the law is an ass
TRANSCRIPT
A location to die forIf you fancy a spot of eternal life, forget the Holy Grail: just go and live in the remote
Arctic town of Longyearbyen, where dying is against the law. Actually, this is because it was found that bodies didn’t decompose in the permafrost. The graveyard
stopped accepting newcomers 70 years ago; so if you fall gravely ill there now, you will be hastily dispatched by plane to the mainland, where you can end your days
without getting arrested.
Where’s that dessert trolley When dining at a restaurant in Denmark, you don’t have to pay for your food unless,
by your own opinion, you are ‘full’ at the end of your meal. A wafer-thin mint, sir?
If you ever suffer at the rubber-gloved hands of a suspicious and painfully overzealous British customs officer, don’t be tempted to take him or her to court – no matter how
innocent you are. Section 268 of the Customs Laws Consolidation Act 1876 rules that no action can be brought against such an official without one month’s notice. While Section
272 of the same Act insists that any action must be started within one month of the incident.
Fat fighters You are forbidden to be fat in Japan. Although their country already has one of the world’s
lowest obesity rates (less than 5 per cent, in contrast to the USA’s 35 per cent), that didn’t stop Japanese lawmakers from setting a maximum waistline size in 2009. Every man aged 40 and
over must not have a waist measuring 80cm or above, every woman, 90cm or above. And this from the land that brought us sumo wrestling…
Barefaced CheekIf you’re on a safari in Kenya and your guide suddenly removes all of his clothes before wandering off towards the wildlife, do resist the temptation to do the same. While it’s
completely legal for Kenyan citizens to streak across the Masai Mara, it is illegal for foreigners to do so. It’s also deeply inadvisable for at least 147 other reasons.
I wonder what that teddy was doing there In Denmark, you legally have to check under your car for children who may be
sleeping there before you start the engine. But don’t panic too much if you forget and get thrown in jail for running over some catnapping kids – in Denmark it is not against
the law to escape from prison.
Not feeling very flushYou must plan your movements very carefully in Switzerland. Flushing the toilet after 10pm
in an apartment building is illegal there. The Government curiously considered noise pollution to be more anti-social than olfactory pollution. Not sure we agree with them on
that one. Anyway, whether you relieve yourself and leave the flat humming, or you just wait until morning, the choice is completely yours.
Out of this worldAccording to the brilliantly named ‘The Outer Space Act 1986’, the Secretary of
State is permitted to use ‘reasonable force’ to prevent an alien invasion of the UK – as long as the aliens don’t possess a licence to invade. In which case, they can operate their ‘space objects’ in perfect legality. This is the sort of law that truly
made Britain great.
Drunken DisordersDrinking a lot is confusing enough without having to remember a myriad of boozing
bylaws. For example, in St Louis you can’t drink beer while sitting on a city street, but in Chicago you can be arrested for drinking standing up anywhere in the city. You cannot be
served wine in a teacup in Topeka, Kansas; while in Cleveland, no more than one person may sip from a whisky bottle. Saskatchewan in Canada at least has the rights of the drinker at its civic heart – it is against the law to drink water in beer parlours there.
Czech your changeIf you’re in Prague and your taxi driver ups the meter setting beyond the standard rate of
‘level 1’, watch out. If he turns it up to ‘level 2’ he might just be ripping you off – par for the tourist course. But if he cranks it up all the way to ‘level 3’ then it’s time to panic. This is the official Government-sanctioned rate that must be used for all taxi rides following a
nuclear explosion.
A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention
of Gaming.
Students in Bangladesh have a tough life. In Bangladesh, children 15 and older can be put in jail for cheating on their final examinations. Every year,
Bangladeshi government takes strong measures to stop cheating and carries out a massive media campaign to forewarn students through print and
television. Talks about paying maximum penalty while still a student.
Talk about getting oneself in some sticky situation. In Singapore, chewing gum is
prohibited. This rule was introduced because of the high cost and difficulty in removing
stuck chewing gum from public premises. In particular, chewing gum stuck on the Mass
Rapid Transit train doors stopped the trains from moving.
It happened a few times and those were a few times too many.
Canadians carrying loose change often find themselves in a spot of bother. In Canada, Currency Act of 1985 prohibits consumers from using unreasonable
amounts of coins to pay for purchases. This means you can't pay for an item in all coins (especially if it's over $10). Even the use of dollar-coins is limited.
The shop owner has the right to choose whether or not he wants to take your coins but doesn't have to.