guui september welcome 2010

8/6/2019 GUUi September Welcome 2010

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contentsEditorial

Hello and welcome to Glasgow,Scotland’s nest University and

home to the world’s best StudentUnion, the Glasgow UniversityUnion.

Here at Glasgow you’re in fora fantastic treat, this is the onlyuniversity in the UK that has twoStudent Unions and, as such, bothhave amazing line-ups and hand-picked fresher helpers who’ll betrying all week to convince you

that their Union is number one!

Don’t be intimidated by everyonerushing around trying to pull youin different directions, just go withyour instincts and have a chatwith our helpers (they’ll be wear-ing yellow all week), they’ll bewilling to offer advice and chatabout anything.

Freshers’ Week may seem a littleintimidating, but as long as youget out and about, chances are thatyou’ll have a great week. Glasgowreally is a vibrant place and you’d be hard-pushed to have a badtime.

So get out there and I wish you allthe best for your Freshers’ Week!

Ross Cook Convenor of Libraries

Convenor of LibrariesEditor in Chief Ross Cook

Sub EditorGregor Muir

Contributing WritersNicola Armstrong Ross Cook

Joe FitzgibbonMichael GrayCameron Greig

Natalie Jack Hollie JonesOrla McGowanGregor Muir

If you’d like to contribute to theGUUi in any way; editorially,writing or photography e-mail: [email protected]

The opinions expressed in thispublication do not representthose of the GlasgowUniversity Union.

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the president - Colin Woods says a few words.

introduction - Welcome to Glasgow.

a - z - 26 of the most important things you’ll

ever have to know...

superheroes!

history - A quick history of GUU.

orientation - A guide to the GU Student Bodies.

the rector - The GUUi gets an exclusive inter-

view with Charles Kennedy.

games - A guide to all the most common drink-

ing games played at Glasgow.

food - Culinary delights.

music - An introduction to Glasgow’s music

scene.

debates - Debating at GUU.

advice - Freshers’ Week to do list.



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Hello and welcome to the University of Glasgow and to the Glasgow University Union (GUU).

My name is Colin Woods and I am the President of GUU.

Coming to university is a daunting experience, however, I’m sure it will also prove to be the most rewarding. The

opportunities which the University of Glasgow offers to meet new people, to take part in sport, and to gain a degree

of the highest quality are unrivalled.

Here at GUU we pride ourselves on making sure that your time at here is as much fun as possible. The GUU is a very

special place; a place I feel is unique. If you can name anywhere else that boasts Debates, Games, Live Entertainment,

Bars, Catering, Shops, Libraries, a Nightclub and a Billiard Hall - all in one place - then let me know, but I am sure

you will struggle to do so! There is something for everyone here, and, if you don’t nd something you like, then let

us know and we’ll see what we can do.

The GUU is student run and with you in mind; so if you ever want a chat about what we do, or you have an idea

of how we could do it better(!) then come and see us. My ofce is on the rst oor by the Debates Chamber and I’m

always free for a chat.

I hope your Freshers’ Week in the GUU is as much fun as mine was; and I look forward to getting to know as many

of you as possible over the next 12 months.

Colin Woods

President

Glasgow University Union

the president



- 4 -GUUi

H

ello all of you beautiful Freshers and welcome

to Glasgow, Glasgow University and the Glas-

gow University Union. Throughout this Fresh-ers’ week, we here at the GUUi will be offering you all the

friendly advice and information you need to get the best out

of your years in Glasgow. The unavoidable masses of the Un-

ion’s fresher helpers in yellow T-shirts are here to make sure

that your time in Glasgow gets off to the most wonderful y-

ing start in the world. Ever.

Now some of you may know Glasgow like the back of your

hand, but for many of you moving to Glasgow will be a whole

new experience. Whether you are staying at home, in student

halls or in a private at, there is no excuse for not getting in-

volved with everything that Glasgow has to offer.

Glasgow rightly has a reputation as a friendly

place, a reputation we here at the Union pride

ourselves on maintaining and extending to eve-

ryone who walks through our doors. You may

have been told a thousand times that the peo-

ple you meet during your time at university

will be your friends for life and we here at

the Union can only verify this (as it all

happened to us).

As one of the UK’s largest cities,

Glasgow offers every student the

chance to immerse themselves

in all aspects of student life,

be it from a sporting, cultural

or artistic perspective. Glas-

gow city is unique as it caters

for three universities, making it a

fantastic place to be a student fora variety of reasons. Whether

you thrive on the unpar-

alleled sporting rivalries against Strathclyde and Glasgow

Caledonia or choose to spend most of your time sampling

the high life in the west end, shopping in the city centre orvisiting the city’s multiple museums, you are guaranteed

an experience that few other universities are able to offer.

During this week, the GUUi will bring you insights into

the Glasgow music scene and where to eat as part of our

guide to Glasgow and well as giving you an introduction to

many aspects of student life in and around the University,

lending advice on what to do and where to go and how to

stay safe while doing it all. We understand that there will

be high points and low points, good experiences and bad

experiences, but that is all part of university life. Remem-

bering this while you experience student life to the fullest

will make even the worst hangover or most pathetic exam

result seem like an experience worth enduring.

No matter what you spend your time doing in Glasgow, the

Union will be the scene of many of your greatest nights out,

the place where you will always see friendly faces and a

loc at ion for just hanging out. A large part of

b e i n g a Glasgow University student is

that you will spend time over in-

dulging yourself in the Union,

dancing until the lights

come on and singing

like and idiot, but

that’s ok, because

we are all doing it to-

gether! So once again,

welcome to Glasgow and

we look forward to seeing

you all throughout your time in

Glasgow, dancing when the lightscome on and singing like an idiot!

- Joe Fitzgibbon

introduction

W e lcome t o Glasgow



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a - z

Ais for Ashton Lane: a

cobbled street lled

with stylish bars

and restaurants that will playhavoc with your

ankles.

Bis for the Beer

Bar, open every

day and the

place to be for GUU

Games.

C

is for Cairncross

Halls, soon to

be packed withhelpers in yellow T-shirts.

Dis for Daft

Friday which

is the highlight

of the Union’s social cal-

endar, a black-tie ball at

the end of the Christmas

exams.

Eis for an extra night

of fun at Saturday’s

Hive Extra night…

Get a little closer…

Fis for Freshers’

Helpers, who

are the most

awesome people you

will ever meet.G

is for GUU, which

is your number

one Union and

the only place in the world

where it is acceptable to

be drunk before one in the

afternoon.

His for Hive,

which is where

any self-re-

specting student is seen

every Thursday night.

Iis for Independent. More

specically, Glasgow

University Union Inde-

pendent, or, the GUUi. Jis for Just A Minute,

run by the Debates

Committee this

Freshers’ Week. Kis for Karaoke, in

the Union every

club night.

Lis for Libraries - the

GUU has two of

them! Open all year

to students.

Mis for Murano

Street Student

Village, the larg-

est of the Student Halls and

the venue for some of the

best at parties you’re liable

to experience.

Nis for

nine Bars

in the

GUU... See if youcan name them all. O

is for Otago Lane,

which has a tea

shop resembling

something from Harry

Potter. Perfect for vegetar-

ian food and teas of every

avour.

P

is for Pound Wednes-

days, on a selection

of drinks throughout

the year!

Qis for Queen

Margaret Halls,

the most modern

halls with a wide range of

facilities. Ris for the River Kel-

vin, which is great

for a post drinking

walk to sooth your hango-

ver.S

is for Sauchiehall

Street, which is lined

with bars and clubs to

suit everyone’s needs.

Tis for take-away,

which is a must

after a Thursday

Night Hive, especially

cheesy chips from Koh-I-

Noor and onion rings from

BBQ Kings.

Uis for Under-

ground, which

is a tiny take

on London’s subway

system, perfect for a

‘Sub-Crawl’.

Vis for Viper, which

is the smallest club

known to mankind. Wis for Wolfson Halls, pretty far

away but bound to be worth it

for the friends you’ll make.

X

is for the extension.

A place you will

come to love.

Yis for yellow T-

shirted GUU helpers

to help show you a

good time this week.

Zis for zero, which is a

number you will all come

to know well in relation to

your bank account.



- 6 -GUUi

superheroes

Have a heroic

Freshers’ week!

W

e here at the GUU know about having a good time (responsibly, though, of course), that’s why this year our

Freshers’ Week theme is Superheroes. Our own fresher helpers will be donning yellow T-shirts adorned

with their very own Batman logo. The helpers are organised into teams (not unlike the X-Men; however

nothing like the Justice League of America), and they will be rushing around your halls of residence and the University

campus making sure that your week runs smoothly. They may seem like a rowdy bunch (especially in the evenings), but

they’ve been hand-picked because of their energy, personality and approachability. Don’t be afraid to go to them with

any dilemma that you might have, be it help moving in or just directions, remember that they’re here to help you.



- 7 -

history

of the Citizen’s Theatre, and who the Bridie Library is named

after, was sitting in the Secretary’s room, when he decided he

would like some entertainment. Bridie asked the President

of the Union to provide some, and a piano was promptly set

up in the Committee Room. Soon so many people arrived to

join in the playing and singing that the piano had to be re-lo-

cated to the Dining Room. The festivities continued all night,

ending with breakfast the next morning. From humble be-

ginnings, Daft Friday has gone on to become a legendary

twelve-hour black-tie ball. Every year months of work go

into preparing for one night, and the Union closes for a week,

ready to be transformed into a magical themed building for

one night only. The theme is a closely guarded secret until

the night, when it re-opens for 12 hours of fun and dancing,

and breakfast is served from 6.30 – the original spirit of Daft

Friday living on!

In 1914, the outbreak of the First World War meant that many

students from Glasgow went to ght on the continent. The

University asked permission for the students to join the same

unit, and the Debates Chamber hosted a meeting for recruit-

ment to the Cameron Highlanders. One Company of the 6th

Battalion Cameron Highlanders was made up almost entire-

ly of students from the University. Over 700 of the 3,400 stu-

dents and alumni who fought in the war lost their lives.

During the 1920s the union ourished. Dances became in-creasingly popular with the ever-growing membership. By

1926 it had been decided that a new building should be built,

as the old Union building was no longer sufcient for its

members’ needs. An architectural competition was set up,

the winners being John Arthur and Alan MacNaughtan, who

designed the beautiful building standing at the bottom of

University Avenue today. In 1928 work on the new build-

ing was begun, and in 1930, it was opened by Rector Stanley

Baldwin. The Union is still here, with the addition of the

extension, and it still fulls its initial aim; providing an ideal

meeting place for friends, clubs and societies. A place where

students can come together and socialise outside of the class-

room. - Sarah Graham

In 1885, a group of Glasgow students and graduates gathered

together to discuss plans to open a building for students to

socialise outside the classroom. The Senate and the Principal

(John Caird) were impressed by the proposals, but for several

years no work could be done beyond the design of the build-

ing by architect Sir John Burnet.

A few years later Dr. John McIntyre donated £5,000 to the

Senate, which he wished to be used to build a memorial for

his late wife. Work on the Union building could nally be-

gin. In 1889 students held a bazaar to raise money for the

Union and the Gymnasium Committee. The highly success-

ful event meant that £14,000 was raised, £7,000 of which was

to go towards building the new Union.

On the 17th January 1890, students had a chance to see the

Union for the rst time, and members began enrolling. Afew months later, the rst Union AGM was held and the un-

ion had its rst 418 members. Union life began in earnest,

with over 170 lunches being sold in the union every day. The

Union had fullled its aim to become a meeting place for stu-

dents to gather and socialise outside the classroom.

A relatively quiet few years followed, until in March 1899

two members, one a Conservative, the other a Liberal, argued

over the rectorial election, leading to a duel within the walls

of the Union. The loser was rushed to the Western Inrmary, but avoided serious injury and had the dubious honour of

being one half of the last ofcial duel in Scotland.

In 1908 the Union building was extended to provide more

space for the growing membership. This was made possible

by donations from a number of local people, who the princi-

pal, Sir Donald MacAlister had written to asking for nancial

help. A year later the Dining Room oor was re-laid, making

it better for dancing.

1909 saw the beginning of Daft Friday. The story goes that

James Bridie, then a medical student at the University, who

later went on to become a famous playwright and co-founder

A History of




- 8 -GUUi

orientation

SRC

Basically, the SRC ‘does what it says on the tin’… And then

much more besides. The council consists of elected student

members who represent students on University committees

and liaise with University staff, as well as providing a wide va-

riety of support and services to the student population at large.

To know all that they do would take a lifetime, but I don’t think

it’s too much of an exaggeration to say that they pretty much

have the answer to any (university-related) question. In addi-

tion to this invaluable omniscience, they are also responsible

for a variety of student-run media, including uni TV and ra-

dio channels. Take a wander Main-Gate-wards and you’ll nd

them tucked in by the bookshop in the John McIntyre building,

ready and willing to give you exactly what you need.

GUSA

The Glasgow University Sports Association (GUSA) seems

pretty self-explanatory too. GUSA council (elected representa-

tives) are in charge of some 48 sports clubs and societies under

the University’s big GUSA acronymic umbrella. They’re the

people to chat to about your as-yet-unappreciated aptitude for

all things athletic, or if you want to start trampoline-ing, just because you can. Or maybe you’re one of those people who

simply like to exercise... Thankfully, GUSA have something on

offer for the full sporty spectrum, so be sure to visit the Steven-

son Building to have a closer look at the many clubs’ stalls for

details of what’s on offer and how to join.

QMU

As you may or may not be aware, the campus plays host to not

one, but two Student Unions in the contrasting forms of the

Queen Margaret University Union (QMU) and the Glasgow

University Union (GUU). Originally the women’s union,

the QMU in its current form is to be found tucked up in

the corner of University Gardens. Although there are oc-

casionally live gigs, the Union also runs a musical-pick-

and-mix club night - Cheesy Pop - where you will be sure

to hear anything from B*Witched to Slipknot. There are

also 3 bars, a shop and a café. Go at least once, if only to

appreciate the décor.

GUU

The original and best, the Glasgow University Union

rst opened its doors in 1885. Originally just for men, the

grand old GUU is now a home to one and all, providing

everything a student heart desires, as well as some stuff

it never even knew it needed. You’ll nd the Hogwarts-esque GUU on University Avenue, and might not believe

me when I tell you that it houses some 9 bars, a shop, a

café, a Subway, a Dining Room, a Debates Chamber, a

Billiard Hall and a nightclub, to name but a few of the

many facilities available.

A veritable piece of Glasgow University history, it is easy

to see why the GUU has continued to stand the test of

time. The Union is run for students by students; students

who volunteer for positions of heavy and wide-rang-ing responsibility on top of their degree studies. That

the candidates rarely run for these positions unopposed

surely says it all. Boasting a whole host of famous former

members and Presidents, the GUU has kick-started many

a career, not to mention recreational reputation includ-

ing those of Donald Dewar, University Rector Charles

Kennedy, and Gerrard Butler. Kind on the current ac-

count, easy on the eyes, the GUU is a Student Union at

its very best. And did I mention Daft Friday?

So, for more information on anything mentioned and

everything not, grab a GUU fresher helper!

- Natalie Jack

Student BodiesNatalie Jack on the Student quartet, making it a little easier for you to identify

who’s who in all the T-shirts...



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the rector

W hat were your impressions on coming to the big

city?

Both sides of my family were born and bred in Lochaber, go-

ing back centuries. But my mother’s upbringing was in Glas-

gow, and her sisters and brothers were there, so our holidays

were always in Glasgow as youngsters.

At Lochaber High School, I was in the team for the

Scottish Schools Debating Championship, the nal of which

was held in Glasgow University Union. We got to 3 nals in

a row, so I became well acquainted with the Union.

Glasgow was the city that I attached myself to, and

still is. There was never any question of going anywhere else.

Provided I got the passes, it was Glasgow or bust.

After you came to Glasgow you carried on debating, winning

the Observer Mace competition in 1982 and became very ac-

tive within the Union, including the Presidency.

From the start, I was in a very unusual position as a 1st year

because – through the debating championships – I knew a

few ex-Presidents, Secretaries of the Union and Debates Con-

venors. I was incredibly well-connected with the “Ofcer

Class” and learned a lot about GUU, and about debating as I

went along. That stood me in good stead as I became Debates

Convenor, then President.

As much as the degree is a nice thing to have, what

I learned in the debating chamber and the Union boardroom

has really been what I’ve drawn upon in the 30 years of my

career; the politics, the communication, the administrative

experience.

Your degree was joint honours in Politics and philosophy.

Yes, with 3 years of English Literature before then, so I did 5

years. These were the halcyon days; you could do an honoursdegree and take an extra year and get fully funded. If you

failed a year, you simply repeated it, or if after 3 years you

decided to change course, you could.

I could have taken an ordinary degree in English,

but I wanted to do Honours. It appeared easiest to do Poli-

tics and Moral Philosophy because there was a lot of overlap.

Because the Presidency wasn’t a sabbatical, it was a way of

creating a cushy Junior Honours year, so you could indulge

yourself, knowing that you weren’t missing too much. I had

a little help from the Professor of Moral Philosophy at that

point, Robin Downie, who remains a great friend, and who

just happened to be a Vice-President of the Union, and the

other Vice-President of the Union, Farquhar Gillanders, was

the Registrar of the University. I beneted from friends in

high places at every level.

I believe you once said if all else fails, you’d move into poli-

tics.

Ah yes. That was one of my English professors. The academ-

ics were very indulgent, because we were winning competi-

tions for the Union and University nationally and interna-

tionally, and that was great. But they did want to give me a

degree, and for that they do need to see you once or twice a

year! And you do have to hand in the minimum amount of

work.

So I was called in for a pep talk, during which he

said very sweetly, “Well, if all else fails and you don’t get a

degree, what do you want to do?” And I’d said, “Journalism

or teaching” and he replied, “Well with you, if all else fails

you can always go into politics.” When I got elected, I got

this lovely handwritten note from him saying, “Dear Charles,

many congratulations on your most unexpected election to

the House of Commons. I can only assume that all else has

now failed.”

You were elected as Rector in February 2008 following an

impressive list including Stanley Baldwin, Austen Cham-berlain, the late Jimmy Reid. Do you think the position still

holds such a level of gravitas?

Interview with Charles KennedyGregor Muir gets up close and personal with GUU former

president, Liberal Democrat MP and University Rector.



- 10 -GUUi

the rector

I think it can do. It would be premature to offer any assess-

ment of myself. But my experience in the last 2 and a half

years, doing this role that I’ve loved, is that if you put the

time into it, then what you can get out of it is extremely re-

warding.

I’ve been very struck by the way that the student

bodies, and the University authorities, take the Rector seri-

ously - if they feel the Rector is taking them seriously. You

do genuinely have inuence over events at the Court, and in

other ways; in one-to-one dealings with the Clerk of Senate,

the Principal, the Secretary to Court, and the various student

Presidents.

Your involvement with the Union has spanned quite some

time. In what ways has the University changed?

One of the things that struck me when I stood for Rector

was the fact that GUSA, GUU and QMU all came together in

support of my candidacy. In my day, that would have been

unheard of. There’s a completely different atmosphere, and

it’s a very good one, across the student bodies. Sure there’s

competitiveness, but the degree of co-operation is very good

indeed.

The University authorities do listen to the student

Presidents and ofce bearers, and they are much more in-volved than we ever were, when there was a real “Us and

them” atmosphere. Now, the relationship that the Clerk of

Senate, the Principal, and the Secretary to Court have with

the various student organisations is much better - informal,

but mutually respectful - and long may that continue.

It’s all part of the natural evolution of it, I guess. And it was

in your term of Presidency that women were rst permitted

entry to the GUU.

Yes, that a huge hot potato in my time. I was the President

that had to implement the mixing of the Union. That was

almost like a civil war on campus, but that’s all moved on

completely now.

There are still big challenges for the student bodies,

and the University as a whole. We’ve just had the restructur-

ing, and the big thing now is how government cuts are going

to lter through. We looked at various projections before the

summer, and whatever way you look at it, it’s going to be un-

believably tight. Ambitions will have to be put on hold, par-

ticularly things like capital expenditure. Difcult decisions

will have to be made.

We will be tested to the full from this autumn onwards, but

what is encouraging is the genuine desire of the university to

prune its budget where it has to, but not to cut on teaching

and research. Research is essential to bring in investment, the

teaching is essential obviously for the students. Part of my

task over the next 6 months will be to keep a beady eye on all

that, along with the student reps.

The greater interactivity between the Unions, and that will-

ingness to work together should make a huge difference, con-

sidering how difcult it’s going to be.

Denitely. Absolutely. I think they were working well any-

way, but it’s the old story, when there’s a general threat out

there, you better hang together, because the alternative is youcould hang apart. My job is to help facilitate that.

Do you have a message you’d like to pass on to Freshers

here?

GU has a terric campus and educational standing, but my

own experience and that of many others, is that the more you

can get involved in the non-academic side of life as well, the

better. Down the line, that’s going to count for as much as the

academic experience, as employers will ask “All right, yougot the qualications, but what else did you do? Were you in-

volved in sport, or student politics, or student unions? What

clubs or societies were you in?”

My advice would be, throw yourself in at the deep

end, and enjoy, and you will nd you are much more likely

to swim than sink. - Interview by Gregor Muir

Charles Kennedy being ‘gunged’ during the Rector Campaign 1980



- 11 -

games

S

cotland loves a drink. Many felt a patriotic tingle in

their liver when NHS Scotland announced that Scots

drink 24% more a year – the equivalent of around

120 pints more – than their counterparts in the UK. Alco-

hol is undoubtedly a signicant part of Scottish culture

– from whisky and Tennents to rampant alcoholism. While

in European cities binge-ing and sprawling on the streets is

socially contemptible, here the experience becomes an an-

ecdote of pride. If anything, university meets these asper-

sions and amplies them.

Your university drinking experience will, however, be

unique: from teetotallers to those who spend their student

load on wine. Yet there is one activity that helps unite Bac-

ardi and beer drinkers alike round a single table, a sight

which helps eliminate student sobriety: the traditional

drinking game.

For some this will merely be a continuation of school so-

cialising or their gap year chundering, yet for newbies it is

wise to be prepared, get in the know and have your wits

about you. Learn the rules and you won’t have to down

that delicious pint in one. Your dancing will deteriorate

slower as a result. You’ll keep your dignity. After all, noone wants to be ‘that guy’.

Let’s start with the classic: ‘Ring of Fire’. One pack of cards,

face down encircling an empty glass. Then let the fun com-

mence. It helps to predetermine the rules, which a drink-

ing expert will know by heart. As there are local variations,

it helps to write these rules down – forgetfulness can set

in after a few vodkas mixed with cheap cider and tequila,

and rule arguments are tedious and limit playing time. The

basics are, of course, picking a card and drinking in the re-quired way. It never fails to disappoint.

If more than four rules feels complex, then ‘21’ may be a

game suited to your intellectual level. With ‘21’ the prima-

ry school challenge of counting is transformed into fun for

all the family. There is, however, an exciting teenage twist.

While counting round the circle, saying two numbers chang-

es the direction. Three numbers skips the next player. Any

hesitation is deemed as ultimate failure, and requires the

downing of one’s drink. The player who reaches 21 faces the

same fate, yet the regular inability of certain friends to count

provides a never-ending source of greater entertainment.

Similarly structured is ‘One Frog’, in which the phrase ‘one

frog jumped into the bog, plop, splash’, is repeated, ad nau-

seum, one word at a time by each participant. To prevent this

from becoming tedious, the number of frogs increases each

round, thus requiring the repetition of each word an extra

time. This presents an opportunity to witness the drunken

deterioration of language and memory – a dual opportunity

for failure, mockery and drinking.

‘Never have I ever’, is a drinking game with an ice-breaking

advantage. Each member, in turn, states a deed they never,

ever have done, leading those who have to take a drink. This

can reveal the moral depths of your new found friends – for

the GUUi’s veryown guide to...



- 12 -GUUi

The following information is, therefore, vital to your own

health and safety: A held beverage, into which a copper

coin is dropped, must be drunk in full by its owner. The

word ‘held’, and its appropriateness in each case, is often a

cause of dispute. However, it is best to man-up and return

the favour when their glass is full.

When tired of games, when the units are building up and

the cards are soggy, it is often the time that colleagues will

start singing. Love or loathe such behaviour, you may wish

to propose a song of greater originality than Bohemian

Rhapsody. Therefore learning the words to ‘We Love You

Glasgow’ are of extreme cultural importance, as is the

dance routine and extended version of ‘Singing in the

Rain’. Listen and learn. Whether you know your drinking

games or not, rst year will be a time of broadening your

alcohol related horizons – all for better or worse. Yet while

doing so, I advise leaving silence to the churches at prayer,

the saddened funerals and old ageing pub dens.

better or worse. However, the predictability of student sex

obsessives often results in imaginations running dry. That’s

when you may wish to abandon the usual drinking games

and get creative.

Like in Blue Peter, you can create drinking games out of little

bits of spring, cardboard and plastic. Simply get some cups,

half ll them with beer, nd a throwable object and you’re

off – you’ve made yourself ‘Beer Pong’. A great American

export, Beer Pong is usually played with a ping-pong ball

across a table. Two triangles of cups – usually in 15 or 10

– are set up at either end, encouraging players to

throw the ball into their opponent’s cups. Suc-

cessful attempts result in the downing of the

beer in question. On a rainy afternoon, Beer

Pong can brighten up your day.

Another way to get creative is to mess about with

the normalities of all the games previously men-

tioned. A common method is initially electing a

Chairperson. Such a participant has nal say over

rules and house order, as well as announcing any

amendments. An example would be ‘International

Consumption Rules’, which requires drinking lefthanded, all members addressed by their surname

or an ofcial game name, alongside the prohibition

of pointing and swearing. Reprimands should be

automatically enforced. After all, it doesn’t cost to

be polite.

Yet an instance of intense rudeness is the

convention of ‘Coining’. My rst Beer Bar

experience involved being ‘coined’ twice.

My unfamiliarity with the rules resulted inthe downing of several Tennents pints & cre-

ated an uncanny mix of beer and a previous chicken korma.

games

You’re a student. Enjoy yourself and separate

the slurring lightweights from the sturdy Hive

regulars, combine tables of strangers in unity

and create a welcome distraction from poor football

or rugby. Play a few drinking games before a night out,

be drinkaware.co.uk and never mix curry with too much

beer.

- Michael Gray



- 13 -

food

GUU. Tasty, fresh, cheap and on the doorstep. Need I say

more? (Yes, but I have a 500 word limit).

A hop, skip and a gander up Byres Road will bring you to

Hillhead Bookclub on Vinicombe Street. Brunch and lunch

will both cost you less than a ver and it ranges from pan-

cakes and honey (or bacon) to soups and sandwiches. For

dinner, think bangers and mash and steak and ale pie

(the menu informs us that ‘chef tastes all ale prior to

cooking, sometimes even during’). Boozing chef,

good food, even better atmosphere. Result. But if

you’re still not happy, nip around the corner to

727. (For details, read the info on BBQ Kings.

But change the name).

Last but not least we have University Café on

Byres Road. If grease is what you want then

grease is denitely what you’ll get. The menu

ranges from sh suppers to fry-ups, as well as an assort-

ment of deep fried fancies. Open since 1918, (it looks like

the dust has been gathering since then) Uni Caff is the per-

fect time-warp. It even sells penny mixtures. As if this isn’t

enough, it boasts award winning homemade ice cream.

This place subsisted The Great Depression and The Blitz,

the least we owe it is a pat on the back and the occasional

pit stop for a tin of Irn Bru.

- Nicola Armstrong

There is denitely no shortage of places to eat in Glas-

gow, be it tea and cakes with the Grandparents or

drunken après-Hive chips and cheese. Because I’m

not a tea and cakes kinda gal, and because everybody who’s

anybody loves chips and cheese, we’ll start with the latter.BBQ Kings on Great Western Road offers mouth-watering

pizzas and lip-smacking kebabs. Not to mention the delec-

tably crispy chips. Well, not exactly. It could be that good,

but I’ve never been sober enough to nd out. Nonetheless,

BBQ Kings is cheap and cheerful and has been keeping the

drunkards of the West-End happy since the mid-1990s. Oh,

and the staff are awesome. Go there enough and you’ll start

getting freebies. (It slightly disgusts me that I know that.)

Also deserving of a mention is Koh-I-Noor on Gibson Street.

Best. Pakora. Ever.

On a similar note, standard wise, I bring you the food you

hate to love: McDonalds. A free cheese burger or McFlurry

with every meal makes it every student’s guilty pleas-

ure. Most Maccy D’s are open from 5am to 3am leav-

ing just two hours for a quick sweep ‘n’ mop (and

probably a spit in all the burger buns). Nonethe-

less, Maryhill Road McD’s is an ace hangover

hangout for all those at Murano Street.

As far as burgers go, however, Ketch-

up on Ashton Lane is the undisputed

champion. With 2-for-1 student deals,

Ketchup is great value for the hefty por-

tions you’ll receive. During term-time it tends to be pretty

busy, so give yourself plenty of time to eat. On that note, if

you have the time to spare, I’d recommend a venture into

town to Bar Bloc on Bath Street. Although it’s renowned for

it’s free live music and Sunday night open mic, it should be

celebrated for it’s pizzas. At £7.95 for two, you can probably

still afford a beer from the vast draught selection. On the

other hand, if you’re looking for something slightly closer

to home, you can eat on the go at Subway in our very own

Nicola Armstrong introduces some of Glasgow’s nest eateries.culinary delights



GUUi

music

It may be a cliché but Glasgow

truly is the heart of Scotland’s

music scene. It is also in the

privileged position of being the

one Scottish city to appear on

most bands’ UK tour dates and

as such, boasts an incredible

collection of live venues across

the city. Each venue is unique and has

its own particular ambiance and history.

Everyone has their own favourites, but

those of note include: The Captain’s

Rest (my favourite!), King

Tuts, Glasgow Barrowlands, SECC, The

Classic Grand, ABC, Nice ‘n’ Sleazy,

Oran Mor, 13th Note, Stereo and the

Academy. There are also a number

of independent music stores around

the city which are heavily involved

with the local music scene. The two best known

and best stocked are the Glasgow store of Avalanche

Records, recently rebranded as LOVEmusic (by Queen Street

Station) and Mono which is also a wonderful cafe/bar/venue

(on Kings Street, opposite the 13th note). They both deserve

all your money.

Having spent the past six months studying in the Nether-

lands, I feel a bit nervous talking about Glasgow’s home-

grown talent, and with daily gigs at venues across the city

you could easily get your musical x from those touring their

foreign melodies without hearing a single Glaswe-

gian note. Given the sheer quality of Scottish mu-

sic grown and/or broken by Glasgow, however,

that would be a mistake. The Glasgow music

scene is exhaustively covered by a multitude of

sources: the most useful of which include printpublications such as The Skinny, blogs such as

Ayetunes and podcasts such as Glasgow Pod-

- 14 -

cart. With their help, many bands have managed to y

the nest and bring their music to wider audiences.

One such band who have recently own from their Glas-

gow nest (burrow?) are Frightened Rabbit, an indie-pop

folk outt who have, over the course of 3 albums, mas-

tered the art of introspective lyrical romanticism and

subtle pop hooks, underpinned by acoustic swells and

captivating dynamics.

Another would be the Twilight Sad, who started out

doing some ridiculously experimental nonsense in the

shadows of the basement of the 13th Note. Their mel-

ancholic noise-drenched tunes can now be found

oating about the world, or on two albums

worth of noise-pop perfection.

It would be wrong to round up this

short introduction to Glasgow’s music

scene without mentioning the night

life. Whatever you look for in a club,

Glasgow probably has it on offer. The

Cathouse will even let you dance to industrial metal if

you really want to.

Otherwise, the Sub Club will let you dance to the sound-

track of the front line of music in one of the most respect-

ed and loved clubs in the world. The Art School’s club

nights provide wonderful electro and cheap drinks and

is well worth a look-see, while the Arches host events

such as Death Disco with the most incredible line-ups

you could hope for. Finally, Buff Club deserves a

mention as it must be the only club in the

world still playing motown and swing.

If you like music, then you have come tothe right place.

- Cameron Greig

Cameron Greig on Glasgow’s thriving music scene.City of Music



- 15 -

debates

Are you living life through an inarticulate malaise of

stuttering sentences? Are your conversations too

poorly formulated for publication in The Sun? Just

don’t do talking too well? If so, debating at the GUU is for

you.

The art of public speech can transform your oration from

Ozzy Osbourne to Obama, but that is not all. Debating – one

of the cornerstones of this great institution – fulls your vast

social, intellectual & drinking needs. As a lost, little fresher,

look no further.

While other rst years are sampling the

delights of a night in with youtube, cheap

pasta and monopoly, getting out, going

to the Union, simply doing something

interesting, is the way to go. It’s a choice

between the stale suffocation of average

student groups – hallelujah singing, com-

mon interest sharing and dull conversation

– and something diverse, engaging and

provocative.

Socially, it’s a way of getting out and meet-

ing new people at university, from different

backgrounds with different perspectives.With a variety of events on campus, across

the UK and abroad, it’s more than just an evening of chat. In

Freshers’ Week there’s ample chance to sample the ambiance,

with welcome events and the mighty Freshers’ Week Debate

at 9pm on Saturday – noted for it’s fairly famous outside

speakers and free booze into the night. Prior warning should

be made for all these events that debaters are not normal peo-

ple. Lawyers, let loose from the library, attempt to integrate

into mainstream society this way. They try their best. Most

talk is thoughtful, some is entertaining, and all the time thereis a constant fear that those around you may end up running

the country.

While providing laughs on dreary nights, there is no end to

persuasion as a social skill. Boris Johnston, through persua-

sion, created a list of female friends willing to do his wash-

ing. If you want garment washing groupies, practice your

gift of the gab at the Student Union as young Boris did. It

works. Other practical applications for freshers include when

convincing your mates to go out/buy drinks/pay for taxis,

when forced to speak in tutorials and in altercations with

bouncers. When saving money and saving face, oratory air

can save the day.

‘The art of public speechcan transform your ora-tion from Ozzy Osbourne

to Obama, but that is notall. Debating – one of thecornerstones of this greatinstitution – fulls yourvast social, intellectual &drinking needs. As a lost,little fresher, look no fur-ther.’

‘All ne and well’, you might say, ‘this ar-ticle has convinced me to debate, but I can

argue with my mental Aunt over the phone.’ That’s true.

However, does your Auntie have her very own Parliament?

Are her parties any good? Does she have a house like the

GUU? Does she have big cups in the hallway to demonstrate

her greatness? Hopefully not, as these are the original aspects

of GUU debates.

Firstly, the Union’s lavish Parliamentaries – held 5 times a

year - are the home of lively and extreme party debate. Join-ing one of the ve parties may be the rst Glasgow gang

you have ever fought beside. Debate can be equally brutal as

The world of Debating at



- 16 -GUUi

Glasgow’s notorious ganglands. It was previous custom to

throw items at speakers. Due to PC culture, intimidation is

encouraged in verbal form and new speakers are treated with

some respect, at least for a while.

Over the decades, many of Britain’s greatest speakers blos-

somed at said events; yet their success was spurred on

through other experiences. The reason the GUU has pro-

duced successful politicians is simple: they all attended Post

Debate Parties (PDPs) and shared free alcohol with their

friends. This led to their popularity, and eventual election.

John Smith, Donald Dewar, Charles Kennedy – it worked

every time. Whether you’re looking for fame, power, glory,

alcohol, or something to do after lectures, Parliamentaries (&

the welcome event) are a good place to start.

Like Ash in Pokémon, it is important to train up before such

a challenge. It’s natural to be SHIT (Substandard, Hesitant,

Inconsistent and Talentless) without previous practice or ex-

perience. Yet fear not. That’s why Speaker Training sessions

take place each week. They provide a chance for the great

and the good to pass on condence tips (and a little knowl-

edge), to stargazing youngsters. It’s difcult to jump into the

adversarial nature of debating, especially if English or Glas-

wegian isn’t your rst language. So instead, being thrown

onto centre stage, Speaker Training presents an X-Factor like boot camp to build up your condence and get to grips with

the whole thing.

Speaker Training often revolves around ‘Inter Varsity’ or IV

debates, which the GUU is, modestly, the best in the world.

Ever. The GUU has won the World Championships 5 times.

That’s why there is an elephant statue near the Libraries. It’s

also why the GUU takes part in competitions across the UK

and the world. The GUU – being generous, gallant and gor-

geous – helps provide the funding for these events, which setsGlasgow apart from most other debating societies, as well as

any other societies on campus. Last year saw the GUU send

teams to Turkey, the Netherlands and Ireland, with the 2011

World Championships taking place this December in Botswa-

na. Botswana beats Magaluf, Mali and Milngavie combined.

Ross ‘Guns’ Mitchell – Convenor of Debates at the GUU – de-

scribed debates as follows: ‘Debating in the Union isn’t just

about having something amazing for your CV - it’s about

being part of a community, a fantastic social scene and will

give you the skills to take you through your university career

and beyond.’ Or, to quote a less bulky Napoleon Dynamite, ‘I

don’t even have any good skills. Girls only want boyfriends

with great skills.’ Debating is a skill. If nothing else has con-

vinced you thus far of debating’s social utility, remember,

Napoleon knows debaters get more action.

Bear all this in mind during Freshers’ Week, when there

shall be an endless stream of promoters & pamphleteers at

your ear. Monotone clubs will be desperately dragging you

towards a life of underdressed underagers, of dark techno

rooms & ice-lled drinks. Yet there is another way. The GUU,

where you’ll nd students, music, cheap food, drink and

general merriment, is unlike anywhere else in Glasgow. Be-

coming involved in debates is one of the best ways to become

involved in the Union and is one of the best ways to beginyour time at Glasgow.

- Michael Gray

debates




- 17 -

advice

Attempting to write up some kind of Freshers’ Week to do list is a rather daunting task due to the fact that

Freshers’ Week is often looked upon as one of the most random and messy weeks of one’s life. The idea of

carrying around a check list, even one carried mentally, is a challenging prospect. As such, here is a list of

obvious things to do:

1. Get involved. For many of you this will be the chance to make rst impressions on your new atmates, so don’t

stay in your room or no-one will ever like you. Even if you consider yourself to be a shy person, just navigate yourway into that kitchen, get chatting and get participating in the multitude of ridiculous things on offer. Everyone is in

the same boat, so get aboard and sail on down to the Union for fun and games. YOU HAVE TO DO THIS OR YOU

WILL HAVE FAILED.

2. Go to the fairs. There are a number of fairs on during Freshers’ Week. These allow the clubs and societies to set up

stalls vying for your attention, attempting to get you to sign up to their obscure club/sport/society by enticing you to

them with awful throw-away nonsense like hats and sweets. You’re bound to nd something that interests you, and it

is a chance to get out of your at and explore the campus a little. Not to mention all the free crap you get! It’s great.

3. Get facebook. It’s not big and it’s not clever, but it is a little bit essential. It is also useful for remembering/ndingout peoples’ names which is impossible when you are meeting around 300,000 new people every day.

4. Be tolerant. University offers a chance to meet folk from all over the place, so try not to judge people too quickly.

Especially your atmates.

5. Explore. You have nothing to do all week so go for a wee explore. This will also help when attempting to navigate

your way around at night when you miss the fresher buses.

6. Go to your course and registration things. Literally the only thing you have to do all week so just do it, all right?

Also means that everyone gets an awful hungover matriculation photo.

7. Go out. You only have one Freshers’ Week. Even if you spend the next few years trying to gatecrash the other

Freshers’ Weeks, it is not yours and it is not the same. This is yours. Don’t waste it. Go out. YOU ALSO HAVE TO

DO THIS OR YOU WILL HAVE FAILED. (I accept that this is very similar to the rst point but that is because it is so

important.)

8. If you have any questions then ask a fresher helper. They wear recognisable T-shirts to make them look/feel im-

portant and will be more than happy to help.

Anyway, there is some vague advice. I was late for my course stuff and didn’t get facebook until half way through

second year. I did have a great week though. The most important thing is to enjoy yourself. It is a great week so just

get yourself into it and have a whale of a time! Go! - Cameron Greig

Freshers’ Week

To Do List...

guui september welcome 2010

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