WEEK THREE: ENCOURAGING WORDS – Leader Guide By Dan Roseman May 20, 2012 Words are important. We use our words to communicate hopes, dreams, love, and more. We also use them to harm, destroy, and defame those that are the closest to us. Where Am I Today?

1) Q. What is the most encouraging thing anyone has ever said to you? How long ago was it said? A. Many people can remember an encouraging word they heard 30 to 40+ years ago as if they heard it yesterday. It stays with us, we rehearse it in our minds, and we remember the person who said it fondly. This is (sometimes) especially true if it wasn’t a family member. It’s easy to think, “She had to say something nice; she’s my Mom.” But when a teacher, coach, boss, friend, etc., says it, it can carry more weight. Remembering how much you enjoyed and benefited from an authentic encouraging word can be a great motivation to do the same for others.

Into the Bible

2) Q. Our natural inclination is to use words that are “unwholesome” (Ephesians 4:29) or “corrupting” (Ephesians 4:29, ESV), because speech is little more than a symptom of a deeper heart problem. Read Ephesians 4:29-32 to see the Biblical progression. What does our natural pattern of speech look like? What are we called to change it to reflect? From where do we get the ability to change (think emptying your gas tank to fill it up again)? A. Our speech is naturally “unwholesome” or “corrupting.” So our words are naturally going to do more harm than good. They grieve God and are full of “bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander.” Yet we are called to speak in a way that builds

ACTIONS SPEAK WEEK THREE: ENCOURAGING WORDS – Leader Guide

 

 

others up—a way that is kind, compassionate, and forgiving. We are to reflect the life change, forgiveness and mercy we have been given. The reason we’re able to make these changes is because of what God has already done through Christ. The more we understand God’s love for us, how much He has forgiven us, and how much His words are encouraging and empowering us, the easier it is for us to do the same for others.

3) Q. The Bible takes words seriously. Sometimes this is encouraging. At other times, it is a very sobering reality. Either way, it illustrates our responsibility as Jesus-followers to choose our words carefully. What do the following passages have to say about the potential danger and/or redemptive value of our speech? a. Ecclesiastes 10:12-14 – You create the consequences that you get as a result

of your speech. If you love God and are wise, your words will actually gain you a good reputation. You’ll have the respect of those around you. However, if you choose to ignore God and are foolish, you can literally destroy your life.

b. Matthew 15:11, 18-19 – Our words are a sign of what is inside our hearts.

People who are encouraging to others show that they have a selfless love for others in their hearts. People who tell dirty jokes frequently show that their hearts are full of filth. What you say not only reveals who you are, but further solidifies who you are.

c. Romans 10:17 – How you act around others as a Jesus-follower is important;

but your actions will not be what directly causes others to meet Jesus. Telling people about Jesus, emphasizing your story of how He has changed your life, and making much of the Good News of what He accomplished on the cross is the actual agent that God uses to save people. Think about that for a minute. God has decided to use your words to bring people to life spiritually!

d. Colossians 4:5-6 – You can use your words in such a way that they calm others

down, prevent situations from escalating, encourage and comfort others … and much more. This obviously happens within the church, but it also should guide your behavior towards and around people who do not know God.

e. James 3:2-12 – Your tongue (and its words) is one of the hardest things to

control and can cause some incredible damage. While an encouraging word can be very helpful, destructive words can cause immeasurable damage.

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How Does This Apply?

4) Q. Hebrews 3:13 says to “encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness.” Think about a positive characteristic you see in every person in your group. Specifically think of an area where you see God using them and/or working through them. Take time together to share those things with the people in your group. Use this as an opportunity to speak life and truth into the people in your group, who are the very people you’re doing life together with. A. Answers will vary. Even one word answers can be legitimate. “Jim, you’re strong,” “Sally, you’re compassionate.” Groups that are closer may take it to the next level, as in: “Without your support, my family and I would not have gotten through _______.” This can be a great opportunity to build and/or strengthen a necessary bond in your group. Without that bond the church cannot accomplish what we are called to accomplish.

5) Q. Think about a time that you encouraged someone and saw his face light up instantly. Now think about a time that you spoke quickly and harshly to someone and saw her face fall immediately (we’ve all done it; there’s grace). Based on how similar words have affected you, how can you start using your speech to build others up around you? A. This is an opportunity to draw out and apply much of what you thought of for Question 1. Since you know of a time that someone encouraged you greatly, and you probably think well of that person, use that as an encouragement to do the same for someone else. Start intentionally looking for the good in others; if you encourage it, you may just find that quality increasing in them and more negative qualities decreasing.

Digging Deeper: Going Further on Your Own

6) Q. The first thing God does in the Bible is speak things into existence ex nihilo (out of nothing). In John 1, Jesus is described as “the Word.” The clearest revelation God has left of Himself is a Book. God has always been, and will always be, a God of speech. He speaks to create, teach, correct, heal, and much more. We are created in His image. This means that people reflect His nature, character, and even physical appearance (as seen through Jesus) more than any other part of creation. This also

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means that we have the ability to communicate with more complexity, clarity, and power than anything else in creation, through our speech. Yes, We are far more limited; we cannot create ex nihilo. However, this explains why our words have so much effect on other people. God’s words have power to build people up, just as our words have the power to build people up. As God’s words have power to correct people who are in sin, so our words have power to correct people who are in sin. There are far more examples than can be included here, and though our ability pales in comparison to God’s, it is still an essential part of being created in God’s image. That’s why it’s so important to be intentional with our speech. How does this understanding affect our care and use of our words around others? Genesis 1 John 1 Mark 5:21-24, 35-42 Mark 4:35-41

A. Knowing that we’re created in God’s image is the most effective way to see that we have dignity and worth. It also shows us how far we have fallen because of sin. We bear God’s image, but it has been fractured. By living a life where we pursue Christ, are filled with the Holy Spirit, and stay in community with one another, we can have speech that is helpful. We can actually see countenances change, lives take a different direction, and much more—just because of our words. This can cause us to be thankful to God for what He has done in and through us, and be thankful for the privilege of being His image-bearers.