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    ThePendant

    My soulmate, my best friend Leya passed away six months ago. She

    had been my rock, the steadying influence in my life. I had shared a lot

    of things with her which I never told anybody else. Oh how I missed

    her. Every time I recalled our times together a feeling of sadness and

    acute loss would pervade my whole being.

    A day after the funeral, Dr. Hanis who has been treating her called me

    to her office. When I came in she stood up and opened the top drawer

    of her desk and took out a small red velvet box. That box looks

    familiar; I thought to myself.

    Please take a seat Zara, Dr. Hanis motioned me to the easy chair at

    the corner of her office. She handed over the red velvet box to me.

    Leya said youll know what to do with it she said. She asked me tokeep this when she was admitted, the doctor explained. Its a

    necklace, the pendant is beautiful. She showed it to me when she took it

    off and asked me to give it only to you, the doctor said.

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    http://rds.yahoo.com/_ylt=A0oGkj3AMcZJR_QA_s9XNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTB0M2I2a3FxBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA3NrMQR2dGlkA1IyMDRfMTIz/SIG=1miq1vvgf/EXP=1237812032/**http%3A/images.search.yahoo.com/images/view%3Fback=http%253A%252F%252Fsearch.yahoo.com%252Fsearch%253Fei%253DUTF-8%2526p%253Dpendant%252Bpicture%26w=898%26h=1386%26imgurl=www.jensen-jewelers.com%252Fcatalog%252Fimages%252FTheCaldron%252520Pendant.jpg%26size=141.2kB%26name=TheCaldron%2BPendant.jpg%26rcurl=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.jensen-jewelers.com%252Fcatalog%252Findex.php%253Faction%253Dbuy_now%2526products_id%253D704%26rurl=http%253A%252F%252Fwww.jensen-jewelers.com%252Fcatalog%252Findex.php%253Faction%253Dbuy_now%2526products_id%253D704%26p=pendant%26type=jpeg%26no=1%26tt=4%252C222%252C172%26oid=d761e5c061eb9586%26tit=TheCaldron%2BPendant.jpg%26sigr=12fa2pjdi%26sigi=11v3qk2vv%26sigb=11pkkvl9s
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    I took the box home and sat in front of my computer. I opened the box

    and gazed at the necklace and the beautiful pendant. The pendant was

    one half of a heart with a diamond attached at the tip of the middle part

    of the half heart. My eyes misted over. I had asked Leya about the

    pendant many times. She never took it off unless it was absolutely

    necessary. She promised to talk to me about the necklace with the

    pendant, Ill tell you the story behind this pendant when the time is

    right, she said. I have been patiently waiting and wondering when the

    right time will come.

    She finally told me the story when we were in Bali for a long awaited

    holiday. I didnt know why she decided to do so. When we went to Bali

    it was six months after the tsunami. There were stark reminders of the

    destruction caused by the tsunami. The tsunami that had claimed so

    many victims within such a short time.

    She was visibly moved when she saw the aftermath of the tsunami.

    From the first day of our holiday she was in a pensive mood. Life is

    transient Zara, Allah can call us to him anytime , she told me one

    evening when we were having tea at the verandah of our hotel room. I

    have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I have decided to tell you

    the story behind this pendant while we are here in Bali, she said.

    She fingered the pendant tenderly. Her eyes sparkled. She suddenly

    became animated. That state surfaced everytime she talked about the

    success of the many projects she has been asked to head in the space of

    her career. She had always been passionate about the projects especially

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    those involving childrens development. To her children must be

    handled with tender loving care as they had a part in the countrys

    future. They were the sustainers of the nations well being and

    progress. There were much that the adults needed to understand in order

    to ensure any programmes involving the education and development of

    children must really meet their actual needs and not those of the

    sponsors or organisers. Leya tried her best to incorporate this aspect in

    the projects she worked on.

    Leya worked with an organisation which helps children in the rural

    areas overcome disparity in their performance academically and

    socially. Those children who would not be successful if left to their own

    devises. She was a member of a task force specially assigned to do the

    job. It was on that task force that she met Qamal. He was the team

    leader, she was his assisstant. He was married with three chidren. She

    was single more due to circumstances than choice.

    Since their first meeting they had got on very well. They were able to

    discuss anything related to the project amicably and with ease. It was as

    if they had known one another forever. Something akin to the meeting

    of soulmates. Even though this was so, Leya made sure that they did not

    discuss things which were personal in nature. I made sure that we

    only discuss matters related to the project, she told me.

    This went on for the next two years. It was obvious to everyone on the

    team that Qamal and Leya were getting closer but so was every one

    else. At first she was not aware that Qamal was beginning to look at her

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    differently and showing extra care and concern until Edward, a close

    friend of ours pointed it out one evening when they were at a BBQ

    hosted by the head of their organisation.

    It was an unexpected revelation, Zara, she said. I became anxious

    and afraid, she went on. She had been very comfortable with Qamal.

    They automatically or unconciously seeked each other out when going

    for their meals or coffee break. To Leya they were buddies, bosom

    friends. She believed that she could be friends with a man married or

    otherwise with no strings attached and no romantic feelings involved.

    Leya has repeatedly refused to entertain advances from men who were

    married. Her feelings of empathy with her own kind and the principles

    she uphold always superceeded her own feelings and needs to be loved

    and to love. She has always reminded herself not to be the cause of the

    breakup of a family. One of her friends whose husband married another

    woman suffered an enormous emotional upheaval and was traumatized

    by the incident. Her friend never fully recovered from that experience.

    I saw her pain and suffering at first hand Zara, the children also

    suffered, she muttered sadly. I could never do that to another woman,

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    not if I can help it, she said vehemently. Her father married three

    wives. Her mother was the third wife. They had always been regarded

    as the interloper, the intruder. It was hard to stomach when you were

    growing up and trying to have a happy childhood. Her childhood was

    difficult, but her mother tried her best to make her childhood a happy

    one.

    Why her mother became the third wife; she had always wanted to

    know. However she had never dared venture into that territory. She was

    waiting for her mother to tell her. The day never came, her mother died

    when she was 18 years old and away in college in England. She was

    saddened by the fact that she didnt have the money for the flight home

    for the funeral.

    It was a tragic death; she drowned in a boating accident. She was at a

    leadership camp away from the city. When a post mortem was done, it

    was also revealed that her appendics burst. Medical care could not be

    given as there was no clinic or hospital nearby. It was meant to be. Her

    time was up Zara, Leya said.

    Leya had been one of my many friends who stayed true to and lived by

    her principles. She had many admirers and also those who seriously

    wanted more than friendship. However most of them were married. It

    seems according to her most of the good men who were attracted to her

    were taken.

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    Do you think that this is my destiny?, she asked. Maybe Leya , I

    said. But why cant you just accept it as your destiny?, I countered.

    She looked at me with such pain in her eyes that I regretted the question

    the moment it escaped my lips. I felt choked.

    She sat quietly for a long time fingering the pendant of her necklace.

    Her eyes misted over and took on a faraway look. It was as if she was

    replaying some scenes through her mind. I just sat patiently waiting for

    her to continue.

    Eventually she let out a long sigh. I dont really know, there were

    times in the course of my life when I was thinking what you were

    thinking, she muttered. Some times I really thought I could just forget

    about the principles which has been ingrained in me , throw caution to

    the wind and what the heck, just get on with my life, she said sounding

    very exasperated. Maybe theres some truth that we do have some say

    in determining our destiny, she muttered almost to herself. I had to

    strain my ears to hear what she was saying.

    She turned to look at me and said, Some how Zara I would not be able

    to do it, you know , forget about my principles; my conscience will

    gnaw at me and Ill be restless for days, she sighed. Leya almost

    always would never allow the principles she lived by to overrule any

    matters of her heart. Her head always ruled her heart. I know where

    love is concerned we cannot use our head, she said. Both of us had

    discussed this matter many times. This was because Im the exact

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    opposite of her, and in the course of searching for true love got hurt

    over and over. Almost always Ill go running to her to be consoled.

    If it is my destiny, Im sure I will not be able to escape from it, she

    continued. Maybe the man who courted her were trying their luck and

    were not persistent enough. They knew only too well that Leya would

    not compromised her principles in any situation especially when it

    involved a married man. They had been forewarned.

    However, in the case of her friendship with Qamal, Leya seemed less

    guarded. She was more spontaneous and free with her feelings and

    expressions. It was as if she has broken from the cocoon of guardedness

    and propriety into the free world of spontaniety and truthfulness. Leya

    has always told me that when you are working with children especially

    the young ones there was no pretence. If you were not your true self

    they would let you know in no uncertain terms. Children will tell you

    the truth whether you like it or not, Zara, she chuckled.

    It must be the environment, working with children who were vulnerable

    and so trusting, who put their little world in the palm of your hands that

    undid Leya. She had always worked very well with children. On the

    project she was working with Qamal, the children were different.

    Almost all them came from unfortunate and underprivileged

    background.

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    It was most humbling to see them having the time of their life when the

    various subjects camp were conducted one weekend a month for ten

    months of the year. I could describe them as pulsating with a genuine

    sense of happiness and excitement Zara, she laughed. Oh you could

    feel them vibrating with enthusiasm and exhiliration, she continued.

    Everytime you are with them, you feel so excruciatingly aware of how

    fortunate we have been and that most of our children are indeed lucky

    not to be in their position Zara, she said. I could see how the project

    had affected Leya. She had become more open and expressive. It was as

    if she did not mind exposing her weaknesses and vulnerabilities. That

    was a Leya whom I have not met before.

    I was with Leya during one of the many camps related to their project..

    She invited me to the one they did on English at a beach resort in

    Sematan. I was supposed to facilitate and observe the childrens

    performance from the perspective and eyes of an outsider. My real role

    was actually to observe how she behaved around Qamal and vice versa.

    But hey, I did come up with a report on my observation of the children.

    After what Edward had told her about his observation of Qamals

    behaviour around her, Leya wanted me to give my perspective on the

    matter. :You know me very well Zara, she said when she made the

    request when we were having dinner at her place one night. I would

    like you to be brutally honest with me, just tell me what you saw

    without mincing your words, she said. Wow, that was a daunting task.

    And even though Ive been well known for calling a spade a spade, I

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    had to say that I was quite apprehensive about the whole thing. I was at

    the camp for three days and two nights.

    I went about my work as unobstrusively as possible. As a member of

    the team of fascilitators I stayed in the same block and move around

    with them. Leya made me promised that I should behaved exactly as the

    other fascilitators and I should only talked to her about my observation

    when we were back in town after the camp had finished. She on her

    part would behaved as normal as possible.

    The one thing that caught my attention instantly was Leyas demeanour

    when she was around the children. She mixed and moved around them

    with gay abandon the likes of which I had not seen before. There were a

    lot of spontaneous behaviour. The gaiety and cheerfulness rubbed off

    on the others around her. She was animated and really looked as if she

    was thoroughly enjoying herself. All in all very captivating. Leya in her

    unguarded moment.

    When Leya introduced the members of the project team, Qamal was the

    last one she mentioned. It was obvious to me; my perception was; save

    the best for last! According to her she introduced Qamal last because he

    was the head of the project team. Whatever Leya, I thought to myself.

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    Qamal at forty eight years was a well preserved and distinguished

    looking man. He has a kind face and very gentle eyes. He was charming

    too. The children and the other members of the project team got on very

    well with him. He was approachable, kind but firm and he was able to

    suit his organising styles with the situations that demanded different

    approaches. The team members whom I spoke to has nothing but kind

    words for him. The children too spoke enthusiastically about him.

    One thing which was obvious was no one seemed to be aware of the

    undercurrents between Leya and Qamal. This was due to the fact that

    every one in the team were very close. They were very open and

    communicated easily with one another. Teasing one another was quite

    normal.When you observed them you could see that they were very

    comfortable in one anothers company. This augered well for the

    relationship between Qamal and Leya to flourish without anyone

    becoming conscious that the level of their friendship had gone on to a

    higher plane.

    It took another person who was outside the team to see the real state of

    the relationship. Edward must have been awestruck by the closeness

    displayed. What Edward saw was more than just a friendship between a

    man and a woman. There were deep feelings involved. It was especially

    obvious where Qamal was concerned.

    From my observation and stealthy activities Leya seemed more natural

    and not overtly expressive about her feelings for Qamal. What was

    obvious to me was she treated him the same as she did the others. I

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    have known Leya since we met at the age of twelve. She was not the

    type who let the world see how she felt. This was characteristics of

    people who had to fight for their happiness and a way of shielding

    themselves from getting hurt. A kind of defence mechanism.

    Leya had always been better at writing than talking about her feelings.

    In a group Leya was the attentive and active listener. The one who has

    never suffered from verbal diarrhea. The one who practiced the

    economy of words. The one you seek out when you need someone to

    listen.When she spoke sometimes she might hurt your feelings because

    she always said what she believed was the truth. The one redeeming

    traits which helped her in awkward situations was her quick apologies

    when she became aware that she had hurt your feelings. The only

    problem was some people were not as forgiving.

    During the camp Leya and Qamal were constantly in each others

    company. It was part of the job. The project they were working on was

    also a research project financed by a local foundation. They had to

    record data and analysed them and also discussed qualitative statements

    to describe the childrens performance. The work required them to be

    constantly together. I found out that they were very often left to work

    undisturbed by the rest of the other team members.

    Based on my observation it was quite obvious that Qamal was in love

    with Leya. You could see it in the way he looked at her and the concern

    he showed for her well being. Leya on the other hand was not very open

    about her feelings for Qamal. When they were alone Leya was more

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    careful in the way she treated him. She was friendly but she was careful

    not to look him too long in the eyes and made sure that she kept a

    comfortable distance from him so that there will be no misinterpretation

    of the situation.

    Leya did not have a big circle of friends. I was one of her confidante.

    She has a few very close friends. Those were friends who accepted her,

    warts and all. Leya believed that if you were really close friends there

    should be no holds barred. You should be able to be truthful at most

    times if not all times. This belief has got her in some awkward

    situations with some of her friends. I remembered one particular

    incident when it took Leya more than a month to repair the friendship.

    Well that was the Leya I knew and loved.

    Leya always said that she was not socially adept. You know Zara, its

    an effort for me to have to socialize, she told me one night when we

    were invited for a function involving some dignitaries. I could see what

    she meant, she found it difficult to make small talks. Leya however

    performed very well in functions where she was required to interact

    professionally. In those situations she was in her elements. Her

    command of the programmes and projects she worked on made those

    who listened respect and valued her for her contributions.

    At the end of the camp Leya took me out for a dinner treat. During the

    dinner she asked me about my observation of what had happened in the

    camp with regards to her relationship with Qamal. I told her truthfully

    what had caught my attention. I was brutally honest. You are in love

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    with Qamal, you must be honest with me Leya, you are, arent you?, I

    confronted her.

    She looked at me with such anguish in her eyes that my eyes started

    smarting. Oh Leya, no, I exclaimed. Tears started rolling down her

    cheeks. I am scared Zara, she mumbled. I dont know whats

    happening to me, I just cant seem to control my heart anymore, she

    said. You know how I feel about a relationship with a married man,

    she continued. Do you think Qamal knows how I feel?, she asked.

    I told her that he might; but he might not be sure as Leya never let on

    about how she felt to anyone on the team. She talked about him only to

    me. Where her colleagues were concerned none would be suspicious

    unless they were being polite and respectful by not showing any inkling

    on what was going on between the two of them.

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    Two months after the end of the camp Leya called me. Her voice was

    full of excitement. She told me that the head of the foundation who

    sponsored the research wanted Qamal and her to go to a convention on

    Education of Children in the Rural Setting, in Bangkok,Thailand. They

    had been working on the project for two years. Qamal and Leya

    deserved the trip. After the convention they would be travelling to the

    rural areas of Thailand to look at projects quite similar to what they had

    been doing. They were also asked to see the impact of the programme

    on the children and how they were helped to maximise their potentials.

    They would be away for three weeks.

    Leya was quite apprehensive about the trip. Alot can happen in three

    weeks Zara, she said. She was worried that Qamal would use the

    occasion to talk to her about his feelings. Zara what am I going to do if

    this were to happen?, she asked. It was obvious to me that Leya was

    begining to feel vulnerable. Based on our discussions with our married

    friends on the relationships between men and women we concluded that

    most of them got hitched when they were in their most vulnerable state.

    I was quite sure that Leya would not be able to reject Qamal outright.

    She had to maintain a cordial relationship as they had to work together

    on the project for another year. Further more since both of them were

    away from home they had to be careful about making one another feel

    uncomfortable in each others company.

    During the trip being in each others company would be inevitable as

    they would be working closely together to present their convention

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    papers and to discuss their observations on the project they were going

    to evaluate. But knowing Leya I knew that she would be able to handle

    the situation. The outcome would be anyones guess. We did not

    communicate much when she was away on the trip. They were

    constantly on the move. Even though I was extremely curious to know

    what was happening between them, I did not call. If Leya needed to talk

    she would call.

    I met Leya a month after she came back from the trip. We met for

    dinner. As I was away on a course I could not meet her earlier. She

    kind of looked sad that night. When I prodded her about what had

    happened in Bangkok, she sighed and looked at me with dewy

    eyes.Qamal spoke about how he felt towards me, Zara, she said. He

    wanted me to take my time and consider how we want the friendship to

    develop, she continued. What did you tell him ?, I asked.

    Leya looked at me in a daze. She remained very quiet for a long time. I

    let her be, to give her time to sort out her feelings and decide on what

    she wanted me to know. She has every right to keep certain things

    secret. We had always respected one anothers privacy. After a long

    while she looked up and with a sigh told me that she did not tell Qamal

    her true feelings. However, she told him that she needed time to sort out

    what her true feelings were towards him.

    While she was telling me about what had happened in Bangkok, I

    noticed that she was all the time fingering the pendant she was wearing.

    I had seen that piece of jewellery before. She must have bought it in

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    Bangkok I thought to myself. From then on I noticed that she always

    wore it without fail. I wondered what was the story behind that

    necklace.

    It was only when we were in Bali that she told me about the necklace

    and the pendant. While sipping the chamomile tea she paused and

    unclasped the necklace and handed it to me. This is the necklace and

    pendant that Qamal bought for me when we were in Bangkok, Zara,

    she said. I didnt want to accept it at first, it was too expensive and I

    was not comfortable receiving it from him, she continued. Its

    beautiful. What prompted you to accept it eventually?, I asked.

    Leya looked at me with her big sad eyes. When I told him I cannot

    accept the gift, Qamal looked so crestfallen. I became flabbergasted

    Zara, she exclaimed. Then his eyes misted over, and he became very

    quiet. I didnt know what to do, she continued. Leya always did things

    according to her impulse. Usually she would immediately regret her

    action.

    What did you do when you saw him like that?, I asked. I was so

    impatiently curious to know. Ive never seen a man cry Zara except

    those in my immediate family!. When I saw him cry I knew Ive hurt

    his feelings. I apologised profusely, she explained. According to Leya,

    she had to explain to him why she could not accept the necklace. She

    perceived that by accepting it she was making a commitment for a

    relationship that she was not sure of the direction it was going. Further

    more she could not accept so expensive a gift.

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    Did he accept your reasons for refusing his gift?, I asked. Leya said

    when Qamal regained his composure, he expressed his disappointment

    of the fact that Leya did not give him the chance to explain about the

    gift. He was sad that Leya rejected the gift before he could say

    anything. That was typical of Leya I thought. In akward situations Leya

    would normally react like that, saying things on impulse only to regret

    it later.

    The story behind the necklace and the pendant was actually quite

    beautiful. Qamal bought two pendants of a heart split into two. Only

    Leyas half has a diamond, sitting at the tip of the middle part of the

    half heart. Qamals half has none. According to Qamal, the two halves

    of the heart were symbolic of their relationship at that particular

    moment. Each of them had feelings towards one another but not

    flowing along the same course, more aptly described as being at a

    confluence. Qamals feelings towards Leya was crystal clear but Leyas

    feelings towards Qamal was not. The diamond at Leyas pendant

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    symbolizes the light , the sparkle that will illuminate the relationship

    once the two halves became whole. Qamal wanted me to accept the

    gift and take my time to examine my feelings towards him, Leya

    explained.

    Qamals marriage was an arranged one. It was what his late mother

    wanted. He was married off to his mothers best friends only daughter.

    Being a filial son Qamal did not object as he did not want to hurt his

    mothers feelings and did any untowards harm to her weak heart.

    Further more he was not in any relationship. His love for his wife was

    more as the mother of his children than the true love of his life.

    Before Qamal met Leya he did not feel deprived or cheated of his true

    love. His wife had looked after all his needs very well indeed. In the

    initial stage of the project Qamal had actually introduced his wife to

    Leya and his wife liked Leya very much. She had even said that she

    trusted Leya. I could understand Leyas dilemma where her relationship

    with Qamal was concerned.

    Qamal said he was willing to wait until Im very sure of my feelings

    towards him Zara, Leya continued. He insisted that I should keep the

    gift and not feel hurried to come to any decision. If I did not accept it he

    would understand, Leya explained. I could understand Leyas

    predicament. Leya said she could not do that to Qamal as he had been

    so good to her and had never behaved ungentlemanly at any time in the

    course of their relationship.

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    Okay Leya, I think there is no harm in accepting it as you could treat it

    like any ordinary gift sincerely given by a friend, I said. Yes, Zara but

    Ive told him that if anything were to happen to me before I made the

    final decision he must accept this necklace when it is returned to him,

    Leya explained further. Whats going to happen to you? Are you

    hiding something from me Leya?, I questioned. No Zara of course

    not, she continued. Leya made me promised that Ill return the

    necklace with the pendant to Qamal if such a situation warranted it. Of

    course I promised.

    I took the pendant from where I had put it and looked at it intently. It

    was a beautiful piece of work. I called Qamal and told him that Ill be

    meeting him at their favourite eating place. When Leya passed away

    Qamal was away in New Zealand for a three days conference. He could

    not attend the funeral. Leya was only at the hospital for two days before

    she passed on.

    Her death was quick and most unexpected. She was hospitalized for a

    thorough check up of a growth in her brain after she fainted at work.

    Leya had always suffered from migraine. She seemed to have them

    more frequently after her trip to Bangkok. I had reminded her for the

    umpteenth times to have a thorough checkup whenever she had one of

    her worst migraine. When Leya had her worst migraine she had to have

    the room darkened and she would be vomitting the whole day. That

    situation would normally persist for two whole days. However, she

    would brushed aside my concern and said that her migraine was

    heriditary, that she got her migraine genes from her mother.

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    Leya died of a burst blood vessel in her brain that resulted in an

    extensive internal haemorrhage. There was nothing the doctor could do.

    It was something that could not be detected easily. She was 36 years

    old. At the prime of her life.

    Qamal asked me to go for dinner as he could not make it for lunch. I

    arrived early, I wanted some time to choose the table as what I was

    going to tell Qamal might cause a reaction that may embarrassed him.

    The table I chose was at a secluded corner near the water feature of the

    restaurant. It was not too quiet. It served my purpose well. Qamal was

    punctual. He came with a box of chocolate for me. That was very nice

    of him.

    I have never been alone with Qamal before. The few times I met him, I

    was always with Leya. However, because he was such an affable

    character I did not feel awkward with him. He was like a big brother to

    me. Qamal looked kind of sad and forlorn to me. You know the kind of

    feeling you get sometimes, feeling so alone even though you were in a

    crowd. I could sense it the moment he sat down. He must have felt

    Leyas absence. We both did. For a while we just sat and sipped our

    drinks. Each with memories of Leya all of our own, each remembering

    the perfect moments we had with her.

    Qamal, lets eat dinner before I get down to the purpose of my asking

    you to meet me here, I began the conversation. Im really hungry, I

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    continued. Thats alright with me Zara, Im famished too, Ive not

    eaten anything since lunch. I had an early lunch., Qamal answered.

    We ordered coffee after we had finished dinner. It was only when I saw

    Qamal looking quite relaxed that I took out the red velvet jewellery box

    from my handbag. Qamal face took on an ashen look upon seeing the

    box. He stared at me with a puzzled look. Zara what is this? Why is

    this box with you?, he queried.

    Qamal, this is from Leya, she made me promised that I will return this

    necklace with its pendant to you. Leya said both of you had made a

    pact. She did not elaborate. Do you remember what the pact is about?,

    I asked. Qamal looked puzzled. I do not remember that we made such

    a pact, he said. He was visibly disturbed. What I remembered telling

    her was that the pendant would become whole once she accepted my

    feelings for her, he continued. But Leya was very sure about this

    Qamal, I reiterated. Please try and recall, I said.

    Qamal showed me the necklace around his neck. He then unclasped the

    chain and handed it to me. I looked at it intently. This is a half heart!,

    I gasped. I took Leyas pendant from the box and put the two halves

    side by side. There was a discreet clasp at the two ends of both halves, I

    push the two halves together, heard two clicks and viola a whole heart!

    Incredible. The diamond sat in the middle of the heart. Beautiful.

    I looked at Qamal with amazement in my eyes, that was how I felt my

    eyes must have looked like at that moment. Qamal looked at me with a

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    wistful expression that said it all. Do you understand now what I

    meant when I said that the heart would become whole if Leya accept

    my love for her?, he asked. Yes, I do now, I mumbled sadly. Both of

    us looked at one another and our eyes misted over. We were both silent

    for a long time just looking at the pendant.

    When I looked up I could see that Qamal was really affected by it all. I

    could see tears in his eyes. I remembered now Zara, it was Leya who

    said that she would return this necklace and pendant if anything

    happened to her before she made any decision about our relationship,

    Qamal explained. I had to tell Qamal something that I hoped will make

    him happy, if happy was the correct word to use for such a sad

    situation.

    I decided to tell Qamal what Leya told me a day before she died. My

    hunch was the knowledge would ease a lttle bit the pain Qamal was

    suffering from. Qamal, a day before Leya passed on she told me

    something that I think you have the right to know, I began. Qamal

    looked up with an expectant look on his face. She told me that she

    loved you very much. She said she was going to tell you once you come

    back from New Zealand, I said.

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    Qamal looked at me with such anguish in his eyes that I felt my heart

    constricted. Unknowingly tears started rolling down my cheeks. I found

    it difficult to continue. She also made me promised that I would return

    this necklace with the pendant to you if anything happened to her

    before you come back from New Zealand. It was uncanny. She seemed

    to know the end was near, I concluded. I could not continue. I covered

    my face with my hands and sobbed.

    When I was able to contol myself, I looked at Qamal. Qamal was

    crying. Oh my God I thought to myself, how am I going to console him.

    I kept quiet and let Qamal try to control himself. After a while Qamal

    looked at me ,Im sorry Zara, I just could not control myself, he said

    in a quavering voice. Then he felt silent again. It was obvious that the

    news affected him very much.

    You know Qamal, I think I could understand now why Leya wanted

    me to return this necklace and the pendant to you. She wanted you to

    know that she felt whole when she finally acknowledged her true

    feelings about you, I said. I could see that she was at peace and happy

    when she finally accepted that fact. She was radiant that day, I

    continued. Qamals lips trembled and he covered his face with his two

    hands.

    Please if you dont mind, I would like to be alone now Zara, Qamal

    requested. Alright Qamal, I have told you about what had happened in

    the final hours of Leyas life before she was tragically taken from us, I

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    said. Please take your time and do call me if you need anything, I

    reminded him.

    As I took my leave I could hear him let out a long sigh and when I

    looked back I could see that he was crying. How sad being left with a

    love so beautiful but with a wrenching void in the depth of his heart.

    Yes, it hurts and hurts bad, but you will get over it Qamal, trust me. I

    have been there.

    Rabiah Johari 09

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