persuasion presentation - english teacher guru · leonard materials for the actf tv series, film...

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TEACHING PERSUASION: WRITING WITH AUTHORITY Presented by Lindsay Williams

The English Teacher Guru

Wordsmart Consulting

COPYRIGHT

L & E Williams Holdings Pty Ltd, 2010

ABOUT ME

  English teacher 25 years; Head of English 16 years   Worked in both state and private sector   Immediate past Vice President of the English Teachers Association of Queensland   Winner Peter Botsman Memorial Award for contributions to English in

Queensland   Director of educational consultancy company   Presenter at many conferences and seminars including two day workshop at

ASFLA pre-conference institute (2009) and Independent Schools Association (2010)   Teach pre-service English teachers, University of Queensland   Currently researching the interpersonal use of language, gesture and space

through the University of New England (supervisor: Associate Professor Mary Macken-Horarik)

  Educational author: a range of articles, reports, curriculum materials (Lockie Leonard materials for the ACTF TV series, Film Australia, National Reading Day 2007, classroom guide to graphic novel version of The Merchant of Venice for Walker Books ), Teachers Notes for newly released Odo Hirsch book Darius Bell and the glitter pool (Allen & Unwin), Teacher Notes for Richard Harland’s Worldshaker, Teacher Notes for Jameela by Rukhsana Khan (Allen and Unwin)

  Contributing author to AATE kit, Critical Literacy: Readings and Resources (1996)and Global Learning Centre’s A World of Texts (1995); sole writer: English Teaching Survival Manual

ANTICIPATORY SET (SEE P28)

How would you improve this piece of writing?

I believe that Australia must accept more refugees into the country. We have learned that recently there are many people who have had to leave their country because of war or their beliefs. They could not wait to get visas or stay in camps for many years so they risked their lives to come to Australia. They would not do this if they did not have to. These people need homes. We must help them to settle in to the country, not send them away. Please change your policies about refugees before it is too late.

AIMS (P1)

 To clarify the genre of persuasion  To discuss some of the features of a hortatory

exposition  To explore the issue of writer’s role and audience  To investigate the importance of the getting the

interpersonals right  To experience some learning activities that could

be adapted for use with students

OUTLINE (P1)

 Anticipatory set  Workshop objectives and outline  General issues re NAPLAN 2011  Morning: some basic elements of exposition  Afternoon: getting the interpersonals right  Teaching strategies reviewed  Where to from here?

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HOUSEKEEPING

 Timings:   9.15-10.30am: first session   10.30-10.50am: morning tea   10.50am-12.30pm: second session   12.30-1.10pm: lunch   1.10-3.00pm: third session

 Amenities  Spelling on Certificate of Attendance  Electronic copies of materials

DISCLAIMERS

 Links to EQ literacy PD  No secret insights – based on my reading of

NAPLAN website and professional experience  Read all material yourself, including QSA

Essential Learnings and draft Australian English Curriculum – but be wary of gaps!!

 Focus on the critical interpersonal aspect of persuasive writing – see page 20 for a range of other features to be considered and taught

 The issue of sequencing

HOW OLD WAS THE STUDENT WHO WROTE THIS?

About half a millennium ago, when knights were brave and kings were royal, with horses as black as ebony and the war just starting to break out, the scared little king quickly hid under his bed sheets, trembling like an earthquake, and gave the order to attack.

QUESTIONS? Burning questions

NAPLAN 2011: PERSUASION?

NAPLAN 2011: PERSUASION?

 See advice p1-2  Refer to stimulus on laminated cards

(one between two or three)  Read the hortatory expositions,

pages 4-6  Topic: Clearing of a eucalypt forest

to expand the school oval and provide private parking area for the principal

 Avoiding generic recipes

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ORAL-LITERATE CONTINUUM: WHAT ARE WE SHOOTING FOR?

WHAT ARE WE SHOOTING FOR? (P3)

Level Example

1 Most spoken – oral language

Visigoths engaged in the sacking of Rome.

4 A group of Visigoths reminiscing around the campfire the night after the battle: “Man, you should have seen Waldemar when he busted the statue. He totally trashed it. When its head flew off it nearly wasted Eric.”

7 Most written – literate language

A work on imperialism using Rome as an example: “While imperialism is an enduring ideology, the tendency is for empires not to endure. For example, Rome ...”

THE STRUCTURE OF HORTATORY EXPOSITIONS Part One

STRUCTURE

 The basic structure  Paragraphs and PEEL  Using Writing Plans

(A) WHOLE TEXT STRUCTURE

 See page 30  Structure

  Introduction: Background; identification of issue; thesis (I believe that… statement); preview of arguments

  Argument 1: P.E.E.L.   Argument 2: P.E.E.L.   Argument 3: P.E.E.L.   Conclusion: restatement of thesis; summary of

arguments; call to action

AVOIDING RECIPES

As you know, we are very lucky to have a patch of native eucalyptus forest in our school grounds. These trees, a crucial part of the local ecosystem, are currently under threat due to plans to expand the oval. I believe strongly that the destruction of this forest must not happen. Firstly, by keeping the patch of forest we will make our own contribution to the fight against global warming. Secondly, the forest is a haven for local wildlife, especially the local koala population. Thirdly, the forest is a place students could go to escape the hot summer sun.

A remnant of native eucalyptus forest stands in one corner of our school grounds. However, these trees, a crucial part of the local ecosystem, are threatened by plans for an expansion of the oval. The destruction of the forest must not proceed. Instead, we need to think globally and act locally: retention of the patch of forest will contribute to the fight against global warming. Moreover, the forest can be left as a haven for local wildlife, especially the iconic koala. Finally, the forest is a sanctuary for students needing to escape the blistering summer sun.

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(B) PARAGRAPH STRUCTURE: P.E.E.L. (P6-7)

P Point T Topic sentence

E Elaboration E Elaboration E Example E Example L Link L Link

 Origins/ownership disputed, but in very common use

  Important for NAPLAN, but also short response items in Year 12 QCS test

ACTIVITY 2 (P7) Identify the P.E.E.L. structure in the following paragraph. See

page 4 for the full text.

Secondly, then, Koalas and other wildlife that live in our area can be protected by this action. As more people flood into South East Queensland, more land is cleared for roads and houses. This urban expansion is putting serious pressure on the fragile habitat of our wildlife. As we all know, a large expanse of eucalyptus forest adjoining the local koala sanctuary was destroyed a few years ago to make way for a new housing estate. The developers made little attempt to protect vulnerable wildlife by providing sufficient corridors through which koalas and other animals could roam in safety. We have the opportunity to avoid making the same mistake. We must keep our patch of eucalyptus trees as a safe haven for wildlife. Furthermore, the saving of the forest will help also help students who attend the school now.

ACTIVITY 2: ANSWER (P7)

P Secondly, then, Koalas and other wildlife that live in our area can be protected by this action.

E As more people flood into South East Queensland, more land is cleared for roads and houses. This urban expansion is putting serious pressure on the fragile habitat of our wildlife.

E As we all know, a large expanse of eucalyptus forest adjoining the local koala sanctuary was destroyed a few years ago to make way for a new housing estate. The developers made little attempt to protect vulnerable wildlife by providing sufficient corridors through which koalas and other animals could roam in safety. We have the opportunity to avoid making the same mistake.

L We must keep our patch of eucalyptus trees as a safe haven for wildlife. Furthermore, the saving of the forest will help also help students who attend the school now.

(C) SCAFFOLDING LITERACY MODEL AND THE WRITING PLAN (P29)

Scaffolded reading

Joint analysis of sentence &

word constructions

Scaffolded writing •  Includes

Writing Plans

THE WRITING PLAN (P7-8) Author’s text Writing plan Text patterning

The author’s language

What the author does

Having a go at writing a new essay on your own topic

A remnant of native eucalyptus forest stands in one corner of our school grounds.

Provides background to the issue by telling the reader about the current situation (positive)

However, these trees, a crucial part of the local ecosystem, are threatened by ill-considered plans for an expansion of the oval.

Provides further background by contrasting the current situation with a potential problem

THE WRITING PLAN (P7-8)

Author’s text Writing plan Text patterning

The author’s language What the author does Having a go at writing a new essay on your own topic

A remnant of native eucalyptus forest stands in one corner of our school grounds.

Provides background to the issue by telling the reader about the current situation (positive)

Everyday, proud Australians pay their respect to and even die for our flag: its Union Jack in the corner and dominated by the stars of the Southern Cross.

However, these trees, a crucial part of the local ecosystem, are threatened by ill-considered plans for an expansion of the oval.

Provides further background by contrasting the current situation with a potential problem

However, a bizarre plan is afoot to replace this national icon with a flag designed by the winner of a third rate reality television program.

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WRITING PLANS

 See examples p7 and 8   Paragraph One from Sample A, p4   Paragraph 2 from Sample B, p5

We will return to this shortly…

RESPONDING TO THE STIMULUS

RESPONDING TO STIMULUS

 T-chart and prioritising

 Concept webs  Futures wheel

Activity: (a) Using the sample

stimulus, have a go at one of the strategies.

(b) Using the Writing Plan (p7), write the introduction.

EXAMINING THE LANGUAGE OF EXPOSITION Part One

THE LANGUAGE OF EXPOSITION (PART ONE)

 Cohesion and sentence combining

 Nominalisation  Organising

information flow: Theme/Rheme progression

Note: This is not an introductory grammar PD.

COHESION AND SENTENCE COMBINING

As you probably know, trees act like sponges, absorbing the carbon belched out by cars, electricity generation and the production of consumer goods. However, did you know that a staggering 50 football fields worth of trees and bushland is destroyed every hour! So, what can we do? We must keep the eucalyptus forest in our own school.

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use of elaboration

trees act like sponges absorbing the carbon belched out by cars, electricity generation and the production of consumer goods


Elaboration: ‘provides a further characterisation of [an element] that is already there, restating it, clarifying it, refining it, or adding a descriptive attribute or comment’ (Halliday cited in Macken-Horarik 2008)

The use of elaboration (amongst other features) is a characteristic of the writing of students who receive high grades in English (Macken-Horarik 2008).



Use of different types of sentences

  Questions   Statements

These will be elaborated on later.


Use of different types of sentences  Simple, e.g. We must keep the eucalyptus forest in

our own school. (from Sample A)  Compound, e.g. The forest provides students with

much-needed shade and protection from the harmful effects of the sun. (from Sample B)

 Complex, As you probably know, trees act like sponges, absorbing the carbon belched out by cars, electricity generation and the production of consumer goods. (from Sample A)


Parallel sentence structures and the ‘rule of three’ (or triplets)

These trees are vital to the fight against global warming. They are vital in the protection of local wildlife, including much-loved Australian animals such as the koala. Finally, they are vital for the shade that provides much-needed sun protection for students and helps ensure that we grow up healthy and strong. (from Sample A)

Is this what we wants for our children, our community, our environment? (from Sample C)

STRATEGY: SENTENCE COMBINING (P10-11)

Decombining: Lots of trees are chopped down over a wide area. This activity causes global warming in a significant way.

Original: One of the significant causes of global warming is widespread deforestation.

Which sounds better?

More detail – see page 10.

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SENTENCE COMBINING (P11)

Activity (a)

Try writing a sentence similar to the example above:

A significant cause of … is ….

SENTENCE COMBINING (P11)

Activity (b) Using three different methods, combine the

following two sentences into one.

The bird flew through the air. The bird saw a worm.

SENTENCE COMBINING: EXAMPLES

Version Attempt Method

1 The bird which was flying through the air saw a worm.

Conversion of one independent clause to a dependent clause

2 The bird was flying through the air and saw a worm.

Use of coordinating conjunction; elision of second reference to bird

3 The sight of the worm resulted from the bird’s flight.

Nominalization; formation of noun groups signalling of cause-effect

GET STUDENTS EXPERIMENTING…

Interrupting clauses, e.g.

After three days, when all hope of reaching a settlement with the protestors was abandoned, the negotiators were packing their bags for home.

Projected clauses, e.g.

The president of the P&C claims that the forest will not be destroyed.

The president of the P&C has stated,“The forest will not be destroyed.”

GRAMMATICAL METAPHOR: NOMINALISATION (P11-12)

Lexical metaphor: meaning is carried by a different, less usual form of wording – one thing means another, e.g. He was menacing. His eyes were dark pits.

In simple terms, the meaning from a more ‘congruent’ word class is carried by another word class.

The rope is long [adjective]. The length [noun] of rope

EXAMPLES OF TURNING AND EVENT INTO A THING…

Many people have criticised these ideas. These ideas have been subject to widespread criticism.

Basically, we assume that (learners) retain unfamiliar words depending on how much they are involved in processing these words.

Our basic assumption is that the retention of unfamiliar words is conditional upon the degree of involvement in processing these words.

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STUDENT ASSIGNMENT – LITTLE/NO NOMINALIZATION (YR 12 EEI)

‘However, the Biological Oxygen Demand (B.O.D.) levels produced were quite low, showing that the lake was healthy in terms of not much bacteria was present as usually much of the dissolved oxygen is consumed by bacteria and this makes it unavailable to other organisms.’ (p8)

STUDENT ASSIGNMENT – INCREASED NOMINALIZATION

However, the production of low Biological Oxygen Demand (B.O.D.) levels reveals good lake health in terms of bacterial presence; usually consumption of much of the dissolved oxygen by bacteria results in lack of availability to other organisms.

FROM LETTER TO EDITOR (SAMPLE C, P6)

Paragraph 2: However, all of this is now under threat: the school’s P&C plans to destroy this patch of suburban paradise to make way for extensions to the school oval, including a new carpark.

 Nominalizations  The P&C plans

threaten (Process/verb) the forest threat (noun)

  the P&C is extending (Process/verb) the school oval extensions to the school oval (noun group)

NAPLAN 08: NOMINALIZATION

In the distance, the great city looms. A behemoth of towering structures surrounded by a halo of pollution. An ugly blemish, blocking out the sun as it sinks beneath the horizon.

‘You know, Matt,’ said Thim, sinking his hands in the pockets of his tattered jacket, ‘there used to be these things before the city came. These things called birds. They flew.’

I frowned at this odd statement.


In the distance, the great city looms. A behemoth of towering structures surrounded by a halo of pollution. An ugly blemish, blocking out the sun as it sinks beneath the horizon.

‘You know, Matt,’ said Thim, sinking his hands in the pockets of his tattered jacket, ‘there used to be these things before the city came. These things called birds. They flew.’

I frowned at this odd statement.


 Dust and smoke particles polluting the air encircled the city a halo of pollution

  ‘You know, Matt,’ said Thim, sinking his hands in the pockets of his tattered jacket, ‘there used to be these things before the city came. These things called birds. They flew.’ this odd statement

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YOU HAVE A GO…

  Turn these verbs into nouns.

  Classify   Invite   Swim

Hint: Use one of these suffixes (word endings)

  -tion   -ation   -ization   -ance   -ment   -ing   -y   -er   -ism   -dom

YOU HAVE A GO…

Turn these verbs into nouns.

1.  Classify classification

2.  Invite invitation 3.  Swim swimming

Hint: Use one of these suffixes (word endings)

  -tion   -ation   -ization   -ance   -ment   -ing   -y   -er   -ism   -dom

COMMON WAYS OF TURNING VERBS INTO NOUNS   -tion (receive reception; conceive conception) – also –

sion, -cion   -ation (visit visitation; invite invitation; accommodate

accommodation)   -ization/-isation (civilise civilization; realize

realization; nominalize nominalization)   -ance (perform performance)   -ment (enhance enhancement; enchant enchantment)   -ing (snorkel snorkelling; rustle rustling)   -y (discover discovery)   -er (kill killer; hunt hunter; eat eater)   -ism (I believe things should stay the way they are

conservatism)   -dom (wise wisdon; a place ruled by a king kingdom)

But, there are other possibilities…

SOME EASY STEPS (P12)

‘The carnivore is classified scientifically as Australovenator wintonesis. It has been dubbed “Banjo” after Banjo Patterson, who composed Waltzing Matilda in Winton in1885.’

Note: not every verb group needs to be nominalized.

SOME EASY STEPS


1. Choose a base sentence

SOME EASY STEPS


2. Nominalize a significant verb group.

is classified classification

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SOME EASY STEPS


3. Turn the adverb into an epithet.

Scientific classification

SOME EASY STEPS


4. Turn the remaining words into a noun group

The carnivore which has the scientific classification of Australovenator wintonesis

Note: ‘it’ in the second sentence refers to ‘carnivore’, so there’s a clear signal that this must be take Thing position in the noun group.

SOME EASY STEPS


5. Insert this into the base sentence. (In this case, just replace ‘it’.)

The carnivore which has the scientific classification of Australovenator wintonesis has been dubbed “Banjo” after Banjo Patterson, who composed

Waltzing Matilda in Winton in1885.

QUESTIONS?

NOMINALISATION (P12)

Activity 5

Find examples of nominalisation in Sample Text B, page 5.

(C) ORGANISING INFORMATION FLOW: THEME/RHEME PROGRESSION (P12-13)

Theme

“…the Theme can be identified as that element which comes in the first position in the clause…(it) is the starting point for the message; it is what the clause is going to be about. So part of the meaning of any clause lies in which element is chosen as its Theme… (Halliday, 1985)

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THEME

 Commonly, the first element is the:  Participant or  Process or  Circumstance.

THEME

Participant as Theme: “Frodo looked out eastward and gazed at the tall island. Its sides sprang sheer out of the running water.”

Process as Theme: “Curse you and all Halflings to death and darkness.”

Circumstance as Theme: “In this matter I cannot advise you.”

[Examples from: J. R. R. Tolkien (2001). Lord of the rings: fellowship of the ring. Hammersmith, London: HarperCollins Publishers.]

THEME AND RHEME

“…Theme represents ‘This is what I’m talking about’ and Rheme is ‘This is what I’m saying about it’…the Theme looks backwards, relating the current message to what has gone before. The Rheme points both backwards and forwards by picking up on information which is already available and by presenting information which was not there before.” (Gerot & Wignell, 1995)

THEME AND RHEME

“Frodo looked out eastward and gazed at the tall island. Its sides sprang sheer out of the running water. High up above the tall cliffs were steep slopes upon which trees climbed, mounting one head upon another; and above them again were grey faces of inaccessible rock, crowned by a great spire of stone.”

THEME AND RHEME

Frodo looked out eastward and gazed at the tall island.

Its sides sprang sheer out of the running water.

High up above the tall cliffs were steep slopes

Have a go

On page 12, the Themes from one paragraph of Text 1 have been underlined. Draw arrows to show the information flow (e.g. Rheme Theme) – to what do each of these Themes refer back?

Warning: It’s not always the nice zigzag pattern of the example!!

THEME (P12-13)

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we Refers back to ‘we’ at the beginning of paragraph one

By stopping the clearing of trees in our schoolyard

‘the opportunity’ and ‘act locally’ from previous sentence

One of the causes of this problem ‘global warming’ from previous sentence

Trees ‘deforestation’ from previous sentence

A staggering 50 football fields worth of trees and bushland

‘deforestation’ (and ‘trees’) from previous sentence/s

we Refers back to ‘we’ at beginning of paragraph

Koalas and other wildlife that live in our area

Refers to ‘environmental benefits’ in last sentence of previous paragraph as well as second last sentence of first paragraph

THEME (P12-13) ORGANISING INFORMATION FLOW: THEME/RHEME PROGRESSION (P13)

Activity 6

The text on p13 is a (persuasive) exposition. In groups, try mapping the pattern of Themes (underlined).

Note: This is simplified with Themes being identified by sentence.

QUESTIONS?

WRITER’S ROLE AND AUDIENCE

ACTIVITY 1 (P2)

Here is a child trying to convince his parents to give him more money. Which approach would more likely be successful? Why?

1.  ‘In fact, you absolutely need to talk to me about your obligation to pay me more pocket money. Otherwise, I’ll hate you forever.'

2.  'Perhaps we could talk sometime about the possibility of more pocket money? That would make me really really happy.'

ACTIVITY 1

1.  ‘In fact, you absolutely need to talk to me about your obligation to pay me more pocket money. Otherwise, I’ll hate you forever.’

2.  'Perhaps we could talk sometime about the possibility of more pocket money? That would make me really really happy.'

Persuasion = Head + Heart

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SAMPLE EXPOSITIONS (PAGES 4-6)

 Re-read the three sample expositions on a common topic:   Clearing of a eucalypt forest to expand the school oval

and provide private parking area for the principal

What accounts for their differences?

SAMPLE EXPOSITIONS

Differences can be accounted for mainly in terms of two interpersonal factors:

 Status (or power)   equal unequal

 Contact (or solidarity)   intimate (close) distant

IN THIS SECTION OF THE WORKSHOP…

How do the roles of writer and reader and their relationships (power and contact) influence the use of language?

How can the use of language influence the roles of writer and reader and their relationships (power and contact)?

Language Interpersonals

BOYS AND “FAKING IT”

TAKING A STAND WITH MOOD Modifying status (power)

TAKING A STAND WITH MOOD (P14-15)

People can use language to:  make a statement, e.g. There's a chair in there.

(declarative)   ask a question, e.g. Is there a chair in there?

(interrogative)   deliver a command, e.g. Sit down! (imperative)   or exclaim with surprise, make an emphatic

statement, e.g. How strange! What idiots! (exclamative)

Our focus: the first three

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HOW WILL THIS HELP WITH PERSUASION?

 See p14  Playing with Mood choices

  I need to know your name, please. (declarative)   Your name is... (declarative - truncated)   What is your name? (interrogative)   Tell me your name. (imperative)

 Try activity 7 (p15)  Try activity 8 and 9 (p15)

ACTIVITY 3 (P15)

Sample A – largely declarative, but:   However, did you know that scientific studies reveal

that a staggering 50-football fields worth of trees and bushland is destroyed every hour! So, what can we do? We must keep the eucalyptus forest in our own school.

  Please stop the P&C going ahead with its current plans.

Note: However, did you know that scientific studies reveal that

a staggering 50-football fields worth of trees and bushland is destroyed every hour!

Statement using interrogative mood and punctuated like an exclamative.

COMPARE WITH SAMPLE C (P6) FOR EXAMPLE:

  Is this what we want for our children, our community, our environment?

 Help stop this destruction before it’s too late. Call Dennis Road State School now and register your opposition to this terrible proposal.

TAKING A STAND WITH MODALITY

MODALITY

The way we use language to express:  How probable or likely an occurrence is  How obliged someone is to do something  How inclined someone is to do something  How capable someone is  How usual it is for an event to occur

TAKING A STAND WITH MODALITY

 See page 16  Modality cline activity

(refer to the information on page 17, if desired)

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ACTIVITY 4 (PAGE 9)

Expression Type Degree Structure

Possible probability low Modal adjectival

Perhaps

Cannot

May not

May

Sometimes

Could

Possibly

Note: In fact, this is certainly not an activity I would ever recommend for use with students!

ACTIVITY 4

Expression Type Degree Structure

Possible probability low Modal adjectival

Perhaps probability low Modal adverb

Cannot capacity (negative)

low Modal verb

May not probability low Modal verb

May probability low Modal verb

Sometimes usuality low Modal adverb

Could obligation low Modal verb

Possibly probability low Modal adverb

Message: Modality can be expressed in a variety of different ways.

ACTIVITY 5 (PAGE 18)

Version 2: School violence There are a number of definite reasons for school

violence. Certainly children who have problems at school or home feel frustrated because they absolutely cannot solve their problems. In fact, they never talk to their teachers or parents and always feel that they have no friends. This frustration must turn to anger and they are certain to take it out on other people. Children who watch a lot of violent TV shows will surely think that violence is always the best way to solve problems. Adults must help these children to express their feelings in a peaceful way.


Version 2: School violence There are a number of definite reasons for school

violence. Certainly children who have problems at school or home feel frustrated because they absolutely cannot solve their problems. In fact, they never talk to their teachers or parents and always feel that they have no friends. This frustration must turn to anger and they are certain to take it out on other people. Children who watch a lot of violent TV shows will surely think that violence is always the best way to solve problems. Adults must help these children to express their feelings in a peaceful way.

ACTIVITY 5

Version 3: School violence There are a number of reasons for school violence.

Children who have problems at school or home feel frustrated because they cannot solve their problems. They don’t talk to their teachers or parents and feel that they have no friends. This frustration turns to anger and they take it out on other people. Children who watch a lot of violent TV shows think that violence is the best way to solve problems. Adults should help these children to express their feelings in a peaceful way.


My daughter and I occasionally walk to school. Sometimes, we enter through the forest gate and stroll through the gum trees, enjoying dappled shade. If we’re lucky, we could spot koalas high in the branches nibbling on eucalyptus leaves. If we’re really lucky, a wallaby might hop across the track in front of us.

However, all of this may be under threat: the school’s P&C could destroy this patch of suburban paradise to make way for possible extensions to the school oval, including a new carpark for the principal.

Wildlife might be driven out. Shady escapes from the searing summer sun might disappear. Yet another patch of Australian bush could disappear forever. Is this perhaps what we might want for our children, for our local community?

I guess that maybe you could help stop this destruction before it’s too late. Perhaps call Dennis Road State School and register your opposition to this terrible possibility.

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My daughter and I occasionally walk to school. Sometimes, we enter through the forest gate and stroll through the gum trees, enjoying dappled shade. If we’re lucky, we could spot koalas high in the branches nibbling on eucalyptus leaves. If we’re really lucky, a wallaby might hop across the track in front of us.

However, all of this may be under threat: the school’s P&C could destroy this patch of suburban paradise to make way for possible extensions to the school oval, including a new carpark for the principal.

Wildlife might be driven out. Shady escapes from the searing summer sun might disappear. Yet another patch of Australian bush could disappear forever. Is this perhaps what we might want for our children, for our local community?

I guess that maybe you could help stop this destruction before it’s too late. Perhaps call Dennis Road State School and register your opposition to this terrible possibility.

FINAL WORD ABOUT MODALITY…

Objective Subjective

High Certainly; assuredly; it’s certain

I know; I assume

Median Probably; it’s probable

I believe

Low Perhaps; possible; it’s possible; there’s a possibility

I suspect; for my part

Adapted from Martin and Rose 2005

TAKING A STANCE WITH APPRAISAL Swaying the reader’s opinion

A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO APPRAISAL (PAGES 20-22)

Attitude (Is this person or thing good or bad?) (a)  Emotions (from the heart) (b)  Judgement (of people and their behaviour,

character): positive negative (c)  Appreciation (or objects, artefacts, human

performances, people’s appearance, nature etc): positive negative

These can then be graduated (‘turning the volume up or down’ on the attitude)

A BRIEF INTRODUCTION TO APPRAISAL

Engagement  One voice in the text: bare assertion  Many voices in the text:

  Using the voice of others to support our own arguments

  Allowing the ‘voice’ of others into our argument in order to counter it, i.e. ridicule, reject, object to,or silence that ‘voice’

APPRAISAL AND LEMONY SNICKETT (P22-26)

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Re-read Sample A, page 4. Highlight and then comment on the use of Appraisal language.

‘As you know, we are very lucky to have a patch of native eucalyptus forest in our school grounds. These trees, a crucial part of the local ecosystem, are currently under threat due to plans to expand the oval. I believe strongly that the destruction of this forest must not happen. Firstly, by keeping the patch of forest we will make our own contribution to the fight against global warming. Secondly, the forest is a haven for local wildlife, especially the local koala population. Finally, the forest is a place students could go to escape the hot summer sun.’

ACTIVITY 13

‘As you know, we are very lucky to have a patch of native eucalyptus forest in our school grounds. These trees, a crucial part of the local ecosystem, are currently under threat due to plans to expand the oval. I believe strongly that the destruction of this forest must not happen. Firstly, by keeping the patch of forest we will make our own contribution to the fight against global warming. Secondly, the forest is a haven for local wildlife, especially the local koala population. Finally, the forest is a place students could go to escape the hot summer sun.’

ACTIVITY 13

Firstly, we have the opportunity to put into action a message that we are often taught at school: think globally and act locally. By stopping the clearing of trees in our own schoolyard, we will make a genuine contribution to solving global warming, a serious problem that faces the world. One of the causes of this problem is widespread deforestation. As you probably know, trees act like sponges, absorbing the carbon belched out by cars, electricity generation and the production of consumer goods. However, did you know that scientific studies reveal that a staggering 50-football fields worth of trees and bushland is destroyed every hour! So, what can we do? We must keep the eucalyptus forest in our own school. Furthermore, helping to stop global warming is only one (?) of the environmental benefits of keeping this patch of trees.

ACTIVITY 13

Skipping to the final paragraph…Notice the use of repetition…

In conclusion, I hope I have convinced you that keeping the eucalyptus trees in our school grounds will benefit the health of both students like myself and the environment. These trees are vital to the fight against global warming. They are vital in the protection of local wildlife, including much-loved Australian animals such as the koala. Finally, they are vital for their shade that provides much-needed sun protection for students and helps ensure that we grow up healthy and strong. It should be clear that the planned destruction of our forest would be a terrible idea and should not occur. Please stop the P&C going ahead with its current plans.

ACTIVITY 13

Note use of:  Adjectives, e.g. very lucky, crucial  Nouns, e.g. threat, haven  Verbs, e.g. must not, escaped, is destroyed  Clauses, e.g. scientific studies reveal, repetition of

they are vital  Similies, e.g. like sponges

ACTIVITY 14: CLEVER CLOZE (P27)

Read through the paragraph. At various points, you are given choices.

 What effects do you notice by making different choices from those made by the original author?

 Would you make other changes? Why?

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‘THE DEEP BLUE NOTHING’ (NAPLAN 08)

Orientation ‘setting’ and ‘description’: The flicks of silver fish

tails sent flashes of light into my eyes. ‘events’: I swam through the school, chasing them

into the long sea grass. ‘comment’ and ‘events’: My laughter sent a stream of

bubbles to the surface. I was free, weightless, nothing could hold me back. I kicked my legs and was propelled (??) to the surface for my next breath. Then I could return to my underwater paradise, where I could kick and twist and –


Complication ‘problem’: I felt something catch my ankle as my fingertips

skimmed out of the water. I kicked again but I couldn’t get my face to the air. I looked down. A fishing line, almost invisible, was wrapped tight around my ankle, cutting into the skin.

‘reaction’: I struggled to free myself but I only tightened it further. My head began to pound in lust for oxygen, but hard as I tried my fingers could do nothing to budge the miniscule knots. My lungs screamed for air, my throat burned, my head was in agony. In a last desperate act I clawed for the surface. Blood flow was cut off to my foot and my head was still half a metre underwater. My insides burning, my skin freezing, my arms and legs exhausted,

‘events’: I relaxed. I took a deep breath and felt a surge of icy salt water rush down my throat.


Orientation: ‘description’

 My laughter  Free  Propelled  Paradise

Complication: ‘reaction’   Struggled   Pound   Screamed   Burned (in lust for

oxygen)   Agony   Desperate   Clawed   Burning   Freezing   Exhausted

ACTIVITY (PAGE 28)

Read the student text on p28 (or go back to one of the earlier examples) and decide how you could help this student:

 Areas of focus  Possible strategies.

A NOTE ON THE OLD ARGUMENTATIVE TECHNIQUES: A SMALL SELECTION

Technique Interpersonal grammar

Examples

Rhetorical questions Mood - interrogative So, what can we do?

Emotive language Appraisal Register you opposition to this terrible idea.

Repetition Appraisal - graduation

Really really happy

Facts (including statistics)

Mood, modality and appraisal

Trees act like sponges, absorbing the carbon belched out by cars…

Appeal to authority Engagement - attribution

Scientists tell us…

Personal attacks Appraisal - judgement

His accomplice looked neither like a man nor a woman.

The conspiracy theory

Appraisal - attribution

Sources close to the minister warn that…

AND THIS ISN’T ALL THERE IS…

…to the interpersonal uses of language

Negotiation  Speech function  Exchange

Involvement  Naming  Technicality  Abstraction  Anti-language  Swearing (also part of

Appraisal…)

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KEY TEACHING STRATEGIES

TEACHING STRATEGIES TODAY INCLUDE…

  Explicit teaching   Juxtaposition   (Think-aloud) Modelling   Role play   Modality cline   Text marking   Small group discussion

(targeted)   Conferring and re-writing   Clever cloze   Writing Plan   Graphic organisers ….

KEY TEACHING STRATEGIES (PAGE 28-29) Modelling (Showing how)   Exposure to examples: different versions of the genre for different

audiences   Identifying features of language, structure and content, e.g. through

Text Marking, ‘games’, modality clines, cloze exercises, juxtaposition and summaries

  Think aloud writing by the teacher

Guided Practice (Do it together)   Joint writing (teacher and students)   Collaborative writing (students working together with scaffolding and

teacher assistance as needed)   Collaborative feedback

Independent Practice (Have a go by yourself)   With explicit scaffolding   With reduced scaffolding   With no scaffolding

CONCLUSION

CONCLUSION

Remember:   Head and heart   Roles (writer and

audience) and relationships

  Avoiding recipes

What’s one thing you’ll try tomorrow?

CONTACT

[email protected]

www.englishteacherguru.com

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REFERENCES

See page 29 of seminar booklet. The following two were added after preparation of the booklet.

Gerot, L. & Wignell, P. (1995). Making sense of functional grammar. AEE publishing: Queensland

Macken-Horarik, M. (2008), ‘Multiliteracies and ‘Basic Skills’ accountability’, in New Literacies and the English Curriculum: Multimodal Perspectives, ed L. Unsworth, Continuum, London, pp. 283-308.

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