influence skillls
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Influence Skills Friday April 5, 2013TRANSCRIPT
Andrew L. Urich, J.D.Puterbaugh Professor of
Ethics & Legal StudiesOklahoma State University
405.744.8619
Influence SkillsThe Power of Influence
www.andrewurich.com
Can I Influence You?
McDonald’s Coffee CaseIs $3 Million Reasonable?
www.andrewurich.com
Idea #1The Facts Don’t Matter………
If No One Believes You
The FACTS don’t matter!– Politics– Marketing vs. Finance
Literally a matter of life and death.
Ability to influence is a key to success.
www.andrewurich.com
Idea #2People Are Annoying
I am a hypocrite.
I play favorites.
I interpret rules in a way that benefits me.
I have been known to ignore rules that get in my way.
I like people better if they like me.
www.andrewurich.com
Idea #2People Are Annoying
I like my ideas better just because they’re mine.
I think it’s fun to say “no” when I have the power to do so.
You cannot change how I see the world.
It is important to me to look good in the eyes of others.
I don’t even know 1/10th of 1% about anything, but I think I know everything.
www.andrewurich.com
Idea #2People Are Annoying
I like to be “right.”
I love to say “I told you so.”
I hate to admit I’m wrong even in those rare situations when it looks like I might be.
Here’s how I make decisions: I decide what I want the answer to be – and then make up the logical reasons to support my decision.
www.andrewurich.com
Idea #3Conflict Is Underrated
Everyone wants to participate in decisions that affect them.
Dispersion of power causes conflict and growing pains.
Conflict identifies opportunities for improvement.
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Idea #4Authority Is OUT – Influence Is IN
Use competence and commitment instead of position and status.
Team building and leadership are not based on authority.
We are influencing all of the time – positively or negatively.
The sign in PS 101 My daughter wants to go to Vegas Authority at Tinker Air Force Base
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Idea #5When is “Sucking Up” actually “Sucking Up?”
It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them feel.
My neighbor’s pictures Baby pictures The IT people
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The Advantage of Ethical Influence
“A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” -- Mark Twain
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Keys to Influence & Informal Negotiation
Strategy for Success: Plan in advance!
A little preparation saves the day.
It’s not always what you do say – it’s often what you don’t say.
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Keys to Influence Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning 1. Overcome communication blockers.
(First, get them to listen)
2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).
3. Become a persuasive messenger. (Be likeable and look the part)
4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.(Make them feel good about you)
5. Get control of information and misinformation.(It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)
COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS
If They Aren’t Listening…
It Doesn’t Matter What You Say.
www.andrewurich.com
Communication BlockersMultiple Choice Question
a) U.S.D.A.
b) A.A.A.E.
c) OSU Ag College
d) K Fed
www.andrewurich.com
Communication BlockersMultiple Choice Question
a) U.S.D.A.
b) A.A.A.E.
c) OSU Ag College
d) K Fed
www.andrewurich.com
Limit the Impact of Your Point of View
Are you impacted by experience? (Driving Rule of Relativity)
Are you assuming everyone should think like you?
Could you be wrong?
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Overcome the Bias of Others
What stereotypes might they have about you?
How can you outflank their bias?
People can only hear and incorporate things they understand.
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Learn to Open Closed Minds
Things are exactly as people choose to see them.
Is it important enough to care?
Value diversity.
Win/Win Opportunities
Managing the Impact of Self Interest.
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Factor in the Interests of Both Sides
How will the other person profit from your relationship?
Can you make the other person’s job easier?
Can you help the other person appear better in the eyes of his/her superiors?
www.andrewurich.com
Win/WinMake the Pie BiggerInstead of Arguing About How to Slice It
Win/Win is an attitude.
– 62% believe in the fixed pie fallacy.
– Pay close attention to their concerns.
– Use creativity, diligence and enthusiasm to identify new options.
Win/Win Attitude
Ka-shing
Become a Persuasive Manager
Be Likeable and Look the Part!
www.andrewurich.com
Learn to Become EVEN More LikeableWe prefer to comply with the requests of people we like.
We like, trust, and believe people who like us.
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Learn to Become More Likeable It’s not fair– but people judge you by your appearance.
Well-Dressed People are Perceived As:
– More productive
– Responsible
– Personally acceptable
– More intelligent
– More honest
– Hardworking
– Taking their job seriously
– Being raised properly
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Learn to Become More Likeable
Consistently search for similarities between yourself and those with which you deal.
Develop the habit of giving sincere compliments.
Familiarity and contact enhance liking.
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Learn to Become More Likeable
Listening and taking an interest in the other person
Friendliness
Body language – smiling, nodding, leaning in, eye contact
People like optimistic and enthusiastic people.
Avoid Conflict and Confrontations
Make Them Feel Good About You.
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You Will Never Prove Them Wrong
Have you ever done it before?
Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?
How would you feel if someone proved you wrong?
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Avoid Confrontations
What they say – has a lot to do with what you already said.
Their life experience is different than yours.
Focus on the issue – don’t make it personal.
Be very considerate.
www.andrewurich.com
Keys to Influence Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning 1. Overcome communication blockers.
(First, get them to listen)
2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).
3. Become a persuasive messenger. (Be likeable and look the part)
4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.(Make them feel good about you)
5. Get control of information and misinformation.(It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)
www.andrewurich.com
Summary of Influence and Persuasion The Ten Most Important Things to Remember
1. The most important thing – do they like you?
2. The other most important thing – break through communication blockers.
3. Authority is out – influence is in.
4. Planning influence opportunities in advance can lead you to great success.
5. Look for Win/win opportunities.
www.andrewurich.com
6. You have a point of view.
7. Do not underestimate self-interest.
8. You will never prove them wrong.
9. It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them feel.
10. Good relationships provide power, security and success!
Summary of Influence and Persuasion The Ten Most Important Things to Remember
www.andrewurich.com
References
Ailes, Roger. You Are the Message. New York. Doubleday, 1988. Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: Science and Practice. 3rd Ed. New York: Harper Collins, 1993. Cohen, Herb. You Can Negotiate Anything. Secaucus, N.J.: Lyle Stuart, 1980 Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster,
1989. Dayton, Doug. Selling Microsoft. Holbrook, MA., Adams Media Corporation, 1997. Fisher, Roger and William Ury. Getting to Yes. New York: Viking Penguin, Inc., 1981. Forsyth, Patrick. The Negotiator's Pocketbook. London: Alresford Press Ltd., 1993. Johnson, Spencer. The One Minute Sales Person. William Morrow, N.Y, 1984. Karrass, Chester L. Give and Take. New York: Harper Collins, 1993. Karrass, Chester L. The Negotiating Game. New York: Harper Collins, 1992. Kozicki, Stephen. The Creative Negotiator. Pyrmont, Australia: Gower, 1993. Lewicki, Roy J., et.al. Negotiation. 2nd Edition. Burr Ridge, Il.: Irwin, 1994. Nierenberg, Gerald 1. The Art of Negotiating. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1995. Paul, Richard. Critical Thinking. Santa Rosa, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 1993. Schoonmaker, Alan N. Negotiate to Win: Gaining the Psychological Edge. Englewood Cliffs,
N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1989.