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session 5

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134 S E S S I O N 5 © 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

The PointStep in to keep a bad situation from getting worse.

The Bible Meets LifeFor the past four sessions, we have considered the things we can do to resolve

our conflicts with another person. What do we do, though, when we see

another’s conflict and they are not putting these principles into practice? What

if they are not taking the steps needed to properly resolve the conflict? The easy

path is to say, “It’s none of my business.” Consider what love would compel us to

do (Eph. 4:15). Christ lovingly confronts and helps us, and as His followers, we are

to follow His example and lovingly help others reconcile.

The Passage1 Samuel 25:14-17, 23-28, 32-35

The SettingWhile David was in the wilderness, he sought support from Nabal, for whom

David’s men had provided protection. When Nabal refused, David became angry

and set out for revenge. Nabal’s wife, Abigail, intervened with both wisdom and

diplomacy, keeping the conflict from becoming disastrous.

B i B l e S t u d i e S f o r l i f e 135© 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

1 Samuel 25:14-17,23-28,32-35 (HCSB)

14 one of nabal’s young men informed abigail, nabal’s wife: “look, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, but he yelled at them. 15 the men treated us well. When we were in the field, we weren’t harassed and nothing of ours was missing the whole time we were living among them. 16 they were a wall around us, both day and night, the entire time we were herding the sheep. 17 now consider carefully what you must do, because there is certain to be trouble for our master and his entire family. he is such a worthless fool nobody can talk to him!”

23 When abigail saw David, she quickly got off the donkey and fell with her face to the ground in front of David. 24 she fell at his feet and said, “the guilt is mine, my lord, but please let your servant speak to you directly. listen to the words of your servant. 25 my lord should pay no attention to this worthless man nabal, for he lives up to his name: his name is nabal, and stupidity is all he knows. i, your servant, didn’t see my lord’s young men whom you sent. 26 now my lord, as surely as the Lord lives and as you yourself live, it is the Lord who kept you from participating in bloodshed and avenging yourself by your own hand. may your enemies and those who want trouble for my lord be like nabal. 27 accept this gift your servant has brought to my lord, and let it be given to the young men who follow my lord. 28 Please forgive your servant’s offense, for the Lord is certain to make a lasting dynasty for my lord because he fights the Lord’s battles. throughout your life, may evil not be found in you.

32 then David said to abigail, “Praise to the Lord God of israel, who sent you to meet me today! 33 your discernment is blessed, and you are blessed. today you kept me from participating in bloodshed and avenging myself by my own hand. 34 otherwise, as surely as the Lord God of israel lives, who prevented me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me, nabal wouldn’t have had any men left by morning light.” 35 then David accepted what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. see, i have heard what you said and have granted your request.”

Key Words

Nabal (v. 14) – The Hebrew term means fool or foolish, from a word meaning to be senseless. This probably was not his given name but a distortion or nickname describing him.

The custom of hospitality– In David’s time, his request that Nabal supply food was not unreasonable nor considered extortion. Eastern hospitality, and Israelite law, included providing for needy people and outcasts. Sojourners (nomads) had a right to expect others’ hospitality.

What does the Bible say?


GEt iNto thE StuDY DISCUSS: Ask the opening question

on page 113 of the Personal Study Guide

(PSG): “How do you respond when

you hear, ‘It’s none of your

business’?”

SUMMARIZE: For the past four weeks,

we have considered things we can do to

resolve our conflicts with other people.

Today we’ll look at what we should do

when we see others in conflict who are

not putting these principles into practice.

SAY: “It’s painful when someone we care about is creating conflict. The easy path is to

say, ‘It’s none of my business.’ But sometimes it truly is our business.”

GUIDE: To find how one person struggled with this, call attention to “The Bible Meets

Life” section on page 114 of the PSG. Invite the group to find factors in the story that

would help them decide what to do in this situation.

READ: Invite a volunteer to read The Point on page 114 of the PSG: “Step in to

keep a bad situation from getting worse.”

ENHANCEMENT: As you introduce Abigail and Nabal, highlight the theme of this

six-session study, using Pack Item 5: “When Relationships Collide.”

TRANSITION: Though we should not step into every conflict around us, today we’ll

see that there are times that we could and should intervene to help others.

PRAY: Invite God to show us when to step in, how to step in, and what words to use

when He has guided us to step in.

Notes

10 minutes

B i B l e S t u d i e S f o r l i f e 137

thE PoiNt Step in to keep a bad situation from getting worse.

© 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

Notes

1 Samuel 25:14-17

14 One of Nabal’s young men informed Abigail, Nabal’s wife: “Look, David

sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, but he yelled

at them. 15 The men treated us well. When we were in the field, we weren’t

harassed and nothing of ours was missing the whole time we were living

among them. 16 They were a wall around us, both day and night, the entire

time we were herding the sheep. 17 Now consider carefully what you must do,

because there is certain to be trouble for our master and his entire family. He

is such a worthless fool nobody can talk to him!”

READ: Invite a volunteer to read 1 Samuel 25:14-17 on page 115 of the PSG.

GUIDE: To find what led up to this moment of conflict, direct group members to

review the “1 Samuel 25:14-17” section on page 116 of the PSG. Ask the group to

identify the actions of the young man.

SAY: “Nabal had a wise servant who obviously did not feel Nabal would respond

wisely to this conflict. Both had a role in wisely stepping in to help.”

DISCUSS: Question #2 on page 116 of the PSG: “What’s the difference

between tattling and giving someone information to keep a bad

situation from becoming worse?”

TRANSITION: In the next verses we’ll discover how Abigail stepped in.

StuDY thE BiBLE

tip: Create an environment where everyone feels free to add to discussion. Stress that everyone’s questions and ideas are worth hearing.

5 minutes


1 Samuel 25:14-17 Commentary

First Samuel 25 opens with the account of Samuel’s death and burial, a time of national mourning

for Israel’s gifted leader. David went to the Wilderness of Paran, an area south of Judah. In Maon,

a village in the hill country of Judah, lived an extremely rich man named Nabal, who was shearing

sheep in Carmel, a village in Judah about seven miles south of Hebron. The name “Nabal” means foolish

(intellectually and/or ethically). Whatever his mother originally named him, others who interacted with

him probably gave him a distorted nickname because of his senseless decisions and behavior. True to

his nickname, Nabal was “harsh [hard] and evil [ethically wicked] in his dealings” (1 Sam. 25:3). In

contrast, his wife was intelligent.

David and his men protected Nabal’s shepherds in Carmel. David’s men prevented raids on Nabal’s

servants and sheep. Nabal’s young men could verify David’s protection. David’s young men were to ask

Nabal to contribute what he could afford for David and his men. Usually, at the end of shearing season

an owner would give a feast and invite his neighbors to participate. David referred to his men as Nabal’s

servants. David’s reference to himself as Nabal’s son expressed respect and good relationship (vv. 4-8).

True to his character as surly and mean, Nabal feigned to have no knowledge of David and referred to

him and his men as a renegade band of runaway slaves, perhaps implying David had rebelled against

Saul, David’s rightful master. His repeated use of “my” to describe his resources expressed his arrogant

selfishness (vv. 9-11). David ordered his men to arm themselves and set out with about 400 men.

One of Nabal’s servants reported to Abigail, Nabal’s wife, the exchange between David’s delegation

and her husband. The wise young man accurately conveyed what had occurred. David’s messengers

had greeted Nabal; they had saluted or blessed him with a wish for prosperity and health. Nabal had

yelled (screamed, shrieked) at them. He flew into a rage; in today’s vernacular, “he lost it.” David’s

blessing had met with loud insult. The servant echoed and gave credence to the statement of David’s

men to Nabal. David’s force had not harassed (insulted, humiliated) Nabal’s men but had treated

them well (had been extremely good or kind to them). David’s men formed a protective barrier against

would-be raiders.

The young man then advised Abigail to consider carefully her course of action. Nabal’s insulting

response to David’s delegation certainly would bring severe reprisal for Nabal and his entire family.

Surprisingly, the young man described his master as a worthless fool—a good-for-nothing person

(literally, “a son of Belial”; reckless, lawless, ill-natured, wicked, godless). Nabal was beyond reason, so

no one could approach him to talk sensibly with him. Nabal’s young servant demonstrated remarkable

wisdom and courage. To address his master’s wife and give her advice was a daring act.




Notes

1 Samuel 25:23-28

23 When Abigail saw David, she quickly got off the donkey and fell with her

face to the ground in front of David. 24 She fell at his feet and said, “The

guilt is mine, my lord, but please let your servant speak to you directly.

Listen to the words of your servant. 25 My lord should pay no attention to

this worthless man Nabal, for he lives up to his name: His name is Nabal,

and stupidity is all he knows. I, your servant, didn’t see my lord’s young

men whom you sent. 26 Now my lord, as surely as the Lord lives and as you

yourself live, it is the Lord who kept you from participating in bloodshed and

avenging yourself by your own hand. May your enemies and those who want

trouble for my lord be like Nabal. 27 Accept this gift your servant has brought

to my lord, and let it be given to the young men who follow my lord. 28 Please

forgive your servant’s offense, for the Lord is certain to make a lasting

dynasty for my lord because he fights the Lord’s battles. Throughout your

life, may evil not be found in you.


SAY: “Abigail chose to act wisely. Her husband Nabal chose to be foolish.”

GUIDE: Call attention to the “1 Samuel 25:23-28” section on page 117 of the PSG.

Ask group members to identify the qualities of Abigail that helped her intervene.

DISCUSS: Question #3 on page 117 of the PSG: “What prevents us from

stopping a ‘train wreck’ in someone’s life?”

ENHANCEMENT: Use Pack Item 7: “Conflict” to add another facet to

understanding conflict.

TRANSITION: In the next verses we’ll discover David’s responses to Abigail

stepping into the conflict.

StuDY thE BiBLE10 minutes

14 0 S E S S I O N 5 © 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay


Abigail responded quickly. She had servants gather food and wine and load the supplies on donkeys.

The food would not have fed 600 men and David for an extended period, but it was a sizable peace

offering. Abigail told her male servants to precede her with the gift as she went to find David and his

men. She did not send word to Nabal. Unseen by David and his force (v. 20), Abigail and her servants

approached him. David stewed over Nabal’s insulting response to the polite request for provisions.

David felt he had protected Nabal for nothing; Nabal had repaid David’s good with evil. With a strong

oath, David swore he would annihilate Nabal and his men. The text may imply that Abigail and her

servants encountered David and his men suddenly and somewhat unexpectedly (vv. 18-22).

Abigail’s gathering supplies without Nabal’s permission and meeting David privately were not

customary in her time. Her actions demonstrated she grasped the gravity of the situation and the

need for swift, if almost unprecedented, steps. Abigail quickly began her attempt to defuse the volatile

conflict situation. She referred to herself as David’s servant (handmaid), one who was subservient to

David as her superior. One interpretation of her opening statement, “The guilt is mine, my lord,”

is that it was a diplomatic conversation starter with a superior. It was an expression of courtesy, not

of guilt. An alternate view is that she accepted guilt (punishment, consequences) for her husband’s

insulting treatment of David. Abigail made no attempt to excuse Nabal’s actions. She asked that David

pay no attention to her husband, describing him as a worthless man (literally, “man of Belial”) who

was living up to his name. She implied that had she known, she might have prevented Nabal’s insult.

Abigail’s words, “As surely as the Lord lives and as you yourself live,” could be taken as an oath

enforcing her next assertion that God arranged her meeting with David. Abigail declared that, through

her, God had intervened to prevent David from participating in bloodshed and avenging himself

by his own hand. If David killed Nabal and his servants, David would incur bloodguilt. In Leviticus

19:18, God through Moses commanded the Israelites not to take revenge. Earlier, David had restrained

himself from killing Saul (1 Sam. 24:1-7). Abigail asked David to accept the gift she had brought. The

Hebrew word for gift she used means blessing in the sense of a present. She asked David to distribute

the food to the men in his band who accompanied him. The gift was designed to meet David’s earlier

request (25:8) and to remove the sting of Nabal’s insults in refusing the request.

Abigail assured David that when enemies pursued him with the intention of killing him, God would

preserve his life. David would “be tucked safely in the place where … God protects the living” (v. 29)—

literally, “be bound up in the bundle of the living with … God.” David’s safety lay in his relationship with

God. God also would disperse his enemies as one would place a stone in a sling’s cup to hurl it (v. 29).




Notes

1 Samuel 25:32-35

32 Then David said to Abigail, “Praise to the Lord God of Israel, who sent

you to meet me today! 33 Your discernment is blessed, and you are blessed.

Today you kept me from participating in bloodshed and avenging myself

by my own hand. 34 Otherwise, as surely as the Lord God of Israel lives, who

prevented me from harming you, if you had not come quickly to meet me,

Nabal wouldn’t have had any men left by morning light.” 35 Then David

accepted what she had brought him and said, “Go home in peace. See, I have

heard what you said and have granted your request.”


SAY: “David’s anger was justified. Nabal was a fool. But shedding innocent blood

was not the solution to this conflict.”

GUIDE: Direct group members to evaluate how David responded to Abigail and

why. Use the “1 Samuel 25:32-35” section on pages 118-119 of the PSG.

DISCUSS: Question #4 on page 118 of the PSG: “What does Abigail’s story

teach us about how to step in?”

DO: Guide the group to complete “Step In...or Step Away” on page 118 of the PSG.

A coworker is about to make a decision that will hurt his chance for a promotion.

I believe I should step in/I should step away because ________________.

A neighbor is painting his house an ugly color and the other neighbors hate it. I

believe I should step in/I should step away because ________________.

Two church members disagree over a church budget issue. I believe I should

step in/I should step away because _____________________________.

DISCUSS: Question #5 on page 119 of the PSG: “What does it take to step

in and get involved?”

TRANSITION: We’ll conclude by seeing how God might call us to get involved.

StuDY thE BiBLE15 minutes



To his credit, David saw the wisdom of Abigail’s words. He responded with three beatitudes (blessings).

First, He saw God at work in their encounter and offered praise to Israel’s sovereign, covenant God.

His title contained two names for God: Yahweh and Elohim. The combination stressed God’s covenant-

making and covenant-keeping as well as His power. David pronounced God as blessed. Although

Abigail was instrumental in turning David from his murderous course, God was directing the action.

Second, David pronounced Abigail’s discernment (advice, judgment, discretion) to be praiseworthy

(blessed). She had seen clearly the dangerous implications of David’s intentions—for others as well as

for himself—and had acted to persuade him to forgo revenge. Thus, with a third beatitude he pronounced

a blessing on her. With an echo of Abigail’s previous statement (see v. 26), David acknowledged the

magnitude of what she had done for him: She (with God’s guidance) had kept him from taking part

in bloodshed and from exacting personal revenge. Through Abigail, God taught David a valuable

lesson: Violence leads to increased violence; restraint can lead to non-violent resolution. Whether David

applied the lesson in the future would be up to him.

With a strong oath, David acknowledged that if God had not intervened to prevent him from exacting

revenge, by morning Nabal and all his men would have been dead. Providentially, God had kept David

from harming Abigail as she approached him. Furthermore, had she not acted quickly to intercede

for peaceful resolution, and had David not heeded her advice, a bloodbath would have resulted. David

accepted the gift of provisions Abigail had brought. His bidding her to go home in peace meant more

than an assurance that the conflict was resolved; she could have a sense of well-being because of God’s

working through her. David had been attentive to (heard and obeyed) her advice.

Totally unaware of the drama that played out between Abigail and David, Nabal was indulging himself.

When Abigail returned home, she found Nabal hosting a lavish feast. Evidently buoyed by the results

of his sheep-sheering, he celebrated by becoming “very drunk” (v. 36). He was in no condition to hold

an intelligent conversation, so Abigail waited until the next morning when he sobered up to relate her

meeting with David. Her shocking report caused Nabal to have a seizure, perhaps a stroke (literally, “his

heart died within him”), and to become paralyzed (literally, “became a stone”). So severe was Nabal’s

shock that “about 10 days later,” he died. The biblical writer recognized God’s hand in all that occurred,

from Abigail’s willingness to “Step In” to resolve the conflict all the way to Nabal’s death (vv. 37-38). On

learning of Nabal’s death, David praised God for vindicating David and punishing Nabal. David praised

God for preventing him from committing wrong. David sent messengers to ask Abigail to marry him.




Notes

LiVE it outSUMMARIZE: Our author felt led by God to speak with the young man whose

story began our session. The young man listened politely but chose to still see the

girl. Later, however, he realized she was not a good fit for the direction he wanted

to take his life. He began to make better choices, and today he continues to live his

life to honor Christ. Three actions to take when deciding whether to step in are:

Give permission. Give someone permission to step in if you are about to make

a bad decision.

Seek advice. If you’re not sure if you should step into someone else’s problem,

ask the advice of someone you trust.

Intervene diplomatically. Say what needs to be said with humility

and respect.

Wrap It Up

SAY: “Let God lead as you step in to keep a bad situation from

getting worse.”

5 minutes

14 4 S E S S I O N 5 © 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

My group's prayer requests

Additional suggestions for specific groups (women, men, parents, boomers, and singles)

are available at BibleStudiesforLife.com/blog.

Not So Fast

Whenever Monty and Carla have a conflict, Carla bolts.

In their first session with Monty and Carla (married one year), Tim and Britney (married 14 years) jumped right in to explain how destructive avoiding conflict can be. “If you run from your problems, Carla, you’ll never resolve them— you’ll create loose ends that eat away at your marriage,” Tim said. “You’ve got to discuss issues.” With that, Carla broke into tears and walked away from the meeting.

to continue reading “not so fast” from HomeLife magazine, visit BibleStudiesforLife.com/articles.

B i B l e S t u d i e S f o r l i f e 145© 2013 LifeWay© 2013 LifeWay

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