sept. 24, 2013

, The Loafer • September 24, 2013

www.theloaferonline.com September 24, 2013 • The Loafer,

Volume 27

Issue #42

Published by Creative Publishing, Inc., P.O. Box 3596, Johnson City, TN 37602

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Grab your lederhosen and your dirndl (surely you have one by now) – the 3rd Annual Kingsport Oktoberfest, sponsored by Yuengling and Smith Brothers Harley Davidson, is just around the corner. Saturday, September 28th thousands will converge on downtown Kingsport for Tennessee’s Largest Oktoberfest. Now spreading over 6 city

blocks, Kingsport Oktoberfest has something for everyone, and many of the events are FREE. The Kingsport Oktoberfest has been named -‐ for the second year in a row -‐ a ‘Top 50 Festival’ by Blue Ridge Outdoor Magazine. Come on out to Tennessee’s Largest Oktoberfest and have a great time. The Kingsport

many wonderful local charities including Second Harvest Food Bank of Northeast Tennessee, Keep Kingsport Beautiful and Move to Kingsport.“We are really excited about

this year’s Oktoberfest. We work hard to design an event that’s fun for families and a great time to get together with old and new friends,” said Kingsport Oktoberfest organizer Robert Brents. “And the festival wouldn’t be possible without Yuengling and Smith Brothers Harley Davidson returning as

title sponsors,” he continued.This year things just got even

more interesting. The Kingsport Oktoberfest and its new event – Tennessee Idiotarod (more on that later) have been selected by a major cable network to be

featured in a 30 minute show with host Ben Bailey of Cash Cab. A large crew from Los Angeles will be in Kingsport for the week of the festival featuring organizers, community leaders, and festival organizers. “We consider this national

attention a tremendous complement for the festival and more importantly the growing team of people who make this happen. We want the Kingsport Oktoberfest – Tennessee’s Oktoberfest to be added to “bucket lists” across the country and a show like this could do just that,” said festival organizer and spokesperson, Stephanie Carson.With activities planned from

morning ‘til night, we have the

This year the Smith Brother’s Harley Davidson Craft Bier Garden will offer two levels of VIP tickets. Premier Club Memberships are $100 each and include early access to the Bier

Garden (at 1pm), authentic felt German hat, commemorative Tennessee Oktoberfest tasting glass, Oktoberfest growler, bar towel, food at the Stir Fry VIP

Beer Tasting, special Belgium VIP Glass and special bag.

offers Premier Club members the opportunity to taste a select beer aged over six years to note the differences in taste over time.

organizers say a Vertical Beer Tasting gives people a chance to enjoy a quality beer. “Vertical tastings are

something relatively new in the craft beer world, but they’re a unique way for the true beer lover to gain an appreciation for how time impacts a beer,” said Carson. Like last year, there is also

a For $70 ($65 for early bird) attendees gain early access to the Craft Bier Garden and catering from Stir Fry Café. Premier VIP and VIP tickets are in short supply and are expected to sell out well in advance of the

event. In addition, this year there

will be two special FestivALES for VIPs in the VIP area. The Gregarious Great Pumpkin is a commissioned Pumpkin Harvest Ale running directly through the Great Pumpkin himself. Also, Santa is Getting Fresh is another FestivALE that was commissioned for Oktoberfest. It’s a Double Dutch Chocolate Stout infused with Peppermint Candy Canes. Everyone is sure to love how it’s infused, but we are keeping that a secret until you set it at the festival.The Bier Garden will open

General Admission ticket holders at 2:30 that afternoon where attendees will be able to taste at least a 100 different beers from brewers from around the region. General admission tickets are $40 ($35 for Early Bird) and can be bought at www.kingsportoktoberfest.com. This year’s guest brewer is Hi-‐

Wire Brewery out of Asheville, making their Tennessee debut

Of!cial Guide to Kingsport OktoberfestSaturday, September 28th, Downtown Kingsport

Continued on page 5


at the Kingsport Oktoberfest with many more listed on www.kingsportoktoberfest.com. In addition, many other brewers chose the Kingsport Oktoberfest to make their Tricities debut including Jackalope Brewing, Big Boss Brewing and Blue Tick Brewing. Of course, it wouldn’t be a festival without Kingsport’s own, Erich Allen and Studio Brew representing.

Get it straight from the head brewer. All ticket holders to the Smith Brothers Craft Bier Garden also have their entry included in the ticket price. Beer University focuses on education from grain to glass. Some of the region’s best brewers will discuss in an intimate setting some of the most interesting issues in brewing including head brewers from Studio Brew, Moccasin Bend

Brewing, Saw Works Brewing, Smoky Mountain Brewing, Wolf Hills Brewing and more. Get it straight from the brewer on topics including real ales, barrel aging, the lager process and more at Beer University.

It’s important to organizers of Kingsport Oktoberfest that there are activities for families to learn more about German heritage and take part in the festivities. This year there are

crafts provided by the Kingsport Arts Council. There will also be costumed StiltWalkers that will be fun “eye candy” for adults and kids. The Das Kidzone is an ALCOHOL-‐FREE area. Activities start at 10 am. In addition, Earth Fare will have some healthy giveaways for the family and ETSU Gray Fossil Site History Museum will offer a fossil dig for the children.

“We want families to feel like they can be a part of this event. As parents ourselves, it’s important to us that our event represents something we would bring our children to, and do,” said festival co-‐owner Robert Brents.

Saturday, September 28th Tennessee plays South Alabama, but fans won’t have to choose between watching the game or coming to Oktoberfest. That game and others will be available for viewing inside the College Football Bier Hall. There

120 feet of tables, and plenty of chairs underneath a large Oktoberfest tent – provided by Action Rentals.

Back for the second year is the Barrel Roll, sponsored by First Kingsport Credit Union. This German tradition involves rolling “old school” beer barrels down the street. It’s not as easy as it sounds and is fun for participants and spectators.

For the second year in a row, the EuroKult German Car Show, sponsored by German Motors, will have a classic German Car show for everyone to view as well as participate in. This is a great chance to check out vintage and classic German cars.

Continued from page 4

Continued on page 6


The Little City Roller Girls will have their 2nd Annual Oktoberfest Roller Bout at the Kingsport Oktoberfest. This will take place during the festival and gives everyone a chance to see what all the excitement is about with the Little City Roller Girls.

The 3rd Annual Advanced Disposal Cornhole Tournament is sure to please with experts and novices from around the region competing in the tournament. With $1,100 in prize money and ACO gold tickets, it’s a good time and a chance to show your cornhole skills. There’s plenty of live music and great beer to drown your sorrows if you lose – or celebrate your victories.

The Weiner Dog Brat Trot, sponsored by First Kingsport Credit Union, has sold out for the past two years and event organizers encourage people to register in advance. This year, included with the $35 admission, dogs will receive a German Costume. Ribbons are awarded to the

winning pups in this dog friendly track. Register your pup at www.kingsportoktoberfest.com.This event is FREE to watch

and promises to be a great time for all.

The Tennessee Idiotarod is a shopping cart race in which

onto or tie themselves to a

store shopping cart and run through the streets of Kingsport. The race usually features people in costumes and themed carts. It’s a lot of crazy fun and unique in it is also a Food Drive with 10-‐percent of the proceeds going

to the Second Harvest Food Bank.

and craftsmen from around the region including woodworkers, sculptors, jewelers, potters, painters, knitters and more, will showcase their work along Main Street surrounded by Bavarian Cuisine, Craft Bier Garden and plenty of family friendly entertainment.

10:00 Festival Opens 10:00 Craft Artisan

Market Opens (F)10:30 Food Court Opens

(F)10:30 Das Kidzone

Opens with 3 Free Bouncehouses (F)10:30 Cornhole

Registration11:00 Cornhole

Tournament Begins


Continued on page 7


10:30 Dobbins Bennett Chorus11:00 EuroKult German Car

Show (F)

11:00 College Football & Bier Haus Opens11:30 EarthFare Healthy Kids

(F)12:00 – 3:00 Mountaintop

Polka Band

12:00 Little City Roller Girl Mini Matches Begin (F)1:00 VIP Bier Garden catered

by Stir Fry Opens12:30 Second Harvest Food

Bank Drive1:00 Tennessee Idiotarod

Starts (F)2:00 ETSU Natural History

Museum Kids Fossil Dig (F)2:30 General Admission Bier

Garden Open2:30 Beer University Begins

2:30 Stilt Walking (F)3:30 Wiener Dog Race Brat

Trot (F)4:00 Beth Snapp Plays4:30 Barrel Race (F)6:00 Hundred Acres Headlines6:30 Bier Garden Closes for

VIP and General Admission8:30 Closing

(F) is a family friendly activity

Kingsport Oktoberfest are the Holiday Inn, Hampton Inn and Super 8. Call for your special Oktoberfest rate. For more

Oktoberfest hotels, go to visitor info and contacts at www.kingsportoktoberfest.comTickets to the Smith Brother’s

Harley Davidson Craft Bier Garden can be purchased at www.kingsportoktoberfest.com.



It’s time again for the Fourth Annual Thunder Road Rod Run held this year at the Appalachian Fairgrounds in Gray, Tenn. Hosting the event will be Vintage Street Rodders of America, a National Organization for Pre-‐49 cars and trucks. Since Vintage Street Rodders of America encourages their members to drive their cars,

street rods from across America showcased and driven across the beautiful East Tennessee countryside from as far away as Michigan, Ohio, Indiana, WV, Maryland, Kentucky, Virginia, North Carolina, South Carolina and Florida, and of course

Tennessee. The show will be at the Fairgrounds on Friday Sept. 27th and Sat. Sept. 28th from 8:00 to 5:00 each day. The show will be free to the public with donations appreciated. There will be vendors, games,a swap meet, seminars, car corral, food, Cory from” The DJ Doctors”, door prizes, 50/50, dash plaques and plaques for 25 VSRA Picks. Registration for the two-‐day event is $30 for VSRA members and $40 for non-‐members. Tri-‐Cities Top Gun Radio will

be on site Saturday from 10:00 -‐1:00 to do a live radio remote. Top Gun Radio can be found on 100.7 fm signal and 870 am signal. Come out and get in on

the fun. On Friday night from 6:00

to 10:00, all registered Street Rodders will be treated to a free BBQ dinner, live music by Homemade Wine, distillery tours and meet and greet Master Distillery, Neil “Tiny” Roberson. East Tennessee Distillery is located at 220 Piney Flats Rd, Piney Flats, Tenn. 37686. The public is also invited to attend this event at the Distillery to check out the street rods. For more information on the

Fourth Annual Thunder Road Rod Run, please go to vsra-‐usa.com or call Jim at 423-‐571-‐6430.

Thunder Road Rod RunAppalachian Fairgrounds in Gray

September 27th & 28th


On the 150th anniversary of Emancipation, the African American Heritage Alliance of East Tennessee (AAHA!) presents Echoes of Emancipation: One Region, Many Voices, a conference and recognition focusing on the 50 years of history, art, music and culture in post-‐slavery East Tennessee.In partnership with

Andrew Johnson National Historic Site, the George Clem Multicultural Alliance, and Tusculum College, AAHA!’s 2013 conference builds on the successful 2011 Conference “An Untold Story” in Knoxville, Tennessee by expanding the visual and performing arts components while continuing to

presentations, workshops and panels AAHA! is known for such as:Freedom Journeys: US

Colored Soldiers and African American Identity,

Praying with Our Feet: Emancipation Celebrations, Crossing Boundaries, and the Ongoing March to Freedom.

From the Ground Up: Building Communities of Faith and Education in the Black Community after Emancipation,

Recovering the Black Historical Subject through Contemporary Poetry

An Evening with Paul Robeson,

The conference offers opportunities to learn how to do oral history interviews, how to care for family archives, and how to preserve Black cemeteries through creative educational programs and partnerships. Tusculum Museum Studies staff will be digitizing documents and artifacts and students from area colleges will help attendees “tell their community story” with the “Mapping African American History in East Tennessee” project.

AAHA! represents eight counties in Eastern Tennessee and twelve local African American organizations working to preserve Black history in East Tennessee. AAHA! believes that preserving, restoring, and celebrating knowledge of the history of the African American community in East Tennessee and the cultural and economic contributions its members have made will “change the narrative” and thereby help foster more positive, just and equitable interactions between the diverse groups of people for whom East Tennessee is home. AAHA! is a task force of

the Community Economic Development Network of East Tennessee. Funding for this conference comes from East Tennessee Foundation and Humanities Tennessee. Find us online at: www.aahaonline.net

Throughout the 2013 AAHA! Conference, there are several

themes that dictate how these events are scheduled, planned and recognized. Below are the guiding themes for “Echoes of Emancipation: One Region, Many Voices”Freedom Journeys: United

States Colored Troops and African American Identity in the Post-‐Civil War EraBuilding Communities of Faith

and Education: Founding Black Churches and Schools, 1866-‐1900August 8th: Emancipation

Celebrations and African American ResilienceSaving Cemeteries, Preserving

Stories, Building CommunityTelling Tales: Asking Good

Questions and Preserving Great Stories through Oral History InterviewsThe NellyVan Vactor Story

Friday Night: Friendship Baptist Church Gospel Concert followed by An Evening with Paul Robeson.Saturday Night: Gallery

Opening and Reception for Sammie Nicely, Artspace 4 Gallery/General Morgan InnTusculum College Museum

staff will be digitizing documents and artifacts with historical

to bring items to the conference. Students from Tusculum

College and Carson Newman College will be helping community members document the history of local schools, churches, businesses at the “Mapping African American History in East Tennessee Project.”

For Additional information on the African American Heritage Alliance of East Tennessee and the 2013 Conference, Contact:Dr. Beth Vanlandingham,

Conference Program Organizer865-‐471-‐[email protected]

“Echoes of Emancipation: One Region, Many Voices”

Tusculum CollegeOctober 4 – 5, 2013


Country music entertainer Kellie Pickler will appear Saturday, September 28th at 7:30pm at the Niswonger Performing Arts Center in Greeneville, TN.A favorite of

country music audiences, Pickler’s life has played out like a classic country song. From her hardscrabble, small town roots; to center stage on American Idol; to the top of the country charts; Kellie has proven that talent, beauty, hard work and determination are a potent combination. Pickler, with dancing partner Derek Hough, was also the winner of ABC’s Dancing with the Stars’ sixteenth season in the Spring of 2013.Since her appearance on

Dancing with the Stars, the mainstream America appeal of Kellie Pickler has grown

heroines, Dolly Parton, Tammy Wynette, and Loretta Lynn, Pickler has captured the loyalty of the country audience with her gift for being genuine in her life and art.In 2006, just 2 weeks after

being eliminated from American

record deal. In September of

High Heels,” was released just ahead of her debut album, “Small Town Girl”. That album debuted at No. 1 on Billboard’s Top Country Albums chart. Since then, Pickler’s star power has continued to shine. “A few years ago I was working

with one of our corporate clients, Belk Department Stores, on their new branding campaign entitled -‐ Modern. Southern. Style. -‐ and they asked for my recommendation on a performing

Kellie was my immediate choice and a few weeks later she performed for over 2,000 Belk associates in Charlotte, NC at the brand unveiling. She was an incredible performer”, said Tom Bullard, Executive Director of NPAC. Bullard, a senior partner of Knoxville based Creative Entertainment Management Group, assumed management of Niswonger Performing Arts Center on January 1, 2013.“During the past 9

months we’ve completed the performance schedule arranged by the previous management company and are now

of programming. Our 2013-‐2014 season includes 30 performances by musical artists and touring theatrical productions. We’ve implemented many changes the last few months including a new marketing campaign in the region to establish our identity as a well-‐respected performing arts center serving East Tennessee, Southwest Virginia, and Western North Carolina. In addition,

we’ve added a variety of attributes to improve what we call the guest experience. Our new website offers more information, our new ticketing system provides many features

seat selection, and our venue has been improved in many ways including updates to the appearance and technical components”, said Bullard. “One of the improvements we are most proud of is the fact that NPAC is now one of the few venues which doesn’t charge a fee for online ticketing. No ticket surcharge, no order fee, no add-‐

on costs whatsoever. So, whether a guest purchases their tickets in person, by phone, or online (using mail, will-‐call, or print at home options), the ticket price is the same. We’ve worked very hard to keep our ticket prices at an affordable amount”.Kellie Pickler will perform

at Niswonger Performing Arts Center (NPAC) in historic downtown Greeneville, TN on Saturday, September 28th at 7:30pm. Tickets are $50 for orchestra and mezzanine level seating and $40 for balcony seats. Tickets may be purchased online at www.npacgreeneville.com, in

by calling 423-‐638-‐1679. NPAC now offers online seat selection and no-‐fee ticketing. The box

Friday, 10am until 5pm.The 1130 seat performing

arts center is located adjacent to the campus of Greeneville High School in Greeneville, TN.For venue information, and

to purchase tickets, please visit www.npacgreeneville.com

Kellie PicklerNiswonger Performing Arts Center

September 28th


Junior League of Kingsport is presenting their 7th annual Holiday Market fundraiser at Meadowview Convention Center in Kingsport October 3rd -‐ 5th. General shopping is 10am-‐7pm Friday, October 4th, and Saturday, October 5th, 10am-‐6pm. Tickets are on

sale now for Holiday Market. Daily tickets are $5 or $8 for multi-‐day shopping. The Ladies Night Preview is on October 3rd, 6-‐10pm. Tickets for Ladies Night are $35, and include a silent auction, hors d’oeuvres, drinks and a unique shopping experience. JLK recruits vendors from

all over the Southeast to sell at Holiday Market. “These vendors bring in some

very unusual and interesting items that you can’t get anywhere in our area. You will see handmade, one-‐of-‐a-‐kind jewelry, clothing, gourmet foods, kids’ toys and clothes. There are artisans that sell handcrafted art

and items for the home,” said Sharon Duncan, Holiday Market organizer.“I love to shop

the Holiday Market because the vendors are showcasing items that soon will become popular trends. It is a great

gifts for all ages. I look forward to shopping there each year,” said Lucy Fleming. “Holiday Market

week of October. We try schedule it at the same time each year. It has really become a tradition. Best friends, sisters, mothers and daughters will come to shop together. It’s a great time to relax and reconnect. We try our best to make it an event the community looks forward to,” said Treva Tarpley, Holiday Market organizer.

Holiday Market is JLK’s only fundraiser each year. The organization gives a service scholarship every year to a graduating high school senior. JLK also supports local charities that provide services to families in need like Children Exceeding Expectations. According to their Facebook page, CEE is a free school for children with cancer

“Junior League gives us

Henry, co-‐director of Children Exceeding Expectations. “We can stock up on supplies and have enriching projects for the children to do when they are with

us. Having the money for the class supplies is truly a blessing,” said Henry. “When you shop at

Holiday Market, you really are shopping for a cause, and many people in the community really

For more information or to buy tickets, you can contact the JLK

1321, go to the website, www.jlkingsport.org, or visit the Facebook page, Junior League of Kingsport.

Holiday Market FundraiserMeadowview Convention Center

October 3rd - 5th


Season ten, American Idol, who won? Bet you can’t remember, but say the name Scotty McCreery, and everyone knows who you are referring to. That deep, deep voice, that irresistible smile and sound, who could forget the North Carolina native who defeated another female country crooner after receiving a majority of the record 122 million votes cast by viewers during the 2011 season.Scotty McCreery

will be headlining one performance only at Viking Hall Civic Center on Sunday afternoon, October 27 at 5:00 PM. Tickets will go on sale Saturday September 21 at 10:00 AM.McCreery earning both

a platinum and gold album before turning 20, he is poised to become country’s newest superstar. With over

150 live shows under his belt across the U.S., Canada and the Philippines, McCreery has become a fan favorite appealing to all ages. “We are very excited about having Scotty in concert at Viking Hall. This will be

Empire. It really worked out in an odd fashion. We have Willie Robertson, from A&E’s Duck Dynasty coming in just a few days before Scotty. While working with Robertson, we found out that Scotty had been invited to provide the entertainment on their 2014 Duck Dynasty Cruise. It is a small world,” said Darlene Cole, Venues Manager for the city.The show will feature opening act Angie

Johnson, a Missouri native who served in the U.S. Air Force as an intelligence analyst before perusing her dream of a music career.For more information on the concert

764-‐0188.To order tickets online go to www.

vikinghall.com, order by phone with a credit card call 423-‐764-‐0188 or drop by

Friday 9AM to 3PM at 1100 Edgemont Avenue.

Scotty McCreeryViking Hall October 21st

Tickets on Sale Now


Saturday, September 28th, 2013, at 7:30 p.m. the Carter Family Fold in Hiltons, Virginia, will present a concert of bluegrass music by Trey Hensley & Drivin’ Force. Admission to the concert is $10 for adults, $1 for children 6 to 11, under age 6 free.Trey Hensley, despite his young

age, has already forged his own style. What started twelve years ago as a kid singing traditional bluegrass has become the mature sound of a 22-‐year old country performer and vocalist who has already found his voice. While you’ll hear some of his idols and

more than anything, you’ll hear Trey Hensley.With a guitar in his hands,

his talent expands beyond his

will blow your mind. His own style of picking – whether on his Telecaster or acoustic – bears

guitar heroes. You’ll hear traces of James Burton, Marty Stuart, Buck Owens, Ricky Skaggs, Doc Watson, and Tony Rice.Friends with Johnny Cash and

Earl Scruggs, he’s picked with Tom T. Hall, the Oak Ridge Boys, Steve Wariner, Charlie Daniels, Ricky Skaggs, and many others.

Ole Opry’s spotlight in 2002, performing on the hallowed Ryman stage at the age of only eleven years old. Before that, he appeared onstage at the Carter Fold – the birthplace of country music.

project, Looking at my Future,

hand and surrounded by some

in Nashville. Covering material done by Johnny Rodriguez, Elvis Presley, and Jerry Reed -‐ his easy vocal styling and hot licks on the release are amazing. With his second country CD, It is What it Is, the Jonesborough, Tennessee, native is heading out playing his own brand of traditional honky-‐tonk music. Trey’s new CD is a combination of radio-‐friendly

and contemporary songs as well as songs with the classic sound of some of his heroes. It features songs done by Elton John, Conway Twitty, Jimmy Dickens, and many other music industry greats as well as special guests who contributed their time and talent to the release. Several years ago, Trey hit the

road with his four-‐piece band for a tour that carried him from Philadelphia to Los Angeles, Nebraska to North Carolina, and beyond. During the tour, his group opened for Steve Wariner, Randy Owen, and Marty Stuart. While he continues to travel throughout the U.S. and Canada, Trey is always mindful of the roots of the music he loves. He never lets country fans forget where it all began. Trey’s talent and stage

presence are indicative of a performer far beyond his age. His tremendous talent and his down home humility impress everyone he meets. Marty Stuart calls him

You won’t hear better guitar picking anywhere, and his vocals are every bit as spell-‐binding as his playing. If you aren’t a fan of Trey’s already, you will be when

you hear him. For a night of some of the

best bluegrass and traditional country music you can imagine, don’t miss Trey Hensley and Drivin’ Force at the Carter Family Fold! Trey grew up playing on the Carter Fold stage, and it feels like part of our family is coming home when he performs there. This particular performance will be special as Trey will be celebrating his birthday that day. The Fold takes tremendous pride in bringing him back to our stage. If you need more information on Trey, go to http://treyhensley.com/. Carter Music Center is part

of the Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail. You can visit the Crooked Road Music Trail site at http://thecrookedroad.org. Partial funding for programs at the center is provided by the Virginia Commission for the Arts and the National Endowment for the Arts. For recorded information on shows coming up at the Fold, call 276-‐386-‐6054. The Fold is on Facebook – page Carter Fold – and Twitter – Twitter @carterfoldinfo. To speak to a Fold staff member, call 276-‐594-‐0676.

Trey Hensley & Driving ForceCarter Family Fold

September 28th, 7:30pm


The Crooked Road, in partnership with the Town of Abingdon, will hold the 2nd annual music festival devoted to telling the story of The Crooked Road: Virginia’s Heritage Music Trail. On October 3rd-‐6th, 2013,

the sounds of rich history and musical heritage of Southwest Virginia. On Thursday, October 3rd, The

Crooked Road Thursday Night Jam will kick off the festival. Get ready for some good ol’ fashioned pickin’ at the Heartwood Artisan Center. The Jam will start at 6:30 p.m. and end at 9 p.m. Bring your instrument and join the circle! Don’t play? That’s okay! Grab a drink and some dinner off the special BBQ menu and enjoy the music.Friday, October 4th, The

Crooked Road Youth Music Concert will be presented from 6

p.m. to 9 p.m. The Loose Strings Band will hit the stage at 6 p.m. followed by Tyler Hughes and thenKitty Amaral & Friends closing out the evening.The Crooked Road Music

Festival will continue on Saturday, October 5th from 12 p.m. to 7 p.m. There will be two stages, an outdoor stage covered with a tent and then an indoor stage. The indoor stage will feature various artists and a songwriters workshop from 12 p.m. to 5 p.m.The outdoor stage will feature artists from 12:30 p.m. until 7 p.m. with the headlining act of Blue Highway closing the festival from 5:30 p.m. to 7 p.m.Sunday, October 6th, the

Sunday Gospel Showcase will be from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. with Bill and Maggie Anderson performing. There will be a Sunday brunch offered but it is

not included in the ticket price and will be sold at an additional cost at Heartwood.*All events will be held at

Heartwood Artisan Center,

located at One Heartwood Circle, Abingdon, VA 24210.For more information on the

performers, the full schedule and to purchase tickets:

visithttp://www.abingdon-‐crookedroadmusicfest.com/ or call the Abingdon Convention and Visitors Bureau at 1-‐800-‐435-‐3440.

Abingdon Crooked Road Music Festival

October 3rd-6th


“Pete Berwick is one of the last of the hardcore troubadours.”-‐-‐Nashville Songwriter’s

Association“Pete Berwick is worthy to stand shoulder to shoulder with the likes of Dylan, Springsteen and Mellencamp. A tall statement but the music tells a story of a man who has poured his guts, his soul and his passion into his songs.”-‐-‐ Lucas Campbell, Rock Of

Ages Radio Show, UK

no other, Pete Berwick is a shining example of what the Roots Rock world expects from its performers. Well written songs, great vocal performances and a hard driving in your face

country salt.“-‐-‐Roots Music ReportFor over thirty years critically

acclaimed singer-‐songwriter Pete Berwick has been writing, recording, and performing on his own terms. Born to go it the hard way, determined to take the road less traveled, and constantly stretching musical boundaries, after four albums and two novels this renegade artist refuses to be pigeonholed in anything resembling a genre.His albums have won album

of the year awards by several music critics, along with international radio play and top ten chart success on satellite

radio, and several of his songs have been featured in movies and television.Arguably one of

the earliest pioneers of cowpunk, Berwick delivers a blistering and authentic live performance. A die hard veteran

who continues to tour the country in the hardcore troubadour spirit, Pete Berwick is the last of the true outlaws.If you want to picture

a set in a roadhouse

off a couple drunks before you head to the next town, then PETE BERWICK is your man.For more information

about Pete, visit www.peteberwick.net.

Pete BerwickAcoustic Coffeehouse

October 1st, 8pm


The inaugural ArtShare 2013 at Viking Hall will be Saturday Oct. 12 and Sunday Oct. 13 at the Bristol, Tennessee facility.ArtShare 2013 will feature

the 6th annual Twin City Photo Club Contest, where more than 200 entries will compete for a total of $1,000 in cash prizes.Area photographers can enter

the TCPC contest, or stop by to enjoy an amazing collection of amateur work in a variety of categories. Entries for the 6th annual TCPC Photo Contest will be accepted Sunday, Oct. 6 from 2-‐5 pm at Viking Hall. Rules are on the TCPC Facebook site.“We are celebrating the spirit

of artists,” said Mark Marquette, co-‐promoter with the City of Bristol, Tennessee. “The popular photo contest will anchor a mix of regional artists on display in what we envision as a popular annual event showcasing outstanding artwork.”Featured at this inaugural

show will be several artists from Asheville, NC, as well as artists of all mediums. Admission is $3 cash at the door; under age 15 admitted free.For additional information,

email [email protected] or call 423-‐946-‐4132.Article photos by Mark D.

Marquette.

ArtShare 2013 & TCPC Photo Contest

Viking Hall October 12th & 13th


The Symphony of the Mountains Chamber Ensemble will perform at East Tennessee State University on Saturday, Sept. 28, at 3 p.m. in the Mathes Hall auditorium.Led by Concertmaster Sean

Claire, the ensemble will perform music composed by Beethoven, Saint-‐Saëns and Schubert in this concert jointly presented by the ETSU Department of Music and an anonymous sponsor.

Tickets are $15 for general admission, $10 for seniors and $5 for students with ID; at all three pricing levels, patrons may bring a friend for free. Tickets may be purchased online at www.etsu.edu/cas/music. For more information or

special assistance for those with disabilities, call the Department of Music at (423) 439-‐4276 or email [email protected].

Symphony of the Mountains Chamber Ensemble Performs at ETSUSeptember 28th, 3pm


WEDNESDAYS

WEDNESDAYS

Song of the Mountains at the beautiful Lincoln Theatre in Marion, Virginia invites you to see and hear the Primitive Quartet, Trey Hensley, Jimmy Bowen and Santa Fe, the Gravy Boys and Rebecca Frazier and Hit and Run on Saturday, October 5th at 7:00 pm. This concert will be taped for national distribution across America. Song of the Mountains is in their ninth season of tapings and reaches millions of households every week on public television.

has been traveling and singing gospel music forty years, and they count it a joy and privilege to spread the gospel through

song. Their ultimate goal is to see saints blessed and encouraged to have a closer walk with God and to help lead souls to a saving knowledge of Jesus Christ. The quartet was formed as a

night and sang. They realized that they had four-‐part harmony, and from there they started singing at our home church and other local churches. Today

thousand miles a year and do

annually. Their music is the

traditional mountain shape note style singing accompanied by acoustical instruments including the mandolin, banjo,

acoustic bass. They play their own music on all our recordings and strive to duplicate

the same sound on all their personal appearances.

, despite his young age, has already forged his own style. What started eleven years ago as a kid singing traditional bluegrass has become the mature sound of a 22-‐year old country performer and vocalist who has already found his voice. While you’ll hear some of his idols

edges, more than anything you’ll hear Trey Hensley. With a guitar in his hands, his talent expands beyond the reason of

will blow your mind. His own style of picking, whether on his Telecaster or acoustic, bears the

heroes. You’ll hear traces of Merle Haggard’s Roy Nichols; genre-‐smashing super-‐picker James Burton; country stylists, Marty Stuart, Buck Owens and Ricky Skaggs; and bluegrass royalty Doc Watson and Tony Rice.It was ’s father

who sparked his love of music

Jimmy was just age seven. By the time he was 10, Jimmy was playing acoustic lead guitar in his father’s Bluegrass band. Just a year later, Jimmy was performing in different bar venues in his hometown of Charlotte, North Carolina. Jimmy has performed over the years with bands such as the Country Gentlemen and David Parmley and Continental Divide. In 2011, Jimmy made his acting debut in the FX-‐TV drama “Outlaw Country.” In 2012, he appeared in the Toby Keith video, “Hope On The Rocks. In 2013, Jimmy released his new Bluegrass CD, “The Sky Is Weeping.” On June 29, 2013, Jimmy hosted “Midnight

Song of the MountainsLincoln Theatre

October 5th, 7pmTrey Hensley

Jimmy Bowen

Continued on page 19The Primitive Quartet


take a cup of country, a pinch of roots rock, a handful of honky-‐tonk, a splash of bluegrass, a dash of hobo folk, stir vigorously, and let it simmer ‘til the pot bubbles over...The Gravy Boys hail from

Raleigh/Durham, North Carolina. Their music draws deep from the well of our country’s diverse musical heritage.

Their high energy shows feature heartfelt vocal harmonies, boot-‐stomping rhythms, lively stage banter, and honest musicianship. The Gravy Boys are storytellers and entertainers. They spin their tales by taking classic American themes and bringing them into

the present day with a passion that resonates with all who listen.

achieved notoriety in the bluegrass world

on the cover of Flatpicking Guitar Magazine, and is widely known for her work with award-‐winning Colorado-‐based band, Hit & Run. In November 2010, Frazier was faced with a void

after the loss of her second son, Charlie. Uncertain of the future, and trying to move forward while continuing

son, a toddler at the time, she turned her attention to her writing. She’d hoped

to revisit her muse once her second son was of school age, but life had different plans. And as life can do, it took another turn during Frazier’s unplanned return to the studio in 2012-‐-‐the

took place during the recording of her forthcoming May 28 Compass Records release, When We Fall. Originally from Virginia, Frazier is perhaps best known for her work with

, which made history as the only band to win competitions at (2002),

(2003), and the Band Championship

in Nashville (2005). Driven by Rebecca and John’s leadership, Hit & Run became one of Colorado’s most electrifying acoustic touring acts. According to Denver’s Westword, “Something’s got to be up when one bluegrass band suddenly surpasses all the others.”This Song of the Mountains

concert on October 5th begins at 7:00 pm. Tickets and information is available at www.songofthemountains.org or by calling 276-‐783-‐6093. This live concert is sponsored by General Dynamics.Song of the Mountains

is underwritten for public television by TEDS, the General Francis Marion Hotel in Marion, VA, The Appalachian Cultural Music Association and the Mountain Music Museum in Bristol, TN, Blue Ridge Country 98.1 fm, The Bank of Marion, Morehead State University, Bryant Label Co. of Blountville, TN. Special support from the Town of Marion, VA. Also Song of the Mountains appreciates

all the support received from their faithful supporters who contribute dollars to keep this concert series funded and on public television across America.Memberships and Song of

the Mountains merchandise are available at the website and your purchases help support the concert series. Donations are accepted at the website as well. Underwriting opportunities are available by contacting Song of the Mountains through our website.Song of the Mountains/

The Lincoln Theatre is a non-‐

songofthemountains.org


The Gravy Boys

Rebecca Frazier


Bestselling Authors Set to Attend East Tennessee Writer’s Workshop and Holiday Book SigningKingsport, Tennessee

will be the host city for an extraordinary writer’s event December 6th and 7th. Bestselling authors, publishers, industry professionals, and an award-‐winning screenwriter will gather for the East Tennessee Writer’s Workshop and Holiday Book Signing. The goal of the workshop coordinator is to provide new writers with the tools they need for publication while affording experienced authors the opportunity to take their careers to the next level. Workshops will be conducted by seasoned professionals and cover all aspects of publishing.Bays Mountain Park and

Planetarium will host and sponsor a spectacular wolf howling production. Wolf specialist and park naturalist Fred Hilton will provide the informative presentation. Siren Publishing will host a catered dinner provided by Golden Corral. Workshop classes include

scriptwriting 101, how to write a query letter and submit manuscripts to buying publishers, how to use your

come alive, taking the necessary steps of publication, new marketing strategies to pump

up your established brand, how to take the leap from part-‐time writer to full-‐time author, how to survive in a self-‐published author’s world, how to choose between small press publishers and New York houses, how to publish on Amazon and make a

more. For those who’ve wanted

to write a book, but didn’t know where to start, this event offers writers an opportunity to ask questions, attend helpful workshops, and learn everything they need to know about the publishing business before submitting their manuscripts to buying publishers. Seasoned authors will teach classes on marketing strategies, branding, submission processes, screenwriting, character development, world building, and much more. Affaire de Coeur Magazine,

one of the leading romance magazines today, will cover the event. Anya Kelleye of Anya Kelleye Designs will also be available for questions.Cover model and acclaimed

actor John Antorino from Sex in the City 2 and Lipstick Jungle will be present throughout the

project, Escaping the Holocaust, Mr. Antorino will join authors on December 7th to greet fans and sign autographs. The Book Rack in Kingsport,

Tennessee will host a mix of talent on December 7th at their book signing which is open to the general public. Join New York Times Bestseller Jennifer Estep and a list of Amazon and Barnes and Noble bestsellers for an event to remember. The book signing is sponsored by Secret Cravings and eXtasy Books. Publishers and editors will be on hand to take pitches. Authors set to attend the

book signing event include: New York Times Bestselling author Jennifer Estep, Trista Ann Michaels, Sandy Sullivan, Susan Smith Alvis, Trixie Stiletto, Cherie Denis, Shannon West, Debra Parmley, Jean Joachim, Jessica Lee, Joyce Humphrey Cares, Sabrina Devonshire, Susan E. Scott, Destiny Blaine/Natalie Acres, Pamela Ackerson, Anne Fuller, and Jacci DeVera. Bestselling Amazon and

Barnes and Noble author, Susan Smith Alvis says, “We’re excited to host this event in the Tri-‐Cities region. Northeast Tennessee is home to so many talented writers and this event offers new and published authors the unique opportunity to connect with other like-‐minded individuals and learn the ins and outs of the publishing business. Authors from across the country will attend the workshop and their goals are simple—They want to help others achieve their writing dreams. The workshop is $150 but the education we’re offering is worth thousands. Best of all, writers can actually pitch and sell their manuscripts to buying publishers during the workshop.” The writer’s workshop will

take place at The LaQuinta Inn of Kingsport on December 6th and 7th. For more information, visit: http://destinyblaineworkshop.blogspot.com. Registration is still open and limited seating is available: [email protected].

Bestselling Authors at Writer’s Workshop & Book SigningDecember 6th & 7th, Kingsport

John Antorino


The iconic western, “The

shown at Tusculum College on Wednesday, Sept. 25.

commentary about the history

at the heart of the western by Joe Romano, a 1963 graduate of Tusculum College. The program will begin at 6 p.m. in the lecture hall of Tredway Hall on campus and is sponsored by the Department of History and Museum Studies. There is no charge for the event and the public is welcome.A talented cast, precise

directing and striking musical score are among the elements that took what could have been a fairly routine western into the realm of a classic and a landmark in the development of the western movie. The 1960

whose residents hire a mix of gunslingers to protect the citizens from pillaging by a bandit and his small army of farmers. Its cast includes actors who would go onto become superstars over the next decade, such as Yul Brynner, Steve McQueen, James Coburn

has grown in popularity since its release and is the second most

only “The Wizard of Oz.”

an American retelling of the

Samurai,” which in turn was

Ford’s westerns. The tale in both movies, which involves a gathering of heroes who set out on a great guest, is a form that extends back to the ancient Greeks and Romans and can be

found in the works of such great writers as Shakespeare. Artists from cultures around the world have reworked these timeless and universal themes from the beginning of recorded history. Romano will explore this history

“Seven Samurai” before “The

in its entirety. Any questions or comments will be discussed following the movie.Romano graduated from

Tusculum with a degree in history and also earned a Master of Arts degree in history from the University of Tennessee. He has written local history, including the story of Free Acres, the transcendental community where he and his wife Sue, a Tusculum alumna, lived for 45 years. He also authored a section of “From the Passaiack to the

of Berkeley Heights, N.J. and an article about a man who rode with General George Patton through France and Germany in World War II.Tusculum College, the oldest

college in Tennessee and the 28th oldest in the nation, is a liberal arts institution committed to providing a liberal arts education in a Judeo-‐Christian and civic arts environment, with pathways for career preparation,

personal development and civic engagement. Approximately twenty-‐one hundred students are enrolled on the main campus in Greeneville and three off-‐site locations in East Tennessee. The academic programs for both traditional-‐aged students and working adults served through the Graduate and Professional Studies program are delivered using focused calendars whereby students enroll in one course at a time.

The Magni!cent SevenTusculum CollegeSeptember 25th


Now is the time to see the long arm of our Milky Way Galaxy that dazzles the eyes.Really more splendorous

in the Autumn than Summer, the Milky Way stretches from north to south, splitting the sky overhead when it gets dark after 8 pm.Legends abound about this

celestial highway of stars that was thought of more as a special cloud before Galileo turned a telescope to reveal its true nature in 1609. All people of antiquity, just

like you, have looked up at this ribbon of light and wondered

what is it? First coined by the Romans as the “via lactea,” the Milky Way might be second only to the Big Dipper as the most recognized starry object in the night sky. Legends and myths abound in all civilized cultures, all trying to understand the nature of this bright river of light. Yes, the Milky Way is

pretty bright…if you live in the mountains or a lake free from light pollution. But just a scant 100 years ago, there wasn’t any outdoor lighting, and everywhere the sky was

night sky meant a lot more to those ancient civilizations, and the star patterns were the source of timekeeping as well as folklore.

of our Galaxy is a lot like being

somewhere in a forest and trying to determine where, and what the forest looks like.Until the early 1900s, the

whole Universe was thought to be all the stars we see at night—all contained within the Milky Way. But astronomers like Edwin Hubble and Harlow Shapley determined what we call the Milky Way Galaxy is just one of hundreds of millions of large, spinning aggregates of stars called galaxies.It was quickly realized in the

20th Century that the clumpy star

Summer and Autumn skies is one of several arms of a pinwheel-‐shaped galaxy. Whether we had four, six or eight tentacle-‐like arms emanated form a spinning central disk has been the mainstream debate about our Galaxy for more than half a century. As you look toward the south

in Sagittarius, you are seeing the center of our Galaxy. Most of

our star island is unseen to us as the nearby stellar arm obscures most of the Galaxy structure. The arm that crosses our sky has been called the “Perseus Arm” and this is what we call the “Milky Way.”When astronomers started

using photography to survey the night sky, they began putting the pieces together and saw other arms of the Galaxy. The image evolved to maybe just a four arm Galaxy. In the late 1990s new data

from exotic astronomical satellites were hinting that we were a non-‐conventional shaped galaxy. Then came the era of the Spitzer Space Telescope, another of NASA’s great space observatories that revolutionized our way of thinking about our home Galaxy.The latest concept of our

Milky Way Galaxy is a giant bar of stars with two main arms of stars curling around like long whips. We are maybe 100,000 Light Years across, or may even 200,000 Light Years across—it’s hard to tell. But we are razor thin at only 1,000 Light Years thick at the central bulge, and less than 100 Light Years in the starry arms. The entire structure of 100-‐200 billion stars rotates once every 100-‐300 million years, depending on how far from the middle. Our Solar System is between

two arms in a thin offshoot of stars called the Orion-‐Cygnus arm. We are maybe just 30,000 Light Years, or two-‐thirds the distance from the center of the Galaxy. A thick bar of stars comes out of the lens-‐shaped central bulge. The very center of the Galaxy is marked by an intense radio source that is suspected to be a super massive black hole. That’s just one of the many discoveries made by the

Best Time for Milky Way is Now

Continued on page 23


Spitzer Space Telescope. Our “barred spiral” galaxy

is just one kind of several

galaxies in the Universe. The

spirals, barred spirals, egg-‐shaped elliptical, and those irregular in shape. There are galaxies colliding with each other, and some that have ripped through each other, leaving a wake of jumbled stellar stars. No doubt the amazing

Hubble Space Telescope has revolutionized our visual concept of galaxies, and blown us away by the sheer number of star islands in the Universe. One Hubble image, called the Ultra-‐Deep Sky Survey, shows 3,000 galaxy images in an area of the sky the size of our Moon—only a half-‐degree across. This image of what was thought to be an “empty” part of the Universe has been called one of a handful of photos that have changed the thinking of mankind. But a real breakthrough

has been made with another amazing space observatory of

America’s NASA—the Spitzer Space Telescope.The Spitzer Space Telescope

was lofted into orbit in August of 2003. It consists of a telescope and three science instruments, including the Infrared Array Camera, the primary instrument used for the new survey, known as GLIMPSE for Galactic Legacy Mid-‐Plane Survey Extraordinaire. It worked its primary mission until 2009 when coolant for the infrared camera ran out, and now it’s on an extended “warm” mission until the directional gyroscopes give out. Just like an infrared camera

can see “inside” a house to observe the heat images of humans behind roofs and walls, Spitzer could see through star clouds that obscured the other side of our Galaxy. Those fans of the hit television

sitcom Big Bang Theory might like to know those “nerds” are at the campus of California Institute of Technology. NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL), Pasadena, Calif., manages the Spitzer Space Telescope mission. JPL also manages many

other space projects, like the Mars rovers Opportunity and Curiosity. We are at a time in science

history when many disciplines are crossing gray lines to help understand our entire cosmos. Astronomers, physicist and biologists are all merging their data and looking at the biggest

mystery of all: Are we alone in the Universe?And with 100s of billions of

stars in just our own Galaxy, which probably have thousands of billions of planets around them…and then there are billions of galaxies with hundreds of billions of more stars and trillions of planets...

Well, somebody has to sort out all these life-‐in-‐the-‐Universe issues. Personally, with all these galaxies of stars, I think it’s pretty scary to think that life on Earth would be alone! So get outside, look up at the

Milky Way, and wave. Chances are good somebody is waving back.



Celestial events in the skies for the week of Sept. 24-‐30, 2013, as compiled for The Loafer by Mark D. Marquette.

-‐ing that abrupt change from the hot Summer. And any experienced stargazer has to only look to the northeast and see the four stars of the Great Square of Pegasus to realize that there’s no turning back, the leafy mountains and lively meadows will soon be a dormant landscape in the seasonal cold. Not only can you tell the seasons by the constellations, but a life-‐long skywatcher can get pretty close to the time of

night by looking up.

Happy 83rd birthday to moonwalker John Young, born on this 1930 date in San Francisco. One of NASA’s

corps, Young has blasted into space six times, including two Gemini missions, two Apollo missions to the Moon (orbited in Apollo 10 and landed in Apollo 16), and two Space Shuttle missions. He claims the

Columbia was the most dangerous of his career. Young was chief of the astronaut corps for 13 years, and became NASA’s biggest critic after the 1986 fatal Challenger launch explosion, leading to his retirement. John Young has been in the Tri-‐Cities several times the past 20 years as a speaker, so you might have met this legend of space

travel.

The Great Square of Pegasus looms huge above the northeast skies at 9 pm, its four stars of about equal 2nd magnitude brightness. The fabled horse is laying upside down, his head to the right, or south, and tail to the left. But the tail is actually the dress of the chained maiden, Andromeda, whose head is the fourth and northern

most star of the Great Square, called Alpheratz.

The Moon is at Last Quarter just before midnight at 11:56 pm. Another beautiful scene as the Moon is at the feet of Gemini and near the club of Orion. The red star Betelgeuse is to the right of the Moon, and yellowish Jupiter is to the left, with two

bright stars further left, Castor and Pollux.

Sunrise today is at 5:51 am, and sunset is 5:51 pm, mak-‐ing this a truly a day of equal day and equal night—an

equinox. Due to the inexact rhythm of the calendar, this day doesn’t line up with the Autumnal Equinox we had on Sept. 22. Just the same, the

the daylight—something amateur astronomers have

no complaint over. Photo by Mark D. Marquette.

A spectacular morning scene at 5 am: the crescent Moon is next to bright planet Jupiter in Gemini while nearby to

the right the brilliant stars of Orion the Hunter rise above

the eastern horizon.

In the early evening, looking north there will be a group of stars making a “W” pattern that

magnitude stars of Cassiopeia the Queen. She is a circumpolar constellation, never setting below the horizon and opposite the Big Dipper. The

North Star and Little Dipper are between Cassio-‐peia and the Big Dipper.

The last day of the month brings darkness by 7:45 pm, but at least we still have Daylight Sav-‐ing Time. That changes Sunday Nov. 3 when we fall back to a 23 hour day and Eastern Standard Time—making it dark at 6:30 pm! Go outside this week, look up at the stars and listen to the rustling of the leaves in the trees and at your feet. Take in the cool air of the night and let your eyes unwind to the night sky…It’ll do you some good.


At last the heat has given way and glorious Fall has arrived. I love Fall, I love this time of year in general. September through December is my favorite period out of any given point of the year. Outside of the act of changing the page on the calendar, I knew that Fall was coming by the sight

sudden appearance on Facebook of status updates all about the arrival

wondered if “PSL” was a new type of disease that was going around. Perhaps that kind that requires that sad Sara McLaughlin song, and a request for money. It turns out it was about the early arrival of Pumpkin Spice Lattes, the popular seasonal drink at Starbucks. The other was the arrival of

the season monster breakfast cereals at the grocery store. Much

in the way others celebrated the return of Pumpkin Spice Lattes, I celebrated the return of Count Chocula and Boo Berry. Why? Because I am secretly twelve years old on the inside. Halloween is a big part of Fall for me. In the Ross clan, Halloween is just as big as Christmas, and in the Andy Ross sector of the Ross clan, we get all geeked up over watching as many crazy 1950s and 1960s horror/

I’m already mentally salivating over a double feature of Hush...Hush, Sweet Charlotte with the

Two

on a Guillotine. Fall, more than any other

season, tends to kick up some very key memories. The memory of a crisp, Autumn wind running through my hair, as I drove around Nashville with my windows

down, listening to Revolver by The Beatles. The memory of being taken to a corn maze, not told what type of clothes I should wear, and loosing a pair of slip on shoes in the process. Fall fashion excites me as well, I think I dress better when it’s time for layers and sweaters. Also I tend to sweat at the drop of a hat, so the cooler temperatures are quite welcomed. There’s nothing quite like walking around and seeing the world slowly turn into the pages of an L.L. Bean catalog. But really it’s the thought of

my Fall/Halloween movies that get me going the most. There’s something about the combination of the weather, nights lasting

My Blood

Runs Cold that just makes for a visual cocktail of the most perfect proportions. Our own Jim Kelly will no doubt do his annual look at

I might chime in with one or two, as I can’t help but already think of all the goodies out there. It seems just when you think you’ve seen every crazy 1960s B movie there is, more are magically unearthed. Much like Santa Claus, come

late August, I’m going over my movie library, making a list, and checking it twice. Opening up the box set of 1950s and early ‘60s

getting excited about the treasures inside. Monster on the Campus?

The Monolith

Monsters

moving to the other Halloween fare. The Alligator People, The Ghost in The Invisible Bikini,

The Hypnotic Eye, The Ghost of

Dragstrip Hollow, the list goes on and on. Not to mention my beloved box set of the works by William Castle, one of the great delights of movie making. A man whose movies all feel like a fun haunted house ride, and whose

So yes, at long last Fall has arrived, and we can begin the cycling of our long sleeved clothes towards the front, and moving our short sleeved clothes to the back of our closets. So here’s to the falling leaves, the fun sized candy bars appearing in shops, the seasonal coffee drinks, and the joy of movies with names like The Deadly Mantis. See you next week.

The Arrival of Fall


I have never been a huge fan of

I must set all my preferences aside

preconceived notions . I will say, the preview for the new

actually made me excited to see the English-‐language French crime comedy.

De Niro and Michelle Pfeiffer, only adds to the “must see” quota.

Giovanni Maznoni, who was believed to have performed a harmful act toward fellow crime kingpin Don Luchese (Stan Carp). When Luchese attempts to take out the Maznoni family, Maznoni snitches on Luchese, and he winds up in prison. After Maznoni helps send Luchese to

prison, he and his family are placed in the witness protection program, and are renamed the Blakes. After the family is relocated to Normandy, France, they are

(Tommy Lee Jones), who has in turn appointed a couple of fellow agents to keep a close watch on them. As the family attempts to become

acclimated to their new home, they begin behaving like true mobsters, wreaking havoc in the local town and school, all while trying to remain under the radar. Maznoni, know called Fred Blake,

makes matters more complicated for

himself when he tells a neighbor he is a novelist. Meanwhile, his wife Maggie (Pfeiffer), is making her own mark in the community, but mostly in a negative way. As for their kids, Belle (Dianna

Agron) and Warren (John D’Leo), they are making quite the statement at their new school. Warren is bullied in the beginning, but eventually practically runs the school, while Belle has designs on a college student who is substitute teaching at the school. Just as the Blakes think they may be

able to stay in Normandy for awhile, Luchese, in a freakish occurrence, discovers where the family is and the game is on.

comedy, and thrills, and director Luc Besson (“Taken”) sets just the right atmosphere for the story. The few interactions between Jones and De Niro are especially enjoyable, and the ever serious Jones proves a great foil for De Niro’s character. The always excellent Pfeiffer makes a great mob wife, something she has done prior, and has nice screen chemistry with De Niro. The younger stars more than hold

their own with their mega co-‐stars, as “Glee” star Agron proves she has the acting chops and screen presence to take on the best. “The Family” has just the right mix

of humor and action to provide a fun time with a family that is anything but average. (Rated R) B+

The Family


Inspiration for this column appears in some very strange and unexpected places, like inside an elevator. Needless to say I was attracted (and distracted) by Rebecca Rosen’s column that appeared in last Thursday’s online issue of The Atlantic, “On This Day in 1984, former President Gerald Ford Was Temporarily Trapped in an Elevator.” This news sounded a lot more interesting than the usual and tiresome accounts of Congressional gridlock, so I

as I could about this obviously

The story is pretty simple. On his way to make a speech at the University of Pennsylvania’s Van Pelt-‐Dietrich Library, former President Ford was trapped for only a few minutes in the Library’s elevator “somewhere

maintenance person—but not before the Secret Service quite understandably engaged in “a barrage of activity.” Rosen’s column title repeats what is found on a commemorative

the historical elevator. Although Rosen didn’t mention it in her column, I can bet there are some people who plan their vacations to Pennsylvania just so they can ride in this elevator. Undoubtedly Gerald Ford now has the dubious distinction of being the only United States President, former or otherwise, to be trapped in an elevator. This column is not about

being trapped in an elevator,

however, but takes its cue from the aforementioned Gerald Ford story. While suffering from his very brief ordeal, we can imagine Jerry pressing the Open Door button repeatedly to no avail. That’s probably because the button didn’t work. Which brings us to the subject of this week’s column—familiar things that don’t work or don’t work as expected.First on the list is the all-‐too-‐

familiar elevator Door Close/Open button. According to a very

interesting little piece in Cracked.com, most of these buttons don’t work, not because of some electrical malfunction but because they were never intended to work. These buttons, says elevator maintenance specialist John Menville, are “just there to give people the illusion of control.” That’s right—they do absolutely nothing, and should be categorized as “button placebos.” And elevator buttons are not the only buttons that don’t work—apparently most crosswalk buttons are nonfunctional as well. Christina H., author of the Cracked.com piece, informs us that these commonly-‐seen buttons trick us into thinking

patterns. The result is that “downtown districts are full of people pushing buttons that do nothing, and feeling very

thermostats. I bet you think these little plastic boxes are there to give you control over your workspace temperature. Wrong. Believe it our not, “90

do absolutely nothing.” In fact, in “an industry newsletter poll, 51 out of 70 respondents said they’d personally installed a fake thermostat.” I guess we should be happy that most of these little gadgets are fake because if they were real,

quickly rendered inoperable by

with their controls. So, let’s just

power of suggestion prevails over functionality when it comes to regulating the temperature of our workplaces.But, wait, there’s more. For

those of you who enjoy paranoia, you will be pleased to know that many, if not most, GPS systems are operating on faulty or at best outdated information. My take on this—and the reason I haven’t installed a GPS in my car—is that if you don’t know where you are, you have no business driving a car. And while we are on the subject of cars, keep in mind that your speedometer is probably not all that accurate either, along with your fuel gauge. Maybe I shouldn’t add that the same goes for most blood pressure cuffs. But I won’t say more for fear you will become stressed-‐out. We probably should take some small consolation in knowing that we live in an inaccurate universe, despite all our obsessions with

makes me feel a little better about being math-‐challenged.All this information about

fake and less-‐than-‐accurate gadgets reminds me of a scary little “Twilight Zone” episode,

aired on 4/24/64), that follows the harrowing experiences of a couple (played by Barry Nelson

themselves in a picturesque little town after a night of partying and several drinks too many. As their hangovers slowly wear off they discover that everything in the town is fake, like on a movie set. What they eventually come to realize, much to their horror, is that they have been whisked away to another planet and are now the playthings of a giant alien being; their small town with all its fake accoutrements is in fact a child’s playset. Stephen King used this episode as inspiration for his oversized novel Under The Dome. He should have taken his cue from Rod Serling, however, and told his story in less than half the pages he used.I’ll let you draw your own

conclusions about all this information. I found it quite interesting that the Cracked.com article about fakery and inaccuracy drew the ire of many readers who vehemently denied, in their online blogs, that the crosswalk and elevator buttons in their hometowns were fake. Of course, we should acknowledge that many of these buttons actually do work, along with some thermostats—except for

If you are reading this, you will know that the Send button on my Gmail account is apparently not fake. And I am very grateful for that.See you next week with

something a little more genuine.

A Tale of Gerald Ford, Elevator Buttons, and Thermostats

, The Loafer • September 24, 2013 www.theloaferonline.com

sept. 24, 2013

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