my love romantic comedy is wrong as i expected

7/28/2019 My Love romantic Comedy is wrong as I expected

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/my-love-romantic-comedy-is-wrong-as-i-expected 1/22

My youth romantic comedy is wrong as I expected v1 Chapter 1Jump to: navigation, search[edit] Chapter 1: Basically, Hachiman Hikigaya is rotten

A vein pulsated alongside her brow as Shizuka Hiratsuka, our Japanese Language teacher, read my essay out loud to me. Listening thus, I began to have some apprehensions regarding my own writing prowess, as it was still lacking considerably.Even with the use of meticulously chosen vocabulary, it wasnt what you could call scholarly. See past that and it sounded more like the witty thoughts of some obscure, penniless author. This boorish use of prose was, apparently, the reasonwhy I was called to the faculty room.

But of course thats not the reason why. I already know.

After she finished reading, she placed her hand to her forehead and let out a deep sigh.

Tell me, Hikigaya. Do you recall what I said the topic for this essay was?

Yes, the topic was Looking back on high school life.

Indeed, it was. So then why does this look like youre writing a death threat? Whatare you, a terrorist? Or perhaps an idiot?

Ms. Hiratsuka let out another sigh and scratched her head in frustration.

Now that I think about it, using the word Lady in Lady Teacher adds to the sex appeal, more so than Female Teacher.

As I grinned upon these musings, a roll of paper came down on my head.

Pay attention!

Yes maam.

Your eyes are glazed over, like that of a rotting fish.

"Do they really seem that rich in omega-3? I must be a genius"

Taken aback, her mouth dangled agape on both ends.

Hikigaya, whats with this condescending paper? Im giving you one chance to explainyourself.

Her tone of voice came admixed with a scowl as she glared at me from an angle. As expected, coming from a tactless beauty such as herself, the entirety of her stare was bizarre enough to overwhelm me. Mighty fearsome.

Well, you see I did share experiences about high school life, right? Its pretty muc

h the same it is these days, high school students have the same they feel, they

My tongue was in a tie. Im getting nervous over just a conversation with a person and an older woman, no less.

Normally, Id expect you to reflect on your own personal experiences.

In that case, you should have said so in preface to the topic. Did that, and I would have followed. Now that would be your mistake, right teacher?



Dont get smart with me, kid.

Kid? Well, its true that our difference in age does, in fact, make me a kid.

A gush of wind.

It was a fist. A fist unleashed without even the slightest movement. And on topof that, it just miraculously grazed the side of my cheek.

The next one wont miss.

Her eyes were serious.

Im very sorry. I will rewrite it.

Despite having apologized and reflected on my actions, I needed to choose my words wisely. Given the situation, however, Ms. Hiratsuka was hardly satisfied. Crap. Should I quickly get down on my knees and plead? But that would wrinkle my pants, and Id have to straighten them up again; bend over, then stand up. If I bendmy right knee instead, I could still get close to the ground. An elegant and unfaltering curtsey.

You know, Its not that Im angry.

God. I want to get out. I want to get out of here.

This charade is so passé. Its practically the same as you saying I wont get mad at you, so please talk to me, but in the end, I have yet to see someone who doesnt.

Surprisingly, though, she really wasnt angry. At least not at that comment regarding age difference. All this I inferred from her as I raised my right knee fromoff the floor.

Ms. Hiratsuka pulled a Seven Stars from her breast pocket that was seemingly onthe verge of exploding. She proceeded to tap its filter on her desk actions befitting of a middle-aged woman. After packing in the tobacco, she lit up with oneof those 100-Yen lighters. She breathed in a drag followed by a puff of smoke. S

he stared at me; her was gaze dead serious.

You havent joined any clubs, have you?

I havent.

Do you have friends, or anything like that?

She asked me under the assumption that I dont have any.

I I believe in upholding equality, above all else. As such, I do not believe in close, interpersonal relationships with any one in particular!

In short, you dont have any friends?

You dont have to put it so bluntly

As I replied, her face began to take on an overflowing sense of eagerness.

So you dont! I knew it! Looks like I was right on the dot. I knew it the moment Isaw that glazed look in your eyes!

If you could tell by just looking, then dont bother asking me about not having an



y friends in the first place.

Nodding with self-approval for having figured me out, she looked me in the facewith a reserved expression.

What about a girlfriend, or other? Do you have one?

Or other? Whats that supposed to mean? If I told you I had a boyfriend, what would you do then?

For now, I dont.

And by accenting that now, that would include all hopes for it in the near future.

Is that so

This time, her gaze took on a distant, misty-eyed look. Id like to believe its dueto the cigarette smoke. Knock it off, already. Stop looking at me with that lukewarm, tender kind of gaze.

Besides, whats going on here? Is she really that devoted to her pupils? Is this the part where she talks about rotten apples spoiling the barrel? Or like drop-out teacher returning to school?[1] Seriously, can I go home?

All right, lets do it this way: rewrite your report.

Okay.

Oh, and I will.

Ive got it. This time, it will be undoubtedly appropriate; I shall write a flawless composition with no snags, whatsoever. It will be on par with that of the blogs of gravure idols and voice actresses:

Tonights dinner is OMG! Curry!

Like that. And why is it that one OMG isnt quite convincing enough?

That was the extent of my suppositions. My musings were interrupted by what followed after that.

However, your inconsiderate speech and attitude certainly hurt my feelings. Haventyou ever learned not to talk about a womans age like that? Because of that, Im ordering you to participate in the Service Clubs activities. After all, sins need to be punished, right?

For someone who was emotionally hurt, she didnt seem like it given the authorityin her speech. In fact, she was more cheerful than her usual self, speaking in atitillating manner.

Now thats a thought. Come to think of it, the word titillating brings to mind theidea of tits, doesnt it? Back to reality, however, I find my eyes looking the other way after having faced the general direction of her blouse-exploding breasts.

Inexcusable But still, what kind of person talks about delivering punishment withsuch delight?

The Service Clubs activities? So what am I supposed to do?



Timidly inquire. For all I know, it could be as harmless as ditch cleaning to, God forbid, kidnapping. Things that, when said, give you sleepless nights. That sort of thing.

Come with me.

With that, she extinguished her cigarette in the densely filled ashtray and gotup to stand. There I was stuck with neither explanation nor introduction to thissudden proposal before me while Ms. Hiratsuka was already by the door when sheturned back to look at me.

Cmon, move it!

With the creaking of the door and my brows in a knit, I chased behind her.

The school building here at Sobu Municipal High School in Chiba has a somewhat lopsided shape. Viewed from above, it would roughly approximate the shape of theChinese character for mouth shaped like a square but perhaps more so like the Japanese character for the syllable ro a square with sides slightly at an angle. Attached to the base of this square like a pair of legs is the Audio Visual building, which completes the birds-eye view of our school. The building housing the classrooms faces towards the main road, whilst the annex lies opposite to this. A

bridge way connects the two buildings via the second floor, thus forming its square-like shape.

The school buildings enclose, in all four directions, an open ground that servesas the holy land for the Riaju people blessed with perfect, youthful lives the cntral garden. Here, they intermingle with one another boys and girls during thelunch break. They have lunch, then play badminton afterwards to help digest. After classes, lovers trade sweet nothings alongside the dimming sunset at the backof the campus, bathed in the salty ocean breeze and the stars above.

What the fuck.

The moment I see them, its like Im looking at a cast of characters trying hard to

act out their parts for some youth drama show. The thought of it sends a chill over me. Playing along, I would be probably take the role of TREE, or something like that.

Ms. Hiratsuka made her way down the linoleum floor without a single word spoken,apparently heading towards the annex building.

I have a bad feeling about this.

In the first place, these Service Club activities arent as clear-cut as they seem.

The way I see it, Service in this sense doesnt refer to your regular, daily activ

ities of going out and doing some good; rather, the kind of service only rendered in very exceptional circumstances. Take the service of a maid to her master, for example. In this case, service could mean saying welcome, or even LETSA PARTY![2But in reality, things like this dont happen. No, wait. For a fixed price, it actually is possible. Still, if its true that you can get them to do it by simply paying the fee, then doesnt that make desires even dreams up for grabs? In any case, the word Service just doesnt sit well with me.

Then theres the fact were going to the annex. Definitely there are chores to be had, like transferring the piano in the music room, disposing the biodegradable tr



ash from the biology lab, or sorting out the librarys catalogue collection, to name a few. I braced myself for what was to come.

I have this chronic disease in my lower back, you know? What was it He Her Herpes? eah, thats it

If you meant to say hernia, then theres no need to worry about that. What Im entrusting you with doesnt involve any manual labor.

She looked back at me with a mocking expression, as if to say she was looking atan idiot.

Humph. Well that said, that makes it either lost and found or clerical work. Ifthat entails a simple job, then that makes excessive physical labor highly unlikely.

I have this disease where I die upon entering a classroom.

Sounds like the long-nosed sniper. What are you, a straw hat pirate? [3]

So you read boys comics, now?

Whatever. So long as its work I can do alone and uninterrupted, then I couldnt care less. I am a machine. Turn off all human motivation, break it down and there s

hould be no problems. I could go so far as becoming a screw with conviction, should the case be.

Were here.

She stood before a classroom with nothing particularly unusual about it.

There wasnt even anything written on the plate above the doorway.

Staring at it, I was having strange thoughts until Ms. Hiratsuka suddenly openedthe door.

The tables and chairs were casually stacked along the edge of the room. Perhaps

it was being used for storage. Any furnishings unique to a given classroom wereabsent in this one. It was just a regular, plain classroom.

Having said that, inside the room was perhaps the most excessive sense of singularity coming from but a single girl.

Enveloped by the setting sun and reading a book was the girl.

The spectacle of her was like looking at a painting, which conjured up images ofher, undoubtedly, still reading as she is now even in the wake of the end of the world.

As I looked at her, both my body and soul ground to a halt.

Unconsciously, I was entranced.

Realizing there was a visitor, she inserted a bookmark into the paperback and raised her head towards us.

Ms. Hiratsuka. I believe I asked you to knock before entering.

Attractive features. Long, flowing black hair. Even though she wore the same uniform as the rabbles of women in our school, she was in a league of her own.



You dont bother to respond even if I do knock.

In response to Ms. Hiratsuka, she gave off an utterly unsatisfied glare.

So, who is that bozo with you?

Her cold eyes froze me in my tracks.

I know who she is.

Yukino Yukinoshita of Class 2-J.

Of course, I only know her in face and name. Never have we conversed with one another. Could you blame me? Engaging in conversation with people in school is, initself, a rare occurrence for me. Sobu High has nine standard education classes, as well as one class with international standards for education section J. Theclass average of the latter is by far two to three standard deviations above that of the regular classes, and is filled with returning students from overseas or those with aspirations of studying abroad.

Amidst this assemblage with her gaudy and remarkably conspicuous presence be itby nature or by observation is Yukino Yukinoshita.

In both the end of term and proficiency examinations, her superior grades have consistently enshrined her at the top 1 rank of our year level. As if that werentenough, theres her unparalleled looks to which she is always bathed in attention.In short, you could say that she is the schools number one beauty popular and known by all.

Which is why she doesnt know who I am, and that doesnt bother me in the least. Still, saying I look like a bozo hurt just a tad. Im pretty sure that was the name of some candy a long time back, but I havent seen it around as of late.[4] Escapist train of thought or not, it still doesnt change the fact that what she said hurt.

This is Hikigaya. Hell be applying to the club.

Pressured by her words, I prompted a bow in recognition. I believe this is the part where I throw in a self-introduction.

Im Hachiman Hikigaya of 2-F. Err Yo! Im joining the club.

What ever happened to the part about applying? Just what is this club, anyway?

Looking to surmise what I would say next, Ms. Hiratsuka began to speak.

Hes been ordered to join in the club activities as a penalty. I wont listen to anyobjections, rebuttals, protests, or retorts. Take the time to cool off your headand reflect on your actions.

Her decision came with a resolute force of finality, leaving no room for whatever objections I may have had.

Anyway, by his looks alone I think you can tell that hes rotten to the core. As aresult, hes always on his own. Isnt he a pity?

So you really can tell just by looking.

I think that by mingling with people, he may learn to square out his attitude a l



ittle. Im leaving him here with you. All I ask is you rehabilitate that rebellious, loner of an attitude he has.

Yukinoshita turned to face Ms. Hiratsuka after she said this. Visibly irritated,she replied, If thats the issue, then I think its okay for you to beat and kick the discipline into him.

What a scary woman.

I would if I could, actually, but lately there have been particulars to deal with. After all, the flesh can only take so much violence.

But as far as the mind goes, you can go all out is what youre saying.

I refuse. I sense an ulterior motive beneath those corrupted eyes of his. Like Imin danger.

Not that she was by any means disheveled at the moment, she motioned to readjusther collar and shot a glare at me. In the first place, its not like anyones looking at that unremarkable chest of yours No, really? Im not kidding. Seriously, nobodys looking. If it ever fell within visible range, it would only be noted for a split second.

Relax, Yukinoshita. Its precisely because of his corrupted eyes and personality th

at he is able to calculate risks and benefits geared towards his own self-preservation. He wont go so far as doing something that will have him answering to thepolice. In that sense, you can trust this petty villain.

A good word in, huh? I managed. But instead of talking about risk-benefits and selfpreservation, I wish you could just say I use plain common sense in making decisions.

A petty villain I see Yukinoshita said.

You agreed to what she said without listening to me

Did Ms. Hiratsukas persuasion win her off, or was she successful in establishing

me as a trustworthy, petty villain? Whichever it was, I was to be the completelyundesirable figure in Yukinoshitas conclusions.

Well, if that is what the teacher asks of me, then there is nothing I can do about it I shall comply.

Her response had with it a heavy sense of reluctance, but Ms. Hiratsuka let offa smile of satisfaction.

Good. Then I leave the rest to you.

That said, she left it at that and was soon gone. There I was, left standing alone.

Honestly, leaving me alone and letting things be would have made it much easier.Keeping the status quo in my lonesome environment would have left me at ease.

The sound of the second hand moving in the wall clock went by awfully slow, making it all the more audible. Come on, youve got to be kidding me. Whats with this sudden romantic comedy-like development? Things are getting ridiculously tense inhere. I have no complaints regarding the situation. Unexpectedly, a bittersweetmemory from junior high school came back to me.



Classes were over; there are two students alone in a classroom.

The curtains gently swayed in the light breeze and the fleeting light of the setting sun poured into the room. Then, a bold confession by the young boy. After all this time, I could still make out her voice with palpable consistency.

Can we just be friends?

Man, what a bad memory. Afterwards, we were anything but friends, and not a wordwas spoken to one another ever since. Thanks to that, I ended up not wanting tohave any friends, conversations, or even relationships, for that matter. You can pretty much say that a romantic comedy setting of me with a beautiful girl alone together in a locked room is never going to happen in real life.

Trained in this manner, I have avoided falling into such a trap even to this day. Girls show their interest in hunks or the Riaju and the like, adding on to thehordes of impure men and women intermingling with one another in their fellowship.

In short, my sworn enemies.

Never again will I have feelings such as those, and with much effort I was ableto move on since then. In order to avoid getting involved in these romantic comedy-like situations, I have made it my upmost priority to be hated. Sticks and st

ones may break my bones, but for the sake of my own pride, I no longer need anyfeelings of good will and the like!

That said, I ought to intimidate Yukinoshita with an appropriate scowl. Die fromthe eyes of a wild beast!

Grrrr!

Whereupon she glanced at me as one does looking at garbage. With large pupils under half-closed eyes that were close to squinting, she let out a long, cold sigh. Then, in a voice likened to the gentle murmur of a clear stream, she addressedme, Would you mind not standing there making that disturbing growl and take a seat?

Eh? Oh, right. Sorry.

Whoa. What was with those eyes, just now? The eyes of a wild beast?

Those could kill a good five people. Or something like what happened to Tomoko Matsushima, who got a nibble in.[5] Unintentionally and unconsciously did I justend up apologizing to her?

After going through all that, she would have been hostile towards me even without the intimidation. With the deepest recesses of myself shaken up, I pulled myself a seat in an empty chair. Having done that though, she showed the least bit of interest in me, such that the next thing I knew, the paperback was open once a

gain. The sound of flipping pages ensued. I couldnt tell what it was she was reading because of the cover on the book, but it was probably a literary work of sorts. Maybe a Salinger, or Hemingway, or even Tolstoy, perhaps. The kind with imagery and the like.

Yukinoshita has about her the air of a distinguished lady; and indeed she has the honors, the success, and to a certain extent, the beauty that is by no means an exaggeration. However, to the ordinary human race, she has broken away from their circle. They become just like her namesake: Yuki no shita no yuki the snow beneath the snow. For those beings, no matter how beautiful they strive to become



, neither experience nor possession will ever grant it to them. Only in dreams can they ever attain such beauty.

To be honest, even I have no idea how I ended up being able to sit this close toher. If I had any friends, I could boast about this to them; Id ask them what Ishould do here with Ms. Beautiful.

What is it? she asked me.

Probably because I was staring at her a bit too intently, Yukinoshitas brows drewinto a displeased cross as she shot a glare right back at me.

Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about what to do.

Regarding?

Its just that I was brought here without any explanations, whatsoever, so I haventa clue on whats going on.

After having said that, and a few clicks of the tongue, Yukinoshita shut the paperback with a definitive snap; her displeasure was open for the world to see. Then, after polishing me down with her razor sharp glare, she resigned with a short sigh and began to speak.

Youre right Very well, lets play a game.

A game?

Thats right. A game where you guess what kind of club this is. So, what kind of club is this?

A game in a closed room with a beautiful girl

And I get the feeling that its not about to segue into the erotic scene. Insteadof light-hearted play, the mood being projected by Yukinoshita is more like thatof blades on a whetstone. Its not like youre going to take my life if I lose, right? Just where did that romantic comedy-like atmosphere run off to? This is more

like that gambling comic, Kaiji.

As the prospect of losing brought a cold sweat upon me, I scanned the room looking for something to pull me out of this.

Are there any other members in the club?

There are none.

If thats the case, then how is this club able to persist? Good question.

Thats all she wrote, folks. No hints.

No, wait. Conversely, you can say there have been nothing but hints.

Not to boast or anything, but back when I was little and didnt have any friends,I was ridiculously talented at making up games one can play on their own. I hadquite the self confidence when it came to things like game books or riddles andthe like. I believe I also won a high school quiz bee, before. So here goes: because it isnt possible to round up the other members of the club, they cant make their appearance. What I can gather up to this point is that there are others. Based on that, and putting everything together, the most natural answer I can comeup with should be



A literary club?

Oh? And the reason being?

Yukinoshitas question came with a hint of a deepening sense of interest.

The unique surroundings; the lack of any need for specialized equipment; and thefact that any club lacking in members would be abolished. In short, it involvesclub activities that do not require any expenses. Moreover, you were reading a book. You were showing me the answer from the very beginning.

Flawless reasoning, if I do say so myself. Whilst you figure out how I did it, Ican tell you I didnt even need the help of a little elementary school student inglasses giving me hints.[6] It was a piece of cake. Awaiting to see the admiration of the great lady Yukino, I was met with a snort and a short sigh.

Incorrect.

She followed it off with a big laugh, giving me the feeling that she was mockingme. Hey, now thats kinda getting on my nerves. Arent you the irreproachable, Perfect Superman? Youre more like a Demon Superman.[7]

What kind of club is it, then?

My voice was already mixed with some irritation. But Yukinoshita took no mind ofit, informing me that the game would go on.

Fine, Ill give you a big hint. The club activities involve me being here, like this.

The hint finally shows itself. Still, that didnt answer a single thing that wouldtie all of the ends together. At this rate, Ill wind up deriving the same conclusion as I did, earlier.

Hold it. Just wait a minute and calm down a second. Be cool. Become cool, Hachiman Hikigaya. She says there are no other club members aside from herself. Despit

e that, the club continues to persist. In short, that would mean there are ghostmembers, right? The punch line there would be that these ghost members are, infact, real ghosts. So it turns out the romantic comedy-like development here isbetween me and a beautiful girl with a third eye.

An Occult Research Society!

I was asking for what club.

Er, an Occult Research Club!

Incorrect She let out a sigh. Thats so stupid. There are no such things as ghosts.

Th there really are no such things as ghosts! It its not like I said that because Iwas scared! She could go all cutesy like that and it wouldnt even mess up her character, but then she looked at me with eyes that scorned upon the deepest depths of my self. These were the kind of eyes that told idiots to go die.

I give up. I have absolutely no idea.

As if I could ever figure it out. Cant you make it a bit simpler? Something like,My house was set on fire and I cried a river of tears why is that? Obviously, its because your damn house burned down. Plus, this isnt a guessing game; this is m



ore like a riddle.

Hikigaya. How many years has it been since you last talked to a girl?

As sudden as it was irrelevant, her question seemingly struck a nerve in me. Seriously, what a sass.

Im pretty confident in my own memory. I can even recall trivial small talk that others would most likely forget, such that I could easily pass for a stalker amongst the girls in our class. And according to my brilliant hippocampus, the verylast time I ever spoke to a girl was two years ago in June.

Girl: Its, like, really hot in here, dont you think?

Me: Like, steaming hot, right?

Girl: Huh? Uh, sure. If you say so

Fin.

Something like that. Only she wasnt talking to me; rather, the girl seated diagonally behind me. Human beings tend to recall the unpleasant things. Up until now,

I get the urge to bury myself under my futon and scream my head off whenever that memory comes back to me in the dead of night.

As I was reliving my disturbing past, Yukinoshita declared in a loud voice, One who has much offers it in charity to those who have none. Such people are calledvolunteers. Providing developmental assistance for developing nations; preparingfood for the homeless; a girl speaking to an unpopular guy; a helping hand reaching out to someone in need. Those are the activities of this club.

Before I knew it, Yukinoshita got up to stand and, just as naturally, her eyes began to look down at me.

Welcome to the Service Club. Rejoice.

Nothing makes me happier than being told straight out what I dont want to hear. Imstarting to tear up a bit. With the ultimate humiliation at hand, the finishingblow was dealt.

Coming from Ms. Hiratsukas story, it can be said that it is the duty of the giftedto save the pitiable. More than just a favor, it is my responsibility to see this to the end. I shall remedy this problem of yours. Be grateful.

I had an urge to call her out as a noblesse oblige. In plainer terms, that wouldprobably be the duty of the noble, or something like that. The figure of Yukinoshita with arms folded was undoubtedly that of nobility. Truth be told, given her looks and grades, calling her appearances noble wouldn't be an exaggeration in

the least.

What a bitch

But alas, I had ought hold mine tongue. Is not mine role where thou dost pitiethme, and I am running out of words to express myself with.

You know And this may just be coming from me, but I pretty much excel, myself! I ranked third highest in the Japanese language proficiency test in the humanitiescourse for the year! Not bad for someone with my looks, right? Except for my lac



k of friends or a girlfriend, my specs are way up there!

Though I heard something terribly wrong at the end of that In a sense, its amazingthat you can actually say that with such confidence. Youre weird. Disgusting, even.

Shut up. I dont want to hear that from a weird girl like you.

And really, what a weird girl. At the very least, from what Ive heard or rather,what Ive overheard from other people talking Yukino Yukinoshita differed from what I pictured her to be like. Indeed, she figures in as a calm and collected beauty. But now a cold smile surfaces. The type of sadistic smile that comes after depressing words.

Hmm? From where I stand, it appears that the cause of your rotten and rebelliousdisposition is due to you being all alone.

Her fervent speech took upon itself the force of a clenched fist.

First off, I will create a place for that listlessness of yours. Did you know? Have a place to belong to and you can become like a star that shall never face thecruel fate of burning out.

The Nighthawks Star, huh?[8] Thats pretty hardcore.

Unless they were a prodigy who ranked third in the Japanese language and humanities classes like me, chances are they wouldnt have gotten the reference to that story. Moreover, I remember it because it was a favorite. It was such a sad storythat it really made me cry a lot. Anyone else might find it unenjoyable.

Hearing my rebuttal, Yukinoshitas eyes widened in surprise.

That was unexpected I never would have thought that a below average high school boy would have read the works of Kenji Miyazawa.

So now youre treating me inferiorly, is that it?

Forgive me, I exaggerate. Perhaps less than average would be more accurate?

To hell with exaggerate! Didnt I just tell you that I ranked third in our year?

Obsessing yourself over your ranking third at one point in time is pathetic. Whatsmore, using your test scores in just one subject as a basis for the soundness of your own intellect is nothing short of stupidity.

There are limits to how rude one can be, you know. Treating a guy youve met for the first time like hes some inferior thing its as if I need to be on the level ofthe Prince of Saiyans before you actually acknowledge me.

But you know, The Nighthawks star suits you perfectly for one thing, theres the Ni

hthawks looks.

So basically, youre saying that my looks are deformed

Im not saying anything like that. Im just saying that the truth may hurt at times

Thats practically saying the same thing!

At this juncture, Yukinoshita took on a grave expression, to which my shoulderssnapped to attention.



Dont turn your eyes away from the truth. If you want to see reality, take a look in the mirror.

No, no, youve got it all wrong. Not to boast or anything, but my looks are prettygood in itself. I was once told by my little sister: if only you didn't speak when she could have just told me that good looks was the only thing I had going forme.

And I would have expected no less from my little sister. She has a good eye. A truly good eye that is, comparatively speaking, absent amongst the girls of thishigh school.

Yukinoshita brought a hand to her temple as if she were having a headache.

Are you an idiot? Appreciation for beauty is not meant to be a matter of personalopinion. If that were the case, between the two of us who are the only people in this very room, does that mean that what I say and only what I say is correct?

Despite the absurd logic behind that, why does it feel like that makes a little sense

To begin with, the trouble lies in the fact that your rotten, fish-like eyes, which are just as rotten as you are, are a given; and the impression it leaves is o

ne of disgust. Your facial features and where everythings attached and whatnot have got nothing to do with it. Your facial expression is ugly. And that is proofas to how considerably distorted your nature is.

So says Yukinoshita, what with her agreeable looks and probably more of where that came from inside of her. But the expression attached to that was criminal, through and through. Between the two of us, who looks innocent now?

Plus, do my eyes really look that much like a fishs? If I were a girl, the silverlining there would be: Really? Then would that make me the Little Mermaid?

Caught up in my escapisms, Yukinoshita flipped her hair from her shoulder and said, as if in triumph, Simply put, deriving self-confidence from the superficial,

such as your grades and your looks, isnt flattering at all. Plus, theres those rotten eyes you have.

Enough with the eyes, already!

Youre right. All this time its been pointed out, but theres nothing we can do to chnge it.

Start by apologizing to my parents.

In my frustration, I knew that my face was cramping up. Accordingly, Yukinoshitasown face turned despondent, as if she were reflecting on what she had just said.

Youre right, I may have ended up saying something awful. It must be hard on your parents.

God, enough! Its my fault, okay? No, its my faces fault!

With my eyes pretty much watering over, I would have willingly paid her to digest that foul tongue of hers. Ive come to realize that anything I say would be rendered useless. As I surrendered myself to the image of me sitting in a lotus position at the foot of a lime tree in the pursuit of Nirvana, Yukinoshitas dialogue



ensued.

Well then, that ends our simulation on conversing with people. If you were able to keep up a conversation with a girl like me, then you should be able to do so with just about anybody.

Combing her hair with her right hand, Yukinoshita let off an expression brimmingwith a sense of achievement. Then, she smiled.

From now on, you can thrive with this wonderful memory in your heart, even if youre on your own.

Your solution was a bit of a steep bet

Then that would mean that I havent settled Ms. Hiratsukas request yet I need to appoach things more fundamentally How about you stop going to school?

Thats not a solution; thats more like covering up a stink.

Oh my, so you were aware of your own stench?

Oh no, only that of the one pinching her nose hey, cut that out!

Lame.

After that somewhat witty interjection, I managed a hushed laugh while Yukinoshita glared at me with eyes that seemingly asked me, why are you even alive? LikeI said: scary eyes.

What followed was a hush that could pierce ones ears. In fact, the pain could have also been Yukinoshitas unrestricted lambasting assaulting my ears. But the silence was rudely shattered by a violent pull at the door, which was followed by arude crash that echoed all around.

Yukinoshita. Its just me.

Please knoc

My bad, my bad. Dont mind me and carry on. Just thought Id drop by to check thingsout.

Ms. Hiratsuka propped herself against a wall and placidly offered a faint smileto Yukinoshita, who was by now issuing out a hesitant sigh. Afterwards, the teacher exchanged looks between Yukinoshita and I.

Looks like the two of you are getting along pretty well.

Just what were you looking at that brought you to that conclusion?

Hikigaya, you too had ought to endeavor just as much in rehabilitating that rebel

lious attitude and curing up those rotten eyes of yours. Ill be heading back. Make sure the two of you head on home by the time school hours are up.

Please, wait!

Attempting to stop her, I grasped her hand. In that very same instant

Ow! Oooww! I give up! I give!

I was caught in an arm lock. After a frantic effort at tapping out, she finally



let me go.

Oh, so it was just you, Hikigaya? Dont stand behind me unexpectedly like that or else youll trigger my reflexes.

What are you, Golgo!? Plus, what was there to trigger? You were just being reckless!

Arent you a picky one Anyway, whats your problem?

Pretty much you But whats with this rehabilitation youre talking about? You make itseem like Im some kind of delinquent. In the first place, just what is this place?

With a pensive look on her face, Ms. Hiratsuka brought her hand to her chin in response to my question as if to say she understood the situation.

Yukinoshita hasnt explained it to you yet, has she? Simply put, the goal of this club is to solve personal problems by promoting personal self-reformation. I guide those students who are in need of such reformation to this place. You can think of it as The Room of Spirit and Time[9], or better yet Revolutionary Girl Utena, if it helps makes things easier to understand.

That complicated things unnecessarily For one, youve just revealed your age.

Did you say something?

Nothing at all.

An inexplicably cold and piercing glare shot through me, which huddled up my shoulders and muddled my voice into a weak murmur. As this was going on, I caught Ms. Hiratsuka letting out a sigh.

Yukinoshita, it appears his rehabilitation is turning out to be a bit of a handful.

I blame it on the fact that he is oblivious to the issue at hand. Yukinoshita repl

ied.

The teacher gave a pained expression in response to Yukinoshitas indifference.

I had this irresistible urge to get out of here. How should I put it It feels just like the time in 6th grade when my parents discovered my stash of porn mags and they gave me an earful for it.

Then again, that could hardly compare to this.

Umm Youve been going on and on about my rehabilitation and reformation and revolutions and revolutionary girls and what have you, but I never really asked for anyof that

As I was saying this, Ms. Hiratsuka tilted her head to the side.

I dont follow. she said.

What are you talking about? Yukinoshita interjected. Dont you see that if you dontange your ways, you will be on the level of a social reject?

I am against war. Abandon your weapons of mass destruction. Such was the soundness of her argument that I could see read from her face.



The moment I saw you, she continued, I knew that your way of life was by far remarkably inferior to that of others. Isnt that enough to make you want to change? Havent you any aspirations to do such?

Thats not the point I just dont like being told by different people that my self cachange or be changed like that. In the first place, if convincing me was all ittook to change who I am, then that wouldnt really make me myself now, would it?As they say, the self is

such that it cannot be viewed by oneself objectively.

Hoping to follow up my Descartes rip-off of a quote with something a little coolsounding, I was intercepted by Yukinoshita And to think it was going to be a pretty good quote at that.

What youre doing is simply running away. If you dont change now, you wont be able tfind your way forward.

She had no second thoughts on dropping that bomb shell. Shes been acting like a prick this whole time. Are her parents sea urchins, or something?

And whats so wrong with running away? And youve been running your mouth like an idiot about change like its the only word you know how to speak. Very well then, can

you face the Sun and ask it to stop setting in the West and, starting today, begin setting in the East because its a damn hassle for everyone?

Such fallacy. Please stop straying your argument away from the point. Its not theSun that moves, rather, the Earth. Dont you even know the heliocentric theory ofthe solar system?

Obviously, that was just an analogy! If you want fallacies, then youre quite the fallacy yourself! In the end, the change youre talking about is simply change aimed towards escaping the current condition. Who, now, is running away? If I reallydidnt want to run away, then I would forget about change and plant my feet firmly into the ground. Whats wrong with simply accepting the me now and the me then?

If that were the case then troubles would never be solved, and no one would ever be saved.

As the words exited her mouth, Yukinoshitas expression took on that of a bloodcurdling anger. I involuntarily flinched. I might have even burbled out an apologyjust to appease her. Moreover, what she said wasnt something any mere high schoolstudent would say. Just what in the world is pushing this girl to go this far?I completely unlike her could hardly fathom.

Now both of you calm down.

Ms. Hiratsukas voice ushered in some calm moderation into what was beginning to get hostile, or better yet, the atmosphere that had been hostile since the very s

tart. Upon closer inspection, however, the teacher actually had a grin on her face that appeared to be one of true amusement and overflowing joy.

Things are getting really interesting now. Ms. Hiratsuka said. Im quite fond of devlopments like this. Has a very JUMP magazine feel to it, dont you think?

Why was she the only one getting all fired up? Despite being a woman, her eyes were starting to look like those of a little boys.

Since time immemorial, she continued, when different senses of righteousness come i



nto conflict with one another, it has been customary in boys comics for them to resolve things with a duel.

Yes, but were not in a comic

My statement fell on dead ears. Ms. Hiratsukas voice was resounding with laughterin it as she turned to face Yukinoshita and I while proclaiming in a loud voice, Well do it this way. I will lead a poor lamb with problems much worse than the two of you here. Both of you will try save them using your own styles. This way,you can prove your own righteousness to one another to your hearts content! Who will be able to serve this person? GUNDAM all set, ready GO!

No thank you. Yukinoshita curtly replied.

Her gaze had within it the same coldness that I had been receiving since a whileago. Having the same opinion, however, I offered a bow in acknowledgement. Also, G Gundam is not a part of our generation.

Tsch. Maybe a Robattle would make things easier to understand Ms. Hiratsuka offered.

I interrupted, Thats not the problem

A Medabots reference Thats just too hardcore.

Teacher. Please stop saying things unbecoming of your age. You are being awfullyindecent.

Yukinoshitas icy sharp words were hurled out like an icicle, whereupon Ms. Hiratsuka started to cool down as well. The next instant, a bashful look painted the teachers face and, as if trying to smooth things over, she cleared her throat.

In any case, Ms. Hiratsuka managed, proving your own righteousness can only be donethrough ones own actions. When I say battle it out, I mean it. I will hear no objections from the two of you.

Thats too morbid I objected.

Shes a bonafide kid! The only thing adult-like about her is her chest! Oh no, youlost! Teehee, but Its okay you can have a star! It could be like that even if you went about it half-heartedly. Saying theres meaning in participating in something like that is both convenient and incredible.

However, still more brash words spewed forth from the comic book infested mind of that detestable, big-boobed, middle-aged child.

To make your competition more frantic, Ill prepare for you two a little incentive.The winner can command the loser to do anything they want hows that?

You mean, anything!? I exclaimed.

By anything, she means anything, right? It cant mean anything else but that, right? Gulp.

With the sound of a chair being pulled back, Yukinoshita had retreated back twometers with her arms embraced around her body in a defensive stance.

With him as my enemy, I feel as if my chastity is in danger! I refuse!

Prejudice! I shot back. Indecent things arent the only things that junior high scho



l students think about you know!

There are many other things like, let see Ive got it! World peace? And stuff? Yeah.As for the rest, they pretty much dont think about anything.

How now, Ms. Hiratsuka spoke up, it would seem that Ms. Yukino Yukinoshita does have something that she is afraid of Do you lack that much confidence in yourself towin it?

Ms. Hiratsuka spoke with a ridiculing face to Yukinoshita who was beginning to show signs of irritation.

Very well then. Yukinoshita managed. Though your cheap provocations have been nothig but mere annoyances, I will take you up on your challenge. Incidentally, I canleave the matter of that boy for you to dispose of.

Whoa, talk about a sore loser. Shes like the kind that hates to lose so much, they say things like I can see right through your moves to spite. But wait, whats this about disposing of me? Enough with the scary stuff, already.

Then its decided.

Ms. Hiratsuka topped off her grin with a laugh but it was deflected by Yukinoshitas stare.

I peeked in a comment, Umm And my purpose here is?

When I look at that smirk on your face, the more I refuse to listen to you. Yukinoshita retorted.

Is that so?

I will determine the winner of this battle," said Ms. Hiratsuka, "the basis of which will be my own judgement and prejudice, naturally. Dont mind the specifics, just stick to your opinions as adequately As appropriately and as properly as youcan.

After the last of her words were spoken, the teacher turned her back to leave the classroom. Left behind was a very displeased-looking Yukinoshita and I. Of course, there was to be no conversation between us.

Lingering about in the atmosphere, the silence was shattered with the sound of abroadcast over the school PA system. The chime rang bearing its portents. Afterthe distinctly synthetic melody faded away, Yukinoshita closed her book with asnap. That was the chime signaling the end of the school day.

At that signal, Yukinoshita quickly began preparing her things to leave. With paperback in hand, she secured her bag and got up to stand. Then, she shot a glance in my direction. Still, she only looked at me without saying anything before she left and was gone. No thatll do for today or take care from her only a gallant

ly contemptuous exit. It was a surplus of that cold interaction with her that didnt even need her voice to accompany it. And even after that, all that was left to remain standing in isolation was me, all alone.

I wonder if today could be considered an unlucky day. I got called to the faculty office, got forced to join some mystery clubs activities, got lambasted by a girl with a helplessly cute face; It would seem that I took in a considerable amount of damage. Isnt talking to women supposed to make your heart race, and not sink in despair? At this rate, would I be better off talking to stuffed toys like Iusually do? For one, they dont talk back to you, and they smile and laugh for yo



u too. Why couldnt I have been born a masochist? Moreover, why was I dragged intothis senseless battle? Whats more, I cant possibly imagine winning against an opponent like Yukinoshita.

Besides, since when was it proper to have battles right off the bat as club activity? Personally when I think of club activities, itd be something like those girls who get together to start a band kind of thing I see on DVDs. Those kind of activities where participating makes perfect sense. But in this development in Yukinoshitas case will we ever get along? Not a chance. I could imagine her now commanding me in a calm manner, Your breath reeks, so would you mind not breathingfor up to three hours?

As I expected, youth is nothing but lies.

They fabricate a sense of beauty in defeat by shedding tears for themselves after losing in a summer tournament during their senior year. They deceive themselves when they need to repeat a college entrance examination by insisting on calling it a setback and part of human experience. They pretend to be thinking of thewelfare of the person they cant confess their affection to and pull back.

As for what comes next, lets just say that looking forward to that unlikely romantic comedy in a strained atmosphere with a girl who seems to be irritated but who you could say is just in denial isnt going to happen.

I do not believe that my essay needs to be rewritten. As I expected, youth is fraud, deception, and blasphemy.

[edit] Translation Notes

? Reference to Japanese drama series "Drop-out Teacher Returns to School" (Yankii Boukou ni Kaeru).

? Reference to Date Masamune from Sengoku BASARA who has a habit of throwingin Engrish lines into his regular speech.

? She's referring to Usopp from One Piece and his penchant phrase.? This reference was translated trans-culturally into an American context. B

ozo was a candy-coated bubble gum manufactured by the Topps Candy Company in the1970's. In the original Japanese version, Yukinoshita used the term nubouttoshita to describe Hikigaya, which means "to stand idly" or "to look silly or stupid". The candy being referenced here was called NuuBou, and was manufactured by Morinaga Candy Corp.

? Tomoko Matsushima was a Japanese stage and drama actress, voice actress, and song artist popular in the 1960's who figured in a lion attack during a photoshoot in the African safari in the 70's. Her head got caught between the jaws of the beast and though she didn't die, she is now afflicted with a mental disorder similar to autism.

? He's hinting at Detective Conan.? This is a play on the names of characters from the manga Kinnikuman.? A fable written by Kenji Miyazawa, the story talks about a Nighthawk who i

s ridiculed for his ugly appearance and even forced to exile himself. It goes onto talk about how the Nighthawk tries to fly to the distant stars as an escape,only to fail and eventually die. For his efforts, he is granted a permanent place in the sky as a star that never burns out.

? A reference to a place of the same name in Dragonball Z

Back to Prologue Return to Main Page Forward to Chapter 2

Log in / create account



PageDiscussion

ReadEditView history

Project PresentationRecent changesAlt. LanguagesPending ProjectsTeaser ProjectsCategories

Network

ForumBlogFaceBookTwitter

Original Light NovelsLight Novels

7 NightsA Simple SurveyAccel WorldAnohana: The Flower We Saw That DayAsura Cryin'Baccano!BlazBlueBaka to Tesuto to SyokanjuBoku to Kanojo no Game SensouBoku wa Tomodachi ga SukunaiBokusatsu Tenshi Dokuro-chanCampione!The Circumstances Leading to Waltraute's Marriage

Chrome Shelled RegiosCubexCursedxCuriousDai Densetsu no Yusha no DensetsuDantalian no ShokaDate A LiveDenpa Onna to Seishun OtokoDurarara!!Fate/ApocryphaFate/ZeroGekkouGhost HuntGinban KaleidoscopeGolden Time

Gundam UnicornHeavy ObjectHidan no AriaHigh School DxDHyoukaIchiban Ushiro no DaimaouInfinite StratosIris on Rainy DaysItsuka Tenma no Kuro UsagiKamisama no Memochou



KampferKara no KyoukaiKaze no StigmaKikou Shoujo wa KizutsukanaiKino no TabiKokoro ConnectKyoukai Senjou no HorizonMadan no Ou to VanadisMahouka Koukou no RettouseiMaoyuu Maou YuushaMaria-sama ga MiteruMA SeriesMimizuku to Yoru no OuMondaiji-tachi ga isekai kara kuru soudesu yoMoonlight SculptorMuvLuv Alternative SchwarzesmarkenMonogatari SeriesMushi to MedamaNogizaka Haruka no HimitsuOda Nobuna no YabouOmae o Otaku ni Shiteyaru kara, Ore o Riajuu ni Shitekure!Ore no Imouto ga Konna ni Kawaii Wake ga NaiOre no Kanojo to Osananajimi ga Shuraba SugiruOusama Game

Papa no Iu Koto o Kikinasai!PuiPuiRainRakuin no MonshouRead or DieRemembrances for a Certain PilotRental MagicaRinkan no MadoushiSaiunkoki MonotagariSakurasou no Pet na KanojoSayonara Piano SonataSeikai no SenkiSeikoku no Ryuu Kishi

Seirei Tsukai no Blade DanceSeitokai no IchizonShakugan no ShanaShinrei Tantei YakumoShinSekai YoriShissou Suru Shishunki no ParabellumSilver Cross and DraculeaSlayersStrike WitchesSword Art OnlineTabi ni Deyou, Horobiyuku Sekai no Hate MadeToaru Majutsu no IndexToradora!

Tasogare-iro no Uta TsukaiTsukumodo Antique ShopTsurugi no Joou to Rakuin no KoUtsuro no Hako to Zero no MariaWelcome to the N.H.K!White Album 2 OmakeThe World God Only KnowsThe Zashiki Warashi of Intellectual VillageYahari ore no seishun rabu kome wa machigatte iruZero no Tsukaima



Visual NovelsAbandoned [Eng]Google AdSenseToolbox

This page was last modified on 9 June 2013, at 05:10.This page has been accessed 636 times.Content is available under TLG Translation Common Agreement v.0.4.1.

Privacy policyAbout Baka-TsukiDisclaimers

TLG Translation Common Agreement v.0.4.1Powered by MediaWiki

my love romantic comedy is wrong as i expected

Documents