TheDestinationDecisionDetermining if adestination weddingis right for you

Banquet HallBreakdownHow to find abanquet hallfor your big day

AllAboardWedding daytransportation tips

CLINTON HERALDJANUARY 2013 | A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT TO

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According to a 2012report in Bridesmagazine, the averageAmerican couplespends just under$27,000 on theirwedding, while theirnorthern neighbors inCanada spend slightlymore than $23,000 onaverage for their bigday. Clearly couples,regardless of whichside of the border theycall home, can expectto invest a substantialamount of money fortheir weddings.While many couples find thecost of a wedding is wellworth it, others would like tofind ways to save so their bigday isn’t a budget-buster.Such savings aren’t alwayseasy to come by, especiallyfor couples with a verydistinctive picture in mind ofwhat their wedding shouldbe. However, even couplesstrongly committed to a

certain wedding style mightchange their minds oncethey realize how much sucha dream wedding will cost.For those couples as well ascouples who simply want tosave some money, thefollowing are a few ideas toavoid busting your budgetwithout venturing too farfrom your dream wedding.

• Trim the guest list. Theguest list is perhaps theeasiest place to begin savingmoney. Many reception hallswill charge by the head, soconsider if you really need toinvite 150 guests or if 100will do. Such trimming cansave you a substantialamount of money. Forexample, a banquet hall thatcharges $200 per guest willcost couples with a guest listof 150 $30,000 for thereception alone. Cutting thatguest list to 100 reduces thatcost by $10,000. Whenputting together the guestlist, remove thosecandidates who would bestbe described asacquaintances. This caninclude coworkers withwhom you don’t socialize, aswell as old college friends towhom you rarely speak.Distant cousins you haven’tspoken to in years can alsobe cut from the list.

• Don’t go overboard onthe gown. Styles are ever-changing, so there’s astrong chance brides won’tbe passing down theirwedding gowns to their owndaughters someday. What’s

popular now will likely seemoutdated by the time yourdaughter walks down theaisle. Keep this in mindwhen shopping for awedding dress, which can bemade in the same design asthe one you try on but withcheaper fabrics that are afraction of the cost.

The disparity between gowncosts in the United Statesand Canada should paint agood picture of how easilybrides can save money ontheir gowns. According to asurvey of wedding trendsconducted by Weddingbells,an online resource forCanadian brides, theaverage Canadian bride in2011 spent just under$1,800 on her weddinggown, while the averageAmerican bride spendsroughly $1,100 on her gown.Though the reasons for thatdisparity are unclear, it’ssafe to say there are savingsto be had for brides whodon’t want to break the bankpaying for their weddinggowns.

• Get hitched in the off-season. Many couplesprefer to get marriedsometime between themonths of May throughOctober. During thesemonths, venues andvendors, including limousineservices, caterers,photographers, musicians,and deejays, are moreexpensive. If you are willingto switch your wedding dateto the off-season you can

save a substantial amount ofmoney. In addition, you likelywon’t face as muchcompetition for the bestvenues and vendors as youwill during the peak weddingseason.

• Trim your beveragebudget. The bar tab at theend of the reception can beconsiderable, but there areways to save money whileensuring your guests canstill toast you and yours witha few libations. Rather thanoffering a full bar, limit thechoices to beer and wine,which will be perfectlyacceptable to most guestsanyway. In addition, ratherthan paying the caterer forthe wine, buy your own andyou’ll save a considerableamount of money. You mayhave to pay the caterer a feeto pour the wine, but that feeis negligible compared towhat you’d pay the companyto provide the wine.

• Choose a buffet-styledinner over waiter service.Many guests will no doubtprefer a buffet-style dinnerinstead of waiter service, sotake advantage of that andchoose a more affordablebuffet-style dinner thatallows diners to choose theirown entrees and sidedishes.

When it comes to trimmingwedding costs, couples willhave to make compromises.But those compromisesdon’t have to come at thecost of a beautiful andmemorable event.

Simple ways to saveon your wedding

A bride who’swilling to beflexible withrespect to herwedding gowncan save asubstantial amountof money.

Rather thanoffering a full bar,limit the choicesto beer andwine, which willbe perfectlyacceptable to mostguests anyway.

The guestlist is perhapsthe easiestplace to beginsaving money.

Many brides-to-be lookforward to the daywhen they visit a bridal

salon and are able to try ongowns for the first time. There

are certain tips thatcan make the day go muchmore smoothly and potentiallyreduce the amount of time itmay take to find the perfect

gown.

• Wear a supportive, wellconstructed strapless bra orcorset in your correct size. Ifyou will be wearing apetticoat, also have the rightsize available.

• Go without face makeupwhen trying on gowns so theyremain clean.

• Try to wear your hairsimilar to the style you havein mind for your wedding.

• Note that the size of thewedding gown you will wear is

typically one to two sizeslarger than your day-to-dayclothes. Propermeasurements can bematched to designers’ sizecharts.

• It’s best to limit thenumber of people withwhom you shop to 1 or 2trusted friends or familymembers. An entourage canbe confusing.

• It’s always better to order aslightly larger gown and leaveroom for alterations if you arebetween sizes.

Tips for trying on wedding gowns

2 Simple ways to save on your wedding Tips for trying on wedding gowns Floral terms to know3 Packing pointers for destination weddings Cash registry: It does exist Seating your wedding guests4 Test out wedding music vendors Save money with handmade invites5 Find a gown they all will love Getting guests to and fro: Wedding day transportation tips6 What to expect with a civil ceremony Save-the-date card etiquette7 Determining if a destination wedding is for you8 How to find the right banquet hall for your big day Here’s to you: Tips for a great best man toast9 Variety is the spice of life with wedding cuisine Make guests feel special with these extra touches10 Tips for writing your own wedding vows A matched set wedding bands from Clinton seal the deal in Australia

Biedermeier: A nosegayarranged tightly withconcentric circles ofdifferently colored flowers.The flowers are wired into aholder with only one type offlower in each ring.

Bouquet: A dense bunchof blooms that are kepttogether in a bouquetholder, wired or tied withribbon.

Crescent: One full flowerand a flowering stem wiredtogether to form a slenderhandle that is held in onehand.

Garden: A centerpiecefeaturing wildflowers.

Nosegay: Small, roundbouquets composed ofdensely packed roundflowers and fill.

Oasis: Specialized foamthat is used in bouquet

holders and centerpieces toretain water and keepblooms fresh.

Pomander: A flower-covered ball that issuspended from a ribbon. Itis often carried by childattendants.

Posies: Smaller thannosegays but similar indesign.

Presentation: A bunch oflong-stemmed flowerscradled in the bride’s arms.It’s sometimes known as apageant bouquet.

Topiary: Flowers trimmedinto geometric shapes.

Tossing: A smaller copy ofthe bride’s bouquet to usein the bouquet toss.

Tussy mussy: A small,metallic holder to carrya posy.

Before discussing tablesettings for theirweddings, many

couples find it helpful tobrush up on some floralterminology before visitingflorists.

It can make you appearmore knowledgeable andprepared if you understand

what will be discussed andare able to choose what youwant. It also helps to ensureyour money is being spent inthe best way possible.

Here are some common andsome lesser known floristterms that can beadvantageous to know.

Floralterms toknow

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2013 | 3WWW.CLINTONHERALD.COM WEDDINGS

Weddings are filled withmany emotions:happiness, excitement

and anticipation, to name afew. With all of the positiveemotions a wedding may drumup, in the mix there may be afew negative ones, includingfeelings of being overwhelmedat all the details that need to becompleted on a deadline.

One aspect of weddingplanning that tends to sendpeople into panic is weddingreception seatingarrangements. The thought ofhaving 200 friends and familymembers together under one

roof — and then attempting toseat them next to anacceptable group of people —can cause some couples tohyperventilate.

Every family has its ups anddowns, and there are certainpeople who get along well anda few who clash. Ensuring thata wedding is memorable for allthe right reasons (and not forthe brawl at table 3) is whyseating arrangements are soimportant. Many couples canuse a little advice when seatingguests, while others would loveanother person to handle theseating arrangements for them.

Seatingyour wedding guests

Here are some guidelines forsetting up reception seatingarrangements.• Place yourselves, as well as thebridal party, at a separate table that isin a prime location in the room. Besure to allow the spouses or dates ofbridal party members at the sametable so couples remain together.

• Some couples choose to seat bothsets of parents at one table together— the parents’ table. Grandparentsmay also be seated at this table,depending on the number of peopleeach table can accommodate.

• If children under the age of 7 areinvited, they should be seated withtheir parents. Children between ages7 and 14 can be seated at a separatekids’ table.

• Be mindful of guests with disabilitiesor mobility issues. Seat them close tothe door, bathrooms or food station.

• Instead of separating the bride andthe groom’s family to separate sides,intermingle the tables to promoteconversation.

• Consider arranging guests bycommon interests at each table,seating business associates orparents’ friends together.

• Take into consideration people whohave relationship rifts and try to seatthem separately. But don’t stressabout this too much because it won’tbe possible to accommodateeveryone. You’ll have to hope that atyour wedding a certain level ofdecorum will preside.

• It’s not unheard of to let guests seatthemselves. This takes the pressureof finding a seat for everyone off ofyou as a couple and enables you tothink about the other tasks at hand.This can take place at a buffetwedding or a smaller affair.

In a 2012 study of destinationweddings conducted by The KnotMarket Intelligence, a research wingof TheKnot.com, researchers foundthat 350,000 destination weddingsoccur each year. That figure meansnearly one in four couples who tiedthe knot in 2011 had a destinationwedding, a roughly five percentincrease from 2009.Destination weddings have grown inpopularity for a variety of reasons, not theleast of which is the appeal of getting marriedin an exotic or unique locale. In addition, 65percent of survey respondents said theychose a destination wedding because theywanted a more intimate affair with fewerguests.

Whatever the reason behind a couple’sdecision to have a destination wedding, thereare things such couples must consider thatothers who chose a local ceremony can affordto overlook or place a smaller emphasis upon.Packing is one aspect of a wedding that’smore important to couples having adestination wedding than those gettingmarried closer to home. Once a coupleboards a plane to head off to their destinationwedding, any items left behind will staybehind. So it’s important for couples gettingmarried far away from their homes to developa plan with respect to packing so they don’tforget or damage any important elements ofthe wedding.

• Start with a checklist. Couples shoulddevelop of checklist of items they will need tobring with them. Make this list as extensive aspossible, including everything that will have tobe packed, such as clothing, toiletries, jewelry,reservation information, and anything else you

expect to need on your trip. Check off itemson this list as you pack them away, and checkthe list the night before you embark to makesure you have everything.

• Carry on especially important items.Some items are simply to important to pack. Abride’s wedding gown and the groom’s tuxedofall into this category. Unfortunately, checkedbags can get lost, and no bride or groomwants to arrive at their destination withouttheir gown or tux. An airline may providebrides with a garment bag to store thewedding gown, and the gown and tux canlikely be hung in the plane’s closet withoutfear of other passengers putting items on topof them.

In addition to the wedding day attire, don’tstore items like the wedding rings or familyheirlooms in a checked bag. Carry theseitems in a purse or securely store them in acarry-on bag.

• Consider mailing welcome packagesafter you return home. Welcome packagesare nice gestures that show your guests justhow much you appreciate their being there foryour big day. However, when having adestination wedding, couples may discoverthat their premade welcome packages are toobulky or just too numerous to easily fit intoluggage. Instead of taking these to yourdestination, mail them to your guests after youreturn home. The packages might not bethere to welcome guests, but the sentiment isstill the same and guests will appreciate thegesture just the same. If you plan to go thisroute, talk to the hotel in advance to see ifthey can help you put together a smallerpackage so guests are still welcomed to thedestination.

• Be wary of shipping items ahead of you.Some couples ship some important items totheir hotel ahead of time. While this mightseem like an easy solution to packingwelcome packages or other special itemssuch as decorations, these items can easilyget lost in the mail or stranded at customs.Shipping items ahead might seem like a greatidea, but couples must weigh the potentialrisks before placing important items insomeone else’s hands.

Packingpointers fordestinationweddings

It is sometimes difficult to ask for what youtruly want as a gift. After all, you don’t wantto seem like you are picky, overly choosy or

ungrateful when receiving gifts. So forholidays and birthdays you may make dowith keeping mum and being thankful forthose sweaters or knickknacks you don’tneed. But what about when it comes to yourwedding?

Industry experts say that more and morecouples are coming into the marriage withtheir household already established. Whetherthey’ve chosen to live together during theirengagement or have already accumulatedtheir own housewares, there’s a goodchance that a new toaster or set of towels isnot high on their priority lists. What manycouples need and can use is cold, hardcash. But it’s not so easy to ask for cash in atactful way. That’s where specialized giftregistries come into play.

With the services of a cash or other type ofgift registry, like Deposit a Gift(www.depositagift.com), couples can createa customized registry and Web site and askguests to help build their dreams one dollarat a time.

Instead of shower or wedding guestsshowing up with a gift box or bag in tow, theysimply deposit money toward an item thecouple is saving for. This may be a new set of

cabinets for their newly purchased home or atool to place in the garage. With a briefdescription and a price attached to theregistry item, guests can help fulfill the dollaramount needed for the couple to laterpurchase things they truly need.

Couples can use the registry as a savingsaccount and watch the dollar amount grow.Later on they can go out and purchase theitems they need or use the money foranother purpose. There’s no need to worryabout duplicate blenders or engravedflatware that may never be put to use. Also,precious time doesn’t need to be spentbefore the wedding sorting, storing andexchanging items that were gifted.

There are also advantages for the peopledoing the gifting. With the ease of a fewmouse clicks, they’re able to deposit moneyinto the registry account. That means nofussing with stores or gift wrap, and certainlyno lugging large gifts to a remote bridalshower location — a task not easily done inheels.

A site like Deposit a Gift will charge aminimum service fee to oversee the bankaccount where the funds are being storedand for credit card and other processingcharges. The fee can be paid by the personestablishing the registry or the gift-givers.The money is held in an FDIC-backed bankaccount and can be withdrawn whenever youchoose to cash out the account and themethod of payment.

Cash registries provide a polite way ofasking friends and relatives for the items youcan really use to start your new livestogether as a married couple. Furthermore,the same registry concept can be applied toany major events in life moving forward, fromthe birth of children to birthdays to holidays.

Learn more about cash registries at sites likeDepositAGift.com, OurWishingWell.com andGoGift.com.

CASHREGISTRY:It does existCash registries provide a politeway of asking friends andrelatives for the items you canreally use to start your new livestogether as a married couple.

Calligraphy, embossing, fonts,watermarks — these and other termsare finely engrained in the wedding

stationery lexicon. While traditionalists maypore over carefully crafted invitations andother stationery products from commercialprinters, couples looking to rein in weddingspending may choose to take a more hands-on approach to wedding invitations … byprinting the invites themselves.

Before the advent of sophisticated homecomputer systems and affordable desktopprinters, brides- and grooms-to-be had torely on professional printers and engravers.The process of producing wedding invitationslikely involved printing plates or some form ofthermography and took place in a buildingreplete with bulky equipment and thepungent aroma of ink. Though formal andoften exquisitely executed, these weddinginvitations can still prove quite expensive.

The Bridal Association of Americasays that the average cost ofprofessionally produced weddinginvitations is $659. This refers toinvitations that have printed envelopes, replycards, and printer reply card envelopes.Changes in design or even the color of thetext can impact prices further. It is notunheard of to spend as much as $2,000 forhigh-quality engraved wedding invitations.Considering the invitation is held for a shortperiod of time and then tossed away, somecouples cannot imagine spending so muchon invitations. In such instances, making yourown invitations may be the most affordableoption.

As the evolution of home-based printing hasbroadened the possibilities of do-it-yourselfprinting, couples who hope to design andproduce their own wedding invitations havemany options at their disposal.

Save money withhandmade invitesPre-Made KitsA visit to a stationery store or even thelocal craft retailer should present shopperswith several different wedding invitationkits. These packages often include blankinvitations, response cards, envelopes andother embellishments pertaining to theinvitation design. Some can be quiteelaborate, with the inclusion of vellum orcard inserts, as well as die-cut designs.Couples who want control over the wordingand printing but would rather leave thecreative design to someone else canbenefit from these invitation kits. They alsotend to be affordably priced in comparisonto a professional printing service.

Crafty Card-MakingInterest in scrapbooking and card-makinghas spurred craft centers to stock manydifferent materials that can be used todesign wedding invitations. Layeringdifferent types of paper to create a three-dimensional effect and usingembellishments such as rhinestones orribbon can help dress up the weddinginvitation.

Couples hosting a casual wedding for asmall number of guests may enjoy theprocess of hand-crafting weddinginvitations and possibly customizing themfor each guest. Intimate affairs lendthemselves well to this level ofpersonalization, and handmade invitationscould set the cozy tone of the celebration.

Graphic Design WorkCouples who have a creative spark maywant to draw up their own invitation designor look for the assistance of an artist orgraphic designer. There are many differentprograms that employ the use of clip artand stock imagery that can be put to usewith regard to invitations. Those who havea cursory knowledge of some designapplications can import text and imagesand manipulate the size of their templatesaccordingly for the type of invitation theydesire. The finished file then can be printedat home or brought to an office supplycenter for more professional results.

Digital ServicesThe Internet has brought many servicesright into the homes of the average person.Discount invitation printing vendorsabound and couples can choose andcustomize everything they want on theirinvitations. Due to low overhead costs andan abundance of customers, these onlineretailers are often priced lower than othervenues. Depending on how much controlthe couple desires over the invitation, theremay be ready-made templates or theability to pick items “ a la carte.”

The opportunities to create weddinginvitations at home enables some budget-conscious couples to keep costs forstationery at a minimum. Not only doesmaking their own invitations save money, italso enables couples to have morecreative control over one of the importantcomponents of a wedding that helps setthe tone for the occasion.

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Music is an integralelement of many of life’sspecial events. The score

of a movie can carry a film, and atender song can bring tears to aperson’s eyes during a stageproduction.

Many couples spend lots of timechoosing a song for their firstdance at their wedding. Whilethat song is significant, couplesshould devote lots of time tochoosing a band or deejay forthe reception as well.

Statistics compiled from avariety of sources,including USA Today,TheKnot.com and Bridesmagazine, point out thatroughly 80 percent ofguests say the thing theyremember most about awedding is theentertainment. Whenasked, many couplesadmit they wish theyspent more time andmoney choosing theirwedding entertainment.

Music helps make memories andgets guests on their feet. Thosewho enjoy themselves most atthe wedding are often the peoplewho are on the dance floor. It isimportant to note that priceshouldn’t be the deciding factorfor wedding day entertainment. Itis crucial to see theentertainment provider in actionto judge for oneself just howgood he or she is.

One of the best ways to witnessa deejay or band in action is toattend a wedding where they willbe working. Find out if you canspend a little while peeking into awedding and gauge guests’responses to the music and findout how the entertainmentengages the crowd. Theentertainer may be able toarrange this with a couple froman upcoming wedding so thatyou don’t necessarily have tocrash the wedding. If a musicalentertainment company is waryof letting you see players inaction, it may be an indication tolook elsewhere.

Another good way to see foryourself if the entertainmentfactor is high is to pay attentionto the bands and deejays used atweddings you attend. If you areplanning nuptials in a year or themonths to come, take the cardsor information of the entertainersyou come across at weddingsand any special event parties. Ifthere is someone who is doingan impeccable job, there shouldbe no hesitation to hire thatperson for your own wedding.Don’t be embarrassed to ask afriend or family member for thename and number of theirdeejay.

If you have specific musicrequirements, such as culturalmusic or certain versions ofsongs you prefer to be played, itis key to discuss this with thedeejay or band ahead of timeand confirm they can meet yourneeds. Certain wedding vendorsmay promise you the world butfail to deliver. Ask the deejay for aplaylist to see his or herselections for the wedding. Find

out if the band has a compilationthey can send to you so you cansee how they sound performingsome of the more popular songstypically played at weddingreceptions.

If you like a particular band ordeejay, double-check that thepeople you see playing areactually the ones who will beperforming at your wedding.Many times performers are partof larger companies that havemany people working under onename. If you’re not careful, youmay not get the same performeryou had hoped for. Requestspecific individuals if you want toguarantee that the music will bewhat you heard at a previouswedding or during a trialperformance.

Music can make or break awedding reception. Investample time into selectingand trying out vendors toensure fun is to be had byall.

Test outwedding musicvendors

When paring down the guest list fortheir wedding day, many couplescome to the realization that their

lists are loaded with out-of-town friends andfamily members. Though out-of-town guestswho accept an invitation to the wedding areresponsible for their own travel to thewedding destination, many couples feelobligated to arrange for travel to and fromthe wedding as well as the reception. Thelatter is especially important, as coupleswant to ensure their guests make it homesafely once the reception ends.

Transportation for guests to and from thewedding and reception is something couplescan easily overlook, but such arrangementscan ensure guests are on time for theceremony and that no guest has to worryabout whether or not it’s safe to drive homeafter the reception. Couples who don’t knowwhere to begin with regard to transportationfor their wedding guests might want to startwith the following tips.

• Shop around for shuttle service. Shuttleservice can be costly, but it’s also veryconvenient. Couples can arrange for shuttleservice from the hotel to the wedding, andthen from the wedding site to the banquet

hall where the reception is being held, andfinally from the reception site back to thehotel at the end of the night. Depending onthe size of the wedding party, the shuttleservice will likely recommend staggering theruns so every guest can take advantage ofthis convenient service. More runs will benecessary for larger parties, while a handfulof runs is likely all that’s necessary forceremonies with fewer guests.

• Consider a bus for smaller parties.Couples without an extensive guest list mayalso be able to get by with a single bus to getguests around throughout the day. A bus willprovide similar service as a series ofshuttles. The bus will likely only pick upguests at one specific time, making it anideal choice for smaller parties but lessconvenient for larger parties where someguests might want to retire earlier thanothers come the end of the night. A bus canbe more fun for guests, who can reunite onthe bus with others they have not seen in awhile or make new friends with guests whomight be affiliated with the other half of thewedding party.

• Discuss transportation with the hotelwhere guests will be staying. Somecouples may find that a shuttle service oranother transportation option will stretchtheir budget too thin. In such instances,speak with the hotel where guests will bestaying. Some hotels provide airport shuttleservice to guests, and may be able to offer asimilar service to the wedding for guestswho register their rooms under the weddingparty’s name. This may come at a fee, butcompare the cost of arrangingtransportation with the hotel versus a private

shuttle service. The former might be moreaffordable than the latter.

Even if the hotel cannot provide shuttleservice, the concierge or front desk staff maybe able to point in the right directionregarding an affordable shuttle service. Thiscan be especially valuable to couples havinga destination wedding who don’t know thearea very well.

• Get the details spelled out in writing.Like all aspects of planning a wedding, makesure you get the nuts and bolts of thetransportation package in writing beforewriting any checks. This should include theminimum hours the company will beavailable for guests as well as if there areany charges related to total mileage traveled.In addition, make sure the agreement clearlyspells out how many drivers will be available.Note when shuttles to the ceremony and theensuing reception will run, as well as howfrequently shuttles will be available to guestsonce the reception begins, and when the lastshuttle will leave the reception site at the end

of the night. Before signing any agreements,research the company to ensure all of itsdrivers are properly licensed.

• Inform the guests. Of course, the guestswill need to be informed of the transportationarrangements upon checking into the hotel.Don’t assume you will see each guest beforethe ceremony, as some may not be making itinto town until the morning of your weddingday, when you will likely be too busy to meetwith them. So be sure to includetransportation instructions in the welcomepackages guests will receive when theycheck into the hotel. Consult with hotel staffa day or two before your wedding to ensurethose packages are ready to go and that thecorrect transportation information isincluded.

Transportation for wedding guests might notbe at the top of many couples’ priority lists,but arranging for such transportation canensure everyone enjoys the ceremony andmakes it home safe and sound at the end ofthe night.

Close friends and family members arean important component of a couple’swedding day. Individuals who are

especially close to the bride and groom areoften asked to become members of thewedding party, which means a bride-to-bewill be asking one or more women to play anintegral role in the celebration. To set theseladies apart from other guests at thewedding, they are often asked to wearcoordinating bridesmaid gowns. Selecting astyle and color that is fitting to the unique

people of the bridal party can bechallenging, but it’s not impossible.

As if choosing your maid of honor wasn’ttricky enough, you now must make a host ofother decisions as well, all while playingstylist to the wedding party. Fashion sense isas unique as a fingerprint, and it is unlikelythe bridesmaids will be able to agree onevery aspect of the gowns they will be askedto wear. However, there are ways to narrowdown the choices and be as accommodatingas possible to their needs.

Size mattersThe body shapes and sizes of the women inyour bridal party will be different, and thisshould be kept in mind when selecting agown style and cut. There are certain dressshapes that are universally flattering, suchas A-line. Try to avoid gowns that areextremely form-fitting, as only a few of thebridesmaids may be able to pull off this looksuccessfully. The remainder could be leftfeeling self-conscious and uncomfortable.Plus, form-fitting clothing will be restrictiveand can be difficult to move around in —particularly considering the gown will beworn for an entire day.

Flattering ColorAs a bride you may have a colorscape inyour mind for the wedding. But what looksgood in table linens and flowers is notalways the right choice for clothing. Take theskin tones and hair colors of yourbridesmaids into consideration beforechoosing a dress. Green- and yellow-hueddresses may not look nice on women witholive skin tones, while very pale colors maywash out women with fair skin. Those withdark skin may need a brighter-colored dress.

Price TagIt is an honor to be asked to be part of abridal party, but that honor can be veryexpensive. The bridesmaids are expected topay for their wardrobe, hair styling, andmakeup, as well as parties and gifts for thehappy couple. As a courtesy to the womenwho already will be investing a considerableamount to be a part of your wedding, makeevery effort to select a gown that isaffordable. There are plenty of retailersoffering stylish options that may not be asexpensive as some specialty stores.

Other TipsOnce you’ve decided on the basic elements,

consider the following suggestions to find agown that the bridal party will enjoy.

• Take one or two bridesmaids shoppingwith you. Try to select ones with oppositebody types so you can see how the gownlooks on a woman who is thin and one whomay be more full-figured.

• Think about choosing separates. Thebridesmaids can mix and match tops andbottoms to find a fit that works. This mayenable a woman with a larger bust size toselect a top with supportive straps whileanother bridesmaid can opt for strapless.Many stores have increased their inventoryof separates because of their growingpopularity.

• Choose one color and then let thebridesmaids choose the style they likethe best for themselves. The look will stillbe cohesive, but it won’t be boring with onetype of gown. Also, each bridesmaid will becomfortable with a gown that flatters hershape.

• Go with a tea-length gown. These gownshave become quite trendy and are lessformal and cumbersome than full-lengthgowns. Plus, there is a greater likelihood thatthe gown can be used again at a later date.

• Purchase the bridesmaid gowns at thesame store where you will be purchasingyour wedding gown. Most shops will offer acourtesy discount if the bridesmaid gownsare purchased at the same store.

Ensuring bridesmaids are happy in theirgowns takes a little work but will be wellworth the effort.

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2013 | 5WWW.CLINTONHERALD.COM WEDDINGS

Find a gownthey all will love

Gettinggueststo and froWedding daytransportation tips

A little patience can help a bride-to-be select bridesmaidgowns that are flattering to all the members of her bridalparty.

Many people dream of a wedding in achurch or synagogue before dozensof family members and friends, while

there are others who prefer to forgo thefanfare of a large wedding ceremony and arecontent with a civil wedding instead.

Civil ceremonies are often a choice forcouples who may have different religious

beliefs or do not belong to a particularreligious persuasion. In lieu of beingpresided over by a pastor, priest or rabbi,civil ceremonies are conducted by anauthorized official, such as a judge or justiceof the peace. The marriage also can beperformed by a licensed wedding officiant.Depending on where a couple lives, mayorsor even notary publics can solemnize amarriage. Pilots and ship captains also maybe able to preside over the ceremony. Somestates and provinces will allow anyone tosolemnize a wedding, provided they havefiled for a special permit for the day.

In terms of location, the most basic of civilceremonies take place at the countycourthouse, where paperwork is immediatelyfiled. Ceremonies also occur at City Hall.Couples can choose to hire an officiant to goto another location to oversee the marriageceremony. The latter is the more expensiveoption and will be based on the officiant’sschedule.

The structure of a civil marriage is muchmore lax than those which follow the moretraditional course. Rather than beingrequired to wear a certain wardrobe or meet

with the requirements of a particular churchor other house of worship, couples often findflexibility with the civil route. Although somebrides and grooms prefer to wear a tuxedoor suit and a wedding gown, it is notnecessary to do so. There are many coupleswho have tied the knot in more casualclothing or even costumes.

In order to participate in a civil ceremony,couples must secure a marriage license.This is usually obtained by a county registraror another officer of records where thecouple lives. Regulations will vary as to thetime period in which the ceremony can bedone after the mariage license is received.Some licenses may be voided if the coupledoes not tie the knot within a few days ofsecuring the license.

When the ceremony will take place isgenerally up to the couple and, if a memberof the judiciary will be overseeing thewedding, the courthouse. Some courtsrequire an appointment for the wedding,while others may have a walk-in policy.Determine these policies well in advance ofthe wedding day.

There is often a fee collected for the weddingceremony in addition to what was paid forthe marriage license. For those hiring aprivate officiant, the fee will be much higherthan what a clerk of the court will cost. Thecouple will need to bring the marriagelicense and photo identification. Twowitnesses also will need to be present with

their own photographic identification. Thesewitnesses will be needed to sign themarriage certificate.

Because there is no firm tradition withcivil ceremonies, couples may need to bemore hands-on when it comes toexecuting the wedding. Here are sometips to consider.

• An officiant may not organize thewedding, meaning it will be up to thecouple to choose vows, arrange wherepeople will stand, request any clericalblessings, or include any other specialelements.

• Some officiants enjoy presiding overweddings, while others see it as just apart of public duty. Couples can try tofind an officiant who meets with theirapproval and will keep with the tone thatis expected of the ceremony.

• For those adding personal vows, keepthem brief and tailored to the occasion.

• Know how many people can attend theceremony in advance. Couples shouldrecognize that space could be limited andrestricted to only a few people if thewedding is taking place at thecourthouse.

• Arrange the venue for a party afterward.Couples may choose to record a video ofthe ceremony for playback at a receptionto enable those who were not inattendance to be part of the specialmoment where the rings and vows wereexchanged.

Civil ceremonies are advantageous tothose who have factors that may make areligious ceremony unfavorable.

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rule of thumb, it is wise to mailout the cards 6 months inadvance for a standardwedding. If the weddingrequires travel or extendedovernight accommodations,you may want to mail them out8 months to a year in advanceto give guests the time toinvestigate flight costs andhotel arrangements. Awedding also may necessitateplanning a vacation orpersonal time off from work.Therefore, ample advancednotice is advisable.

Be sure to make your guestlist in advance of sending outsave-the-date cards. Everyonewho receives a card shouldalso be sent an invitation priorto the wedding. Remember toinclude any members of yourplanned wedding party in thelist of recipients. Just becausea person has verbally

confirmed attendance at yourwedding doesn’t mean theyshould be excluded fromsubsequent announcements.Guests may talk to oneanother and it is best to avoidhurt feelings and any addeddrama before the wedding bytreating everyone equally.

Be sure to include thewedding date, your namesand the location of thewedding on the save-the-datecards. You do not need tooffer RSVP information ordetailed specifics at this time.You may want to include aWeb site URL on the card soguests can check it frequentlyfor updates on weddinginformation. Be sure to alsoinclude that a formal invitationwill follow at a later date. Youdo not want to causeconfusion by having gueststhink that the save-the-datecard is the actual invitation.Also, make sure you addressthe save-the-date cardscorrectly to show yourintentions with respect toguest invites. For example, beclear about whether childrenwill be invited and whether aboyfriend/girlfriend or another

guest can tag along.

Although save-the-date cardsare not a necessity, they havebecome a popular part ofwedding planning to eliminate

confusion about invitations aswell as help guests plan timeoff for your wedding.

More and more couplesplanning to walk downthe aisle are

embracing save-the-datecards to give guests adequatenotice that there is a party onthe horizon.

Save-the-date cards do morethan let guests know whenyou’re getting hitched. Thecards are a preliminary way tokeep guests informed and letthem know they are, in fact,on the guest list. These cardshaven’t always been sopopular, but have risen inpopularity due to longerengagement periods, agrowing number of destinationweddings and the growingnumber of couples withguests from all over thecountry, if not the world.Considering people often planbusiness trips, vacations andother excursions severalmonths in advance, save-the-date cards help secure agreater number of attendeesat your wedding.

Save-the-dateannouncements can vary inmany ways. They may bepostcards or magnets thatcan be attached to arefrigerator door. If you desirea cohesive theme to yourwedding stationery, select thesave-the-date cards at thesame time you choose yourwedding invitations. This wayyou can ensure that either thepatterns, fonts, colors, or styleof the cards will match. It willalso help convey the tone of

the wedding. Guests oftentake their cues regarding thelevel of formality of thewedding from the type ofstationery couples choose.

When to send out the save-the-date announcements isimportant as well. As a general

card etiquette

Save-the-datecards informguests that awedding is on thehorizon, making iteasier to arrangetravel plans.

SAVETHE-DATE

What to expectwith a civil ceremonyMany couples forgo areligious ceremony, optinginstead for one that ispresided over by a civilofficiant at a courthouse oranother location.

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When the time comes to walk down theaisle, more and more couples arechoosing to make the procession in a

far-off land. Destination weddings are on therise, with researchers at TheKnot.comreporting that roughly one in four coupleswho tied the knot in 2011 chose to have adestination wedding.

Destination weddings may appear to be anideal way to tie the knot, but couples shouldknow that planning such a ceremony may beeven more difficult than planning a moretraditional affair. Couples who choose to havea destination wedding must be ready to put asignificant amount of faith in a weddingplanner, who is often affiliated with the resortwhere the couple will be staying. Though thewedding planner may handle many of thedetails concerning the ceremony and thereception, couples should know that some ofthat planning will still fall on their shoulders aswell. That planning may not be so simple, sobefore couples spread the word about theirisland wedding, it’s best to consider a fewfactors to determine if a destination wedding istruly the best way to go.

• Guests: How many guests a couple hopesto invite is a great starting point whendetermining if a destination wedding is for you.Many couples who choose to have adestination wedding do so because theyprefer a more intimate ceremony. Destination

weddings are obviously more expensive forguests than a more traditional ceremony, somany guests won’t be able to afford to attend.Couples who intend to invite many guestsmight want to avoid a destination wedding.

• Locale: The destination for your destinationwedding should be a locale that holds aspecial place in your heart. A random locationthat you find on the Internet might work out,but having some prior experience with thedestination can help you anticipate minor, yetpotentially problematic, issues. These issuescan include the accessibility of the airport,currency exchange rate and the weather. Inaddition, you can help guests have a bettertime on their trips if you have alreadyfamiliarized yourself with the locale. If youhaven’t traveled much as a couple and don’thave a particular place in mind, then youmight find a destination wedding is morehassle than it’s worth.

• Accessibility: A common problem manycouples encounter when planning adestination wedding is the accessibility of theirchosen locale. Couples will likely have to visitthe destination at least once prior to theirwedding, which will eat up some of yourwedding budget and your vacation time (whichyou will need to save for the actual weddingand your honeymoon). If the locale is a remoteisland that’s not very accessible, that canmake these pre-wedding trips pretty stressful.

Accessibility should also be a considerationfor your guests. How far will your guests haveto travel? How much money will guests haveto spend on airfare and hotelaccommodations? The less accessible thelocale is, the more you and your guests aregoing to have to spend.

Accessibility of the airport is anotherconsideration. Some island locales andresorts are known for their remoteness, whichcan be a problem for wedding guests. If theresort is a long ride away from the airport,that’s another expense for guests. The resortmay provide a shuttle service, but that cost willfall on the couple and the shuttle may not run

frequently, which can prove problematic whenguests’ arrivals are staggered.

• Legality: The law is another thing couplesmust consider when deciding if a destinationwedding is for them. Laws vary depending onthe locale, so before you commit to a specificlocale, make sure you’re legally allowed to getmarried there and if there are any hurdles youmust clear before you can. Those hurdlesmight be significant, and couples may findthey’re not worth the hassle.

Destination weddings are on the rise, butcouples must consider a host of factors toensure a destination wedding is truly for them.

Destination weddings can make for a beautiful ceremony, butsuch weddings are not for every couple.

Determining if adestination wedding is for you

For decades the month of June heldfirm as the most popular month forweddings. But statistics now indicate thatthere may be shifting preferences in thetime of the year for marriages. Accordingto The National Center for HealthStatistics, July and August are now themost popularmonths for tying the knot inthe United States. September andOctober have also gained momentumas premier months. Explanations for thisshift vary, but it may have something to dowith changing weather patterns andwarmer weather now arriving later in theseason than in the past. Also, gettingmarried later in the year may make iteasier for couples to secure their firstchoice of wedding venues.

DID YOUKNOW?

The best man toast can be one of themost memorable parts of a couple’swedding. Sometimes a toast ismemorable for its humor andheartfelt sense of appreciation forthe groom and his bride, while othertoasts are more memorable for allthe wrong reasons.One of the reasons best man toasts can be sounpredictable is that giving a best man toast issuch a unique experience. It’s something manymen never do, while those who do give a bestman toast may only do it once in a lifetime. It’sunderstandable to be nervous when asked togive a best man toast, but there are a few

tricks of the trade a best man can employ tocalm those nerves and ensure his toast ismemorable for all the right reasons.

• Practice makes perfect. Few people arecapable of standing in front of a crowd ofpeople and speaking off the cuff. A best manshould take this into account and practice hisspeech before the big day. A spur-of-the-moment speech may provide an adrenalinerush, but such an endeavor may come off as ifyou didn’t care enough to put the effort intowriting a thoughtful toast ahead of time. Inaddition, practicing the toast once it’s beenwritten will make you feel more comfortableand confident in front of the crowd. If possible,practice in front of a friend or family member soyou can solicit feedback. A friend or relativemight be able to help you fine-tune thespeech, which in turn can calm your nervesonce you’re handed the microphone.

• Avoid alcohol. Getting liquored up prior toyour toast is a recipe for disaster. Though itmay seem like a good idea to employ alcoholto calm your nerves and lower your inhibitions,it’s not a good idea. Consuming alcohol before

your toast increases the chance that you willend up embarrassing the bride and groom aswell as yourself.

• Get to the point. Men and women who haveattended their fair share of wedding receptionsno doubt have sat through a long-winded toastfrom the best man or maid of honor. Suchtoasts can bring a festive reception to agrinding halt, and guests will likely tune outbefore the best man or maid of honor gets tothe point. Being succinct should be a goal for abest man with regard to his toast. Avoid long-winded walks down Memory Lane in favor of atoast that thoughtfully cuts to the chase andlets everyone get back to celebrating.

• Spin a yarn.While it’s important to be brief,

don’t be so brief that no one at the receptionlearns about your relationship to the groom.Share a humorous anecdote from your mutualpast to illustrate the type of relationship youand the groom share with one another. Thisstory should have an element of humor butdon’t include anything too embarrassing, andall ex-girlfriends should be considered off-limits.

• Congratulate the couple. Because nervesplay such a significant part in many best mantoasts, it can be easy to forget to congratulateboth the bride and groom. Don’t just toast thegroom at the end of your best man speech;toast his new bride as well.

Here’s to youTips for agreat bestman toast

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Planning a wedding is no small feat, as couples arefaced with many decisions seemingly from the momentthey get engaged right up until they walk down the

aisle as man and wife. One of the biggest decisions a couplewill make is where to host the reception.

Couples must consider a variety of factors when looking forthe right banquet hall to host their reception. The wedding isa celebration, and the banquet hall is where the couple andtheir guests will let their hair down and hopefully enjoy afestive and memorable night. Because the reception is

typically the most lengthy portion of a couple’s wedding day,it’s important to find a place where everyone can becomfortable and enjoy themselves. The following are a fewtips for couples looking to find the ideal banquet hall to hosttheir wedding reception.

• Ask around.Word-of-mouth is a great way to find the rightbanquet hall. Ask friends or family members who got hitchedin the same town where your ceremony will be if they canrecommend a reception site. These friends or familymembers can provide a behind-the-scenes look at areception hall, from how accommodating the staff was to howflexible the banquet hall was with regard to pricing to howopen the staff was to suggestions. Wedding planning isn’teasy, so if friends, family members or coworkers recommenda hassle-free banquet hall, that recommendation can removea lot of the stress from planning a wedding.

• Consider the size of the facility. Some couples prefer anintimate affair with relatively few guests, while others willdesire a large wedding party with lots of guests. Couples canfind a banquet hall that’s capable of catering to small or largewedding parties, but find one that fits your party specifically.If your wedding party is small, then avoid a larger facility thatwill appear empty. If the party is large, make sure there’sadequate room so guests won’t feel like they’re sitting on topof one another during dinner and dessert.

• Don’t downplay décor. A banquet hall with an attractivedécor is not only aesthetically appealing but can appeal to acouple’s finances as well. Such a hall likely won’t need anyadditional decorations, while a banquet hall that’s unadornedand lacks embellishments will, and those decorations can dipinto a couple’s overall wedding budget. Compare the costs ofthe more decorated banquet hall with the one that’s moreplain in appearance, factoring in the cost to decorate thelatter, and you might just realize the one with more aestheticappeal is more affordable in the long run.

• Prioritize privacy. Few couples would be open to strangershaving easy access to their wedding reception. Whenshopping for a banquet hall, look for one that gives you andyour guests all the privacy you need. Many couples havetaken to hosting the entire ceremony at a hotel, which mayhandle the bulk of the planning and remove the hassle oftransportation for out-of-town guests. However, couplesconsidering a hotel should look for one that can promiseprivacy from other guests at the hotel who aren’t there for thewedding. The reception room should be secluded from therest of the hotel so other guests walking by aren’t tempted towalk in on the festivities.

The banquet hall is where couples can expect to spend mostof their time on their wedding day, so couples shouldexercise their due diligence to ensure they find an invitingand festive facility.

How to find the right banquet hallfor your big day

Wedding receptionsrun the gamut fromsmall, intimate

gatherings in a restaurant tolarge spectacles featuringhundreds of guests inside abanquet hall. At the heart ofany wedding reception is thedesire to present amemorable party for all inattendance. That being said,there are some stepscouples can take to addextra indulgence to weddingreceptions and really setthem apart from themundane.

With the average cost ofweddings now teeteringaround $28,000, couplescertainly are pulling outexpensive stops to treatguests to a good party.Although some may arguethat spending tens ofthousands of dollars on aone-time event ispreposterous, there arescores of couples who wantto splurge on an event that(hopefully) will be a once-in-a-lifetime occurrence. Withthis in mind, many want toadd special touches to thewedding that will showguests how much they areappreciated and to maketheir celebration differentfrom previous weddings.Here are some ways to dojust that.

• Butler-passed horsd’oeuvres: During thecocktail hour guests aremingling and takingadvantage of the opportunityto engage in conversation.This may be the last realopportunity to chat amongstone another before thevolume of the band ordeejay drowns outdiscussions. Rather thandisrupt the flow of

conversation to make a tripto the food stations, choosebutler-passed horsd’oeuvres to bring food rightto the guests. It lends afeeling of indulgence and isalso a convenient way tokeep guests satiated.

• Valet parking: Mostwedding venues provide on-site valet parking. However,if you’re using a restaurantor banquet hall that does notprovide this service, you canhire a valet company to dothe parking for guests. Whileyou will be whisked to andfro in the back of alimousine, guests will have

to do their own driving.Being able to exit the carright in front of the venueand not worry about findinga parking space will beconvenient for guests.

• Emergency toiletriesbaskets: Rather thanspending money on an extrafloral arrangement for themen’s and women’srestrooms, purchase itemsthat can be grouped into ahandy basket. For women,include items such as extrapairs of stockings, spraydeodorant, sanitary items,and sewing kits. For men,mints or mouthwash, dental

floss, cologne, and stainremoval pens may come inhandy. In the event that aminor mishap occurs duringthe wedding, guests willhave items at their disposalto remedy it.

• Specialty courses: Inaddition to the cocktail hourand the main meal, you maybe able to arrange specialtystations for guests withparticular palates orinterests. Some couples liketo have a cigar smoking areaor you can offer specialty

cocktails. When ethniccustoms are included in awedding, menu items can begeared around nativedishes. Candy and dessertbars are also popular tohave at weddings,particularly if children areinvited. A flambé dessertpresentation is both aspectacle and a treat.

• Overnightaccommodations: For thewedding that will run into thewee hours of the morning,offer guests a place to staynearby to remove the hassleof driving home at a latehour. Some reception hallshave arrangements withnearby hotels. For those thatdon’t, negotiate a discountedrate for wedding guests.Many do and will set aside ablock of rooms for your eventwith a discount code. Youmay want to treat guestswho choose to stay over to acomplementary breakfastthe next day as one finalshow of appreciation.

• Special seating: Guestswho may have mobility

issues or difficulty hearingmay appreciate beingseated in certain spots forconvenience. Seat theelderly or handicapped closeto the exits and therestrooms if possible. Whenchoosing a reception room,confirm the distance to therestrooms to make itconvenient for those whomay not be able to walk far.Those who may be sensitiveto the music can be seatedaway from the speakers. Andof course, every attemptshould be made to seatindividuals who may haveconflicts with others awayfrom one another.

• Birthday and anniversarymentions: You can notifythe band or deejay of anyguests in attendance whomay be celebrating their ownspecial events on yourwedding day or in closeproximity.

There are many extratouches you can take as acouple to make guests feelwelcomed and important atyour wedding.

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Weddings are a celebration whereinguests look forward to the receptionas much as the actual ceremony,

and the food served at the wedding is oftenhotly anticipated.

Wedding receptions feature a bevy ofdifferent foods to tempt the palates of those

in attendance. From appetizers servedduring the cocktail hour to the last crumb ofcake, food plays a big role in a weddingreception. Choosing foods for a receptioncan take a little forethought, especially whenthe wedding party is especially large. Thefollowing are a few suggestions to ensure

most guests are happy with the menuselections.

The first rule of thumb is variety. As much asbudget allows, give guests the choice overwhat they dine on. During the cocktail hour— if there is one — couples can play withmany different tastes and offerings. Forthose who want to be creative, this is thetime to do so. Exotic flavors can be servedalongside more traditional offerings thatguests recognize. For example, offer Asianfusion appetizers that may have spicealongside more traditional items, likeminiature quiches.

During the main course of the meal, giveguests a few options. Most catering facilitieswill offer suggestions in their meal packages.Couples can typically choose to offer a meatdish, a poultry and a seafood. This caters toa wide variety of diners.

It is important for couples to recognize thatmany people have food allergies or are onrestricted diets. While it may not be possibleto provide for everyone’s specificrequirements, it is possible to make someaccommodations First, ask the cateringmanager how his company provides forguests who are vegetarians or vegans.Ensure that the meal will not be simply abunch of garnishes and vegetable sidedishes lumped together.

In addition, couples should recognize thatmany people have now adopted gluten-freelifestyles. More and more restaurants andestablishments have expanded theirofferings to include gluten-free items, so it isimportant for the bride and groom to confirm.People who are diabetic and must limit their

consumption of sugars and carbohydratesmay appreciate a selection of sugar-freedesserts or lower carbohydrate foods. Whencouples focus on meeting the needs of theirguests, it shows they have put in the effort tomake everyone feel welcome andcomfortable at the wedding.

Couples who have the environment in mindcan choose to serve organic foods and lookto catering facilities that purchase foods fromlocal vendors and farms. If a banquet halldoes not make such concessions, ask ifspecialty items that benefit organic and localfood producers can be brought in. Somecaterers will be happy to make the change,but it will likely affect the cost of the weddingpackage to do so.

Food and drink will be some of the mostcostly portions of a wedding, and coupleswho are interested in keeping costs downcan still offer quality foods if they make somechanges. Varying the time of day that thewedding is held can enable a brunch orluncheon wedding to take place. These foodsare often less expensive and labor-intensiveto prepare, and therefore the cost savingsare passed down to the bride and groom.Some couples opt for a cocktail and horsd’oeuvre-only reception — which shouldclearly be indicated on the invitation so thatguests can plan accordingly. An informalwedding may feature only a selection ofdesserts and specialty liquors. This may bethe least expensive option.

Food is an important factor at a wedding andit is in a couple’s best interest to ensure thatthe food served is tasty, full of variety andacceptable to the majority of the guests whowill be attending the reception.

Variety is the spice of life with wedding cuisine

During the main course of themeal, give guests a fewoptions. Most catering facilitieswill offer suggestions in theirmeal packages.

Make guests feelspecial with these extratouchesArranging overnight accommodationsfor guests, complete withcomplementary breakfast, is a welcometouch for those who don’t want to travelhome once the wedding is over.

Awedding is a once-in-a-lifetime eventfor many couples, so brides andgrooms wish for the event to be

momentous and memorable. As such,couples are increasingly integrating personalnuances into their ceremonies andreceptions to tailor weddings to their uniquevisions. The desire to include personalizedwedding vows continues to be a populartrend.

If you are considering personalized weddingvows, first realize that it may not be a simpletask. That’s because you want the messageconveyed to be dear to your heart, and thatcan be challenging when faced with the

pressures and planning of the rest of thewedding. That isn’t to say that writing yourown vows is impossible. Here are someguidelines for personalizing your ceremonywith your own sentiments.

• Schedule time for writing. Amid thebustle of dress fittings and interviews withphotographers, it can be easy to put off theimportant task of writing vows for anotherday. But as any great writer can attest, ittakes writing — and rewriting — to achieve afinished product you can be proud of. Givethe task of writing your vows your undividedattention. Mark it in on your calendar or set areminder on your computer just as you wouldany other appointment.

• Be aware of ceremony guidelines. It isbest to check with your officiant and confirmthat personalized wedding vows are allowed.During civil ceremonies it’s often acceptableto customize vows as you see fit. However,during religious ceremonies there may belines of scripture that need to be read orcertain passages required. Before you spendhours working on the task, be sure that it isallowed and that your spouse and you are onthe same page.

• Jot down your feelings. Answer somequestions about what marriage means toyou and how you feel about your spouse. Tryto avoid trite sayings and think from yourheart and personal experiences. Think aboutwhat is the most important thing you want topromise to your future partner. These notescan serve as the starting points for the actualvows.

• Read inspirational writings. Perhapsthere is an author or a poet who inspiresyou? You can quote certain writers in yourvows or let the tone of their works help

shape the words of your vows. There alsoare suggested wedding readings and otherquotes about marriage readily available atthe library or with a quick search online.

• Decide on a tone. Although the day isbased on love and affection, you may notfeel comfortable spouting words of adorationin front of friends and family. Feel free to tapinto your unique personality. Humor can beused if it aligns with the way you normallyexpress your affections. Be sure to weavethis tone into more traditional passages tocreate a cohesive expression of yourfeelings.

• Establish an outline. Put together all ofthe words and phrases you’ve jotted downinto an outline to help you organize the flowof the vows, using these words as a blueprintfor the vows and building upon them. Makesure the vows will be concise. Aim for yourentire speech to be around 1 minute inlength to keep everyone engaged and theceremony moving along.

• Put everything together. Draft your vowsand then practice them by reading out loud.You want to avoid long sentences oranything that trips you up. Although largewords may sound impressive, they couldmake the vows seem too academic and notnecessarily heartfelt. Enlist the help of afriend or two to act as your audience to see ifthe vows sound good and are easilyunderstandable.

Writing your own vows can be a way toinclude personal expressions of love into acouple’s wedding day. Public speaking isseldom easy, nor is finding the perfect wordsto convey feelings about a future spouse.However, with some practice and inspiration,anyone can draft personalized vows.

Tips forwritingyour ownwedding vows

A matched setWedding bands from Clinton seal the deal in Australia

WWW.CLINTONHERALD.COM10 | THURSDAY, JANUARY 24, 2013 WEDDINGS

Right down to the rings, MarshaLuedtke-Cackett, of Morrison, Ill., saidher wedding was perfect.

Standing on Pinky Beach on Rottnest Islandin Western Australia, Marsha wed herhusband, Spencer Cackett, on Dec. 28. Itwas 103 degrees on the beach where theystood near a lighthouse overlooking theIndian Ocean. Her husband, who lives inAustralia, planned the wedding with hismother, Jean Cackett.

The wedding bands were specially made bythe staff at Don’s Jewelry, 200 Main Ave.Marsha said she was more than pleasedwith the work.

“I can't say enough about how awesomethey are,” Marsha said.

It was a four-year journey from the time theymet until that wedding took place. Marshamet Spencer four years ago while onvacation in Florida with her daughters,Kristin, Paige and Sammy. They kept incontact for the next year through emails and

phone calls.

“We became great friends for the next year,”Marsha said.

A year later, they saw each other for the firsttime in Vegas after Spencer lost a bet on theSuper Bowl to Marsha. Spencer came toClinton to meet her family and spend timewith her three daughters. Marsha then took atrip to Australia, with Spencer showing herthe area. He took her to an England-versus-Australia rugby match. Marsha said it wasthe best trip she had ever taken.

Marsha and Spencer were engaged for morethan two years before getting married.Marsha remembers the day they becameengaged.

“When he proposed, it was like everythingyou can ever imagine,” Marsha said.

Spencer took Marsha and her daughters to aremote ranch in Hannibal, Mo. They rentedhorses and had most of the space tothemselves. The couple rode horses up the

side of a hill and had a picnic. Marsharemembers how a bee was buzzing behindher and she asked Spencer to get it. Sheturned around and found him down on oneknee.

“And when he opened the ring, how could Isay no,” Marsha said. “And right as I wassaying yes, my kids came riding up the hillon horses.”

Spencer and Sammy went to Don’s Jewelryto look at samples of different settings forMarsha’s ring. She felt it was great that herdaughter was involved in the process.Sheralyn Bartels, one of the owners of Don’sJewelery, said it was a real family affair. Theypicked out a ring and then Marsha came into look at the settings herself.

“The one they picked out ended up beingone of the two that she ended up pickingout,” Bartels said.

Don’s Jewelry ordered the setting. The ringwas then customized to fit the center stonethat Spencer provided. Bartels said they do a

lot of custom work, with everything done onthe premises.

“We put our heart and soul in everyengagement ring purchase that we make,”Bartels said.

Marsha has been friends with Bartels foryears. Before Marsha was set to head toAustralia for the wedding, Bartels held aspecial shower for her with her friends fromClinton, LeClaire and Port Byron, Ill. Bartelspresented her with the completed ring andhad Spencer on Skype so he could see herface when she saw it for the first time.

Bartels said that at Don’s Jewelry, theyunderstand how important engagement andwedding rings are. She encourages brides tobring their ring in twice a year so they canpolish it and make it look new again.

Bartels was excited to have been able to seeMarsha’s professional wedding photographsfeaturing the ring. She would like to seesimilar pictures from other couples whopurchased their rings at the store.

By Samantha PiddeHerald Staff Writer