planning and implementing purposeful, progressive...

Planning and Implementing Purposeful,

Progressive and Successful Parenting

Time

Rose Wentz

Fostering Connections to Success and Increasing Adoptions Act of 2008. Definition of time-limited family reunification

services Peer-to-peer mentoring and support groups for parents

and primary caregivers. Services and activities designed to facilitate access to

and visitation of children by parents and siblings. Transportation to or form any of the services and

activities.

Requires us to maintain a child’s connection to his siblings (placement together), school stability, and location and engagement of ALL related adults.

Think of a child in your life• Imagine his/her parent has just been

hospitalized and may die.

• The hospital is many miles away from the child’s home.

• The parent has just called to ask you questions about what is best for the child:– Should the child visit at the hospital? How

often?

– Should we tell the child what is happening?

– Does the child have any choice in planning the visits?

– What other type of contact should the child have with the hospitalized parent?

The primary purpose of Visits is…?

A. To assess a parent’s ability to safely parent their child

B. To meet the child’s developmental and attachment needs

C. To be an incentive to encourage the parent to attend treatment

D. To determine the final permanency plan

Planned to ensure that the child is safe and the visits are held in the most natural and home-like location possible.

Children and parents may feel discomfort before, during or after a visit. A child should not be traumatized by visits/contacts.

Help the child handle grief, loss, adjustment to changes in his life and support to move to next developmental step.

Children must have a Connection Planthat maintains and enhances theirattachment to ALL the peopleimportant in their live.

Child’s Needs and Rights

• Right to know and have a healthy relationship with all the people in my life, especially family members.

• Children have many different types of developmental needs: educational, emotional, medical, moral, social and cultural.

• Right to know what is happening to me and my family.

• If meeting the needs of the adults is in conflict, always use the child’s need to determine your plan.

• All children are initially traumatized by the separation from his/her family and home.

• We must help the child handle trauma and emotions. Denying all forms of contact should be the last option.

• No child is forced to have contact.

Juan Developing visit/connection

plans for Juan Using relatives, friends,

caregivers to enable better and more frequent contact

Developing a lifelong safety network to support Juan and his parents

Maintaining ALL of Juan’s connections throughout his life

Events in case Common practice Progressive visit and Connection practices

Initial investigation

Juan fell down stairs in his home. He has a

broken leg. Medical reports indicate other

injuries in past 6 months; all are

possible accidental injuries yet the

pattern of accidents is of concern.

Placed in with a foster family

unknown to Juan.

The caregivers’ ability or willingness

to support contact from first day is not

assessed.Juan has no contact

with anyone he knows for 3 days.

Juan is placed with someone he knows and who will support contact from the first day of

placement.Parents help pack personal

items that will help Juan’s transition easier.

Juan has a phone call to his parents on the first night in care.

Juan has his first face-to-face visit within 48 hours.

Common Practice VSProgressive Visit and Connection Practices

Page 1

Secure attachment: an exclusive attachment made between children and their contingent, sensitive caregivers who provide nurture, comfort, buffering, shared exploration and help. Parents represent a secure base for exploration.

Examples of secure attachment from a child’s point of view: My parents come back. They are reliable. I can depend on my parents and people whom they

entrust to educate and spend time with me. I want to please my parents most of the time. Parents teach me how to cope with problems and to

solve them.(Gray, 2007)

Attachment looks different across cultural groups and even within a family. We lack an evidenced based, culturally sensitive tool that measures attachment.

Child feels discomfort

Child expresses discomfort

Parent/Caregiver comforts child (need is met)

Child feels comfortable

Arousal Relaxation Cycle

Caregiver feels successful

• When cycle is done many times, bonding occurs • Caregiver bonds also – not just the child

Child is hungry

Child cries

Parent/caregiver does not feed child or child does not eat what is provided

Child is still hungry

Parent feels unsuccessful

It is estimated that healthy mothers are misattuned to their infants 66% of the time (Tronick, 2003)

Child is hungry

Child cries

Parent/caregiver does not feed child or child does not eat what is provided

Child is still hungry

Parent feels unsuccessful

Teach the parent how to anticipate

child’s hunger

Teach the parent how to feed the child

Common practice vs Progressive Visit and Connection PracticesPermanency Planning Hearing to determine final permanency plan for Juan

Essential questions:Did the family make substantial progress?

Did the agency provide reasonable/active effort services to enable the family to make progress?

Visits were reduced or stopped each time Juan’s father relapsed. During in-patient treatment he had no visits with Juan.

Juan’s attachment to his parents is lessened as his father has had very limited visits. Juan and his mother have weekly visits but they become difficult as Juan talks about his “new mom”.

Juan attaches to his caregivers. Attachment is viewed as an activity a child can only have with one family.

Lack of attachment is presented to the court as one reason not to reunite Juan and his parents.

Progressive visits continue even when father relapsed or had not completing all services. The visits were only stopped if the parents are harming Juan on visits.

Juan’s attachment to his parents, extended family, culture and caregivers is supported by all.

Visit progression continues until either Juan is slowly transitioned back home or the next visit step cannot occur.

For either permanent plan: Juan is actively helped to maintain a safe attachment to his parents, extended family and caregivers.

Pages 11-13

Impact of Separation Chart

Issue/Developmental Behaviors/Impact Visit planning strategies

Infants’ cognitive limitations greatly increase their experience of stress.

Infants will be extremely distressed by changes in the environment and caregivers. Expect the infant to show stress in bodily functions such as eating, sleeping and being “fussy”.

Help parent understand why infant may be distressed.Infants should have people they “know” help with all transitions from one caregiver to another.Do not force an infant to eat or sleep during a visit.Have caregiver and parent share information with each other on the infant shows stress and how to comfort child.

Drug exposed infants

Hard to comfort, feed and may not want to be held.

Meet infant’s needs before visit.Teach parent how to understand needs and respond to infant.

Infants have few internal coping skills.

Adults must “cope” for them. Infants who have too many changes will be impacted at a higher level

Give the infant items that bring her comfort such as a blanket or stuffed animal.Do bonding activities on visits.

The Three Roles of Parenting

Birth Parents

Caregiving Parents

Legal Parents

ChildLegal Parent:

•Court

•Agency

•CASA/GAL

•Attorneys adapted from Vera Fahlberg

Birth Parents

Caregiving Parents

Legal Parents

Child

Legal Parents includes:* Court* Agency* Attorneys* GAL* CASA

Co‐Parenting

Working together to raise the childRelationship between caregiver and birth parents.

The agency does not make active efforts to develop a relationship between the two sets of parents.

Parents and Caregivers do not talk or see each other or develop a relationship.There is no coordination of parenting responsibilities.

Conflicts regarding Juan’s daily life style cause stress that sometimes requires court intervention.

Caregiver is not willing to mentor the parent or have visits in their home.

Agency worker begins, within the first days of placement, to develop this relationship using an Ice Breaker meeting or MiTEAMmeetings where the parents are asked to share their story, strengths and concerns. At the meeting parents share information on Juan’s daily care, likes, dislikes, what calms him, etc.

All agree on the type of contacts that can occur outside of face‐to face‐visits. Details are worked out in MiTEAMmeetings.

Conflicts are handled by caregiver, parents and agency worker.

Caregivers and parents have developed a relationship that enables them to agree to mentoring the birth parents.

Page 5

Children are more resilient when they have multiple healthy connections.Resiliency is the key to surviving trauma.

BIRTH PARENT SOCIAL WORKER - person responsible for

developing planCAREGIVER OF CHILDCHILD/YOUTH SUPERVISOR OF VISITTRANSPORTER

TIMES

Before

During

After

Visit and connection evidence-based practice and programs are more related to reunification than many of the parent treatment programs.

All the evidenced-based models have some sessions where the parent and child are together, practicing their new skills and receiving feedback from a professionals based on the model.

Common practice vs Progressive Visit and Connection Practices

Behaviorally specific parenting capabilities related to the maltreatment and that are necessary for reunification are identified.

No specific parenting capabilities are identified.ORParents are given list of general behaviors, most are stated in the negative, may not be related to the maltreatment and are not measurable; the list is often generated by the agencies case planning computer system.Example: Do not leave your child unsupervised Do not use drugs Do not hit your child Have a safe home environment

Visits are not planned to address any specific parenting capabilities related to the maltreatment. Support system is not evaluated.

Using the information from direct observation, professional assessment and

the family, during MiTEAMmeetings they develop measurable capabilities the parents and their support system must consistently demonstrate in order for reunification to occur.For Juan’s case the following was developed:Parents will ensure that a capable, sober person is supervising Juan at all times. This includes being within sight or sound distance of him even when he is asleep.Parents will fix their home or find new housing that addresses the following items: doors to outside can be locked in a manner that Juan cannot open doors and access to stairs both up and down is secured so he cannot use the stairs unattended.Etc.

Visits are planned to teach, model, practice and eventually evaluate whether the parents and their support system can meet the measureable capabilities.

Pages 3-4

Elements of a Visit PlanAll have a continuum or choices

• Purpose

• Frequency

• Length

• Location

• Who attends

• Activities

• Supervision

• Responsibilities

• What to have at the visits

Juan: What would be the easiest and best activities for the first visits?What would be activities to occur later after parents have shown consistent growth in their abilities?

Child should be reunited when they has been successful visits that are:Overnight, unsupervised, in the family home, with all the people involved in parenting the child and at times the family might relapse in their behaviors.

Visits usually start as supervised visits with restrictions on frequency, activities, etc.

When the parent and child are successfully interacting during visits, the plan should allow for ONE element to be changed at a time.

Slowly increase the parent’s responsibility and move toward unsupervised visits, in the parent’s home, while safely testing the parent’s ability.

One change at a time allows for accurate assessment of success or failure.

When there is a failure or repeated problems, go onestep back. Try to only change one element at a time even when there has been a problem.

Common practice vs Progressive Visit and Connection Practices

Visit plan is reassessed at every case review, MiTEAMmeeting, major case decision points and every court hearing.

Pages 7‐8

Visits remain static, have very little progress or changes in visit plans are made at 6 month reviews. Visits are not regularly reviewed by agency worker or the court. There is not a specific plan on how to assess progress and little information is provided to the parents or the court.

Juan’s case: The family has office visits and they are not provided any specific guidance on what activities to do or not to do that is based on knowledge of the parents’ capabilities. No progressive plan is used.

Progress is steadily made over the months to lengthen the visits, slowly decrease the level of supervision, and increase the parenting responsibilities to more difficult situations. The agency worker regularly assesses the parents’ capabilities during visits with Juan and provides the parents and the court with behaviorally specific reports.

Case: Initially, the parents only interact with Juan in situations they are known to be able to handle (their parenting strengths). Slowly, the visits progress to test the parents’ ability to supervise Juan when both the child and the parents are tired, stressed or tempted to relapse to old unsafe behaviors.

A continuum to ensure safety while allowing the most normal family interactions possible.

FACTORS IN MAKING THE DECISION

Age of child (ability of the child to self protect) Type of abuse that the child experienced Parent’s history of family violence Potential for abduction of the child Emotional reactions of the child Where the visit will occur Who will be at the visit Progress parent is making to improve parenting skills Parental issues such as addiction and mental illness

Professional conducts visit to addressclinical needs Sex abuse and extreme forms of other

abuse Parent who is rejecting the child Child who has extreme fear of parent Teaching medical or therapeutic care of

child

Have agreed upon community definitions for the levels of supervision.

Trained person is within sight andsound of child at all times.

Is able to intervene BEFORE the child is harmed.

If the parent. . . Is abusive during visitsShows inappropriate behaviors Has not started treatmentWhen child is. . .Afraid of parent

Supervision to Teach Parenting

skills OR

Supervision to Assess Parenting

SkillsOR

Safety Supervision

Teaching/mentoring visits: Caregivers Relatives Social worker - agency Trained Visit supervisors

Assessment Visits:• Social worker -

agency• Trained supervisor of

visit• A person who can do

therapeutic visitsSafety Supervision:• All of the above and many people in the child’s or

family’s life or professional staff. Willingness and ability to provide safety is essential. Authority to stop a visit early if problems occur that cannot be immediately remedied.

An objective party is involved orlocation provides protection Parent in treatment but has

not completed his/her program

Child expressing discomfortabout being left alone

Parent consistently met standards during supervised visits

No or limited controls needed Parent has consistently met standards

during observed visits Parent has made progress in treatment

program and/or has a relapse plan Child has a safety plan Unplanned drop-ins might occur

In a given week a parent might have a mix of visits A visit at the child’s school to talk to the teacher

about school progress (observed by teacher) Attending the child’s ballgame and watching from

the stands (observed by coach or no formal supervision)

Attends Sunday church service with grandparent and has time with parent with other adults present (supervised by grandparent)

Teaching visit with parent and child regarding how to discipline the child (therapeutic)

Nightly phone calls by child from foster home (supervised or not by foster parent)

All families have a culture Children cannot be raised in a culturally neutral

manner Cultural Humility guides us to know that there are

many different and successful ways to raise a child Ask the family about their culture and family

values

What is something that can be done by a parent on a visit to teach a child their family’s culture?

What would you suggest for Juan, his family and community?

Children who cannot visit or live with their parents should have contact with their cultural group

Native American children should have tribal representatives involved in connection planning

Place children with relatives or with a family of the same cultural group

Place children in same neighborhoodMaintain a child’s religious connectionWhatever was working for the child before

should be maintainedCaregivers should make adjustments not the

child

Connection to other family ,members, friends, community, school, culture

Siblings: If Juan had a sibling they might be placed together but less likely if there is a large age difference or if is a sister. Siblings are frequently not provided visits or other connection activities outside of parent/child visits. Caregivers are not required to help maintain the siblings connections.

Juan is placed in a new school close to his foster parent’s home. He loses contact with school friends and teachers.

The child’s connections to his culture and community are not a priority for professionals or caregivers.

Siblings: The agency would work to find a family who would take all the siblings. They do not stop searching just because the children are stable in their first placement.When siblings are not living together they are provided activities outside of parent/child visits to maintain their attachment. Caregiver’s ability to maintain sibling connection is assessed when making the placement decision.

Juan is maintained in his current school at least through the end of that school year. School stability is on factor in selecting the caregiver.

At family team meetings the team develops a connection plan that enhances the child’s cultural and community connections.

Page 6

These children have the need and right to visit their parents.

Visits should not be limited, restricted or non-existent just because of the parent’s living situation.

Children need to maintain and/or resolve their relationship with this parent, even if the parent will be in prison for years or may never be able to live with the child.

You can help make visit and contact more effective with planning.

Parent is incarcerated, missing or in residential treatment

Child and parent are usually offered no visits or very rarely have face‐to‐face contact.

Fathers and other missing relatives are not located or if known not offered as many contacts as the mother.

All relatives are located within 30 days, engaged in family team meetings, offered right to have visits or become caregiver of the child.

Child’s rights and needs guide decisions rather than whether we feel the parent deserves the visits.

What would you say about the child’s needs and rights if there was no crime or addiction?

Do you provide as many services and visits to

fathers, or make reasonable efforts to find and engage fathers and

their family?

Page 9

Addict is triggered

Addict has warning behaviors

Addict takes drug

Addict responds to drug

The parent fails a drug test.

OR

The parent comes to a visit and is possibly intoxicated.

Standard visit rules include “Parent cannot be intoxicated during a visit.” Parental relapse plans are not used in visit planning.

Supervisor of visit may not be told of the specific behaviors that indicate that the relapse process has begun.

Professionals believe and act on the theory that even one relapse shows that recovery cannot occur. Recovery is assumed to equate to safe parenting rather than improved parental capacities.

Agency or court establishes a rule that the parent must pass a set number of random drug tests before visits can begin again. OR parent must pass drug test before each visit.

Addiction professional and family work with agency to use the parent’s relapse plan to develop specific guidelines for visits with Juan.

Supervisor of visit knows about the parent’s specific drug addiction, possible triggers and behaviors the parent demonstrates during the relapse process.

Professionals view relapse as a normal part of the recovery process. They work with the addiction treatment professional to determine what this relapse incident means for a parent.

Drug testing is primarily used by the addiction professional as prescribed by their program, not as a visit litmus test.

Pages 10-11

Addict is triggered

Addict has warning signs

Addict takes drug

Addict responds to drug

Identify and avoid triggers

Everyone knows and responds

Success1. Child’s safety

is ensured2. Addict gets

help to avoid taking drug

Have a visit plan that specifically addresses what is allowed and not allowed.

List behaviors that are unsafe or not allowed

State the process of what will occur if parent violates visit rules

Safety plan Relapse plan

resources for the addicted parent to call for help at any time

resources for an older child to call for help if the parent is not providing safe care

family and community members who regularly check on the well-being of the parent and child

The level of supervision is related to safety and NOT to the progress of drug treatment!

Parents who are sober and/or have completed drug treatment but who cannot maintain safe parenting during visits should NOT be allowed to have their visits progress towards reunification.

Recovery can occur without formal addiction treatment.

Parents who have not completed treatment but consistently maintain sobriety should not bedenied a chance to reunify.

Visits are NEVER to be used as a reward or punishment for the parent or the child. Research shows that doing this does not lead to parents

attending treatment. Children will get the message that relationships are based on

having good behaviors and thereby are conditional.

This includes things like the following: If you are clean and sober, then you get to have a visit. If you follow the rules of the house, you get to have a visit. When you complete your treatment, you will get to have more

visits. If you make your husband move out of the house, then you can

have unsupervised visits.

Visit plans are based on behaviors AT the visit!

Questions and Suggestions

• What is working well in Michigan to ensure children maintain and enhance their connections?

• What worries you about visit/connection practices in your community?

• What suggestions do you have to share with each other?

• Questions

Visit Resources

Information Gateway – www.childwelfare.gov

National Resource Center for Family Centered Practice and Permanency Planning –www.nrcfcppp.org

CA Clearinghouse on Evidence Based Practices

http://www.cachildwelfareclearinghouse.org/

www.WentzTraining.com

• Thank you for dedication to children and families

• Rose @WentzTraining.com

• 206 579‐8615

Remember to first develop visit plans based on what the child wants and needs.

Copyright Rose Wentz [email protected] October 3, 2012 1

Comparison of Current Visit Practices to Progressive Visit/Connection Planning Practices By Rose Marie Wentz, MPA

October, 2012

This is an example of how progressive visits and family connections practices can be more successful integrated into the child welfare

practice model. This typical neglect case illustrates how current visit approaches often miss opportunities of using visits and family

connections to support best practice at each step of the case. The case example is not intended to be used as an answer to actual cases

as there are always other factors involved in cases that cannot be fully addressed in a case study.

Referral: Juan is a 2-year-old child who lives with his father and mother. A neighbor called the local child protective services hotline

and reported that the Juan is continually unsupervised and is frequently injured. A child protective services worker investigated the

family and learned that the family lives in temporary housing and both parents are unemployed. The father appeared to be intoxicated

when a child protective services worker interviewed him. The family is Mexican/American and moved to the US ten years ago.

Events in case Common practices Progressive visit and Connection practices

Initial investigation

Juan fell down stairs in his

home. He has a broken leg.

Medical reports indicate

other injuries in past 6

months; all are possible

accidental injuries yet the

pattern of accidents is of

concern.

Placed in with a foster family unknown to

Juan.

The caregivers’ ability or willingness to

support contact from first day is not assessed.

Juan has no contact with anyone he knows for

3 days.

Juan is placed with someone he knows and who will

support contact from the first day of placement.

Parents help pack personal items that will help Juan’s

transition easier.

Juan has a phone call to his parents on the first night

in care.

Juan has his first face-to-face visit within 48 hours.

Investigation of the

maltreatment is

conducted.

Parenting capabilities and contributing factors

are not assessed and/or assumptions made.

Example: If a parent has a drug problem that

must be why the maltreatment occurred and

thereby the service needed is drug treatment.

Parents and Juan are not provided visits in the

family home to see how the family normally

Agency uses visit observation and services to

complete an assessment of parenting capabilities and

contributing factors.

During some of the early visits the worker observes

the family in their home (or a home like environment

if that is not possible) to assess their ability to

supervise Juan.



functions and how the home environment and

interrelationship among the family members

impact their parenting capabilities.

Family members or others who have observed

the parents’ capabilities are not contacted or

asked for their assessment of the parents and

the maltreatment.

Parents are asked questions to determine their

parenting capabilities (strengths and needs) and what

may have caused the lack of supervision and injuries.

Their home is observed to determine if there are

environmental issues that contributed to the

maltreatment.

Family/friends provide information on the parenting

capabilities they have observed.

Juan case possibilities include:

1. Parent(s) when intoxicated do not supervise the

child.

2. Parents do not understand how to supervise a child

of this age.

3. Parents are working “unofficial jobs” and are

working such long hours they fall asleep when

supervising the child.

4. The house has no child safety locks and other

hazards.

First visits Occurs in the agency’s office.

The agency visit room may not have home

like environment or have toys, food or other

items that helps Juan feel at home. Worker

assumes office visit provides safety and home

visit would be unsafe.

Visit planning is done to meet the scheduling

needs of the professionals.

Little or no preparation of the parents, Juan or

caregivers on how to handle the stress, grief

and loss that often occur during first visits.

Visits occur in a place the child feels comfortable and

the worker determines what provides enough safety.

For Juan this is likely to be his home (minimal risk of

parents being dangerous to worker or child in this

case) or if he was placed with someone he knows in

that home.

Juan’ needs are the priority and the schedule is set to

minimize disruption to his day.

Everyone is prepared for visit by worker. Boundaries

or guidelines are established and parents given

approaches that will enable a successful visit and

minimize extreme emotions or reactions.



Agency requests court

ordered services:

Typical services for this

case could include:

Parenting classes

Drug evaluation and

treatment

Housing and

employment

Medical exam for Juan

Visits are not viewed as a service and

planning for first visits occur without family

input. Court does not review visit/connection

plans at court hearings.

Parents are sent to agencies the state/county

frequently uses to obtain services for

parenting and drug treatment. Parents may be

placed on waiting list to obtain services. Little

information about the family situation is sent

to the service providers.

Family input as to what services would be

useful and if services are culturally

appropriate is not discussed.

No referrals for housing or employment are

made. It is assumed the parents will do this on

their own.

Juan is taken by foster parent to her doctor

who does not know Juan.

Agency includes visits with parents and other family

members on the list of ordered services. Visit planning

with the family begins the day of removal and

continues during MiTEAM meetings.

Visit/Connection plans are reviewed at each court

hearing.

Parents are referred to evidenced based parenting and

drug assessment programs. The program staff is fully

informed of the situation and need to determine if a

deficit exists and if it may be a contributing factor to

the maltreatment. Parents have immediate access to

these services.

Services are chosen after an assessment and are based

on the parents’ needs such as location, when services

are available and language.

Parents are referred to housing and employment

services that have ability to meet their needs.

Parents identify Juan’s doctor and medical history.

Juan is taken by parents and caregiver to doctor for

exam.

Behaviorally specific

parenting capabilities

related to the

maltreatment and that

are necessary for

reunification are

identified.

No specific parenting capabilities are

identified.

OR

Parents are given list of general behaviors,

most are stated in the negative, may not be

related to the maltreatment and are not

measurable; the list is often generated by the

agencies case planning computer system.

Example:

Using the information from direct observation,

professional assessment and the family, during

MiTEAM meetings they develop measurable

capabilities the parents and their support system must

consistently demonstrate in order for reunification to

occur.

For Juan’s case the following was developed:

Parents will ensure that a capable, sober person is

supervising Juan at all times. This includes being



Do not leave your child unsupervised

Do not use drugs

Do not hit your child

Have a safe home environment

Visits are not planned to address any specific

parenting capabilities related to the

maltreatment. Support system is not

evaluated.

Visits remain static; usually in length,

frequency, location and level of supervision.

Little of no parenting skills are taught,

mentored or assessed.

Successful visits are determined based on

parenting capabilities not specific to

maltreatment: provided a healthy snack, Juan

was not upset on the visit, did not respond to

Juan when he asked “When can I could come

home?”

A reaction or problem on a visit leads to visits

being stopped.

within sight or sound distance of him even when he is

asleep.

Parents will fix their home or find new housing that

addresses the following items: doors to outside can be

locked in a manner that Juan cannot open doors and

access to stairs both up and down is secured so he

cannot use the stairs unattended.

Parents will ask family member XX to care for Juan

when they are tired or need a break.

Prior to any drug use (legal or illegal) the parent will

have friend Y pick up Juan and care for him until the

parents are capable of meeting his needs.

Visits are planned to teach, model, practice and

eventually evaluate whether the parents and their

support system can meet the measureable capabilities.

Visits slowly and progressively move towards more

difficult situations, times and location to test whether

parents and their support system can maintain the

measurable standards that lead to safety. Parents are

mentored by professionals and family members.

Successful visits are determined based on the parents

practicing and making progress on specific

capabilities related to the maltreatment. Parents are

given specific feedback regarding their progress.

Occasional reactions or problems occur yet the family

is able to manage and move forward. Visits are not

stopped due to occasional problems.



Relationship between

caregiver and birth

parents.

The agency does not make active efforts to

develop a relationship between the two sets of

parents.

Parents and Caregivers do not talk or see each

other ever or for many months.

There is no coordination of parenting

responsibilities.

The boundary is – No direct contact between

the families. All communication must go

through the agency worker.

Conflicts regarding Juan’s daily life style

cause stress that sometimes requires court

intervention.

Examples: What food Juan should eat, his

sleeping schedule, following directions from

the doctor chosen by the foster parent whom

the birth parents have never met, etc.

Caregiver is not willing to mentor the parent

or have visits in their home.

Agency worker begins, within the first days of

placement, to develop this relationship using an Ice

Breaker meeting1 or MiTEAM meetings where the

parents are asked to share their story, strengths and

concerns. At the meeting parents share information on

Juan’s daily care, likes, dislikes, what calms him, etc.

All agree on the type of contacts that can occur

outside of face-to face-visits. Details are worked out

in MiTEAM meetings.

There is a clear agreement on how different parenting

responsibilities will be divided (decisions on school,

medical, religion, etc.) and boundaries/guidelines are

established. Based on the contact agreement parents

and caregivers may share information on Juan’s daily

care without agency worker as mediator.

Conflicts are handled by caregiver, parents and

agency worker. Caregivers met with birth parents

regularly during the drop off or pick up times for

visits. Information about Juan’s daily life is shared by

all to ensure smooth transitions and reduce possible

conflicts.

Caregivers and parents have developed a relationship

that enables them to agree to mentoring the birth

parents. Some visits occur in the caregiver’s home.

1 Ice Breaker Meetings: A meeting with agency, birth family and caregiver. It is an opportunity for the birth parents to share their knowledge of

their child to help the foster parents do their job. They discuss things such as your child's health, likes and dislikes, hobbies, medical needs, school,

sports, etc. They also have an opportunity to ask the foster parents about themselves, such as who is in their family and what they enjoy doing as a

family. Visit/connection arrangements are also discussed. http://www.nrcpfc.org/webcasts/archives/18/Icebreaker.pdf

http://www.nrcpfc.org/webcasts/archives/18/Icebreaker.pdf



Connection to other

family members, friends,

community, school,

culture

Siblings: If Juan had a sibling they might be

placed together but less likely if there is a

large age difference or if is a sister.

Siblings are frequently not provided visits or

other connection activities outside of

parent/child visits. Caregivers are not

required to help maintain the siblings

connections.

Juan is placed in a new school close to his

foster parent’s home. He loses contact with

school friends and teachers.

The child’s connections to his culture and

community are not a priority for professionals

or caregivers.

Siblings: The agency would work to find a family who

would take all the siblings. They do not stop searching

just because the children are stable in their first

placement.

When siblings are not living together they are

provided activities outside of parent/child visits to

maintain their attachment. Caregiver’s ability to

maintain sibling connection is assessed when making

the placement decision.

Juan is maintained in his current school at least

through the end of that school year. School stability is

on factor in selecting the caregiver.

At family team meetings the team develops a

connection plan that enhances the child’s cultural and

community connections.

Parents have not started

services due to their

failure or failure of the

community to have

services available.

Parents are denied or limited visits until they

begin services.

Child is allowed progressive visits with parents even

though parent has not started services; i.e. length,

frequency and location can continue to progress as

long as the parent demonstrates improved capabilities.

The level of supervision remains high to ensure safety.

Juan’s parents made an

application to the court

requesting permission to

attend a Spanish-

language parenting class

at their church based on

their cultural beliefs.

The child welfare agency opposes the

parents’ request, arguing that only the

services provided by the agency’s contracted

organization would be acceptable.

The agency works with the parents and their church

services. Using the behaviorally specific parenting

capabilities, the worker shares with the staff of the

program what improvements the parents must meet.

The program is asked to respond to their ability to

help the parents with these specific capabilities and

willingness to provide reports on the parents’

progress.



The agency worker only

has enough time on his

workload to do 1 one

hour visit once a week.

Visits are limited based on the worker’s

schedule, limitation of visit rooms,

transportation or other resource issues.

Family, friends, supports and caregivers are used to

supervise visits and help with other connections such

as attending religious, education and medical

activities.

Visit plan is reassessed at

every case review,

MiTEAM meeting, major

case decision points and

every court hearing.

Visits remain static, have very little progress

or changes in visit plans are made at 6 month

reviews. Visits are not regularly reviewed by

agency worker or the court. There is not a

specific plan on how to assess progress and

little information is provided to the parents or

the court.

Juan’s case: The family has office visits and

they are not provided any specific guidance

on what activities to do or not to do that is

based on knowledge of the parents’

capabilities. No progressive plan is used.

Treatment or service professionals are not

asked to share ideas on how to use visits to

support parents’ treatment/program or what

safety issues should be addressed. The parents

are not provided opportunities to practice new

parenting skills as the supervisor of the visit

does not know what is occurring in the

parents’ treatment or specific safety issues.

Visit activities are limited to activities such as

reading to Juan or playing with the toys in the

visit room. Attachment activities are limited

Progress is steadily made over the months to lengthen

the visits, slowly decrease the level of supervision,

and increase the parenting responsibilities to more

difficult situations. The agency worker regularly

assesses the parents’ capabilities during visits with

Juan and provides the parents and the court with

behaviorally specific reports.

Case: Initially, the parents only interact with Juan in

situations they are known to be able to handle (their

parenting strengths). Slowly, the visits progress to test

the parents’ ability to supervise Juan when both the

child and the parents are tired, stressed or tempted to

relapse to old unsafe behaviors.

Treatment or service professionals, as well as the

parents, share what approach is being used so the

parents can practice those approaches during visits.

Supervisor of visit is fully informed of plan and safety

issues.

Juan’s case visit activities: How to supervise a two

year old, what protective steps to implement

according to the parent’s relapse plan, and how one

parent can step in when the other is struggling with

knowing how to handle Juan’s tendency to wonder

away from adults.

Specific activities are planned to ensure attachment is

being enhanced; eating, dressing, playing, teaching



or not planned.

No one is clear how to take the next steps to

increase visits without jeopardizing Juan’s

safety. At court hearings measurable

standards are not available to help the court

determine the appropriate visit plan.

A visit is considered successful if the

supervisor of the visit says no problems

occurred.

Juan new skills, reading, helping him go to sleep,

disciplining, etc.

When the parents have consistently (not perfectly)

demonstrated a specific parenting capability, one of

the visit elements is changed, i.e. length of visit,

frequency, parenting responsibility increased, level of

supervision lowered, etc.

Success is measured by consistency of parents on

identified skills and small progressive steps are

regularly taken.

Juan’s family belongs to a

church and wants him to

attend their church.

The caregiver is asked to bring Juan to his

parent’s church but as that interferes with the

caregiver’s religious activities she declines to

do this and takes Juan to her church.

OR Worker does not ask caregiver and says

to parents that this cannot happen as there are

not the resources to transport and supervise

Juan on the weekends.

Worker asks family support system if they can

transport and supervise Juan during church activities.

A plan is developed to ensure Juan is supervised

appropriately at all times.

Juan needs ongoing

medical or therapeutic

care.

OR

Juan needs special

educational services.

Caregiver is asked to take Juan to all of his

appointments and perform any necessary in-

home therapy.

The parents are informed of the

medical/educational decisions but not

included in decision making. Visits are set up

to limit the need for the parents to provide the

necessary in-home therapy as they have not

been taught what is required.

The parents attend medical appointments and work

with caregivers and the medical professionals to

develop a treatment plan.

At Family meetings Juan’s needs are regular discussed

and agreements made on everyone’s specific

responsibilities. The parents, on visits, are responsible

to provide any necessary in-home therapy. The

specific medical/educational therapy is added to the

list of parenting capabilities required for reunification.

Instructions are provided to the parents to learn the

therapy.



Parent shows up late,

parent does not follow

one of the rules of visits

or Juan is upset after a

visit.

Parent is denied a visit if late even if child is

still at the visit location.

Visits are cancelled for at least a short time.

Or for parents that have made some progress

towards longer or more frequent the visits, the

plan reverts to the first visit plan; i.e. one hour

per week, supervised visits in the agency’s

office.

Juan’s need for consistency in his life and

contact with his parent is not a top

consideration in changing visit plans. The

only option to visit problems is to stop visits.

Juan is not told why visits stopped. Negative

behaviors by Juan are assumed to be “caused”

by actions of the parents and the appropriate

solution is to stop visits.

Parents and Juan are allowed to have that visit until

the established end time, if late. Chronic lateness is

handled in family meeting to minimize trauma to

Juan.

Visits are not cancelled and issues are addressed

immediately in family meetings. The visit plan is

adjusted to address the problem and/or the visit plan

reverts to the last successful visit level rather than

going back to the first visit plan.

Juan’s needs are top consideration when making any

changes to the visit/connection plan. When making

changes, one option considered is that it is possible

that having MORE visits may help rather than

assuming the only solution is less visits.

All the adults talk to Juan to help him understand the

changes. Juan is helped to understand that he is not at

fault when changes are made. The team works

together identify what is causing problems.

Parent is incarcerated,

missing or in residential

treatment

Child and parent are usually offered no visits

or very rarely have face-to-face contact.

Fathers and other missing relatives are not

located or if known not offered as many

contacts as the mother.

All relatives are located within 30 days, engaged in

family team meetings, offered right to have visits or

become caregiver of the child.

Child’s rights and needs guide decisions rather than

whether we feel the parent deserves the visits.

Parent is making

progress in his drug

treatment but is not

improving parenting

Focus is on service completion by the parents.

Both parents are told to continue their

services/treatments. There is no assessment of

why progress is being made in one area and

The family team meeting reviews why progress is not

being made in both areas. They consider whether the

parent is in the correct service/treatment.

Progressive Visit model is based on the idea that if the



capabilities during visits.

OR

Parent is making

progress in parenting

skills during visits but not

attending parenting

program.

not the other and if there needs to be a change

in services or visit plans.

The visit plan does not change or may be

stopped if a parent fails to engage in services.

Visits are not used as a way of determining

improved parental capabilities.

correct services/treatments are being provided there

should be progress in both services and visits; i.e.

parents should not be court ordered to attend services

that are not focused to improve specified parental

capabilities related to the maltreatment.

Visits are only “stepped back” if the child is being

harmed or traumatized by his parent’s behaviors

during visits. The visit plan is progressively changed

to determine if that will improve parenting

capabilities.

The parent fails a drug

test.

OR

The parent comes to a

visit and is possibly

intoxicated.

Standard visit rules include “Parent cannot be

intoxicated during a visit.” Parental relapse

plans2 are not used in visit planning.

Supervisor of visit may not be told of the

specific behaviors that indicate that the

relapse process has begun.

If the supervisor of visit believes that the

parent is intoxicated, the visits are suspended

often until there can be court review of the

relapse. There is no flexibility for the

supervisor of the visit to allow the visit to

continue when there are any signs of drug use

even if the parent is demonstrating an ability

to be appropriate with their child.

Addiction professional and family work with agency

to use the parent’s relapse plan to develop specific

guidelines for visits with Juan.

Supervisor of visit knows about the parent’s specific

drug addiction, possible triggers and behaviors the

parent demonstrates during the relapse process.

Supervisor of visit has authority to decide if visit can

continue or not. Supervisor of the visit has the

authority and skills to intervene WHENEVER there

are parent/child interactions that would cause the child

to be traumatized or re-abused. When the supervisor

sees triggers or relapse behaviors she has a private

conversation with parent to determine if the visit can

continue.

2Relapse Plan: A plan that is developed with the drug treatment professional that covers the addicted parent’s triggers--internal or external events

(not always observable to others), warning signs--observable: thoughts, speeches, and behaviors, who is in position to notice these signs (family,

therapist, child welfare worker, co-workers), and aftercare service plan. It is shared with all the people who are supporting the addicted parent

and those responsible to keep the child safe. http://www.kap.samhsa.gov/products/manuals/taps/19c.htm

http://www.kap.samhsa.gov/products/manuals/taps/19c.htm



Agency worker stops visits until parent is

sober and is back in treatment. Court review

may occur. Visits go back to first visit plan

level.

Professionals believe and act on the theory

that even one relapse shows that recovery

cannot occur. Recovery is assumed to equate

to safe parenting rather than improved

parental capacities.

Agency or court establishes a rule that the

parent must pass a set number of random drug

tests before visits can begin again.

OR parent must pass drug test before each

visit.

Case: After a relapse by Juan’s father the

visits with reduced in length and frequency

until the father passes 3 random UA’s. The

worker believes that the father would only be

dangerous if he has taken the drug and does

not keep within sight and sound distance if he

passed the UA.

A family team meeting will occur to determine if visit

rules must be changed. Visits can continue without a

court review unless there are repeated incidents. Level

of supervision must remain high after an incident.

Professionals view relapse as a normal part of the

recovery process. They work with the addiction

treatment professional to determine what this relapse

incident means for a parent. Recovery is an important

part of the case plan but the focus is on the family’s

support system abilities to maintain Juan’s safety even

when the parent is struggling with recovery is the

primary focus.

Drug testing is primarily used by the addiction

professional as prescribed by their program, not as a

visit litmus test.

Case: All the professionals and family members

understand that Juan’s father can be dangerous even

when sober or he could fake a drug test so they

maintain an appropriate level of supervision until the

family demonstrates an ability to keep Juan safe in all

circumstances.

Permanency Planning

Hearing to determine

final permanency plan for

Juan

Substantial progress and reasonable efforts

are measured by the birth parents’ completion

of court ordered services. Visits are not

considered reasonable effort services.

Substantial progress is measured by the identified

parental capabilities related to the maltreatment. Visits

are considered part of the reasonable efforts and

reviewed as court hearings.



Essential questions:

Did the family make

substantial progress?

Did the agency provide

reasonable/active effort

services to enable the

family to make progress?

Case: Juan’s parents have

completed some of the

court ordered services but

not all of them. Juan’s

father has relapsed more

than once and restarted

drug treatment 3 times.

Case: Visits were reduced or stopped each

time Juan’s father relapsed. When he was in

an in-patient program he had no visits with

Juan.

Juan’s attachment to his parents is lessened as

his father has had very limited visits or

contacts in the last 4 months. Juan and his

mother continue to have weekly visits but

slowly things become difficult as Juan talks

about his “new mom” during visits and his

birth mother becomes upset. There have been

conflicts between the birth parents and

caregivers about how to raise Juan. There are

not visits with the extended family and Juan.

Juan attaches to his caregivers. Attachment is

viewed an activity a child can only have with

one family i.e., either Juan is attached to his

birth parents or his caregivers. The agency

presents evidence, at the hearing, that Juan is

more attached to caregiver rather than birth

parents and that the parent has failed drug

tests and has not completed drug treatment.

The parents’ attorney presents that the

agency did not provide adequate visits to

enable the enhancement of attachment and

was not willing to provide culturally

appropriate reasonable effort services that

enabled the parents to improve their parenting

capabilities thereby they should be provided

Case: Progressive visits continue even when father

relapsed or had not completing all services. The visits

were only stopped if the parents are harming Juan on

visits.

Juan’s attachment to his parents, extended family,

culture and caregivers is supported by all. On visits

the father is provided mentoring on how to parent

Juan by his uncle. The parents, caregivers and agency

worker meet regularly to discuss Juan’s needs

including how Juan is forming attachments to two sets

of parents. They discuss their fears regarding Juan’s

future and differences of ideas on how to parent Juan.

The goal is to continue visit progression until either

Juan is slowly transitioned back home or the next visit

step cannot occur. If after repeated efforts to help the

parent make the next step in progressive visits and the

parent’s capabilities do not improve, the agency

recommends the alternative permanent plan (adoption

to caregiver for Juan) to the court.

Reunification example: Juan’s family support network

has successfully met the needs of Juan and his parents.

Juan’s father has been challenged by his addiction

cycle and took his drug on two occasions. Both times,

the relapse plan worked. Juan’s father called his

Alcoholics Anonymous sponsor and Juan’s mother

removed Juan from his father’s supervision and went

to her mother’s home. The family network plans to

continue to call and drop by the home to ensure the

relapse and safety plans are working.



more time to make substantial progress.

Whether the court orders ongoing reasonable

efforts and eventually reunification occurs or

termination of parental rights, Juan is unlikely

to be supported to have ongoing emotional

connection with both families.

Adoption example: Juan’s father relapsed two times.

Each time the father and mother did not implement the

relapse plan. Juan was left unsupervised but was not

harmed. The parents were provided additional

mentoring and a new drug treatment plan that they

choose as being culturally appropriate. Each time the

visits reached a point where the parents had evening

visits, some incident occurred. It was not possible to

safely progress visits beyond that point.

For either permanent plan: Juan is actively helped to

maintain a safe attachment to his parents, extended

family and caregivers.

Post Permanency contact

plans: What happens in

the future years after the

agency and court close

the case.

Reunification with birth

parents

OR

Adoption or guardianship

by caregiver (relative or

non-related)

Reunification: All hope that the parents and

their support system will continue to keep

Juan safe. No formal plan has been developed

or tested to determine how the system will

operate especially if there is a relapse in

abusive behaviors.

After reunification or adoption Juan has little

or no contact with the family he no longer

lives with. This includes people, pets,

routines, relatives, belongings, etc. Juan is left

to grieve his loss alone as adults assume he is

not or should not be attached to the other

family.

After years of yearning to see his other

family, Juan secretly begins to search for that

family (birth or caregiver). Being caught in a

loyalty bind, he does not tell adults about his

Reunification: The family system has been tested

proven to work during the visits. The family has a

specific plan on how to protect Juan if relapse of

parental behaviors occurs.

The two families have developed a relationship and

with help from the worker they agree to the

appropriate level of contact with the other family and

all the people and things that are important to him.

Juan is able to ask questions and openly grieve for any

losses that must occur (adults work hard to minimize

losses through contacts, keeping him in the same

school, life story books, etc.)

The families are able to communicate without the

worker and continue to adapt over the years the level

of contact based on the changes and developmental

needs of Juan.

The adults help Juan understand how his history and



emotions, questions or actions. Juan is likely

to find the other family and have contact. If

safety or emotional issues exist, the adults do

not know that he needs help.

Juan develops behavior problems when he is

a teenager. His family does not recognize that

there could be a relationship with the trauma

he experienced as a toddler or his unresolved

grief and loss. They believe he does not

remember what happened to him as he was

only two years old when this occurred. If

therapy is sought, the family may not share

Juan’s history and as Juan does not have

cognitive memories of the events the therapist

is limited in her ability to help Juan. Juan may

make decisions that could lead to emotional

or physical danger or place himself in danger

when contacting family members from his

past.

families impacted his development as a young child.

They help him explore his emotions and questions.

They help him determine how to make contact which

may include therapy and supporting supervised visits.

If therapy is needed, Juan and his family have a

complete story of what occurred that they share with

the therapist. Juan is not left alone to handle issues or

placed in the loyalty bind of being expected to love

only one family.

Juan continues to have times that the trauma, grief and

loss he experienced, negatively impacts his life. All of

his family members and support system help him to

develop the ability to understand why he has these

reactions and develop successful methods of self-care.


© Rose Wentz, June 2009, 206 579-8615 [email protected] 1


INFA

NT

Infants’ cognitive limitations greatly increase their experience of stress.

Infants will be extremely distressed by changes in the environment and caregivers.

Expect the infant to show stress in bodily functions such as eating, sleeping and being “fussy”.

Help parent understand why infant may be distressed. Infants should have people they “know” help with all

transitions from one caregiver to another. Do not force an infant to eat or sleep during a visit. Have caregiver and parent share information with each other

on the infant shows stress and how to comfort child.

Drug exposed infants Hard to comfort, feed and may not want to be held.

Meet infant’s needs before visit. Teach parent how to understand needs and respond to infant.

Infants have few internal

coping skills. Infants do not generally

turn to others for help and support. It needs to be provided.

Adults must “cope” for them. Infants who have too many changes

will be impacted at a higher level

Give the infant items that bring her comfort such as a blanket or stuffed animal.

Do bonding activities on visits. Allow infant to choose who or what they want to be

comforted by. Praise parent who is able to allow others to comfort their infant.

Infants experience the absence of caregivers immediately.

Infants will forget people who are absent from their life.

Infants may cling to new caregiver and refuse to go to parent.

Infants need multiple contacts each week to maintain an active memory of a person and to attach to that person.

Inform parent of this normal behavior. Have visit as soon as possible after placement Use voice recordings, phone calls, & pictures to keep memory

active. Always say good-bye – do not let parents disappear hoping

that will not upset the infant. Do visits/contacts several times a week and encourage the

birth parent to “provide care” for the infant during a visit so attachment is maintained.

Separation during the first year can interfere with the development of trust.

Expect that a healthy infant will attach to his caregiver and that will help with the child continuing his developmental tasks.

Let parent know that attachment to caregiver does NOT interfere with attachment to birth parent.

Praise the parent for supporting the infant’s developmental need to attach.

Attachment is essential for the infant to live and develop.

Infants can attach to more than one caregiver.

Minimize the number of changes in caregivers that an infant has.




INFA

NT

Consistency and schedules are critical for an infant’s development.

Infants’ distress will be lessened if their new environment can be made consistent with the old one.

Keep the child on the same food, schedule and other routines – changes should occur slowly.

Follow a regular schedule – preferably the infant’s.

Infants miss the parent even if that parent was inconsistent before separation (incarceration) and they have no cognitive memory of that parent.

Even children adopted at birth want to have contact with their parents.

Birth family is always a part of who a child/adult is.

Infants need visits even when they have not had a prior relationship or cannot remember their parent.

Ensure infant has contact with birth family; including siblings and extended family.

Infant’s developmental changes can occur weekly.

Parents may not recognize the infant’s changes or act as if the infant has not changed.

Inform parent of the changes. Teach parent how to adapt to new skills of the infant.

TO

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Typical reactions by toddlers: fear, regression, fantasy, guilt, bewilderment, change in level of aggression, generalized emotional neediness, inability to enjoy play or using play to recreate the family.

Toddler will test their “new world” to try and understand how it works.

Toddler behaviors that some find hard to handle will increase after being traumatized.

Workers, caregivers and parents often want to blame someone or interpret the behaviors as related to things besides the separation, i.e. XXX must not be a good parent of the child.

Expect to toddler to show behavioral signs of trauma and loss.

Do not blame adults or shame the toddler. Provide structure, rules, consistency and stability for the

toddler – minimize how many changes the toddler must have – make changes slowly

Reassure the toddler that she is loved. Control behaviors that can cause harm to the toddler or

others but do not overreact.

The toddler needs dependable adults to help him/her cope.

Child can turn to relative, substitute caregivers or a known and trusted worker for help and support during the placement process.

Early & regular contact with parent or other who the toddler has emotional ties.

Do bonding activities. Place siblings together and/or provide time for them to

comfort each other. Provide toddler with his favorite comfort item.

The toddler is likely to have an inaccurate and distorted perception of the placement experience.

Toddler may make up stories about abuse, what occurred, why it occurred, what is happening to him in care, etc. This can appear to be lying to others.

Discuss reality and fantasy with the child. Do not punish child for “telling lies”.



Issue/Developmental Behaviors/Impact Visit planning strategies See people on extremes of

all good or all bad Toddler may fear new caregiver or

environment. Assure toddler he is safe with caregivers. Inform parents and caregivers of these issues so they do not

overreact to things he may tell them, e.g. “My new mommy is mean to me.”

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Any placement of more than a few weeks is experienced as permanent.

Without visits, the child may assume parents to be gone, dead or not coming back.

A toddler can complete the grief and loss cycle in a few weeks. A toddler believes what they see and experience and not what they are told.

Do frequent visits, if not possible, have pictures, talk about the absent parent or have phone calls or audio tapes.

Prepare the parent for the toddler’s behavior and lack of memory if visits have not occurred regularly.

Give the toddler a chance to remember or reestablish a connection with the parent at the beginning of a visit.

The toddler will often view separation and placement as a punishment for ‘bad’ behavior.

Toddler will cling to her own explanation for the placement.

Self-blame increases anxiety and lowers self-esteem.

Toddler may believe if she repeats the bad behavior, which she believes caused the placement, the new family will send her home.

Explain, in simple language, that the adults are responsible and will fix the problem. May need to repeat this information multiple times

Help parent learn how to explain what happened in a way that will not increase the toddler’s belief that she is responsible.

Let toddler know that her being good or bad will not change things such as where she is placed, when she gets to go home, etc. Try to avoid replacing the toddler and stating to the toddler that she caused the change due to her behavior.

Because the toddler cannot generalize experiences from one situation to another, all new situations are unknown and therefore, more threatening.

Even what appears to be a small change to adults can be a new trauma to the toddler, i.e. changing beds at the home, change in caregivers, or changes of when visits occur.

Prepare child for any changes, new experiences and what will happen “next”. “Today is a special day so you will see your dad at lunch but not at bedtime.”

Have a schedule and keep it unless there is no other choice. Have toddler practice things ahead of the event, i.e. going

through screening at the jail, bed time routine, riding to jail.



Issue/Developmental Behaviors/Impact Visit planning strategies Want to please their parents

and adults they are attached to.

Confused when given mixed messages about which parent he can trust or love.

Will act different with different parents in response to trying to please that person.

Give child clear boundaries and messages. Do not ask the child to choose between parents. No bad talk about the other parent. Each adult be consistent in his/her messages. Child is able to

respond to differences among adults.

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The toddler will display considerable anxiety about the new home.

Toddler may express anxiety through behaviors and bodily functions.

Most often, while verbal reassurances are helpful, the child needs to experience the environment to feel comfortable in it.

Help the parent (or someone the toddler trusts) comfort the toddler and address her anxieties.

Let the child know that it is OK to have feelings and that you want to know what they are.

Teach child safe ways to express emotions; crying, hitting a pillow, quite time, cuddling, etc.

Use games to teach the child about the new home and family. Allow the child to have comfort items such as blankets, toys,

or pacifier. This is not the time to ask a toddler to give up comfort items

Placement, without proper preparation, may generate feelings of helplessness and loss of control, which may interfere with the development of autonomous behavior.

The toddler will revert to infant like behaviors; wanting their bottle, asking to be feed, wetting their pants or bed, etc.

They may become whiney and clinging to any adult who shows affection

Expect this behavior; do not take it “personally” when a child acts out his feelings. Inform parent of changes in behaviors or skills.

Allow the behaviors without comment during the transition time. When the toddler is more secure slowly work towards regaining these developmental skills. Often the toddler will do this on his own once he feels secure.

Allow the toddler time to be clinging – may need to start the goodbye part of the visit early so there is enough time.

Practice how to say goodbye with the toddler, i.e. you will have X number of kisses and hugs.

Make sure people the toddler is attached to say goodbye before they leave. Do not “disappear” or sneak out.



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The child may wonder how the necessities of life (food, toys, etc.) will be provided.

This feeling can lead to overeating, begging or manipulation.

Child may refuse to let go of an item.

Reassure the child that her needs will be met. Do not try remove comfort item from child unless necessary. Most behaviors are temporary and will go away once the child

feels secure so do not overreact.

The child needs dependable adults to help him cope.

Child can turn to a relative, substitute caregivers or a known and trusted worker for help and support.

Visits should always include at least one person the child trusts.

Prepare parent if the child does not currently trust/remember the parent.

Regular contact is necessary to build trust and maintain memories.

The preschool child is likely to have an inaccurate and distorted perception of the placement experience.

Magical thinking can cause them to make up stories about their parent or their situation.

Look for clues the child has fantasies and talk to the child about the fantasies such as; feelings the pain, of sorrow, of being responsible for the situation.

Try to explain when things will occur in a manner the child will understand. Do not wait for the child to ask for the information.

Do not treat child’s perception/magical thinking as a lie. Do not avoid talking about a traumatic placement or event

in the hopes that the child will forget the event. Use books and stories to help the child understand what is

real. Ask the child to tell you her “story” about what happened. Drawing or playing is a way for the child to share her

perceptions.

They may believe they are responsible for their parent being in jail, getting a divorce or why family violence occurred.

Self blaming can be shown through regression in behaviors or skills such as bed wetting, trouble sleeping, developing fears (monster in the closet), nightmares and toddler like tantrums.

Inform the parent of the child’s behaviors or belief that she caused the parent’s arrest.

Parent and others to give clear message the child is NOT responsible. Especially important if the child did something like call the police.



Any placement of more than a month is experienced as permanent.

Without visits, the child may assume parents to be gone, dead or not coming back.

Child does not understand time periods such as six months or two years.

Child may “forget” many things about birth family within a short time. (Short term cognitive memory but child usually has a long term subconscious memory of that parent.)

Child will go through grief and loss cycle quickly. Expect changes in behaviors such as denial, anger, and bargaining.

Child may try to bargain (not always stated out loud). If I am good can I go home?

Child may not know how to express emotions or fears expressing emotions.

Ensure that the child has immediate contact after placement and frequent visits thereafter.

Pictures and phone calls can help supplement visits. Talk to the child about the next visit but do not try to explain

things that may take months or years to occur. Do not deny visits in the hope that the child will adjust faster

to new home if there is no contact. Address the child’s need for love and stability NOW. Prepare parent for child’s lack of memory if the visits do not

occur regularly. Give the child time to reestablish a relationship with a parent

he has not seen in weeks or months. Child’s anger at parent may be related to anger phase of

grief/loss cycle or shows anger to another person. Talk to the child and assure him that he will have a family and

that the adults will work to be sure the child is loved even by family members whom he has not seen for awhile.

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considerable anxiety about the new home/family.

Child may try to do things that make new home be more like parent’s home. This may be seen as not following the rules.

Caregiver should check how the child is doing regularly especially during the first days of placement.

Ask parent about the child’s schedule and home life. Use that information to make things in the caregiver home

mimic the child’s home; food, routines, toys, clothes. Parent asks child about new home and schedule. Encourage

and praise the child for adjusting to his new home. While verbal reassurances are helpful, the child needs to

experience the environment to feel comfortable in it. Make changes slowly. Provide clear and simple rules to the

child to follow.



Child may say things to be in control or express anger that upset others: (not unusual for normal child/parent interactions for this age)

“I hate you, you’re not my friend, you can’t make me”

Child may have emotions she does not know how to handle.

Prepare parent for these behaviors/emotions. Do not overreact or the child will probably repeat the

statement or behavior. Often occurs when parent is trying to set boundaries.

Continue to enforce boundary/rule. “John, you may not want to be my friend but you cannot hit me.”

Placement, without proper preparation, may generate feelings of helplessness and loss of control, which may interfere with the development of autonomous behavior.

Child is likely to regress on one or more developmental tasks.

Child may refuse to be alone, try to control world, or display symptoms similar to depression.

Child may lack concentration and is not able to enjoy normal activities.

Child needs to know that she has some influence on adults to get her needs met. Child may manipulate, have repeated requests or insist on their own way.

Prepare the parent for this to occur. Expect behavioral changes and emotional reactions; the child

may act out his emotions towards the parent, caregiver or social worker.

Do not take it “personally” but allow the child a safe way to act out the emotions.

Encourage child to do things that have brought him joy in the past. But do not pressure the child.

Allow child to express his emotions and show him that you still love him when he expresses his emotions. He does not have to be perfect to be loved.

Acknowledge child’s emotions and praise him for even small steps he makes towards adjusting to the situation.

Meet the child’s needs. Allow the child control over safe things like what to wear to the visit, which vegetable to eat, etc.

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R Child attaches to new

caregiver or to primarily to one parent and feels loyalty conflicts

Child calls new caregiver mom/dad Child shows signs of confusion about

who is my parent/family Child’s self-esteem is connected to

everyone he considers his family. Adults should talk to each other directly

and never use the child to send messages.

Inform the parent of the child’s behavior and how this is normal and healthy

Parent assures the child that he can love two moms or dads. Do not ask the child to choose between parents. Maintain frequent contacts with all birth parents or past

caregivers. One adult should never talk negatively about another adult

with whom the child is attached. Explain to the child that many children have multiple families

(divorce) and that this is normal.



Child needs to know what happened to parent or what she is doing while away from the child. Especially for parents in jail, hospital or settings away from family home.

Child wonders what their parent’s life is like in jail or hospital. She may ask a lot of questions this is normal for this age.

Child will make up worse stories about parents life if no information is given.

Answer the child’s questions. You may need to repeat the answers.

Do not wait for the child to ask. Provide information about things like where you sleep, what you eat, do children live there, etc.

Draw or take pictures of yourself in jail or where you are now.

Do not share information on difficult things you may experience in jail or hospital.

Child may have emotions

she does not know how to handle.

Child may say things to be in control or express anger that upset others: (not unusual for normal child/parent interactions for this age)

○ “I hate you, you’re not my friend, you can’t make me”

Prepare parent for this behavior. Do not overreact or the child will probably repeat the

statement or behavior. Often occurs when parent is trying to set boundaries.

Continue to enforce boundary/rule. “John, you may not want to be my friend but you cannot hit me.”

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The child will compare one parent to another.

The child may talk about what the “other” parent does or does not do.

Let the parent know that this is normal. Let the child talk about without assuming that he prefers one

person over the other. Never talk negatively about the other parent/caregiver. Don’t push a child to provide information about the other

parent(s).



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The child can develop new

attachments and turn to adults to meet his/her needs.

Child will call caregivers mom and dad.

If given permission, the child may be able to establish relationships with caregivers without feeling disloyal to own parents.

Child may bond with other children who are a part of the new family.

Allow the child to determine what names/titles are used; what to call foster parents, step-parents, other children in the home, etc.

Prepare the parent for this normal reaction and that this shows that the child is healthy and normal.

Adults should give positive support of each other’s role. Disagreements should be handled without placing the child in the middle.

Keep child in contact with caregivers and others in the home when the child moves to another home.

Child will have intense emotions and may not know how to handle them.

Anger, sometimes quite intense, is expressed as both an honest reaction to what is happening to him/her and as an externalizing attempt to cope with his/her pain, sadness, and helplessness.

Allow the child ways to express her emotions in a safe manner.

Let her know it is OK to have these emotions. Parent should admit to things he/she did that lead to the child

having these feelings. Do not be defensive or tell child not to feel that way.

The loss of siblings, peer group and friends may be almost as traumatic as the loss of parents.

Making new friends may be difficult. The child may be embarrassed and self-

conscious about “foster child” status. Children who lose too many

relationships may refuse to form new friendships. Keep siblings together whenever

possible.

When possible allow the child to attend the same school. If not possible, ensure the child can maintain contact with

friends. Encourage the child to make friends but acknowledge to the

child that it is normal to be afraid that this may cause more lose.

Have the child get involved in activities and hobbies. Parents and caregivers work to maintain these connections. Have the child develop a scrapbook to save pictures, letters

and stories of the people in their life.



The child may be confused if the ‘rules’ and expectations in the caregiver’s home are different from what she is used to

The child may not want to ask about the rules or is in shock in the first days and does not remember the rules. The child may feel a need to test the

rules to see what happens.

Caregiver should learn from the child and family about the rules the child had in last home.

Whenever possible maintain those rules. Example: Keep bedtime the same. If change is needed slowly move bed time to meet the rules of the new family.

Be non-judgmental of the rules of the other parent/caregiver Provide clear rules and do not overreact if the child does not

follow all the rules immediately. Give the child some choices, “Would you like to store your

shoes under your bed or in the closet?”

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The child has a better understanding of time. Placements of a few months can be tolerated without affecting attachments.

The child is capable of remembering a parent they have not seen in months or years. The child may be shy when they first

see their parent if contact is not frequent. The child is likely to have emotions

such as fear, angry, disappointment regarding the parent.

Have regular visits and use photographs, letters and phone calls to supplement the contact.

Involve the child in planning the visit. Be sure the visit does not regularly interfere with the child’s

schedule, school attendance or time with peers. Provide parent with information on the child’s life, school

and friends – help the parent have information that can be used to talk to the child

The child has an increased

ability to understand the reasons for the separation.

With help, the child may be able to develop a realistic perception of the situation and avoid unnecessary self-blame. Do not over estimate his ability to fully

understand. Language skills are more advanced

than cognitive and abstract thinking skills.

Give the child honest answers about the situation and the adult’s responsibilities.

Include the child in court hearings or provide him information. Do not assume he does not know or care about court.

Parent and others should answer the child’s questions honestly and as completely as possible.

Do not wait for child to ask the questions.



The child may be worried about family members she does not live with and may demonstrate considerable concern for siblings and parents.

Child may ask questions, be protective of siblings to the point of interfering when adults try to discipline the sibling. Child may be “parentified” in his

behaviors towards siblings or parents.

Ensure frequent contact and when not possible share information so the child is assured of everyone’s safety.

Provide information about the parent’s whereabouts and condition.

Allow for early & regular phone calls to parent or other family members.

Allow child time to adjust and feel secure before trying to change behaviors that are protective of siblings or parent.

Do not force the child to give up parentified behaviors immediately.

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The child may be embarrassed and self-conscious regarding family’s problems and foster care status, which may contribute to low self-esteem.

Child is very aware of being different and may deny or hide the fact that she is a foster child or that parents have divorced. Child may not want to go on visits,

especially if that will make her seem different. Child may want to hide the fact that

her parent is in jail or hospitalized. Severe reactions may include the child

refusing to visit a parent. Child may be taunted by others for

what the parent did (committed a crime). Child may refuse to go to school.

Help the child develop ways to explain her situation to her peers.

Have visits in locations where the child is comfortable, i.e. the child may not want caregivers or parents to attend school events where the child has to explain what is happening to her friends.

Allow the child to not tell others about parents being in jail. The child can benefit from supportive adult intervention, such

as counseling, to help sort through his feelings about the situation.

Talk to the child about how he is doing at school, if he is being taunted or treated badly due to parent’s actions.

Get child to help with the planning of the visit and changes in her life. Allow her some choices and control.

Shaken sense of identity – Who am I? Who is my family?

May delay the child’s development The child may need help resolving

family relationship issues so he can continue to progress.

Inform the parent it is developmentally normal for children in this age to start to “pull” away and not want to be with his parents in public places. This is not an indicator of a lack of attachment.

Share family history or stories to help enhance family connections.

Do not expect child to spend every minute with the parent on longer visits.



Moral lapses are not rare, as the foundation of development of morality (parent) is shaken and the child experiences painful injustices.

This may be evidenced in such behavior as lying and stealing. Aware of concepts of justice, crime and

punishment.

Parents and caregivers should discuss moral development and have consistent expectations and consequences when the child does not meet expectations.

Non-custodial parent should be actively involved in setting expectations, boundaries and enforcing discipline.

Help child to understand why parent is in prison.

Shows stress with symptoms such as headaches and stomach aches.

Child may become ill or say she does not feel well when experiencing stress or to avoid a situation.

All medical issues should be evaluated by a physician. Teach the child methods of handling stress. Track to see if there is a pattern when the child is sick or uses

illness as a way of escaping. Try to get her to discuss what is causing her stress rather than

focusing on the illness.

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Early adolescence is an emotionally and physically chaotic period for all teens.

Any additional stress has the potential of creating “stress overload” and may precipitate crisis.

Teach the youth methods of handling the stress. Do not overreact to outward changes – hair, clothes. Give youth choices in planning visits and changes in his life. Ensure that the youth has at least one trusted adult in his life.

The youth may resist relationships with adults. Dependence upon adults threatens “independence”.

By rejecting adults, the youth deprives self of an important source of coping support.

Allow the youth choices in how the relationship will occur but not whether he should have relationships with adults.

Even youth who state they do not want a relationship have told researchers that they wanted the relationship and feared rejection so acted as if they did not want adult relationships.

Prepare parent for this normal teen behavior.

The youth may deny much of own discomfort and pain, which prevents him/her from constructively coping with those feelings.

Developmental regression, evidenced as choosing younger friends, withdrawing, interrupted school achievement

Teach the youth it is OK to have emotions and how to handle the pain.

Provide emotional support even if this is initially rejected by the teen.

These reactions are usually temporary. Do not overreact.



Separation from parents, especially if the result of family conflict and unruly behavior on the part of the youth, may generate guilt and anxiety.

Denial of emotions, physical illness, eating disorders, depression, suicide, etc.

Acting out behaviors

It is important that ALL the adults who are responsible develop an agreed upon plan to handle the youth’s behavior.

Adults work together with youth to set consistent boundaries and consequences.

Support from parents, adults or therapist is essential.

Identity is an emerging issue; dealing with parents’ shortcomings is difficult. .

Parents may be idealized or shortcomings may be denied.

May see adults as all good or all bad.

Do not take it personally when youth “notices” your shortcomings.

Honest, open discussion of parent’s behaviors. Most helpful if parent initiates this discussion and takes responsibility.

Exploring his/her sexual

identity. Entry into sexual relationships may be

very frightening without the support of a consistent, understanding adult.

Sexual relationship may start earlier for traumatized teens and teen may be susceptible to abuse by others.

Be willing to discuss or provide the youth information about sex, your values and expectations.

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The youth has the capacity to participate in planning and to make suggestions regarding own life.

He my refuse to attend visits. He may act as if he does not care or

want to be involved in planning.

He should be included in developing visit plans. Persistent repeated attempts to engage the youth by parent or

worker can have very positive results. When possible, longer visits with opportunities to learn from

parent (cooking, driving, sports, shopping, etc.) provide normal interaction activities.

Predictable schedules is not as important as allowing the youth choices.

The youth will be mourning the loss of family and home.

Symptoms of mourning may include such things as feelings of emptiness, tearfulness, difficulty concentrating, chronic fatigue, and troublesome dreams.

May choose to join a new family such as a gang.

Talk to the youth about her feelings, refer her to counseling and monitor for suicidal thoughts.

Do not expect teen to quickly bond to new caregiving family or follow new household rules; the teen may see this as denying her birth family or the other parent.



Anger, both as a direct response to disruption and circumstances surrounding it, and to cover feelings of powerlessness, vulnerability, and grief.

Expect withdrawal, both psychological and physical distancing and detachment. Adolescents, because of their greater independence, mobility, and access to resources (e.g. friends, organizations) outside the home, are often able to withdraw from the problems of the home to maintain their equilibrium

Watch out for social and behavioral problems, such as sexual misconduct, truancy, delinquency, substance abuse, eating disorders and gang activity.

Encourage the youth to be involved with friends and activities that bring her joy.

Adults regularly check with teen. Do not accept “no” if you suspect there is a problem.

Prepare parent for teen’s emotions. Have parent accept responsibility for how his/her actions contributed to these emotions.

Do not overreact and/or expect teen to deny emotions. Connect teen with other people or groups that are a positive

“family” – sports, church, hobby groups, school activities, cultural groups, extended family, etc.

Sources Gray, Deborah D., Attaching in Adoption:: Practical Tools for Today’s Parents, Perspective Press, Inc., Indianapolis, IN, 2002. Haight, Wendy, et al, Making Visits Better: the Perspectives of Parents, Foster Parents and Child Welfare Workers, Children and Family

Research Center, School of Social Work, University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Hess, Peg McCartt and Kathleen Ohman Proch, Family Visiting in Out-Of-Home Care: A Guide to Practice, Washington, DC, Child

Welfare League of America, 1988 Wright, Lois and Seymour, “Working with Children and Families Separated by Incarceration”, CWLA 2000. www.cwla.org Young, Nancy K., Methamphetamine: The Child Welfare Impact and Response Overview of the Issues, National Center on Substance

Abuse and Child Welfare, May 8, 2006, http://www.ncsacw.samhsa.gov/Meth%20and%20Child%20Safety.pdf 40 Developmental Assets, Search Institute, http://www.search-insitute.org Impact of Separation and Loss from a Child Development Perspective, Child Welfare Core Training Curriculum, Institute of Human

Services, Columbus, OH http://www.ihs-trainet.com/

Copyright Rose Wentz [email protected] 1

Visits: ROLES AND RESPONSIBILITIES BEFORE DURING AFTER

CHILD’S PARENT(S)

Ask about any rules/expectations s/he does not understand. Follow all the rules.

Find items to bring.

Arrange transportation.

Call as soon as possible if visit must be cancelled or you will be late.

Ask for help on how to handle your and the child’s emotions that commonly occur during visits.

Follow the rules. Come prepared. Come on time. Bring required items for visit and nothing else. Do not bring other people without permission.

Give child 100% of your attention.

No drugs or alcohol use at visit and do not come to visit intoxicated.

If you are having a mental health crisis ask for visit to be postponed.

Listen for feedback and ask questions about how to improve.

State concerns to SW.

Provide suggestions for next visit.

Take care of yourself – visits are hard emotionally.

Talk to a friend, SW, or therapist to debrief visit.

CASE WORKER - person responsible to develop visit plan

Place child in a home that is close and will support visits and family connections.

Place sibling together or ensure they have frequent visits.

Provide everyone with written visit plan.

Tell parent(s) of expectations and rules.

Help parent(s) prepare what to say to child, what to bring, what activities are allowed/expected. Do not expect that parent(s) knows how to perform parenting tasks and assume parent(s) will feel “unnatural” during visit – PREPARE the parent(s) to succeed.

Explain to child purpose of visit, safety rules, how long it will last, and returning to caregiver following visit. Practice what s/he may want to say to parent(s)

Arrange transportation and location.

Do not use visits as a reward or punishment.

See Supervisor of visit responsibilities if you are also doing that task

Make visits a high caseload priority so that they occur.

Apply sanctions to parents who break rules. Do not use visits as rewards or punishment.

Give the child’s parent(s) feedback on their interactions, behaviors, parenting skills or other issues. Communicate in a strength-based manner.

Use Progressive Visit Planning to increase or decrease an item in the visit in order to meet the child’s needs and to determine parenting skills.

Call and check with child and/or caregiver to see how the child is reacting to visits

Ask everyone about how to improve the visits

CHILD’S OUT-OF-HOME CAREGIVER

Prepare child for visit given the type of visit; talk about visit, how to handle emotions and the safety plan.

Pack clothes, food, medicine, comfort item or other items needed for visit

Say positive things to the child about visit and his or her parents.

Transport child to visit.

Give information to SW and parent about child: anything that might affect the visit, i.e. school, illness, behaviors.

Support contact with siblings and others.

Visits should never be talked about as a reward or punishment for a child’s behavior.

Believe that family connections are essential for a child’s health development.

Have the visit in caregiver(s) (your) home.

Model or teach parenting skills to the child’s parent.

Supervise or monitor visits – see supervisor of visits for more details

Help with transitions at beginning and the end of visits, especially if the child is emotionally attached to you or the child does not remember the family members who will be at the visit.

Be willing to meet with the child’s parent(s) before and after the visit. Avoid “handing off” the child to a third party in order that you not meet the parent(s).

Transport child back to your home.

Have routine that will comfort child, allow for emotions to be safely expressed.

Discuss “abnormal” reactions the child has to visits with the child’s caseworker.

Document visits if you supervised visit or it occurred in your home.

Take care of yourself , the child, and your family - given your emotions.

Copyright Rose Wentz [email protected] 2

BEFORE DURING AFTER

CHILD/ YOUTH

Tell adults what you prefer regarding visits; location, frequency, who attends, activities, safety.

Ask any questions you have about the visits

Tell adults if you are having feelings you cannot handle, are afraid, or need information.

Have fun.

Be on time.

Follow the rules.

Use your safety plan, ask for help. Ask for visit to end if you feel unsafe.

Tell adults if you have any questions, feelings, reactions, or concerns about the visit.

Tell adults what you think would make the visits better.

SUPERVISOR OF VISIT

Must be willing and able to put child’s best interest first.

Given the visit plan, have the skills required to implement the plan; to supervise, model parenting skills , assess, interactions, or observe.

Complete any training required to be a visit supervisor, especially for conducting high level of supervision for violent or unsafe parents.

End visit if parent violates rules or if child indicates his/her safety is at risk.

Enforce all the rules of the visit (location, activities, people attending).

End visit if parent shows any signs of intoxication, mental illness or abusive behaviors.

Supervised/Observation supervisor: do not talk to others during the visit, do not get involved in activities even if asked, only intervene if safety issues occur.

Modeling/teaching supervisor: do provide direct modeling or teaching of parenting skills as determined by the case plan. Can give advice to parent during the visit.

Therapeutic supervisor: therapy, teaching parenting skills, family counseling, play therapy.

Take notes regarding visit. Send to SW ASAP. May be required to testify in court.

Watch the clock and be sure all 3 phases of a visit occur (saying hello, the activities, saying goodbye).

If social worker has approved,,provide immediate feedback to parent – do this out of hearing of the child.

Document visit and send to appropriate people.

Call social worker or caregiver soon after the visit if there is a special need of the child or parent(s) that should be addressed immediately.

If approved, check with older children, out of hearing from the child’s parent(s), as to the child’s questions, reactions, or assessment of the visit.

TRANSPORTER Be on time.

Safe driving and car seats.

Listen to child during the ride.

Provide reassurance.

Report any concerns immediately to social worker.

May be asked to provide information from caregiver to SW or child’s parent(s).

See Supervisor of visit responsibilities if you are also doing that task.

Be on time.

Safe driving and car seats.

Listen to child during the ride.

Provide reassurance.

Report any concerns immediately to social worker.

May be asked to provide information to caregiver.

planning and implementing purposeful, progressive...

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