the armadillo journal 3-2

8/13/2019 The Armadillo Journal 3-2

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February 17th, 2014 Volume 3, Issue 2

Originality is nothing but judicious imitation - Voltiare

SketchbookMark Conway


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HAPPENINGSNews, or something like it. Submit to us! [email protected]

Louie Demarco

Where are they now?

because a riend rom high school needed a roommate orhis landlord was going to evict and I had told him I wasleaving Beloit. I transerred into St. Ambrose Universityin January o last year because it was right down the street

rom the house. Its a liberal arts school about double thesize o Beloit. I had enough credits rom Beloit to alreadyhave a Bio minor completed and I took up a double majorin Art and Pyschology. Ive designed props or some the-ater productions here and am VP o the Art Club and haveworked on some oragnizing murals and some design workor the school and city. We are also in the process o get-ting together a gallery space off campus which will eaturestudent works. I have a job as the art editor or the literaryand visual arts journal here this year. As or the uture imnot too sure, haha, still trying to figure that out mostly. Ivethought about using the Pysch degree to go into counselingor stabilities sale but ideally Id like to have my proession-

al lie be involved with the arts in someway, ya know?

Well I moved to Davenport Iowa

Te News icker

Mark Conway

Are you an artist? Perhaps a casual

doodler? Send in your work (1-3 pieces)

and have it displayed at NEXUS, an art

exhibition that puts campus and com-

munity art in the same space.

Email [email protected] if youre

interested.

Tere are prospies everywhere.

I got paid!

Student would have gone to Chelonia i she had more than$3.89 in her checking account.

Tunder Junk makes second appearance and still no junk wasseen.

Free Bacon my ass Bon Appetite, all I want is a BL when Imhungover or brunch.

Student doesnt know whether hes making the poop or i thepoop is making him.

Help

New York Art Show Open with lots o art.

Birth control was refilled in preparation or the weekend.

Your stupid.

Student finishes paper o semester thanks to Adderall .


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WORKSArt? Submit to us! Campus mail box 314

My Grandmother taught me to sewso I took out her eyelashes

and made boy scout knots o them,because hot dogs remind me o sleeping bagsand sleeping bags remind me o you.

Remind me that it was cold in your atticthat I heard a fly buzz when I-

when you died.

Gran doesnt look me in the eye anymorenot since Carl lost his acenot since my hair grew a new color

that doesnt resemble the placeyou remember me in,

a polaroid photograph.raspberry walking stickhouse o diseased DNArom the Other side o the amily

And I thinki she met Arlis

it would have to beon the inside o a constellationbehind a mound o target bagsnever to be openedonly mulled over--with a plate o swedish meatballs

And there theyd sit,Marge, with her knitting needlesArlis, with the Irish mobMe, with a bag over my head,burlap dunce cap

voted best dressed at work

No one talks o the present,justpleasantriesthe weather channelantiques roadshow.

And on holidayswe draw turkeys.

like our fingers were eatherslike the New York imes actually cares,like art school paid off.

and we eat chili you thought came rom acheerleaderthat I made with my dadwho thinks Im his little surer girlbecause he died listening to the beach boys.

because holidays suck.

and sponge baths remind me o you.

your chapped lips,elderly creases,pinching timeas they do fleshhurting all the same.

Somewhere youre out theretalking to yoursel, beore it scared usreverberating the houserom the basementescaping the many minds o your mother.your motheryour mother looks a lot like me

Im finally driving or oncea red clown car o disorderthat loves you shamelessly

and all this is a liebecause deathis the privilege to exaggerate.

And Dad,you are not deadyou are the only god I know.

Only douchebags write about death

Griffin Salisbury

Emma Clark

Grace Smith


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Untitled by Dena Winter

Found in the library

Photo by Grace Smith

College Haikus Amelia Diehl

Why would anyonestill use wide-ruled paper herewe are in college

Got to the partyand thought Id be hornierbut this is still un

I put buttons on

my big thrif store jacket cuzIm so quirky now

What are these lyricsI guess Ill move my bodydo the walls look wet?

Um, actuallyloneliness is thetheme o every party so


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PerspectivesRamblings. Were on Facebook! /thearmadillojournal

Jonahs quality cash saving tips for around the house:

1. Does your cheese come with little pieces o paper in between the slices? I so, these make excellent napkins.

I its wrapped in plastic, hey, with enough ingenuity and a hot glue gun youve got a zip lock bag!2. Did the leg all off o your ikea dining room set chair? ake em all off and youve got a sweet gaming chair,so you can play flash games on the floor or wherever!

3. Interested in the dark arts? You can take all that rancid turkey meat in your ridge and put it in a saetydeposit box at the post office. Wham! Six months later go check it!

4. Ever wonder what its like to eat sawdust? Go to Ace hardware and ask or their extra stuff and mix it withwater, budget pasta paste, twice the carbs and slow or the digestion tract!

5. Low on laundry detergent? Scrape your shower clean and mix that stuff with hand soap, bleach, and some

o that extra sawdust you shrewdly acquired. Let it sit or a week or two, but cover it so bugs dont fly in!6. I you have any more tips, dont be a stranger, and remember, were all in this together!

Tips for drinking with your new British Friends Jackson Morrison

Finding riends in a new country can be intimidating, but just remember to stick to the basics. Getting involvedin the campus culture through clubs and societies is a great way to meet people, but i you want cool riends then mysuggestion is to wander around outside the pub asking or cigarettes. Even i you dont smoke, you can choke one downto get a conversation started and by the end o the night everyones too drunk to realize that you never smoked another.I you want, you can even make a big deal about quitting and impress your new riends with how youre able to hangout with so many smokers and not pick it back up. I you eel weird about being the non-smoker but just cant bring

yoursel to smoke rollies (they all smoke rollies) then you can always stain your fingertips yellow with turmeric andclaim you just smoked one. Now that you have some mates (dont say mate, it sounds awul in an American accent), this brings up a veryimportant point: Never try to impress your British riends with how much you can drink because they can drink morethan you, even the little ginger girl. Shes probably Irish. Be conscious, drink slowly. In America, drinking is a sprint, inBritain its a marathon, Except the Irish, who sprint marathons. One o the hardest things to remember is that the Brit-ish pound is worth about a dollar and a hal, I know its easy to spend two little coins on a beer or throw some purplemonopoly money on the bar and order SHOS FOR EVERYONE! but the moneys real and youre paying more thanyou think you are. You can pretty much drink whatever you want, gin and whiskey are respectable, and vodkas acceptable. Teresprobably no wine or you i youre on the 100 mile diet, in act, i youre on the 100 mile diet you should probably ocuson beer, fish, and potatoes. I have a sneaking suspicion the British dont eat lettuce, but that not been confirmed as o

yet. Te last thing that should be worrying you is what youre going to talk about because British pop culture isbasically American pop culture rom three years ago, so youll probably be more inormed than they are. I someonementions a band youve never heard o dont panic, you can still sound cool by shrugging nonchalantly and saying,they probably never made it across the ocean. I you do it right it wont convey the message that youre not hip enoughto scour the internet or avant garde bands rom all over the world but more that this cultural exchange business isstarting to seem a little bit one sided. And i you or some reason eel the need to coness that you actually think theAmerican Office is way better than the UK version, do it while their all watching a ootball (soccer) match so they arent

listening anyway.

Jonah Isenstein


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Depression

Depression is a hushed house guest.Sometimes I dont realize she has been

sleeping in the pit o my basement.She ties her body in a knot,listens to the dull lullaby o my urnace,Halleluja, HallelujaPraise your human need or heat.She slinks through the staircase shadows.Opens the empty ridge,eels her hollow belly.Depression sits at my kitchen tablerocks her oot likeits the only thing moving in my house.

Te other houses in the neighborhood

have noticed that the guests visit ofenbut never stay long.Te other houses want tobuild a white picket ence.Depression lets it happen but buys black paint.Depression opens her walletlooks at the photograph o Maniashe keeps behind her license.She baptizes hersel in the black paint.Says God,let Mania find meand make me a clean woman.

Depression wants to peel the wallpaperoff my dining room walls,eat the plaster,and be riends with the termites.Depression likes my urniture.She is counting loose floorboardscounting stairscounting the dents in my wall.She is making lists o how things are.

Depression is sitting onloose floorboard number fify five.With a black permanent marker.Staring at her handsbegging the stillnessto shake her.She thinks she is imaginingthe remnants o past paintings.Depression is not painting on the walls.Depression is leaving.She is holding her eelings in her throatas she waves rom my porch.Keeps whispering that she will see me soon.

Mania

Mania is a loud house guest.Sometimes I dont even realize she has been

spinning her avorite rhythms afer eedingmy walls sleeping pills.Mania is hanging her clean laundry likeshe is the amily portrait sitting on my mantel.Tere is a choir in my gas line,it sings like God just built this.Morning whistle o my urnace,Halleluja, Halleluja,

praise the days I am not a suicide note.

Te other houses notice thatsometimes my walls looked pressed outas i there is something trying to

burst into the skyline.Mania drinks tea in the yardas she cradles her sledgehammer.She attacks the ence becauseshe doesnt know why they built it.

Mania wants to paint me orangeand reurnish my bedrooms.She is crafing new chochskees or my mantel.Once and a while Mania stops and wonderswhy there arent other people readingpoetry to the empty cabinets.She buys groceries and

bakes red velvet cake with cream cheese rosting.She eats the whole thing herseland smacks her lips together.

Mania is painting a mural on my walls in wash-able marker.It is the color spectrum and it is as loud asthe way she loves hersel.She shakes with laughter asshe bathes in the paintSays God,may depression never find meand make me a clean woman.

Her knees give out.I find her sitting onloose floorboard number fify five,reaching or the permanentblack marker in her back pocket.Tis is her final mark.She never says goodbye.My walls just start peeling.I am a straining doorwaycalling Mania home.

Te Tree HouseguestsJulie Shayna

Apathy


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Photo by Liz Hock

Te thing about movies isJohn Nash never gave aNobel Prize acceptance speech.

I he had, he would not have beenso candid toward his ex-wie.He might have had an episode,

so said the ceremonysorganizers who so ceremoniouslyexcluded the Beautiul Mind.

Te thing about minds isthey never quit.A mind may surrender

control only to itsel. Even then, what can stop a man rom building castles?

Nash wins, losesSean Little

Henry Klatz Photo by Grace Smith


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SPOT THE RAT

Overheards

I watched Archer once. It seemed pretty misogynistic. Girl in Java Joint

Im more o a stud guy. Male Athlete

You dont have to be drunk to dance in commons! Girl in Commons

Ok, Goodbye you two are racist. Argument in Commons

Im drunk enough I can queer whatever I want! Girl on the weekend

Have you ever been on the phone and wondered where your phone was? Student in JavaJoint

I you say you dont believe in airies then a airy dies. Student at mail center

Afer many years o role playing experience, - Guy in Java Joint


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What youll find here is a series o comics I made in the 5th grade,, I give you: FROGZILLA by Mark Conway


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the armadillo journal 3-2

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