SOCIAL – EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

College Completion Rates

55.5 % of students who begin a bachelor’s degree finish in 6 years.

29.2 % of students who begin an associate’s degree finish in 3 years.

* 2013 The National Center for Higher Education Management Systems

Of 34 countries studied, the US is ranked 8th in college access, but 33rd in college completion.

* From IYI Presentation by Dennis Bumgarner, “Grit: A Key Ingredient of College Success”

Social Emotional Intelligence

What characteristics separate those who finish and those

who do not?Self-discipline / Delay gratification / Will

power

Frustration tolerance / Ability to overcome adversity / Persistence

Passion / Zest / Curiosity / Interest

Stanford Marshmallow Experiment

Self Discipline and Delay of Gratification

The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment indicates that self discipline and the ability to delay gratification correlate with later

success.

Today’s kids grow up in a culture which emphasizes instant gratification.

Social-emotional skills, like the ability to delay gratification, can be developed at any age.

Keys to Developing Social-Emotional Skills

Understanding:

1. The center of control in all of us is internal

2. The power of habits

Center of ControlThings we have to do: Things we can choose to do:___________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ _______________________________________ ____________________

Most of the things we think we have to do are really choices!

Sometimes we choose to give others people or institutions control. This can be based on trust or evaluation of the consequences.

People Are Like Cars* All of us are on the road of life.* Faced with choices, adversity, actions of others. * Sometimes we lend our keys to others.* Sometimes we let others drive our car

without realizing it.* Cars drive on four wheels: actions, thoughts,

feeling, physiology. When one changes direction, others change also.

* Control the front wheels (actions and thoughts) and the back wheels (feelings & physiology) will follow.

Be the Driver of Your Own Car

* Drive your own car! Don’t go along for a ride while someone else drives your car.

* Get a tune up every once in awhile.

Establishing Good Driving Habits

Use the power of habit to change:

Remind yourself that you are in control

Increase persistenceStrengthen will powerLook for alternativesMany other behaviors and mind sets

How Do Habits Become So Powerful?

Everything we do and think is governed by brain synapses - electrical impulses firing across spaces between cells in the brain.

Synaptic pathways develop from repeated patterns of brain synapses.

The more a pathway is used, the easier it is for impulses to travel that route.

When synaptic pathways are worn-in, a behavior or thought process becomes almost automatic, practically instinctive.

How to Establish a New Habit

1. One at a Time - It’s easy to start a habit, or even several at once, sticking to them is much more difficult. It requires a lot of focus. Put all your focus on one new habit!

2. A Tiny Habit - Do not focus on the results (ie: better grades) for now. Focus on establishing the habit (ie: 10 minutes of homework).

3. Once a Day - Only do the habit once a day. Once the habit is ingrained (after at least three weeks), you can expand.

4. Focus on Starting – The part that matters most in the first few weeks is just starting the behavior. For now, put all your effort into just opening the book and reading the first few lines, or typing the first sentence, or turning your cell phone off.

5. Find a reward - Feel good about doing it. Consciously feel powerful and proud about following through. Tell someone who will give you positive feedback. Give yourself a small treat.

How to Establish a New Habit

6. What Your thoughts - Pay attention to negative thoughts: feelings of discouragement, rationalizing reasons to quit, or other negative self-talk. Understand this is a defense mechanism for avoiding discomfort. Don’t let these thoughts have power over you. Tell yourself you know it’s going to be uncomfortable, but that you’re strong enough to do it.

7. Don’t Miss Two Straight Days - If you let yourself miss a day, be absolutely sure, incredibly and powerfully sure, that you don’t miss a day again.

8. Be accountable - Tell at least one other person about your habit change, and ask them to keep you accountable. A group of 4-5 is even better.

* Adapted from “Sticking to a Habit: The Definitive Guide”

Challenge: Create a Habit