lying to the one you love: deception in romantic relationships

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LYING TO THE ONE YOU LOVE: DECEPTION IN ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS Candace DeSmet-Coonfield Ashley Faderewski Andrea Kopach Breanna Stephens

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Lying to the one you love: Deception in romantic relationships. Candace DeSmet-Coonfield Ashley Faderewski Andrea Kopach Breanna Stephens. Introduction. C hose this topic because We could relate to being deceived in previous relationships - PowerPoint PPT Presentation

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Lying to the one you love: Deception inromantic relationshipsCandace DeSmet-CoonfieldAshley FaderewskiAndrea KopachBreanna Stephens

IntroductionChose this topic becauseWe could relate to being deceived in previous relationshipsWitnessed friends and family deal with the same relationship issuesIntriguing Sought to discover reasons why people deceive in relationships based on three areasPersonal relationship historyTheir views on deception in romantic relationshipsHow they felt emotionally if they had been cheated on/deceivedLiterature ReviewBoon, S. D., & McLeod, B. A. (2001). Deception in romantic relationships: Subjective estimates of success at deceiving and attitudes toward deception. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 18(4), 463-476.

Romantic partners believed more than half of deceptive messagesEven though many believed honesty was important for a successful relationships, it did not decrease the likelihood of the use of deceptionLevel of confidence affected the decision about which strategy to use Sarcasm/joking perceived as easier & more moral way to deceive "conditional logicPartners will avoid the truth if they think it will hurt their other's feelings or cause damage to the relationshipLiterature ReviewCole, T. (2001). Lying to the one you love: The use of deception in romantic relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 18(1), 107-129.

Common themes that tend to emerge reciprocity, avoidance & intimacy needsParticipants with lower levels of commitment & relational satisfaction are more likely to think their partner is dishonest & in turn they themselves engage in deceptionIn terms of avoidance, those who have partners who tend to respond to unwelcome information negatively are more likely to mislead their partnersThis use of deception leads to lower levels of intimacy & understandingLiterature ReviewBlair, T. M., Nelson, E. S., & Coleman, P. K. (2001). Deception, Power, and Self-Differentiation in College Students Romantic Relationships: An Exploratory Study. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 27(1), 57-71.Team examined 3 three forms of deception:OmissionWithholding relevant informationDistortionManipulation of true information through exaggerationContradictionAsserting information contradictory to the true information or explicitly denying the validity of the true informationLiterature ReviewGoalsTeam interested in analyzing how different forms of deception functioned in different types of intimate relationshipsIntimate relationships that were reviewed were married couples, engaged couples, dating partners, and friendsWished to determine if particular types of deception were favored in different types of intimate relationshipsResultsFound that gender differences between reported likelihood to use deception and sex found that females reported lower rates of deception than malesFound that discovering deception within a relationship caused women greater negative emotional reactions than menMen were found to be more likely to use deception because they view telling a lie to a dating partner less seriously and may even see deception in general in a more playful lightBlair, T. M., Nelson, E. S., & Coleman, P. K. (2001). Deception, Power, and Self-Differentiation in College Students Romantic Relationships: An Exploratory Study. Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, 27(1), 57-71.Literature ReviewFeldman, S. S., Cauffman, E., Arnett Jensen, L., & Arnett, J. J. (2000). The (un)acceptability of betrayal: A study of college students' evaluations of sexual betrayal by a romantic partner and betrayal of a friend's confidence. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 499-523.Surveyed a group of 261 students ages eighteen to twenty-threeExamined their acceptance of betrayal and deception under varying circumstances as well as their tolerance of deviation.Found that deception was viewed as unacceptable in most scenarios by college students both male and female; however, the study found that both males and females viewed transgressions in a romantic relationship committed by females more negatively than transgressions committed by malesMost accepted justifications for sexual betrayal were that the partner was from a different culture, they fell in love with a new partner, or the partner had sex with someone else. The least accepted justifications were that the friends engaged in similar behavior or that the transgressor had gotten away with sexual deception once before.Research QuestionsHow favorable are individuals attitudes towards the use of deception in their romantic relationships and to what extent do such attitudes reflect conditional approval?Do perceived respect, faithfulness and/or fear of abandonment in a relationship predict if deception occurs less or more frequently? What types of things do partners usually lie about and what is the most common method used to lie? Also, what do participants believe as far as their partners habits of deception (e.g. what did they lie about and how)?

MethodsSurvey on Vovici.comTwenty-day period Posted the link to the survey on each of our Facebook and Twitter accountsThe responses were all anonymousQuestions were all multiple choiceWe opted out of open-ended questions in order to gain the most accurate responses as possibleThe questions were decided upon using our background research and how they would help us gain answers to our three research questions.

Methods77 participantsOf the 7731 were 18-20 (40.3%)25 were 21-23 (32.5%)18 were 24-30 (23.4%)3 were 30+ (3.9%) 27 male & 49 female participants. 42 (54.5%) were currently in a relationship, 30 were single (39%), 4 were married (5.2%) and 1 was divorced (1.3%).Target audience: eighteen years old and upincludes college students and working professionals, whom we felt would have had the most experience with deception in romantic relationshipsChallengescreating questions that would make sense to our respondentsimportant that our participants gave us the most accurate responses so we could eliminate variation

ResultsRQ1- We asked participants to evaluate this statement. Besides the participants who answered not sure, the majority of the participants disagreed with the statement.

ResultsRQ1 cont.- We also asked the participants how important honesty is. None of them related below a 7. Although most of the participants rated the importance of honesty very high, we learned that 76.6% have lied to their partner and 42.9 have cheated on their partner.

ResultsRQ2- We discovered that fear of abandonment may cause deception to increase. However, we could not determine whether or not perceived respect predicts if deception occurs less or more frequently because even though the majority of the participants said they felt well respected, some of them still tended to lie and cheat.

ResultsRQ3- We asked participants what they had lied about and told them to check all that apply. We learned that the most commonthing the participants lied about iswhere they were. Also, we asked what method they used To lie anddiscovered that Face-to-face was the most common.

ResultsRQ3 cont.- We asked participants if they thought their partner had lied to them, and 71.4% said yes. We asked what their partners had lied about, with where they were being the most common lie. We also asked how their partners lied and discovered that face-to-face was the most common with texting being the second most common. The participants and their partners committed deception by commission.

DiscussionA majority of our participants felt honesty was important, but a majority admitted to lyingAttitudes about honesty do not predict if one will like to their significant otherA little more than half felt that they were successful at deceiving their partnersWomen may be more willing to admit using deception under anonymous circumstancesMajority of the respondents were womenFear of abandonment is not significant enough to determine if one will lie1611-12DiscussionMajority of the participants were aware partners had lied to themDetermined that if one had been cheated on, it was more likely they would lieConcluded that that top three things lied about in relationships from either partner is location, friends, and sex, respectivelyFace-to-face was the most common method of lyingWe expected it to be on more impersonal terms, such as textingPeople will experience the most positive relationships when they do not partake in deception, and when they can trust that their partner is honest as wellThank you for listening!

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