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Rewind A look back at 1961

Online Dating Playing the dating game

Cars After Kids Time to trade in that mini van?

Keeping Love Alive What works

Romantic Getaways Two romantic weekend ideas

Heat it Up! Get closer by cooking together

The Years of our Lives Pop culture revisited

Empty Nest NOT Empty Lives

June 23, 2011

Photo by Nick Ortiz for the New Jersey Herald

Ann and Ken Ferris of Dingman’s Ferry, Pa., relax at Badea & Soul Day Spa in Milford, Pa.

Rewind A look back at 1961

Online Dating Playing the dating game

Cars After Kids Time to trade in that mini van?

Keeping Love Alive What works

Romantic Getaways Two romantic weekend ideas

Heat it Up! Get closer by cooking together

The Years of our Lives Pop culture revisited

Empty Nest NOT Empty Lives

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by Steve Eighinger for the New Jersey Herald

REWIND <<< 1961 The Baby Boomer generation is recognized as those born between 1946-64. Here are 10 major events from 1961:

The Soviet Union built the infamous Berlin Wall that divided East and West Berlin, a structure that stood for 28 years.

1

2 “Frito” chips are introduced to the American junk food consciousness.

3 Some of the most popular songs of the year included “Moon River,” “Where the Boys Are,” “Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow,” “Blue Moon” and “The Lion Sleeps Tonight”.

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9 Soviet cosmonaut Yuri Gagarin became first human in space during a single-orbit flight. Commander Alan Shephard Jr. was later the first American in space in a suborbital flight aboard Mercury 3. Soviet space probe Venera 1 becomes the first man-made vehicle to reach another planet when it arrived at Venus.

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10 Electric toothbrushes first appear on American store shelves.

4 The Barbie doll gets a partner when “Ken” becomes a part of our pop culture.

5 Frank Sinatra formed his own record label, Reprise Records, that later give the world such groups as the Beach Boys, the Kinks and Jimi Hendrix.

Baseball Hall of Famer Ty Cobb died in July at age 74, a victim of cancer.

7 New York defeated Cincinnati in the World Series, capping a baseball season that saw Roger Maris of the Yankees hit 61 home runs.

8 Outgoing President Dwight D. Eisenhower warned of a “military industrial complex” developing in America. New President John F. Kennedy established the Peace Corps.

New Jersey Herald, Thursday, June 23, 2011

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“I think being single today is one of the hardest things in this age group,” Denise Acheson said.

Acheson, 50, is a former member of a Sussex County-based singles group, Single Active Mature Individuals, also known as SAMI. She joined after her husband of 20 years left her.

“He decided he didn’t want to be married anymore,” Acheson said.

Acheson, of Highland Lakes, is joined by baby boomers throughout Sussex County who are without a romantic partner. Whether their singledom is the result of divorce, death, or never marrying, the label is the same: single. Many single baby boomers find themselves out there again, looking for love, or at least companionship.

Dr. Christine Floether, associate professor of psychology at Centenary College who teaches courses like Developmental Psychology and End of Life Issues, believes the flocking of baby boomers to the online dating life is partially because of time constraints and a feeling of security.

“The Internet provides that anonymity and safety

net,” she said. Based on the Census Bureau1s 2009 American Community Survey, which samples 3 million U.S. households, as well as 2010 census data released so far this year, roughly 13 percent of the population was born between 1946 and 1964. The 65-plus age group will amount to nearly 1 in 5 Americans by 2030.

Boomers ages 55 to 64 are the fastest-growing age group since 2000, jumping 43 percent to about 35 million.

The number of people ages 45 to 54 also rose sharply, up 18 percent to 45 million as young boomers moved into the ranks.

Single boomers have taken to the Internet and singles groups to find love, or in the case of Sandy Mitchell, just companionship.

“I think men are fun. I love men. But I don’t necessarily want one,” Mitchell said.

Mitchell, 67, of Sussex, was a member of SAMI until the group

disbanded. The organization met monthly, with a turnout of five to 20 people at events such as hikes at High Point State Park and boating on the Hudson River.

Mitchell, who calls herself a “young 67,” really doesn’t find a romantic

relationship necessary. After a 15-year marriage and a 15-year relationship, Mitchell is more than satisfied with her single status.

“You don’t need someone else in your life to make you happy,” Mitchell said. “If you’re waiting for someone else to do that for you, you’re going to be waiting a long time.”

As the baby boomer generation edges into its golden years, dating web sites geared specifically to those 50 and older have increasingly appeared.

The fastest growing demographic on Match.com, an unofficial figurehead for online dating, is the 50 and older age group, which makes up 20 percent of Match.com users. IAC, the Internet company that owns dating sites like Match.com, launched OurTime.com, a dating website for singles over age 50, on May 10. Ourtime.com and IAC’s other dating sites for older adults have a combined number of over 1 million users.

Ken Papy, a Jefferson resident in his 70s, though outside the official baby boomer age range, is a member of Outdoor Single Friends Inc., a group for unmarried people over the age of 40.

Most of the members are from Sussex and Morris, but the group’s 150

members come from all over Northern New Jersey to participant in events.

After 16 years of marriage and five children, Papay and his wife went their separate ways. He is single again after another 20-year relationship.

Papay can only think of one difference between dating later in life and dating during the teenage years.

“It’s exactly the same thing. You just don’t have to worry about the pimples,” he said.

Some boomers find love online. John Valentino, 57, of Long Branch, is happily married to Debbie, 54, a former Marine he met online two years ago after a decade of pushing profiles and awkward meet-ups with strangers,

“I had plenty of lemons before lemonade, believe me,” said Valentino, a furniture salesman, who

willing to winter in Arizona. Others may unnecessarily limit possibilities by ruling out partners with all health issues.

OurTime, with 1 million members boasts: “At last! A dating site that not only understands what it is to be over 50, but also celebrates this exciting chapter of our lives.”

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by JESSICA MICKLEY [email protected]

O N L I N E

met Debbie through SeniorPeopleMeet.com.

Seniors and boomers often have unrealistic notions of how to hunt for love and companionship, said Pepper Schwartz, a sociology professor at the University of Washington in Seattle, sex and relationship expert for the AARP and developer of an algorithm to make matches more meaningful on the dating site PerfectMatch.com.

“People 65 or older, they’re picky in a different way,” she said. “Young people tend to go for looks, period. Older people often have a little bit more leeway on what somebody looks like, but then they have all these other kinds of requirements that may or may not be realistic.”

For example, a snowbird with a second home may be looking for a mate

The Associated Press contributed to this story


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Trade in that mini van! It’s time

for something different… or is it?

As the general manager of an auto dealership, Chris Dexter had the whole car lot to look as he pondered the choice of a new vehicle when his last child was old enough to leave the nest.

“We bought another minivan,” he said. “It seemed like a good thing. We needed the space.”

Empty-nest boomers

“needing the space?” Dexter popped open the

back of the van to show two large bags of potting soil, a beach canopy tent and a nine-foot umbrella, still in the box.

“You couldn’t do that with a sedan,” he bragged.

When the pre-boomer generation got to senior status, the typical driver would be opting for a large sedan like a Cadillac or Buick or Lincoln.

And, to a certain extent,

those cars are still popular with the boomer generation as the first of that generation begins to enter their mid-60s.

According to J.D. Power and Associates, over the past half-dozen years, the median age of new-car buyers rose from 50 to 55 with the most popular auto brands of those 65 and older being the same six brands as the popular six for younger buyers: Toyota, Ford, Chevrolet, Honda, Nissan and Hyundai.

According to the University of Florida’s Older

Driver Research and Training Center, crossover vehicles, such as minivans which are half-way between low-slung sports car and high-access SUVs, score well on the list of vehicles best for older drivers.

Those same studies show older drivers should also be looking for other practical aspects to consider when buying a new vehicle.

Among other features are comfortable pedals and seats, mirrors that can be easily adjusted, and antilock brakes.

More cars are also coming out with dynamic stability control in which a computer senses the direction the wheels are pointing and the direction the car is heading and can adjust braking and power to individual wheels as needed.

In some higher-priced models there are cameras to see what’s behind the car, infrared systems to spot hazards at night, and heads- up displays that show speed and other data directly on the windshield.

And even mid-priced vehicles now come with GPS navigation systems.

The AAA offers a free, individualized safety check called CarFit (www.carfit.org)

to guide older drivers.

Some states, such as New York, have established an Office for the Older Driver within their Department of Motor Vehicles, which provides

guidelines and education on growing old behind the wheel.

But the Boomers are also a generation that believes being in your 60s is not the time to slow down. Advances in health care, and care for one’s health, slow down the aging process.

“We’re still on the go. We still have kids; grandkids,” said Dexter. “We baby-sit a lot so we need the room for

car seats. And when our

kids come along, we can all go in the van, not take two cars.” He

said probably a third

of the customers at his dealership who are looking at minivans are “empty nesters” or “near empty nesters.”

“And about half probably stay with a van,” he explained. “As sales manager,

I hear it all the time. ‘We like the van. It’s convenient.’”

The Dexters have made a concession to modern technology. Their other car is

a Camry hybrid. “If we are taking a long

trip, just the two of us, it’ll be in the hybrid,” he explained.

And, he noted, there is also a growing segment of the Boomer generation that is looking back with nostalgia and seeking out restorations or buying and having restored the popular cars of their youth: The muscle cars and classics, such as late `50s Chevrolets or early Mustangs and Corvettes.

There are also those who are opting for newer versions of the old classics.

“We had a man in here a while ago that bought an Impreza WRX,” Dexter said of the vehicle which is Subaru’s sports car model.

“He explained it was a 60th birthday present for himself,” Dexter said. “His wife said he was into his fourth mid-life.”

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by BRUCE A. SCRUTON [email protected]

Photo by Bruce A. Scruton/New Jersey Herald

Chris Dexter, general manager of a car dealership, shows off what’s in his minivan.

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A simple search for books on marriage at the Barnes & Noble website displays almost 2,000 titles, including the classic “Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus,” the perplexedly titled, “How to Improve Your Marriage Without Talking about It” and the pun-laden “Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage.”

Data from 2009, published by the

National Center for Health Statistics, shows that half of all marriages end in divorce, so the abundance of such titles is far from surprising.

But the question remains: what makes a successful marriage? Are long-term marriages simply the result of good chemistry or must work be done to keep the love alive?

Debbie Anderson, a soon-to-be retired teacher at High Point

Regional High School, 56, of Branchville, has been married to her husband, Jim, for 30 years. The pair has two kids in their twenties.

Anderson’s theory of why the couple has maintained their close relationship over the years is much simpler, and shorter, than what is shared in self improvement books.

“We just enjoy each other’s company,” Anderson said.

The couple knew each other while attending high school, where Anderson’s husband and her brothers were friends, but the two didn’t become a couple until college.

Dr. Christine Floether, associate professor of psychology at Centenary College, stressed that although having a “shared history” with your partner is not necessary, it may make the relationship stronger. It’s refreshing, as people get older, Floether said, to reflect with someone who knew them way back when.

Floether noted that as the current generation ages, fewer marriages will reach 25-year and 50-year anniversaries, like some baby boomers and many senior citizens have. She believes that the younger generation lacks certain interpersonal skills and courting rites and rituals due to social networking Web sites like Facebook. Attention spans are shorter as instant gratification is now a reality.

“It’s a disposable generation, and an instantaneous lifestyle,” Floether said.

With Anderson, her shared history with her husband may contribute to their success, but in her opinion, it’s their mutual attentiveness to

each other that strengthens their relationship. The pair stay involved in each other’s lives, particularly through morning breakfast together and late night chats.

“I know day-to-day we’re always caught up,” she said. “Always in each other’s day-to-day world.”

The Andersons carve out time in the morning to spend together.

“He gets up every morning and makes my breakfast for me.”

It’s easy to be mean to someone you’re married to, Anderson shared, because you know that person’s likely to stick around. But that shouldn’t be an excuse to be nasty.

“Be kind to each other. Don’t be mean,” Anderson said.

Enjoying time together helps keep the passion in the marriage of Susan and Doug Zellman, of Stanhope. They go out just about every weekend, with dancing being among their favorite past times. Zellman and her husband also share a sense of humor that keeps a spark in their relationship

Zellman, a county freeholder, said her husband understands the time commitment required of her elected office, having been

municipal official himself.

“He is willing to give and take, which is a big thing,” said Zellman, who sometimes is home only once a week for dinner.

Karen Brand, 55, and her husband Charles, of Sparta, who will be married for 22 years in September, also both work long hours, making it difficult to spend quality time together during the week. But the pair are sure to make time for each other.

“It’s making it work around the parameters,” Karen Brand said.

The Brands, who often are unable to have dinner together Monday through Friday, make sure to have dinner out on the weekends.

When the Andersons’ children were young, the couple would take mini- honeymoons, a night here or a night there, just to get some alone time.

Brand believes that while passion and chemistry are important to a relationship, she echoed Anderson’s simplistic reason for her successful marriage,

“You just have to like the person,” she said. “You have to just like the essence of who they are.”

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How we met: Working on the State Plan - The counties gathered municipal representatives together in regions to work on the new state development and redevelopment plan. I was the Roxbury representati ve and Doug was the representative for Mt. Arlington. It’s one of the few good things that came out of the State Plan for Sussex County. First Date: Lunch at a small restaurant on the Delaware River. Most recent date: An evening at the Stanhope House listening to our favorite band, Street Hassle. How we keep our love alive: By dancing and going out and enjoying ourselves almost every weekend.

Susan and Doug Zellman Ages:: 60+ Married:18 years

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Three couples share how they keep love alive

Jim and Debbie Anderson Married: 20 years How we met: First met in 1972. Debbie is older. Jim was friends

with her brothers at High Point Regional High School. When he roomed with her brother Mike at Rutge rs, Debbie was at Douglass (Rutgers’ women’s college). We both told Mike we were interested in the other and he brokered the deal! First Date: We went to a cabaret theater production at Rutgers in October 1976. Debbie asked Jim. Most recent date: Dinner at The Blue Ribbon — our weekly spot. How we keep our love alive: We make time to be together whether it’s sitting on the couch watching the game or eating breakfast together every morning (Jim makes breakfast and lunch every day). We also made a pact to be kind to one another. It’s so easy to take for granted an unconditional love and be mean to the person you’re closest to. That may be the best lesson we taught our own children — don’t be mean, there’s no reason to be mean.

Karen and Charles Brand Ages: Karen, 55 Charlie, 58 Married: 22 years

How we met: Reintroduced by Charlie’s former girlfriend! First Date: Exploring (and dinner ) in Harvard Square, Cambridge, Mass. Most recent date: Dinner at Dominick’s How we keep our love alive: Respecting each other, cultivating and enjoying activities together and independently but, most importantly, sharing good times as well as difficult experiences.


Romantic getaways need not require extended time away from home. We’ve come up with two romantic weekend ideas for Boomer couples who would like to spend some time getting reacquainted after the kids move out, or just because they need a little time off from the real world.

Romance in Montague and Milford

Day One: Take a leisurely drive to Westfall Winery in Montague. Go for a free tasting of Westfall’s Rhone Blend red with deep notes of blackberry and dark chocolate or a creamy Barrel Reserve Chardonnay with subtle hints of honey and tangy tropical fruit. Tastings are offered on the weekends from noon until 5 p.m.

“Wine is unique in that it provides the perfect amount of sensory delight to enhance any romantic moment, the perfect amount of relaxation to allow us to articulate our romantic feelings perfectly, and the perfect amount of encouragement to act on our sometimes repressed romantic impulses,” said

Georgene Mortimer, co-owner of Westfall Winery.

Before you leave, pick up a bottle of your favorite sampled wine and save it for just the right moment later in your getaway.

Next, traverse the Delaware River by bridge and venture into Milford for a couples’ massage at Badea & Soul, an intimate, spirit awakening day spa.

First, your hands will be dipped in warm wax and essential oils, then you both will be escorted into the Relaxation Room, where your feet will soak in a hot bath with sea salts. After, you will enter an intimate space, where you and your partner will lie on massage tables, side my side, and experience the healing hands of Florin Badea and his staff.

Rejuvenated, take a walk around the quaint Pennsylvania town, browse the enchanting shops and galleries, and visit historic sites, like Grey Towers or the Columns Museum.

Then grab a snack to go from Jorgensen’s Deli two blocks away and take a short drive to

Raymondskill Falls on Route 209. Walk five minutes down well- traveled path – mind the slippery rocks – and perch on some smooth stones to enjoy your snack with a magnificent view of the falls.

Back in town, check in at the elegant Hotel Fauchère on Broad Street, where your room will greet you with carefully selected wine by the hotel’s sommelier, handmade chocolates made in the Fauchère’s kitchen and Fretta Italian linens, inviting you to take a catnap. Owner Sean Strub said the hotel offers “casual elegance,” “equistite cuisine,” and “a sensuous, private and memorable few days.” Less expensive options are also available at hotels 10 minutes away, in Matamoras, Pa.

For dinner, pack a picnic basket or backpack filled with artisan breads and hand-crafted pastries from The Pastisserie on Broad Street, your newly purchased Westfall wine, a blanket and a candle or two, and take a 30- minute hike – the last stretch is steep – to an overlook, known locally as The Knob. The

Warwick’s shops and eateries, visit Warwick Winery for a tour of the vineyards and a tasting, and skip lunch in lieu of rich homemade ice cream at Bellvale Farms Creamery. Sit outside the creamery at a picnic table and enjoy the tremendous vista, overlooking the entire valley.

You could also take a stroll down to the South Street parking lot, where the village hosts a farmer’s market every Sunday from 9 a.m. until 2 p.m.

Many weekends throughout the year, Warwick also offers outdoor concerts and musical events, so relax to local tunes, and finish up your weekend with a late-night movie date at the Warwick Drive-in. Bring a blanket, take a seat outside, and snuggle up as the feature film begins.

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secluded site offers a wonderful view of the historic district and the area’s surrounding mountains and river valley for you to enjoy together. Make sure to bring flashlights or head lamps for the walk back in the evening.

Day Two : Sit down to a scrumptious breakfast on the sun-splashed porch of the Water Wheel Cafe and Bakery on Water Street with savory, reasonably priced, breakfast dishes that include hand-cut toast, whole grain pancakes and a variety of specialty coffees.

After you’ve had your caffeine boost, rent a kayak, canoe, tube or raft from Kittatinny Canoes or take your own watercraft down the Delaware, finding a remote island or pebble beach along the shore for a picnic and a lazy, sunbathing afternoon.

To finish your picturesque weekend, stop in at Balch’s Fish Fry on Route 6 for dinner. While the name and setting aren’t the most romantic, the seafood and staff will help you rediscover your love you two share for good food – and each other.

Romance in Hamburg and Warwick, N.Y., an abbreviated itinerary

Day One: This romantic escape begins at Crystal Springs Resort in Hamburg, starting the day off with a golf lesson for two. Next, check in at Grand Cascades Lodge and walk down to Chef’s Garden for an epicurean fantasy, where the organic produce on your plate is planted and picked right next to you. Then indulge yourselves with a spa for two before saddling up at

Legends Riding Stables for a horseback ride amidst the setting sun. Finish your first night with a lavish candlelit champagne dinner at the four-star Restaurant Latour.

Day Two: Sleep in, order room service, then head out to Warwick, N.Y., a 15-mile drive from Crystal Springs Resort. Explore downtown

by LYNDSAY CAYETANA BOUCHAL [email protected]


a gourmet meal less intimidating.

Baby boomers who have made it through the busy years with family and careers are now taking some time to reconnect with their loved one. Many couples have already perfected their skills in the kitchen preparing countless meals for kids and family functions, but now those skills can be used to prepare a succulent dish just for two.

Some skills need to be practiced. Franklin residents Jan and Mark Coviello said they had to take a couple of turns before they were able to chop onions small enough for a sauce recipe that topped a grilled salmon steak dish they tried one night.

“We kept getting these big chunks in the sauce,” Jan, 55, said. “It didn’t taste bad, but it didn’t look to good either.”

“The end result didn’t matter,” Mark, 57, said. “The important thing was that we got to spend some time together.”

Quality time together was a major benefit of the couple’s cooking dates. Busy schedules pull couples in every direction, but according to Jim and Fran Roseman from Jefferson, “you gotta eat.”

“It was the perfect way for us to catch-up with each other,” said Fran, 52. “We would both be running around all day, all week sometimes. Then we would take one night to

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The first-time boomers Beth and George Keenan from Hamburg cooked together, it was Valentine’s Day, 1993. “We made a London broil stuffed with sauted mushrooms and wrapped in bacon,” Beth Keenan said.

“It was tasty,” George, 53, added.

Two children and a new kitchen later, the couple has gone through periods of cooking just what they knew the kids would eat, to relying on take-out to compensate for busy schedules.

Now, with their youngest heading to college, the couple plans to make time to get back to their “cooking dates.”

“It was fun, relaxing to be in the kitchen together,” Beth Keenan said.

“I liked surprising her with my skills,” her husband said.

The pair said the next time they head into the kitchen as a couple, they would probably try something exotic that they wouldn’t normally cook for dinner.

“That way we could always order a pizza if it doesn’t work out,” George Keenan said.

Cooking together as a couple has become a popular activity thanks to numerous cookbooks featuring date night recipes for couples as well as the many television programs broadcasting step-by-step instructions, making the preparation of

make something simple and talk. It helped a lot.”

According to Jim, 58, the cooking dates didn’t begin as a romantic evening. When the couple’s three children began to get older and go out for dinner by themselves, the pair found themselves alone together for the first time in a while, so they began to make dinner for just the two of them.

At first the pair would cook the standards, a pasta dish or maybe some chicken. But then when the cooking dates became a permanent event, the two began to go food shopping together, and planning their next meal by watching a cooking show. Soon they were searching for special ingredients and picking up new kitchen utensils to help with the dishes.

“It was nice to be able to cook something we wanted,” Jim said. “We didn’t have to worry about anyone else eating.”

After a while the cooking dates became more adventurous, with the help of the Food Network and a cookbook gift for Father’s Day one year. The couple experimented with sauces and pastas, sautes and pan-frying, but the most adventurous endeavor was a cheese souffle.

“We didn’t get that on the first try,” Fran Roseman said. “That may be something we leave to a night out.”

By STEVEN REILLY [email protected]

You’re at a stage where the kids are self-sufficient, away at college or out of the house. Dinner doesn’t have to be kid-friendly staples like pasta, chicken fingers, meatloaf or macaroni and cheese. It’s just the two of you at the table. Kirk Avondoglio, chef/owner of Perona Farms in Andover Township, and his wife, Mary recommended this recipe they thought would be good for couples to cook together — to rediscover cooking and enjoy the time together. The kitchen used to be the realm of Mom,

but now it’s a chance to heat things up

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Kirk Avondoglio’s Napoleon of Grilled Vegetables with Goat Cheese, Garlic and Rosemary Ingredients: 1 small eggplant 1 green squash 1 yellow squash 2 plum tomatoes (try to cut all vegetables the same diameter) 2 small logs goat cheese (sometime labeled “Montrachet”) 2 cloves garlic-chopped 4 big branches rosemary 4 tablespoons olive oil salt and pepper 1 tablespoon balsamic vinegar

Wash all vegetables. Slice all vegetables approximately 3/4 inch thick, put in bowl with chopped gar lic, olive oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Take rosemary and strip off all leaves two inches from top only, leav ing the top of the branch intact. (The branches are used as skewers). Chop rosemary leaves fine and add to vegetable mixture. Let sit up to an hour. Put tomatoes aside. Grill the other vegetables briefly on both sides — just enough to get some color . Cut goat cheese logs into 8 3 ⁄ 4 inch slices. Assemble vegetables in any order you wish as long as you have one slice of cheese in the middle and one at the top. Tomatoes are not recommended for the bottom layer. Secure your creation with the rosemary branch pus hed straight down the middle. Trim the branch to the correct height so the rosemary leaves come in conta ct with the goat cheese. Bake in a preheated 450-degree oven for 10 minutes. Place in center of each plate. Mix one tablespoon balsamic vinegar with marinade and drizzle around napoleon.


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The years of our lives

Compiled by Steve Eighinger for the New Jersey Herald

If you’re a baby boomer, you’ve experienced a lot of pop culture.

Here are some of the hits: Best 1960s TV Game Shows 1. The Newlywed Game: Even longtime host Bob Eubanks had a tough time keeping a straight face at some of the newlyweds’ answers. This is the show that gave a whole new meaning to the term “whoopee”. The amazing thing about this long-running program is how hilarious the clips from the 1960s remain even today. 2. Jeopardy!: The only drawback to watching this popular show was being in the same room with “the guy” who always thought he knew all the answers to the questions. And who cannot hum the tune that is played while contestants ponder their final answer? 3. Let’s Make A Deal: One of the most frustrating shows ever to air, and host Monty Hall

(left) always seemed to take great enjoyment when a contestant allowed a trove of riches to slip away with a bad choice. 4. Price is Right: Bob Barker gets most of the credit for being the best- known host of this longstanding show, but it was the bespectacled Bill Cullen who anchored the original for a decade. 5. The Dating Game: One of wacky producer Chuck Barris’ contributions to TV (he also gave us “The Gong Show”), “The Dating Game” was an innocent venture in its formative stages. It was always exciting to see the bachelor or bachelorette’s reaction to the date they had chosen from the other side of the partition.

6. Password: The late Allen Ludden, who was married to Betty White at the time, was the popular host of the original show. 7. Hollywood Squares: It was not the tic-tac-toe concept of the game itself that was entertaining, it was the comic answers of regular panelists such as the late Paul Lynde (right) that made the program work. 8. Match Game: The two most memorable characters from this NBC offering were host Gene Rayburn and panelist Charles Nelson Reilly.

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9. What’s My Line: Host John Daly and panelists Bennett Cerf, Arlene Francis and Dorothy Kilgallen were a Sunday night staple for what seemed forever. It won three Emmys and a Golden Globe for “best quiz participation show.” 10. I’ve Got A Secret: Another show that revolved around its host. Garry Moore was especially outstanding in his role of working with the celebrity guests who would come on the show with “a secret.” One memorable guest was Col. Harland Sanders, who founded Kentucky Fried Chicken late in life. He revealed he started the business with his first Social Security check.

1980s: The Most Influential Divas 1. Madonna : Love her or hate her, the Material Girl’s impact — music, fashion, activism — has kept her in the spotlight since the early 1980s releases of “Borderline,” “Lucky Star” and “Like A Virgin.” Madonna has reinvented herself more times than General Motors. Many see

Lady Ga Ga as a new millennium version of the pop icon. 2. Whitney Houston: Whitney was seen as “the good girl” of the decade — at least

when compared to Madonna. But a bad choice of marriage partners (Bobby Brown) and substance abuse later sent her career spiraling downward. She is the most awarded

female vocalist in history, but those honors — and that one-time amazing voice — are now a distant memory. 3. Cyndi Lauper: The quirky singer’s tie-in with the late Captain Lou Albano and the World Wrestling Federation in the 1980s helped propel her to stardom. She only

released one true hit album (“She’s So Unusual”), but its songs remain pop staples even today. “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” was arguably the catchiest

tune of the 1980s. Lauper was the first female singer to have four top-five singles released from one album. 4. Tina Turner: She enjoyed relative degrees of success before and after the 1980s, but was the release of her 1984 solo album “Private Dancer” that eventually moved her to icon status. 5. Stevie Nicks: Rising to star level in the 1970s as a member of Fleetwood Mac, she began her solo career away from the group in 1981 with the album “Bella Donna,” an effort that sold 8 million copies. 6. Pat Benatar: She ushered in the 1980s with the “Crimes of Passion” album, which featured her signature song “Hit Me with Your Best Shot.” The album also contained the controversial song “Hell is for Children,” which was inspired by Benatar reading a series of articles in the New York Times about child abuse in America. 7. Joan Jett: She is best known for her work with Joan Jett and the Blackhearts, including the No. 1 cover of “I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll.” She also left a mark with “Crimson and Clover,” and the anthem-like “I Hate Myself for Loving You.” Her status may never have reached superstardom, but she has always had a loyal following. 8. Paula Abdul: In the 1980s, Abdul rose from cheerleader for the Los Angeles Lakers to highly sought-after choreographer at the height of the music video era before starting a singing career that saw her land six No. 1 hits, beginning in the latter part of the decade. A few years down the road she landed a pretty good gig on a show called “American Idol.” 9. Cher: She branched out in the 1980s and enjoyed success in film, but still managed to offer some of her best power ballads with “”If I Could Turn Back Time,” “We All Sleep Alone” and “I Found Someone.” 10. Gloria Estefan: She became a pop, adult contemporary and Latino star all at once in the 1980s, thanks in part to both her recordings and electric stage shows.


When a parent bids farewell to the last child to leave home, it’s a moment marked by a combination of excitement, sadness and perhaps a hint of anxiety. The ensuing sense of freedom is often accompanied by a burning

loneliness and a resounding, “what’s next?”

Indeed, the outset of the “empty nest” period can be as full of uncertainty as the early days of parenthood, said Stacie Golin, an assistant professor of sociology at Sussex County Community College.

“Traditionally, one of the main roles of a married couple is the care and raising of children,” Golin said. “So, naturally, when the kids leave, things change. For the first time in a long time, there are no distractions in the house.”

For many, like Joyce Dragstedt, of Sparta, the emptying of the nest is followed by a period of self- reflection and, ultimately, redefinition.

Dragstedt gave up teaching elementary school to be a full-time mom

while her children were growing up, she said.

“After they left, I suddenly had all these extra hours to fill,” Dragstedt said.

Dragstedt, who has a 31- year-old daughter and 29-year-old son, said she filled the void with community service and church activities, as well as going back to work part-time in the office of a local school. In addition, she began to pursue hobbies like scrapbooking and sewing, she said.

Diane Carroll, of Sparta, a social worker with a private practice, said she found that she had more time to pursue her longstanding interests when her two children left the nest. Her daughter is now 30 and her son is 24, she said.

“I’ve been running and dancing for a long time, and that continued when the kids went to college,” Carroll said. “There was just ‘more time for mom.’”

The departure of kids from home can also change the dynamics of a parent’s relationship with his or her significant other, Golin said.

“Oftentimes, you have to learn to be a couple again,”

she said. “For many couples, that means doing more activities together. Sometimes, you’ll see some become travelers.”

Dragstedt said she and her husband of 36 years, Graham, who works for medical supplies manufacturer Becton Dickinson, did, in fact, start traveling more often once their children set off on their own. Because the pair made it a point to do things together when their kids were at home, the transition to the “empty

nest” period was a smooth one, Dragstedt said.

Their shared Christian faith was a strong factor as well, she said.

“When the kids were around, we still went on dates, and we pursued tennis together,” Dragstedt said. “After they left, Graham and I found that we’re still great friends.”

With the economy in a slump and jobs in shorter supply, many members of

“Generation Y” are finding it harder to leave home or are returning home for a time, Golin said.

After finishing his undergraduate work, Carroll’s son came back home and has stayed for three years, Carroll said. He is set to move to his own apartment next month and will continue his graduate studies in psychology at Rutgers, she said.

“I was thrilled to have him close again,” she said.

Of course, when the kids do move out for good, it’s

not the end of parenthood, Golin said, but rather a new phase.

“I don’t really think of it as being left alone in an ‘empty nest,’” Carroll

said. “Knowing that my kids are moving on with their lives and following their dreams is gratifying. I’m just more of the mom in the background now.”

Dragstedt said one of her greatest pleasures is visiting her son and daughter, who are both married and have a child apiece, in the Charlotte, N.C. area and Sumter, S.C., respectively.

“We’re probably going to retire close to them,” she said.

“Oftentimes you have to learn to be a couple again.”

Empty Nest doesn’t have to mean Empty Lives You shared your life with kids, now what fills the void ? Time to reflect, reconnect and reinvent

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By JEFF SISTRUNK [email protected]

Dianne Carroll of Sparta sits with her two children, Jenna and Jonathan, during a family vacation to Florence, Italy. Now that her children are 30 and 24 years old, and out on their own, she has found more time to pursue her long-standing interests, running and dancing.


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