litmus test by sneha kothawade

7/27/2019 Litmus Test by Sneha Kothawade

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Litmus TestBy Sneha Kothawade


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It was not her fault. I completely understand your feelings for her, but

Rajans mother said softly. Pressing his shoulder with her hands, she

was struggling to word her feelings. She did not have the heart to

oppose her sons decision, but it was very difficult for her to accept Simi

as her daughter-in-law.

If you want to help her, you dont have to necessarily marry hershe said

tightening her grip on his shoulders.

A decisive silence followed the statement.

I dont want to help her mummy. I want her to help you as your bahu

Rajan spoke firm.

Simi was discharged from the hospital six months ago. But nobody

could say that she was back in the colony. Unlike earlier times, Simi

could no more be spotted taking rounds in the neighbourhood park

with her friends. She would stay within the confines of her house now.

Rajan knew that convincing his mother for marriage was the easier

part. The biggest ordeal would be to approach and propose Simi. His

last interaction with Simi was fifteen years ago, when they both studied

together in the same primary school. All these years, Rajan couldnt

muster the courage to interact with her even as a friend and the thought

of proposing her would send shivers down his spine. Rajan wanted to

meet Simi, but that seemed a difficult proposition now.


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Anyways he couldnt picture himself saying those three words to her,

and to say them in Simis house would only make him more nervous

than he already was. So he struck a deal with Simis best friend Ria,

that she would get her out in the park just once for five minutes where

Rajan could express his feelings in solitude. But as Rajan was not sure

whether Simi would come to meet him or not, therefore he had

forbidden Ria to reveal the real reason.

Ria was highly unsuccessful at her attempts to pull Simi out of her

house. A stroll in the fresh air didnt lure Simi anymore like it used to.

She decided to give truth a chance before giving up.

You know Rajan na?Ria asked an uninterested Simi.

Who? The man in uniform?and she let out a giggle.

YES!and Ria laughed aloud. But she suddenly stopped in the middle

of laughing and hugged Simi tightly

You laughed! Simi! You laughed!!! Thank you GOD! Thank you Mr.

Uniform!

In that instant, Ria felt that if the mention of Rajan could bring so much

joy, then Rajans proposal could prove to be a miracle.

The last time they had chatted and laughed together was six months

ago, when they would walk in the park in evenings together. This was

the time when they would discuss their lives, and talk on all nonsense


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time pass topics, which included the boys of the colony. They had given

nicknames to all their colony boys based on their appearance or other

qualities. Like Rajan was called Man in uniform because he could be

seen wearing a blue jeans and a white shirt daily, as if this was his

uniform. Obviously Rajan would have had other clothes, but for some

reason he would choose to repeat the same dress every day.

But his uniform has changed now you know! Now he is an officer in the

bank na, so cant wear jeans. So now he wears a white shirt with beige

colored pants, daily to office. Please change this habit after you marry

him!!Ria said and immediately regretted divulging Rajans intentions

in the spur of the moment.

Marry? What? Why will I marry him?? Simis smile vanished and she

stared at Ria flummoxed and furious.

Actually, now that I have said it, let me tell you the whole thing. I was

insisting you to come out all these days because he wanted to meet you

somewhere outside. And he told me that he wanted to marry you. And I

was not supposed to tell you this! So now when you meet him, please dont

tell him that you already know!Ria pleaded.

No I wont!Simi replied and Ria hugged her saying a thank you.

No I wont meet him! Simi clarified, I dont want to marry him or

anyone. And you go and no need to come to me with his directions.

Please!Simi tried to sound as harsh she could to her best friend since

childhood.


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Ria didnt know how to respond. She knew she had goofed up big time.

The damage was now done, and it seemed irreversible. And worst part

was, she couldnt even tell Rajan the real reason about why Simi refused

to come to the park. She just told him that Simi doesnt feel like

stepping out right now. But to compensate for her blunder, she had

thought of a plan and suggested it to Rajan and convinced him to try it

once.

The best surgeon in the city is a client at our bank. If you want I could

take Simi to meet himRajan was sitting in the drawing room of Simis

house and conversing with her father. Simi was petrified from the

moment she saw Rajan at the doorstep and asked to meet Simis father.

Her father promptly agreed with a nod but added If he is the best

surgeon, he will be very expensive too. These treatments are really very

unaffordable.

Uncle, you dont worry about that, he said trying to conceal his worry

of a different kind.

Okay then you fix a date and let us know. Thank you beta, Simis father

finally granted the approval.

Simis mother had arthritis and couldnt walk around much, and her

father was in a private job. So Rajan had planned to fix appointment on

a working day so that only Simi would be able to come.

The appointment was fixed for a Wednesday and true to his

expectations, Simi stepped down from her house, alone. She had


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covered herself up completely but couldnt conceal her shapely body

contours. She was wearing shades and continued to wear them inside

Rajans car.

Let me just say it. I want to propose you. I want to marry you. An d I want

to know your response.Rajan blurted out nervously within five minutes

of starting the car.

Why? Simi said softly, curbing her desire to shout a NO. Simi was a

very stylish person with a huge wardrobe, tones of accessories and a

vanity box to envy with cosmetics from international brands. On the

other hand Rajan was someone who was on a mission to shut the shops

of the entire fashion industry. The uniformity of his dressing sense was

repelling for Simi. Today also, the day when he has to propose a girl, he

was in the same white shirt and beige pants. Simi could not repeat the

same dress in one month, and here was a man who was wearing just

one set of clothes since forever.

But apart from this, there was no other reason to reject Rajan. He was in

a government job which had made him the most eligible bachelor in the

eyes of all parents in the colony. He was also fairly handsome, and his

body was muscular and athletic. He could be spotted playing cricket and

volleyball with the kids of colony and his fitness had a seduction of its

own kind.


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Simi waited for Rajan to break the silence and respond to her why, but

he didnt and continued to drive, occasionally looking at her with the

intention to say something but not saying it.

Simi repeated her question.

Why do you want to marry me. at this stage? she said softer than

before.

I have no reason. I dont want any dowry Rajan replied, nervous than

before.

Simi could have pulled her hair at this reply. All that she wanted to hear

was that - I want to marry you because I love you. But she had

discovered now that Rajan was as bad at romance as he was with his

dressing sense. It was not as if Rajan didnt say it because he didnt love

her. Simi knew that Rajan had been one of her silent admirers since a

long time now.

Like a body guard, he would escort her from home to college, and back

to home, but keeping a distance. Stalking her was never Rajans

intention, but it was merely ensuring that she was safe. He would

assume that the distance would make him invisible but Simi could see

him standing at that magazine stall daily, pretending to read magazine

and waiting for her to come out from the college. He would board the

same university bus which she would but sit very far from her, and did

not ever make the slightest attempt to go and talk to her.


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He would have probably done the same for school if only Simis school

was not in the colony itself and so near to her home.

We have reachedRajan announced while stopping the car.

Oh so we actually have an appointment. I thought it was just an excuse

to Simi uttered, but didnt finish her sentence noticing Rajans

expression. He didnt like this question mark raised on his credibility

that he had lied to her father. Well he actually had, because this doctor

was not his client at the bank, but he had come here before, explained

Simis case history and taken an appointment. And this helped. Because

the way the doctor and Rajan shook hands with each other, Simi was

easily convinced that Doctor was known to Rajan.

Let me examine her. You wait hereand the doctor vanished taking Simi

along into another room. The wait of few minutes made Rajan more

anxious than he was for the response to his proposal. Rajan could really

trust no man in this world.

The doctor stepped out soon enough and Simi followed him. She sat on

the chair besides Rajan, but he asked her to wait outside. The doctor

said that treatment would cost up to twenty lakhs, but it would ensure

considerable recovery. Rajan paid the money for the appointment and

stepped out, only to find that Simi was nowhere to be seen. He rushed

to his car parking and was relieved to find her leaning against the car.

They were on their way back. Simi wanted to suggest that at least they

should have had coffee together. But with twenty minutes of driving


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silently, Rajan dropped Simi back to her house. Before she left the car,

he reminded her that he would wait for her reply.

How do I tell you my reply but?Simi was feeling stupid dropping this

hint to take his mobile number. Only if Rajan was not so stupid and had

offered it himself!

At midnight, Rajans mobile beeped with a text message

y do u wanna marry me?

It was from an unknown number but Rajan knew whose.

This message meant that Rajans proposal was being considered. And

now his task was to just provide some compelling reasons as the

answer to her question. But the moment Rajan thought that he had

found the right reason, some other reason would strike him and the

previous one would seem silly. He thought of many reasons but each

seemed trivial on second thoughts.

bcoz v can liv togedr aftr marg

Rajan wrote finally and pressed the send button. Six minutes had

elapsed between her text and Rajans reply.

y do u want to liv wid me?

Rajans mobile beeped again within the same minute. And reading yet

another question, he held his forehead with his hands. He was now

trying to think that what is it that she wants to hear as an answer. He


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typed, erased, typed the same thing again, erased half, and typed it yet

again and then pressed the send button.

bcoz I luv u

And Rajan was relieved that he finally said those three words. Texting

was definitely much easier. He still couldnt picture himself saying the

same thing to her face-to-face. This time four minutes had elapsed by

the time Rajans message was delivered. Improvement from before!

y do u lov me?

The mobile beeped again, within the same minute. And this time Rajan

had already guessed that this question was coming. He was so sure that

Simi would ask this, that he had already begun typing his reply.

I realy don havany rezn for dis. My luv is unreznable, uncondtnl

Rajan finally managed to reply within the same minute. He really hoped

this answer would satiate the inquisitive Simi. He knew that his

seriousness was being judged through this probe. And the message that

would come now from Simis side would be like the pronouncing of her

judgment.

meet me at 4:00 am in d park tmrw

Rajan opened the message as soon as the light flashed, before the

mobile could beep. They had to meet just three hours later. And Rajan

thought he should not sleep as otherwise it would be difficult to wake

up at the right time.


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But what would he do for three hours? He turned on his laptop and

played his favorite movie If Only. He was watching it the nth time, but

this time with the intention of learning how to be more expressive of his

love.

Quarter to four and he was already standing on the entrance of the

park. He became slightly nervous when he saw Simi coming towards

the park, towards him. Obviously there was no one in the street that

time except for some howling mongrels. And in the park also there were

four halogens in four corners, and the rest of the park was soaked in

darkness.

Good morning she greeted Rajan as she walked in, subtly indicating

him to follow her. She went in and sat on a bench which was far enough

from the halogens. Rajan sat at the other end of the bench.

This is a nice t-shirtnever seen you wearing it before Simi was

compelled to remark as she had never seen Rajan in T-shirt before this.

You should wear t-shirts more oftenshe added, hoping that this would

urge him to improve his dressing sense.

Rajan continued to look down hesitantly. He had fixed his gaze on the

grass, something which Simi didnt like. She wanted him to look at her.

I come to thepark at 4:00 am now for my walks, as I cant come in the

evenings.Are you sure you want to marry me? Simi changed her mind

and asked him directly. Initially she wanted to engage in some small

talk before getting to the main topic!


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Yes! Only youRajan responded so instantly that it seemed like a reflex

reaction.

Look at meSimi commanded, and began to unveil her face covered by

the scarf.

Rajan looked at her and couldnt look at her. Probably his eyes didnt

want to see her this way, and started crying in protest. Tear after tear

rolled down and he exposed his vulnerable side to Simi, as she revealed

hers to him.

Can you accept me like this? Simi asked, her voice also choking with

tears. She wanted Rajan to see her burns up and close. The acid had

distorted her entire face and portions of her neck. For a girl who was so

fond of admiring herself in the mirror and dressing up, nothing could be

a bigger punishment. After this attack by unknown assailants, she had

begun cursing herself for being beautiful as she was made to realize

that it was her beauty that had attracted the beasts. If in case Rajan was

also attracted by her beauty, then she wanted to show him that only

ruins existed now, nothing else. She wanted to tell him that she was not

the same girl whom he would admire.

I love youRajan managed to utter, but he couldnt speak anymore. By

now he was crying like a kid. He could never forgive himself for not

being around Simi on that one day. Rajan had to attend his convocation.

If only he could have chased and stopped that motorbike, he could have

removed their helmets to at least identify the assailants. He had bashed


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them in his head so many times. He regretted it so much that he

couldnt do it for real. He was not there when he was most required.

And these thoughts made him cry uncontrollably.

Simi had never seen an adult man sobbing so loudly before. Till

yesterday, Rajan wanted to marry her. Today, she also wanted to marry

this man whose love passed the litmus test.

Simi went closer to him, hugged him, and whispered into his ear,

If you continue crying, how can we live together, happily ever after?


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Sneha Kothawade

About the Author: Sneha is the co-founder ofAwaken Yog along with her

mother, Ujwala Kothawade. It was a recent realisation that nothing else

brought her so much happiness as doing Yog and meditation and also

sharing this knowledge with others. After her graduation in journalism

B.A. (H) from Kamala Nehru in 2009, she worked as a Sub-editor, wrote

Press Releases for social work organisations and also dabbled into the

content writing industry before she finally decided to switch her career

completely. She found her calling in Yoga and pursued her Diploma in

Yoga Vidya from Bhartiya Vidya Bhavan in 2012 and is now also enrolled

for her masters in Yoga from SVYASA, and works as a corporate Yoga

trainer. She is also the co-founder and vice president of recently formed

NGO - VOICE (Volunteers Organisational Inititative for Community

Empowerment) and fond of planting trees with her like-minded friends.

When she is not thinking about story ideas or doing Yoga, she can be found

painting in her sketchbook.
http://www.awakenyog.in/http://www.awakenyog.in/

litmus test by sneha kothawade

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