sponsors corrected

of 4 /4
Rollinson1 Aaron Rollinson ProfessorJanRieman English 1103 9/11/10 If you give an illiterate a book Self-assessment I feel like I have expressed my ideas clearly in this paper. I am still not as strong as I would like to be with my g rammar but, this paper has less run-on sentence than my normal papers. I think that this paper could use some improvements in some areas but overall I am pleased with the work I have done. Access to literacy for most ki ds on my bloc k was l imited but, mine was immense compared to them. Where I grew up we had a home computer and our book shelf was packed to capacity. At the tips of my fingers I had all the information that the internet could givemeplus, cookbooks, repair books, history books, and any other books that my family could get our hands on. It seemed like I had limitless resources to any information that I wanted to know.My parents loved to see me read so any bookthat I wanted they woul d buy for me. There was a l ibrary in walki ng distance from our house t hat we would g o to from time to time.I would get around 3 books read through them, return them, and get three more. As I grew so did my interest in reading. I started reading more controversial books like How To Kill  AMockingbird and Night , I also started reading newspap ers. My access to literacy expande d enormou sly Comment [J1]: Double space everything so that you dont have these big spaces between section. And indent each of your paragraphs see the sample sheet attached to your syllabus . Comment [J2]: Give more detail herewhat areas do you think need improvement? What did you take form peer workshop? Comment [J3]: Read this aloud and see if its punctuated in a way that tells your reader how you want it read.

Upload: aaron-rollinson

Post on 09-Apr-2018

221 views

Category:

Documents


0 download

TRANSCRIPT

8/8/2019 Sponsors Corrected

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/sponsors-corrected 1/4

Rollinson1

Aaron Rollinson

ProfessorJanRieman

English 1103

9/11/10

If you give an illiterate a book

Self-assessment

I feel like I have expressed my ideas clearly in this paper. I am still not as strong as I would like to be

with my grammar but, this paper has less run-on sentence than my normal papers. I think that this

paper could use some improvements in some areas but overall I am pleased with the work I havedone.

Access to literacy for most kids on my block was limited but, mine was immense compared to them.

Where I grew up we had a home computer and our book shelf was packed to capacity. At the tips of my

fingers I had all the information that the internet could givemeplus, cookbooks, repair books, history

books, and any other books that my family could get our hands on. It seemed like I had limitless

resources to any information that I wanted to know.My parents loved to see me read so any bookthat I

wanted they would buy for me. There was a l ibrary in walking distance from our house that we would go

to from time to time.I would get around 3 books read through them, return them, and get three more.

As I grew so did my interest in reading. I started reading more controversial books likeHow To Kill 

 AMockingbird andNight , I also started reading newspapers. My access to literacy expanded enormously

Comment [J1]: Double space everything so t

you dont have these big spaces between section

And indent each of your paragraphs see the

sample sheet attached to your syllabus .

Comment [J2]: Give more detail herewhat

areas do you think need improvement? What di

you take form peer workshop?

Comment [J3]: Read this aloud and see if its

punctuated in a way that tells your reader how y

want it read.

8/8/2019 Sponsors Corrected

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/sponsors-corrected 2/4

Rollinson2

when I entered high school. Academic books in high schoolwere so in depth I would no longer just tread

the surface of any one subject now I had theability to dive deep into any topic.

I remember every Christmasmy mom would line mysiblings and myself at the top of the stairs and ask

us questions ranging from spelling to history and everything in between.Every question we got right we

were allowed to move down a stair closer toour presents. Year after year the questions got harder she

would test us see how far we had progressed. I came to like these yearly tests because I enjoyed

showing off my knowledge that I had acquired through schools and books.My elementary school would

have a party every nine weeks depending on how many books youread. Attending the parties was fun

but the reading was not required so a lot of people didnt read. In middle school they had usread and

take test for a small portion of our grade. If you didnt do the reading you could still make a high Bso the

reading was more important but still did not a sense of high value. In high school if you didnt read then

you didnt pass.With each year the readings became more significantwhich made me want to read even

more.

As I progressed in age I started wondering about every little thing and I would always ask my dad

because he always knew the answer to everything. Soon I found myself reading books trying to stump

my dad with questions. I read all sorts of books trying to find something he didnt know about. I became

a knowledge junkie, going on the computer, reading books, trying to learn more so I could compare with

my dad because I wanted to be just like him. My father loved books, and since I loved my father with an

aching devotion, I decided to love books as well (Alexie 465).With all the knowledge I gained I became

somewhat of a smarty pants in school answering questions that the teacher didnt ask and just saying

random pieces of knowledge to anyone who would listen to me. Because of this extra informationI

exceled in classes like english and history. I used knowledge that I gained in my papers and other writing

to impress my teachers.

Comment [J4]: Good detail in this paragraph

Did you know at the time that your access to boo

and computers was much different than your

friends/neighborhood kids?

Comment [J5]: Ha! Thats great!

Comment [J6]: While you have tons of 

interesting info in this paragraph, as a reader Im

not quite sure what one main point you want to

across here.

Comment [J7]: This quote needs to be

incorporated more smoothly. Show why you are

using it, what it means to you instead of just

throwing it in there. Do you relate to Alexies dad

love of books?

Comment [J8]: So your literacy offered you a

intellectual relationship with your dad and status

within your school, it seems. So would you say th

literacy plays a role in your relationships with

people and how you relate to the world?

8/8/2019 Sponsors Corrected

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/sponsors-corrected 3/4

Rollinson3

My parents bought me a trumpet when I graduated from elementary school because I wanted to join

the band. We didnt have music around the house and we didnt learn how to read music in elementary

so, I was musica lly illit erate. Reading music didnt come easy to me, I wasnt a natural. My brother had

been in band for two years and knew how to read music a lot betterthan me so he was able to help me

and answer any questions I had. After three years I started to get good at readingmusic but, when I got

to high school I switched instruments and had to learn how to readthe notes for that instrument. Since I

switched instruments my brother was now my section leader and we had an enormous amount of fun

learning new music and teaching the students under us. Figuring out the rhythm from some notes on a

page amazed me. Learning the roles of each instrument and learning how to write music for different

instruments was what I sought to do. From then on I have been studying music and trying to play

different instruments.

Even though I was the one reading the books I dont contribute my knowledge to myself.I might have

self-taught myself how to do certain things but, the ability to learn came from the motivation that the

people in my life gave me. If you give a man a fish you feed him for a day, if you teach a man to fish you

feed him for a lifetime. Everyone that has inspired in me has taught me how to fish a nd because of this I

will be able to feed myself for a lifetime.

Aaron,

Great job! You show that you recognize how much of your motivation for reading was tied into your

relationships with people and your internal drive to learn. As you revise, heres what Id like you to pay

attention to: while there is an organizational structure here, this essay could be stronger and more

effective if you pay more attention to your overall points. What do you think the main idea is that you

want to convey? Whats the point of each paragraph? Theres no doubt info here, but its not clear how

Comment [J9]: Need more of a transition

between paragraphs

Comment [J10]: What instrument did you

switch to that the notes were so different?

Comment [J11]: Its great that you include th

part about your musical literacy.

Comment [J12]: Hmmm. Read this aloud. Im

not clear on what you mean here.

8/8/2019 Sponsors Corrected

http://slidepdf.com/reader/full/sponsors-corrected 4/4

Rollinson4

it all ties together, so think about how you might do that for your readers. Sometimes just being more

explicit with your thinking helps.

Source Citation

Alexie, Sherman. The Joy of Reading and Writing: Superman and Me.Wardle and Downs 443-448.

Print.