it could be reinforcing or

punishing or have no effect.

Review

Not-A-Test

• All behavior serves a __________________.

Please write in your single word answer. If you don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers will earn partial credit ☺

Review

Not-A-Test

• All behavior serves a __________________.

Please write in your single word answer. If you don’t know the real answer, creative wrong answers will earn partial credit ☺

FUNCTION!

Answer: And the key to changing a behavior is to understand its function.

Review

Not-A-Test

• Reinforcement has occurred in which of the following examples: a) Your child completes a chore & receives a sticker on

her daily chore chart

b) Your child is being too loud at a restaurant so you say, “If you don’t quiet down, I will take away your ipad” and he quiets down

c) Your child, stuck in her snowsuit, says, “Help, please” so you free her. She starts asking for help more often as a result.

Review

Not-A-Test

• Reinforcement has occurred in which of the following examples: (c) Your child, stuck in her snowsuit, says, “Help, please”

so you free her. She starts asking for help more often as a result

This is the only example in which we know that the probability of behavior increased in the future as a

result of the consequence!

Review

Not-A-Test

• Behavior of both children and adults _________ be reinforced or punished. • probably should

• probably should not

• will

• will never

Review

Not-A-Test

• Behavior of both children and adults WILL be reinforced or punished.

No matter our preferences or actions, the natural world and our social communities WILL dole out consequences serve to

reinforce and punish our behavior. It serves us best to understand how they work so that they can be employed to help strengthen “good” behavior, and transparently so that

“good” is democratically defined.

Review

Not-a-Test

• While attempting to quickly pick up a few things for dinner with you, your child pointed to the candy aisle and said, “I need candy now!” You said, “Sorry, no candy today pal. We are having your favorite lunch though right when we get home! Macaroni & cheese!” Your child was not impressed. He threw himself to the ground and in a Broadway-style performance screamed, “You are a terrible parent! I am so hungry! CANDY!” You said, “Stop screaming. If you ask nicely, then you can have one piece of candy. Just one piece.” He stopped screaming and asked nicely. You let him pick one piece of candy. He was pleasant the whole ride home.

Review

Not-a-Test, Part One

• You are now preparing to go grocery shopping with your child again. (You tried to trade the chore with someone else but to no avail ☺) What would you expect to happen if you do nothing differently?

Answer: (one point) Groundhog’s Day – The behavior was reinforced so science tells us that the future probability of it occurring will increase

Review

Not-a-Test, Part Two…

• There are many ways you could probably get a better outcome. Please write ONE specific idea you have and WHY you think it would work (you may wish to consider making changes to the antecedent, behavior, or consequence).

Review

Not-a-Test, Part Two…

Answer

[1st Point] The function of the challenging behavior is ____________________ so I could (pick one): o Replace that behavior with a more appropriate behavior that serves the same function such as

(consequence intervention)…

o Make the challenging behavior work less well (consequence intervention) by…

o Un-set the stage (antecedent intervention) for the challenging behavior by…

o Re-set the stage (antecedent intervention) for the appropriate behavior by…

[2nd Point] This will work because all behavior serves a function and this new way helps my child access that SAME consequence in a more appropriate way! Wahoo!

Review

Week 6. Oh the Places You’ll Go!

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Week Six

Community Super Kid Meeting

Content New Way Work Session

Collaboration Our Favorite Things

Extension A New Way Video

Super Kid Meetings

Make yourself a note of appropriate behavior you want to strengthen through celebration

Set aside a time to reflect with child on her use of appropriate behavior

Offer your full attention during meeting

Consider creating a permanent product

Community

Super Kid Meetings: Small Changes, Big Difference • Make sure it is an authentic, fun & positive time…

“Sam, when I asked you to “stop & wait” for me on our walk today, you listened the first time!”

• Invite developmentally-appropriate participation in process…“Did you want to keep going when I asked you to stop?” “You did?! And you still stopped. Wow!”

• Document…”Would you like to add a map to your book, act out w/ toys, role play for video…?”

Community

Week Six





Nuts & Bolts of Behavior

Operational Definitions

Antecedent

Original Behavior

Replacement Behavior

Consequence

Content

Today’s Gift from Science

Operational Definitions

Antecedent

Behavior

REPLACEMENT

Consequence

Content

A New Way Plan – Work Session Content

OLD, CHALLENGING BEHAVIOR

• Operational Definition This is a description of the behavior we want to replace:

– Child pulling hair of peer & grabbing toy



• Antecedents. We observed that these antecedents often occur before the behavior:

– Peer takes toy from child

– Peer has highly preferred toy

– Parent is not within arm’s reach



• Consequences. We observed that our child often accesses the following consequence(s) after the behavior (circle relevant):

– Attention

– Escape

– Avoidance

– Access to something tangible



• Consequences. Specifically we observed that these things usually happen after the behavior occurs: – Peer gives toy

– Child accesses toy briefly

– Adult gives child a different toy

– Adult says, “uh oh, we need to ask nicely for a toy.”


NEW, REPLACEMENT BEHAVIOR

• Operational Definition. This is a description of the behavior we want to teach to replace the old behavior:

– Child says, “Please”



• Antecedents. This is how we will un-set the stage for the challenging behavior using what comes BEFORE:

– During toy play for next week, parent will supervise all cooperative toy play or give child a highly-preferred independent activity



• Antecedents. This is how we will PROACTIVELY re-set the stage for the child to use the new, replacement behavior:

– Parents will model as often as possible

– During supervised play, parent will give peer the child’s favorite toy, prompt child to get a new toy, bring it to the peer, say, “please trade” & prompt peer to trade toy immediately



• Consequences. This is how the new behavior will work as well OR BETTER than the old behavior to access to something tangible

– Supervised play will enable the parent to make sure that child’s “Please trade” works even better than her Grab & Steal method

– Using “please trade” instead of “please” should increase prob. of future reinforcement



• Consequences. Is new skill strong enough to access the natural consequences or do we need to bring the gap until it strengthens with bonus reinforcement?

– Stop (“Did you just say, ‘Please trade’?!)

– Celebrate (“When you said ‘Please trade’ your friend traded toys with you!”)

– Document (“Wow! I am going add another piece to this Lego tower! Look how tall it is now!)

– Super Kid Meeting (Later that night, “I noticed that you have really learned to say, ‘Please trade!’ Do you want to teach your bear how to trade too? [Yes!] Okay, Daddy will video tape it!)



• Consequences. How will we know when the new behavior is strong enough to stand on its own?

– Parent will gradually delay the prompt to say, “Trade please” until child says it without a prompt a few times

– Parent will gradually let peer decide when to share though sharing will continue to be celebrated!

A New Way Plan – Work Session


• Consequences. What will we do if the child takes the old way? Can we make that road less effective?

– TURN INTO ROBOT PARENT

– Do not allow access to stolen toy

– Write down your simple plan & stick

– Be boring! Save drama for good

– Have a phone operator mantra

Content

Week Six





Why?

“Research has shown that the most effective way to reduce problem behavior in children is to

strengthen desirable behavior through positive reinforcement rather than trying to weaken

undesirable behavior using aversive or negative processes.”

• Sidney W. Bijou, Ph.D.

Collaboration

A Few of Our Favorite Things Collaboration

• Name the Good Playtime

• Sure Y! First X, Then Y!

• Micro Choices

• Micro Demands

• Super Kid Meetings

• Choices Before, Consistency During, Changes Later

• The Upside Down Principal

Name the Good Playtime

1. Set aside 5 min to “play” most days.

2. Avoid making demands, corrections or asking questions.

3. Use your interactions to INVEST in your child

Community Collaboration

Reflect Highlight

Natural Perks Imitate

Specifically Describe

C: “I am building a tower.”

P: “That is a tall tower!”

C: (Shares toy) P: “You set the

table, now we can eat our snack!”

C: (Dancing) P: (Dance!)

C: (Racing cars) P: You are racing

cars!

Sure Y! First X, Then Y!

1. “Sure Y!” Start with “Sure you can ________”

2. “First X,” Give a simple & good X demand

3. “Then Y!” Fun Y follows contingently


Child Asks For Child Already Doing Child Loves

C: “May I have cereal?” P: “Sure you can have

cereal…

C: (Playing with legos) P: “Would you like to keep

playing with legos? Sure…”

C: (Loves to jump) P: “Would you like to jump on

trampoline? OK…”

Micro Choices

1. Tiny, EASY little choices that don’t affect the outcome but still share control!

2. Use variations (what flavor icing?) on fun outcomes (eating cake) that you expect your child to like

Speed Style Size Shape

Walk home fast or slow?

Green jacket or red jacket?

Bath half full or all the way full?

Orange peeled or unpeeled?

Collaboration

Micro Demands

• Make silly, simple or adored demands frequently to help teach that all demands are not bad

• Aim to make good demands that are assertive, necessary, instructive & enforceable

• Celebrate their compliance using techniques from Name the Good


Silly Simple Adored

Son, wiggle your nose! My look at that nose wiggle!

Daughter, pass the spoon. Now I can eat my soup!

Son, give yourself a scoop of ice cream.

You picked chocolate!

Super Kid Meetings

1. Have a full-attention meeting with your child

2. Invite your child to participate in a fun & easy way

3. Document when your child takes the way that works!


Behavior Map Role Play Video Journal

Draw out what came before, what the child did, and the result

of his or her choice

Act out what happened (stick to the road that worked) & video

tape it

Give your child the chance to tell his or her story of taking the

way that worked on video

Choices Before, Consistency During, Changes Later

1. Offer choices BEFORE challenging behavior (only You or Me choices after challenging behavior)

2. When challenging behavior occurs, be Robot Parent

3. If something works or doesn’t, write it down & review at HAT


Choices Before Consistency During Changes Later

(About to leave park which has been difficult before)

Would you like to look for birds on our walk home or

have a snack?

(Child throws himself to the ground while screaming)

Okay, I choose look for birds. (carry screaming child to stroller while thinking happy thoughts)

(Review at HAT. Great job sticking to plan! Might want to

teach a functional replacement behavior going forward.)

We are going to teach child to ask “one more minute pls”

The Upside Down Principal

KEY: Turn the principal office upside down!

Attention for good, boring if bad, create a

new way

Collaboration

Week Six





Workshop: Coming to a Close

• Please complete the Not-A-Test & the survey

• Please leave it for me with your name tag before you go tonight!

• If your parenting partner is not present tonight, please bring both home & ask him or her to drop it off in the Near North office by FRIDAY or to email me a scanned copy.

• They are both really important!

Extension

At-Home Extension: A New Way Video

• By May 1st, please email me a video of you & your parenting partner describing how & why your “A New Way” plan is working!

Extension

Questions, Comments?

• Review the slides at biehus.wordpress.com

• Email me at [email protected]

Extension

guiding your strong willed child, week 6

Education

test krista

test circle

test reinforcement

operant behavior contrary

partial credit review

strong willed child

real answer

brother didnt sleep