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The Life You Were Meant to Live

Supplies:• Index cards• TV and VCR or DVD player• Movie It’s a Wonderful Life• Paper and pens/pencils for each student

Using Video clips:All of the teaching plans for A Life of Influence incorporate viewing video clips from recent movies.The followinginformation has been provided to inform you of laws regarding using video clips in group settings. Observe thecopyright law governing the use of film clips. Secure written permission to use the clip by contacting the produc-tion company that owns the film or by subscribing to a video licensing service (Motion Picture LicensingCorporation http://www.mplc.com/main.htm or Christian Video Licensing Inc. http://www.cvli.org).Through an annualsubscription, a video licensing service grants you access to use the films of several major production companies(though not all are included).The FBI warning at the beginning of most videos limits the viewing of most films forhome use only. (U.S. Copyright Office; http://www.loc.gov/copyright/).Take time to be legal. Remember, students arewatching your actions. If you do not demonstrate ethics, why should you expect anything more from students? Itmay take more time, but your character is more important than taking the easy route.

Option 1Enlist four to six volunteers before class and explain the activity. Group the volunteers in pairs, and instruct themto line up at a starting line. If the volunteer is a woman, she is the person holding the “wheelbarrow.” When thesignal is given to start, they “wheelbarrow” their partner across a finish line.When the race is over, call for thewhole group to explain the purpose of the race. Discuss briefly ways that this race could have had more purpose.

Option 2Before class write these “jobs” on index cards and distribute them to group members prior to the session.A callthe night before might make it more effective.1. Speak to everyone who comes into the room.2. Dust off each person’s shoes as they sit down.3. Stand against the wall and appear to hold it up.4.Write everyone’s names on the board as they come in.

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Leader Guide Chapter 1

© 2004 LifeWay Press®

5. Count each girl that comes in the room.6. Correct anyone’s bad grammar.7. Give everyone a tissue as they come in.

Allow this activity to go on for five minutes. Once the group settles down, call for them to discuss the purpose ofeach “job.” Ask: How did each purpose make you feel? Why did some jobs seem to have more pur-pose than others? Did any of these jobs have real, lasting purpose? Why or why not?

Movie: It’s a Wonderful LifeIn the Christmas classic It’s a Wonderful Life, George believes that his life has been worthless.Through anencounter with Clarence, an angel, he is given the rare opportunity to see life as if he had never been born. Itdoesn’t take him long to realize that his life really did count for something. He discovers that the insignificantthings he thought he had done had made life much better for those he loved and cared about.

Clip: George meets Clarence on the bridge.Clip: George is upset because people he cared for are having terrible lives and he wants to know what hap-

pened. Clarence explains that he had never been born to help them.

Ask: If you had the opportunity to see life as if you had never been born, what differences do youthink you would see?

TV classic:“This Is Your Life”In the 1950s and 60s there was a show on television called “This Is Your Life.” It was a cross between a talk showand a reality show.A celebrity was chosen to be the guest for the evening. Once he was introduced and seatedcomfortably on the couch, the host would begin to review the guest’s life.As he highlighted areas of the guest’slife, a voice would speak from off stage.This often brought sighs, gasps, tears, and yelps of glee from the guest asthey recognized a voice from their past.This would continue through several guests as the audience watchedsomeone’s past unfold before them.

Ask: Can you imagine what your reaction might be to some of the voices in your past? Think backon your life and mentally identify three or four individuals who might be voices from your past.What emotions might you have if they were suddenly brought before you?

Lead students to explore the lives of several individuals from the Bible who had a definite call on their lives.Write each of the following Scripture references and biblical characters on a slips of paper.

David—1 Samuel 16:6-13 Gideon—Judges 6:11-24Jonah—Jonah 1:1-2Paul—Acts 9:1-6Matthew—Matthew 9:9Peter, James, and John—Luke 5:1-11

Deeper Insights/Biblical Background

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Give each student a slip of paper and instruct them to read the passage, think about how each person knew hehad been called and appointed for service by God, and to note each one’s immediate response.Allow five minutesfor students to complete this task, then call for discussion.

Direct students to find the “Asking the Right Questions” section at the end of the chapter (pp. 14-15). Instructthem to read the 13 questions and to circle five or six that they can relate to at this time in their lives. Challengethem to spend a few minutes in prayer, asking God to help them answer these questions honestly. Provide paperfor students to write their thoughts and insights.

Close the meeting by asking for prayer requests and then praying. Encourage each person to read the next ses-sion before the discussion time. Encourage them to participate in the questions and answers as much as possible.

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Application

Deepening Your Intimacy with God

Supplies:• Slips of paper• Bag or bowl• TV and VCR• Movie The Truman Show• Paper and pens/pencils for each student

Option 1Direct group members to stand in a circle and join hands with the people next to them.As the leader, say nothingand observe what happens.Watch and note how long before they begin to drop hands. Let this happen naturally. Ifthey ask questions about how long or why they are doing this, say: Oh, I don’t know. It seemed like a goodthing to do. When everyone seems to be ready to stop, instruct them to sit down and reflect on what just hap-pened. Point out how long they held hands until someone dropped a hand.Ask: What is uncomfortable aboutholding hands? (in a group) How is this different than holding hands with a child or a boyfriend or girlfriend?

Option 2When everyone arrives, instruct them to stand up and greet each other.As they are doing this, keep time. Let thegreeting die down naturally and note the time.Ask: Is greeting people awkward or comfortable? Wouldyou rather someone else initiate it? Is it easier if you are given a specific opportunity where it isexpected, such as the welcoming time during church worship? Comment about the time they took togreet one another.Ask: Did anyone engage in real conversation? Was anyone left out? Does that seemlike a long time or too short? What does that say about the intimacy of the group?

Option 3Write these cultural greetings on slips of paper and place them in a bowl or bag.

1. Jewish—Kiss on the cheek.2.American—Firm handshake.3.Athlete—High five.4. Family reunion—Tweak on the cheek.5. Parent or grandparent—Big hug.6. Cool guy—No physical contact, just a head nod.7. Children—Giggles and a grab of the hand to go play.8. Middle-schoolers—Playful shove.9. Soul brother—Handshake.

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10. Oriental—Respectful bow11. Nobility—Low bow for men, curtsy for women

Call for volunteers to draw out a slip of paper one at a time. Instruct them to read the slip silently, then walk upto someone and greet them with the proper greeting.After everyone has had a turn or the slips are gone, discusswhich types of greetings displayed more intimacy than others.Ask: Which were more intimate and whatmade them seem so? Which appeared less intimate and why? Would any of these greetings makeyou feel uncomfortable?

Movie: The Truman ShowIn The Truman Show movie we see a man who lives his entire life believing that he has intimate relationships withhis family and community, only to find out that they are all actors paid to act like his most personal relationships.The irony of the situation is that millions of viewers have developed an emotional attachment (intimacy) to him asthey have watched his life being manipulated week after week for their own entertainment.The tragedy comeswhen Truman realizes what has been happening, and he leaves.At this point the public turns off their televisionsand resume life as if nothing has happened.

Clip: Truman realizes he has been “watched” all those years.Clip: Viewers realize it is over and begin turning off their TV sets.

Ask: Are we sometimes disillusioned with relationships of intimacy in our own lives? Do we casuallycarry on as if nothing has happened when those with whom we have had a relationship withchange, disappoint us, or even leave us?

Explain that we will look into the lives of four men who had a unique intimacy with God. Instruct students toread the passages and evaluate each one’s relationship with God.• Noah—Genesis 6:9-10,22; 7:5; 8:1,15-18,20• Abraham—Genesis 22:1-2,12,15-18• Moses—Exodus 3:1-15; 4:13-17; 19:3-6; 33:12-23• Jesus Christ—Mark 15:33-34; Luke 2:10-11; 3:22; 22:41-43; 23:46;

John 17:1-5,25-26

Ask: Do you think any of them had common barriers to intimacy? What did they have that youmost want?

Direct students to the “Common Barriers to Intimacy” and “Squeeze Your Own Juice” sections of the chapter (p. 18). Read aloud the “Promise, Command, and Fruit” verses from the “Common Barriers to Intimacy” section.Recap each one briefly for understanding. Direct students to read silently the “Squeeze Your Own Juice” versesand questions.Allow time for students to answer the questions thoughtfully. Spend a few minutes sharing answersand insights from the Scriptures.


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State: True intimacy often begins with an honest assessment of our feelings and beliefs about theindividual with whom we are trying to become more intimate.A quick evaluation sometimespoints the proverbial finger back toward ourselves. Our relationship to God the Father should beour top priority in the search for true intimacy. Direct students to page 25 of this chapter and find the“Assess Yourself” survey. Instruct them to turn the chairs facing outside the circle to create a sense of privacy andto read each question silently and honestly answer with never, sometimes, or often. Say: As tempting as it maybe to fudge on an answer, remember that this is a big step toward developing intimacy with God.Conclude the survey by assessing your score and determining in your heart to do whatever it takesto build a more intimate relationship with God. Because this is a private issue, refrain from furtherdiscussion of the questions in the survey.

Close the meeting by asking for prayer requests and then praying. Encourage each person to have read the next ses-sion before the discussion time. Encourage them to participate in the questions and answers as much as possible.

Closure

Application

Who Do You Think You Are:Supplies:

• Small, soft ball, yarn, or toilet paper roll• Strips of paper• TV and VCR• Movie Catch Me If You Can• Paper and pens/pencils for each student

Option 1This works especially well in groups with new members or members who still don’t know each other’s namesvery well. Bring a small, soft ball (tennis, Nerf® ball, yarn, toilet paper roll) to the session. Instruct everyone tostand in a circle, putting some room between each person. Stand in the middle, or call for a volunteer to stand inthe middle, and toss the ball to someone while saying their name.They must say the person’s name to their rightcorrectly as they toss the ball back to the center or they move to the middle and repeat the process. Keep play-ing until almost everyone is familiar with each other’s names. Sit on the floor in the circle and discuss the impor-tance of people knowing your name.

Option 2Say: Consider these situations and imagine what the problems could be if they really happened.• All six children in the family are named Jamie.• Everyone in your college English class has the last name Walters.• Your parents named you Hitler or Benedict.• You have a number instead of a name.

Ask: What consequences can a name have for a person? Is a name really that important? How doesa person’s name have anything to do with who they become?

Option 3Play a few rounds of charades. Distribute paper strips to each student, and instruct them to write the name of awell-known person or character. Fold up the strips and place them in a paper bag. Call for a volunteer to select aname from the bag and act out the character while the group tries to guess the person’s identity. Begin by usinggestures only (no words). If the group is stumped, allow the performer to say one sentence about the person orrecite a quote made famous by the individual.Whoever guesses correctly performs next or calls on someone totake their place. Do this for five to ten minutes or until everyone has an opportunity to “charade.”

Ask: How were you able to identify the characters? Why was it difficult to identify some more thanothers? What might someone say or do to “charade” your character? Would you be easy to iden-tify? Why or why not?

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Movie: Catch Me If You CanLeonardo Di Caprio plays the part of Frank Abagnale, the ultimate con artist in Catch Me If You Can. This is a truestory about a young man who creates a job in which he really doesn’t have to “work.” Sounds like a pretty nicedeal, doesn’t it? He spends so much time devising ways to avoid work that he is constantly on the run from thelaw. He never relaxes and is always looking over his shoulder.What kind of life could that be? He becomes an air-plane pilot, a doctor, and a lawyer. He evades the FBI for several years and at one point they have him in custodyand he manages to escape, all of this only to create yet another identity for himself. Once he is finally appre-hended and sent to prison for several years, he develops a relationship with one of the FBI agents.They come toFrank and ask him to use his “skills” to catch other frauds in exchange for a reduced sentence.As time passes hebecomes the citizen the agent expects him to become. Jack learns who he really is and fulfills a purpose in lifethat benefits others.What a great ending!

Clip: The scene on the airplane when Frank is first caught. He and the FBI agent are talking about his life.

Ask: Have you created identities for yourself that you have trouble keeping straight? Are you havingto look over your shoulder to see which lie you need to be living? Why do we sometimes feel theneed to be someone else?

TV series:“Smallville”This weekly series depicts life for Clark Kent, Superman, as a teenager growing up and not knowing much abouthis identity. Of course, there are the “bad guys” who are also after the secrets of his identity. Clark is frequentlyreminded of the missing parts of his past when things come into his life that he can’t explain: incredible speed, x-ray vision, eyes able to burn through mass, inhuman strength, and a weakness to Kryptonite.A few people knowhis secret—they know about some parts of his life and some just suspect something is weird about him. In oneepisode Clark actually remembers the last moments he had with his real parents and develops a part of his iden-tity that was missing.

Ask: In what ways do you relate to Clark Kent? Are there parts of your identity you can’t quite fig-ure out? Do some people think you are a bit strange at times? Does your identity hinge on relation-ships?

Say: Sometimes we don’t realize that Bible heroes and heroines had trouble with their identities.Take a look at a few of the insecure people in the Bible.As you read the passages make a mentalnote about their insecurity and how God used it.• Abram—Genesis 12:10-20• Hannah—1 Samuel 1:5-20• Saul—1 Samuel 19:1-18• Esther—Esther 2:10-18; 4:11-16• Samson—Judges 13:24-25; 14:15-17,19-20; 16:4-22• Paul—2 Corinthians 12:3-10

Say: Each had a lack of identity due to what they felt was insufficient in their lives.What are youinsecure about and how can God use that for His glory?


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Read aloud the quote by Nelson Mandela at the end of the chapter under “Bringing It All Home” (p. 35). Lead thegroup through the following activity.

1. Instruct them to close their eyes and to put aside all fears and thoughts of inadequacy.2. Pretend that you have the ability to be anywhere and do anything.3. Choose one thing you would do to make a change in the world.4. Really let the dream go and play out the scenario. Imagine yourself arriving at your destination with all the

resources you need to carry out your quest.As you settle in, everything goes as planned.The weather is great,the people respond positively to you ,and you are in your element.As you dwell on these thoughts, imagine thechange you want to make actually taking place before your very eyes.Are you enjoying your dream?

5. Slowly come back to reality.6. Is the possibility of this becoming a reality such a weight that you choose not to bear it? Give those who

answer time to share some history based on their answer.7. Begin praying and asking God to help you to live out the purpose for which you were created.


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Application

Exercising Spiritual DisciplinesSupplies:

• Jenga® game• TV and VCR or DVD player• Movies Remember the Titans and Karate Kid• Paper and pens/pencils for each student

Option 1 Bring a Jenga® game and play until the tower falls.After it falls, sit back and discuss the reasons it fell.Ask: Was ittoo tall to support itself? Where there too many holes in the tower? Did the last participantremove the tile too quickly? What could you do to get better at playing this game? What disciplinescould you develop to be an expert Jenga® player?

Option 2Bible Stand Off. This activity may bring back memories of Bible Drill for some students.Assure them that it isn’tthe same thing and to relax and have fun with it. Direct students to choose partners. If it is a large group, useabout half of the students.The other half can cheer and applaud the participants.Tell them to line up facing eachother with a few feet between them, with their Bibles in their hands. Call out a book of the Bible and say start orblow a whistle to signal the start.The first one of the pair to find the book yells, “Got it!” Continue this with fiveto ten books and if they seem up to the challenge, throw in a few verses.Ask: What did you discover aboutyour familiarity with the Bible? Was this a good measure of Bible knowledge? Why or why not?

Option 3Begin the session by instructing students to read the verses on page 36 from their Bibles.Tell them to keep look-ing up and reading the verses regardless of what happens next.As they begin, turn on four or five radios or CDplayers playing something different and rather loud.After a few minutes (or when they can’t stand it anymore),stop the music.Ask: Why was it hard to concentrate? How did the chaos make them feel? Does lifeever seem to be this chaotic? How do they handle the many things that keep them from spendinguninterrupted time with God?

Movie: Remember the TitansAs the football season approaches for an Alexandria,Virginia, high school, the new coach finds himself in a difficultsituation. He is faced with the problem of pulling a team of players together who do not want to be playingtogether. On top of this, about half of the team would rather not be playing for him either. He loads the team ona bus and hauls them off to football camp. Once there, they are separated from their former teammates andforced to spend time with players who play the same positions.This places most of the players way out of their

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comfort zones. In fact, several find themselves in almost intolerable situations.They are separated by prejudicesand selfishness, and lack the discipline to overcome both.The team shows up for practice, but argue, put eachother down, fail to cooperate with one another, and don’t give their best. Coach Boone tells them that until theyget to know a teammate of a different race, they would practice three times a day instead of their normal twotimes a day. It was amazing how quickly they began to discipline themselves and play as a team. It didn’t happen inthe next practice or the next, but the Titans became a team that was well disciplined and eventually won the statechampionship.

Clip: Camp practice where Coach Boone lays out the ultimatum.Clip: The gym scene where they being to come together as a team and sing.

Say: Discipline can oftentimes be very painful and usually puts us out of our comfort zones.The out-come of the discipline is to make us stronger and better prepared to serve our Lord.We should bestriving to become champions of the Christian faith.

Movie: Karate Kid: Wax On Wax OffRemember the first Karate Kid movie in 1984? Well, as an adult leader, maybe you saw the video.After beingthreatened by bullies, Daniel decides it would benefit him to learn martial arts. He shows up at the karate mas-ter’s house for lessons and is given an odd assortment of jobs to complete. Each of these jobs seem like a wasteof time to Daniel. He believes they are just a way for Mr. Miagi to get work out of him. He has him painting afence and waxing his car. Daniel finally becomes fed up and confronts Mr. Miagi. He demands to know why he isnot teaching him karate and has him doing these meaningless tasks. Mr. Miagi then shows him the basic karatestrokes he was training himself to do as he performed the “meaningless” tasks.

Clip: Mr. Miagi explains to Daniel how to “Wax on, wax off.” Clip: Daniel confronting Mr. Miagi about the chores.

Explain that discipline comes in many forms, sometimes expected and sometimes unexpected. Sometimes it issomewhat painless and other times we wonder how we will endure it. It is essential that we continue to be disci-plined in our walk with God, even when we don’t understand what He is trying to teach us.

Write the following Scripture references on the board or a large sheet of paper: Jonah 1:1-17; Luke 1:11-20;Matthew 19:16-22. Explain that a few godly men decided that arguing with God’s decision was alright. Direct stu-dents to read the passages and evaluate what the decisions of the key characters (Jonah, Zechariah, and the richyoung ruler) in the stories cost them. Lead students to share their evaluations.

Application

Direct students to respond to the “Spiritual Disciplines” list on page 46. Direct them to choose five that comeeasily or that they are already doing consistently. Challenge them to pray and commit these to the Lord thisweek. Lead in a quiet time of prayer, asking God to reveal two other disciplines that He wants to develop in yourlives. Direct students to reflect on the disciplines for a few minutes and envision what they will require of in timeand relationships. Say: If you are willing to commit yourself to developing these disciplines, pray onceagain and commit these also to the Lord. Find a friend who will pray for you and share this com-mitment with them. During the week try journaling your journey into these new disciplines.This

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will provide you with encouragement when you need it the most.


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Playing to Your StrengthSupplies:

• Recorders and/or kazoos• CD player and CDs• Sports balls• Paper and markers• TV and VCR or DVD player• Movie Mr. Holland’s Opus• Movie My Left Foot

Option 1Arrange your group into teams of four or five. If you only have six, they can form one team. If you have seven,form two teams. Each team’s assignment is to teach everyone else how to do something simple (tie a shoe lace,tie a tie, start a car, change a tire, braid hair, mix up brownies, plant a garden, etc.).The only rule is that they can-not talk to each other or anyone else in the room.They can sing, hum, write, draw, pantomime, or anything elsethey can think of except verbally talk.Allow about five minutes to devise a plan, then see what they came up with.As the groups perform, the rest of the group should be guessing what they are doing.

Conclude this time by evaluating each team’s plan.Ask: Did they choose a method that they were comfort-able with? Did a particular person take charge? Was the strength of the group evident? Were theyable to communicate what they intended?

Option 2Before students arrive, set up four areas with these items: pen and paper; recorders, kazoos, or CD player andCDs; white paper and markers, sports balls. Keep this simple. Instruct students to find an area and “play” for a fewminutes.As the leader, mentally take notes as they make their selections.Were you able to guess where certainstudents would go? Did any students have trouble making a choice? Was it that they couldn’t decide or felt theydidn’t fit in any of the groups?

After 5-10 minutes of this “play time” lead a discussion about the choices they made.Ask: Why did you choosecertain activities over others? Were you surprised by any of the choices other students made? Why?What other activity would you have chosen if it had been available? Did you find yourself in or outof your comfort zone?

Movie: Mr. Holland’s OpusThis is a remarkable story about a man who dreams of writing a great orchestral piece. He is a talented musician

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and composer, but due to life circumstances he spends his years teaching band in a high school.Throughout thestory Mr. Holland comes back to his plans for writing his opus and actually makes some headway with it. Hepours his heart into teaching students music because he is passionate about music. He tries to instruct studentsto understand that playing music is supposed to be fun. It’s about heart, it’s about feelings, moving people, andsomething beautiful, and it’s not about notes on a page. He comments in the movie that he can teach them noteson a page. He can’t teach them that other stuff. Mr. Holland realizes how music can make a difference in students’lives. But he wants to write an opus. He believes this is his purpose in life. Many years later he comes to the endof his teaching career at this high school.Although the movie concludes with an emotional scene in which hisband students play his unfinished opus, he realizes that his strengths were in teaching the students and instillinghis passion for music in them.

Clip: Mr. Holland he plays rock and roll to interest students.Clip: The ending where the band plays his opus.

Ask: What are your plans? What are your strengths? What is your passion?

Movie: My Left FootChristy Brown would have to win the first place award for playing to one’s strengths. He was one of 23 childrenborn into a poor Irish family. Christy was born with cerebral palsy, and it was assumed that he had very limitedintelligence. His case was so severe that he had no communication skills and very little controlled movement.However, Christy found that he could control his left foot and began to write slowly at first, then gradually hewrote poems and became a successful painter. In no way did the cerebral palsy improve. Christy just learned toplay to his strengths.

Clip: His mother realizes that Christy is trying to communicate with her.

Ask: How much whining do we do about our inadequacies? Do we have strengths that are hidden orthat we are ignoring? Is it possible that God just might be able to use what we consider a weaknessas one of our greatest strengths?

Say: God has given us many examples of people who lived out of their comfort zones to follow Hisdirection. Direct students to read these scenarios and determine how far each person got out of their comfortzone.Ask: Would you be willing to do the same?• Queen Esther—Esther 4:15-16; 5:1-8• Joseph and Potiphar’s wife—Genesis 39:1-19• Daniel in the lions’ den—Daniel 6:6-23• The three Israelite boys—Daniel 3:4-7,12-27• Elijah—1 Kings 18:15-39• Adam and Eve in the garden after sinning—Genesis 3:8-13• Mary—Luke 1:26-35

Review the “What Makes Up a Strength” section of this chapter (pp. 47-48). Instruct students to list in the marginof the book their natural talents. Say: Don’t be modest. Look at the second one and write the subjects

Application


that you feel most knowledgeable about. Read the Scriptures listed in number 3: Spiritual Gifts. Direct stu-dents to list one or two of the spiritual gifts that they think they might possess. Challenge them to think aboutany acquired skills they might have. Say: Think creatively about this one.You may be able to do some-thing that seems silly or useless, and it may be just the thing God is looking for right now.Therewas once a man who performed yo-yo tricks and witnessed while he did them. Don’t discount any-thing.Take a long look at your list and spend time this week searching for God’s purpose in prepar-ing you with these gifts and abilities. Don’t forget to thank Him for making you uniquely you!Celebrate your “weirdness.”


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The Heart of a ServantSupplies:

• Washcloths and basin or baby wipes• TV and VCR or DVD player• Movie It Could Happen to You

Option 1Prior to the session, send a postcard to each student with the following message:

Practice some servanthood by doing some of these activities this week:• If your church has a meal before the time your group meets, come in to clean up the kitchen and dining area.• Clean the church rest rooms this week.• Clean up any litter around the outside of the church building.• Vacuum or mop the floors in your your neighbors dorm room or apartment.

Begin the session by calling on volunteers to share their serving experiences.

Option 2Be bold, be humble.Wash each others feet. Provide basins and wash clothes or supply students with baby wipes.Go about this one of these ways:• Enlist a few volunteers before class to be the servants for the group and wash students’ feet for those who

agree.• If you know your students well enough to get them all to participate, pair them up and provide the cloth’s

or wipes.• Model servanthood by you (the leader) washing students’ feet (or one student as an example).

If this is a bit extreme for your group, modify the activity to washing faces, hands, or shoes.Ask: How did itmake you feel to serve someone? What about to be served? How did the climate of the groupchange as the washing progressed? Call on volunteers to share any servanthood experiences they may havehad that were particularly humbling.

Movie: It Could Happen to YouThis is a movie about a situation everyone wishes for—winning a lot of money! Nicolas Cage plays Charlie, a sim-ple street cop in New York City who encounters a waitress,Yvonne, at the local diner.When he realizes he hasn’tenough money to tip her, he agrees to share his lottery ticket with her if he wins. Surprise, surprise. He wins fourmillion dollars and splits it with her.The unique thing about this situation is that they use the money to do thingsfor people in the community.They take kids to Yankee Stadium and pay subway fares for total strangers.They get a

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big kick out of giving the money away to others.

Clip: Feeding the homeless man in the dinerClip: The subway scene where they are paying for the fares.

Explain that it is a lot easier to be generous when you have more than enough to be generous with.The twist tothis tale is that when they realized they are going to lose the money due to a selfish spouse, they still continue tohelp others.Their generosity is not based just on wealth or the promise of wealth.

Ask: What would you do with a million dollars? What could you do with a million dollars whichwould glorify Christ?

Instruct students to examine some biblical servants by reading the following Scriptures:• Martha—Luke 10:38-42• Widow and Elijah—1 Kings 17:7-16• Samuel in the temple—1 Samuel 3:1-21• Jesus—John 13:1-5

Ask: Were they doing anything that we aren’t capable of doing? Identify who they were serving andhow they were doing it.What was their motivation?

Take another look at the “Seven Ways to Influence People” on page 58. Instruct students to complete the evalua-tions for each method of influence if they haven’t already. Point out that this lesson focused on methods we mightuse to influence others.Ask: But how are we being influenced? Lead students to look again at the sevenmethods and think how they are being influenced and by whom. Ask: Are you uncomfortable being influ-enced in some of these ways? Why or why not? Are you involved in activities that are keeping youfrom doing what God has planned for you, because you were influenced by someone—probably awell-meaning someone? Guide students to evaluate their reasons and purposes for the activities that taketheir time. Challenge them to decide to discontinue any activity that may be on their plates due to someone’sinfluence other than God’s.


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Application


Building Healthy EmotionsSupplies:

• Several decks of playing cards (Go Fish or Old Maid cards will do)• Tape• Self-adhesive name tags, markers• TV and VCR or DVD player• Movie The Count of Monte Cristo• Index cards

Option 1Group students into three or four teams. Provide each team with a deck of playing cards (Go Fish or Old Maidcards will do). Instruct teams to stack the cards as high as they can without tumbling the cards.The cards have tostand on their sides, not flat on top of each other, like building a house of cards. Encourage competition andcheering.After a few minutes of trial and error, give each team a roll of tape to use in the project.

Ask: What made the difference with the tape? What problems did it solve? Why?

Option 2Write students’ names on name stickers as they come in. Once they all arrive, apply a sticker to each one’s backwithout telling them whose name they have.Tell them to mingle around and see who has other students’ nameswithout telling the person who it is.Talk to the person as if they are the person with the name on the sticker.Tryto get around to as many different people as possible.

Ask: Did not knowing your “identity” make you feel insecure? What did people say to you thatmade you feel insecure? Was it easy for you to guess whose name was on your back? Did knowingthat person make it easier for you to guess? What if you didn’t know the person very well?

Variation: Same activity only choose five students and put famous people’s names on their backs. Instruct therest of the class to talk to them as if they were the famous person while they try to guess who they are.

Movie: The Count of Monte CristoThe movie The Count of Monte Cristo illustrates each of the six behavioral insecurities discussed in this chapter.This would be a good movie to show to your group as “extra time to be together” in a learning situation.Edmond Dantes is betrayed by his best friend, Farnand, and sent away to an island prison.While in prison hemeets a priest who admonishes him to leave revenge to God. He also teaches him to sword fight and educateshim.The day comes when Edmond is granted the opportunity to escape the prison due to the death of the priest.

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Once free, he begins his quest for revenge. He compares his years of lost life in prison to his betrayers successfullife of freedom, which includes marriage to Edmond’s fiance. He seeks compensation for his lost years throughwealth provided by the priest by way of a buried treasure. His excessive wealth allows him to compete with hisenemies for the affections of his family and trust of business associates. Edmond’s compulsion for revenge over-takes him. He disregards the priest’s advice and makes every attempt to destroy Farnand. He confronts the manand condemns him for betraying him and taking his fiance as his wife. In the heat of the fight Edmond makes a dis-covery that changes everything. He now has control of the situation; he now has the upper hand.All of Edmond’sinsecurities are played out throughout this story.

Emotions are exhibited throughout the Bible, some positive and some negative. Instruct students to notice theemotions in the following Scripture passages.• Simeon—Luke 2:22-32• Jesus at Lazarus’s tomb—John 11:14-44• Women at Jesus’ tomb—Mark 16:1-8• Thieves on the cross—Luke 23:39-43• Mother of James and John—Matthew 20:20-21• Joseph and the angel—Matthew 1:18-21• Paul and Silas in prison—Acts 16:22-25• Moses killing the Egyptian—Exodus 2:11-14• Cain—Genesis 4:1-8

Ask: Which persons in these passages demonstrated positive, healthy emotions?

Read the “Truths to Live By” on page 76. Lead students in a time of silent prayer, asking God to reveal any ofthese truths that particularly apply to the students at this time in their lives.Teach students how to pray throughthese truths and make them personal. Instruct students to write these truths on an index card to keep as areminder through the week.

Examples:• Help me to take control of my spiritual health and not leave it to someone else.• Show me the truth so I can experience spiritual and emotional health.• Identify the lies I’m believing so I can live a secure and happy life.• Make me aware of the things I’m believing that are untruths.• Make the lies in my life visible and less thrilling. Let me see the truth.• Give me the tools I need to balance the hardships of my life (be specific).• Make me aware if I am hurting or intimidating someone because of my insecurities.• Give me possession of thoughts and emotions that are worth passing on to others.


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Application


The Power of PassionSupplies:

• Slips of paper• TV and VCR or DVD Player• Movie Rudy• Movie Lord of the Rings• Index Cards

Option 1 Distribute several small slips of paper to each student as they join the group.Ask them to write things that peo-ple are passionate about or to name people who are considered to have great passion about something.Encourage them to think about other cultures, age groups, or events.After a few minutes, spread the notes on thefloor and group them into categories.They can choose the categories they want to use. Lead them to discuss thedifferent areas in which people are passionate.

Ask: Are people ever passionate about bad things? What people in history who were known fortheir passions.What were they able to accomplish?

Option 2Arrange the group into several smaller teams.Tell them to agree on one thing about which they can be passion-ate, whether a serious issue or something humorous. Instruct them to create a chant or cheer about their objectof passion, and to perform it for the rest of the students.

Ask: Which issues could you find yourself supporting? Were the chants and cheers convincing? Whyor why not? Is it easy to get excited about someone else’s passion? Why or why not?

Movie: Rudy

Clip: The players come to Coach Devine’s office and persuade him to let Rudy play in the last game.Clip: Rudy goes to the locker room for the first time as a player.

Rudy was a young man passionate about Notre Dame football. He went to great lengths and showed incrediblepersistence to become enrolled at the university.All he wanted was to play football for Notre Dame. Rudy hadtons of heart, but he was a little guy. He hung around the stadium, got a job working around the team, went tothe games, and worked hard in school to be able to stay enrolled. His consistence finally paid off and he was given

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a spot on the team. He was basically used for the bigger guys to practice on for the real games. Rudy didn’tmind—he was playing for Notre Dame. His passion was so evident that his teammates arranged for him to get toplay in the final game of his senior year. Rudy is a true example of someone who didn’t give up on his passionregardless of the odds.What is keeping you from pursuing your passion?

Movie: Lord of the RingsThis classic epic by J.R.R.Tolkien is drenched in passion.There is hardly a person in the movie who is not over-flowing with passion for their cause. Frodo wants only to return the ring. His friends want to be with him for thejourney and will do anything to protect Frodo. Gandalf, a wizard, is passionate about assisting Frodo on his jour-ney to destroy the ring. Gollum is obsessed with the ring itself and the power it holds.The evil beings are intenton having the ring back in their possession for its evil powers.The passion is so great that it takes almost ninehours to tell the whole story.Although this is a fictional tale of wildest proportions, it illustrates to what lengthsomeone can go to realize and achieve their passionate pursuits.

Ask: What are you willing to do to pursue your passions? Are you willing to go to faraway places,face the enemy, or the unknown?

Many characters in the Bible lived lives of passion. Instruct students to read about a few of them and determinetheir influence on the world around them.Arrange the group into three or four teams and assign each team aportion of the following Scripture passages. Instruct the teams to prepare to report on the passionate persons intheir passages.

• Joshua—Joshua 6:15-16,20-21,26-27• Caleb and the other explorers—Numbers 13:26-33; 14:6-9• David—1 Samuel 17:32,38-51• Saul (before the conversion)—Acts 9:1-2• Paul (after the conversion)—Acts 9:17-22• Peter—Mark 14:66-72• Herod—Matthew 2:1-8,13• Jewish leaders (chief priest and Pharisees)—John 18:2-9,12-14,19-24• King Saul—1 Samuel 19:1-15• Solomon—1 Kings 7:1-52 (Skim over this passage)• John the Baptist—Matthew 3:1-12

Ask: Did any of their passions change the world? Were their passions always good?

Refer students to “Living with Passion” (pp. 84-85). Lead students to read the eight statements aloud, inserting thewords “I will” before each one.Ask: Did you have a hard time saying some of them? Direct students to cir-cle two from the list that they are willing to put into practice this week in pursuit of their passion. Say: Rewritethese two on an index card and put it where you can see it frequently. Make this a reminder to con-sistently be on the path to discovering your passion. Share your choices with a friend or partnerand hold each other accountable this week. Encourage everyone in the group to pray for each other andtalk a few times during the week. Encourage them to discuss the journey for discovering the one thing God wants

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to do in your life to make a difference.

Close the meeting by asking for prayer request and then praying. Encourage each person to keep their copy of ALife of Influence. Encourage them to thumb through the sessions one additional time before the leave school. Prayfor them as they leave school to become leaders in their fields of influence.

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