the pendant
TRANSCRIPT
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
1/24
ThePendant
My soulmate, my best friend Leya passed away six months ago. She
had been my rock, the steadying influence in my life. I had shared a lot
of things with her which I never told anybody else. Oh how I missed
her. Every time I recalled our times together a feeling of sadness and
acute loss would pervade my whole being.
A day after the funeral, Dr. Hanis who has been treating her called me
to her office. When I came in she stood up and opened the top drawer
of her desk and took out a small red velvet box. That box looks
familiar; I thought to myself.
Please take a seat Zara, Dr. Hanis motioned me to the easy chair at
the corner of her office. She handed over the red velvet box to me.
Leya said youll know what to do with it she said. She asked me tokeep this when she was admitted, the doctor explained. Its a
necklace, the pendant is beautiful. She showed it to me when she took it
off and asked me to give it only to you, the doctor said.
1
http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0oGkj3AMcZJR_QA_s9XNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTB0M2I2a3FxBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA3NrMQR2dGlkA1IyMDRfMTIz/SIG=1miq1vvgf/EXP=1237812032/**http%3A/images.search.yahoo.com/images/view%3Fback=http%253A%252F%252Fsearch.yahoo.com%252Fsearch%253Fei%253DUTF-8%2526p%253Dpendant%252Bpicture%26w=898%26h=1386%26imgurl=www.jensen-jewelers.com%252Fcatalog%252Fimages%252FTheCaldron%252520Pendant.jpg%26size=141.2kB%26name=TheCaldron%2BPendant.jpg%26rcurl=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.jensen-jewelers.com%252Fcatalog%252Findex.php%253Faction%253Dbuy_now%2526products_id%253D704%26rurl=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.jensen-jewelers.com%252Fcatalog%252Findex.php%253Faction%253Dbuy_now%2526products_id%253D704%26p=pendant%26type=jpeg%26no=1%26tt=4%252C222%252C172%26oid=d761e5c061eb9586%26tit=TheCaldron%2BPendant.jpg%26sigr=12fa2pjdi%26sigi=11v3qk2vv%26sigb=11pkkvl9s -
8/7/2019 The Pendant
2/24
I took the box home and sat in front of my computer. I opened the box
and gazed at the necklace and the beautiful pendant. The pendant was
one half of a heart with a diamond attached at the tip of the middle part
of the half heart. My eyes misted over. I had asked Leya about the
pendant many times. She never took it off unless it was absolutely
necessary. She promised to talk to me about the necklace with the
pendant, Ill tell you the story behind this pendant when the time is
right, she said. I have been patiently waiting and wondering when the
right time will come.
She finally told me the story when we were in Bali for a long awaited
holiday. I didnt know why she decided to do so. When we went to Bali
it was six months after the tsunami. There were stark reminders of the
destruction caused by the tsunami. The tsunami that had claimed so
many victims within such a short time.
She was visibly moved when she saw the aftermath of the tsunami.
From the first day of our holiday she was in a pensive mood. Life is
transient Zara, Allah can call us to him anytime , she told me one
evening when we were having tea at the verandah of our hotel room. I
have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I have decided to tell you
the story behind this pendant while we are here in Bali, she said.
She fingered the pendant tenderly. Her eyes sparkled. She suddenly
became animated. That state surfaced everytime she talked about the
success of the many projects she has been asked to head in the space of
her career. She had always been passionate about the projects especially
2
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
3/24
those involving childrens development. To her children must be
handled with tender loving care as they had a part in the countrys
future. They were the sustainers of the nations well being and
progress. There were much that the adults needed to understand in order
to ensure any programmes involving the education and development of
children must really meet their actual needs and not those of the
sponsors or organisers. Leya tried her best to incorporate this aspect in
the projects she worked on.
Leya worked with an organisation which helps children in the rural
areas overcome disparity in their performance academically and
socially. Those children who would not be successful if left to their own
devises. She was a member of a task force specially assigned to do the
job. It was on that task force that she met Qamal. He was the team
leader, she was his assisstant. He was married with three chidren. She
was single more due to circumstances than choice.
Since their first meeting they had got on very well. They were able to
discuss anything related to the project amicably and with ease. It was as
if they had known one another forever. Something akin to the meeting
of soulmates. Even though this was so, Leya made sure that they did not
discuss things which were personal in nature. I made sure that we
only discuss matters related to the project, she told me.
This went on for the next two years. It was obvious to everyone on the
team that Qamal and Leya were getting closer but so was every one
else. At first she was not aware that Qamal was beginning to look at her
3
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
4/24
differently and showing extra care and concern until Edward, a close
friend of ours pointed it out one evening when they were at a BBQ
hosted by the head of their organisation.
It was an unexpected revelation, Zara, she said. I became anxious
and afraid, she went on. She had been very comfortable with Qamal.
They automatically or unconciously seeked each other out when going
for their meals or coffee break. To Leya they were buddies, bosom
friends. She believed that she could be friends with a man married or
otherwise with no strings attached and no romantic feelings involved.
Leya has repeatedly refused to entertain advances from men who were
married. Her feelings of empathy with her own kind and the principles
she uphold always superceeded her own feelings and needs to be loved
and to love. She has always reminded herself not to be the cause of the
breakup of a family. One of her friends whose husband married another
woman suffered an enormous emotional upheaval and was traumatized
by the incident. Her friend never fully recovered from that experience.
I saw her pain and suffering at first hand Zara, the children also
suffered, she muttered sadly. I could never do that to another woman,
4
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
5/24
not if I can help it, she said vehemently. Her father married three
wives. Her mother was the third wife. They had always been regarded
as the interloper, the intruder. It was hard to stomach when you were
growing up and trying to have a happy childhood. Her childhood was
difficult, but her mother tried her best to make her childhood a happy
one.
Why her mother became the third wife; she had always wanted to
know. However she had never dared venture into that territory. She was
waiting for her mother to tell her. The day never came, her mother died
when she was 18 years old and away in college in England. She was
saddened by the fact that she didnt have the money for the flight home
for the funeral.
It was a tragic death; she drowned in a boating accident. She was at a
leadership camp away from the city. When a post mortem was done, it
was also revealed that her appendics burst. Medical care could not be
given as there was no clinic or hospital nearby. It was meant to be. Her
time was up Zara, Leya said.
Leya had been one of my many friends who stayed true to and lived by
her principles. She had many admirers and also those who seriously
wanted more than friendship. However most of them were married. It
seems according to her most of the good men who were attracted to her
were taken.
5
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
6/24
Do you think that this is my destiny?, she asked. Maybe Leya , I
said. But why cant you just accept it as your destiny?, I countered.
She looked at me with such pain in her eyes that I regretted the question
the moment it escaped my lips. I felt choked.
She sat quietly for a long time fingering the pendant of her necklace.
Her eyes misted over and took on a faraway look. It was as if she was
replaying some scenes through her mind. I just sat patiently waiting for
her to continue.
Eventually she let out a long sigh. I dont really know, there were
times in the course of my life when I was thinking what you were
thinking, she muttered. Some times I really thought I could just forget
about the principles which has been ingrained in me , throw caution to
the wind and what the heck, just get on with my life, she said sounding
very exasperated. Maybe theres some truth that we do have some say
in determining our destiny, she muttered almost to herself. I had to
strain my ears to hear what she was saying.
She turned to look at me and said, Some how Zara I would not be able
to do it, you know , forget about my principles; my conscience will
gnaw at me and Ill be restless for days, she sighed. Leya almost
always would never allow the principles she lived by to overrule any
matters of her heart. Her head always ruled her heart. I know where
love is concerned we cannot use our head, she said. Both of us had
discussed this matter many times. This was because Im the exact
6
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
7/24
opposite of her, and in the course of searching for true love got hurt
over and over. Almost always Ill go running to her to be consoled.
If it is my destiny, Im sure I will not be able to escape from it, she
continued. Maybe the man who courted her were trying their luck and
were not persistent enough. They knew only too well that Leya would
not compromised her principles in any situation especially when it
involved a married man. They had been forewarned.
However, in the case of her friendship with Qamal, Leya seemed less
guarded. She was more spontaneous and free with her feelings and
expressions. It was as if she has broken from the cocoon of guardedness
and propriety into the free world of spontaniety and truthfulness. Leya
has always told me that when you are working with children especially
the young ones there was no pretence. If you were not your true self
they would let you know in no uncertain terms. Children will tell you
the truth whether you like it or not, Zara, she chuckled.
It must be the environment, working with children who were vulnerable
and so trusting, who put their little world in the palm of your hands that
undid Leya. She had always worked very well with children. On the
project she was working with Qamal, the children were different.
Almost all them came from unfortunate and underprivileged
background.
7
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
8/24
It was most humbling to see them having the time of their life when the
various subjects camp were conducted one weekend a month for ten
months of the year. I could describe them as pulsating with a genuine
sense of happiness and excitement Zara, she laughed. Oh you could
feel them vibrating with enthusiasm and exhiliration, she continued.
Everytime you are with them, you feel so excruciatingly aware of how
fortunate we have been and that most of our children are indeed lucky
not to be in their position Zara, she said. I could see how the project
had affected Leya. She had become more open and expressive. It was as
if she did not mind exposing her weaknesses and vulnerabilities. That
was a Leya whom I have not met before.
I was with Leya during one of the many camps related to their project..
She invited me to the one they did on English at a beach resort in
Sematan. I was supposed to facilitate and observe the childrens
performance from the perspective and eyes of an outsider. My real role
was actually to observe how she behaved around Qamal and vice versa.
But hey, I did come up with a report on my observation of the children.
After what Edward had told her about his observation of Qamals
behaviour around her, Leya wanted me to give my perspective on the
matter. :You know me very well Zara, she said when she made the
request when we were having dinner at her place one night. I would
like you to be brutally honest with me, just tell me what you saw
without mincing your words, she said. Wow, that was a daunting task.
And even though Ive been well known for calling a spade a spade, I
8
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
9/24
had to say that I was quite apprehensive about the whole thing. I was at
the camp for three days and two nights.
I went about my work as unobstrusively as possible. As a member of
the team of fascilitators I stayed in the same block and move around
with them. Leya made me promised that I should behaved exactly as the
other fascilitators and I should only talked to her about my observation
when we were back in town after the camp had finished. She on her
part would behaved as normal as possible.
The one thing that caught my attention instantly was Leyas demeanour
when she was around the children. She mixed and moved around them
with gay abandon the likes of which I had not seen before. There were a
lot of spontaneous behaviour. The gaiety and cheerfulness rubbed off
on the others around her. She was animated and really looked as if she
was thoroughly enjoying herself. All in all very captivating. Leya in her
unguarded moment.
When Leya introduced the members of the project team, Qamal was the
last one she mentioned. It was obvious to me; my perception was; save
the best for last! According to her she introduced Qamal last because he
was the head of the project team. Whatever Leya, I thought to myself.
9
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
10/24
Qamal at forty eight years was a well preserved and distinguished
looking man. He has a kind face and very gentle eyes. He was charming
too. The children and the other members of the project team got on very
well with him. He was approachable, kind but firm and he was able to
suit his organising styles with the situations that demanded different
approaches. The team members whom I spoke to has nothing but kind
words for him. The children too spoke enthusiastically about him.
One thing which was obvious was no one seemed to be aware of the
undercurrents between Leya and Qamal. This was due to the fact that
every one in the team were very close. They were very open and
communicated easily with one another. Teasing one another was quite
normal.When you observed them you could see that they were very
comfortable in one anothers company. This augered well for the
relationship between Qamal and Leya to flourish without anyone
becoming conscious that the level of their friendship had gone on to a
higher plane.
It took another person who was outside the team to see the real state of
the relationship. Edward must have been awestruck by the closeness
displayed. What Edward saw was more than just a friendship between a
man and a woman. There were deep feelings involved. It was especially
obvious where Qamal was concerned.
From my observation and stealthy activities Leya seemed more natural
and not overtly expressive about her feelings for Qamal. What was
obvious to me was she treated him the same as she did the others. I
10
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
11/24
have known Leya since we met at the age of twelve. She was not the
type who let the world see how she felt. This was characteristics of
people who had to fight for their happiness and a way of shielding
themselves from getting hurt. A kind of defence mechanism.
Leya had always been better at writing than talking about her feelings.
In a group Leya was the attentive and active listener. The one who has
never suffered from verbal diarrhea. The one who practiced the
economy of words. The one you seek out when you need someone to
listen.When she spoke sometimes she might hurt your feelings because
she always said what she believed was the truth. The one redeeming
traits which helped her in awkward situations was her quick apologies
when she became aware that she had hurt your feelings. The only
problem was some people were not as forgiving.
During the camp Leya and Qamal were constantly in each others
company. It was part of the job. The project they were working on was
also a research project financed by a local foundation. They had to
record data and analysed them and also discussed qualitative statements
to describe the childrens performance. The work required them to be
constantly together. I found out that they were very often left to work
undisturbed by the rest of the other team members.
Based on my observation it was quite obvious that Qamal was in love
with Leya. You could see it in the way he looked at her and the concern
he showed for her well being. Leya on the other hand was not very open
about her feelings for Qamal. When they were alone Leya was more
11
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
12/24
careful in the way she treated him. She was friendly but she was careful
not to look him too long in the eyes and made sure that she kept a
comfortable distance from him so that there will be no misinterpretation
of the situation.
Leya did not have a big circle of friends. I was one of her confidante.
She has a few very close friends. Those were friends who accepted her,
warts and all. Leya believed that if you were really close friends there
should be no holds barred. You should be able to be truthful at most
times if not all times. This belief has got her in some awkward
situations with some of her friends. I remembered one particular
incident when it took Leya more than a month to repair the friendship.
Well that was the Leya I knew and loved.
Leya always said that she was not socially adept. You know Zara, its
an effort for me to have to socialize, she told me one night when we
were invited for a function involving some dignitaries. I could see what
she meant, she found it difficult to make small talks. Leya however
performed very well in functions where she was required to interact
professionally. In those situations she was in her elements. Her
command of the programmes and projects she worked on made those
who listened respect and valued her for her contributions.
At the end of the camp Leya took me out for a dinner treat. During the
dinner she asked me about my observation of what had happened in the
camp with regards to her relationship with Qamal. I told her truthfully
what had caught my attention. I was brutally honest. You are in love
12
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
13/24
with Qamal, you must be honest with me Leya, you are, arent you?, I
confronted her.
She looked at me with such anguish in her eyes that my eyes started
smarting. Oh Leya, no, I exclaimed. Tears started rolling down her
cheeks. I am scared Zara, she mumbled. I dont know whats
happening to me, I just cant seem to control my heart anymore, she
said. You know how I feel about a relationship with a married man,
she continued. Do you think Qamal knows how I feel?, she asked.
I told her that he might; but he might not be sure as Leya never let on
about how she felt to anyone on the team. She talked about him only to
me. Where her colleagues were concerned none would be suspicious
unless they were being polite and respectful by not showing any inkling
on what was going on between the two of them.
13
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
14/24
Two months after the end of the camp Leya called me. Her voice was
full of excitement. She told me that the head of the foundation who
sponsored the research wanted Qamal and her to go to a convention on
Education of Children in the Rural Setting, in Bangkok,Thailand. They
had been working on the project for two years. Qamal and Leya
deserved the trip. After the convention they would be travelling to the
rural areas of Thailand to look at projects quite similar to what they had
been doing. They were also asked to see the impact of the programme
on the children and how they were helped to maximise their potentials.
They would be away for three weeks.
Leya was quite apprehensive about the trip. Alot can happen in three
weeks Zara, she said. She was worried that Qamal would use the
occasion to talk to her about his feelings. Zara what am I going to do if
this were to happen?, she asked. It was obvious to me that Leya was
begining to feel vulnerable. Based on our discussions with our married
friends on the relationships between men and women we concluded that
most of them got hitched when they were in their most vulnerable state.
I was quite sure that Leya would not be able to reject Qamal outright.
She had to maintain a cordial relationship as they had to work together
on the project for another year. Further more since both of them were
away from home they had to be careful about making one another feel
uncomfortable in each others company.
During the trip being in each others company would be inevitable as
they would be working closely together to present their convention
14
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
15/24
papers and to discuss their observations on the project they were going
to evaluate. But knowing Leya I knew that she would be able to handle
the situation. The outcome would be anyones guess. We did not
communicate much when she was away on the trip. They were
constantly on the move. Even though I was extremely curious to know
what was happening between them, I did not call. If Leya needed to talk
she would call.
I met Leya a month after she came back from the trip. We met for
dinner. As I was away on a course I could not meet her earlier. She
kind of looked sad that night. When I prodded her about what had
happened in Bangkok, she sighed and looked at me with dewy
eyes.Qamal spoke about how he felt towards me, Zara, she said. He
wanted me to take my time and consider how we want the friendship to
develop, she continued. What did you tell him ?, I asked.
Leya looked at me in a daze. She remained very quiet for a long time. I
let her be, to give her time to sort out her feelings and decide on what
she wanted me to know. She has every right to keep certain things
secret. We had always respected one anothers privacy. After a long
while she looked up and with a sigh told me that she did not tell Qamal
her true feelings. However, she told him that she needed time to sort out
what her true feelings were towards him.
While she was telling me about what had happened in Bangkok, I
noticed that she was all the time fingering the pendant she was wearing.
I had seen that piece of jewellery before. She must have bought it in
15
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
16/24
Bangkok I thought to myself. From then on I noticed that she always
wore it without fail. I wondered what was the story behind that
necklace.
It was only when we were in Bali that she told me about the necklace
and the pendant. While sipping the chamomile tea she paused and
unclasped the necklace and handed it to me. This is the necklace and
pendant that Qamal bought for me when we were in Bangkok, Zara,
she said. I didnt want to accept it at first, it was too expensive and I
was not comfortable receiving it from him, she continued. Its
beautiful. What prompted you to accept it eventually?, I asked.
Leya looked at me with her big sad eyes. When I told him I cannot
accept the gift, Qamal looked so crestfallen. I became flabbergasted
Zara, she exclaimed. Then his eyes misted over, and he became very
quiet. I didnt know what to do, she continued. Leya always did things
according to her impulse. Usually she would immediately regret her
action.
What did you do when you saw him like that?, I asked. I was so
impatiently curious to know. Ive never seen a man cry Zara except
those in my immediate family!. When I saw him cry I knew Ive hurt
his feelings. I apologised profusely, she explained. According to Leya,
she had to explain to him why she could not accept the necklace. She
perceived that by accepting it she was making a commitment for a
relationship that she was not sure of the direction it was going. Further
more she could not accept so expensive a gift.
16
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
17/24
Did he accept your reasons for refusing his gift?, I asked. Leya said
when Qamal regained his composure, he expressed his disappointment
of the fact that Leya did not give him the chance to explain about the
gift. He was sad that Leya rejected the gift before he could say
anything. That was typical of Leya I thought. In akward situations Leya
would normally react like that, saying things on impulse only to regret
it later.
The story behind the necklace and the pendant was actually quite
beautiful. Qamal bought two pendants of a heart split into two. Only
Leyas half has a diamond, sitting at the tip of the middle part of the
half heart. Qamals half has none. According to Qamal, the two halves
of the heart were symbolic of their relationship at that particular
moment. Each of them had feelings towards one another but not
flowing along the same course, more aptly described as being at a
confluence. Qamals feelings towards Leya was crystal clear but Leyas
feelings towards Qamal was not. The diamond at Leyas pendant
17
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
18/24
symbolizes the light , the sparkle that will illuminate the relationship
once the two halves became whole. Qamal wanted me to accept the
gift and take my time to examine my feelings towards him, Leya
explained.
Qamals marriage was an arranged one. It was what his late mother
wanted. He was married off to his mothers best friends only daughter.
Being a filial son Qamal did not object as he did not want to hurt his
mothers feelings and did any untowards harm to her weak heart.
Further more he was not in any relationship. His love for his wife was
more as the mother of his children than the true love of his life.
Before Qamal met Leya he did not feel deprived or cheated of his true
love. His wife had looked after all his needs very well indeed. In the
initial stage of the project Qamal had actually introduced his wife to
Leya and his wife liked Leya very much. She had even said that she
trusted Leya. I could understand Leyas dilemma where her relationship
with Qamal was concerned.
Qamal said he was willing to wait until Im very sure of my feelings
towards him Zara, Leya continued. He insisted that I should keep the
gift and not feel hurried to come to any decision. If I did not accept it he
would understand, Leya explained. I could understand Leyas
predicament. Leya said she could not do that to Qamal as he had been
so good to her and had never behaved ungentlemanly at any time in the
course of their relationship.
18
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
19/24
Okay Leya, I think there is no harm in accepting it as you could treat it
like any ordinary gift sincerely given by a friend, I said. Yes, Zara but
Ive told him that if anything were to happen to me before I made the
final decision he must accept this necklace when it is returned to him,
Leya explained further. Whats going to happen to you? Are you
hiding something from me Leya?, I questioned. No Zara of course
not, she continued. Leya made me promised that Ill return the
necklace with the pendant to Qamal if such a situation warranted it. Of
course I promised.
I took the pendant from where I had put it and looked at it intently. It
was a beautiful piece of work. I called Qamal and told him that Ill be
meeting him at their favourite eating place. When Leya passed away
Qamal was away in New Zealand for a three days conference. He could
not attend the funeral. Leya was only at the hospital for two days before
she passed on.
Her death was quick and most unexpected. She was hospitalized for a
thorough check up of a growth in her brain after she fainted at work.
Leya had always suffered from migraine. She seemed to have them
more frequently after her trip to Bangkok. I had reminded her for the
umpteenth times to have a thorough checkup whenever she had one of
her worst migraine. When Leya had her worst migraine she had to have
the room darkened and she would be vomitting the whole day. That
situation would normally persist for two whole days. However, she
would brushed aside my concern and said that her migraine was
heriditary, that she got her migraine genes from her mother.
19
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
20/24
Leya died of a burst blood vessel in her brain that resulted in an
extensive internal haemorrhage. There was nothing the doctor could do.
It was something that could not be detected easily. She was 36 years
old. At the prime of her life.
Qamal asked me to go for dinner as he could not make it for lunch. I
arrived early, I wanted some time to choose the table as what I was
going to tell Qamal might cause a reaction that may embarrassed him.
The table I chose was at a secluded corner near the water feature of the
restaurant. It was not too quiet. It served my purpose well. Qamal was
punctual. He came with a box of chocolate for me. That was very nice
of him.
I have never been alone with Qamal before. The few times I met him, I
was always with Leya. However, because he was such an affable
character I did not feel awkward with him. He was like a big brother to
me. Qamal looked kind of sad and forlorn to me. You know the kind of
feeling you get sometimes, feeling so alone even though you were in a
crowd. I could sense it the moment he sat down. He must have felt
Leyas absence. We both did. For a while we just sat and sipped our
drinks. Each with memories of Leya all of our own, each remembering
the perfect moments we had with her.
Qamal, lets eat dinner before I get down to the purpose of my asking
you to meet me here, I began the conversation. Im really hungry, I
20
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
21/24
continued. Thats alright with me Zara, Im famished too, Ive not
eaten anything since lunch. I had an early lunch., Qamal answered.
We ordered coffee after we had finished dinner. It was only when I saw
Qamal looking quite relaxed that I took out the red velvet jewellery box
from my handbag. Qamal face took on an ashen look upon seeing the
box. He stared at me with a puzzled look. Zara what is this? Why is
this box with you?, he queried.
Qamal, this is from Leya, she made me promised that I will return this
necklace with its pendant to you. Leya said both of you had made a
pact. She did not elaborate. Do you remember what the pact is about?,
I asked. Qamal looked puzzled. I do not remember that we made such
a pact, he said. He was visibly disturbed. What I remembered telling
her was that the pendant would become whole once she accepted my
feelings for her, he continued. But Leya was very sure about this
Qamal, I reiterated. Please try and recall, I said.
Qamal showed me the necklace around his neck. He then unclasped the
chain and handed it to me. I looked at it intently. This is a half heart!,
I gasped. I took Leyas pendant from the box and put the two halves
side by side. There was a discreet clasp at the two ends of both halves, I
push the two halves together, heard two clicks and viola a whole heart!
Incredible. The diamond sat in the middle of the heart. Beautiful.
I looked at Qamal with amazement in my eyes, that was how I felt my
eyes must have looked like at that moment. Qamal looked at me with a
21
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
22/24
wistful expression that said it all. Do you understand now what I
meant when I said that the heart would become whole if Leya accept
my love for her?, he asked. Yes, I do now, I mumbled sadly. Both of
us looked at one another and our eyes misted over. We were both silent
for a long time just looking at the pendant.
When I looked up I could see that Qamal was really affected by it all. I
could see tears in his eyes. I remembered now Zara, it was Leya who
said that she would return this necklace and pendant if anything
happened to her before she made any decision about our relationship,
Qamal explained. I had to tell Qamal something that I hoped will make
him happy, if happy was the correct word to use for such a sad
situation.
I decided to tell Qamal what Leya told me a day before she died. My
hunch was the knowledge would ease a lttle bit the pain Qamal was
suffering from. Qamal, a day before Leya passed on she told me
something that I think you have the right to know, I began. Qamal
looked up with an expectant look on his face. She told me that she
loved you very much. She said she was going to tell you once you come
back from New Zealand, I said.
22
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
23/24
Qamal looked at me with such anguish in his eyes that I felt my heart
constricted. Unknowingly tears started rolling down my cheeks. I found
it difficult to continue. She also made me promised that I would return
this necklace with the pendant to you if anything happened to her
before you come back from New Zealand. It was uncanny. She seemed
to know the end was near, I concluded. I could not continue. I covered
my face with my hands and sobbed.
When I was able to contol myself, I looked at Qamal. Qamal was
crying. Oh my God I thought to myself, how am I going to console him.
I kept quiet and let Qamal try to control himself. After a while Qamal
looked at me ,Im sorry Zara, I just could not control myself, he said
in a quavering voice. Then he felt silent again. It was obvious that the
news affected him very much.
You know Qamal, I think I could understand now why Leya wanted
me to return this necklace and the pendant to you. She wanted you to
know that she felt whole when she finally acknowledged her true
feelings about you, I said. I could see that she was at peace and happy
when she finally accepted that fact. She was radiant that day, I
continued. Qamals lips trembled and he covered his face with his two
hands.
Please if you dont mind, I would like to be alone now Zara, Qamal
requested. Alright Qamal, I have told you about what had happened in
the final hours of Leyas life before she was tragically taken from us, I
23
-
8/7/2019 The Pendant
24/24
said. Please take your time and do call me if you need anything, I
reminded him.
As I took my leave I could hear him let out a long sigh and when I
looked back I could see that he was crying. How sad being left with a
love so beautiful but with a wrenching void in the depth of his heart.
Yes, it hurts and hurts bad, but you will get over it Qamal, trust me. I
have been there.
Rabiah Johari 09
24