Once love is found, young people often face disapproving parents who reject the marriageproposal. For this reason, they may try to deceive their parents about their relationship

Youngsters in Muscat choose not to date in public to avoid damaging their family name or distressing parents who hold traditional values

is audited by:AVERAGE WEEKLY CIRCULATION 50,850

To book Retail Ads/Classifieds/Free listings Call 24 799388 www.theweek.co.om

Young people in love have to find ingenious ways to date in the city

www.theweek.co.omEmail: theweek@apexstuff.com INSIDE Food for Valentine’s Day: Local

chefs suggest recipes for February 1412Road accident figures: Fifteen deathsin traffic accidents in a week05 Megafest 2010: March festival to include folk

dance, a fashion show and dance competitions11

THE DATE DEBATE

Page 08

Oman Sail boats scoop prizes in the Extreme 40 Sailing Series

Asia competition

MASIRAH WINS

GRAND PLANS

Page 06

Danish architect roped in to makeMuscat more people-friendly

CREATIVE CRUCIBLE

Page 10

A workshop for artists from Omanand India begins on February 16

Oman's FREE Independent Weekly Paper Wednesday 10 February 2010

JUST 4 FUN Just for 10 BzFor more information, please visit www.nawras.om or your closest Nawras Store or call 9501 1500.

FutureSMS...Control and Flexibility

SMS2Email...Email without internet

FlashSMS...Simple and Fun

ISSUE 362 Send in your offbeat pictures Be a citizen journalist �

WINNER OF THE JUDGES’ SPECIAL RECOGNITION AWARD AT ASIA MEDIA AWARDS 2008

www.theweek.co.om email: theweek@apexstuff.com 24799388

02FEBRUARY 10, 2010

coverIS

SU

E 3

62

Legal questions? Email hotseat@apexstuff.com for answers

Picture the scene. You are in a popular restaurant in Muscat whenyou notice a beautiful Omaniwoman dressed up in her bestabaya but alone in one corner ofthe restaurant texting away on herphone. She finishes writing hermessage and places her phoneback on the table. Moments later ayoung Omani man, who is sittingon the opposite side of the restau-rant to the woman, picks up hisphone after a text tone goes offloudly. He smiles and starts reply-ing; the woman meanwhile sips herdrink and toys with her pasta.

Maria, an expatriate from theUK working in Oman, thought thiswas just a coincidence until a sec-ond after the young man put downhis phone, the girl’s loud doorbell-style ring-tone announced she hada reply. The messages continuedthroughout the meal until the girlpaid her bill and left, the youth following minutes later. After raising the incident with some local friends of hers, Maria was surprised when they said thesetypes of encounters were becomingincreasingly common as youngmen and women try to date or getto know each other without riskingdamage to their family name or dis-tress to their traditional parents.

‘Reality-in-Oman’ is a youngand popular Omani blogger who ismarried and thinks there are a

number of problems facing youngpeople in Oman when it comes tofinding a partner. “One problem isthat dating is looked down on.Good girls don’t date and goodboys never marry girls who havebeen in previous relationships.

The idea of absolute purity andinnocence seems to be most domi-nant when it comes to selectingyour future partner, which is notpossible,” she said.

‘Reality-in-Oman’ feels that it is alack of communication and under-standing between young peopleand their parents that cause prob-lems for those trying to date. Shefinds the kind of secret relation-ships like the one described aboveto be unfortunate. She said, “Some-times the hardest part is not findinglove, but finding a healthy relation-ship that allows two people to grow.

“Once love is found, young peo-ple face another huge obstacle thatthey have to pass, which is present-ing that love to their families in thehope of receiving a positiveresponse. Instead, many couplesare faced with angry parents whoreject the marriage proposal.Hence, you find couples looking forways to deceive their parents intobelieving that the guy just hap-pened to see the girl somewhereand fell in love.”

Baidha al Sikaiti, a PR managerin Muscat, thinks that with theincrease in people attending pri-vate schools and studying abroad,along with the influence of mediasuch as cinema and television,young people are being exposed toa more Western culture thanbefore. They try to balance this with

maintaining their own culture andvalues. She said, “Dating is notsomething our families accept, as itis not part of our culture, but peo-ple do date here, and it has becomethe norm.

“Valentine’s Day is a special day

DATINGIN THECITY

of celebration that all men andwomen look forward to, as it’s niceto receive flowers and gifts fromsomeone special. There is nothingwrong with dating, but it is veryimportant to have your limitations

as well as respect for yourselvesand your family.”

Malik al Kuwili first fell in lovewith his future fiancée in 2003 after they got talking at a familyfunction. Outside of the event theirrelationship continued to grow as

COVER STORY CONTINUED FROM PAGE 1

they called and messaged eachother via their mobile phones. Itwasn’t until 2007 that Malik dec-ided to propose to his girlfriend;when he did, she accepted andasked him why it had taken him so long. With no safe place to meet, the couple see one another atfamily functions and other socialgatherings, but made the decisionnot to date in public.

Malik said, “I don’t want to bringa bad name to her by going out withher in public. Since we know eachother well, that is enough for us.Besides, concepts like Valentine’sDay do not bring much excitementto our relationship.” Despite this,some of his family members disap-prove of the match, as she does notcome from the same community ashim. In response to this Malikhopes things will settle peacefullyin the future.

But Malik is not the first personto face problems when it comes tothe tricky world of love and

HONEST COUPLES FACE REJECTION “Once love is found, young people face another huge obstacle that they have to pass, which is

presenting that love to their families in the hope of receiving a positive response. Instead, many

couples are faced with angry parents who reject the marriage proposal.”

BEATING THE STIGMA“One problem is that dating is looked down on. Good girls don’t date and good boys never marry

girls who have been in previous relationships”

Emma Williamstheweek@apexstuff.com

romance. Salim had to seek thecourt’s intervention to marry thewoman he loved because her par-ents did not agree to his proposal,even though the woman did. Salimsaid that despite six years passingsince the couple managed to marrysuccessfully, he does not enjoy agood relationship with his in-laws.

Tuwera al Mazrooe, a student inMuscat, does not think it is hard tofind a date here as people will oftenapproach others for fun, introducethemselves and start a conversa-tion. Tuwera thinks that the currentcultural attitude in Oman makes itdifficult for children to be allowedto date unless their parents are veryopen-minded. She said, “Peopleneed to be a little more broad-minded and not link up two peoplejust because they are talking.”

Some names have been changed to

protect identities

(Inputs from Kimberly Rodrigues

and Joseph Benny)

“People need tobe a little morebroad-minded”Tuwera al Mazrooe

“I don’t want tobring a bad name to her bygoing out withher in public”Malik al Kuwili

“Dating is notsomething ourfamilies accept as it is not part ofour culture”Baidha al Sikaiti

24799388 email: theweek@apexstuff.com www.theweek.co.om

cover 03FEBRUARY 10, 2010IS

SU

E 3

62

�BE A CITIZEN JOURNALIST

mail: citizen@apexstuff.com