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More people finding Valentines via online dating sites

By AMANDA REAVY ([email protected])

THE STATE JOURNAL-REGISTER

Posted Feb 13, 2011 @ 11:30 PM

Last update Feb 14, 2011 @ 12:12 AM

Joe Buchanan hoped to broaden his romantic horizons when he ventured into the world of online dating more than eight

years ago.

“It just felt like all of my friends were dating each other’s friends and then they ’d end up getting married, and I really wanted

something beyond that,” recalled Buchanan, 32, who lived in his native Ontario at the time. “I really didn’t think I would

move out of the country , though.”

But a chance encounter with the former Melissa Suprenant of Chatham on a small dating website called Romantic Planet in

April 2003 changed those thoughts.

The two struck up a friendship, followed by a long-distance romance that spanned two years. Buchanan received his U.S.

v isa just before the couple’s December 2005 wedding in Springfield.

The pair is now happily married, liv ing in Springfield with their two dogs, Biscuit and Gravy .

“Fate brought us both to that website,” Buchanan says. “Our journey certainly hasn’t been an easy one, and it took so much

just for us to be together, but I truly believe that love is always worth it.”

The origin of the Buchanans’ love story is getting more common all the time.

1 in 6 married couples

A marriage survey commissioned by the dating website Match.com found that 1 in 6 married couples in the last three years

met each other on an online dating site.

Local couples who met their spouse online credit dating websites with forming connections that never would have occurred

otherwise.

Nicci and Mark Estill of Dawson lived nearly 60 miles apart when online dating gave them each a second chance at love.

Both had been married prev iously when they joined Match.com in 2007 .

“Dating in the world these days is extremely hard to do, and the older we get, there seems to be less decent options and/or

opportunities,” said Nicci, 42.

She joined Match.com for a 30-day trial period. On the day her membership expired, she received a message from Mark.

“I don’t know if it was God’s will or luck, but I told him it was love at first sight. When I saw his picture, I thought, ‘He’s

mine,’” Nicci recalled.

Mark, 49, said he was struck by Nicci’s smile. He had been on Match.com for a few months before finding Nicci.

“I don’t drink, so I don’t hang out in bars, so I thought if I want to meet somebody , it would be a good way ,” Mark said.

Within a day of receiv ing that message, Nicci, who lived in Heyworth at the time, and Mark each drove to Lincoln to meet at

a local restaurant. That was followed by a walk in a park.

“We became best friends, and then I just knew that I was going to marry that girl,” Mark said.

The couple drove back and forth to v isit one another three times a week before Nicci decided to move to Dawson. The Estills

were married on Aug. 8, 2008.

Nicci said it was hard to leave Heyworth and uproot her teenaged son, but she’s never been happier.

“Mark is my best friend and soulmate,” Nicci said.

For Andrea and Jason Parsons of Jacksonville, online sparks led to a whirlwind courtship four years ago.

Andrea, 29, was liv ing in Litchfield when her sister encouraged her to try the dating website Plenty of Fish.

“I had never done anything like that before,” Andrea said.

Her expectations were low. “I had just got out of a bad relationship, so I was not looking for anything serious.”

Soon, however, she received a message from Jason, 38. The two bonded over their similar senses of humor, love of 1980s

music and interest in aquariums. They also each had two children from prev ious relationships.

The pair talked on the phone for two months before Jason made the trip to Litchfield. Andrea brought her brother and best

friend along for their first date.

“We fell in love that day , pretty much,” Andrea said.

“I told her brother that night, ‘There’s something about your sister I haven’t quite figured out yet, but I really like it,’” Jason

said.

Ring in fish tank

Two weeks later, Jason proposed to Andrea by hiding a ring in the treasure box at the bottom of his fish tank.

Jason, who worked nights at the time, then made the hour-plus drive each morning to Litchfield to visit her until she moved

to Jacksonville.

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The couple got married on Feb. 13, 2009 at the Sangamon County Courthouse. They also have a daughter together.

“We’re like the Brady Bunch,” Andrea said of their blended family . “It is a crazy story , but I’m so glad it happened.”

For the Buchanans, the fact that Joe was in a different country made their efforts to be together far more difficult.

“I never thought I’d meet him in person when we started talking. I mean, he lived 12 hours away ,” said Melissa, 35. “But

after a while, we were exchanging 10-page emails and we just had a world of things to talk about.”

Joe drove to Springfield to meet Melissa and her family in August 2003. She made the trip to Ontario two months later.

From that point on, their relationship became serious.

The couple couldn’t go on traditional dates, so they ’d rent the same movies and watch them together over the phone. When

Melissa v isited Canada in December 2004, Joe proposed.

He then started the arduous process of getting a v isa to move to the United States. During that period, he couldn’t come to

see Melissa, and paperwork delays forced the couple to push their wedding date back by a month.

Joe finally arrived in Springfield just two nights before their wedding.

But the pair said the obstacles made them stronger as a couple.

“We appreciate each other that much more because of what it took to get us here today,” Joe Buchanan said.

***

Online dating by the numbers

In 2009 and early 2010, Match.com commissioned research firm Chadwick Martin Bailey to conduct surveys on marriage

and online dating. These studies found:

*17 percent of couples married in the last three years, or 1 in 6, met each other on an online dating site.

*In the last year, more than twice as many marriages occurred between people who met on online dating sites than those

who met in bars, clubs and other social events combined.

*1 out of 5 single people have dated someone they met on an online dating site

*1 out of 5 people in a new committed relationship (including marriage) met their significant other on an online dating site.

Safety tips

Most dating websites offer safety tips to help users avoid bad experiences. Here’s a compilation:

*Protect your personal information

Guard your full name, personal phone number and email address, home address place of work and other identify ing

information until trust is established. Remain anonymous until you feel comfortable.

*Use good judgment

Remember it is possible for people to misrepresent themselves online. Don't ignore facts that seem inconsistent or

suspicious. Trust your instincts and if something feels off, end communication. Watch out for someone who wants to speed

up the pace of your relationship beyond your comfort level, asks inappropriate questions, is too pushy , gives vague answers

to questions or tries to persuade you to compromise your principles.

*Beware of scammers

Be leery of someone who asks for money , financial assistance or help with personal transactions, such as depositing funds or

shipping merchandise, particularly if you have not met in person. Never send money to someone or give out your credit

card number or bank information.

*Don’t be afraid to do your own research

Most dating sites do not perform background checks on users. Users are urged to use the Internet and government

resources that are publicly available to find out more about a potential match. Get to know someone online before you

agree to meet him or her in person.

*Be cautious during a first meeting

When meeting someone for the first time, always meet in a public location and tell a friend or family member about your

plans. Use your own transportation to and from the meeting, even during long-distance meetings. If you have a cell phone,

keep it on you. Stay sober and avoid situations that impair your judgment. Don’t leave personal items unattended and keep

your drink with you at all times.

*Report bad behavior

Block any users who are abusive or pressure you for personal or financial information. And report your concerns to the

dating website.

-- Sources: Match.com, eHarmony.com and plentyoffish.com

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