magazine - grapeshotmq.com.au going into too much detail these are some of the things a swim teacher...

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ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH

<page> Grapeshot Magazine, Issue <issue>, 2012

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Macquarie University Student Publication

Volume 4, Issue 1, 2012www.grapeshotmq.com.au

EDITORIAL TEAMEDITOR IN CHIEF

Kieran Sly

SUB-EDITORSErin Corderoy

Elise Cullen

CHIEF DESIGNERNathan Li

DESIGNERSAziel GadateDaniel Ngo

ADVERTISING MANAGERDeclan Dowd

CAMPUS ENGAGEMENT OFFICERWayne Zheng

EDITORIAL REVIEW BOARD

Kirsten AmmannDanniel PereiraZoe O’Rourke

CONTACTPHONE

(02) 9850 7605EMAIL

[email protected] ON FACEBOOK

Grapeshot - Macquarie Uni Student Publication

OFFICE Level 1, C10A Campus Experience Building, Macquarie University,

NSW 2109 Australia

DISCLAIMERThe views and opinions expressed in

Grapeshot are not necessarily those of the publication team, Macquarie University staff, the Macquarie University student

body or Campus Engagement staff.

The publication team acknowledges the Darug Aborginal people as the traditional

custodians of the land on which Macquarie University is situated.

Grapeshot Magazine is printed on 100% recycled paper.

Budget Cuts at Macquarie Universityby Jordan Humphreys

How Will You Get Involved? by Ben Pretty

Failed Con-Art & The Lapseby David Nally

Wally’s Walk by Shannon Kelly

But Before I Startby Ashleigh Walls

0810111216

FEATURES

REGULARSEditorialby Erin Corderoy

Letter to the Editorby Anonymous

International Columnby Uma Hapsari

MQ4U Student Discount at Macquarie University Sport and Aquatic Centre

The RantNot So Hot Hottest 100! by Kieran Sly

RoundUpSIFE Careers Seminar - Photos by Daniel Ngo

GalleryPoems by Christopher Nelson and Sasha Simon

PuzzlesSamurai Sudoku & Word Challenge

The Stewby Erin Corderoy

Horoscopesby Luke Verduci

04050607071418212223

04 Grapeshot Magazine, Issue 1, 2012

“Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more”, said Henry V to his troops at Harfleur. At least that’s what Shakespeare believes he said before taking Harfleur and later leading his men to victory at Agincourt. I see you nodding, “ah, that’s where the eponymous pub on the corner of Harris and Broadway gets its name”. You might consider this the next time you are lined up at said pub and planning your own tactical advance to the bar.

Not-so-tactfully advancing is Grapeshot Magazine 2012. We’ve got some interesting themes, an interesting team and look forward to your interesting contributions. We don’t expect you to change the world by assaulting cities, or writing masterful volumes, however; as we all know, ‘the pen is mightier than the sword,’ and with that, who knows what battles might be fought and won. We welcome the ‘newbs’ and say farewell to the old. For those in the middle, you’ll

notice some new, and some not-so-new, sections in the Magazine – you will be pleased to note that the crossword has not vanished, merely relocated to the Grapeshot Newspaper, that is of course if someone volunteers to be our new puzzle maker (see puzzle page for details).

Whether you choose to review a game, a film, an album; write a poem or a story or send in a short essay, your output has a place in Grapeshot Magazine. Twenty-eleven saw a great many breaches to the status quo, all across the world. Where people see a breach, they charge in and make the most of it. We have it pretty good in Australia – we have a native population still strongly attached to their roots, an infrastructure supported by a convict past and a future supported by embracing all ethnicities and creeds. This is the aspiration, and we rely on you to tell us if it’s working.

This edition of Grapeshot Magazine aims to penetrate the veil, breach the battlements of bureaucracy and explore issues of recent MQ policy changes; fight the task-master ‘procrastination’, question the surge of commercial radio – and take arms against the editorial prowess of our own Grapeshot staff. The sea of battles is endless, we start this year by taking the bull by the horns and facing our demons. We advance into another year of sharing the talent and concerns of the student body – our battle cry: “once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more.”

Care to join us in our crusade? Submit to [email protected] – check out the website for a taste of themes to come, or bombard us with your own freshly inspired work. We are en garde and looking forward to reading them.

by Erin Corderoy

* Our special thanks goes to Matthew Bevin for his artwork that was used on the cover page and is also featured above the Editorial. If you have artistic talents that you would like to submit to Grapeshot for use in the magazine, don’t hesitate to contact us by email: [email protected]

EDITORIALCover & Editorial image by Matthew Bevin

Grapeshot Magazine, Issue 1, 2012 05

This letter is in response to Sussan Nunez’s, ‘Now What?!’ article published in Grapeshot Magazine Issue 8, 2011. This is the first time that I have written in as I was deeply offended by this article. I am not looking for it to be published, however I did just want to point something out. My main concern was with the statement, “Teaching swimming lessons… may not be intellectually stimulating but at least it’s something”. I am a swim teacher and I would like to outline exactly what needs to be done to become a qualified instructor. And I can assure you, it is way more interesting than watching grass grow.

To become a qualified swim teacher in Australia (yes, a country surrounded by beautiful oceans, lakes, pools etc.) one must undertake:• A $350 Austswim course, over two days.• Do twenty hours of unpaid practical hours• Get an assessment• Apply for a licence• Do tons of paperwork• Then make sure your CPR is up to date• Then keep your licence current by undertaking professional hours.

This is all before undertaking paid work.

Then, some of the things that swim teachers have to do in this job, which is apparently without any challenge, is keep a class of anywhere from two to six children alive in the pool, whilst teaching! Yeah, no challenge at all, when children have been known to drown in bathtubs and even toilet bowls. Try putting them in a pool where they can not stand, it’s hard work.

Without going into too much detail these are some of the things a swim teacher has to do for every class. Lesson plans must be created; assessments of children are made, which reflect on your teaching; dealing with parents and children with special needs; all of this must not be seen as a challenge by your editing team.

So the next time Grapeshot decides to recommend jobs to pass the time, perhaps your team should stop and think about exactly what goes into those jobs. I hope you now understand, swim teaching is clearly is not an easy job.

Signed, Anonymous

We would like to thank you for your feedback. Within the editorial team, we endeavour to research submissions before they are published. And when we can’t, we appreciate knowledgeable people such as yourself who have taken the time to write in and correct us.

Thanks,Grapeshot Editorial Team

EDITOR’S RESPONSE

Grapeshot Magazine’s success is based on the engagement of the student population, and the best way for us to do that is to use engaging submissions. So whether you are a first or fourth year media student, an English/Writing wmajor, or just love putting words on a page, we want to see what you’ve got. Submission deadlines and magazine themes are all available on our website. To check it out and submit a piece of your work, visit: grapeshotmq.com.au/magazine/submit/

DESIGNER WANTEDWe are looking for an Assistant Designer who has great knowledge and experience in Adobe InDesign and Photoshop. If you have strong creative skills, passion for design and you are studying at Macquarie University for the rest of 2012, send your CV with at least two samples of work to us: [email protected]


The hardest part about being an international student, at least for me who is writing this ‘International Column’, is to present your country to foreign friends. Surely, I could be like a marketing person talking about all the advantages of being Indonesian, hoping to create a better image of the country. I can easily hide any bad stuff with other great facts about Indonesia: food to drugs are all cheap; maids commonly exist in every house; the shopping centre opens till at least 10pm; the sun always shines; you can even bribe the cops to get a driving license for 50 bucks. Great, isn’t it?

I found many people would convincingly cover for Indonesia when it comes to bad stuff. Schapelle Corby, who serves a 20-year sentence, has led Aussie’s assumption that Indonesia’s laws are way too serious about drug smuggling, and that the death sentence can overvalue human rights. Toward such issues, my Indonesian friend once told an Aussie that the conditions are not that bad, “My relative was also a druggie, however, he did not end up in jail. If you know the right person to bribe, then you don’t have to worry”. Indeed, bribery sometimes, if not often, turns out to be like a saviour. But even if it is handy, is it really what we expect from our country? I would have to disagree.

My country, Indonesia, recognises six religions that they claim live harmoniously amongst one another. Ouch, that struck me. My boyfriend is not a Muslim like me, and just because of this we would have to inharmoniously give up the relationship to a point. Government would surely approve couples from two different religions to get married. But after that, you also have to go through the Religion Department, which would never sign spousal status unless the couple are holding the same belief. Besides, I would have to deal with parents who will never give a chance to their daughter marrying a Catholic. Indian or Nepalese may understand this case, as it is similar to the way the caste system works.

If I were brought up with Australian values, cultures and beliefs, I would surely not give a damn about such a thing. It would be as simple as living together with my partner, and that would be the end of the story. But in Indonesia, living together is equal to suicide. Not only would your parents confront you,

but society would also take serious actions. Or at least, they will look down on you like you are the most sinful person on Earth. I feel like living in Sydney is like living in the future since cultural restrictions are no longer a major issue.

The hassle has not come to an end because ethnicity is quite an issue as well. Democracy has recently become so ideal for the country that everyone wants to talk about it. The problem is that no one wants to listen, and when they noticed that no one was listening to them, they became angry and sometimes even violent. There are repeated cases of conflicts amongst religions, such as the Ahmadiyah (a minority religious group) families, who were ousted from their own homes and the church congregations prevented from praying. The followers of this local religion have difficulty getting a national identification card because their religion is not recognised. The Chinese Indonesians have also experienced racial discrimination.

I remember when I first came to Sydney, I was told by a friend that Aussies are prejudiced to international students. We are seen as taking their seats in university (just look at Macquarie as an example). After a while, I figured out that it is not necessarily true. Yes, international students are everywhere, but people are significantly open to diversity. Even if some Australians do not like certain ethnicities, crime related to ethnicity and religion are considerably and significantly low in comparison to Indonesia.

I have shared many good stories of being Indonesian in my previous international columns. If I share some things I consider as bad, it has nothing to do with me not liking that I am Indonesian. What is important is not whether a particular group is racist or not, nor what stereotype is embedded in our appearance. The real matter is how to be open to talking about things the way they are by taking both the good and the bad things into consideration. There is no need to take the side of a particular race. All I want is to learn other cultures as well as being pleased to share with them some knowledge about mine. And to my understanding, no learning can take place if we are being sceptical in the first place. Correct me if I’m wrong.

by Uma Hapsari

INTERNATIONAL COLUMN


NOT SO HOT HOTTEST 100!

THE RANT

STUDENT DISCOUNT AT MACQUARIE UNIVERSITY SPORT AND AQUATIC CENTREDo you feel like getting fit while you’re hanging around between classes at Uni? Do the prices of gym memberships make you feel sick? Well have we got the solution for you! Macquarie has its very own Sport and Aquatic Centre that is fully equipped to help you reach all of your fitness goals. And the best part about it is, as a student of Macquarie University, you are eligible for the discounted Student Membership. As an added incentive, if you sign up before the 20 March 2012 for four months, you will receive an extra month for free. The membership gives you unlimited access to indoor and outdoor heated swimming pools, Health Club, free personalised training programs, group fitness classes and free bookings of the squash and badminton courts.

With a brand new expansion that opened in September 2011, the Health Club is fully decked out with all the gear to make you the next Arnold Schwarzenegger, or to simply tighten and tone those none-too flattering parts of your body. So come on everyone, enjoy the facilities brought to you by your Uni, and get fit and have fun while you do it!

Sign up to receive the Sport and Aquatic Centre e-newsletter; the Warrior Word, and you could win a MacWarrior Pack including a bag,

t-shirt, cap and sweatband valued at $80. Simply visit the link provided below to sign up for the newsletter and you’re automatically in the draw.

www.campuslife.mq.edu.au/sport

MQ4UWHAT HAS MACQUARIE UNIVERSITY DONE FOR YOU LATELY?

WIN

I spent the best part of nine hours sitting around on Australia Day, drinking beer, eating sausages and lamb, trying to be Australian and listening to the, not so hot, Hottest 100. As the top 10 songs were looming I was attempting to remember if I had listened to any songs that I actually enjoyed. I can confidently say that I didn’t like 90% of what I had been listening to all day. And then the top 10 hit… As if listening to the monotonous hosts wasn’t boring enough, they were successfully backed up by an equally boring conglomerate of semi-commercial sludge. I am writing this with the realisation that I will offend 99% of the Triple J-loving, anti-establishment-obsessed population, but I don’t really care about 3 peoples’ feelings.

Finally, to the people who cast the 1,378,869 votes, shame on you… and your music taste.

by Kieran Sly


BUDGET CUTS AT MACQUARIE UNIVERSITYMacquarie University has

recently built a new semi-robotic library, it has built a privvate research

hospital and in 2010 the University reported a 17.8% increase in its income and a $76.2 million surplus. The University also reported that in 2010 it had $81.4 million in cash and a further $94.2 million in other financial assets. Despite all of this, Macquarie University seems to be set on a course of budget cuts that will undoubtedly lead to lowering the standard of education for students and an attack on the rights and conditions of staff.

Pointed out by the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) here at Macquarie University, some major changes are being planned:

• Abolish or severely curtail tutorials across entire departments and courses;

• Significantly increase student numbers in those few tutorials that will remain – with proposals for 150 or more students in a single tutorial in some cases;

• Substantially cut teaching staff, which will make it much harder to access staff for consultation and feedback.

A series of faculties have also reported deep cuts in their 2012 budgets and Honours is now likely to be cut without really consulting staff and students. All of this is on top of some serious problems at Macquarie University

regarding staff-to-student ratios. Since 2006, we have seen that the equivalent full-time student load has increased by 5850, while equivalent full-time academic staff increased by only 114.

Though, this news may not be surprising to you. The University is hardly announcing this new scheme from the rooftops of the Chancellery. They instead talk of ‘modernisation’, ‘reform’, and bringing Macquarie University into the 21st Century. As in Britain, under the hack-and-slash right-wing Tory government, ‘reform’ is now the code word for cutbacks.

There is some good news in all of this though, wve don’t have to put up with it. At the end of last year, 250-odd students and staff met together in the


central courtyard to discuss these cuts and voted on a few motions. One of these motions, submitted here in brief, read:

“This meeting of Macquarie University students and staff:

• Rejects the necessity of budget cuts to Faculties and Departments;

• Calls the Vice-Chancellor to account for a funding approach that has seen increasing workloads and student-staff ratios and deterioration in conditions for learning, teaching and research across the University;

• Demands that the University Executive restore Faculty funding to a level that enables high quality

teaching and research and student engagement and learning.”

Early last year the NTEU also had an excellent action where students and staff went down to the vice-chancellor and had a sit-down protest.

Similarly, Sydney University has seen some of its biggest staff union meetings in years with staff overf lowing from the meeting rooms.

These are the sorts of actions we need to do here a Macquarie University in order to bring attention to what the Vice-Chancellor is doing. For my part, in my role as Social Justice Officer on MUSRA (Macquarie University Student Representative Association), I will be arguing that we

need to take a stand against what is happening at this university.

This sort of thing has happened before; tens of thousands of students protested in Sydney against John Howard’s anti student union VSU legislation. While in the 70’s student protests rocked even Macquarie University, with one notorious protest occupying the chancellery with the then vice-chancellor still inside. It’s that sort of Mac Uni tradition that students and staff need to seize upon this year.

by Jordan Humphreys


First days on campus are meant to be fun. In a lot of cases however, they are also pretty nerve wracking. Macquarie University Sport is here to help by providing heaps of different sporting opportunities within a friendly, sociable environment, meaning you can meet new people and develop lasting friendships.

One of those opportunities is the “Social Sport” program: Social sport competitions are open to everyone, regardless of skill level or ability. The various divisions cater for all standards of competition from purely social teams that are out for some fun, to teams that are very competitive and out to win each game. Competitions are played for 10 weeks, including semi-finals and finals with prizes awarded to the winners of each division. There is a wide range of sporting options including; basketball, football, futsal, netball, tennis, touch footy, ultimate frisbee and volleyball.

Watch out for the posters with more information and sign up opportunities at O-Week… get in quick though as competitions can fill up fast.

Another option, if your class schedule is full and you’re finding it hard to commit to weekly sporting competitions, is to try a social session. These sessions are designed so that regular attendance is not expected and run on a weekly basis throughout the semester – you can just drop by as, and when, you feel like it. There are over 10 sessions offered each week and sports include badminton, basketball and table tennis. All equipment is provided and costs per session are as low as $6, and FREE for Members of the Sport & Aquatic Centre.

If you think those sports sound a little run of the mill and fancy getting yourself some Bruce Lee or Jackie Chan action, we’ve got you covered: Macquarie University Sport has

recently expanded the martial arts program. Now you can release some tension and explore something new such as mixed martial arts (MMA), Thai kickboxing, Tae Kwon Do, karate or judo. Each discipline offers a beginner or intermediate/advanced course to ensure you maximise you potential.

And finally, is it a bird? Is it a plane? Nope it’s parkour. Macquarie University Sport is committed to providing students with new and innovative sporting options. The sport coaching program is the perfect way to learn something new and have some fun. There are a number of options available including parkour, badminton, tennis, fencing and rowing. These courses are between four and eight weeks in length and are designed to teach you the basics. Be on the look out during O-Week and get involved in our FREE parkour demonstrations.

For more information on any of the above programs please visit www.campuslife.mq.edu.au/sport or come into the Sport and Aquatic Centre and speak with one of our friendly Customer Service Officers. Alternatively you can visit the Sport & Activities Hub in the Atrium from O-Week onwards.

by Ben Pretty

WILL YOUGET INVOLVED?

HOW


Josh was sitting on a couch with his laptop. As he began to type, he felt as if the seams of the world were splitting.

“Dear Danielle,

I miss you terribly, and I can’t stop thinking about you.

There is something we need to discuss with you in person. I will be back in a few days.

Know that I love you,

Sam”

He emailed variations to different names, using different aliases. He was married to all four recipients.

He felt so empty; the juggling act seemed selfish and futile, now.

Last night, he had discovered that he was gay.

THE LAPSE“Everything will be okay.”

I wake up, alone, groggy, and in a bed. My wife’s voice is still echoing in my head. The room is white.

My arms are strapped down, and connected to an I.V. drip. I feel numb all over. Edges of bandages frame my vision.

There are voices outside. Someone is asking a nurse how their brother is recovering from a sex-change. Soon, after they stop talking, a man walks in with a tray and a smile.

“Hey Neil - I brought you lunch!”

But my name is Tom.

And someone else must have gotten my vasectomy.

by David Nally

FAILED CON-ART


A rapper stepped lightly down the university causeway, muttering things to himself that

passers-by heard for a half second before he had passed them. The wind picked him up and carried him down the passage. Through the trees he bounced, past construction (an ever-present occurrence at this locale) and smoking students, towards the other side. Down Wally’s Walk he bounded, the rapper wrapper stopping occasionally to tell people about an event long since passed. He was a poster-boy for an older age. He advertised some kind of shindig for fifth year law students or some other catastrophe for bar tabs. Except this poster-boy decided to keep his money rather than spend it on people. He wasn’t a big fan of people.

He considered, Why is it called Wally’s Walk? as the wind twisted him into a mini cyclone, spinning him around for a second before he continued his journey. Maybe somewhere, hidden along the ambling pathway that connected the artsy X’s to the scientifically grounded E’s was a man. A man in a white and red striped shirt, a hat of similar chromatic arrays, and wearing large glasses. Staring. Eternally staring. Why did everyone want to find Wally? Maybe he killed Wizard Whitebeard and Odlaw is actually a detective trying to hunt him down. A thought for another time, the wrapper rapper mused, hoping the muse would bear fruit in the way that some trees did. That nobody has ever seen Wally

WALLY’S WALK


is no proof as to His non-existence. He is depicted in books and television, and appears in every scene. If the good book (a.k.a. Where’s Wally) says he is omnipresent then why should we not believe it? He’d make the perfect serial killer, Wally would. He goes everywhere unseen. That lends credence to the Whitebeard theory.

But whilst you, dear reader, were musing on the legitimacy of replacing any of the killers in a Hitchcock movie with Wally (Even The Birds. Think about it: hundreds of Wally lookalikes. We’ve seen that page in the book before.) the wrapper has gotten savaged by a cat. A wandering feline named Mia, prowling the grounds between hours on the clock spotted the bouncing target and mistook the poster-boy for a toy. Such an unfortunate mistake for the misanthropic miser. Now he is nothing more than kitty kibble.

Mia stopped her savage attack as the sun broke through its cloudy prison. It did that, occasionally; the sun did. Break free, I mean. Most of the time it sat among the clouds, but sometimes it liked to come down to Earth and warm

TRADING HOURS AT MACQUARIE UNIVERSITY

MAIN STORE

Saturday 25th February 10:00am – 3:00pm

27th February – 3rd MarchMonday – Thursday 8:30am – 7:00pm

Friday 8:30am – 6:00pm, Saturday 10:00am – 3:00pm

5th March – 10th MarchMonday – Thursday 9:00am – 7:00pm

Friday 9:00am – 5:00pm, Saturday 10:00am – 3:00pm

From 12th March Normal Semester HoursMonday – Thursday 9:00am– 6:00pm

Friday 9:15am – 5:00pm

COURSE NOTE STORE

Saturday 25th February 10:00am – 3:00pm

27th February – 10th MarchMonday – Friday 9:00am – 6:00pm

Saturday 10:00am – 3:00pm

From 12th MarchMonday – Thursday 10:00am – 3:00pm

Friday Closed

From 5th April Course Notes will be available from the Main Store.

TEXTBOOKS AND MOREFind your text list www.coop-bookshop.com.au

Go to the Text List Search

Select Macquarie University

Enter your subject

Hit search

Buy online with FREE delivery in Australia

Find us on campus: Bldg C9A, Macquarie University

P: 8986 4000, E: [email protected]* SIBT students should visit www.sibt.nsw.edu.au for textbook information

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Join the conversation...

the faces of cute kitty cats skipping out of lectures to attack flitting posters. Perhaps it feels there is some kindred spirit there. Its kinscat, meanwhile, was completely oblivious to the soulful bond it was attempting to forge. Mia just thought it was nice to be warm. She stopped short of tearing the wrapper’s paper head from his paper shoulders and left the murdered corpse in the gutter. Poster-boy no longer, but such is the end of all rappers. He felt none of this, of course. He was a pulped, squished tree with a bit of pigment forming his figure. Mia made a much more interesting subject, given the many hairs covering her tortoiseshell body. By contrast, the rapper was such a two dimensional character.

The cat Mia followed the trail of sunlight to a sunlit grove of trees. She sniffed everything. This was a place frequented by ducks, rabbits and students. The latter were the most animalistic of the triumvirate of rulers dominating this forest. She stopped. Her front paw was slightly out of alignment after her encounter with the lone paper wrapper. She licked it back into place, imagining the rewards she would get when she

told her owner of her success. Maybe a scratch on the head or even a nose rub. Her owner was weak-minded—eager to dole out rewards when told about a successful kill, but when Mia brought her trophies inside the house (How else was she going to teach her owner to hunt?) she got punished. Mia flopped onto her back, leaving her belly to be warmed by the sun. She purred at the thought of being scratched behind the ears, then left on the hour as crowds began to mill, ready for another class.

When the cleaner found the poster-boy that evening he called the trash ambulance, which came rumbling up on two wheels. A claw-grappler extended and picked up the body. It would go into the bin with the others, all killed by the same suspect: the same claw mark modus operandi. The cleaner looked around carefully for the killer as the sun hid behind the trees and gymnasium. He didn’t see the light glinting from a pair of thick-rimmed glasses that watched him from the bushes.

by Shannon Kelly


ROUNDUPSIFE Macquarie is a group of university students who create entrepreneurial and educational projects to empower, teach and positively change individuals, the community and the environment. From involvement in these projects, students acquire business knowledge, leadership and a passion to help others and themselves.

To kick off 2012 SIFE Macquarie ran an exclusive training session with PWC’s campus relationship manager, Martina Carr and her colleagues. They covered topics such as interview questions, group assessments, application process, resume writing and much more. This event was a great opportunity to not only build relationships with PWC but also learn some essential skills for job hunting!

photos by Daniel Ngo

SIFE Careers Seminar


photos by Daniel Ngo


Once more unto the breach, dear friends, once more; I’ll just quickly log onto Facebook first.

It’s a familiar battle; an essay outline sitting on the desk with its 40% weighting and looming due date staring up at you, and a box full of old photos that you suddenly feel the need to sort; or a book you’ve had for three years that looks more appealing to start reading then it ever has, or maybe you just have that overwhelming desire to sit on your chair and ponder the meaning of life for a few hours. Procrastination seems to rear its distractingly interesting head every time we have a list of tedious, yet potentially crucial, assessments to complete.

With the start of a new term comes that sense of returning to battle, where

study


we start by sitting in a lecture room, in below freezing temperatures, staring out the window, vaguely aware of the list of assignments being read out that will torture us over the next three months. It’s that strange feeling of déjà vu when we attempt to start our first assignment for the term, and we often find ourselves wondering ‘what’s so great about a pass/degree/career anyway’? Beginning seems to be the hardest step, opening a word document can feel like you’ve conquered a mountain. Procrastination hits, and if you’re like me you’ll look for anything to do, no matter how trivial, to avoid starting that assignment. There are the usual distractions, of course: Facebook, TV, catching your reflection in the mirror and as a result spending the next three hours practising your modelling range. But if you’re really committed to the fine art of procrastination, you’ll do

things you hate just to consume time with anything other than work: cleaning, exercising, pushing bamboo splints under your fingernails.

So why do we do it? Why do we sabotage ourselves? You know what I’m talking about. Its 4.30pm, that essay you decided to finally start last night is due at 5pm and it seems to be expanding, your lecturer’s words come echoing through your head; ‘this isn’t an assignment you can start the night before’. Crap! Why, why did I spend the entire day yesterday alphabetising my CDs? Finally, you’re writing that last sentence and racing to get it printed only to find an enormous line of equally disgruntled students staring daggers at the girl using the printer who has decided now is the best time to proof-read her essay. When we know it has to get done, why do we leave it to the last minute

in some sort of sadistic attack against ourselves? Perhaps the simplest answer is that logic and drive are two different things. Sure, I realise on an intellectual level that putting it off is not going to make the essay any easier to write, but right now there’s a perfectly okay B-grade 1980s daytime movie on TV and I’d be crazy to miss it. Sometimes that last minute pressure can help push us along, but when it’s accompanied by high levels of stress, anxiety and hives, maybe it’s not the best for our well-being.

As we head once more unto the breach in 2012, fellow Macquarie students, let’s pledge to start our assignments as soon as we can, unless of course something really important comes up.

by Ashleigh Walls


CHRONICLE DE LUNATIQUE

How deep does it go?How Far Down?

Is it dark? Is it Cold?Does it rot in the Gloom?

Questions asked of a paper cranethat will never sing its song

placed on a raft amongst jewels,none of which could shine as bright.

Afloat on an ocean with an evil nameand sinking (for the knots aren’t strong)

one thousandth of a wish becomes the fuelfor a crushing strength and dawnless night.

As I stand upon a shoreviolent thoughts, like the grim horizon bring gales to the steady smooth walls.

They’re ready to send this vessel to its doom.I have seen all this before

but this time I have to smile uponwatching something freely loved, sink and fall.

for nothing is cherishednothing flourished

in the hollow light of a screaming shallow moon.

A masochistic dance of moltenshoes and glass, tooth and nail.

Laughing as I beat my fistsagainst the waves until they bleed.

not for a moment will my feet resolveto leave this rock while waves are flailing

until I see my ship, her death, and my fits will endand life can grow again on earth from seed.

by Christopher Nelson

LITTLE WHITE TREELittle White TreeI’ll pass your plane todayand make no point to stopand view thee.

A colour I cannot see haspainted my clocks all shadesof truth, a stream with no ebb or course.It simply goes.

For all substance, there is still spacethat even fine quills can’t pierce,and these, the colours run through astorrents from the dam.

Fetching crumbs and glass shards isour life on the table in the wilderness, we hopethat if probable, somewhere it ISwith the gods as metaphor.

So I ran back to theeto ask “do you see it?”I ask in haste for I forgetThat you are a tree,and made of what I see.

by Christopher NelsonGALLERY

AVENUE 13There is a rubbish dump on my street,refuse which people must dispose,recording lives made incomplete,where time well-spent or wasted goes.

Across the street is number twelvean empty lot, so full of sleep.neighbours try to save themselves,they cannot pray for their minds to keep.

The street: a broken deck chair lies,too hot to rest a travelling muse,but rest he will and as he sighshis pipe will add to the refuse.

There’s an avenue of torturewhere 13 toll the bells.Miles without departureunderneath those shady elms.

The woodsmoke stench and rakish oiladd to the perfume,and trapped in torpor, life is gone,never to resume.

Picket fence and eaves are gone,behind a desiccated hedge,Avenue 13 and Hell:upon twin scissor-blade edge.

So troubadour, pray ye be warned!Though risk the road and the devil’s drop.Never view the past with scornand never, ever, stop.

There is a rubbish dump on my street,refuse which people must dispose,recording lives made incomplete,where time well-spent or wasted goes.

by Christopher Nelson

HIS PORCELAIN

WHOREA delicate facePale and white

Half encased in shadowsHalf lit by the moonlight

Looking through her windowShe peers at the stars

Watching for her destinyWhich awaits from afar

A knock at the door

Her dreams interruptedThe world begins to crumble

He stands at the foot of her bedHe motions, she followsLike a dog and an order

Succumbing to angry words, and once againShe becomes his porcelain whore

by Sasha Simon

WHAT I’VE LOSTI made a mistakeI told you a lieI fibbed to your faceThen bade you goodbye I broke all your trustOur friendship was lostI tried to backtrackBut couldn’t reclaim what I’d lost Sometimes I watch youFrom the corner of my eyeWishing for something moreThan a half-hearted “hi” Now I have changedRealised where I went wrongBut it’s too lateEverything we had is now gone

by Sasha Simon


FINAL_3-000029_DB_grapeshot_One Bank advert_297x210_Macquariexx.indd 1 2/7/12 2:12 PM

FINAL_3-000029_DB_grapeshot_One Bank advert_297x210_Macquariexx.indd 1 2/7/12 2:12 PM

WORD CHALLENGEFind as many words as you can with 4 or more letters. Words must include the centre letter and cannot be plurals. There is at least 1 nine-letter word.


PUZZLE PAGESUDOKU

A I SE F MN O T

Due to the retirement/graduation of our resident crossword maker, we are in need of someone to take over the role. If you are interested in contributing to the Grapeshot Puzzle Page, please contact us by email: [email protected]

PUZZLE MAKERNEEDED!


BE ENCHANTEDCourtyard Sessions: Music Under the Trees

Friday nights between 20 January and 30 March, 6-9pmSeymour Centre

Featuring a variety of independent musicians, this free event promises to enchant the senses with an array of visual and aural stimuli. Pack a picnic for an al fresco evening surrounded by lush trees and your choice of mood music. The Seymour Centre has a list of the bands, their style and the night of their performance, to help you to select your perfect evening.

sydney.edu.au/seymour/boxoffice/program_courtyardsessions.shtml

SUPPORTMardi Gras Drag Races

Bondi Beach, Friday 2 March

Open to one and all, these drag races are sure to entertain and amuse – if you're looking for fast cars and screeching tyres you may get a little confused. Kings and queens of the drag scene battle it out at Bondi Beach as part of Sydney's Mardi Gras festivities. Embrace the right to free expression and sexuality and join the frivolities that have become a favourite of the Mardi Gras calendar.

www.mardigras.org.au/dragraces/index.cfm

ENJOYWOW Film Festival Launch

6-8 March, 12:15-1:00pmCustoms House Library

Customs House is the venue for the launch, but for satiating the need for film, the Dendy Opera Quays will be hosting the films from 8th March to the 10th March. Tickets and times are as listed on the website. Get behind these fabulous film-makers and show your support for International Women's Day – and the Australian film industry.

www.wiftnsw.org.au

STEWTHE

by Erin Corderoy


EPICURERuane Cellar Door Open Day

Every Sunday between 19 February and 16 DecemberRuane Winery, Menangle

Set in the gorgeous vineyard region near Camden this winery will have you feeling like a true epicure. With wine, cheese, horses and all the sentiment of country life just an hour from Sydney, it would be a shame to miss such an opportunity. Groups are welcome, so make a day of it with your friends, discover that elusive perfect wine and cheese combination or revel in the peace as a lone wanderer.

www.sydney.com/events/ruane-cellar-door-open-day

LAUGHRAW Comedy 2012

17 January - 20 March, 8-10pmThe Comedy Store, Moore Park

Tickets per heat at Conc. $10 +bf and Full $15 +bf.

Keen to discover the next big performer in the comedy world? Always wanted to be hip and say “I liked him/her before they were famous”? Now's your chance. For a small fee, The Comedy Store will present the 2012 line-up of undiscovered comedy talent. The heats are advertised on their website, it's just a matter of getting a ticket, getting yourself there and getting your laugh on.

www.comedystore.com.au

STEW

CAPRICORN Happiness will come to you at the hands of that girl handing out free boost juice.

AQUARIUS Venus will cause the price of petrol to rise for you, and only you.

PISCES Your parents weren’t lying when they told you if you make a face it’ll get stuck that way. Use this to your advantage and try for a better one.

ARIES Your attempts to bring order and harmony to your life at this point will be fruitless, unless you download the Tetris theme first.

TAURUS The life goals you set yourself are too unrealistic. Aim to attend your first lecture, and anything after that will surpass your expectations.

GEMINI Surround yourself with those you trust the least, they will make quite a barrier when the zombies arrive.

CANCER Neptune has it in for you this month. I’d say it’s not you, it’s Neptune, but it’s almost definitely you.

LEO They say your problem is inoperable, but they’re wrong: It’s just incurable. Go ahead and do all the operating you want.

VIRGO Jupiter is rising in your sign, bringing with it all the blessings, good fortunes, and prosperity that a gas giant is capable of.

LIBRA Your zodiac has become synonymous with female hygiene products... have fun with that.

SCORPIO You will be tempted to stop and smell the flowers in life’s garden, but remember, gardens are boring, all the cool stuff is happening around you.

SAGITTARIUS While the early bird gets the worm, the bird that arrives exactly on time will also get the worm. Fortunately, lectures are optional, and nobody likes worms, so accept the fact you’re the bird that likes to sleep in.

ABOUT THE AUTHORRugged astronomer Luke Verduci was the first person to cross Niagara Falls on a tight rope and can sleep for up to 4 months during winter. He works at The Star and is therefore slightly more qualified than you to make accurate astrological predictions.

HOROSCOPES

www.campuslife.mq.edu.au/campushub*Terms and Conditions Apply

BACK TO UNI SPECIALSBACK TO UNI SPECIALSBoost Juice - SAVE $2.80

Medium Boost Crush for $3.00

Little Asia, Lee’s Asian Food Court

and Thai Kiosk - SAVE $1.00

Purchase any Main Meal get a 600ml Mount Franklin

or 375ml soft drink for only $1.00

The Shop - BUY ONE GET ONE FREE!

600ml Mount Franklin

The Grill - $2.00 OFF

Any Burger Combo

And Heaps More… Grab your voucher booklet and start redeeming today!

magazine - grapeshotmq.com.au going into too much detail these are some of the things a swim teacher...

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