who is bill darney
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WHO IS BILL DARNEY?
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(and, what the heck happened to him in Newport!)
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BILL DARNEY’S TALE IS A SORDID ONE….
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WHEN HE FIRST CAME TO NEWPORT, HE WAS PROFESSIONALLY CONFUSED
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QUESTIONING HIS CAREER, HE DECIDED TO TRY OTHER THINGS…
A
t first his exploits were rather harmless …
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GALLEY BOY
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HOOK & LADDER MAN
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CHECK OUT CLERK
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BUT, THINGS BEGAN TO TURN DARK…
T
he XO (as he was often known) knew he had more to
offer the Navy …
but he felt confined in his shell as a Commander ….
S
o, He began imagining himself in higher places.
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HE SNUCK INTO PLACES HE SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN…
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HE IMAGINED HIMSELF AT THE HELM AT OTCN…
… he figured the commute would “rock” since he slept
in the building
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HE EVEN ATTEMPTED TO
ENTER THE“INNER” SANCTUM
OF THE PRESTIGIOUS NAVAL
WAR COLLEGE
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Although it was uncertain what he intended to do if they let him
in….
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HE OFTEN HARBORED ILLUSIONS OF A LIFE IN POLITICS ..
(BECAUSE, HE IS too short to play basketball)
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KNOWING DOORS WOULD REMAIN CLOSED TO HIM UNLESS HE TOOK
MATTERS INTO HISOWN HANDS ...
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HE TURNED TO PRAYER…
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THAT DIDN’T WORK, SO HE BEGAN AN EXERCISE REGIME
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FAILING AT FITNESS, HE TURNED TO ALCOHOL
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DESPERATE, HE SOUGHT COMFORT FROM A BEAUTIFUL BLONDE
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THAT LANDED HIS @&& IN THE BRIG…
Poor Bill Darney….Poor Bill Darney….
In his drunken In his drunken stupor he did not stupor he did not realize it was the realize it was the
CO’s wifeCO’s wife
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But the fabled Ribbon Cutter
CO is a forgiving man
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HE KNEW BILL HAD IT IN HIM TO FIND REDEMPTION….
((
Capt. Dunn did, however, remember the Capt. Dunn did, however, remember the
“kiss” and decided that the confused XO “kiss” and decided that the confused XO
should not get off too lightly. should not get off too lightly.
He arranged for some professional He arranged for some professional
development.development.
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The XO has been reformed. He is all set
now.
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HE IS NO LONGERIMPERSONATING SENIOR OFFICERS
And, he generally is And, he generally is getting on very well with getting on very well with
all of his colleagues all of his colleagues around the base ….around the base ….
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AND MADE NEW FRIENDS
Even Sophia Even Sophia recognized recognized
the changes!the changes!
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NOW HE’S OFF THE BOTTLE, OUT OF QUARTERS “EYE” AND BACK TO WORK
HH
e’s even focused on his job. e’s even focused on his job.
Here is he is in front of the Here is he is in front of the
building he takes credit for building he takes credit for
building ...building ...
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WE’LL MISS YOU XO!
BB
e safe. Thank you for the kindness e safe. Thank you for the kindness
you’ve shown us all, the laughter, you’ve shown us all, the laughter,
your friendship and all of your help. your friendship and all of your help.
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YOU’RE THE ICING ON THE CAKE!
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NO ANIMALS OR SAILORS WERE INJURED IN THE MAKING OF THIS PRESENTATION