A

CAMBRIDGE, MASS., FRIDAY, APRIL 25, 1941 PRICE FIFTEEN

stiff Photo'e The Tech Photo shows beginning of blast which demolished Build-id secret research lab early this evening. Cause of this catastropheermined at the moment, but since "questioneer" Carleton has been

persuaded to investigate, an early solution is indicated.

kssor H. Shaw Announces Theoryleproduction Rate Of Guinea Pigsconference with members of

staff Professor H. Hawkorted on his most recent

in the biological realms ofI. Prof. Shaw is well known

ific circles as the propounderhaw Law, which fixes deft-

e reproduction rate of guineachanging the constant of

n Dr. Shaw is now testingcability of his hypothesis tous mammalia.

nowned scientist is at pres-ng the finishing touches on aich will embody the findingsatest research. The greaterthis study has been carriedeld trips in and around Bos-er, with particular emphasiso-called "Bright Belt." The

eminent doctor claims that nowhere

else can proper conditions be obtained.

Dr. Shaw's mobile field laboratory has

been recently observed in the general

region of the Club Alpine. Dr. Shaw

declined to disclose to the press the

findings of his latest experimentation.

All conclusions will appear in hisbook, the publication date of whichhas not yet been set.

Voo Doo Publishes Findings

Some of our well-beloved mentor'sfindings have been published in aseries of articles in the biologicaljournal, Voo Doo. These articles havebeen variously entitled, "MurgatroydGoes Heing," "Murgatroyd Goes toTech," etc.

Ten Killed, 26 Hurt,In Blast DestroyingRoof-Top Laboratory

While mystery shrouds thedetails of the shattering explo-sion that rocked Cambridge thisevening, Special District AttorneyJohnny Carleton, ace- of Tech-nology's unions to end all unionsorganizes a red hunt on hithertounparalleled scale to rid thisworld of evil doers, radicals andother instigators of Un-Americanactivities.

His forehead set in wrinkles,"Muscles" Carleton paces amongthe strewn wreckage of thedemolished building. his master-

mind already burdened with themomentous task of unriddling thegreatest of all riddles-the latestPeace Federation Budget.

A n _aa

Biologist Hawk ShawStiff Photo

Damage EstimatedAt Half MillionTo Defense WorkIn Wierd Explosion

An explosion killing at least 10

people and injuring 26 others rocked

the Institute early this evening when

the superstructure on the roof Build-

ing 6 was completely demolished by a

sudden blast.

Little Is known about the causes ofthis catastrophe, although it is be-

lieved that a high-voltage short cir-

cuit caused the explosion. It was

definitely known that inflammables

were being used in large quantities

to clean the equipment in the frame-work buildings, which housed several

important defense projects.

Half Million In Damage

Approximately half a million dol-lars damage was incurred in the blast,

which swept down to the third floor

destroying everything. Firemen andpolice officers are still searching thedebris for the bodies of any victims.

No hope is held for the life of any-

one not yet discovered.Rushed to Homburg Infirmary were

26 students, professors and secre-taries found in the chaos shortly after

the blast. The bodies of at least ten

persons have so far been recovered,

but they were not recognizable,because of the violence of the explo-

sion. Dr. George Morse, head of the

(Continued on Page 14)

CENTS___

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JXI, No. 21----

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~Iye~e -ecIVol. LXI Friday, April 25, 1941 No. 21

Bulldozing BoardGeneral (;neral ................................ Abe F. Queer, '46Auditor ........... ........ Cart-before-the-horse Buffoon, '76Bulldozer ............................... J. J. J. J. Queene, '00Busy Boy .................................... T.. .Texas Toys, 'OS

Supervisors

Welcome Andy. '42Bess Corset, Jr.. '41Scram Krum, '42Bob Krust, '42Fred Coinrunner, '42Chuck Chuck MIagdy. '42

IFeel Faint, '42Arturo Spirit, '421Mouse Tailor, '42Shorty Toad, '42Geo Mucker. '42

Wormey Eric, '42

Sandy Bore. '43Ima Crook, '42P. T. MecFartv. '43Rail Rider, '43Harry deWolfe, '43

Teddy Tzar, '-l:lBnron Lost Her, '4D

Associate Board

Assistant Auditors

Busiest Associates

A. Darn Toll, '43

lRichmlond( Virginiai, '43 Stupid Row, '43

Bob Shaved Her, '43:Joe Beer Tank, '4:1

John F. Tear Drop, '4S

Willyv Boudoir, 'l::Boss MacDougal, '43

Offices of The Tech'ews and Editorial-Room 3, Walker Memorial, Cambridge, Mass.

Telephone K;IRkland 1882Business-Room 301, Walker

Telephone KIRkland 1881

SUBSCRIPTION, $1.50 Per YearPublished every Tuesday and Friday during College

except during College vacation.yea r.

Entered as Second Class Matter at the Boston Post OfficeREPRNtUNT[O FORON NATIONAL AOVR1981N(i Sy

National Advertising Service, Inc.Colege Pxbbm Repsnxt

420 MADICON AVE. NEW YORK. N. Y.CHICAOO * B010ON · LOS AsGLuI SAt IIA FNCISCO

Member

|_ _ )Mlaid _eeio* Press

IT H THE__

LI - -- ' ---- ·I I IIIIL� - I I W II - · · 1

T E C H Friday, April 2

For Boys To Playby Stewart Rowe and Joseph Tankoos

][ If the number of parties going on

this weekend is any criterion, theamount of work to be done betweenthis afternoon and Sunday night willreach a record low for Technology.

E'verybody in school seems to have

decided to make a real weekend of it,for fraternity dances and Commuter'sCarnival, Dorm Open House and crewrace with .Harvard all go to make

up a smooth weekend.

Notable is the informal brawl -

whoops, ball-that those intellectuallocal yokels, the Phi Beta Bpsilon

boys, are having at the WoodlandCountry Club in West Newton..Danc-

ing starts at nine tomorrow night,with Baron Hugo, an outfit new toTech dances, supplying the music.Summer clothes are in order, if Bos-ton weather will cooperate.

Bradford Roof DanceOn the formal side is the Lambda

Chi Alpha party on the newly openedBradford Roof. An early start-8 :00P.M. to be exact, will see Burt Bentonswinging out for the revelers. Weconfidently expect the dance to be anextremely pleasurable affair.

The Dekes, in their inimitable way,-are having another "formal" dance attheir house tomorrow night. The time

{ A__

is tell to two, the music b:Mayer's too-well-known but an

less smooth orchestra. Dill,members and dates precedi]

dance. Thanks are due to Edfor the information he sent u

Can You Invent?

Oil, yes, the Carnival. We nilittle about this annual fun glis well enough known to t

of all necessary information. {be preceded by a sing, led by

Club, on Walker steps at 7:hear that the Rube Goldberg,planned for the contest thisgoing to be really super. Re

it that one Halfaman Karasicused in one- Dorm machinenumber 357. And keep an eyChiPhiotron. The party probe loads of fun, even withthose infernal eternal ratcontraptions that haunt such

We don't like to put the PiPhi's last in this column, buthas to be last. Their partyformal record dance which, evolved from the fact thtwenty-five men in the Pihouse are at the I. F. C. tonevidently a lot of them wantsomething to do tomorrow e4

5,1941 T H'E TECH rage lvE

kLE V-CTIM Do Your Heartstrings Tingle?.... Change Your Underclothes Now!

Health Dept.Has New Drug

Dopes Have New Dope

To Combat Malign BugOf Technomalesis .

Professor Camel C. Presscard, Deanof Science and Applied Differactiosil-

gldafer actity made public last night the re-.....

suilts of ten years intensive study car-ried on by memberas of the Public

.EAT T Health department of thae Ine stitute incollaboration with several meombers a of

the feale species. The results may enbe summarized in the following qulo-tation borrowed from the origt inale re-

"Whereas itwas of the greas ntee st -in-pearance and atti- terest to the advancement of the Public

g lady after treat- female humankind to determine the

-iosilactil Dept. effects of various drugs and pharma-..is.:.t Dept. co. euaticals upon them, experiments were o

:.ica:tepoulrprdevised, ingenious no end, wherest abyi'¥ : .::'I':::.;;*.::*':.:.

EATMENT' effects of common microscopic organ isms could be studired . The most amaz- lin u

ing fact discovered by this process wasthat women rare subjectfr to frequentattacks of Technomalesis, especiallyin the vicinityas of Wellesley, Radctt liffen

pearne a n and other assorted marridagee bureaus.

: - .g ^s a" atr ounteres- fese suranvind ao dheteline ofX-:t s .aciI Department Prepares Tablets

Tin ies ecto tab es rc uarve sonce area- De sceutiasuo them dexpartments ofereliHealth prepared zesto-tiamina-acido-indgetv tablts whischohvere stinrceswa

abe ome arsvailable to rthe general pubt e rlie at the popular prices of $86374924.00 a es ena pei :fifteen molecules. The edffects are Many f Yo e mat reportend to be remarkable. Techno- places the at se 11 find the wher thatpae anialesis germs reputedly fall dead at wher t lat tric myere be, YYu

fererashthe veryo contact with the pill, as who telephone Industry ritis thare ie-ou

"Theit diexperimnto wasbulitqueat- tried ouor catO~ is the lifeneati ofain't i) p_ d efensepr

\ nt th aeislfi hsl, Anarmede defaren aon of dliHealEveryoth Wetrn Electi arwe're

esamina eaqdi"hes tio retme was whied haot onc e Naternava ios shemales with the most re- r u nuow,o ft Uie mis wotente wopr mor ricesY wouldmarkable results reported fronm a cer- ntbreured by the B~ellSytmfre-tween tisswhe picturs aoManyi tsay . ee hg orders to equipmain nameless. A, comparison be- era ovide increased

article will show the difference be- -telephone facilities for expandingdenstween the woman before and after industries. N calmer days,

-Iesey 11,tyicltreatment. Unfortunately, however, we in this time of need, as i nex~~h

liesey,'41,typcalhave failed to record which is or was 'Wetern Electric's long eperiencean

rwith new drug. the Latin would have it, carpe cano anuactucavit dhem dristo cumbulitque at- their w ho th e natha:.

Corporationiys! A new use has been found for old

npus! Every other razor blades. They are sharpened andused to remove excessive hair.

try has a campus. Parking rates in Metropolitan Bos- .

up beyond the ton increased 10 cents per unit with

ot a campus- But the introduction of more stringent

,re mad. Blue Laws.I I

C

- vlrtl-__ _I

Page Six THE TECH Friday, April 25,_

COIN

URSE PLANNEENTERTAINMEN

Joseph TankoosHeads FacultyOf Novel OrgyIn EducationAnnouncement this morning of the

addition by the faculty of the Institute

of a new course for the curricula to

be offered next year presages a newdeparture in the fields of endeavorto be covered by Technology. Thecourse, to be known as EntertainmentEngineering, will be in charge of Pro-fessor S. Joseph Tankoos.

"Believing that the education of-fered here is too limited in its scope,"said the official announcement tellingof the innovation, "we have, aftermany years' study, completed a curri-culum for the new course which webelieve will broaden considerably theoutlook of Technology men on lifebeyond the confines of the laboratory."

50% To Take CourseArrangements have been made to

take in the new course almost half ofthe present population of the Insti-tute. Registration is expected to out-number that in the largest coursesnow being offered. All upperclassmenwishing to be considered for transferto Ent. Eng. should see ProfessorTankoos under the third table fromthe bar at the Fox and Hounds Clubbetween 11:31 and 11:47 tomorrowevening.

News of this departure in highereducation has spread like wildfire toall parts of the country, bringinghavoc in its wake at all of the majorcolleges in New England. HarvardUniversity, unwilling to be outdone inany field of intellectual activity, hasannounced that hereafter all enteringfreshmen will be put under the per-sonal charge of professor H. S.( Chorus-girl-for-entrance-examination)Sorokin. Because of Professor Soro-kin's excellent acquaintance with thefield it is hoped at the Universitythat their course will be able to getunder way at least three weeks beforethe Institute will be able to acceptits first students.

Outstanding FacultyAn outstanding roster of men have

been obtained by the administrationof the Institute to make up the facultywhich will administer the course.Besides Professor Tankoos, the fol-lowing men, all experts in theirchosen lines, have been signed:Francis B. Herlihy, Professor ofRumble Seats; Theodore H. Guething,

NEW RECREATION BtILDING PLANNED

Lounge LizardsIs Class A Group

Course XXV GradsGet New HonoraryIn Secret Conclave

Concurrent with the official Insti-tute recognition of Course XXV, En-tertainment Engineering, the InstituteCommittee in a secret conclave behindclosed doors last night granted thefull honors and privileges of a ClassA activity to a new honorary societyintended solely for members andgraduates of this course.

After a heated debate, which oftenbordered closely on personalities, acheering, riotous Inst. Comm. led bysuch BMOC's as smiling Jocko Her-lihy, MITAA prexy, Bob MacBride,dormitory man-about-town, and JerryCoe, Senior Class president, ran rough-shod over the plebian protests ofGreas I. Grind and Bill Brownbaggerand voted overwhelmingly for the

Moch Professor of Recreation forCrewmen; Franklin P. Seeley, ProfBs-sor of Lower Floor Operations; WarnePerrault Johnson, Professor of Re-freshments; Frederick T. Davies, As-sociate Professor in charge of ScollaySquare.

Sad news for the mugs'up the riverwill be the coup de main accom-plished this afternoon by ProfessorDavies in signing contract for ex-clusive privileges at the Gaiety, OldHoward, and Crawford House.

recognition of the Lounge Lizardsociety.

Planned by Course XXVOfficially titled Lambda Lambda the

new honorary fraternity has long beenin the minds of various factors behindthe initiation and organization of theInstitute's newest pedagogical pro-gram.

Charter of the society states as itsaims, "The promulgation of a spiritof gay, carefree and careless fun; theorganization and formation of numer-

ous and varied "fun groupsdiscouragement of extreme, e,

mildly intense, study groups; afurtherance of an ephemeral ex

(Continued on Page 11)i

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THE TECH

ONd77--

Ji Wilson, Versatile VocalistSteran Of Fair, Hollywood,is Varied AccomplishmentsNewton GirlTravled Far;s Tech Danceser Than Others

beautiful Jini Wilson, whonight with Bob Hardy's or-is no stranger to Technology1nctiollS. As a young and in-ewton High School girl she

quently seen at fraternitynd other Institute dances.se days, Jini, who had notmuch of frolic in the raw as

since, was very much im-with the gay and carefreerevailing at these orgys.recently by your special "talkities" correspondent our Missaid that even now she remem-i glee these debacles.

ack from Hollywood

ly returned from a nation-covering both the New York

Fair, San Francisco's Goldensition, and Hollywood, Jiniis glad to be back in quiet

on. Often called the Athensca. Boston is, in our opinionl)lace for a huge rest group.here is, in our opinion, as

s spending the time in thearthenon surrounded by thehistorical Athens-it's just

and peaceful here after onete this observation refers tof B.B.-_before blitzkrieg).to get back to this Wilson! Jini - she's smooth, ain't

me to Boston, i.e. Newton,e of three or so. After spend-

d bit of time out there insuburb so famous for itsdy pretty high school girls,the way of many of her

unums on to New York as aodel.

njoyed New York

brief while in The City.

er her homesickness-fancyssing this pitiful backwoodsd began to enjoy life in theeatest city. (Ed note: this

being bought and paid for.

s take notice, by the Newber of Commerce, Depart-

ull and Baloney).stay in the children's sec-

e New York World's Fair-iaternal instinct-Jini wentplayed about the secondary

of the San Franciscoate Exposition. Later sheni to the Cinema Capital-

Ilywood, boys-and took an tests.

After a very trying ordeal she hitthe road back for Athens to rest up

-and here we are tonite-having abig rest group.

Jini Is Versatile

Far from being the typical beautifulbut dumb type Jini Wilson is a ver-

satile and many-talented young lady,who swims, flies, sails, and-get thistakes stenography in her spare after-noons.

Anyhow Jini is telling us about this

flying business: It seems we werecoming down, like the birds, fromMaine and the joe who owns the plane

says: "Want to fly" so we grasp firmlythe control things and on to 'Boston-Athens, you know-as J. P. Marquandsays-Well, when we get there joe-

owner lands the thing and says-stilltalking--"How long have you beentaking lessons?"

Says Jini, in that way very prettygirls have; you know what we mean,that sirupy, soupy drawl: "Never tookany."

Likes Swimming

In addition to all this wings stuff,

our smooth songstress is also muchinterested in the swimming angles--

-~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ma cuvs Whni w ugsemean curves. When it was suggested

that she drop around and see our-get that Lindberg stuff-super, super

new functionally designed bath-tubmuch enthusiasms was the answer.

Main sideline in Jini's life, besidesthe stenography of course, is modern

-sure you know-painting. When wb

asked whether dope or cheap gin was

the best thing to use to get in theproper spirit for this sort of thing,

Jini claimed that she didn't use either.Instead, she recommended veddy,

veddy, deep classical music to elevateone's soul out of the crass realm ofpractical shapes and objects. Though

we haven't seen any of this work we'dlike to come up and see your cubessome time Jini?

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In an attempt to find out the effect of the proposed admission of 300 women students in

Technology, the social research department has been admitting women from Wellesley

and Simmons to freshmen chem lab and observing the reactions.

Scene in one

for use in his

of the classrooms assigned by the Institute to Professor Seeley

branch of the new course in Entertainment Engineering. Shown

is a class in session. (For story see Page fi).

Braving

Tech's

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regalia.is n

LOUNGE

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geance and possible death by torture, Theable, yesterday, to take this hitherto un-of The Toad's dreaded secret agents in full

rier pigeon In each man's arm that The ToadUnal Corp training. (Story on Page 11).

lbi I '

As you can all see from the photo, he can shake a mean mixer. The Techtherefore believes that the above-pictured gent should be appointed assistantto Professor Joe Tankoos in the E. E. (Entertainment Engineering, of course)

Department. (Story on Page 6).

SECRET RESEARCH PROJECT i

U. S. PLEASE NOTEI

Stif Photo

Twelve consecutive months of classesunder the new engineering speed-upprogram did this to The Tech's testspecimen. Please, Uncle Sam, don't

let it happen to us.

Just before publication tonight, the Institute released this picture of weatherforecasting research project that WAS going on in outhouse on top of Eastman

Building.

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Sketch Of Building To ReplaceOne Destroyed Today In Blast

Staff Photo

With typical Technology promptness and efficiency, Alvar Aalto, visitinglecturer for Course IV, completed the above sketch of the proposed building,which will replace the now defunct Eastman Laboratories, in time for publi-

cation in The Tech.

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THE TECH Page Eleven

ton Sewersurge RefugeStudent's Body

is the mystery of Tech-

disappearing corpse! TheI1 iitilated body of one Ray-

O'Connell, '41, issued fromIrs of Lower Boston today in

t miserable condition, but the

nt Course .11 senior was still

account of the affair was is-

the Technology News ServiceHIumbug Infirmary tonight.

rted when O'Connell was do-reseairch work in the newly-Steam LalI on Sunday. He

girl were viewing the exten-rattis over the week-end and

o fall in.el. oxidized, compressed,

Imixed, homogenized, boiled

aged, the pair went throughlex maze of machines. Fin-

,g into the sewers they werete wreck. Breaking. the

the cellophane package with

ns, Ray carried his date to-open.

point, shredded and tattered,

e(l on his shoulder and died.

er to her fate he continued

tlet of the sewer and there

Police found him there

ing still clutching an inti-

e of his girl's clothing for a

Group Organizedton Cops Tonightleaving the ballroom to-, guests are to be thor-tarched by members of!in Police force, it wasfrom usually reliablete this afternoon. This

is being taken becauseO. Pnur, assistant man-

he Statler, has heard ofg ways Tech men have=brating.

nmittee in charge agreedhen they first arrangedf the Imperial ballroom,

ected to announce It,hat timid souls might hes-attend the dance.

Thode Th~liwartsl Jersey City. For his skillful work hewas awarded the Iron Shamrock.

Quinn In PlotAgainst Society

Hague Protege FailsIn Sabotage AttemptsOn Technology Morale

Unusually reliable sources report

that'the Gesch-Tech-po, Herr Heinrich

Thode's secret police, have discovered

a gigantic under-cover plot by the fifthcolumn to Newarkize Tech. -Behind

this dastardly scheme is none other

than that disciple of Hag.ue-ian philos-

ophy, that leader of the Green Shirts,

that smiling, curly-headed darling ofthe Tech coeds, jocular John Joseph

Quinn, '42. Though all details of this

plan have not been disclosed, the gen-

eral outline has been surmised through

skilful and delicate questioning of the

leaders, a technique for which Herr

Thode's Tin Guard is famous.

Party School Grad

Apparently Genial Jack has been an

ardent student of Newarkism formany years. Prior to attendance atTech, where he was sent in 1939 todisseminate party propaganda, he at-tended the Hague School of Newark-ism at Jersey City. There he learnedabout free love, strike technique, etc.(For further information about theparty school see Jan Val-Hawk .Shaw'. t"Out of the Fog"). i-

Addlebrain Quinn, in his boyhoo dwas -a member of the Hague Yorl,:s.Movement, where many hikes throithe famous scenic Hoboken hills,veloped his env;able physique, win part accounts for his present red,tion in the foreground of male punt I;nltude.

Successful Green ShirtAfter years in the Youth Movem,

triumph upon triumph fell upon thtSvincible Irishman as he mountedladder of success in the Green ShiIn 1936 he was placed in charge (group of Newark kindergarten St's,dents who were detailed to the i;cilportant job of throwing rotten eggs.lieNorman Thomas when he spoke It

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a window-breaking and rock-throwing.squad, he was picked from a large

group of young Green Shirts to attend

the aforementioned party school. Hegraduated valedictorian of his class,and was hence the logical candidateto spread Newarkism at Tech.

The "Tech Plan"Upon enrolling. as a student at Tech-

nology, jocund John proceeded to putthe theory into practice. His firstmove was to use his forged papers toget admission into Tech's top notchfraternity, from which base he couldcenter his nefarious activities. Hethen set about getting control of TheTech, from which activity he couldcontrol the thinking processes of theTech proletariat. It was here thatthe Tin Guard first caught scent of theculprit, as Herr Thode's close asso-ciation with ex-propaganda MinisterHerr von Dato kept him in touch withthe paper. When he showed up at Techwith a license marked "J J 42" HappyJack's position with the inner circlewas quite apparent to the eagle eyedmembers of the Gesch-Tech-po.

One of the big errata made by theNewark Flash was when he tried tocontrol the '41 class elections. Firsthe tried bribery, then coercion, but allfailed. The simon-pure head of theelections committee remained firm inhis faith to his duty.

A quick and efficient trial is pre-dicted which should be followed by anieP ol.an decapitation., ctlly o aCl v,.L.L.. .u. .

every read to easier is it that us tellother line backwards after one getsthe of because is This it. to usedelimination of the big jump after eachthe of muscles the tires which lineeye. Try it sometime when you are in

experimenting. for mood the

For Acrobats Only

4a9eu.taq!t Aaqalop ao 'o0u silluom paq nt ao.ra silolspoo2 ItCl Moutl noX 1,uoQ 4qllis noA'[)-a' I l'l l? Vuiop noX auJ aeyA

, Anyone who can read the next sen-tence receives a prize, consult pagetwenty for details.

:I- .

'41 Technique SalesStart Monday Morning

The 1941 Technique will be dis-tributed from Monday throughWednesday, April 28 through 30,in-the Main Lobby of Building 10.Copies may be obtained by show-ing a Bursar's Card or a yellowreceipt. No copies may be pur-chased at that time.

The birth rate is high in NewGuinea.

Lounge Lizards(Continued from Page 6)

as epitomized in "Eat, drink, and bemerry."

Seely, Hense, New OfficersRepresenting the society before last

night's enthusiastic Institute Com-mittee was newly elected secretaryFranklin P. Seeliopoulious whorecently occupied a prominent placein the Greek War Relief Society Ball.and newly installed President WillieHense, outstanding Technology "partyboy".

As set up in the new charter theLambda Lambda will carefully selectits members from the enrollment ofCourse XXV after conferences withthe course registration officer andother officials. All candidates will be,put through an exhaustive eliminationexamination and the successful onesmust then secure the unanimous ap-proval of all Lambda Lambda's aswell as the approval of a majorityof the bartenders on the society'sselected list. A cocktail party for theinitiates will then be held out at PineManor Junior College.

A program of action for the societyis slowly being developed and whensufficiently prepared will be releasedby the officers for the amazement andastonishment of the student body.

by the architecture department;, he isafraid that his hitherto unblemishedrecord as an upstanding example ofyoung American manhood will be be-smirched.

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exports from Brazil in-than 90 per cent last

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-_ � I

April 25, 19-41

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The Tech Sues Voo DooOn Plagiarism ChargeAfter SpuriolD. A. Charles Speas

Says Gross ViolationOf Patent Laws IsOh So Very Obvious

Plagiarism charges were filed against

Voo Doo, the humor magazine of theMassachusetts Institute of Technology,it was announced last night in ma-

ternal court, by District AttorneyCharles A. Speas, because of their

gross violation of copyright laws.

Complaint was made by Albert F.

Clear, General Manager of The Tech,

because of VooDoo's outright theft of

The Engineer's Twenty-third Psalm

which they published in their last is-sue. And we do think that it should

be the last.

First in The Tech"It appears", explained Clear, "that.

the poem was first published in TheTech, Vol. LIV April 10, 1934 and sinceall the material appearing in The Techis copyrighted we have definite legalprotection. Since Voo Doo publishedthe poem without giving The Techcredit, The Tech can sue Voo Doo for- - IJ

[Is IssueTwenty-Third Psalm for Engineers asit appeared in The Tech six longyears ago.

Verily, I say unto you, marry notan. engineer. For an engineer is astrange being, and is possessed ofmany evils.

Yea, he speaketh eternally in par-ables which he calleth formulae,

And he wieldeth a big stick whichhe calleth a slide rule,

And he hath only one bible, a hand-book.

He thinketh only of stresses andstrains, and without end of thermo-dynamics.

HIe showeth always a serious aspectand seemeth not to know how tosmile,

And he picketh his seat in a cal'by the springs therein, and not by thedamsels.

Neither does he know a waterfallexcept iby its horsepower,

Nor a sunset except that he mustiburn more wattage,

Nor a damsel except by her liveweight.

Always he carrieth his books withhim, and he entertaineth his sweet-heart with steam tables."It appears", explained Clear, "that~

rf lr 1E- TE-CH Friday, April 25,

Awarded the placque given each

year by the American Institute ofGlamour Girls and other social Para-

sites to the most courteous escort wasFrank Seeley, '42 of the Chi Phi House.

In conferring the placque Miss Ver-rilong Hair, President of the society,said:

"It is unfortunately true that people

like us have very much trouble in

securing the proper sort of an escort

for a date. It seems that the average

boy-the dull beast-is not interested

in the brilliant conversation we can

keep up about the topic of ourselves.

It is also true that this sort of a

person wants something more on an

evening than a well groomed beautiful

statue to which he can. listen. Rather

rare indeed is it when we find some

one who is content to do nothing but

listen to us stupidly prattle on; who

seems to enjoy our utter worthlessness

and lack of ability to think; and who

will take us wherever we wish, re-gardless of cost; and who, when the

evening is over will carefully take us

home, without being fresh and brazen

and attempting to hold hands.

"It is therefore with great pleasure

hat I award this little token of ourpreciation to Frank Seeley of thessachusetts Institute of Tech-

ogy."

Seeley Sails

fter being saluted by all the mem-

Seely was allowed to retire, smil-

alid lipstick splattered to the

tical Association where he imme-

ely set sail for parts unknown in

of the Association dinghys.

he Boston Art Museum revealed

t the nude statuary is the most

ular of their various exhibits.

The First Church ofChrist, Scientist

Falmouth, Norway and St. Paul Sts.Boston, Massacbusetts

Sunday Services 10:41 a. m. and 7:30 p. m.;Sunday School 10.45 a. in.; Wednesday eve-ning meetings at 7.30, which include testi-monies of Christian Science healing.Reading Room - Free to the Public,333 Wasbingtos St., opp. Milk St., en-t cance also at 24 Province St., 420 Boylstow

Streft, Bekrl'ey 8xildidg, 2ndFloor, 60 Nonr* :St., earneMassachusetcs Ave. Author-ized and approved literatsuon Christian Science may beread or obtained.

Good ChinNow NeededFor Entrant

Latest Requireme,To Provide New LFor Queer Constae

The office of the Directormissions revealed a newment for incoming classes atstitute. Full knowledge of the

alphabet will be the new reqa,

For those who have had lno

knowledge of the language t

be formed a new summer cThe classes of '43 and '44have to take the new course,ject will be taught by Profes

A. Churk.

Petition Presented

The new course was forme

petition was presented to thistrative offices of the Insnumerous professors of mat

physics and electrical subjeciPart of the plea read asb

"Since - the unknowns in

taught fby us has far exc

total number of letters in thand Greek alphabet, includo

itals, and we do not wish to

a political party by usingltions of letters, we the ur

ask for new fields from whiLletters so our siperfious

will not go unnamed."

SHAVEMA!

ONLff-

FOR YOU}OLD RAZC

MARfIPLE0' OF:A Kff OR CONPI

SArlWY OR/ EMON A N0DEL 'Fv~ravIw-

TECHNOLOGIDIVIDEND TO N

I

Seeley TakesPlaque OfferedBy Glamor Girls

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y, April zo, IU41

g McGuireCaptaink]ers Teamis Fish-Tossers'

gue To Kick Ball;es It To Motherreate public interest in its

the South Boston and Revereds Products, Inc., announcedht that it has chosen Milton

ire, '41, star player of Tech-

eleven, as captain of its newnal team known as the Back

ers.

ire will be expected to playle, guard, center, back, or

her position oni the team,"an Ketchum, coach of theand third vice-president ofS.F.P., "but I do not think

ite ready for the better posi-oach Ketchum also predicted) season against many pro-and non-professional teamsseason begins next fall.

as its yell the famous "4000000 cod and a herring forers", the team has built upit in its few weeks of prac-r. Asked how it felt to be

of such a live-wire teamnnswered, "I owe it all to

Is PleasedBoy Scoutsoy Scout troop to be com-ly of the members of TheThe Tech is to be formed

er New Year's Day accord-rles, the August, Speas.cipals of the troop are toe as most any other Boyp except that the person-osed of those weary cos-who are seeking to return

a most round about way.id that the Senior Patrol

-be Warne Johnson whod on the Haig and Haig1908. Also iI, the usualn the Troop is to have aIly O'Shea, who will standhe boys in her low cut

ing place of the troop wille at the Hotel Imperialembers will be able to getthis establishment. There

ram of activities outlined e the Wolf Patrol under nson and Hense will prob-

out of the bar all term.

eveals that kissing is morethe month of June.

I WANTED

Colonel Langdon Flowers

Scandal rea;ched-the- preside/it bfthe freshman class Thursday evening,

and ColoneT Langdon S. Flowers isbeing sought by the police of Greater

,Boston for an alleged murder in a

Revere cafe.The police promised that if the

capture of the notorious "Georgia

Peach" was not effected withintwenty-four hours, a nation wide

alarm would be sent out. Witnesses

IfYou're

At A Doetor'sOffice He Asks You

To Read Something Like This

This is to test your beautiful blue:

eyes for the many eye troubles result-

ing from looking. at things you,shouldn't. Much research has been:

made by Technology engineers in re':

cent years in this field and we presenthere some of their findings.

If you can explain to your Simmons

0or Wellesley date about the arc sub-.tended by an object at a given dis-

tance you can tell her why it is easier

to read big type and harder to read

little type. Even we can't explain whyit is easier to find light or dark type

on a page.

Or Was It Three?Having. finished off those three

Having finished off those threeiScotches you may find this paragraph'

Scotches you may find this paragraphi

perfectly normal, but to those who are"perfectly normal, but to those who are:

still sober it serves as a warning

said that all that was seen was still sober it serves as a warningFlowers fleeing from the cafe with a against excessiv e indulgence.smoking revolver.

Rumors have reached us that theColonel was at the bar sipping Pepsi-cola with some Harvard friends anddiscussing etymology, when the dis-

pute arose. Mr. Flowers then shot the

man.

"I'd do it again," Flowers declared,

"Any ...... that says that damnyankis not one word deserves it."

Nat McL. Sage HandlesThis Here Brawl Tonight

Nathaniel McLean Sage, Jr., hasfound time to stray from Izzy Ort's,Silver Dollar Cafe, Pen and PencilClub, the Crawford House, and SallieKeith to handle this here affair. Itis not known at the time of publica-tion who Mr. Sage's date is, but thelast time Miss Keith was seen was atthe Theta Chi dance.

Mr. Sage is of the famed Number Six Club, which is the nearest houseto Hahvahd. This is the house withthe highest rating on the campus thathas Mr. McKinnion and his boys wor-ried about so few of the class of '44flunking out. Just stop in and seeMr. Sage and tell him what a superswell dance it is, and maybe you'll geta free drink.

against excessive indulgence.

Really reliable sources (not M.I.T.).'every read to easier is it that us tellother line backwards after one getsithe of because is This it. to used,;elimination of the big jump after eachlthe of muscles the tires which line:eye. Try it sometime when you are in!

experimenting. for mood the.

For Acrobats Only

oaltau.taq!q zSaq)op .io 'our slltuoui paq u! a.[ax sqlols.poo0 II0 Ahoui aoLA T,uonI Lqjcls no.

"D'I'I aql n u!lop nos a91 eq&,

Anyone who can read the next sen-tence receives a prize, consult pagetwenty for details.

'41 Technique SalesStart Monday Morning

The 1941 Technique will be dis-tributed from Monday throughWednesday, April 28 through 30,in.the Main Lobby of Building 10.Copies may be obtained by show-ing a Bursar's Card or a yellowreceipt. No copies may be pur-chased at that time.

The birth *rate is high in NewGuinea.

Institute circles are agog with thediscovery at 3:30 this morning of a

still in the committee room occupiedby Franklin Mabbett's Crawling Monu-

ment Committee. Members of the

committee, when finally found in aback room of a dive in Scollay Square,

were placed under arrest by theM. D. C. without ,bail, the Bostonpolice refusing to have anything to dowith such big game.

Rabbit Mabbett, ringleader of theMassachusetts Moonshiners, has beenheld incommunicado Iby the officers incharge of the case, -but a reporter

·from The Tech managed to sneak aninterview through the bars from thenext cell where he happened to bespending the night, following a slightmisunderstanding on the part of theM. D. C. When questioned -by ourreporter, Rabbit, known as Shortywest of Lake Michigan, said modestly,"Dey can't touch me. I AM DE LAW."

Mabbett is known to be an old handat brewery, having learned the rudi-ments of the art in 4-440 and on a'boat cruise at a convention of a cer-tain well-known fraternity. Shorty'sconstitutions will uphold him, hefeels, it is reported, but he fears aninvestigation by The Tech, and theInstitute Committee. Proud of hisbeing called the Western Union Boyby the architecture department, he isafraid that his hitherto unblemishedrecord as an upstanding example ofyoung American manhood will be be-smirched.

A L . 1 qI., n.L

6,I Amnt De. Law"Mabbett CaughtIn Whisky Still i

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Page Fourteen THE TECH Friday, April 251

Date Bureau(Continued from Page S)

avowed that only because he felt a

moral obligation to straighten out the

present social situation had he de-

cided to sacrifice some of the time

badly needed by his other academic

and extra-curricular activities to

undertake the handling of this ven-

ture personally.Jocko, who explained to us, last

night, the-workings of his new brainbaby has had definite experiencealong this line before which will un-doubtly prove of value in the manage-ment of his new date bureau. Inaddition to being an honors studentin Course XXV Herlihy was one ofthe leading lights in the short lived"Committee to Consolidate CollegeCommittees Working for the Reliefof Beleaguered European Nations",which was to attempt a gala reliefshow and concert.

Wide-flung Network Planned

As set up at present Fun Associatedwill have representatives in both fra-ternity houses and the dormitories aswell as at the different young ladies'educational institutions. At each ofthese divisional offices applicants forpositions on the lists of escorts, bothmale and female, will be interviewedand photographed. It is through theseoffices that all applications for serv-ice will be handled although theywill of necessity be referred to thecentral clearing office for the assign-ment of escorts.

Assisting Jocko in the managementof the new business are Jon O'Con-nor, prominent campus "smoothie"and Jackie Tyrrell, local lad abouttown.

Representatives at the various col-leges who will act as departmentmanagers include: Kay Donovan ofEmmanuel College, Margaret Schwarzof Pine Manor; Barbara Pierpont,Susan Young, "Taffy" Shepard, CoxieGreen, Kay Lawrence and MargaretCobbie, all of Wellesley.

I

FRESHMEN

I- - -i

Jerome T. CoeTells SecretsIn Bund Meet

New Dictator SaysExcess Illumination

At Tech Formals;The Tech Agrees

Representing the Technology Bund,

Inc., Jerome T. Coe, '42, prominent

aryan member of the student body

spoke in Huntington Hall at a secret

meeting last Wednesday. Addressing

menrbers of the Strength Through Joy

organization he decried the shortage

of dark corners at Technology dances.

With his purple and grey tie dang-

ling under his double chin Coe de-

clared himself Dictator according to

the customary manner. The Institute

Committee fire of a few months ago,

which was blamed on the AmericanStudent Union, got Coe's particularattention in his two minute speechlasting the better part of the evening.

Sabateurs Enter

At his point five blonde foreign spiesentered and sabotaged the meeting.Coe offered no resistance. but warnedthe other party members, "Remember,boys, everything I have said is betweenyou and me and Hastie Price."

Donning his field grey uniform hestated, "I shall not remove this under-shirt until our country is free fromthe American menace. Only true Ger-mans shall enjoy the pleasures of anevening in South Boston."

Coe described Fritz Kuhn, his fellowbund-leader, as a bush league bandit.Astrologers had forseen a great revo-lution led by a tall, dark, handsomebrute like Coe-according to Coe.Kuhn is out.

SOPHOMORES

JOIN

Dictator Coei ii iii ii ii i i~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Stiff Photo

Jerome T. Coe addressing a studentgathering in Huntington Hall Wednes-day on "Die Neue Kurs." Immediatelyafter this photograph had been taken,Coe attacked The Tech photographerand attempted to wreck his camera.The plucky photographer warded offthe Feuhrer's blows with a field hockeystick which he borrowed from a little

lady in the front row.

LUNCHEON75 c- $1 - $125

DINNER $1.25 to $2

SUNDAY EVENINGHOT BUFFET

$ 1.50 p peparon

Explosion(Continued froln Page

Medical Department, said thatthe survivors were progressihlably, but that a few were indanger.

Eye Witness AccountAn unidentified student a!

Tech's photographer were twitnesses in the court betweezing 6 and the dormitories at 1of the explosion. Our photosaid, "It was horrible, but fastThe force of the blast nearlyme off my feet. I hate to thisthose people trapped in the bi

The possibility of sabotalhinted by the police, becausenational defense work in pro1

the roof-top labs, but Instituteties said the chance was sFnbuilding was well guarded, a,to official statement.

A coin dated 134 B.C. wasunearthed in Greece.

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ketball(Contintued from Page 2)

the best teams in the country-pennsylvania, Notre Dame.

sota-and we used to beat themToday Tech plays only setupstill they lose. I remember the

,car played for Tech. We hadty-four game schedule and came

h tndefeated.

Long Term Contract?

1)les has been signed for onlycar; but if he comes through

ISOn without defeat, he has beenI a lolng-term contract at his

rice. He evidently has confi-il his ability to mold a success-nlb)ination, for he gave up a

a year job coaching Tefisa-University to come to Tech.cting a successful season theatioll is already planning a newTrhe new building, to replace.Xepit Hangar Gym, which will

1 dlown to make room for theEngineering building, is ex-

to cost at least $1,250,000. It(onstructed on Briggs Field,

it to the Briggs Field House.

vley LostJersey Coastcial Wire From New York:-flying patrol planes of theStates Coast Guard reportedthe boat of Technology stu-

homrnas Tinkham Crowley, '43,New Jersey coast early thisI, it was announced by Asso

Press. Destroyers from then Navy Yard are on theirthe spot, since it is too roughCoast Guard planes to land.ey's discovery ends a threerch inaugurated upon his disce Tuesday from the Charlesasin. The ocean escapade ist of a proposed improvementTechnology dinghys, whichwas testing, it was revealedey's fellow sailor, Jerome T

esting New Devicelained that he and Crowle:

from the Sailing Pavilioith the new automatic steer

p on their dinghy. The devicihied by Coe as involving th(the jib to the tiller, the

of the keel, and a few othel provements. "It looked grea

, said Coe.Coe went on, "the dingh

of control and sailed downWhen the lockkeeper at thlade us go through", sailot scared and swam ashore

wanted to save the boat5 afraid of being punished, s

ome without telling anyoneI owe it all to my mother.It was revealed when he copI on Thursday.

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Beavers Aim For First Win DinghyMeet(Contilnued from Page 2)

Over Crimson Crew In Ten Years have two crews present. Winners inthe New England section regatta at

(Continued from Page 2) Brown have already been announcedfreezing weather, the Harvard squad as Rhode Island State and Amherst.

of Bolles are favored again this year, was working into condition in their

but 'one thing is certain - the boys rowing tanks. The Techmen hit the Other eliminations will be held in

friver on February twelfth, and have the Midwest, at Princeton, and atfrom up river are going to know they been rowing continuously, even fore- Annapolis.

have been in a crew race. going their coveted spring vacation Several Canadian schools invited

According to Coach Moch all the to prepare for the season. were unable to accept. They were

Beaver eights are better than they With the promise of a trip to Pough-

were at this time last year, but adds keepsie at the end of the season, the the Royal Military Academy, Queens

Moch so are the Harvard boatings.varsity eight has rounded into fine College, and the University ofform. From bowman and lo.al boy Toronto.

Best bet for the Techmen should be Phil Phaneuf to brawny soph seven Favorites in Meet

in the first race where an inexperi- man Jim Malloch who hails from San Stars in the regatta will probably be

enced but eager '44 shell which aver- Jose, California, the eight men and Jerry Coe, slipper, in the A division

ages 6' 1P" and 178 pounds will face cox Reece Wengenroth are deter- and Dick KnLpp, skipper in the B divi

a young Harvard aggregation. mined to beat Harvard. sion, for the Beavers. Yale, BrowrBehind Gavin and Malloch, Carl and Williams are expected to be out

Topnotch Fifty Shell Mueller rows in the same spot he did standing. From Princeton, F. Gardne

In the lightweight race Pat Man- last year. Then come Seniors Alex Cox, Jr., President of the I.C.Y.R.A.

ning's charges stroked and captained Poskus and Don Howard, both of who has been ill recently, is expecte(

by Bill Boise are potentially a crew whom rowed on the first boat last to turn in his usual fine performance

to rank with the best fifty boats Tech season. Sophomore Jim Spitz who Harvard freshman Dave Noyes, Jr.

has produced. Regardless, Harvard never before has raced in intercollegi- who showed great skill in his duel

has an experienced boat, and in their ate competition fills the number three with Coe in the A division races to

last meeting, the Haines-coached men slot with big Bill Folberth at two and the Owen Cup last Sunday, will b

:--r--A th. RnvPrsz in thtp lAt five Phaneuf at bow. back. Last Sunday he came in closIlppedU Lne D"eave in tar .v> ,,

strokes. With a new Pooock shellgetting its baptism in racing, theBeavers may turn the trick.

Tech's second boat with five of lastyear's championship freshman eighton it is far stronger than the corre-sponding crew of last year. MarshMcGuire will be stroking his firstrace.

Long Practice

Through the exigencies of Boston

weather, the Beaver crews have beenon the Charles five weeks longer than

the Crimson. However, while the In-stitute eights were rowing in below-

Pistol Champs(Continued from Page 2)

of the opposition arose with a streamof unintelligible German, stomped his-club foot with vigor, and delivered a

vehement appeal to the League ofNations.

'This match capped the climax of aremarkable season for the pistol team.Earlier in the year a contingent com-posed of Deadeye Dick Henry, Jarrin'

John Murdock, Jumpin' Jack Cantlin,Cross-Cy Brown, and Eye-Gulch Ed

Owen, won the National TORC Cham-pionship which brings the. WilliamRandolph Scripps-Howard Trophy toTech. Their score was a powerful1499, Cantlin having an off day.

Offer From Prison

This season was also marked by an

offer from the Massachusetts State De-partment of Correction to employ thewhole team as prison guards afterthey defeated the regular guards in

mortal combat. It is rumored thatCy Brown is rejecting the offer onlybecause his silhouette is too good a

target for any armed convicts.

Harvard Strong

Dick Wilson has been displaced in

the stroke seat of the Crimson menby Wagner. The Crimson boating astentatively announced finds Wagnerfollowed by Hinkley, Whitman, Her-ter, Goddard, Gray, Pennoyer, andPirney with Ducey coxing.

Boston University is virtually an

unknown quantity in the race, but arenot expected to furnish the other two

shells much trouble. Stroke Kosinais followed by Captain LaRose with

McRae, Mears, Babb, Bornhofft, (olini,and Buzanoski bringing up the rear.

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See this remarkable machine at yourearliest convenience.

Price only $39.50

CAMERA STORESBoston, Mass. Cambridge, Mass

284 Boylston St. Harvard Sq.Opp. Public Garden Opp. Widener Library

Corn. 6366-Repairs, Delivery-Kir. 2366 I

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behind Coe in three races and won intwo.

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Make Your Party Click ,rWITH A

"BIRCH" PORTABLEWhen conversation begins tolag and the party seems tobe losing its zest, put yourfavorite records on a Birchamplified phonograph andyour guests will make theirown fun, and how.

A model to suit every enter-tainment need and everypocket book.

Priced as low as

$9.95

BOSTON MUSIC COMPANY116 Boylston Street

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Clara E. BettesIs Picked ForLottery DrawingBy Committee

After a furious debate on the sub-ject and on several others, the I.F.C.dance committee chose Miss ClaraEllen Bettes, Wellesley, '43, to drawthe lucky numbers in the ChampagneLottery sometime this evening. A na-tive of Longmeadow, Massachusetts,Miss Bettes is the dirty blonde dateof Sterling H. Ivison, '41, former presi-dent of the T.C.A.

All persons entering the ballroomwill be given a number and it is to bethese numbers that Miss Bettes willdraw from. A bottle of the most mag-nifique, the most superb, ach, suchchampagne, -- an unopened bottle ofliquid will be the prize offered to sixcouples.

Floor Show At Twelve

At twelve o'clock tonight, a splen-direforous floor show, maybe, will be

presented to the utter amazement andchagrin of all those who may havebecome comfortably ensconced in the

arms of escorts and vice versa andvice, tee hee. Anyhow we warnedyou.

Undergraduate NoticeTwo Chi Phi's want it brought espe-

cially to the attention of Hawk Shaw

that while The Tech may make a mis-

take once in a while, that cheap ex-

cuse for a publication that he runs

by remote control can't even learn by

the mistakes of others. Notable is the

sad and glaring. error on page 9 of the

latest issue of his rag. They still

SCINTILLATING SONGSTRESS

Miss Jini Wilson, West Newton girl who returns from a ga!a first night open-

ing in Hollywood to entertain the gathering with vocals accompanying the

haven't learned how to spell Berigan. music of Bob Hardy. Complete details on the glamorous yourig songstress

Chaperones UsCommittee MRAnd PertinenlPersonal Deta

ChaperonesPresident and Mrs. Karl T.Professor and Mrs. James RMr. and Mrs. Nathaniel M. SoMr. and Mrs. Walter H. StoDean and Mrs. Walter R. MaMr. and Mrs. Horace S. FordMr. and Mrs. Delbert L. RhProfessor and Mrs. J. Warrei

UshersHank Henderson, '42Richard Gould, '41Frank Wilbur, '43Bill Boschen, '44Jim Woodiburn, '44Don Moll, '43David Greenberg, '42Paul Speicher, '43Harry Clew, '44Walt Boyd, '43Dick Weedon, '44Pete Sibley, '42Bob Reebie, '43.Charlie Smith, '42Howard Scott, '42Bud Hartman, '43

I. F. C. CommitteeNat Sage-Chief Big WigDon Searif--Uncle DonSterling ivison-Pretty DaArnold Mengel-Inebriated |James Thornton-Fly GlooIRalph Wilts-WiltedRobert Williams - Maste

moniesJack Klyce-KibitzerJohn Arend-ShylockRobert Shaw-Problem ChillWarren Foster-Stooge I

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are enclosed within these sacred covers,They make the same Mistake twice.