strong willed parent!

Raise them UP, Raise them UP, Don’t Crush them Down!Don’t Crush them Down!

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The Strong-Willed ParentThe Strong-Willed Parent

By Mark HambyBy Mark HambyLamplighter MinistriesLamplighter Ministries

www.lamplighterpublishing.comwww.lamplighterpublishing.com1-888-246-77351-888-246-7735

http://www.lamplighterpublishing.com/

Lamplighter Lamplighter PublishingPublishing

Building Character, one story at a time!Building Character, one story at a time!

WWW.LAMPLIGHTER.NET

1-888-A-GOSPEL

My children, ages 14, 12 and 7, are voracious My children, ages 14, 12 and 7, are voracious readers, and it has always been a challenge to find readers, and it has always been a challenge to find suitable reading material for them. We've had to suitable reading material for them. We've had to content ourselves with books that are merely content ourselves with books that are merely inoffensive, but NOW we can provide them with inoffensive, but NOW we can provide them with literature that encourages and teaches them in the literature that encourages and teaches them in the ways of the Lord, in Truth that will guide their lives ways of the Lord, in Truth that will guide their lives unto godliness!!! After God's teaching in His Word, unto godliness!!! After God's teaching in His Word, Lamplighter has been the greatest support in our Lamplighter has been the greatest support in our homeschool, and I can't thank you, and praise our homeschool, and I can't thank you, and praise our Lord, enough.Lord, enough.

LAMPLIGHTER.NET

Character Comprehension Quizzes

Lamplighter Theatre


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By Mark HambyBy Mark HambyLamplighter MinistriesLamplighter Ministries

www.lamplighterpublishing.comwww.lamplighterpublishing.com1-888-246-77351-888-246-7735

http://www.lamplighterpublishing.com/


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Meet Jonathan!Meet Jonathan!

He tends his flock like a shepherd;He tends his flock like a shepherd;He gathers the lambs in his armsHe gathers the lambs in his arms

And carries them close to his heart;And carries them close to his heart;He gently leads those that have young.He gently leads those that have young.

Isaiah 40:11Isaiah 40:11

Jonathan,

Your posture looks very t ired. Please si t up and

look attentive in God’s house. Please use Mom’s

Bible. Thanks for l istening to my instruction.

Manhood Lesson #1

A Will To Obey!

Love,

Dad

For your own good!

Dad,

I am tired. I slept for four hours.Instead of always finding someway to “instruct me”, let me listenand understand in peace.

Thanks,Jonathan

Trying to help!

JUDGMENT

LISTEN

OBEY

JUDGMENT SHORT LIFE

Dad

Jonathan,

I would love to be sensitive to your tiredness, but someday you will stand before the living God and will give an account for your refusal to listen to my instruction. Like it or not, God has given me the responsibil ity to instruct you. Whether you listen or not is up to you. Just remember, refusal to l isten places you outside the blessing and protection of God.

BLESSING

LONG

LIFE

Dad,

I did sit up. I’m not refusing to listen and I’m tired of you getting on my case. Do youactually wonder why I don’t like sitting withyou? C’mon, I am totally exhausted. I’mdoing my best just to stay awake, ok?!

Jonathan

Listening and Obeyingfor there’s no other way!

Jonathan,

I’ve been doing some soul searching lately, and I believe Ihave not been a good father to you, but recognize that byGod’s grace, it is never too late. I am truly sorry for thepain I’ve caused you. May God’s spirit and yourcommitted dad bring healing ointment to your life. Hereis my shoe oil thing--use it whenever you like. All that is mine is yours! Love,

Dad

Ephesians 3:20

Dad,

I’ve been doing some thinking of myown. I, too, am sorry for the pain I’vecaused you. However, I disagree withyou in that you have not been a goodfather—we’ve just had some roughspots (more like smooth spots on sandpaper, but who’s looking). Here’s mytie—wear it whenever you want.

Jonathan James 1:2-3

And He shall turn the hearts of And He shall turn the hearts of the Fathers to the children,the Fathers to the children,

And the heart of the children And the heart of the children to their fathers,to their fathers,

Lest I come and smite the Lest I come and smite the earth with aearth with aCURSE!

Malachi 4:6Malachi 4:6

The results of the curse:The results of the curse: serpent – will now crawl on its belly serpent – will now crawl on its belly

and constant conflictand constant conflict Eve – in Eve – in sorrowsorrow she will bring forth she will bring forth

childrenchildren Adam – in Adam – in sorrowsorrow he will bring forth the he will bring forth the

fruit of the groundfruit of the ground

sorrow: intense laborsorrow: intense labor

THE THE GRACEGRACE

OF OUR LORDOF OUR LORD

JESUS CHRISTJESUS CHRIST

BE WITH YOU ALL AMEN.BE WITH YOU ALL AMEN.

Revelation 22:21Revelation 22:21

YOU CANNOT YOU CANNOT CONTROLCONTROL

ANYTHING WHEN ANYTHING WHEN YOU HAVE YOU HAVE

OUTSTRETCHED OUTSTRETCHED ARMS!ARMS!

Ron DiCianni

Dear Dad:I read your gift. Why do you do

that do me? Yes I cried. But don’t get all suppy and mushy. I ’m forever sorry for not helping you when you needed it. That will change. Things can be different now. Thank you for trying over and over again, to be the best father that you can be. I love you. Please hold my hand forever.

Jonathan (the music you are listening to)

Ron DiCianni

““One walking in grace accepts people on One walking in grace accepts people on the basis of unconditional acceptance. the basis of unconditional acceptance.

This doesn’t suggest a blanket approval of This doesn’t suggest a blanket approval of all behavior, but grace allows one to love all behavior, but grace allows one to love others regardless of their actions. People others regardless of their actions. People influenced by the curse set out to change influenced by the curse set out to change

what peoplewhat people do. do. Grace looks beyond Grace looks beyond what others do and affirms them for who what others do and affirms them for who they they are, are, encouraging them to live up to encouraging them to live up to

their identity in Christ. People influenced their identity in Christ. People influenced by the curse heap guilt and shame on by the curse heap guilt and shame on

those who fail to measure up. A gracious those who fail to measure up. A gracious Christian loves unconditionally.”Christian loves unconditionally.”

Grace Walk Grace Walk by Steve McVeyby Steve McVey

20 Bil l20 Bi l l Recently, the Lord gave me a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the Recently, the Lord gave me a wonderful opportunity to demonstrate the

power of His awesome grace to one of my sons.power of His awesome grace to one of my sons. This son phoned me at the bookstore one day and said, "Guess what, This son phoned me at the bookstore one day and said, "Guess what,

mom... I found a $20 bil l in the pocket of one of my pairs of shorts."mom... I found a $20 bil l in the pocket of one of my pairs of shorts." Immediately I discerned that what he was tell ing me probably wasn't the Immediately I discerned that what he was tell ing me probably wasn't the

truth. But I congratulated him on finding the lost money and we truth. But I congratulated him on finding the lost money and we speculated that it was probably some forgotten birthday money. End of speculated that it was probably some forgotten birthday money. End of phone call .phone call .

When I hung up the phone with him I tried to remind myself to check in When I hung up the phone with him I tried to remind myself to check in

a drawer at home to see if a $20 bil l was sti l l there. It is a drawer that a drawer at home to see if a $20 bil l was sti l l there. It is a drawer that the older boys know about... where my husband and I stash extra cash the older boys know about... where my husband and I stash extra cash for emergencies.for emergencies.

That night I forgot to check, but a few days later I remembered and saw That night I forgot to check, but a few days later I remembered and saw

that it was missing. My husband hadn't taken any money from it.. . and that it was missing. My husband hadn't taken any money from it.. . and money had never been missing before. I knew I had to talk to my son. money had never been missing before. I knew I had to talk to my son.

What a f lashback to my childhood!!What a f lashback to my childhood!! My son was from my blood, for sure. But he didn't have the desperate, My son was from my blood, for sure. But he didn't have the desperate, driving need for money that I thought I had as a child... or did he? I driving need for money that I thought I had as a child... or did he? I remembered the guilt and shame... and the loss of trust with my parents remembered the guilt and shame... and the loss of trust with my parents as I stole t ime and again and was caught and disciplined for it . I as I stole t ime and again and was caught and disciplined for it . I remembered how it felt. .. how I knew I lost their trust so I didn't care remembered how it felt. .. how I knew I lost their trust so I didn't care after awhile... Oh, no. I don't want my dear son feeling that way or after awhile... Oh, no. I don't want my dear son feeling that way or taking that path!taking that path!

I brought him into a quiet room away from his brothers I brought him into a quiet room away from his brothers and we sat down together. I told him I wanted to tell him and we sat down together. I told him I wanted to tell him a story... and I proceeded to tel l him about when I was a a story... and I proceeded to tel l him about when I was a l i t t le girl and I had taken a $10 bil l from my mother's l i t t le girl and I had taken a $10 bil l from my mother's wallet. My mother found the money missing very shortly wallet. My mother found the money missing very shortly afterward and was distraught. It was the only money we afterward and was distraught. It was the only money we had for groceries that week! I felt so terrible... and I had for groceries that week! I felt so terrible... and I really wanted to return the money. But how? I decided really wanted to return the money. But how? I decided to make up a story to cover my sin. I went outside to to make up a story to cover my sin. I went outside to where the sprinkler was watering the lawn and I where the sprinkler was watering the lawn and I pretended to f ind the money under the sprinkler. I went pretended to f ind the money under the sprinkler. I went in the house, triumphant that I had "found" the (now wet) in the house, triumphant that I had "found" the (now wet) missing money, eager to hand it over to my distraught missing money, eager to hand it over to my distraught mother and make things right again.mother and make things right again.

Much to my dismay, I was met with an angry parent who Much to my dismay, I was met with an angry parent who vowed that I was lying... that I had stolen the money... vowed that I was lying... that I had stolen the money... and that I could never be trusted. I sank deeper into my and that I could never be trusted. I sank deeper into my sin, believing that I might as well be what she claimed I sin, believing that I might as well be what she claimed I was. It didn't matter anymore.was. It didn't matter anymore.

I knew that I wanted this encounter with my son to be I knew that I wanted this encounter with my son to be very, very different. So I told him the story while holding very, very different. So I told him the story while holding him in my arms and rubbing his back. Then I let him him in my arms and rubbing his back. Then I let him know that I was missing $20 and I asked if i t was know that I was missing $20 and I asked if i t was possibly the $20 that he had found in his pocket. He possibly the $20 that he had found in his pocket. He immediately said, "No, mom... I did f ind that in my immediately said, "No, mom... I did f ind that in my pocket."pocket."

I was so pleased that God was in control! !! It was at this point that I got the I was so pleased that God was in control! !! It was at this point that I got the awesome opportunity to heal a great wrong in my l ife... simply by treating my awesome opportunity to heal a great wrong in my l ife... simply by treating my son (in his sin) the way that I had only dreamed of being treated.son (in his sin) the way that I had only dreamed of being treated. I said to him, "I BELIEVE you."I said to him, "I BELIEVE you." I hugged him and sent him on his way.I hugged him and sent him on his way.

Later that night I mentioned to him that we needed to put the $20 up on his Later that night I mentioned to him that we needed to put the $20 up on his "chart." We keep a running account of the younger children's money on a "chart." We keep a running account of the younger children's money on a chart on the refr igerator. Then we keep the cash for them so they don't lose chart on the refr igerator. Then we keep the cash for them so they don't lose it. They do this by choice, and he had already given me the $20 bil l the day it. They do this by choice, and he had already given me the $20 bil l the day he had called me to say he had found it in his pocket. They usually keep he had called me to say he had found it in his pocket. They usually keep smaller amounts in their wallets, but the bigger amounts they give back to us smaller amounts in their wallets, but the bigger amounts they give back to us and write up on their "account."and write up on their "account."

I had joyfully written the $20 entry on his account. I felt such peace... such I had joyfully written the $20 entry on his account. I felt such peace... such joy. Conviction of sin was up to the Holy Spirit alone!! I had done the only joy. Conviction of sin was up to the Holy Spirit alone!! I had done the only job required of me... I had lavished "prodigal" grace on my son.job required of me... I had lavished "prodigal" grace on my son. I call it prodigal grace because prodigal means "reckless, lavish, wasteful." I call it prodigal grace because prodigal means "reckless, lavish, wasteful." The father in the parable of the "prodigal son" was actually the one who was The father in the parable of the "prodigal son" was actually the one who was reckless, lavish, and wasteful!! He "wasted" the fatted calf on his wayward reckless, lavish, and wasteful!! He "wasted" the fatted calf on his wayward son; he "lavished" an undeserved gift of a robe and a ring. He recklessly ran son; he "lavished" an undeserved gift of a robe and a ring. He recklessly ran down the road to meet him. He poured out unconditional love. Yes -- that is down the road to meet him. He poured out unconditional love. Yes -- that is what I lacked as a child. That is what I wanted my son, yet in his what I lacked as a child. That is what I wanted my son, yet in his unrepentant sin, to experience.unrepentant sin, to experience. A few hours later I was preparing to read aloud a book to the boys. My A few hours later I was preparing to read aloud a book to the boys. My heartbroken son came into the room and burst into tears at my side. I heartbroken son came into the room and burst into tears at my side. I hugged him. I asked him if he would l ike to tell me something.hugged him. I asked him if he would l ike to tell me something.

"Yes...", he stammered, "I.... I did take that money out of your drawer, Mom.""Yes...", he stammered, "I.... I did take that money out of your drawer, Mom."

What joy in my heart to see the Holy Spirit bring about the work of What joy in my heart to see the Holy Spirit bring about the work of repentance totally unhindered by me!!!repentance totally unhindered by me!!!

I said this to him...”Oh, my dear son... I LOVE you. I am so proud of I said this to him...”Oh, my dear son... I LOVE you. I am so proud of you for tel l ing me the truth. That took SO much courage. I bel ieved you for tel l ing me the truth. That took SO much courage. I bel ieved you when you told me that you didn't take the money because I really you when you told me that you didn't take the money because I really trust you. I 'm so glad I can trust you to tel l me the truth. I know that trust you. I 'm so glad I can trust you to tel l me the truth. I know that was a hard thing to do.was a hard thing to do.

I do want you to know something. All that I have is yours. If you ever I do want you to know something. All that I have is yours. If you ever feel l ike you need money you just come and tell me. I don't ever want feel l ike you need money you just come and tell me. I don't ever want you to feel l ike you have to steal.you to feel l ike you have to steal. And I want you to keep that money... I don't want it back. I 'm just so And I want you to keep that money... I don't want it back. I 'm just so glad you let the Holy Spirit work in your heart."glad you let the Holy Spirit work in your heart."

Yes... I wanted him to keep the money. And no one else in our Yes... I wanted him to keep the money. And no one else in our household knows what happened. I covered over his sin for a very good household knows what happened. I covered over his sin for a very good purpose --- so that he wil l never forget what that kind of love feels l ike.purpose --- so that he wil l never forget what that kind of love feels l ike.

I don't bel ieve I ' l l ever deal with this issue with him again. And for that I don't bel ieve I ' l l ever deal with this issue with him again. And for that very reason... i t was worth it to be a prodigal mom.very reason... i t was worth it to be a prodigal mom. God's love is so radical toward us... so incredibly unbelievable!! We God's love is so radical toward us... so incredibly unbelievable!! We were ungodly, we were sinners, we were enemies.were ungodly, we were sinners, we were enemies.

One wil l hardly die for a righteousOne wil l hardly die for a righteousman; though perhaps for the goodman; though perhaps for the goodman someone would dare even toman someone would dare even todie. But God demonstrates His owndie. But God demonstrates His ownlove toward us, in that while we werelove toward us, in that while we wereyet sinners, Christ died for us.yet sinners, Christ died for us.(Romans 5:7-8)(Romans 5:7-8)

Won't you show a l i tt le of that "amazing grace" to your undeserving Won't you show a l i tt le of that "amazing grace" to your undeserving chi ld today,chi ld today,

HeatherHeather

Does Grace Really Work?Does Grace Really Work?Dear Mr. Hamby,Dear Mr. Hamby,

……When our first child was born 7 years ago, I When our first child was born 7 years ago, I looked and looked for Christian teaching on looked and looked for Christian teaching on discipline and raising godly children. I settled on a discipline and raising godly children. I settled on a "first-time obedience" approach that was popular. "first-time obedience" approach that was popular. My husband willingly went along with it, being as My husband willingly went along with it, being as uncertain as I was about how to raise godly uncertain as I was about how to raise godly children.children.

I carried a lot of anger and resentment toward my I carried a lot of anger and resentment toward my children. I viewed their disobedience as a personal children. I viewed their disobedience as a personal offense against me. I was exasperated by their lack offense against me. I was exasperated by their lack of self-control and emotions. My oldest daughter is of self-control and emotions. My oldest daughter is very strong-willed, and her temper tantrums were very strong-willed, and her temper tantrums were outrageous. The tantrums were not used as a tool to outrageous. The tantrums were not used as a tool to get attention in public or to manipulate me, but they get attention in public or to manipulate me, but they were always directed at me (rarely her father)… Her were always directed at me (rarely her father)… Her behavior outside of the home was impeccable. It behavior outside of the home was impeccable. It made it very hard to talk with anyone about this made it very hard to talk with anyone about this problem. problem.

No one believed there WAS a problem, or passed No one believed there WAS a problem, or passed it off as an isolated incident or a “stage.” And no it off as an isolated incident or a “stage.” And no one ever, ever challenged me to remove the log one ever, ever challenged me to remove the log in my own eye. She did not sleep well at night in my own eye. She did not sleep well at night since very early on. She was defiant and talked since very early on. She was defiant and talked back a lot. My daughter never completed a chore back a lot. My daughter never completed a chore without intervention from me. She was without intervention from me. She was determined to have her say when corrected. It determined to have her say when corrected. It was an uphill battle all the time, and quite frankly I was an uphill battle all the time, and quite frankly I didn't enjoy her at all. didn't enjoy her at all.

……I had found a discipline style that suited I had found a discipline style that suited meme early on...early on...butbut I had not truly searched the I had not truly searched the scriptures to find how to reach my children’s scriptures to find how to reach my children’s hearts. While I thought I was following God's hearts. While I thought I was following God's lead, I realize that I had my own agenda and it lead, I realize that I had my own agenda and it was a self-righteous one that didn't require me to was a self-righteous one that didn't require me to change. I wasn't willing to consider that my change. I wasn't willing to consider that my convictions were selfish ones. I confessed my convictions were selfish ones. I confessed my sin to the Lord and began to show more sin to the Lord and began to show more tenderness and self-control with my daughter. I tenderness and self-control with my daughter. I still fell into the old ways often, though. still fell into the old ways often, though.

I could have put my name in your place. I I could have put my name in your place. I was ALWAYS correcting my daughter, was ALWAYS correcting my daughter, ALWAYS finding fault with her endeavors, ALWAYS finding fault with her endeavors, ALWAYS saying her name in a way that ALWAYS saying her name in a way that implied disapproval or correction, ALWAYS implied disapproval or correction, ALWAYS fussing about undone chores. I had placed fussing about undone chores. I had placed responsibility over relationship. I had a child responsibility over relationship. I had a child who was fearful of my correction - that's the who was fearful of my correction - that's the root of the sleep problem, and the reason for root of the sleep problem, and the reason for her unwillingness to try so many things. I her unwillingness to try so many things. I was not casting out fear with love.was not casting out fear with love.

……I realized that little Sarah had very little chance of I realized that little Sarah had very little chance of earning my approval. I stopped getting angry every earning my approval. I stopped getting angry every time a simple chore was left undone. I stopped time a simple chore was left undone. I stopped spanking. I stopped lecturing. I started cleaning her spanking. I stopped lecturing. I started cleaning her toys up outside without asking her to help. I went toys up outside without asking her to help. I went upstairs and made her bed in the morning. She upstairs and made her bed in the morning. She spent a Saturday morning with me to run errands. I spent a Saturday morning with me to run errands. I asked her what she wanted to do, and that's what asked her what she wanted to do, and that's what we did. The errands got done another day. She we did. The errands got done another day. She loves flowers and gardens; I bought her a ton of loves flowers and gardens; I bought her a ton of seed packets and helped her plant them. She loves seed packets and helped her plant them. She loves to paint; I started painting with her several times a to paint; I started painting with her several times a week. I started hanging a butterfly on her closet week. I started hanging a butterfly on her closet door at night after she fell asleep, so if she woke up door at night after she fell asleep, so if she woke up she would KNOW that I had kept my promise to she would KNOW that I had kept my promise to check on her. I started hugging and kissing her check on her. I started hugging and kissing her intentionally.intentionally.

In a matter of days, the most remarkable thing In a matter of days, the most remarkable thing happened. I was doing some cleaning, and I happened. I was doing some cleaning, and I asked my youngest to do a small chore, which asked my youngest to do a small chore, which she did willingly. Without my asking for help, she did willingly. Without my asking for help, Sarah set about doing chores—big chores that Sarah set about doing chores—big chores that required a lot of effort on her part. She dusted, required a lot of effort on her part. She dusted, swept, and washed dishes. She straightened swept, and washed dishes. She straightened up and put things away properly. It was then I up and put things away properly. It was then I realized what a different child she had become. realized what a different child she had become. She sleeps better at night. She laughs more, She sleeps better at night. She laughs more, and she is not as angry. and she is not as angry.

She takes offenses from her younger sister She takes offenses from her younger sister better. She handles disappointment with grace better. She handles disappointment with grace and not anger. She says “yes ma'am” and “no and not anger. She says “yes ma'am” and “no ma'am” consistently. She accepts my ma'am” consistently. She accepts my correction willingly and changes her behavior correction willingly and changes her behavior when necessary. She cleans up her outdoor when necessary. She cleans up her outdoor toys without being told. She wants me to read toys without being told. She wants me to read to her now instead of just tolerating it. And best to her now instead of just tolerating it. And best of all, she has started talking about the things of all, she has started talking about the things that are in her heart, and she wants ME to hear that are in her heart, and she wants ME to hear them.them.

When I started trying to disciple Sarah the way When I started trying to disciple Sarah the way Jesus would, she bloomed. She is a joy to be Jesus would, she bloomed. She is a joy to be with, and I have lost my anger and impatience. with, and I have lost my anger and impatience. When those feelings do try and creep to the When those feelings do try and creep to the surface I can label them, confess them, and surface I can label them, confess them, and deal with them before they control me. deal with them before they control me.

…God allows us to remember our sins, not so …God allows us to remember our sins, not so we condemn ourselves repeatedly, but so we we condemn ourselves repeatedly, but so we can show others what he has delivered us can show others what he has delivered us from. …Our God is a GREAT God.from. …Our God is a GREAT God.

And He shall turn the hearts of And He shall turn the hearts of the Fathers to the children,the Fathers to the children,

And the heart of the children And the heart of the children to their fathers,to their fathers,

Lest I come and smite the Lest I come and smite the earth with aearth with aCURSE!

Malachi 4:6Malachi 4:6

“…“…to turn the hearts of the to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and fathers to the children, and

the disobedient to the the disobedient to the wisdom of the just, to make wisdom of the just, to make ready a people prepared for ready a people prepared for

the Lord.”the Lord.”

Luke 1:17Luke 1:17

Jesus looked so wearyJesus looked so wearyFrom the worries of the dayFrom the worries of the day

But the look of His face lightedBut the look of His face lightedWhen the children came his wayWhen the children came his way

But before He could reach out to themBut before He could reach out to themAnd join them in their playAnd join them in their play

His grown up band of followersHis grown up band of followersTold the kids to go away.Told the kids to go away.

Let The Children ComeBy Michael Card

Chorus:Chorus:Let the children comeLet the children come

Don’t dare drive them awayDon’t dare drive them awayIn them the kingdom comesIn them the kingdom comes

Hear the holy, foolish things they sayHear the holy, foolish things they sayThe springtime of their life decidesThe springtime of their life decides

The adults they’ll becomeThe adults they’ll becomeSo let the children,So let the children,

Please let the children come.Please let the children come.

A bruised reed he shall not A bruised reed he shall not break, and smoking flax break, and smoking flax shall he not quench…shall he not quench…

Matthew 12:20Matthew 12:20

(prisoners)(prisoners)

The golden gift of childhood lastsThe golden gift of childhood lastsA lifetime if you tryA lifetime if you try

The simple trusting faith they ownThe simple trusting faith they ownKeeps the scholars mystifiedKeeps the scholars mystifiedAnd so the Lord adopts usAnd so the Lord adopts us

As His daughters and His sonsAs His daughters and His sonsFor the kingdom is for childrenFor the kingdom is for children

So, please let the children come.So, please let the children come.

Chorus:Chorus:Let the children comeLet the children come

Don’t dare drive them awayDon’t dare drive them awayIn them the kingdom comesIn them the kingdom comes

Hear the holy, foolish things they sayHear the holy, foolish things they sayThe springtime of their life decidesThe springtime of their life decides

The adults they’ll becomeThe adults they’ll becomeSo let the children,So let the children,

Please let the children come.Please let the children come.

The End

During the Peloponnesian War, During the Peloponnesian War, Thucydides wrote, Thucydides wrote,

““There is no need to suppose There is no need to suppose that human beings differ very that human beings differ very much one from another: much one from another:

but it is true that the ones who but it is true that the ones who come out on top are the ones come out on top are the ones who have been trained who have been trained

in the hardest school.” in the hardest school.”

““Though he were a son, yet Though he were a son, yet learned he obedience by learned he obedience by the things which he the things which he suffered.”suffered.”

Hebrews 5:8Hebrews 5:8

Take my yoke upon you Take my yoke upon you and learn of me; for I am and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: meek and lowly in heart: and you shall find rest unto and you shall find rest unto your souls.your souls.


Fund Development Fund Development CounselCounsel

Dear Mr. Hamby,I just wanted to express my gratitude. Teddy’s Button has captivated my class of 4th graders like no other book I’ve ever read. I’ve prayed with two of them that WERE Christians to “become true soldiers” and it does such a clear job of expressing the true war we are in. Thank you for finding and restoring this treasure!! God Bless you, Betsy Linnell

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dear Mark,I just went through your latest Lamplighter and felt inspired to write...you! On behalf of my wife and nine children (ranging in ages from 21 to 2), I would like to thank you for the high quality (academic, spiritual, and [even] graphic) books you publish.Please be encouraged in your efforts.

Sincerely, Craig Funston

Two Warnings:

1. Eph 6:4 – provoke not

- proximity, alongside, lit. from side of.

- to be passionate, enrage, to anger (from root word orgy - violent passions and perverted sexual relationships) abhorrence, vengeance, wrath, punishment.

Remedy: bring them up – to nurture, rearing to maturity, to cherish, train, nourish, reference to nursing.

Two Warnings:

1.Col 3:21 – provoke not (root word ) to stimulate, irritate, embitter, rouse to anger or fight, to be quarrelsome, perverse, to make resentful, to stir up for combat, i.e. to excite a bull for the arena.

- a child frequently irritated by over-severity or injustice to which, nevertheless, must submit, acquires a spirit of sullen resignation leading to despair. (Abbott)

Two Warnings:

Lest they be discouraged:from the root word - passion, fierce indignation, breathe hard, smoke, slaughter, sacrifice, kill, slay.

- negative particle that denotes without passion, spiritless.

Progressive Warning and Consequence:

In Ephesians, there is a warning with a remedy.

The child has a spirit to fight back.

In Colossians, there is a warning with consequences.

The child has lost his spirit.

“Fathers should not, therefore, drive their children to exasperation or resentment. This would rule out

excessive discipline, unreasonable hard demands, arbitrariness, constant nagging and condemnation, and any

gross insensitivity to children’s sensibilities that would break their spirit and make them listless and

unresponsive.”

Expected Behavior- Stress & Anxiety- Boredom-

10

12

14

16

18

20

10 12 14 16 18 20Age

STRESS

BOREDOM

Two JourneysTwo Journeys

Compulsatory

Self Protective

Journey 1

Journey 2

Other Governed Existence(Problem Focus Approach)

Christ Governed Existence(Person Focus Approach)

Self Governing Existence

Christ Centered Existence

““The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and plenteous in mercy.”to anger, and plenteous in mercy.”

““He hath not dealt with us after our sins; He hath not dealt with us after our sins; nor rewarded us according to our nor rewarded us according to our

iniquities.” iniquities.” ““Like as a father has compassion on his Like as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on children, so the Lord has compassion on

them that fear him.”them that fear him.”Psalm 103:8, 10, 13Psalm 103:8, 10, 13

Just wanted to let you know I finished reading "Giant Killer" to my kids last weekend and started Basket of Flowers Sunday Night. We are really enjoying these books. Last night my kids had the choice of watching a half an hour of TV, playing video games for half an hour or having me read an extra half an hour to them and they chose reading a Lamplighter book. They knew I was going to read to them at bedtime anyway, but still chose the extra half hour of "story time". I was very excited to have my 9, 7, 5 and one of our neighbors kids (also 5) all want to sit around my living room while I read a couple chapters of Basket of Flowers. If they could have stayed awake, we would have read until midnight. They love this book and so do I. Your ministry is having a tremendous, positive effect on me and my family. Grace is flourishing in our home.

George

Dear Mark:I will tell you that my children love the lamplighter books. Thursday, I had a day off from work and we read most of The Little Lamb together on the couch. I think I had intended to read a couple chapters, but the children kept saying “another chapter, please!”, so we kept reading. It was a wonderful relationship building day. So, I see the immense value these books hold. Anything that can keep a 5 year old daughter snuggled by her daddy on the couch is a wonderful thing!

Jason Southerland

The Hidden Hand reveals every emotion known to mankind. The reader follows anxiously after the adventures of Capitola to see what lies ahead. The saddest part of this book is when you discover there are no more pages to read!

Mark, I can’t see how a movie based on this book would not be a big success! Go for it!!JR

As an avid reader and a professional educator for 35 years, I found myself with a renewed passion for the impact of great literature. In four days, I read five of

them. I was addicted to these books. I was so inspired that I called Lamplighter to talk with someone who

could understand what this experience was like. I find myself unable to stop.

I introduced my 82-year-old mother and she is reading non-stop. I found myself jealous of her.

It is easy to become spiritually weary in Christian service. These books have spiritually revitalized me.

Dr. Carolyn Brock,, Houston, TX

June 6, 2005Dear Mr. Hamby,In February of this year you visited the CHALC graduating class of Lancaster, PA. I was so impressed by what you said about your books that I purchased all fourteen sets. All four of my children have been reading them, but my daughter, I believe, has been affected by them more than my three sons. Writing has always been difficult for my daughter because of her dyslexia; however, depth of thought has always been present. Lately, I have noticed that her writing has changed. The way she words her thoughts on every composition piece reminds me of writings of people from way back in the 1800s. One day I asked her, “This writing is good, Jen, how do you do this?”Her answer amazed me, and you would have chuckled to see her. With shoulders square and lifted, she stretched her 17-year-old, five-foot frame, loftily tiled her nose to the sky, closed her eyes purposefully, and pressed her fingertips deeply into her chest. With an unquestionable finality, she answered, “I (and she tossed her head backward) read Lamplighter books!”I showed Jen’s latest compositioning to her writing teacher. She, too, noticed the change and became very enthusiastic about guiding Jen to develop this new found talent. I have no doubt that Jen will take her writing places that no one ever dreamed she had the ability to go. Thanks, Mr. Hamby!Jen’s very pleased mother,Dora Messner

Dear Mark,My wife and I read The Hidden Hand to each other

over a two-week period, and we both agree that it is one of the finest books we have ever read. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I was especially encouraged by the providence of God that is "seen" throughout the book, thus the title. The divine appointments of the Spirit-led life make me smile and give me great joy.

God bless you, Mark, and your ministry. Thank you for the treasure of The Hidden Hand!

In Christ, Bill Ketts (Jeremiah 10:23)

A bruised reed he shall not A bruised reed he shall not break, and smoking flax break, and smoking flax shall he not quench…shall he not quench…


(prisoners)(prisoners)

Sarah Edwards knew how to make her children regard and obey her cheerfully, without loud angry words, much less

heavy blows. She seldom punished them, and in speaking to them, used gentle and pleasant words. If any correction was necessary, she did not administer it in passion; when she had

occasion to reprove and rebuke she would do it in few words, without noise; she had need to speak but once; she was cheerfully obeyed because she convinced her children of the

reasonableness of her request; murmuring and answer again were not known among them. The kind and gentle treatment they

received from their mother, while she strictly and punctiliously maintained her parental authority, seemed

naturally to…promote a filial respect and affection, and to lead them to a mild, tender treatment of each other.

Quarrelling and contention, which too frequently take place among children, were in her family unknown.

She carefully observed the first appearance of resentment and ill will in her young children…

showed her displeasure and suppressed it to the uttermost; yet not by angry, wrathful words, which often provoke children to wrath…Her system of

discipline was begun at a very early age and it was her rule to resist the first, as well as every

subsequent exhibition of temper or disobedience in the child…wisely reflecting that until a child will obey his parents he can never be brought to obey God.

Samuel Hopkins, in Marriage to a Difficult Man, the Uncommon Union of Jonathan and Sarah Edwards.

Hello Mark,In January of 2006 I ordered sixteen books to increase our Lamplighter library. Within a week I read six books. The next week I read another six. The impact these books had on my life was astounding. I felt myself draw closer to our Almighty God and experienced His love and grace through these powerful stories. My character also became more Christ-like through the inspiration of the characters in the books. Mary and her father (The Basket of Flowers), Gertie (The Lamplighter), and Musdale and Daddy Ragsdale (The Open Door) have inspired me to be a more devoted Christ follower, more appreciative of my husband with an increased desire to meet his needs, and more sensitive, compassionate and loving towards our children. Thank you for making these books available to us and the countless others in the world. May God bless you as you forward His Kingdom.Appreciatively, Terra

Dear Lamplighter,I am 12 years old and wanted to express my feelings towards The Hidden Hand, Ishmael and Self-Raised. The Hidden Hand is the best book I have ever read. All the suspense, humor, action and godliness make it #1 on my list. I was absolutely inspired by this book. I also was captivated by the purity, humbleness, and servant-heart of Ishmael. I could not put it down. These three books have influenced me and my parents greatly. I am sure they will be in the library in heaven!One of your many fans,MichelleP.S. I lent The Hidden Hand to my grandfather who is recovering from heart surgery. Reading the book led to a spiritual renewal in his life. He has since bought 2 copies for his brother and sister!

Mark,I just felt the need to drop you a note of thanks today for your and Lamplighter

Publishing's efforts with the Rare Collector books. The first book we ever purchased was "Teddy's Button" a few years back at the NCHE conference in Winston Salem, NC. We read this book as a family. As a pastor, I also had many in my church read this book. For the past several years, my wife and I have been purchasing Rare Collector books for our children's personal libraries when they are ready to leave home. I have read many of these books that we purchased for them. I told my wife they are going to have to leave those books in my home and visit us in order to read them. Two of the books that I read recently were "Ishmael" and "Self-Raised." I have this morning finished reading "Self-Raised." I am so glad I bought both of these books together. As soon as I finished "Ishmael," I began reading "Self-Raised." That book caused a flood of emotions to arise from my heart. At one point, you find yourself nearly in tears, and then at other times, you are nearly laughing aloud. Those books are so suspenseful and at the same time weave a biblical message. To me, it is a story of perseverance as Ishmael faces adversity, but with God's help, there is absolutely nothing that he cannot accomplish. Young people today need role models such as Ishmael Worth, who live life according to the Word of God and depend upon Him for every need.

I have never read a bad Rare Collector book. To be honest, it is hard to label one as better than the others. I cannot wait to begin another one of these wonderful books. I am not sure where you guys find such books to publish, but please keep up the good work. God bless you and Lamplighter Publishing, ,Pastor Jeff McCann, NC

Susan,We received the order just this morning, and my son and I have already read the Hedge of Thorns; we could not wait! We were so pleased to find the story to be everything we have heard and read about. What a blessing! Additionally, the embossed book covers are exquisite! We are looking forward to collecting more wonderful works of your Christian literature for our son's library. Hence, I have also found a wonderful gift idea for my great nieces and nephews!

What a blessing you are to all of the families who want character-building literature for their children! The contemporary writings found in the local bookstores ( I loathe to call it "literature") are simply frightening. Thanks to all of the staff at Lamplighter for seeking and answering the need for quality literature for the families of this country, when our country is so aimlessly wandering further and further from the teachings of our Great God. God bless everyone at Lamplighter Publishing!

Sincerely, Colleen

Dear Mr. Hamby,I started reading The Hidden Hand last night and stayed up until three o'clock in the morning reading because I simply could not put it down. I finished it the next day. The Hidden Hand is on my top list of favorite books. I would love to be more like role models in this book. They have also improved my writing style and my vocabulary…Rachel

“My wife and I read the Hidden Hand and believe it is the finest book we’ve ever read!” Bill

“Not only was I profoundly moved, but half way through Ishmael, I set the book aside so I could savor it a little longer. I did not have the same self control with its sequel, Self Raised. Thank you for offering these literary gems. I continue to recommend these to books to everyone.” Nicole

My 14 year old daughter's life has been extremely transformed as a result of "The Lamplighter", House of Love, The Wide Wide World, and countless others. We value these books more than our food. No joke. Thanks a million!!! About My Father's Business, Joan

Dear Mr. Hamby,Dear Mr. Hamby,I have read a handful of books in the Lamplighter I have read a handful of books in the Lamplighter Rare Collector Series and have not been Rare Collector Series and have not been disappointed yet! My children also have loved disappointed yet! My children also have loved each book we have read. My all-time favorite has each book we have read. My all-time favorite has been Helen’s Temper. I have two girls who are been Helen’s Temper. I have two girls who are very similar to Betty and Louisa; this was evident very similar to Betty and Louisa; this was evident after finishing the book when one daughter shed after finishing the book when one daughter shed an obligatory tear and the other cried for nearly an obligatory tear and the other cried for nearly and hour. It has been a great tool to remind them, and hour. It has been a great tool to remind them, as well as myself, to check our attitudes. Are we as well as myself, to check our attitudes. Are we being a Betty or Louisa? As a family we are being a Betty or Louisa? As a family we are enjoying each book tremendously.enjoying each book tremendously.Sincerely,Sincerely,J. C.J. C.

Jonathan:I'll try to keep it short but it will be difficult. To say I am sorry does not express what I would like to say to you. I do not know a word that can properly reveal my anguish of heart. To treat you as I have I feel so blind; rather retarded, and totally numb.That's a good description; insensitive; controlling (nothing new),miserable (especially during Thanksgiving and Christmas, and I don’t know why! Stress, pressure…). There are a host of words I can choose. you get the picture. My desire for you to turn out godly and My desire for you tosucceed, but this has outweighed my unconditional love for you. This is not good and has been the source of conflict. My desire is also called blind selfishness. Jonathan, if you turn out ok it will be a miracle! I have been so damaging to you. Someone should have given me a powerful sleeping pill and woken me up after you had children. Now, before you think I am the only one guilty in all of this, you know better. Some of your actions and words have been very provocative. However, if you can begin to see a real change in me, you will know that you too can have victory by God's grace. Son, I am determined by God's grace that you are about to experience the father that you dreamed for. Now I know that it is easy to say these things but I am beginning to understanding something that I didn't understand before. I have been fighting you, when I should have been praying for you. I have been responding in anger when you needed understanding. I, I, I , I , I have fallen….but a just man falls down seven times and rises again. I am determined by God’s grace to rise so you will have a father to follow. May your heart heal and may your spirit experience unshackled freedom. I am committed to just being there for you when you need me. No judgment, no nothing (unless you get an earring or tatoo! that mightget things stirred a little!):) In closing one finance lesson: you need to accumulate assetts. The onlyassett to your name is your first album. worth about 4,000 today. Do another one and you double it! simple math. let me know if you want to do this over Christmas.I love you, Dad

“Within a week I read six Lamplighter books. The next week I read another six. The impact these books had on my life was astounding. Terra”

“I intended to read a couple chapters of Little Lamb, but the children kept saying “another chapter, please!” It was a wonderful relationship building day. I see the immense value these books hold. Anything that can keep a 5 year old daughter snuggled by her daddy on the couch is pure gold! Jason”

“Lamplighter books are having a tremendous effect on me and my family. Grace is flourishing in our home. George”

“My wife and I read the Hidden Hand and believe it is the finest book we’ve ever read!” Bill

“I was profoundly touched by the book True to the Last. I COULD NOT put it down. When I finished, I was sobbing. My prayer after reading this was, “Lord, make me more like you...”

“Dear Lamplighter: I am at my desk at work and I am in tears. It’s more than I could describe.

Lamplighter, Every teenager in the world needs to read Hand on the Bridle…if I had read that when I was a young teen it would have changed the direction of my life!

The book White Knights is the best book for boys we have ever found. In fact, we are writing parts of the story on their bedroom walls! Thank you for supplying us with godly role models!

“Dear Mark, I wanted you to know that my 7-year-old daughter prayed that the Good Shepherd would find her after she listened to A Peep Behind the Scenes. Two weeks later she came to us and said the Good Shepherd had found her. So I can say first hand that the Lord is using the stories to draw people to himself.”

“Dear Mr. Hamby, Lamplighter’s ministry of building character one story at a time has been greatly used by God. The Lamplighter books and dramas have had a huge effect on our family.”

“Mark, we’re listening to Lamplighter Theatre and we’re hanging on every word as well as moved to tears. We hope and pray that God provides the resources necessary to keep this part of your ministry going - it’s a great blessing!”

Lamplighter Theatre

Tasting the Miracles Tasting the Miracles

My brothers and sisters in Christ, I invite you to join me behind the scenes to My brothers and sisters in Christ, I invite you to join me behind the scenes to experience the miracles. This is about much more than experience the miracles. This is about much more than books, seminars, dramas, radio, and the Guild. Children are coming to Christ and books, seminars, dramas, radio, and the Guild. Children are coming to Christ and adults are learning to endure adversity as God's assignment for true adults are learning to endure adversity as God's assignment for true transformation. Missionaries in Muslim countries are being encouraged, tr ibes in transformation. Missionaries in Muslim countries are being encouraged, tr ibes in Uganda are sit t ing around the radio hearing the uniqueness of Christ 's law of love, Uganda are sit t ing around the radio hearing the uniqueness of Christ 's law of love, children in Singapore are learning to speak English while at the same t ime learning children in Singapore are learning to speak English while at the same t ime learning that they need a Savior, women in India are finding hope as they're rescued from that they need a Savior, women in India are finding hope as they're rescued from despair, parents are learning that humility is the foundation for authority, and so despair, parents are learning that humility is the foundation for authority, and so much more . . . so much more! My desire is to keep f i l l ing the pots with water and much more . . . so much more! My desire is to keep f i l l ing the pots with water and serving our best to the world so that they can learn about the one who is st i l l serving our best to the world so that they can learn about the one who is st i l l turning ordinary pots into vessels of celebration. Would you prayerful ly consider turning ordinary pots into vessels of celebration. Would you prayerful ly consider serving with us? How, you ask? Here are four ways you can be involved:serving with us? How, you ask? Here are four ways you can be involved:

Introduce Lamplighter Ministr ies to your church leadership to see if they would Introduce Lamplighter Ministr ies to your church leadership to see if they would make Lamplighter books and audios available for their congregation. make Lamplighter books and audios available for their congregation. [email protected]. Help us f ind corporate and individual sponsors to [email protected]. Help us f ind corporate and individual sponsors to produce the next Lamplighter Theatre drama. produce the next Lamplighter Theatre drama. Contact [email protected]. Provide a full or part ial scholarship to enable a Contact [email protected]. Provide a full or part ial scholarship to enable a student who needs f inancial help to attend the Guild. student who needs f inancial help to attend the Guild. Contact [email protected] with questions. Ask about becoming a Contact [email protected] with questions. Ask about becoming a Lamplighter representative at conferences, churches, schools, bookstores, and Lamplighter representative at conferences, churches, schools, bookstores, and libraries. Contact [email protected]. l ibraries. Contact [email protected].

God’s judgment is to the God’s judgment is to the 33rdrd and 4 and 4thth generation; his generation; his

mercy is to a 1000 mercy is to a 1000 generations!generations!

Ex 34:7; Deut 7:9Ex 34:7; Deut 7:9

Dear Dad: It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real connection with Stacy and she is so nice. But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercings', and the fact that she is much older than I am.She really is perfect for me and she told me that she would like to start a family right away. Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 and I ready to take on this responsibility. Someday I'm sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Love, Your Son, John

PS. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card, that's in my center desk drawer.

I love you. Call me when it's safe to come home.

Perspective

strong willed parent!

Presentations & Public Speaking