I AM LOVED

EPHESIANS 5:22-3322 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the Head of the church, His body, of which He is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

EPHESIANS 5:22-3325 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the Word, 27 and to present her to Himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

EPHESIANS 5:22-3328 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30 for we are members of His body.

EPHESIANS 5:22-3331 “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

32 This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

GENESIS 2:24

24 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”

The big idea here is LOVE. Six times in this short section the

word “love” is used.

In our culture, love means you get to do whatever you want. According to the Bible, love is a great mystery.

Here’s the big idea for the Christian: there is no

understanding of love apart from the Person and work of Jesus.

And so He says that God’s love is shown for us like

a bride and a groom.

Jesus’ love for the church is like a groom’s love for the bride. It’s this

timeless, amazing, devoted and perfect commitment, covenant, and

affection.

Jesus loves all of His people collectively together as the church

—it’s like a bride and a groom.

Only God in Jesus Christ loves perfectly, loves humbly, loves continually, loves unselfishly, loves generously all the time

without fail.

Here’s the good news: if that love comes from Jesus, that longing

for love is met, we are loved perfectly.

That allows us to start loving others with the love that we

receive, and it means we don’t have to be in a relationship.

We can be single, like Jesus was, and still be satisfied because the loving relationship exists whether

or not we’re in a dating relationship.

FIVE WAYS JESUS LOVES THE CHURCH

1. HEAD

Jesus loves us as our Head. The Head is the preeminent. That means that Jesus is in charge.

He’s in authority.

For our church family, very practically, what this means is: it doesn’t matter what I want,

it doesn’t matter what you want, it doesn’t matter what we want.

The question is, what does He wants? What does Jesus say?

The church belongs to Jesus, and ultimately it’s to be governed by His Word. If He wants something, then that should be done. If He doesn’t

want something, then that shouldn’t be done.

It’s your church. You’re the leader. This is about you.

And as you know, decisions get made in your head, so Jesus is the

One who makes the decisions. Jesus is the One who leads.

Jesus is the One who is preeminent.

2. SAVIOR

He loves us, as our Savior—that He is Savior of the church.

We are sinners and we need a Savior. We’re not good people

getting better; we’re bad people getting worse.

We cannot save ourselves. This means that religions do not save,

philosophies do not save, spirituality does not save, morality

does not save.

We need someone apart from the system, someone who is unstained and untainted by sin, someone who is perfect to enter in and to save us

—to come as a rescuer.

JOHN 14:6

6 Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

3. GIVER

He Loves us as our Giver. That’s one way that He loves. It says that

Christ loved the church and He gave Himself up for her. Our world

knows nothing of this.

Love is a commitment that compels us to act, and part of that

action is giving. It’s generosity.

What do you give your time to? That shows us who or what you love.

What do you give your energy to?

That shows us who or what you love.

What do you give your possessions to? That shows us who or what you love.

What do you give your wealth to? That shows us who or what you love.

— who or what you love. Jesus loves the church.

Whatever cause you’re into, in two thousand years it will be over. Whatever organization you are committed to, in two thousand

years it will be over.

Whatever nation you were a citizen of, in two thousand years it

will be over.

But if Jesus has not returned in two thousand years, there will

still be the church of Jesus Christ.

We’ve been going for thousands of years. We’re the biggest thing that’s ever been: more nations, more cultures, more countries, more languages, more people are part of the movement of Christianity

than anything in world history.

It’s because Christ loved the church, and He gave Himself

up for her.

4. SANCTIFIER AND CLEANSER

He loves us as our Sanctifier and Cleanser. We are dirty, and we are defiled, and we are unclean, and

that’s the result of our sin.

Jesus is Sanctifier and Cleanser. He’s there to clean you up and

help.

5. NOURISHER AND CHERISHER

He loves us as our Nourisher and Cherisher. A lot of this language of

loving a woman like Jesus loves the church is about cherishing and

nourishing.

Jesus cherishes His people like a good husband adores his wife.

He nourishes His people like Jesus nourishes, encourages, builds up

the church.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR A WIFE TO SUBMIT

AND RESPECT LIKE JESUS?

EPHESIANS 5:22, 24, 3322 ”Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” 24 “Wives should submit to their husbands.”33 “Let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

1 Corinthians 11, 1 Peter 5, Colossians 3

1. It does not mean that the wife is less valuable, intelligent, or

competent.

Both men and women bear equally the image and likeness of God. They have equal dignity, value.

In addition, it doesn’t mean that men are more important than

women. That’s not true.

It doesn’t mean that the husband is more intelligent than the wife. This has nothing to do with I.Q.

It also doesn’t mean that the husband is more competent in certain things than the wife is.

The man is the head of the home and the leader. The wife is

intelligent. She is gifted. She is capable and competent.

2. This does not mean that men, in general, are to be ruling over

women in general.

It doesn’t mean that we’re not talking about gender issues; we’re

talking about marriage issues.

We’re not talking about every single conceivable role for a highly

competent, intelligent woman; we’re talking about architecting the family

like Jesus leading the church.

Our goal is to raise competent, Godly, intelligent, well-educated women, and then marry them to

men who are up to the task.

3. It does not mean that the wife does not have independent

thoughts.

She has her own thoughts. Sometimes those thoughts are different from others’ thoughts.

Any of you married men notice this trend? It doesn’t mean that a wife

doesn’t have independent thoughts. She does have independent thoughts.

4. It does not mean that the wife cannot seek to influence her

husband.

PROVERBS 19:14

14 Houses and wealth are inherited from parents, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.

GENESIS 2:18

18 The LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

But she’s to be a prudent, helpful, Godly influence. Of course a

woman should seek to influence her husband, absolutely.

That’s one of the reasons that God brought them together. He needs

help, and she can be helpful.

5. This does not mean that the wife does not express her

thoughts and feelings.

Just do so in a respectful way so that you can help influence your husband, rather than picking a fight, and declaring war on him, and getting into the crazy cycle.

6. This does not mean that a wife ignores all of her husband’s flaws, but that she begins by encouraging those aspects of his character that

are respectable.

You want to be married to a man that you respect, and you, as you’re

married to that man, find things that you don’t respect.

And to help those areas that you don’t respect, you want to

encourage those areas you do respect to help him to grow into the man that God intends for him to be.

This doesn’t mean that a man is flawless and without sin. It means that the woman approaches him in

such a way to help him become more like Jesus. That’s what it

means to respect.

7. This does mean that a wife sets a pattern for others to

respect her husband.

Women who publicly disrespect their husbands encourage others

to disrespect their husbands.

This doesn’t mean you don’t disagree with your husband but you do so respectfully, privately.

8. It does help guard a woman’s tendency to distrust, to despise,

to disrespect her husband.

Eve is tempted to disrespect the man and to take matters into her

own hands.

The result is the world in which we live, where marriage is not going well, and people are not staying

together, and we’re in a real free fall and a crisis.

9. This does mean that she takes her cue from the Trinity and

Jesus.

In the Garden of Gethsemane

before He is to be crucified, the Lord Jesus has this anguish-filled

prayer to the Father:

“If it would be possible to remove this cup, this cup of suffering, then do so, but not My will, Your will be

done. Your will be done.”

Ladies, to respect and submit

is to be like Jesus.

WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR A HUSBAND TO

LOVE AND LEAD LIKE JESUS?

1. Are you a good or bad head?”

One of our great values at FCC is that men take responsibility, as

Christ did.

They are to first take responsibility for themselves, then they can

marry. They can consummate their covenant and devote their life to

loving their wives.

2. Men, we are not the highest authority.

In authority over us are the elders of the church. Above us is the

government. We may break the law, we go to jail, get restraining order for

domestic violence, and things like these.

We submit to higher authority of government. There’s God’s Word

above us. We’re under the authority of Scripture.

Above it all is the resurrected ruling and reigning Lord Jesus. We’re not the highest authority, men. We have delegated authority, and it is to love

women and children.

3. Men, we are to love our wife, not just be in marriage.

The goal is to love your wife as Christ loved the church. It’s easy to get married. It’s really hard to love

your wife as Christ loved the church.

4. Your most important human friendship is with your wife.

Our friendship with Jesus is our most important relationship, but our most important human friendship is

with our wife.

EPHESIANS 5:21

21 Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

They know one another, they love one another, they work out their

differences, and they make memories together.

5. Love your wife and not just what you hope she will

become.

Jesus comes and says, “I’m going to love you, and My love is

going to change you.”

Don’t love who your wife can be; love who your wife is and see

who she becomes.

6. Love your wife, whatever comes your way.

7. Men, we have to be tough and tender to love our wife as Christ

loved the church.

Christ is tough with false teachers, heretics, those who would come to hurt the church. He’s very tender

with the people of God.

We need to be tough for our family and tender with our family.

8. As the family leader, men, we take responsibility for the well-

being of the family.

9. She is a garden; you are the gardener.

What you don’t need is another garden. You need to be a better

gardener.

The best thing is to love your wife as Christ loved the church—to be a

good gardener and to pull up whatever weeds come; to nourish, to cultivate, to cherish your wife.

And if God should grace you, children He gives you. And then, increasingly

over time, your home will become more and more like a fruitful garden

where you’re glad to be because there’s life, health, and joy.

But it means that the work never ends, just like a gardener’s

work never ends.

CONCLUSION

For those of you who are married, I want you to think and pray on

these things. For those of you who are single,

90-plus percent of you will marry.

Ladies, don’t marry a man who doesn’t love you.

Don’t marry a man who doesn’t love Jesus.

Don’t marry a man you don’t really respect.

Don’t marry a man whom you wouldn’t trust to make decisions

for your family.

It’s better to be single than married and miserable.

Men, don’t marry a woman unless you really build a friendship with her and want that friendship to

continue for the rest of your life.

Don’t marry a woman who doesn’t love Jesus.