listening skillls - final

8/9/2019 Listening Skillls - Final

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Responsible, patient listening is a rare

thing, but it is a skill that can be developed

with practice.


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` To gain information.

` To get feed back.

` To participate in anothers story.

` To hear of their experiences and insights.` To be in control (information is power)

` To broaden our horizons (to learn)

` To create a relationship.

` To respect and value others.


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` We spend up to 80% of our conscious hours

using four basic communication skills.

Writing

Reading Speaking and

Listening

` Listening accounts for more than 50% of our

time !` 40% of our walking time is just listening!


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` Casual or informal: You usually don't need to

remember details.

` Active, or formal: This type of listening takes

concentration and requires that the listenerabsorb details.

` Nonverbal listening.


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` Listeners need to prepare themselves.

` They must concentrate on both the verbal and

nonverbal message of the speaker.


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` Listen to yourself! efore you can be an effective listener you have to

ensure you are ready to listen. Assess your mental, physical and emotional

states.

` Remember you are there to listen! Many times people in crisis need to talk through

their problems, not get advice on how to solve

their problems. If you arent sure if the person wants you to justlisten or give advice ASK them!


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` Focus on the persons train of thought.

Avoid thinking about your response or other non-

related things until the person is finished

speaking.

` Remove distractions.

If there is a distraction (TV, music, someone else in

the room) remove the distraction if possible so you

can focus.

If you cant remove the distraction, schedule a time

when you can focus on their concerns.


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` Silence isnt bad! Dont always rush to fill in gaps in conversation.

These gaps can be important for the individual to

gather their thoughts or express themselves

emotionally.

` Listen with your eyes! People communicate information through

behaviors in addition to what they say.

Pay attention to body language to help understand

their feelings.


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` Refrain from being judgmental. Empathy doesnt mean you agree with the person,

just that you have identified and understand how

they are feeling.

` Uncomfortable conversations. If you have difficulty keeping your beliefs from

interfering with your ability to listen, let the person

know the topic is too sensitive for you.


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` Maintain eye contact when it seems appropriate.

` Use minimal encouragers such as Uh huh andI see to communicate you are payingattention.

` Paraphrase what the person has said to you andask questions to fill in gaps. This will not only help you understand, but help the

person think through their concerns and express theiremotions more effectively.

Acknowledge that you understand their thoughts aswell as their feelings.


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` Listeners are influenced by The speaker,

The message,

Other listeners,

Physical conditions,

And finally their emotional state at the time of the

listening activity.

` While the first three cannot be controlled by

the listener, the last two can.


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` 55% of a person's message involves nonverbal

communication,

` 38% of the message derives from the

speaker's voice inflection,` 7% of the message involves the actual words

spoken.


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` Listening enables us to gain important

information.

` Listening enables us to be more effective in

interpreting a message.` Listening enables us to gather data to make

sound decisions.

` Listening enables us to respond appropriately

to the messages we hear.


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` Reflecting

` Encouraging

` Summarizing

` Clarifying` Restating

` Validating


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` Purpose To show that you understand how the person feels.

` Action

Reflects the speakers basic feelings.` Example:

You seem very upset.


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` Purpose To convey interest.

To encourage the other person to keep talking.

` Action Dont agree or disagree.

Use neutral words.

Use varying voice intonations.

` Example Can you tell me more?


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` Purpose To review progress.

To pull together important ideas and facts.

To establish a basis for further discussion.

` Action Restate major ideas expressed, including feelings.

` Example

These seem to be the key ideas youveexpressed


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` Purpose To help you clarify what is said. To get more information. To help the speaker see other points of view.

`

Action Ask questions. Restate wrong interpretation to force the speaker

to explain further.` Example

When did this happen? Do I have this right? You think he told you to give

him the pencil because he doesnt like you?


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` Purpose To show you are listening and understanding what

is being said.

To help the speaker see other points of view.

` Action Restate basic ideas and facts.

` Example So you would like your friends to include you at

recess, is that right?


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` Purpose To acknowledge the worthiness of the other

person.

`

Action Acknowledge the value of their issues and

feelings.

Show appreciation for their efforts and actions.

` Example

I truly appreciate your willingness to resolve this

matter.


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` Thoughts are somewhere else, tuning out

the speaker.

` You think that you know what will be said

next.` Distracted by sights or activity, not

listening.

` Thinking about what you are going to say

next.` Not listening from the speakers

perspective.


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` Environmental barriers

` Physiological barriers

` Psychological barriers

`

Selective Listening` Negative Listening Attitudes

` Personal Reactions

` PoorMotivation


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` Anxious People : Because they lack confidence, they are nervous

chatterers. They worry about what theyre going to

say next, which leaves little room for listening others.

` Argumentative people : Theyd argue with Einstein about his theory of

relativity ! They nit-pick small details, which break

conversational flow.


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` Opinionated people : They spend their energy formulating arguments,

rather than listening to others. They interrupt andbegin every other sentence with but.. These

people may be overly anxious to impress others, butthey often produce the opposite effect. People tunethem out.

` Closed minded people :

The most infuriating of bad listeners : they have rigidsets of values and find security in their prejudices.Any new ideas or changes leave them feelingthreatened.


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` Look the part:

Face the speaker and display feedback that the

message is being heard and understood. Lean

toward the speaker to show interest. Maintain eye

contact at least 80 percent of the time. Do not

distract the speaker with strange facial

expressions and fidgeting.

` Listen for nonverbal messages:

Observe the speaker's body language, gestures,and the physical distance. Observe the speaker's

facial expressions, eyes, mouths, and hands for

hidden messages.


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` Sense how the speaker is feeling: To receive the complete message, it is important to

sift out any feelings the speaker is trying toconvey. Determine what the speaker is notsaying.

` Be available: To be spoken to, one must be available. Get out

from behind your desk and papers. Stop your workand concentrate totally on the speaker.

` Take notes: Jotting down important ideas allows you to reviewthe message at a later time and reinforces the

information heard/learned.


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` Provides a written record for review

` Provides a definite, limited learning task

` Forces you to pay attention

` Requires organizing, and active effort on thepart of the listener

` Listener must condense and rephrase, whichaids understanding


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` Lower your voice volume. It forces others to

listen.

` Make your talk interesting. Focus on your

listener's favorite subjecthim-or herself.Encourage others to participate by bringing

them into the conversation.

` Create the right environment. Speak where

you can be easily heard and understood.` Be human to your listeners. Address people

by name whenever possible; it helps to get

their attention.


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` Stop Talking.

` Put The Talker At Ease.

` Show Him That You Want To Listen.`

Remove Distractions.` Empathize With Him.

` Be Patient.

` Hold Your Temper.

` Go Easy On Arguments And Criticism.` Ask Questions.

` Stop Talking!

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