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Why toddles cry?

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The years between the ages of one and three are probably the most emotionally tumultuous in a child’s life. This is a time when your toddler may zig-zag between tearful neediness and fierce insistence on doing things his or her own way. Your child wants to be independent, but lacks the physical skills to manage without help. He or she wants to have you near all the time, but is furious if you try to show the way. This contrariness is what makes hard work of the job of parenting a toddler, but it is also what makes it such an absorbing experience. There are few things more fulfilling than sharing in your child’s glee in attainment that bring him or her ever closer to the world of bigger children and adults: walking to the shop, repeating “WOOF: whenever a dog appears, wielding a fork or successfully negotiating the stairs.

Your toddler will be testing all kinds of boundaries so this is the time to start laying down some basic rules. There are simple ways to help your child to behave well when willfulness spills over into conflict or tantrums. Some children have personalities that are more intense than others, and a very determined, creative or sensitive child is more likely to have tantrums than one who is naturally laid-back or timid. But the way you responds to crying may also play a part in determining how tantrum-prone your child becomes. A good bedtime and sleep routine is on of the key factors that will help your child to behave reasonably. A regular sleep patterns is the foundation of a daily schedule: get this right, and your toddles is more likely to be happy and equable during the day. There are ideas and techniques to help your child manage his or her moods and sleep well at night. Not all the suggestions will work for every child – it is up to you to choose the ones that suit you and your family.

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It’s important to give growing children lots of ways to release physical energy. It can help to reduce tantrums too.

“A good bedtime and sleep routine is one of the key factors that will help your child to behave reasonably.”

Crying, behavior and sleeping

Toddlers may cry several times a day, and their upset may seem out of all proportion to the cause. But it is important to remember that your toddler simply isn’t equipped to deal with difficulties yet. Young children don’t have the experience to know that what they are feeling Is rage, still less that it will soon pass. Crying is the only way they have of coping with unpleasant emotions. It is also still a key mode of communication, since they can’t express their needs or feelings accurately with their limited vocabulary.

Frustration There is a huge gap between the things your toddler wants to do and what he or she can manage. Frustration can be positive because it helps to spur a child on to new development achievements. But it isn’t a comfortable feeling and it can quickly lead to tears of rage. Your toddler will also feel frustrated when prevented from doing something that is enjoyable – a small child doesn’t understand, after all, why drawing on walls is bad or why he or she should have to get out of the bath. Fear. Anxiety and Lack of Attention The world can seem a strange and overwhelming place to a young child. Toddlers often develop a fear of, say, the bath, dogs, the dark or certain noises, and will cry when they encounter them. Separation anxiety is normal in toddlers,

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anxiety is normal in toddlers, who want to stay close to their carers and resist being left with other people. Your toddler may no longer cry when you leave a room, but may become distraught if you go out or leave him or her at nursery. It’s important to give growing children lots of ways to release physical energy; it can help to reduce tantrums too. You don’t have to go outside for this, try putting on some lively music and having a dance around the house. It will probably improve your mood too. Most children will cry when they are told off, because they fear the withdrawal of love from you. To an extent, this is a necessary part of socialization, but it is important to reassure children that you still love them even when they are naughty. Young children have an insatiable need for attention. If you are absorbed in another task, chatting on the phone or – worst of all – cuddling a friend’s baby, your child may start to cry

or behave badly simply because he or she wants you to play. How you can help? Some crying is inevitable, and part of your child’s way of expressing themselves, but you can minimize mood swings, and perhaps avoid a tantrum, as follows. Rest. Your toddler will cry much more readily when tired. Make sure he or she is getting enough sleep and do all you can to help your child relax: a walk in the buggy or some quiet play on your lap can be almost as good as a sleep in restoring a toddler’s spirits. Fuel. Low blood-sugar levels or dehydration make children (and adults) irritable and fretful. So give regular meals and snacks, with plenty of water to drink. Avoid sugary snacks, which give an initial boost but soon lead to a dip in energy and mood.

Physical release. Toddlers have lots of energy that they need to expend. Go on at least one outing a day, more if your child is very active or had regular tantrums. Toddlers gym classes are great, but simple outings or indoor activities such as dancing can work just as well. Sympathy. Be swift to reassure your child if he or she has a bump or is frustrated when playing with a toy. Be sympathetic about any fears – don’t dismiss them as “silly” or, worse, try to force your child to confront the thing that is frightening. Your child will almost certainly get over any fear more quickly if you are reassuring. Independence. Toddlers are determined to do things for themselves, but don’t always have the skills necessary to carry it out. Lend a hand where possible, but be tactful 0 your child will resent being “babied”. Offering a few simple choices – does he or she want an apple or a banana, say, or to wear trousers or shorts, can help a child feel that he or she has some small mastery of the daily routine, and will boost self-confidence. Preparation. Don’t demand a sudden change of activity. If your child is involved in a game but it’s time to leave, give five minutes’ warning, and then a one-minute warning, too, so he or she is prepared for the change. Distraction. If your toddler starts to get upset, try starting a new game or activity, exclaiming at something you see out of the window, singing a song and pulling

Preparation. Don’t demand a sudden change of activity. If your child is involved in a game but it’s time to leave, give five minutes’ warning, and then a one-minute warning, too, so he or she is prepared for the change. Distraction. If your toddler starts to get upset, try starting a new game or activity, exclaiming at something you see out of the window, singing a song and pulling faces, or taking the child out for a change of scene. Deliberate Crying Toddlers gradually become aware of what crying can achieve and its effect on adults, and realize they can use it to get something that they want – think of young children whining for sweets in the supermarket. At first, this is not so much devious as experimental: your child is naturally going to test all the methods available to see what works and one he or she discovers crying can get results, a toddler is bound to try it on from time to time. It is up to you to differentiate between genuine upset and deliberate whining, so you don’t reward bad behavior.

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