SEVEN(7) STEPS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

Marriage, Courtship and Dating

Books You NeedTo Be Read Before Entering A Marriage Relationship or Courtship

1.The Holy Bible (KJV)

2.Letters to Young Lovers–Ellen G. White

3.Adventist Home –Ellen G. White

4. Testimonies on Sexual Behavior, Adultery, and Divorce–Ellen G. White

5.Ministry Of Healing–Ellen G. White

6.Message to young people –Ellen G. White

7. Youth, Are You Preparing for Your Divorce? by Colin D. Standish

8. Preparing for Marriage -W.D. Frazee

Year

Divorces

Marriages

1900 1 12.7

1940 1 6

1990

2000

1

1

2

2

Four Big Secrets of a Happy Family

There is not one marriage in one hundred that results happily, that bears the sanction of God, and places the

parties in a position better to glorify Him. Testimonies for the Church Volume 4, Page 504

The evil consequences of poor marriages are numberless. They are contracted from impulse. A candid review of the matter is scarcely thought of, and consultation with those

of experience is considered old-fashioned. Testimonies for the Church Volume 4, Page 504

Courtship, as carried on in this age, is a scheme of deception and hypocrisy, with which the enemy of souls

has far more to do than the Lord. Good common sense is needed here if anywhere; but the fact is, it has little to do in the matter. MESSAGES TO YOUNG PEOPLE, PAGE 450

Satan is busily engaged in influencing those who are wholly unsuited to each other to unite their interests. He exults in this work, for by it he can produce more misery and hopeless woe to the human family than by exercising

his skill in any other direction.—

Testimonies for the Church 2:248.

The purpose of marriage is to

blending two different personalities

into the image of God.

What is the purpose of marriage?

Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and

his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be

one flesh.

Marriage

God designs that every Christian home in its harmony, peace, and

love should be a model of the home in heaven. In fulfillment of

this ideal there can be no marriage with unbelievers, for in

homes established under the unequal yoke, 'the shadows are

never lifted.‘ (Deuteronomy 11:19-21,matthew 6:9-10)

Genesis 1:27

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of

God created he him; male and female created he them.”

“You each have an identity of your own, but in that identity there

must be a unity. There is constantly to be a development of the

faculties that God has given you, that you may improve, improve,

and that you may indeed be looked upon by the heavenly angels with commendation.…

Ellen White’s Marriage Sermon

You are not called to give up your identity; you each have an

identity of your own. These may not always run in the very same

channel, and yet there may be that blending that God requires.” Manuscript Releases, v. 10, p. 179

Ellen White’s Marriage Sermon

"We have an individuality

of our own, and the

wife's individuality is

never to be sunk into

that of her husband. God

is our Creator. We are

His by creation, and we

are His by redemption.

MS 12, 1895.

We want to see how much

we can render back to

God, because He gives us

the moral power, He gives

us the efficiency, He gives

us the intellect; and He

wants us to make the

most of these precious

gifts to His name's glory."--

MS 12, 1895.

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:48

To most Christians this text is interpreted to mean “try to

be perfect, but you never will be perfect.” That exact

mentality is brought into the marriage experience. In

many contexts, marriage is frequently called a union.

Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. Matthew 5:48

But a true union is built upon unity, that bond in which there

is no area of separation between those united together. If

young people would study the experience of Pentecost in

Acts chapter two, they will reflect that about one hundred

and twenty people were united.-Youth are you preparing for divorce?

by Colin Standish, page 23

Success in marriage is certainly

a union built upon unity. The

same agreement regarding

divisive principles that brings

unity in a group of Christian

believers is necessry for unity in

a marriage. Unity, however,

does not mean that we always

think exactly the same.

And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they

were all with one accord in one place. Acts 2:1

However, it entails both

spouses having their lives in

unbroken commitment to their

Savior, allowing Him to perfect

His character in their lives. In

His prayer for unity Jesus said,

Sanctify them through thy truth:

thy word is truth. John 17:17

-Youth are you preparing for divorce?

by Colin Standish, page 23

And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they

were all with one accord in one place. Acts 2:1

Here again we notice some principles

which bring true unity—“have purified

your souls;” “obeying the truth;” “through

the [Holy] Spirit;” “unto unfeigned [without

pretense] love of the brethren.” Young

people, can you see that these are the

principles upon which every true Christian

marriage should be established?

-Youth are you preparing for divorce?

by Colin Standish, page 24

Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the

Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one

another with a pure heart fervently. 1 Peter 1:22

You must understand that if both the

husband and the wife are daily seeking,

in the power of Christ’s grace, to live

this life, then the marriage will be

invincible. Some believe that this is a

noble goal but that it cannot be

achieved. However, the Bible does not

support such a discouraging conclusion.

-Youth are you preparing for divorce?

by Colin Standish, page 24

Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the

Spirit unto unfeigned love of the brethren, see that ye love one

another with a pure heart fervently. 1 Peter 1:22

Some believe that Bible statements such as

“I can of mine own self do nothing” (John

5:30) absolves them of any thought to seek

perfection of character. Yet it is from Jesus

that we are assured that “with God all things

are possible” (Matthew 19:26). The issue of

perfection has nothing to do with the abject

weakness of fallen human beings. It has all

to do with Christ dwelling with us.

-Youth are you preparing for divorce?

by Colin Standish, page 24

Seeing ye have purified your souls in obeying the

truth through the Spirit unto unfeigned love of the

brethren, see that ye love one another with a pure

heart fervently. 1 Peter 1:22

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5

Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these

ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that

is in the world through lust. 2 Peter 1:4

If we say it is impossible to live a life of

character perfection, we certainly will never

achieve it. We understand that that is exactly

the same principle which we see in what is said

by so many husbands and wives about their

marriage. They confess “There is no hope. We

cannot learn how to agree and continue to live

together.” If you conclude this, you are

expressing a self-fulfilling prophecy.

-Youth are you preparing for divorce ? -by Colin Standish, page 24

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. Philippians 2:5

Whereby are given unto us exceeding great and precious promises: that by these

ye might be partakers of the divine nature, having escaped the corruption that

is in the world through lust. 2 Peter 1:4

As you allow your mind to wander in that

direction you certainly will never find God’s plan

to bring about unity, love and harmony in your

marriage. The more we express this

hopelessness, the deeper its impression, for

expressions inevitably deepen impressions. You

become increasingly convinced of the

impossibility of a happy and contented

marriage. Thus step by step you yield to the

temptation to fracture the marriage vows.

-Youth are you preparing for divorce ?- by Colin Standish, page 24

Long before marriage you must

realize the infinite power of Christ

and His grace, day by day and

moment by moment, to provide you

victory over the tests, trials and

temptations of Satan. On numbers

of occasions Christ provided the

perfect formula. When Christ is in

us and we are in Christ we are

invincible to the fiery darts of Satan.

At that day ye shall know that I am in my Father, and ye in me; and I in you.

John 14:20

I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the

same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing. If a man

abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men

gather them and cast them into the fire, and they are burned. If ye abide in

me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be

done unto you. John 15:5–7

Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given

us of his Spirit. . . . Whosoever shall confess that Jesus is the Son of God,

God dwelleth in him, and he in God. And we have known and believed the

love that God hath to us. God is love; and he that dwelleth in love dwelleth

in God, and God in him. 1 John 4:13, 15–16

We abide in Christ when we have a living connection with Him and we

renew it every morning on our knees. By submitting our lives to Him we

can have the strength to live

Both spouses must have that power of

victory in their lives. Young people

should patiently seek a marriage

partner who also is gaining the same

daily strength and victory. There is one

thing certain: such a marriage will

never suffer fracture. As the years of

marriage pass into decades, the

marriage bond will strengthen the love

of both husband and wife for the other.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will

flee from you. James 4:7

-Youth are you preparing

for divorce ?- by Colin Standish, page 25

The children of the marriage will have

the joy of growing up in a home where

they too experience the joy, the

calmness, the blessing of such a

Christian home. It is often said that it

takes two to make a divorce. That is

false. It only takes one to make a

divorce, but it certainly takes two—two

dedicated, mature Christians—to make

an invincible marriage.

Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will

flee from you. James 4:7

-Youth are you preparing

for divorce ?- by Colin Standish, page 25

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what

fellowship hath righteousness with

unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?..2

Corinthians 6:14

He/she has not accepted the truth for this time; he is an unbeliever, and you

are forbidden of heaven to unite yourself with him. You cannot, without peril to your soul, disregard this divine

injunction....

To connect with an unbeliever is to place yourself on Satan’s ground. You grieve the Spirit of God and forfeit His protection. Can you afford to have such terrible odds against you in fighting

the battle for everlasting life?

.—Testimonies for the Church 5:364, 365.

The trials of the children of Israel, and their attitude just

before the first coming of Christ, illustrate the position of the

people of God in their experience before the second coming

of Christ.-- R. and H., 1890, No. 7. {HL 280.1}

Satan's snares are laid for us as verily as they were laid for

the children of Israel just prior to their entrance into the land

of Canaan. We are repeating the history of that people.--T.,

No. 31, p. 156. {HL 280.2}

The trials of the children of Israel, and their attitude just

before the first coming of Christ, illustrate the position of the

people of God in their experience before the second coming

of Christ.-- R. and H., 1890, No. 7. {HL 280.1}

Satan's snares are laid for us as verily as they were laid for

the children of Israel just prior to their entrance into the land

of Canaan. We are repeating the history of that people.--T.,

No. 31, p. 156. {HL 280.2}

The alliances made by the Israelites with their heathen neighbors

resulted in the loss of their identity as God's peculiar people. They

became leavened by the evil practises of those with whom they

formed forbidden alliances. Affiliation with worldlings caused them

to lose their first love, and their zeal for God's service. The

advantages they sold themselves to gain, brought only

disappointment, and caused the loss of many souls. {4BC 1155.8}

Solomon began to lose sight

of the Source of his power

and glory. Inclination gained

the ascendency over reason.

As his self-confidence

increased, he sought to

carry out the Lord's purpose

in his own way.

He reasoned that political and commercial

alliances with the surrounding nations

would bring them to a knowledge of the

true God; and so he entered into unholy

alliance with nation after nation. Often

these alliances were sealed by marriage

with heathen princesses. The commands

of Jehovah were set aside for the customs

of the surrounding nations. {FE 498.4}

During the years of Solomon's apostasy, the spiritual

decline of Israel was rapid. How could it have been

otherwise, when their king united with satanic

agencies? Through these agencies the enemy worked

to confuse the minds of the people in regard to true and

false worship. They became an easy prey.

It came to be a common practice to intermarry with the

heathen. The Israelites rapidly lost their abhorrence of idolatry.

Heathen customs were introduced. Idolatrous mothers brought

their children up to observe heathen rites. The Hebrew faith

was fast becoming a mixture of confused ideas.

Commerce with other nations

brought the Israelites into intimate

contact with those who had no

love for God, and their own love

for Him was greatly lessened.

Their keen sense of the high and

holy character of God was

deadened. Refusing to follow in

the path of obedience, they

transferred their allegiance to

Satan. {FE 499.1}

The enemy rejoiced in his

success in effacing the divine

image from the minds of the

people that God has chosen as

His representatives. Through

inter-marriage with idolaters and

constant association with them,

Satan brought about that for

which he had long been working,-

-a national apostasy. {FE 499.1}

Solomon flattered himself that his wisdom and the power of

his example would lead his wives from idolatry to the

worship of the true God, and also that the alliances thus

formed would draw the nations round about into close

touch with Israel. Vain hope! Solomon's mistake in

regarding himself as strong enough to resist the influence

of heathen associates was fatal. And fatal, too, the

deception that led him to hope that notwithstanding a

disregard of God's law on his part, others might be led to

revere and obey its sacred precepts. {CC 192.3}

Marriage

God designs that every Christian home in its harmony, peace, and

love should be a model of the home in heaven. In fulfillment of

this ideal there can be no marriage with unbelievers, for in

homes established under the unequal yoke, 'the shadows are

never lifted.‘ (Deuteronomy 11:19-21,matthew 6:9-10)

God has called His church in this day, as He called ancient Israel, to stand

as a light in the earth. By the mighty cleaver of truth, the messages of the

first, second, and third angels, He has separated them from the churches

and from the world to bring them into a sacred nearness to Himself. He has

made them the depositaries of His law and has committed to them the great

truths of prophecy for this time. Like the holy oracles committed to ancient

Israel, these are a sacred trust to be communicated to the world. The three

angels of Revelation 14 represent the people who accept the light of God's

messages and go forth as His agents to sound the warning throughout the

length and breadth of the earth. Christ declares to His followers: "Ye are

the light of the world."

Marriage

Our ministers will honor the divine counsel given by refusing to

officiate at mixed marriages. Courtships should likewise be conducted

in harmony with the highest Christian principles. 'Marriage has been

perverted by sin; but it is the purpose of the gospel to restore its

purity and beauty.'—Mount of Blessing, p. 100.

Marriage

We deplore the tragic abandonment of the family altar in many an

Adventist home and urgently appeal for its revival and faithful

maintenance. In these days of lowered standards careful heed should

also be given to the vital counsel from the Lord: 'Whosoever shall put

away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another,

committeth adultery; and whoso marrieth her that is put away doth

commit adultery.' Matt. 19:8,9

Malachi 2: 16

For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce…

Divorce is no light and trifling matter.

A person who has passed through divorce proceedings has

had a regrettable and unfortunate experience which will

always leave a scar. If there should be any adequate

reason for question about the Biblical cause for such

divorce, or about guilt regarding the individual, such person

should not be looked to for leadership in our churches.

6.Engagemnet

5.Courtship

4.Seeking counsel with the parents of the one who you are desiring to court/marry

3.Seeking Counsel

2. Am I Prepared for Marriage

1. Is God Calling You to Marriage ? (Is it time)

7.Marriage

Proverbs 9:1 Wisdom hath builded her house, she hath hewn out her seven pillars..

Psalm 127:1 Except the Lord build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except

the Lord keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.:

Let every step toward a marriage alliance be

characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and

an earnest purpose to please and honor God.

Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and

in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make

no plans that God cannot approve. {AH 49.1}

1. Is God Calling You to Marriage ?

(Is it time)- 1corin.7:6-11

• Satan is constantly busy to hurry inexperienced youth into a marriage alliance. MESSAGES TO YOUNG PEOPLE, PAGE 455

• “Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring

lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour: Whom resist

steadfast in the faith” 1 Peter 5:8, 9.

“If men and women are

in the habit of praying

twice a day before they

contemplate marriage,

they should pray four

times a day when such

a step is anticipated”

Adventist Home,

page 71

The question is asked, Wherewithal shall a young man cleanse his

way and the answer is given, By taking heed thereto according to

Thy word. The young man who makes the Bible his guide, need not

mistake the path of duty and of safety. That blessed book will teach

him to preserve his integrity of character, to be truthful, to practice no

deception .MYP, 446.

Luke 17:27-30 They did eat, they drank, they married wives, they were

given in marriage, until the day that Noah entered into the ark, and the

flood came, and destroyed them all. Likewise also as it was in the days

of Lot; they did eat, they drank, they bought, they sold, they planted, they

builded; But the same day that Lot went out of Sodom it rained fire and

brimstone from heaven, and destroyed them all. Even thus shall it be in

the day when the Son of man is revealed.

Marriage Is Lawful and Holy.--There is in itself no sin in eating and

drinking, or in marrying and giving in marriage. It was lawful to marry in

the time of Noah, and it is lawful to marry now, if that which is lawful is

properly treated and not carried to sinful excess. But in the days of Noah

men married without consulting God or seeking His guidance and

counsel. . . . {AH 121.3}

(proverbs 16:3,Psalms 14:1)

In deciding upon any

course of action we

are not to ask whether

we can see that harm

will result from it, but

whether it is in

keeping with the will

of God.

Patriarch and Prophets page 634.2Jeremiah 10:23, Proverbs 16:9

Adultery is the bringing in of any 3rd party

into this relationship. Now, somebody

says, “Oh, that’s talking about married

people.”

I want to tell you, friends, the 7th

commandment is just as much for single

People as it is for married people. Until a

young man has demonstrated full

obedience to the 7th commandment,

single, he’s not ready to be married; and

so with a young woman.

“Thou shalt not commit adultery” Exodus 20:14.

Let’s face it, the wedding day has

come. The bride and the groom stand

there before the minister, and the

question is put to that young man: “Will

you, John Jones take this woman,

Mary Smith to be your wedded wife, to

live with her after God’s ordinance in

the holiest state of matrimony? Will you

love her, honor her, cherish her, and,

forsaking all others, keep you only unto

her as long as you both shall live?”

“Thou shalt not commit adultery” Exodus 20:14.

There’s many a young man, if he were real honest, would have to

say something like this – of course this has never happened, I just

say it would have to happen, if we were dealing with realities,

instead of forms and ceremonies – that young man would have to

say to the minister: “Preacher, what is this you’re asking me?

You’re asking me to promise that I’m never to look at another girl

again? -Never to make love to another girl? That I’m supposed to

keep this one as long as we both shall live and keep myself only

unto her – my eyes, my hands, my thoughts, my heart, my body,

all just for her and her alone? Preacher isn’t that asking a lot?”

The preacher would have to say, if he stuck with the Word of God,

“Yes, it’s asking a lot; it’s asking everything.”

Then, the young man, if he were really honest, would have to conclude the

dialogue by saying: “Preacher, to tell you the truth, I don’t know whether I could

promise that, and keep it or not; I’ve never tried. Since I was a teenager and all

the way through, I’ve run with whoever I have felt like, if I could get them. I’ve put

my hands where I pleased, if the other party permitted it. I’ve run first with this

one, and that one, and sometimes with several at once, and now you’re asking

me to leave all that and keep myself only unto this girl? I don’t know preacher,

whether I can do it or not.”

That would be really honest, wouldn’t it? As I say, that never

happened. But oh, my dear friends, if you really want a

happy home, a successful home, a Christian home, you’ll

have to start keeping the 7th commandment when you’re a

child. You’ll have to start guarding your affections and

controlling your affections and passions and not letting your

thoughts run after this one and that one, and this one and

that one, and this one and that one, and your body follow

suit. Oh, no, that won’t do.

2. Am I Prepared for Marriage

Where does a man get a good wife?

“A prudent wife is from the Lord” Proverbs 19:14.

Whoso findeth such a wife, Findeth a good thing, and

obtaineth favor of the LORD Proverbs 18:22.

"A prudent wife is from the Lord." "The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her. . . . She will do him good and not evil all the days of

her life." "She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of

kindness. She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of

idleness. Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her,"

saying, "Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all." He who gains such a wife "findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favor of the Lord." Proverbs 19:14; 31:11, 12, 26-29; 18:22. {MH 359.4}

“Attachments formed in childhood have often resulted in very wretched

unions or in disgraceful separations. Early connections, if formed

without the consent of parents, have seldom proved happy. The young

affections should be restrained until the period arrives when sufficient

age and experience will make it honorable and safe to unfetter them.

Those who will not be restrained will be in danger of dragging out an

unhappy existence.” {AH 79.3}

“This is a fast age. Little boys and girls commence paying attentions to one

another when they should both be in the nursery, taking lessons in modesty of

deportment. What is the effect of this common mixing up? Does it increase

chastity in the youth who thus gather together? No, indeed! it increases the first

lustful passions” Testimonies for the Church, Volume 2,

page 482.

“The forwardness of young girls in placing themselves in the

company of young men, hanging around where they are at work,

entering into conversation with them, talking common, idle talk,

is belittling to womanhood. It lowers them, even in the estimation

of those who themselves do such things.{TSB 245.2}.

Counsel to a Romantic, Lovesick Girl : “You have fallen into the sad error

which is so prevalent in this degenerate age, especially with women. You

are too fond of the other sex. You love their society; your attention to them

is flattering, and you encourage, or permit, a familiarity which does not

always accord with the exhortation of the apostle, to "abstain from all

appearance of evil." . . . {AH 52.3}

She was sitting in your lap; you were kissing her, and she was kissing

you. Other scenes of fondness, sensual looks and deportment, were

presented before me, which sent a thrill of horror through my soul. Your

arm encircled her waist, and the fondness expressed was having a

bewitching influence. Then a curtain was lifted, and I was shown you in

bed with _____. My guide said, "Iniquity, adultery.". . . {8MR 317.1}

Angels are watching and listening:

“Not one word should be spoken, not

one action performed, that you would

not be willing the holy angels should

look upon and register in the books

above. You should have an eye

single to the glory of God....Anything

different from this is debasing,

degrading in courtship; and marriage

cannot be holy and honorable in the

sight of a pure and holy God, unless

it is after the exalted Scriptural

principle. {AH 55.2}

A little time spent in sowing your wild oats, dear young friends, will

produce a crop that will embitter your whole life; an hour of

thoughtlessness, once yielding to temptation, may turn the whole current

of your life in the wrong direction. You can have but one youth; make that

useful. When once you have passed over the ground you can never

return to rectify your mistakes.... The youth may have principles so firm

that the most powerful temptations of Satan will not draw them away from

their allegiance. {Mar 82.6}

Trifling With Hearts: “To trifle with hearts is a crime of no small magnitude in the

sight of a holy God. And yet some will show preference for young ladies and call

out their affections, and then go their way and forget all about the words they

have spoken and their effect. A new face attracts them, and they repeat the same

words, devote to another the same attentions.” {AH 57.1}

Love is a precious gift, which we receive

from Jesus. Pure and holy affection is not

a feeling, but a principle. Those who are

actuated by true love are neither

unreasonable nor blind. {AH 50.1}

There is but little real, genuine, devoted,

pure love. This precious article is very rare.

Passion is termed love. {AH 50.2}

Love Is a Precious Gift From Jesus

True love is a high and holy principle, altogether different

in character from that love which is awakened by impulse, and which suddenly dies when

severely tested. {AH 50.3}

Love is a plant of heavenly

growth, and it must be

fostered and nourished.

Affectionate hearts, truthful,

loving words, will make

happy families and exert an

elevating influence upon all

who come within the sphere

of their influence. {AH 50.4}

Love . . . is not unreasonable; it is not

blind. It is pure and holy. But the

passion of the natural heart is another

thing altogether. While pure love will

take God into all its plans, and will be

in perfect harmony with the Spirit of

God, passion will be headstrong,

rash, unreasonable, defiant of all

restraint, and will make the object of

its choice an idol. In all the

deportment of one who possesses

true love, the grace of God will be

shown. {AH 50.5}

Modesty, simplicity, sincerity, morality,

and religion will characterize every step

toward an alliance in marriage.

Those who are thus controlled will not be

absorbed in each other's society, at a loss

of interest in the prayer meeting and the

religious service.

Their fervor for the truth will not die on

account of the neglect of the

opportunities and privileges that God has

graciously given to them. {AH 50.5}

That love which has no better foundation than

mere sensual gratification will be headstrong,

blind, and uncontrollable. Honor, truth, and

every noble, elevated power of the mind are

brought under the slavery of passions. The

man who is bound in the chains of this

infatuation is too often deaf to the voice of

reason and conscience; neither argument nor

entreaty can lead him to see the folly of his

course. {AH 51.1}

True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On

the contrary, it is calm and deep in its nature. It looks

beyond mere externals, and is attracted by qualities

alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is

real and abiding. {AH 51.2}

Love, lifted out of the realm of passion and impulse, becomes

spiritualized, and is revealed in words and acts. A Christian

must have a sanctified tenderness and love in which there is

no impatience of fretfulness; the rude, harsh manners must be

softened by the grace of Christ. {AH 51.3}

To love as Christ loved means to manifest unselfishness at all times

and in all places, by kind words and pleasant looks. These cost those

who give them nothing, but they leave behind a fragrance that

surrounds the soul. Their effect can never be estimated. Not only are

they a blessing to the receiver, but to the giver; for they react upon him.

Genuine love is a precious attribute of heavenly origin, which increases

in fragrance in proportion as it is dispensed to others. LYL 16 - 17

To a Youthful Student: You

are now in your student's life;

let your mind dwell upon

spiritual subjects. Keep all

sentimentalism apart from

your life...You are now in the

formative period of

character; nothing with you

is to be considered trivial or

unimportant which will

detract from your highest,

holiest interest, your

efficiency in the preparation

to do the work God has

assigned you.” {AH 53.2}

Students, students, students: “While at school, students should

not allow their minds to become confused by thoughts of

courtship. They are there to gain a fitness to work for God, and

this thought is ever to be uppermost.” {CT100.2}

“Some of those who attend the college do not properly improve their time.

Full of the buoyancy of youth, they spurn the restraint that is brought to

bear upon them. Especially do they rebel against the rules that will not

allow young gentlemen to pay their attentions to young ladies. Full well is

known the evil of such a course in this degenerate age. ... The infatuation

on the part of both young men and women in thus placing the affections

upon each other during school days shows a lack of good judgment”

Testimonies for the Church, Volume 5, page

110.

“Should you, my brother, go to our college now, as you

have planned, I fear for your course there. Your

expressed determination to have a lady’s company

wherever you should go shows me that you are far from

being in a position to be benefited by going to Battle

Creek. The infatuation which is upon you is more satanic

than divine. I do not wish to have you disappointed in

regard to Battle Creek. The rules are strict there. No

courting is allowed. The school would be worth nothing to

students were they to become entangled in love affairs

as you have been. Testimonies for the Church, Volume 5,

page 109.

Our college would soon be demoralized. Parents do not

send their children to our college or to our offices to

commence a lovesick, sentimental life, but to be

educated in the sciences or to learn the printer’s trade.

Were the rules so lax that the youth were allowed to

become bewildered and infatuated with the society of the

opposite sex as you have been for some months past,

the object of their going to Battle Creek would be

lost.Testimonies for the Church, Volume 5, page 109.

If you cannot put this entirely out of your mind

and go there with the spirit of a learner and with

a purpose to arouse yourself to the most

earnest, humble, sincere efforts, praying that you

may have a close connection with God, it would

be better for you to remain at home” Testimonies

for the Church, Volume 5, page 109.

College students: “It would be well could there be

connected with our College, land for cultivation, and also

work-shops, under the charge of men competent to

instruct the students in the various departments of

physical labor. {CE36.3}

Much is lost by a neglect to unite physical with mental

taxation. The leisure hours of the student are often

occupied with frivolous pleasures, which weaken

physical, mental, and moral powers. Under the debasing

power of sensual indulgence, or the untimely excitement

of courtship and marriage, many students fail to reach

that height of mental development which they might

otherwise have attained. {CE36.3}

Keeping Late Hours: “The habit of

sitting up late at night is customary; but

it is not pleasing to God, even if you are

both Christians. These untimely hours

injure health, unfit the mind for the next

day's duties, and have an appearance

of evil. My brother, I hope you will have

self-respect enough to shun this form of

courtship. If you have an eye single to

the glory of God, you will move with

deliberate caution. You will not suffer

lovesick sentimentalism to so blind your

vision that you cannot discern the high

claims that God has upon you as a

Christian.” {AH 56.1}

Chatting besides the devil:

“Satan's angels are keeping

watch with those who devote a

large share of the night to

courting. Could they have their

eyes opened, they would see

an angel making a record of

their words and acts. The laws

of health and modesty are

violated.” {AH 56.2}

Home Chores

“And if ye have not been faithful in that

which is another man’s who shall give you

that which is your own” Luke 16:12.

courting.

“It is by faithfulness to duty in the parental

home that the youth are to prepare

themselves for homes of their own”

Messages to

Young People, page 466.

“I have the most painful sense of

helplessness when parties come to me

for counsel upon this subject. I may

speak to them the words that God

would have me, but they frequently

question every point and plead the

wisdom of carrying out their own

purposes and eventually they do so”

Messages to Young People, page 458.

Marriage, Courtship and Dating

“The good of society, as well as the

highest interest of the students,

demands that they shall not attempt

to select a life partner while their

own character is yet undeveloped,

their judgment immature, and while

they are at the same time deprived

of parental care and guidance”

Messages to Young

People, page 442.

“Where no counsel is, the people fall” Proverbs 11:14.

3. Seeking Counsel

Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the

multitude of counselors they are established” Proverbs 15:22.

“Every purpose is established by counsel: and with good advice make war” Proverbs 20:18.

“Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of

understanding will draw it out” Proverbs 20:5.

“Where no counsel is, the people fall” Proverbs 11:14.

3. Seeking Counsel

“Meekness and lowliness of heart will lead men to desire

counsel at every step” Testimonies to Ministers and Gospel

Workers, page 501.

If there is any subject that should be considered with

calm reason and unimpassioned judgment,

it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before

taking a step that binds persons together for life.

3. Seeking Counsel

The underhand way in which courtships and

marriages are carried on is the cause of a great

amount of misery, the full extent of which is known only to God. On this rock

thousands have made shipwreck of their souls.

3. Seeking Counsel

If there is any subject that should be considered with

calm reason and unimpassioned judgment,

it is the subject of marriage. If ever the Bible is needed as a counselor, it is before

taking a step that binds persons together for life.

3. Seeking Counsel

Professed Christians, whose lives are

marked with integrity, and who seem

sensible upon every other subject, make

fearful mistakes here. They manifest a

set, determined will that reason cannot

change. They become so fascinated with

human feelings and impulses that they

have no desire to search the Bible and

come into close relationship with God.

3. Seeking Counsel

If there ever was a subject that needed to be viewed from

every standpoint, it is this. The aid of the experience of

others, and a calm, careful weighing of the matter on both

sides, is positively essential. It is a subject that is treated

altogether too lightly by the great majority of people.

I wish I could make the youth see and feel their

danger, especially the danger of making unhappy

marriages. Marriage is something that will

influence and affect your life both in this world

and in the world to come.

A sincere Christian will

not advance his plans in

this direction without the

knowledge that God

approves his course. He

will not want to choose

for himself, but will feel

that God must choose for

him. We are not to please

ourselves, for Christ

pleased not Himself

Psalm 37:23 The steps of a good man

are ordered by the Lord: and he

delighteth in his way.

3. Seeking Counsel

I would not be understood to mean that anyone is to marry one whom he does not love. This would be sin.

But fancy and the emotional nature must not be allowed to lead on to ruin. God requires the whole

heart, the supreme affections. (Psalms 37:3-5,27:14)

While they are to love and

honor their parents, they are

also to respect the judgment of

men of experience with whom

they are connected in the

church. Messages to Young

People, page 445.

When so much misery results

from marriage, why will not the

youth be wise? Why will they

continue to feel that they do not

need the counsel of older and

more experienced persons?”

Adventist Home, page 72.

Matthew 7:13-14 Enter ye in at the strait gate: for wide is the gate, and broad is the

way, that leadeth to destruction, and many there be which go in thereat: Because strait

is the gate, and narrow is the way, which leadeth unto life, and few there be that find it

Marriage

Vital Factors in the Choice.

Great care should be taken by Christian youth in the formation of friendships and in

the choice of companions. Take heed, lest what you now think to be pure gold turns

out to be base metal. Worldly associations tend to place obstructions in the way of

your service to God, and many souls are ruined by unhappy unions, either business

or matrimonial, with those who can never elevate or ennoble. {AH 44.3}

“The gospel net gathers both good and

bad. It takes time for character to be

developed; there must be time to learn

what men really are” Testimonies for the

Church, Volume 5, page

618.

“Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be partaker of

other men’s sins: keep thyself pure” 1 Timothy 5:22.

Take God and your God-fearing parents into your counsel, young friends. Pray

over the matter.

Weigh every sentiment, and watch every development of character in

the one with whom you think to link your life destiny. The step you

are about to take is one of the most important in your life, and

should not be taken hastily.

While you may love, do not love blindly.

“Puritan plainness and

simplicity should mark the

dwellings and apparel of all

who believe the solemn truths

for this time. All means

needlessly expended in dress

or in the adorning of our

houses is a waste of our

Lord’s money” Testimonies for

the Church, Volume 5, page

189.

Some characteristics a Godly Husband

1) Love God - Deuteronomy 6:5

2) Love your wife - Ephesians 5:25-29

3) Manage your family - Ephesians 6:4

4) Provide for your home - 2 Thessalonian 3:10-12

5) Be Involved in a Local Church - Hebrews 10:25

6)Spiritual minded and Christ-like - Philippians 2:5 , Romans 8:6-7, 1 John 2:6 ,1 Corinthians 11:1

,John 14:15 Galatians 4:19,2 Corinthians 2:14,John 13:3-5,Matthew 5:48,Titus 3:1-8 ,1 Corinthians

1:3-15,John 15:20,Romans 6:4, Galatians 5:22-23, Luke 6:46, Galatians 3:27

Husbands should be careful, attentive, constant, faithful, and compassionate.

They should manifest love and sympathy.... When the husband has the nobility of

character, purity of heart, elevation of mind, that every true Christian must

possess, it will be made manifest in the marriage relation.... He will seek to keep

his wife in health and courage. He will strive to speak words of comfort, to create

an atmosphere of peace in the home circle. [10] – {AH 228.2}

Some characteristics of a Godly Wife

1) Love God - Deuteronomy 6:5

2) She is a Virtuous woman-Proverbs 31:10-31

3)Good Conduct -1 Timothy 2:9-10,1 Peter3:3-4,Proverbs 31:10, Colossian

3:12-14,jeremiah 4:30

4)They should be witness to the younger woman-Titus 2:4-5

5) Be Involved in a Local Church - Hebrews 10:25

6)Spiritual minded and Christ-like - Philippians 2:5 , Romans 8:6-7, 1 John

2:6 ,1 Corinthians 11:1 ,John 14:15 Galatians 4:19,2 Corinthians 2:14,John

13:3-5,Matthew 5:48,Titus 3:1-8 ,1 Corinthians 1:3-15,John 15:20,Romans 6:4,

Galatians 5:22-23, Luke 6:46, Galatians 3:27

Here are some addition for the wives. 1. Respect your husband. 2.Do not be

loud, stubborn or feet wont abide at own house ( Prov 7:11) 3.Submit unto

your husbands (Eph 5:22,23.) 4. Do not be beguiled by another man as Eve

was.( Gen 3:1-3). 5. Remember that the man is the covering of the Woman

(1Cor 11:2-16) 6. Woe unto them with children in the last days. (Matt 24:19)…

Proverbs 22:6 Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will

not depart from it.

Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious

and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me

heavenward? Will it increase my love for God? And will it enlarge my sphere of

usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in the

fear of God move forward. {AH 45.2}

The choice of a life companion should be such as best to secure

physical, mental, and spiritual well-being for parents and for their

children—such as will enable both parents and children to bless

their fellow men and to honor their Creator.

Qualities to Be Sought in a Prospective Wife—Let a young man seek

one to stand by his side who is fitted to bear her share of life’s

burdens, one whose influence will ennoble and refine him, and

who will make him happy in her love. (Proverbs 31:10-14)

4.Seek counsel with the parents of the one who you are desiring to court/marry

Deuteronomy 32:7 Remember the days of old,

consider the years of many generations: ask thy

father, and he will shew thee; thy elders, and

they will tell thee.

"Thou shalt not steal" was written by the finger

of God upon the tables of stone; yet how

much underhand stealing of affections is

practiced and excused. A deceptive courtship

is maintained, private communications are

kept up, until the affections of one who is

inexperienced, and knows not whereunto

these things may grow, are in a measure

withdrawn from her parents and placed upon

him who shows by the very course he pursues

that he is unworthy of her love.” {LYL 49.2}

Humble thieves

Deceptive Practices in Courtship: “A young man who enjoys the

society and wins the friendship of a young lady unbeknown to her

parents does not act a noble Christian part toward her or toward her

parents. Through secret communications and meetings he may gain

an influence over her mind, but in so doing he fails to manifest that

nobility and integrity of soul which every child of God will possess.

{AH 57.3}

In order to accomplish their ends, they act a part that is not frank and

open and according to the Bible standard, and prove themselves untrue to

those who love them and try to be faithful guardians over them. Marriages

contracted under such influences are not according to the word of God.

He who would lead a daughter away from duty, who would confuse her

ideas of God's plain and positive commands to obey and honor her

parents, is not one who would be true to the marriage obligations. . . .” {AH 57.3}

If you are blessed with God-fearing parents, seek counsel of them.

Open to them your hopes and plans, learn the lessons which their life

experiences have taught, and you will be saved many a heartache.

Above all, make Christ your counselor. Study His word with prayer.

“‘Should parents,’ you ask, ‘select a companion without regard to

the mind or feelings of son or daughter?’” This was his question.

“Why,” this young man says, “do you think a father or mother

ought to pick out a companion for me without regard to my mind

or feelings?”

“I put the question to you as it should be: Should a son or

daughter select a companion without first consulting the parents?”

when such a step must materially affect the happiness of parents

if they have any affection for their children? And should that child,

notwithstanding the counsel and entreaties of his parents, persist

in following his own course? I answer decidedly” “No; not if he

never marries. Adventist Home, page 75.

“The fifth commandment forbids such a course.

‘Honor thy father and thy mother: that thy days may

be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth

thee.’ Here is a commandment with a promise which

the Lord will surely fulfill to those who obey. Wise

parents will never select companions for their children

without respect to their wishes”

Adventist Home, page 75.

5.Courtship

What is Courtship ?

Courtship is the sincere desire of two

to see if it is God will for them to be

Married

5.Courtship

Examine carefully to see if your married life would be happy or inharmonious

and wretched. Let the questions be raised, Will this union help me

heavenward? Will it increase my love for God? And will it enlarge my sphere

of usefulness in this life? If these reflections present no drawback, then in

the fear of God move forward. {AH 45.2}

Make Haste Slowly—Few have correct views of the marriage relation. Many seem to think that it is the attainment of perfect

bliss; but if they could know one quarter of the heartaches of men and women that are bound by the marriage vow in chains that they cannot and dare not break, they would not be surprised that I trace

these lines.

Marriage, in a majority of cases, is a most galling yoke. There are thousands that are mated but not matched. The books of heaven are burdened with the woes, the wickedness, and the abuse that lie

hidden under the marriage mantle.

This is why I would warn the young who are of a marriageable age to make haste slowly in the choice of a companion. The path of married life may appear beautiful and full of happiness; but why may not you be disappointed as thousands of others have been?

Those who are contemplating marriage should consider what will be the character and influence of the home they are founding. As they become parents, a sacred trust is committed to them. Upon them depends in a great measure the well-being of their children in this

world, and their happiness in the world to come.

To a great extent they determine both the physical and the moral stamp that the little ones receive. And upon the character of the

home depends the condition of society; the weight of each family’s influence will tell in the upward or the downward scale.

“Lay hands suddenly on no man, neither be

partaker of other men’s sins: keep thyself

pure” 1 Timothy 5:22.

“The gospel net gathers both good and bad. It

takes time for character to be developed; there

must be time to learn what men really are”

Testimonies for the Church, Volume 5, page

618.

“If men and women are in the

habit of praying twice a day

before they contemplate

marriage, they should pray four

times a day when such a step is

anticipated.

Adventist Home, page 71.

Dangers of Childhood Attachments: “Early

marriages are not to be encouraged. A relation

so important as marriage and so far-reaching in

its results should not be entered upon hastily,

without sufficient preparation, and before the

mental and physical powers are well developed.

{AH 79.1}

Too haste splits the yam: “Boys and girls enter

upon the marriage relation with unripe love,

immature judgment, without noble, elevated

feelings, and take upon themselves the

marriage vows, wholly led by their boyish, girlish

passions...” {AH79.2}

Teens must wait: “Attachments formed in

childhood have often resulted in very wretched

unions or in disgraceful separations. Early

connections, if formed without the consent of

parents, have seldom proved happy. The young

affections should be restrained until the period

arrives when sufficient age and experience will

make it honorable and safe to unfetter them.

Those who will not be restrained will be in

danger of dragging out an unhappy existence.”

Adventist Home, page 79.3

Under twenty is Under age: “A youth not

out of his teens is a poor judge of the

fitness of a person as young as himself

to be his companion for life...” {AH 79.4}.

Counsel to a Teen-age Youth: “Your

boyish ideas of love for young girls does

not give anyone a high opinion of you.

By letting your mind run in this channel,

you spoil your thoughts for study.” {AH

81.2}

The Aftermath of Blind Love: Every faculty of those who become affected by

this contagious disease-- blind love--is brought in subjection to it. They seem

to be devoid of good sense, and their course of action is disgusting to all

who behold it. . . . With many the crisis of the disease is reached in an

immature marriage, and when the novelty is past and the bewitching power

of love-making is over, one or both parties awake to their true situation. They

then find themselves ill-mated, but united for life.” {AH 84.3}

6. Engagement“If men and women are in the

habit of praying twice a day

before they contemplate

marriage, they should pray four

times a day when such a step is

anticipated.

Adventist Home, page 71.

“Make Haste Slowly. Few have correct views of the

marriage relation. Many seem to think that it is the

attainment of perfect bliss; but if they could know

one quarter of the heartaches of men and women

that are bound by the marriage vow in chains that

they cannot and dare not break, they would not be

surprised that I trace these lines. Marriage, in a

majority of cases, is a most galling yoke. There are

thousands that are mated but not matched”

Adventist Home, page 44.

“Marriage, in a majority of cases, is a most

galling yoke. There are thousands that are

mated but not matched. The books of heaven

are burdened with the woes, the wickedness,

and the abuse that lie hidden under the

marriage mantle. This is why I would warn the

young who are of a marriageable age to make

haste slowly in the choice of a companion”

Adventist Home, page 44.

Better not to than do it wrongly: “It will be far better not to

marry at all, than to be unfortunately married. But seek

counsel of God in all these things, be so calm, so submissive

to the will of God that you will not be in a fever of excitement

and unqualified for His service by your attachments.

{LYL37.2}

Early marriages are not to be

encouraged. A relation so

important as marriage and so far-

reaching in its results should not

be entered upon hastily, without

sufficient preparation, and before

the mental and physical powers

are well developed. {AH 79.1}

Too haste splits the yam: “Boys

and girls enter upon the

marriage relation with unripe

love, immature judgment,

without noble, elevated feelings,

and take upon themselves the

marriage vows, wholly led by

their boyish, girlish passions...”

{AH79.2}

Even if an engagement has

been entered into without a full

understanding of the character

of the one with whom you intend

to unite, do not think that the

engagement makes it a positive

necessity for you to take upon

yourself the marriage vow and

link yourself for life to one whom

you cannot love and respect.

{AH 48.2}

Better to Break Unwise Engagement

Be very careful how you enter

into conditional engagements;

but better, far better, break the

engagement before marriage

than separate afterward, as

many do. {AH 48.2}

Better to Break Unwise Engagement

You may say, "But I have given my

promise, and shall I now retract it?"

I answer, If you have made a

promise contrary to the Scriptures,

by all means retract it without delay,

and in humility before God repent of

the infatuation that led you to make

so rash a pledge. Far better take

back such a promise, in the fear of

God, than keep it, and thereby

dishonor your Maker. {AH 48.3}

Better to Break Unwise Engagement

Far better take back

such a promise, in

the fear of God, than

keep it, and thereby

dishonor your Maker.

{AH 48.3}

Better to Break Unwise Engagement

Let every step toward a marriage alliance be

characterized by modesty, simplicity, sincerity, and

an earnest purpose to please and honor God.

Marriage affects the afterlife both in this world and

in the world to come. A sincere Christian will make

no plans that God cannot approve. {AH 49.1}

The fact that a disregard of the custom occasions remark is no good reason for

adopting it. Americans can make their position understood by plainly stating that the

custom is not regarded as obligatory in our country. We need not wear the sign, for

we are not untrue to our marriage vow, and the wearing of the ring would be no

evidence that we were true. I feel deeply over this leavening process which seems to

be going on among us, in the conformity to custom and fashion. Not one penny

should be spent for a circlet of gold to testify that we are married

The use of temples, and those dedicated to theparticular saints, and ornamented on occasionwith branches of trees, incense, lamps andcandles; votive offering on recovery from illness,holy water, asylums, holy days and seasons, useof calendars, processions, blessing on the fields,sacerdotal vestment, the tonsure, the ring inmarriage, turning to the east, images at a laterdate, perhaps the ecclesiastical chant and theKyrie Eleison are all of pagan origin, andsanctified by adoption into the church

{ Cardinal J.H. Newman: An Essay on the Developmentof Christian Doctrine, P 373}

Pages 60-61

The apostle presents the inward adorning, in contrast with the outward, and tells us

what the great God values. The outward is corruptible. But the meek and quiet spirit,

the development of a beautifully symmetrical character, will never decay. It is an

adornment which is not perishable. In the sight of the Creator of everything that is

valuable, lovely, and beautiful it is declared to be of great price. {ML 123.2}

Psalms 45:13

The king's daughter is all

glorious within: her

clothing is of wrought gold.

Who can find a virtuous

woman? for her price is far

above rubies. The heart of her

husband doth safely trust in her,

so that he shall have no need of

spoil. Proverbs 31:10-11.

Shall we not seek earnestly to gain that which God estimates as more valuable than

costly dress, or pearls, or gold? The inward adorning, the grace of meekness, a spirit

in harmony with the heavenly angels, will not lessen true dignity of character or

make us less lovely here in this world. The Redeemer has warned us against the pride

of life, but not against its grace and natural beauty. {ML 123.3}

Self-denial in dress is a part of our

Christian duty. To dress plainly and

abstain from display of jewelry and

ornaments of every kind is in keeping

with our faith. {ML 123.4}

Genesis 35:1-4 And God said unto Jacob, Arise, go up to Bethel, and dwell there: and

make there an altar unto God, that appeared unto thee when thou fleddest from the face

of Esau thy brother. Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that were with him,

Put away the strange gods that are among you, and be clean, and change your garments:

And let us arise, and go up to Bethel; and I will make there an altar unto God, who

answered me in the day of my distress, and was with me in the way which I went. And

they gave unto Jacob all the strange gods which were in their hand, and all their earrings

which were in their ears; and Jacob hid them under the oak which was by Shechem.

In early times custom required the, before the ratification of a marriage

engagement, to pay a sum of money or its bridegroom equivalent in other

property, according to his circumstances, to the father of his wife. This was

regarded as a safeguard to the marriage relation. . . . But provision was

made to test those who had nothing to pay for a wife. They were permitted to

labor for the father whose daughter they loved, the length of time being

regulated by the value of the dowry required. When the suitor was faithful

in his services, and proved in other respects worthy, he obtained the

daughter as his wife; and generally the dowry which the father had received

was given her at her marriage. . . . {CC 66.3}

The ancient custom, though sometimes abused, as by Laban, was productive

of good results. When the suitor was required to render service to secure his

bride, a hasty marriage was prevented, and there was opportunity to test the

depth of his affections, as well as his ability to provide for a family. In our

time many evils result from pursuing an opposite course. It is often the case

that persons before marriage have little opportunity to become acquainted

with each other's habits and disposition, and, so far as everyday life is

concerned, they are virtually strangers when they unite their interests at the

altar. Many find, too late, that they are not adapted to each other, and

lifelong wretchedness is the result of their union. {CC 66.4}

It is a sin to place poorly prepared food on the

table, because the matter of eating concerns

the well-being of the entire system. CD 251

Cooking …

Let not the work of cooking be

looked upon as a sort of

slavery. What would become

of those in our world if all who

are engaged in cooking

should give up their work with

the flimsy excuse that it is not

sufficiently dignified? Cooking

may be regarded as less

desirable than some other

lines of work, but in reality it is

a science in value above all

other sciences. CD 251Cooking …

Thus God regards the

preparation of healthful

food.…. This talent should be

regarded as equal in value to

ten talents; for its right use

has much to do with keeping

the human organism in

health. Because so

inseparably connected with

life and health, it is the most

valuable of all gifts. CD 251 Cooking …

Baking bread …

There are very many girls who

have married and have families

who have but little practical

knowledge of the duties devolving

upon a wife and mother. They can

read, and play upon an instrument

of music; but they cannot cook.

They cannot make good bread,

which is very essential to the

health of the family.

Sewing …

They cannot cut and make

garments, for they never

learned how. They considered

these things unessential, and in

their married life they are as

dependent upon someone to do

these things for them as are

their own little children. It is this

inexcusable ignorance in regard

to the most needful duties of life

which makes very many

unhappy families. 3T 156

Domestic duties …

They (students) need to

become familiar with the

duties of daily life. They

should be taught to do

their domestic duties

thoroughly and well, with

as little noise and

confusion as possible.

Everything should be done

decently and in order.

Domestic duties …

The kitchen and all other

parts of the building should

be kept sweet and clean.

Books should be laid aside

till their proper season, and

no more study should be

taken than can be

attended to without

neglecting the household

duties. AH 88 - 9

Domestic duties …

The study of books is

not to engross the mind

to the neglect of home

duties upon which the

comfort of the family

depends. AH 88-9

You may never be called to do a work which will bring you before

the public. But all the work we do that is necessary to be done,

be it washing dishes, setting tables, waiting upon the sick,

cooking, or washing, is of moral importance; and until you can

cheerfully and happily take up these duties you are not fitted for

greater and higher duties {LHU 268.2}

The humble tasks before us are to be taken up by someone; and

those who do them should feel that they are doing a necessary

and honorable work, and that in their mission, humble though it

may be, they are doing the work of God just as surely as was

Gabriel when sent to the prophets. {LHU 268.2}

All are working in their order in their respective spheres.

Woman in her home, doing the simple duties of life that

must be done, can and should exhibit faithfulness,

obedience, and love as sincere as angels in their sphere.

Conformity to the will of God makes any work honorable

that must be done. . . . {LHU 268.2}

She should be fully

competent to guide and

instruct her children and to

direct her servants, or, if need

be, to minister with her own

hands to the wants of her

household. It is her right to

understand the mechanism of

the human body and the

principles of hygiene, the

matters of diet and dress,

labor and recreation, and

countless others that

intimately concern the well-

being of her household.

It is her right to obtain such a knowledge of the

best methods of treating disease that she can

care for her children in sickness, instead of

leaving her precious treasures in the hands of

stranger nurses and physicians. AH 87 - 8

For their own sake, they should, while they

have opportunity, become intelligent in regard

to disease, its causes, prevention, and

cure.{CH 506.1}

Upon no account should the marriage relation be

entered upon until the parties have a knowledge of

the duties of a practical domestic life”

Adventist Home, page 87.

1.Here are things which should be

considered: Will the one you marry

bring happiness to your home?

2. Is [she] an economist, or will she,

if married, not only use all her own

earnings, but all of yours to gratify a

vanity, a love of appearance?

3.Are her principles correct in this

direction? Has she anything now to

depend upon? ...

I know that to the mind of a man

infatuated with love and thoughts

of marriage these questions will be

brushed away as though they were

of no consequence.

But these things should be duly

considered, for they have a

bearing upon your future life....

In your choice of a wife study her

character. Will she be one who will be

patient and painstaking?

Or will she cease to care for your mother

and father at the very time when they

need a strong son to lean upon?

And will she withdraw him from their

society to carry out her plans and to suit

her own pleasure, and leave the father

and mother who, instead of gaining an

affectionate daughter, will have lost a

son?

In your choice of a wife

study her character. Will

she be one who will be

patient and painstaking?

Or will she cease to care

for your mother and

father at the very time

when they need a strong

son to lean upon? AH 46

And will she withdraw him

from their society to carry

out her plans and to suit

her own pleasure, and

leave the father and

mother who, instead of

gaining an affectionate

daughter, will have lost a

son? AH 46

“The parties may not have worldly

wealth, but they should have the

far greater blessing of health. And

in most cases there should not be

a great disparity in age. A neglect

of this rule may result in seriously

impairing the health of the

younger. And often the children

are robbed of physical and mental

strength.” {AH 81.3}

Disparity in Age

Malachi 2: 16

For the Lord God of Israel says that He hates divorce…

7.Marriage

Keep Christ at the center of your home

“And the third day there

was a marriage in Cana of

Galilee; and the mother of

Jesus was there: And both

Jesus was called, and

his disciples, to the

marriage” John 2:1, 2.

“As the bridegroom

rejoices over the bride,

so shall thy God

rejoice over thee” Isaiah

62:5.

Keep Christ at the center of your home

“The presence of Christ alone

can make men and women

happy. All the common waters

of life Christ can turn into the

wine of heaven. The home

then becomes as an Eden of

bliss; the family, a beautiful

symbol of the family in

heaven”

Adventist Home, page 28.

Psalms 127:1 Except

the LORD build the

house, they labour in

vain that build it:

except the LORD

keep the city, the

watchman waketh but

in vain.

Pro 3:6 In all thy ways acknowledge him, and

he shall direct thy paths.

The fact that a disregard of the custom occasions remark is no good reason for

adopting it. Americans can make their position understood by plainly stating that the

custom is not regarded as obligatory in our country. We need not wear the sign, for

we are not untrue to our marriage vow, and the wearing of the ring would be no

evidence that we were true. I feel deeply over this leavening process which seems to

be going on among us, in the conformity to custom and fashion. Not one penny

should be spent for a circlet of gold to testify that we are married

The use of temples, and those dedicated to theparticular saints, and ornamented on occasionwith branches of trees, incense, lamps andcandles; votive offering on recovery from illness,holy water, asylums, holy days and seasons, useof calendars, processions, blessing on the fields,sacerdotal vestment, the tonsure, the ring inmarriage, turning to the east, images at a laterdate, perhaps the ecclesiastical chant and theKyrie Eleison are all of pagan origin, andsanctified by adoption into the church

{ Cardinal J.H. Newman: An Essay on the Developmentof Christian Doctrine, P 373}

Pages 60-61

A Christian father is the house-band of his family, binding them close to the throne

of God. Never is his interest in his children to flag. The father who has a family of

boys should not leave these restless boys wholly to the care of the mother. . . . He

should make himself their companion and friend. He should exert himself to keep

them from evil associates. . . . He should take more of the burden upon himself, doing

all in his power to lead his boys to God

The Lord has constituted the husband the head of the wife to be her protector; he is

the house-band of the family, binding the members together, even as Christ is the

head of the church and the Saviour of the mystical body. Let every husband who

claims to love God, carefully study the requirements of God in his position. Christ's

authority is exercised in wisdom, in all kindness and gentleness; so let the husband

exercise his power and imitate the great Head of the church. {13MR 83.1}

“The Lord Jesus has not been correctly represented in His relation to the church by

many husbands in their relation to their wives, for they do not keep the way of the

Lord. They declare that their wives must be subject to them in everything. But it was

not the design of God that the husband should have control, as head of the house,

when he himself does not submit to Christ. He must be under the rule of Christ that

he may represent the relation of Christ to the church. If he is a coarse, rough,

boisterous, egotistical, harsh, and overbearing man, let him never utter the word that

the husband is the head of the wife, and that she must submit to him in everything;

for he is not the Lord, he is not the husband in the true significance of the term”

E.G.W. (The Adventist Home, cp. 17, pg. 117)

“There have been marriage relations formed in Battle Creek with which

God has had nothing to do. ... Christ has warned us that this state of

things would exist prior to His second appearing. ... The minds of the

people were bewitched upon the subject of marriage. When there is so

much uncertainty, so great danger, there is no reason why we should

make great parade or display, even if the parties were perfectly suited to

each other; but that remains to be tested. “When those who profess to be

reformers, those in humble life, ape the customs and fashions of the

worldly wealthy, it is a reproach to our faith” Testimonies for the

Church, Volume 4, page 515.

“Puritan plainness and simplicity should

mark the dwellings and apparel of all who

believe the solemn truths for this time. All

means needlessly expended in dress or in the

adorning of our houses is a waste of our

Lord’s money” Testimonies for the Church, Volume 5, page 189

God views a dress reaching the knee as an extreme

short dress

My views were calculated to correct the present

fashion, the extreme long dress, trailing upon the

ground, and also to correct the EXTREME SHORT

DRESS, REACHING ABOUT TO THE KNEES,

which is worn by a certain class. I WAS SHOWN

that we should shun both extremes. By wearing the

dress reaching about to the top of a woman's gaiter

boot we shall escape the evils of the extreme long

dress, and shall also shun the evils and notoriety of

the extreme short dress. {1T 464.1}

"However carefully and

wisely marriage may have

been entered into, few

couples are completely

united when the marriage

ceremony is performed. The

real union of the two in

wedlock is the work of the

after years." --MH 359, 360

(1905).

As life with its burden of perplexity

and care meets the newly wedded

pair, the romance with which

imagination so often invests

marriage disappears. Husband and

wife learn each other's character as

it was impossible to learn it in their

previous association. This is a most

critical period in their experience.

The happiness and usefulness of

their whole future life depend upon

their taking a right course now. {MH

360.1}

Often they discern in each other

unsuspected weaknesses and

defects; but the hearts that love

has united will discern

excellencies also heretofore

unknown. Let all seek to discover

the excellencies rather than the

defects. Often it is our own

attitude, the atmosphere that

surrounds ourselves, which

determines what will be revealed

to us in another. {MH 360.1}

There are many who regard the

expression of love as a weakness,

and they maintain a reserve that

repels others. This spirit checks the

current of sympathy. As the social

and generous impulses are

repressed, they wither, and the heart

becomes desolate and cold. We

should beware of this error. Love

cannot long exist without

expression. Let not the heart of one

connected with you starve for the

want of kindness and sympathy.

{MH 360.1}

The Sweetest Type of Heaven.

--Home should be made all that

the word implies. It should be a

little heaven upon earth, a place where the affections are

cultivated instead of being

studiously repressed.

Our happiness depends upon

this cultivation of love, sympathy,

and true courtesy to one another.

{AH 15.3}

The sweetest type of heaven is

a home where the Spirit of the

Lord presides. If the will of God

is fulfilled, the husband and

wife will respect each other

and cultivate love and

confidence.

The first work to be done in a Christian home is to see

that the Spirit of Christ abides there, that every member

of the household may be able to take his cross and

follow where Jesus leads the way. {AH 20.1}

“In many families there is a great lack in

expressing affection one for another. While

there is no need of sentimentalism, there is

need of expressing love and tenderness in a

chaste, pure, dignified way. Many absolutely

cultivate hardness of heart and in word and

action reveal the satanic side of the

character” Adventist Home, page 198.

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all

thy strength” Mark 12:30.

“The best way to educate children to respect

their father and mother is to give them the

opportunity of seeing the father offering kindly

attentions to the mother and the mother

rendering respect and reverence to the father.

It is by beholding love in their parents that

children are led to obey the fifth commandment

and to heed the injunction; children obey your

parents in the Lord” Adventist Home page 196.

“Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all

thy strength” Mark 12:30.

“Tender

affection should

ever be

cherished

between

husband and

wife, parents

and children,

brothers and

sisters”

Adventist Home,

page 198.

Infant children are a mirror for

the mother, in which she may see

reflected her own habits and

deportment, and may trace even

the tones of her own voice. How

careful then should be her

language and behavior in the

presence of these little learners

who take her for an example. If

she wishes them to be gentle in

manners and tractable, she must

cultivate those traits in herself.

{Reflecting Christ 189.5}

Proverbs 17:6

Children's

children are the

crown of old

men; and the

glory of children

are their fathers.

Perfection in Character-building.—

The Lord requires perfection from

His redeemed family. He calls for

perfection in character-building.

Fathers and mothers especially

need to understand the best

methods of training children, that

they may cooperate with God.

(MS 34, 1899).

Men and women, children and

youth, are measured in the scales

of heaven in accordance with that

which they reveal in their home life.

A Christian in the home is a

Christian everywhere. Religion

brought into the home exerts an

influence that cannot be measured

(MS 34, 1899).

For if you have become estranged, and have failed to be Bible

Christians, be converted, for the character you bear in

probationary time will be the character you will have at the

coming of Christ. If you would be a saint in heaven, you must first

be a saint on earth. {13MR 81.3}

The traits of character you cherish in life will not be changed by

death or by the resurrection. You will come up from the grave with

the same disposition you manifested in your home and in society.

Jesus does not change the character at His coming. The work of

transformation must be done now. {13MR 82.1}

Our daily lives are determining our destiny. Defects of character

must be repented of and overcome through the grace of Christ,

and a symmetrical character must be formed while in this

probationary state, that we may be fitted for the mansions above.

{13MR 82.1}

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fullness of joy; at thy right

hand there are pleasures for evermore” Psalms 16:11.

The divine love emanating from Christ never destroys human love, but includes it.

By it human love is refined and purified, elevated and ennobled. Human love can

never bear its precious fruit until it is united with the divine nature and trained to

grow Heaven ward” Adventist Home, page 99.

Think of it, dear friends Human love can never

bear its precious fruit until it is united with the

divine nature and trained to grow heaven ward.

Jesus wants to see happy marriages, happy fire

sides. Adventist Home, page 99.

Each has his place in the

eternal plan of heaven. Each is

to work in co-operation with

Christ for the salvation of

souls. Not more surely is the

place prepared for us in the

heavenly mansions than is the

special place designated on

earth where we are to work for

God. Messages to Young

People, page 219.

Guard Your

Marriage/Relationship

Exodus 20:17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's

house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's wife, nor his

manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass,

nor any thing that is thy neighbour's.

Proverbs 4:23 Po 4:23 Keep thy heart with all diligence;

for out of it are the issues of life.

Guard Your

Marriage/Relationship

Guard jealously your hours for prayer, Bible study, and self-

examination.—

In the great conflict before us, he who would keep true to Christ

must penetrate deeper than the opinions and doctrines of men.

My message to ministers, young and old, is this: Guard

jealously your hours for prayer, Bible study, and self-

examination..--GW 100

Guard Your

Marriage/Relationship

Set aside a portion of each day fora study of the Scriptures and

communion with God. Thus you will obtain spiritual strength, and

will grow in favor with God. He alone can give you noble

aspirations; He alone can fashion the character after the

divine similitude. Draw near to Him in earnest prayer, and He

will fill your hearts with high and holy purposes, and with deep,

earnest longings for purity and clearness of thought.--GW 100

Balances your Lives1 Corinthians 9:25 And every man that

striveth for the mastery is temperate in all

things. Now they do it to obtain a

corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible.

Romans 6:12,13

Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal

body, that ye should obey it in the lusts

thereof. Neither yield ye your members as

instruments of unrighteousness unto sin:

but yield yourselves unto God, as those

that are alive from the dead, and your

members as instruments of righteousness

unto God.

Balance your Lives

Let the family worship be made pleasant

and interesting. --Testimonies, vol. 5, p.

335. Christian Service 209.5}

Satan makes every effort to lead people away from God; and he is

successful in his purpose when the religious life is drowned in business

cares, when he can so absorb their minds in business that they will not

take time to read their Bibles, to pray in secret, and to keep the offering of

praise and thanksgiving burning on the altar of sacrifice morning and

evening.--Testimonies, vol. 5, p. 426. {Christian Service 209.4}

Balances your Lives

Prayer and Bible Study Essential.--Satan well

knows that all whom he can lead to neglect

prayer and the searching of the Scriptures, will

be overcome by his attacks. Therefore he

invents every possible device to engross the

mind.--The Great Controversy, p. 519. (1888)

…This work will draw them nearer to God. It will

help them to see that of themselves they are

altogether inefficient, that they must be wholly the

Lord's. They must put away their self-esteem and

self-importance, and put on the Lord Jesus Christ.

When they do this, they will be willing to go

without the camp and bear the burden as good

soldiers of the cross…….

{Counsel to Parents, Teachers and students 508.2}

Love Like Jesus-1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Communicate Freely and Often

Proverbs 15:32 He that refuseth instruction

despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth

reproof getteth understanding.

Proverbs 26:12 Seest thou a man wise in

his own conceit? there is more hope of a

fool than of him

Communicate Freely and Often

There is a sacred circle around every

family which should be preserved. No

other one has any right in that sacred

circle. The husband and wife should be

all to each other. The wife should have

no secrets to keep from her husband

and let others know, and the husband

should have no secrets to keep from

his wife to relate to others.

{Adventist Home 177.1}

Communicate Freely and Often

The heart of his wife should be the

grave for the faults of the husband,

and the heart of the husband the

grave for his wife's faults. Never

should either party indulge in a

joke at the expense of the other's

feelings. Never should either the

husband or wife in sport or in any

other manner complain of each

other to others.

{Adventist Home 177.1}

Communicate Freely and Often

for frequently indulging in this

foolish and what may seem

perfectly harmless joking will

end in trial with each other and

perhaps estrangement. I have

been shown that there should

be a sacred shield around

every family.

{Adventist Home 177.1}

Conflicts and Disagreements- What would Jesus Do ?

Watch Your Words

Colossians 3:19 Husbands, love your wives, and be not

bitter against them.

Matthew 7:3

And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's

eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

Conflicts and Disagreements- What would Jesus Do ?

Watch Your Words

If He had responded by an impatient word or look, if He

had conceded to His brothers by even one wrong act, He

would have failed of being a perfect example.

The Desire of ages pages ,68-69,88

Conflicts and Disagreements- What would Jesus Do ?

Because the life of Jesus condemned evil, He was

opposed, both at home and abroad. His unselfishness and

integrity were commented on with a sneer. His forbearance

and kindness were termed cowardice.

The Desire of ages pages ,68-69,88

Conflicts and Disagreements- What would Jesus Do ?

As a child, Jesus manifested a peculiar loveliness of

disposition. His willing hands were ever ready to serve

others. He manifested a patience that nothing could

disturb, and a truthfulness that would never sacrifice

integrity. In principle firm as a rock, His life revealed the

grace of unselfish courtesy.

The Desire of ages pages ,68-69,88

1 Peter 2:22-24

Conflicts and Disagreements- What would Jesus Do ?

1 Peter 1:15-16

But as he which hath called you is holy, so be ye holy in all manner of conversation (Conduct); Because it is written, Be ye holy; for I am holy.

"I ought to have no expectation of dwelling where God dwells unless I have a character fully assimilated to His.

Unless I love with a full and undivided heart what He loves, and hate what He hates, and all that He hates with a hatred

full, entire, uniform, perpetual, like His own,

Conflicts and Disagreements- What would Jesus Do ?

there must not be in me an approach to any thought or

feeling which is not in perfect, full-hearted, and joyous

agreement with what God is and with everything that God

does." I thought that's a nice way of saying it. How can I

expect to spend eternity with God if half the time my

thoughts are entirely opposite of God's thoughts. If, when

someone crosses me, the first thing that comes into my mind

is retaliation – how would I have joy in the presence of God?

-Charles Fitch

There is but one power that can

break the hold of evil from the

hearts of men, and that is the power

of God in Jesus Christ. Only through

the blood of the Crucified One is

there cleansing from sin. His grace

alone can enable us to resist and

subdue the tendencies of our fallen

nature.

{8T 291.3}

Practice Abundant

Forgiveness

Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom

thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity,

which he hath given thee under the sun, all the

days of thy vanity: for that is thy portion in this

life, and in thy labour which thou takest under

the sun.

Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath:

but grievous words stir up anger.

Practice Abundant

Forgiveness

There is a science of Christianity to be

mastered,--a science as much deeper,

broader, higher than any human science as

the heavens are higher than the earth. The

mind is to be disciplined, educated, trained;

for we are to do service for God in ways that

are not in harmony with inborn inclination.

There are hereditary and cultivated

tendencies to evil that must be overcome.

{8T 314.1}

Often the training and education of a lifetime must be discarded,

that one may become a learner in the school of Christ. Our hearts

must be educated to become steadfast in God. We are to form

habits of thought that will enable us to resist temptation.

Practice Abundant

Forgiveness

We must learn to look upward.

The principles of the word of God-

-principles that are as high as

heaven, and that compass

eternity--we are to understand in

their bearing upon our daily life.

Every act, every word, every

thought, is to be in accord with

these principles. {8T 314.1}

Practice Abundant

Forgiveness

Keep the Honeymoon Alive

Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in

honour preferring one another;

Let some of the hours of courtship before marriage run

through the married life. {LYL 13.2}

To love as Christ loved means to manifest unselfishness at all times

and in all places, by kind words and pleasant looks. These cost those

who give them nothing, but they leave behind a fragrance that

surrounds the soul. Their effect can never be estimated. Not only are

they a blessing to the receiver, but to the giver; for they react upon him.

Genuine love is a precious attribute of heavenly origin, which increases

in fragrance in proportion as it is dispensed to others. LYL 16 - 17

Love Like Jesus

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Pray Together

Matthew 26:41; James 1:5

Work Hard to Please

Proverbs 31:10-31; 1 Timothy 5:8

THE ADVENTIST HOMEGod Honors a Well-ordered Family.

--Fathers and mothers whomake God first in theirhouseholds, who teach theirchildren that the fear of theLord is the beginning ofwisdom, glorify God beforeangels and before men bypresenting to the world awell-ordered, well-disciplinedfamily, a family that love andobey God instead of rebellingagainst Him. {AH 322.3}

THE ADVENTIST HOME

God Honors a Well-ordered Family.

Christ is not a stranger in theirhomes; His name is ahousehold name, revered andglorified. Angels delight in ahome where God reignssupreme, and the children aretaught to reverence religion,the Bible, and their Creator.Such families can claim thepromise: "Them that honourMe I will honour." {AH 322.3}

Cherish and Practice Respectfulness Romans 12:10

Rom 12:10 Be kindly

affectioned one to another with

brotherly love; in honour

preferring one another;

Cherish and Practice Respectfulness Romans 12:10

IN THE HOME

Let There Be No Jarring Note.--Allow nothing like

strife or dissension to come into the home. Speak

gently. Never raise your voice to harshness. Keep

yourselves calm. Put away faultfinding and all

untruthfulness. Tell the children that you want to

help them to prepare for a holy heaven, where all is

peace, where not one jarring note is heard. Be

patient with them in their trials, which may look

small to you but which are large to them.

{AH 436.2}

When fathers and mothers

are converted, there will be a

thorough conversion of their

principles of management.

Their thoughts will be

converted; their tongues will

be converted. . . . {AH 436.3}

Infant children are a mirror for

the mother, in which she may see

reflected her own habits and

deportment, and may trace even

the tones of her own voice. How

careful then should be her

language and behavior in the

presence of these little learners

who take her for an example. If

she wishes them to be gentle in

manners and tractable, she must

cultivate those traits in herself.

{Reflecting Christ 189.5}

Proverbs 17:6

Children's

children are the

crown of old

men; and the

glory of children

are their fathers.

There will be no loud, angry talking in the

home. The words will be of a character to

soothe and bless the hearer. . . . Take all

the ugly features out of the voice. We must

subdue a hasty temper and control our

words, and in this we shall gain great

victories. Unless we control our words and

temper, we are slaves to Satan. We are in

subjection to him. He leads us captive.

{AH 437.1}

All jangling and unpleasant, impatient,

fretful words are an offering presented to

his satanic majesty. And it is a costly

offering, more costly than any sacrifice we

can make for God; for it destroys the

peace and happiness of whole families,

destroys health, and is eventually the

cause of forfeiting an eternal life of

happiness. {AH 437.1}

For three hundred years Enoch had been

seeking purity of heart, that he might be in

harmony with heaven. For three centuries he

had walked with God. Day by day he had

longed for a closer union; nearer and nearer

had grown the communion, until God took him

to Himself. He had stood at the threshold of the

eternal world, only a step between him and the

land of the blest; and now the portals opened,

the walk with God, so long pursued on earth,

continued, and he passed through the gates of

the holy city, the first from among men to enter

there. {8T 331.1}

"Blessed are the pure in heart: for they shall see God." Matthew 5:8.

"By faith Enoch was translated that he

should not see death; . . . for before his

translation he had this testimony, that he

pleased God." Hebrews 11:5. {8T 331.2}

"To such communion God is calling us.

As was Enoch's must be their holiness of

character who shall be redeemed from

among men at the Lord's second coming. {8T 331.3}

Don’t Go to Bed Angry

Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your

wrath:

Eph 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one

another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.

Pro_16:32 He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his

spirit than he that taketh a city

Pro_15:1 A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

Don’t Go to Bed Angry

The Effect of Harsh, Scolding Words.

In a home where harsh, fretful, scolding words are spoken, a child cries

much; and upon its tender sensibilities are impressed the marks of

unhappiness and discord. Then, mothers, let your countenance be full of

sunshine. Smile, if you can, and the infant's mind and heart will reflect the

light of your countenance as the polished plate of an artist portrays the

human features. Be sure, mothers, to have an indwelling Christ so that on

your child's plastic mind may be impressed the divine likeness.

{AH 436.1}

Don’t Go to

Bed Angry

Col_3:21 Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.

Eph_4:31 Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil

speaking, be put away from you, with all malice:

Col_3:8 But now ye also put off all these; anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy

communication out of your mouth.

Be pure in speech.

Cultivate a soft and

persuasive, not a harsh

and dictatorial, tone of

voice. Give the children

lessons in voice culture.

Train their habits of

speech, until no coarse or

rough words will come

spontaneously from their

lips when any trial comes

to them. {AH 435.4}

His (Christ) example is for us. When we are brought in

conflict with the enemies of Christ, we should say nothing in

a spirit of retaliation or that would bear even the appearance

of a railing accusation. {MB 57.4}

He who stands as a mouthpiece for God should not utter

words which even the Majesty of heaven would not use

when contending with Satan. We are to leave with God

the work of judging and condemning. {MB 57.4}

No Help by Harshness--Preach the truth, but restrain the

words which show a harsh spirit; for such words cannot

help or enlighten anyone.--Ev 575, 576. {VSS 238.2}

Voice Culture Should Be Given in the Home.-- Instruction in vocal culture should be

given in the home circle. Parents should teach their children to speak so plainly that

those who are listening can understand every word that is said. They should teach

them to read the Bible in clear, distinct utterance, in a way that will honor God. And let

not those who kneel round the family altar put their faces in their hands and in their

chair when they address God. Let them lift up their heads and, with holy awe and

boldness, come to the throne of grace. {AH 435.3}

Missionary work is to be done in

the home. Here those who have

received Christ are to show what

grace has done for them. A divine

influence controls the true believer

in Christ, and this influence makes

itself felt throughout the home and

is favorable for the perfection of

the characters of all in the home. .

. . {AG 226.2}

Shall the Words Cause Sunshine

or Shadow?--It is important that

children and youth should be

trained to guard their words and

deeds; for their course of action

causes sunshine or shadow, not

only in their own home, but also

with all with whom they come in

contact. {AH 437.2}

Unhappiness is often caused by

an unwise use of the talent of

speech. The word of God does not

authorize anyone to speak

harshly, thereby creating

disagreeable feelings and

unhappiness in the family. The

other members of the family lose

their respect for the one who

speaks thus, when if he would

restrain his feelings, he might win

the confidence and affection of all.

{AH 437.3} }

Pleasant Words to Children;

Respectful Words to Parents.--Let

only pleasant words be spoken by

parents to their children, and

respectful words by children to

their parents. Attention must be

given to these things in the home

life; for if, in their character

building, children form right habits,

it will be much easier for them to

be taught by God and to be

obedient to His requirements.

{AH 437.4}

Marriage Not Designed to Cover Sensuality and Base

Practices.--God never designed that marriage

should cover the multitude of sins that are practiced.

Sensuality and base practices in a marriage relation are educating the mind and

moral taste for demoralizing practices outside the marriage relation.—

RH, May 24, 1887. {1MCP 223.4}

Sexual Excesses Endangering Health and Life.--It is not

pure, holy love which leads the wife to gratify the animal

propensities of her husband at the expense of health and

life....{1MCP 223.5}

Sexual excess will effectually destroy a love for devotional

exercises, will take from the brain the substance needed to

nourish the system, and will most effectively exhaust the

vitality.--2T 477 (1870). {1MCP 224.2}

Perversion of a Sacred Institution.--Because they have

entered into the marriage relation, many think that they

may permit themselves to be controlled by animal

passions. They are led on by Satan, who deceives them

and leads them to pervert this sacred institution. He is

well pleased with the low level which their minds take; for

he has much to gain in this direction. {1MCP 224.3}

It may be necessary to humbly and affectionately

urge, even at the risk of his displeasure, that she cannot

debase her body by yielding to sexual excess. She

should, in a tender, kind manner, remind him that God

has the first and highest claim upon her entire being and

that she cannot disregard this claim, for she will be held

accountable in the great day of God.--2T 475 (1870).

{1MCP 224.1}

He knows that if he can excite the baser passions and

keep them in the ascendancy, he has nothing to be

troubled about in their Christian experience; for the moral

and intellectual faculties will be subordinate, while the

animal propensities will predominate and keep in the

ascendancy; and these baser passions will be

strengthened by exercise, while the nobler qualities will

become weaker and weaker.--2T 480 (1870). {1MCP

224.4}

The Abuse in Marriage of Sexual Privileges.--The animal

passions, cherished and indulged, become very strong in

this age, and untold evils in the marriage life are the sure

results. In the place of the mind being developed and

having the controlling power, the animal propensities rule

over the higher and nobler powers until they are brought

into subjection to the animal propensities. What is the

result? Women's delicate organs are worn out and

become diseased; childbearing is no more safe; sexual

privileges are abused. 225 {1MCP 224.5}

Men are corrupting their own bodies, and the wife has

become a bed servant to their inordinate, base lusts until

there is no fear of God before their eyes. To indulge

impulse that degrades both body and soul is the order of

the marriage life.--MS 14, 1888. {1MCP 225.1}

Prenatal Influences.--Satan seeks to debase the minds

of those who unite in marriage that he may stamp his

own hateful image upon their children. . . . {1MCP

225.2}

He can mold their posterity much more readily than he

could the parents, for he can so control the minds of the

parents that through them he may give his own stamp of

character to their children. Thus many children are born

with the animal passions largely in the ascendancy, while

the moral faculties are but feebly developed. These

children need the most careful culture to bring out,

strengthen, and develop the moral and intellectual

powers, that these may take the lead.--2T 480 (1870).

{1MCP 225.3}

The Degrading Process.--The mind of a man or woman

does not come down in a moment from purity and

holiness to depravity, corruption, and crime. It takes time

to transform the human to the divine or to degrade those

formed in the image of God to the brutal or the satanic.

{1MCP 225.4}

By beholding we become changed. Though formed in

the image of his Maker, man can so educate his mind

that sin which he once loathed will become pleasant to

him. As he ceases to watch and pray, he ceases to guard

the citadel, the heart, and engages in sin and crime. The

mind is debased, and it is impossible to elevate it from

corruption while it is being educated to enslave the moral

and intellectual powers and bring them in subjection to

grosser passions. {1MCP 225.5}

Constant war against the carnal mind must be

maintained; and we must be aided by the refining

influence of the grace of God, which will attract the mind

upward and habituate it to meditate upon pure and holy

things.--2T 478, 479 (1870).

"Many women pine for words of

love and kindness and the common

attentions and courtesies due them

from their husbands who have

selected them as their life

companions. How much trouble

and what a tide of woe and

unhappiness would be saved if

men, and women also, would

continue to cultivate the regard,

attention, and kind words of

appreciation and little courtesies of

life which kept love alive and which

they felt were necessary in gaining

the companions of their choice.

If the husband and wife would only

continue to cultivate these

attentions which nourish love, they

would be happy in each other's

society and would have a

sanctifying influence upon their

families. They would have in

themselves a little world of

happiness and would not desire to

go outside this world for new

attractions and new objects of love.

MANY A WIFE HAS SICKENED AND

DIED PREMATURELY for the want of

encouraging words of sympathy and

love manifested in kindly attentions

and in words."--Lt 27, 1872.

Father, We Commit to You

God before us, God beside

God within us abide

God in Heaven, and in this place

Father, we commit to You this day

God in pleasure, and God in pain

God will ever remain

God in gladness, and God in

strife

Father, we commit to You our

lives

For we know that You are faithful

through the stillness and the storm

For You've been with us from the start

Father, we commit to You our hearts

God in pleasure, and God in pain

God will ever remain

God in gladness, and God in strife

Father, we commit to You our lives

For we know that You are faithful

through the stillness and the storm

For You've been with us from the start

Father, we commit to You our hearts

Father, we commit to You our hearts