Founded in 1949 N E W S P A P E R O F I M P E R I A L C O L L E G E U N I O N F R E E !

No. 383 T H U R S D A Y , 1 3 T H M A R C H , 1975.

WEEKS HALL REOPENS FLOOD 1

I N T H E T O I L E T S O F F

T H E U N I O N B A R L A S T F R I D A Y there was a

U n i o n B a r . Water was gush ing a l l let had to be c l o s e d for a per iod

Now a l l th is water you might have expec ted to run i n ­to the centre of the f loor and down the d ra in . However due to the c l eve r des i gn of the dra in ( i t be ing at the h ighest point of the floor) the water d i d the oppos i te and c o l l e c t e d round the e d g e s .

The obv i ous course of ac t ­ion wou ld be to lower the en ­trance to the dra in and th is was in fact be ing done when the f lood occured . It appears that the workmen in vo l v ed with the re -pos i t i on ing of the drain used an e l e c t r i c d r i l l wh i ch a c c i d e n t a l l y p i e r ced a water p ipe .

The damage done was not too ex tens i ve and the f a c i l i t y does appear to be in work ing order now. There were few compla in ts except from the, o c c a s i o n a l murmurings. of the bar patrons who had to wa lk ac ross the lower lounge to the

f lood i n the t o i l e t s jus t off the over the p l a c e , and so the t o i -

other p l ace when nature de­manded i t .

GUESTS SMASHED!

40. F R E N C H M E N descend ­ed upOivIC l a s t F r i d a y and u n ­fortunately went away" broken and de j ec t ed . G u e s s who tan a l l over them on the sports p i t ch? England. A ramshack le I C Rugby team massoac red them 24-0, then a rampant(?) U C team f i n a l l y demo l i shed them on the footba l l p i t c h 14-0. It sounds inc r ed ib l e -more l i k e a rugby soc re . S t i l l , they c onso l ed themse lves over a crate o f w h i s k y .

W E E K S H A L L w i l l be re-opening i n the summer term and students w i l l be offered p l a c e s on ly for the durat ion of t h i s term. There i s to be no summer vaca t i on l e t t ing i n order that further s t ruc tura l s t rengthening work be car r i ed out. T h e progress of th i s work w i l l determine whether the h a l l w i l l be ready aga in for the autumn term.

The work to be done w i l l take approx imate ly twe lve months to comple te . If the work i s started before the autumn term then the h a l l w i l l be out of use for the whole of the s e s s i o n 1975/6, other­w i s e i t w i l l be in use for the f i rs t term of the s e s s i o n o n l y . T h i s i s due to the fact that the a l t e rnat i ve date of com­menc ing w i l l be C h r i s t m a s , 1975.

There are str ingent c o n d i ­t ions at tached to th i s move wh i ch i nc lude ; the Weeks H a l l Ba r remaining c l o s e d through­out the summer t e r m . A l l r e s i ­dents w i l l a l s o be expec ted to s i gn an under tak ing to the affect that he w i l l not in t ro­duce mater ia ls that are l i k e l y to cause exp l o s i ons (for ex­ample , portable gas c y l i n d e r s ) . T o th is and, the pres ident of I C U n i o n , T rev P h i l l i p s has been a s k e d to recommend a number of students who wou ld co-operate wi th the Warden to ensure s t r i c t adherence to the s t i pu l a t ed c o n d i t i o n s .

A l l s tudents shou ld r ece i ve a l e t ter from Trev P h i l l i p s w i th in the next two or three days o u t l i n i n g the cond i t i ons under wh i ch they w i l l be a l l o w ­

ed to stay i n the h a l l . Whi l s t the next phase of s t ructura l work i s i n progress the h a l l w i l l have no occupants r e s i d ­i n g there . It i s hoped that after th i s second phase the h a l l w i l l be safe to accommo­date students for the f o l l ow ing s e s s i o n .

F L O O D 2 A F L O O D has been re­

ported i n one of the basement storage rooms o f the U n i o n b u i l d i n g wh ich i s u s e d , i ron­i c a l l y enough, by the Under ­water C l u b .

The source of the f l ood ing was a jo in t in a dra in-p ipe wh i ch i s exposed in the room. It i s understood that the jo in t b lew out under pressure due to a b lockage at the k i t c h e n end of the f ra in . A plumber was c a l l e d and the matter i s now under c on t r o l .

For tunate l y for the Under ­water C l u b , the storage room i s s p l i t - l e v e l and so mo^t of their equipment suffered no damage whatsoever from the water .

W O U L D L I K E T O W I S H A L L I T S R E A D E R S A

H A P P Y E A S T E R

F i t IX

M i c h a e l W i l l i a m s

T H E E A S T E R vaca t i on i s now upon us and for many i t i s a very we lcome resp i te from their academic labours : a breath ing per iod in w h i c h those problem sheets and pro ject reports wh i ch are s t i l l ou t s tand ing can be f i n a l l y t a ck l ed and then l a i d to rest w i thout the d i s ­t rac t ion of l e c tures , lab per iods e t c . But for a handful of s tudents who are d i s t r ibuted throughout the country , the vac w i l l prove to be a time for bo ld rhetor ic , four ious n a i l - b i t i n g and subt le whee l ing and dea l ing as their mett le comes under c l o s e s c ru t ing . F o r i t i s a the E a s t e r Con fe rence at L l andudno A p r i l 7th - 11th that the e l e c t i ons for the N a t i o n a l U n i o n of Students E x e c u ­t ive w i l l take p l a c e . On ly those de l e ­gates e l e c t ed from each member s tud­en t s ' un ion w i l l be en t i t l ed to vote .

T h i s year the B road L e f t ' s on the N U S E x e c i s be ing cha l l enged by " m o d ­e r a t e s " who be l i e v e the N U S shou ld be more democrat ic i n their e l e c t i o n s by hav ing a nat ion-wide sec re t -ba l l o t . This, they believe, would make NUS truly representative of the students of this country .

The Broad L e f t , i n r ep l y , have s a i d that a nat ion-wide ba l l o t would be too vu lnerab le to r i ch s tudents , for example , who might try to buy their way to power with expensive publicity. Anyway , they cont inue , the N U S has been deve loped as a federa l i n s t i t u t i on w i th de legates e l e c t ed from each cons t i tuent o rgan i sa ­t ion to help dec ide p o l i c y at conferenc­es - i t shou ld stay that way.

Thus a controversy rages , and, as in a l l good con t rove r s i e s , dif ferent s o l ­

ut ions emerge depending on w h i c h part­i c u l a r c r i t e r i on for r e so lu t i on happens to take your fancy at any g iven moment.

It i s perhaps unfortunate that Nega­tive Democracy (ie "because the peop­le do not object to this view, then it is clearly what they really want") can on ly be beaten by a c t i v e pa r t i c i pa t i on , because , c ons i d e r i ng the state of s t u ­dent apathy , the la t ter i s a non-starter .

I believe the only way in which the question of genuine representation can ever be resolved is to hold a nation­wide referendum. This would leave no doubts in anyone's minds as to what the students in this country want. Only those who would expect to lose some­thing in a referendum would totally re­ject the idea.

L K T T E f t S Chauvinist!

Mechanical Engineering Dept. Imperial College. 14th March, 1975.

Dear S i r , May I congratua l te M e s s r s .

S e a l , Scot t , North and W i l k i n ­son on their contr ibut ion to Sc i ence in d e s c r i b i ng so a c c u ­rate ly the a t t i tudes of that wan ing s p e c i e s , the 'Ma l e C h a u v i n i s t P t . g ' ? ( F E L I X , N o . 382).

T h i s informat ion may re­so l ve the current d i s s en t e x i s t ­ing amongst Z o o l o g i s t s as to whether the spe c i e s i s ac t ­ua l l y a s u r v i v i n g ances tor of 'HomoSap i ens ' or s imp ly a sub-spec i e s of the ape .

Your s s i n c e r e l y

L . V . M a x w e l l .

Monopoly Royal College of Science Union Office 17th March 1975.

Dear M ike Thank you for the report on

"The RCS Monopoly Treasure Hunt" pub l i shed in the l a s t F E L I X . However I must make two comments: 1) 'Monopoly' i s a reg is tered trade mark of John Waddington L t d and, acknowledgement of th i s fact i n a l l wr i t ten mater­i a l was one of the cond i t i ons of b e ing a l l owed to use i t . 2) The person who he lped me organise the stunt was , i n fact , J a n V i n c e n t , and not as was reported.

Y o u r s s ince r e l y ,

Mart in K e s s l e r RCSU VP

FELIX © Michael J . L . Williams

Editor

1975 FELIX Office, Imperial College Union, Prince Consort Road, South Kensington, London SW7 2BB

Published by the Editor on behalf of the Imperial College Union Publications Board.

Printed Offset-litho on the Union premises. P a u l Ekpenyong , Sub-Editor R i c h a r d Waring, News Editor R i z S h a k i t , Features Editor Ramon Newmann, Photographic Editor Rob J o n e s , Sports Editor Roger W i l k i n s , Photo-Journalist C h r i s Keenan , Business Manager John M c C l o s k e y , Technical Manager

Ian Morse , Hon .Production Engineer

Many thanks to Gill. Sue, and Andrew.

01-589-5111 Ext.2166 Int.2881.

Answers to Xam No .13. ORPHANS'

W A R D E N S H I P O F

W I L L I S J A C K S O N H O U S E

The present Warden of Willis Jackson House will be leav­ing the College at the end of this session. Applications are invited from students of the College to fill the position with effect from 1st October, 1975.

The successful applicant will be a married postgraduate, who has been studying at the College for about a year. He should have some experience of handling student affairs, and be likely to be at IC another two years.

A flat is provided for the Warden, rent-free, and he re­ceives an entertainment allowance.

Application forms will be available from the Union Office from Tuesday, 25th March .Applications close on Monday, May 12th .

A C R O S S 5. Mother 's day 9. IOUs 10. Supple 11. N e s t - e g g s 12. M a s s 14. Sk i 15. Untame 17. M i n i ­stry of works 19. In toto 20. A s p 22.Sash 23. 6 e o r g i n a 25. Osmium 27. Step 28. A l e x ­andria

DOWN 1. Modula t ion 2". Chop 3 .Creeps 4.Identity parade's 5.Dyestuff 6. L i c e n t i o u s 7.flung 13-Spiro­graph 16.Makes mus ic 18 .T rop­ical 2 1 . P o o - B a h 24 .En ts 26. Mode

The winner of Xam No.13 . was Mrs E.M.Galloway of Aer­onautical Engineering who receives the £1 prize.

PARTY

Vacation FELIX: If enough copy i s r e c e i v ed

by Monday 7th A p r i l we w i l l attempt to produce an E a s t e r V a c a t i o n F E L I X .

J M c C l o s k e y

A t 4.45pm on Wednesday 5th March , s e v e r a l r e s iden ts o f T i z a r d H a l l , h e l d the ann­u a l orphas party i n Souths ide lower re f ec tory . About f i f ty ch i l d r en who came from homes in C h e l s e a and Ba t t e r s ea , rap id ly f in i shed the e x c e l l en t food, a n d set to work provok­ing the pa t i en t organism w i th party w h i s t l e s . N a t u r a l l y the organ isers rose to the ba i t and d i s p l a y e d the i r h idden c h i l d ­i s h i n s t i n c t s . However , the party was not as rowdy as l a s t year and both the ch i l d r en and the organ isers c ons ide r ed i t to be a s u c c e s s .

W E L L D O N E T I Z A R D H A L L R E S I D E N T S .

f EL IX 3

STELLA GODFREY: NEXT YEAR'S ICWA PRESIDENT

L A S T T U E S D A Y luncht ime saw the ICWA e l e c t i ons be ing h e l d i n the ICWA lounge. T h i s years a l l - r ound dearth of c a n d i ­dates w i th in I C U s t ruck a g a in . However the s i tua t i on was some what the reverse of I C U : there were three cand ida tes for the post of ICWA P r e s i d e n t wh i l e the pos ts of D P , H o n . S e c . and H o n . J u n . T reasurer were un­opposed .

The cand idates for P r e s i ­dent were: Ka thy C o n l o n , S t e l l a Godfrey, and Sue T a n ­ner. T h e TCWA lounge was crowded for the a c tua l vo t ing and once th is was over, there was a tense wa i t before i t was announced that S t e l l a Godfrey c o l l e c t e d the most votes w i th the a c tua l r esu l t be ing very c l o s e .

So next y ea r ' s ICWA E x e c ­ut ive w i l l be: President: S t e l l a Godfrey

' P h y s i c s ) Dep . Pres: Dan i Sa l vador i

( P h y s i c s ) Hon. Sec: A l i s o n H a l s t e a d

( P h y s i c s ) Hon. Jun. Treas.: I sobe l Don ­

ne l l y (Zoology) S t e l l a has been ac t i v e th is

year as Rag secretary w h i c h i n vo l v ed o rgan i s ing meet ings , events and tak ing minutes at meet ings . The job a l s o brought her into contact w i th the R e ­fectory Manager and the Dom­e s t i c B u r s a r i n C o l l e g e B l o c k .

She reputes the rumour that she was r ' p u t u p " by the Wo­men in Science Group a l though she i s neve r the l e sss a member of the group and advocates most of i t s p o l i c i e s . S t e l l a a ims to create greater aware­n e s s amongst the women in the co l l e ge i n respect of a var i e ty of t op i cs i n c lud ing the d i f f i cu l t i e s many women en­counter when t ry ing to get i n ­dus t r i a l sponsorsh ip or s imp ly get t ing a job. One of her major a ims i s to at tract more women to I C .

T h i s i s noth ing p o l i t i c a l or an tagon i s t i c about S t e l l a G o d ­frey . Her approach to the whole ethos o f ICWA w i l l be one of e xpans i on , not one of subs t i tu t i on or dramatic change of emphas i s . The soc ­i a l events are to rece i ve more at tent ion as regards improve­ment.

One of her more concrete ideas i s to make the ICWA lounge into a k i n d of da i l y

Angela Aughwaine is in Maths I and comes from Birmingham. She is a keen darts player and when in oen of her more energetic moods she also plays net-ball. Angela enjoys social­ising and took part in the RCSU sketch for the Guilds Revue. She says that she enjoys the life at IC.

Photo by Ramon Newmann.

A l b e r t ' s P l u m (S.Ken.Stn.)

Cut Pr ice 55p + V A T 3-course meal to IC Students. Avai lable up to 8 p.m. (Dance-bar ' t i l l 3 a.m.)

common room w i th newspapers , magaz ines and a coffee mach­ine . Would men be barred from th is? " C e r t a i n l y n o t , " she s a y s , " b u t na tura l l y , i f we f ind that the p l ace i s s imp ly packed out w i th men every day of the week then we would probably have to recons ider the p o s i t i o n " . Sounds fa ir enough.

Other ideas that she hopes to implement next year i n c lude

co-ord inat ing f lat-sharing so that g i r l s who f i nd themse lves wi thout accommodat ion can be f i t ted into a f lat ; an ICWA Deba t ing Soc i e t y ; p o s s i b l y a Family P l a n n i n g C l i n i c i n C o l ­lege one day a week, but th i s idea i s , as" yet , s t i l l in the embryo stage ( ' s cuse the pun).

S t e l l a Godfrey i s c l e a r l y a l l set to make next y ea r ' s Women's A s s o c i a t i o n a group to be reckoned w i t h .

PROF BREMSSTRAHLUNG L e f t o b i t . . . Le f t a b i t . . .

bold i t ; No .. . bock a b i t . . .

••• back a b i t ... n o 1

B A C K man ! B A C K \ B A C K !

D f l M M IT Q U f l R K ! W H A T

A R E y o u P L A y | N G A T ? ?

Prof, I doubt that even you

could receive pictures f r o m pnercury three hours after

it'5 s e t !

4 FELIX

BRIGHTON TRIP '75 By Col in Andrew

T H E A N N U A L RSM tr ip to the seas ide at Br ighton has a l ­ways been an event the P o l i c e of th is d i s t r i c t have v i ewed w i th some t r ep ida t i on . T h i s year was to be no excep t i on . The tr ip s tar ted in the 'Queens ' after the e l e c t i o n s at about 2.00pm, the Pres iden t e l e c t , Mr Brayshaw reputedly 'getting a dozen gins down his neck'. The 53 mem­bers of the merry band then trooped back to M ines to board the c oach and to quench the i r th i r s t w i th the barre l on board; w i th in a very short d i s tance th i s began to take effect. With much shou t ing of "stop the bus, we want a weewee", the

. d r i v e r consented and a long queue, formed outs ide Wimble­don C o u n c i l ' s major tour ist a t t r a c t i on .

Re l i e f was only short l i v ed a s more beer was consumed a l ong w i th champagne and a s m a l l amount of food. A g a i n the d r i ve r eventua l l y consent ­ed and a s no ur ina l was in s i gh t we l ined up aga inst a fence and 'pa in ted parabo las ' - much to the embarrassment of s choo l - g i r l s w a l k i n g pas t . T h i s s top saw Mr Brayshaw attempting to p * * * on a spar ­row at the top of a tree. B o a r d ­ing the coach aga in the c a l l came for Mr Brayshaw to z u m -ba w h i c h he d id acco rd ing l y and f o l l ow ing th i s there came ye t another cry for re l ie f , e s p ­e c i a l l y from Bob Longman -"these anti-water retention pills are killing me". L u c k i l y th i s time the dr iver a l s o was desperate so we stopped out­s i d e a farm, most people thought the wa l l was good enough but the Pres ident e l e c t entered the farm yard and re­appeared wi th a muddy add­i t ion to h i s t rousers .

We eventua l l y reached Br ighton In h igh sp i r i t s at about 6.30pm and everyone streamed a c r o s s the park ( a few c o l l e c t i n g button-holes of da f fod i l s ) to the ' K i n g and Queens ' where most d i s c u s s e d the strategy for the e ven ing . B e i n g desperate for food we set off in search of th is pro­b lem, and succeeded In f i nd ­

ing c h i p p i e s , Ch inese res t ­aurants and sea-food s t a l l s ( j e l l i ed ee l doesn ' t s tay down very s ee l ! ) . The more exper-ineced of the merry-makers then proceded to the ' B o s u n ' s ' in search of what is c o l l o ­q u i a l l y known in M ines , as Rat Tart. Severa l pints later a traumatic d i scove ry was made;-horror of horrors - there was no door on the bog. T h i s f i n ­ished us at th is par t i cu lar es tab l i shment and people s p l i t up into smal l e r groups.

La te r in the even ing saw ever so s l i gh t l y inebriated Miners c o a l e s c i n g on the pub known as ' D r B r i g h t o n ' s . ' T h i s was the pub to wh i ch last year we returned two mir­rors borrowed from here the year before that, embe l l i shed w i th s m a l l p laques reading 'Stolen and returned by RSM 1974". A t about 10.30pm the manager dec ided that he no longer needed our custom and some of our band were e j e c t ed . About now, Jamie B e l l was seen s tagger ing around shout ­ing (In scouse ) "Ar yer corn-in' on a ramp?" T h i s was the bat t le cry to go borrowing s i gns from the s l eepy s t ree ts of th is qua int town. Af ter last years f racas w i th the H igh Sherri f f of Sussex we had de­c i d ed to be more s e l e c t i v e , so res taurants , pubs and the s e a -front where our prime ob ject ­i ve .

However it came to our not i ce that Mr Brayshaw, in keep ing wi th t rad i t ion , shou ld go for a sw im , due ly he was

escor ted down the beach and thrown into the now icy s e a . Emerg ing he was cour teous ly wrapped up in coa ts and taken to a nearby shop doorway to

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recover . T h i s appeared to be the meeting p lace for many of our band, and out of dark c o r n -e m s var ious c r im ina l types appeared wi th strange shapes under the i r c oa t s . The coach even tua l l y arr ived and we trooped on board, N i c k d i s ­covered he had lost h is w a l ­let so the cava l ry was sent out and duly returned s u c c e s s ­f u l l y . A cer ta in member, who s h a l l remain name l s s , left the coach and hung h i s poster ior over the sea w a l l to l essen h i s load then turned around and puked on top of the moun­ta in b e l ow .

Boh Longman, not to be outdone by N i c k Brayshaw, then dec ided to go for a sw im vo lun ta r i l y and had to be ca r ­r ied back on board the c o a c h . When on the coach he d id a marve lous impersonat ion of a zombie a s Pat Gorman changed h i s d r ipp ing c l o t h e s . About

11.45 pm we were nearly ready to set off when the news a r r i v ­ed that Steve Maw had been arrested for borrowing street lamps but was later r e l eased . The c oach left at about m id ­night w i th a good load of s i g n s .

The tr ip back, a l though uneventful for some, was very enter ta in ing for those w a t c h ­ing them; F red Tutcher s l ep t a lmos t the ent ire way back . He was to ta l l y unaware of the pound note ro l l ed up in h i s mouth, the co ins ba lanced on h i s e y e l i d s , and the paper cup on h i s head. A f te r a coup le of puke s tops we reached M ines at about 2 .45am.

The few who managed to get in to co l l e ge the next mor­ning commented on each others b l ea r iness but remembered l i t t l e of what was a very f ine t r ip , I th ink?

MINES REVUE T H E M INES Revue stormed e n t h u s i a s t i c a l l y into a c t i on last

Monday night to present enterta inment wi thout recourse to a str ipper , drag a r t i s t e or blue f i lms wh i ch are a regular feature at the other C C U r e v u e s . In the end , the gamble to forego the hired he lp of outs ide ' en te r ta iners ' paid off. Fo r a l though the smoky , crowded, int imate atmosphere wh i ch tends to preva i l in other revues was m i s s i n g , the effort and organ isat ion was II there to ensure that whatever hap­pened th i s year M ines Revue Is e s t a b l i s h e d on a firm foot­ing a s an annua l event .

T rue , the vast majority of those appear ing in the s k e t c h ­es have had p rac t i c a l l y no pre­v i o u s exper ience of revues and th i s aspec t was mani fest ­e d in the hes i ta t i on and uncer ­ta inty wh i ch cha rac t e r i s ed some of the f i rs t -ha l f s k e t c h ­e s . Neve r the l e s s , va luab l e l e s sons have been learned.

The Revue gathered momentum a s it went a long and there were some exce l l en t ideas w h i c h had c l ea r potent ia l - the on ly th ings rea l l y l a c k i n g were punch l ines wh i ch are the e s s e n c e of a good f i n i sh to a s k e t c h .

In c o n c l u s i o n it must be s a i d that w h i l s t th is event was a good revue but not a great revue, it must be qu i t e c l e a r to M ines that w i th so much potent ia l hav ing been exposed on that night, the out­look for next year must be very encourag ing indeed.

F t l ' X 3

The W i z a r d wi l l F a l l A l a n L i t t l e f o r d

A S M A N Y readers of F E L I X may be unaware of the greatest reve la t ion In the h is tory of human thought, I feel it my duty to expound the a c t i v i t i e s of the o f f i c i a l Wizard of the U n i v e r s i t y of New South Wales , and to de l i ght your readers w i th news of h i s amaz ing c o s m o l o g i c a l d i s c o v e r i e s .

Ian Brachenburg C h a n n e l ! , B A Hons Soc i o l ogy and P s y ­chology ( Leeds 1963) - was o f f i c i a l l y appo inted Wizard to the Un i v e r s i t y of New South Wales in 1969. In 1971 he set up the "Wizards C o s m o l o g i c a l Research and Deve lopment Cent re ' in the Department of L e v i t y at the Un i v e r s i t y of Melbourne - to w h i c h he has s i n c e been made o f f i ca l C o s m -ologer.

Many years of intense i n ­t e l l e c tua l a c t i v i t y have en ­ab led the Wizard , ab ly a s s i s t ­ed by theore t i ca l p h y s i c i s t Derek C . B a n k s , to put forward a new work ing model of the Un i v e r s e - the "Complete Revised Post-Modern Cosmol­ogy" • wh i ch is e s s e n t i a l l y a new s y n t h e s i s of p h y s i c a l and meta p h y s i c a l l aws .

To verify the v a l i d i t y of th is New Cosmo logy the W i z ­ard is preparing for T H E G R E A T E X P E R I M E N T .

In t h i s exper iment the W i z ­ard , at an exact t ime in 1975 s t i l l to be f i xed , w i l l journey to the An t ipodes I s land , some 400 mi l e s from N . Z . From th is Is land (which is d i ame t r i c a l l y

opposed to a point off the French coast ) the Wizard, after a per iod of merry making , w i l l lev i tate into the a i r and van ­i s h . P a s s i n g through the c e n ­tre of the un i ve rse (which i s a l s o the centre of lev i ty and Heaven - a co ra l l a ry of the New Cosmology ) , he w i l l app­ear triumphant In the E n g l i s h Channe l 42 minutes later. T o prevent h i s unt imely demise a recovery f leet ( i n c lud ing a yacht from IC) i s be ing pre­pared to greet him and s i m u l t ­aneous ly ra i se the leve l of lev i ty on the high s e a s .

Hav ing comple ted the major part of h i s great opus , the W i z ­ard has been g i v i ng greater at tent ion to the r e l l gous a s ­pects of the e xp r e s s i on of C o s m o l o g i c a l t r u t h s . He f i rs t d e v i s ed a mathemat ica l proof that he w i l l e d h imse l f to be born at a par t i cu la r time and p lace ; and that there c oo rd in ­ates were not, a s most modern cosmo log i es wou ld have of a n e c e s sa r i l y random nature. The second major outcome of the W i za rd ' s i n ves t i ga t i ons was h i s accep tance of the role

a n r f t l t l e of " T t h e Prophet" (In the mainstream Israe l i te t rad i t ion ) .

A s "The Prophet", the Wizard s e es h i s main a im as ha l t ing the wor ld-wide r e l i g i on of mate r ia l i s t economic pro­g ress , genera l ly timed Inter­nat iona l S o c i a l i s m or Inter­nat iona l C a p i t a l i s m , depend­ing on the sys tem by wh i ch the means of product ion are l eg i t imated . To a ch i e v e th i s a im the Wizard Intends to re­v i t a l i s e "The Faith" of the B r i t i s h peoples in Her Majesty the Queen , bas ing th is t h e s i s on the s t a b i l i t y r esu l t ing from the ba lance of power ach i e ved by the b ind ing by oath of var­ious l ega l , r e l i g ous -ph i l o soph -i c a l , execu t i v e and represent­a t i v e ins t i tu t i ons in B r i t a i n to the r e l i gous l y leg i t imated c o n ­s t i tu t i ona l Monarch. The gov­ernment r esu l t ing from such a s ys t em has proved to be im­perv ious to the manuever ings by mate r i a l i s t s in the form of s o c i a l o g i s t s , physcho l og i s t s and economis t s , who, w i th the he lp of party p o l i t i c i a n s and mass media cont ro l l e r s , b u s i l y attempt to engineer the "voice

of the people" to put them­s e l v e s in pos i t i ons of c om­plete to ta l i ta r ian au thor i t y .

Our reporter writes: Those who attended last weeks W i z ­ard We l l s o c lecture were treat­ed to a mental t r ip away from our normal concept ion of the un iverse , into one in wh i ch the Earth is on the i n s i de of a sphere , w i th the rest of the universe in the centra l r e g i o n . If l ight t rave ls in a curve , the p h y s i c a l laws are the same, and th i s un iverse i s i n d i s t i n g ­u i shab l e from o u r s . Whether the purpose i s a se r i ous ex­periment or an exe r c i s e to en­courage i rreverence towards our a priori un i v e r sa l model was not c l ea r , but to become a Wizard devotee is not d i f f i cu l t and the concepts are fun.

Further detai Is from: The department of levity, Univer­sity of Melbourne, Parkville, Victoria 3052, Australia; or Al Littleford and Murray Ward in TIzard Hall.

FOUND One b l a c k d ia ry , no name own­er appears to be invo l ved in U L U s p o r t s . C o l l e c t from J e n , U n i o n O f f i c e .

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6 FELIX

fiasnrds X a m

Duane All man: An Anthology Volume II. (Capricorn)

F O R T H O S E who have heard volume I, th is i s pretty s i m i l a r , though perhaps a bit more v a r i ed . F o r those who have not, it i s a double a l bum ' s worth of other art­i s t s ' t r a cks on w h i c h Duane A l l m a n p lays gui tar or dobro — a r t i s t s ranging from De laney & Bonney through Wi l son P i c k ­ett to (would you be l i eve? ) L u l u . Two t racks are a c t u a l l y c red i t ed to Duane A l l m a n , and both are prev ious ly unre-leased ( is it too irreverant to say 'one can see why? ' ) , as are four others on the a l b u m . M y favouri te t racks are those on s ide 4 by the A l l m a n Brothers Band , f o l ­lowed c l o s e l y by a Boz Scaggs t rack, "Waiting for a train", on s i d e 3.

Duane ' s e xce l l en t p l ay ing i s l i t t l e in ev idence on many of the t r a c k s , however, and e s p e c i a l l y as there is often another gui tar p layer , I feel that the dredging-up of these o ld record ings i s not rea l ly a f i t t ing t r ibute . But for those who may w i s h to make a c o l l e c t i o n of anyth ing he p layed , th is w i l l be a wor thwhi l e a s s e t .

Ij [ilii^S J o h n A n d r e w s

iris Murdoch: The Black Prince (Penguin).

THIS IS Ms Murdoch ' s fourteenth book; a l though i t ' s the f i rs t piece of her work wh i ch I've sampled she already e n -j oys a cons ide rab l e reputat ion as a wr i ter of Inte l l igent , Intr icate nove l s , and I'm sure many of her books are w e l l -known to some of the people reading t h i s . 'The Black Prince' refers to the hero of the s tory , an ag ing wr i ter from whose point of v i ew the book i s wr i t t en ; but it a l s o i s a sub t l e pseudonym for a rather more e ther la l f i gure , the ident i ty of whom I am not go ing to r evea l . The wr i ter becomes invo lved in an unset t l ed love af fair In wh i ch the eternal t r iang le Is expanded into a pentagon; and yet even when every th ing appears set t led a s t a r t l i n g event occurs wh i ch throws the apparent s i m p l i c i t y of the preceding story into an ent i re l y dif ferent perspec­t i ve a l together , and we are left undec ided on the sub|ect of the wr i t e r ' s honesty and , more to the po int , s a n i t y . 1 wouldn ' t a d v i s e reading It If you ' re f ee l ing de­pressed as Its a very me lancho ly book, but o therwise I can recommend i t .

P h i l l i p W e b b e r

Brindsley le poer-Trench: Mysterious Visitors (Pan)

B R I N D S L E Y le poer-Trench tr ies to cover every th ing remotely concern ing U . F . O . ' s (Un ident i f i ed F l y i n g Objects ) ,

in one book so begins at a d i sadvan tage . He f irmly be l i e v e s in A l i e n v i s i t i n g

Ear th , Te l epa thy , Te l epor ta t i on , Moon Boxes , A l i e n Mind Inf luence and genet ic breeding w i th human be ings . He makes what i s to my mind a t a c t i c a l error in a book t ry ing to prove someth ing ; of a s s e r t ­ing these ' f a c t s ' f i rs t then f inding ' e v i d ­ence ' . A l l unexp la inab l e events thus be­come e v i d ence .

Beg inn ing w i th the U S A F Condon Report on U F O ' s wh i ch he a l l e g es i s a C IA cover-up of the fac ts , the book then tends to the pa ra -p sy cho l o g i c a l , w i th human beings meet ing a l i e n s , v i s i onary exper i ences , p s y c h i c phenomena e t c . E v e n a sumise that the "Younger Gener­ation" i s a mixed race of A l i e n s / H u m a n s interbred somehow.

Here my brain becomes confused by A l i e n In f luences , Good for breaking the ice at par t i es .

James Wei lard: The Search for Lost Worlds (Pan)

The factual ba s i s for A t l a n t i s , E d e n , the Queen of Sheba , The A m a z o n s , The C a s o i t e r i d e s (Br i t a in ) , and A v a l o n are a l l w e l l researched and the facts c l e a r l y g i v en . The B i b l e , Sumer ian , Egyp t i an , and Greek s t o r i e s and myths a l l being drawn upon to get at the true h i s to ry .

The age-o ld story of A t l a n t i s seems f ina l l y put to rest by the A r c h a e o l o g i c a l and G e o l o g i c a l e v idence corresponding to a krakatoa l ike e x p l o s i o n wh i ch occur -ed about 1500 B C devas t ing the Eas t e rn Medl teranean region for hundreds of square mi l e s .

A l s o the land of the fo lded Pres ter J o h n , wh i ch was the biggest hoax of a l l t ime, provoking exploratory m i s s i o n s of Marco Po l o , V a s c o de Gama and others , a l l started by an inc red ib l e (In many ways ways! ) letter wr i t t en to the Roman and Byzan t in e Emperors of the t ime. They apparent ly be l i e ved in h i s 3000 w i v e s , and court of 30,000 (a l l ea t ing at one table) e t c . A book to ho ld your interest throughout.

X a m

The 4th Armada Crossword Book. Compiled by Robert Newton

C R O S S W O R D puzz l e s for beginners (or c h i l d r e n , for whom it is rea l ly intend­ed ) . One hundred sma l l c rosswords wi th mainly stra ight de f in i t i on c l u e s . A novel ty is that they are ' s ta rwords ' — severa l squares in each puz z l e are s ta r ­red, and when comple te , the letters in these squares can be arranged anagrama-t i c a l l y to g ive the answer to an add i t i on ­a l c lue ~ o c c a s i o n a l l y a he lp to comple ­t i o n .

One c r i t i c i s m i s that a l though the c l u e s are genera l ly very s imp l e ( e g . a jorney in South A f r i c a — answer TREK) there are a few answers w h i c h most adu l t s would not know (did you know a hare ' s t a i l is c a l l e d a s cu t ? ) . S t i l l , you can a l w a y s cheat by l ook ing it up in the answers at the back.

Leslie Stokes: The 4th Fontana Book of Crosswords.

E I G H T Y - F O U R c rosswords by a man " w e l l - k n o w n for h i s popular c rosswords in leading newspapers and m a g a z i n e s " . We l l , popular they may be, but I don ' t l ike them. The c l u e s are c r yp t i c , but not

In the usua l manner of hav ing a de f in i t i on and a subs id i a r y ind i ca t i on of the l e t t e r s . Most of these c o n s i s t of e i ther a round­about de f in i t i on or somet imes just a rounabout Ind icat ion of the let ters . T h i s makes s o l u t i o n cons ide rab l y more d f f i -cu l t , and i s aga ins t most modern c r o s s ­word prac t i ce .Howeve r the answers in general are common words and phrases , and as u s u a l , a l l the s o lu t i ons are to be found at the back of the book.

Tasairs J a c k L l e w e l l y n

Dramatic Society: The Sport of My Mad Mother by Ann Jellicoe.

H A V I N G S A M P L E D just the one per­formance of th is p lay , it i s tempting to cur t l y d i s m i s s It as a modernish ho t ch ­potch of hal f -baked story threads wh ich f a l l to c r y s t a l i s e into any th ing r esemb l ­ing enterta inment . But to do that would be to adopt a s u p e r f i c i a l and poss i b l y snobb ish mien, so let us peer c l o s e r at th i s de l ibe ra te l y unt rad i t i ona l kind of p lay .

The d i rec tor , Mark Frank, s ta tes in the program that the aud ience should ' 'have no preconceptions and )ust accept the sights and sounds according to how they entertain and perhaas enlighten you". No adv i c e is g i ven on just how one can d i spense wi th a l i f e t ime ' s preconcep­t ions in the amount of time g iven between reading the statement and the beg inning of p l ay . A s for the play i t s e l f , interest in the " p l o t " i s e s s e n t i a l l y p rec luded : i n ­terest has to focus on the d ia logue and the jux tapos i t i on of the charac t e r s .

Two teddy boys F a k and Cone c l e a r l y l i ve in fear of a r i v a l gang (who never appear) and exu l t in f ee l ings of v i o l e n c e . They are jo ined by an A m e r i ­c a n , Dean and a young g i r l , Dodo, and are dominated by the f ierce Greta .

They are inar t i cu la t e and express themse lves in d i s j o in t ed phrases , e x c l am­a t i ons and rhythmic quas i - i ncan ta t i ons wh i ch are emphas i sed by Steve, the com­mentator u s ing a se t of pe rcuss i on i n ­struments .

A s the two ' t e d s ' , Eric Stovell and Steve Randall come ac ro s s su i t ab l y d i l -d i sh a l though their s tances d id appear a l i t t l e s t ra ined at t imes . Kevin Austin provided a moral portrayal of Dean and Karen Willis d id a f ine job a s the path­e t i c Dodo w h i l s t Sfeve Grove ab ly breez­ed through the part of the indif ferent commentator.

A s Pa t ty , Moira Robinson c l e a r l y showed that she has a wea l th of ta lent wh i ch awa i t s the right d i rec tor to ex­plo i t i t . Her attempt to appear au fait wi th c igaret te smok ing was a gem .

However , the honours for th is produc­t ion must go to Penny Pyke who, as Greta , d i sp l a y ed a s tunning mastery of approach and de l i v e ry wh ich e l ec t r i f i ed the aud ience and put the rest of the ca s t to shame .

A t the end of the p lay , Greta g i ves birth to a c h i l d and is ev ident l y an emb­odiment of the H indu goddess , K a l i . The epigraph of the play apparent ly i s , " All creation is the sport of my Mad Mother, Kali" - profound symbo l i sm indeed.

In c o n c l u s i o n , let it be s a i d that th is product ion i s indeed an ambi t ious one. Dramsoc have managed to pu l l it off -jus t .

F E L I X 7

RCSU A N N U A L D I N N E R

P r i n c i p a l Gues t : G E R M A I N G R E E R

( A u t h o r o f T h e F e m a l e E u n u c h ' )

F r i d a y 2 n d M a y

7 p m for 7 .30pm

C o l l e g e B l o c k

T i cke t s £1.80 f r o m soc i a l representat ives and

R C S U Of f i c e .

HORRIBLE HIPPIES'

EUROPE Anyone in teres ted i n j o i n i n g L o n d o n U n i v e r s i t y Students for a U n i t e d Europe p l ease contac t P h i l i p J . l d e Chemis t ry 2.

ANNOUNCING The formation of I.C. Yoga Society Instruction

in Hatha Yoga Every Tuesday at 5.30pm In Physics Level 8 Com­mon Room

In order not to draw away the crowds from T w i c k e n h a m in the afternoon, th is in t e rna t i ona l match between I C l s t X V and a P a r i s U n i v e r s i t y k i c k e d off at the c rack of dawn namely 11.00am. I C l o s t the toss ( it i s hoped that more p rac t i c e w i l l correct th i s ) and the F r e n c h e l e c t ed to p lay aga ins t the w i n d . T h e f i rst twenty minutes was c l o s e l y c o n t e s t e d . A l though breaks were be ing made by the threequarters a l a ck of f i n i s h i n g depr ived IC from tak ing the l e a d .

The f i rs t IC try came from good maul b a l l ten yards from the F r e n c h l ine a l l o w i n g R. Hughes to h ive M.Cot ter a very easy t ry . A t th is stage it become obv ious that the e x c e l ­lent l i n e out jumping by M. Sharrat and K . L i b s c o m e toget­her w i th super ior mau l ing and n i c k i n g by I C wou ld tip the game in I C ' s favour.

However what became even more obv i ous was that M .Co ter i n the centre had no intent­i on o f p a s s i n g the b a l l for the rest of the game and to say he hogged the b a l l i s a vas t u n ­derstatement. A . W i l l i a m s scor ­ed next and T . F e a r n scored under the post after a b r i l l i a n t i n d i v i d u a l break from the base of a scrum on h a l f w a y . It was fortunate that Ter ry had not passed to M .Cotter as nobody would have seen the b a l l for

the rest of the movement. H a l f time Score IC 16 P a r i s

U n i v e r s i t y 0 . M.Cot ter one p a s s .

Up to now B . B r a d l e y u s i n g iron contro l had kept r e l a t i v e l y quiet but cou ld now longer remain s i l en t and managed to chop or make some comment on near ly every d e c i s i o n the referee made. J .Sw i f t had a couple of good runs down the w ing but th is was only p o s s ­ib l e by emp loy ing moves w h i c h m i s s e d out M C o t t e r .

The I C backs found i t e a s ­ier to cope w i th the w ind d i s ­advantage and after twenty-f ive minutes scored another try by T . F e a r n wh i ch B rad l e y f a i l ­ed to conver t . He even had some comment to make about th i s . In the l a s t ten minutes the b a l l found i t s way into M . Cot ters hands . M.Sergot h i s f e l l ow centre was so despar-ate at th is stage that he even offered to buy the b a l l from Co t t e r . However even hard

It has come to l ight that f o l l ow ing the defeat of Im­pe r i a l C o l l e g e by the H u l l U n ­i ve r s i t y on " U n i v e r s i t y C h a l ­l e n g e " two members of the H u l l team rece i ved a pos t ca rd (postmarked " F o l k s t o n e " ) from a lady who s i gns he r se l f " M B E ( M r s ) " .

T h e text of th i s pos t ca rd read " . - . W o u l d you two " g i r l s " get your damned ha i r cut , before y o u appear aga in on " U n i v e r s i t y C h a l l e n g e " .

Y o u are a couple of horr ib le h i p p i e s , l i k e most of your i l k you might have supposed bra ins but cer ta in ty no beauty . I must say how n i c e the L o n ­don Team looked ce r ta in l y a cred i t to the i r un i v e r s i t y w i th their short ha i r , s u i t s , c o l l a r s and t i e s . r m sure one of your team doesn ' t even p o s s e s s a s h i r t . . "

A genuine communicat ion? Or does someone here know something about th i s ?

F E L I X Photographic Competition

First Prize: £5 (Entry fees will be added to 1st, 2nd, and 3rd prizes.)

Rules: 1. The competition is open to all student and staff mem­bers of Imperial College. 2. The category is "Open Transparencies" (35mm or 2V4 sq.) 3. The entry fee (Per 5 transparencies entered) will be 25p ( 20p for Photsoc members). 4. All entries must have: bottom left corner of the view­ing side marked; and the entrant's name and college • address on each transparency. 5. FELIX reserves the right to publish any of the ent­ries. 6. CLOSING D A T E FOR ENTRIES IS FRIDAY, MAY 2nd, 1975. Entries and enquiries to FELIX office or R.S. Newmann, Mech. Eng. 3.

The competition will be adjudicated by a Central Agency judge.

FENCING CLUB There were no deaths i n

F e n c i n g c l u b th is term. In fact i t has not been a remarkable term for I C f enc ing , merely a good one . Our ach ievements can be ca tagor i s ed into three ca tagor i es : de feats , v i c t o r i e s , and massacres (we do ing the m a s s a c r i n g rather than rece i v ­ing i t ) .

De fea ts , d i sp i t e R i c h a r d s

ca sh c o u l d not p r i s e the b a l l from Cot te rs " a r a l l d i t e " grasp later created an over lap for R . C r o s s w e l l on the w ing but then dec ided to beat the F r e n c h fu l lback by an outs ide break thus comple te ly i gnor ing C r o s ­s w e l l . It was c e r t a in l y not C r o s s w e l l ' s day when the re­feree then went on to d i s a l l o w a comple te ly good try by h im , w h i c h d id not i nvo l v e M.Cot te r .

B y the l aw of averages M . Cot te r eventua l l y scored i n the l as t f ive minutes to give a f ina l s c o r e .

IC 24 P a r i s U n i v e r s i t y 0 . M.Cot ter three p a s s e s w h i c h B rad l e y then commented o n . Team: A.Williams, J.Swift, M.Sergot, M. Cotter, D.Cress-well, R.Hughes, T.Fearn, G. Wrigley, R Austin, D.Hart, K. Lipscombe, M.Sharrat, P.Rob­ins, B.Bradley, J.Smith.

mathamat ica l a b i l i t y , d i d not prove to be a n u l l set . There was the match aga ins t l ey ton wh i ch was l o s t 5-4 due to a bout P r e s i d en t who, to quote our cap ta in " d i d n ' t know h i s repost from h i s s t o p - h i t " . A n d the match aga ins t Emany where J u l i a n had a once - in -a -decade off day. (Emany i s h i s home team).

V i c t o r i e s i n c l u d e d S o b e l l e . Mov ing on to the most inter­

e s t ing catagory - M a s s a c r a s . E a l i n g F a n c i n g c l u b went down 8-1 thanks to the supurb f enc ing of J u l i a n , R i c h a r d and L a w r e n c e . L a t i s t a F e n c i n g c lub were w e l l beaten 12-4, the afore ment ioned trio w i n ­n ing a l l their matchs wh i l e a rather unsober K e v i n L a n t o n had d i f f i cu l t y s tand ing and d i d w e l l to lose a l l h i s matchs .

S o c i a l l i f e was con f ined to an at tendance at the A C C D i n ­ner - by some peop l e , that i s . The demise o f the F r i d a y n ight s o c i a l f enc ing , due ma in l y to a rumour about impending f i n ­a l exams c i r c u l a t i n g amongst the th i rd year members, i s to be dep lored (and we hope re­medied .)

F i n a l n o t e Contary to pop­ular expec ta t i on Steve Thomp­son and C h r i s Murry d i d not exchange va l en t ine c a r d s .

F E L I X S P O R T

S O C C E R With the s eason drawing to

a c l o s e IC F o o t b a l l C l u b can look back with some sa t i s f a c ­t ion on a year of moderate suc ­c e s s . Fo r the second consec ­ut ive s eason no trophies were c o l l e c t ed by any of the teams but the 2nd X I reached the f in ­a l of the reserves cup only to be beaten 2-0 by U C I I ' s , and the f i rs t X I were runners up in the premier d i v i s i o n to R o y a l H o l l o w a y . In sp i t e of th is sad l a ck of glory the standard of f i rst team footba l l in p a r t i c u l ­ar has been very h igh and to come second in a league wh ich i s more compet i t i ve now than i t has been for a long time i s a fine ach ievement in i t s e l f .

The second X I a l s o on their day were an outs tand ing s i d e . T h i s they proved l a s t F e b ­ruary when they ann i lu l a t ed the eventua l league and cup winners U C I P s 3-0. It i s un­fortunate that they took such a long time to f ind a se t t l ed team and by the time they had the league t i t l e was a lready out of their g rasp .

A s for the lower teams the season was most d i s s a p p o i n t -Tng i n terms of games won .

The th i rd X I p lagued by injury started w e l l and even defeated the second team in a league, match , but a ce r ta in amount of apathy combined wi th in jur i es and the e l im ina t i on of their cap ta in Roger Hunter put p a i d to their chances of any league or cup s u c c e s s . K e n C o w a n ' s 4th team bat t led brave ly throu­ghout the season and a l though they won only a handful of games the standard of p lay was again fa i r l y good. Too often, however, the team was let down by a l a c k of f i t n e s s , something i t i s hoped that w i l l be remedied next s eason . The f i f ths had a good season and what they l a c k e d of f i t ness , something it i s hoped that w i l l be remedied next s eason . The fi fths had a good season and what they l a cked in s k i l l they made up for with en thus iasm wh i ch was borne out by them reach ing the semi f ina l s of the lower reserves c u p . The s i x t h s had an abysma l year and w i l l be re legated . Neve r the l e ss a l l c red i t must be g iven to those lads who turned out week after week to suffer some heavy de f ea t s .

Clean Sweep For IC Water Polo

- IC I and I C II have swept the board i n the U L U winter water polo l eague , the f i rst team re ta in ing their t i t l e (of the I st d i v i ­s ion) and the second team making a dramatic r i s e from bottom of the second d i v i s i o n to the top .

IC Is ts had very l i t t l e oppos i ­t i on , except a strong L o n d o n team aga ins t whom we los t one and won one . The s u c c e s s of the team i s due to the strength of the forwards L e w i s , H i n d l e , F r e e z e , and Smith (a l l in the U L U f i rs t team as we l l ) , the two strong b a c k s T a y l o r and Lowther , and a b r i l l i a n t d i s ­p lay of goa l keep ing by I l i c -a l s o i n die f i r s t t e am.

The second team had a fu l l e l even p lus e x t r a s . Spec i a l c red i t must be g i ven to s p i r i t ­ed performances by Vaughan , Phaedon , and M .Sa id , the top scorer in the whole o f the U L U league .

The s u c c e s s o f this y ea r ' s

second team re f l ec t s on the strength in the c l u b and i t i s hoped that many second team members w i l l move up to the f i rs t team next year .

F i n a l l y s p e c i a l mention must be made to our in terna­t i ona l coach and trainer, C . Spooner, wi thout whose v a l ­uable a s s i s t a n c e the teamwork and s k i l l of p lay would be so l im i t ed . Ist team: D.llic, P Hindle, P.Frieze, A.Smith, M.Taylor, R.Lewis, D.Lowther. 2nd team: 1.Bales, Angelos, l.Paterson, D.Mulroney, Lim, R.Tohiacheusky, W.Gunardine, M.Said, C.Beavan, T.Vaughan, R.Simitovic, A.Slight.

P W D L F A P t s i a 8 7 0 1 47 14 14 L O N D O N I 8 5 2 1 42 20 12 M A R Y S I 8 8 2 3 20 34 8

I C II 10 6 1 3 22 13 13 M A R Y S II 10 6 1 3 15 13 13 W E S T M I N S T E R 10 4 2 4 16 12 10

10 lb

10

lb u

L a s t Wednesday, the annual 3mile race was h e l d at the West London S t a d i u m . The race was run over 5000m - the metric equ i ­va lent of 3 m i l e s on a we l l beaten-tartan t r a c k . The back stra ight of the track had a c o l d w ind b l ow ing stra ight i n the runners faces , and the ha l f i n ch of water on some parts of the lower bend

d i d not he lp them e i ther . The race started promptly

at two-thir ty , w i th Trac tor Houlbrooke somewhat in jured by ea r l i e r road re lays t ak ing the t i m e s . A f ter the f irst l ap , Dave Jones had pu l l ed out a formidable l ead , wh ich was s l ow l y wh i t t l ed away by P a u l , Rob and Hank . A f t e r the fourth lap a d i s t i n c t f ee l ing od de ja vu had crept into the team and the boredom of running round a f la t c i r c l e became apparent.

The c race , and i t s cup , was won by Rob A l l i n s o n in 15-32 w i th Hank Marv in com­ing i n s econd , w e l l ahead o f P a u l C l a r k e .

The Ba r R a c e was won , for the third year running by our B a r star , P a d Donne l l y i n a record time of 51.0 s econds , th is year, however, he was g iven a run for h i s money by our res ident three man l i f t ex­pert Bob Ignaciuk who sup-r i s ed everyone by record ing a time of 57.6 s e e s .

L a s t Saturday, the IC team met the o l d r i v a l s or the O l d Imperia l Co l l e g e C r o s s - C o u n -try T e a m . The start was de­layed by lack of transport from IC to R i chmond Pa rk and even when the extras caught a bus , they fa i l ed to get off i t at the right s t o p . T h e course round R i chmond Pa rk fe l t as i f i t had been r a in ing for years c o n t i n u o u s l y . Why e l se wou ld sandy t racks turn into q u a s i -swamps? Anyway l ess of th i s se l f -p i ty and on with the r a c e -Barry Dabrowsk i won i t , w i th Ro b A l l i n s o n in second p l ace and Dave Houlbrooke and P a d Donne l l y ran persona l wors ts of 47.39 round a 5'4 mi le c ourse . The young Imperial C o l l e g e team just beat the O l d I C ' s by a mere three po in t s . We hope to improve th is score -l ine next year to the thrash ing the O l d I C ' s dese rve .

B y running in both these r aces , and many more, M ike Welford won the Pe te rsham Po t , just beat ing seven or eight people by on ly one match .

PS. Mr Ellis has been getting advice from Mr Payne on iridiology.

Bedford Head

The Bedford H e a d of the Great Ouse race to give i t i t ' s fu l l t i t l e was he ld on Saturday the 8 t h . The course was short for a head race (2067 m to be

prec ise ) and the t imes were fast due to the fast stream. The p r o c e s s ing of the t imes was done by computer to give the r esu l t s as q u i c k l y as pos ­s i b l e wh i ch was f ine except for the s l i gh t d e t a i l that i t got them wrong. A c c o r d i n g to the computer St Ives R o w i n g C l u b came f i rs t , pretty good going s ince they h i t the bank dur ing the race . I t a l s o put Ocwridle Schoo l 3rdVIII in th ird p lace wh i ch was only 14 p l a c e s ahead of their I s tV I I I ! S ince i t was imposs ib l e to overtake dur ing the f i r s t ha l f of the course the 1st VIII dec ided to start w i th a large gap between us and the crew in front (Chur­c h i l l C o l l e g e Cambr idge ) . By the end of the race we had caught up by about s i x lengths, however the f i n a l r esu l t s put us on ly s i x seconds ahead wh i ch imp l i e s that we were t r ave l l i ng at over 40mph! Off­i c i a l l y the r esu l t s were as f o l l ows : - l s t VIII 6th (more l i k e l y 3rd or 4th), 2nd VIII 34th, N o v i c e VIII 59th, L a d i e s 73rd.

Kingston Head

T h i s took p l a c e on Satur­day 15 th . T h i s time the course was much longer (about 4 m i l e s ) . A g a i n the cond i t i ons and t imes were very fast due to a weeks ra in , in fact the • current was so fast that the f in i sh had to be moved 300 m upstream to avo id exhausted crews d i sappear ing over T e d -dington Weir . Desp i t e be ing a bit unt idy the l s t VIII had a good row, ove r tak ing three crews before the f i n i sh and coming in wi th the seventh fastest t ime, b eh ind , I r is (Ox­ford II), U L I , Poplar B l a c k -w a l l R C I , Thames Tradesmen, K ings ton R C I and Bedford R C I . S ince K i n g s t o n were late for the start they were g iven a ten second penal ty and we moved up to 6th p l a c e .

The second VIII were un­able to row because an axe l broke on one of the i r seats on the way up to the s tar t .

Our next event i s the T i d e ­way Head of the R i v e r R a c e wh i ch takes p l ace th is Satur­day a f ternoon. With over 200 e ights rac ing from Mort lake to Putney i t i s qu i te a spec tac ­u lar s i ght . If you are s t i l l around your support would be w e l c o m e d .