x-ray listening: clean language section for nlp master practitioner course
DESCRIPTION
By Judy Rees, delivered Ecclefechan Sept 2013TRANSCRIPT
X-Ray ListeningJudy Rees
Judy Rees•Passionate about connecting minds
and bodies via metaphor, to catalyse change
•Co-author of Clean Language: Revealing Metaphors and Opening Minds
•International coach and trainer
Asking About Metaphor
•When you are listening at your best, you are like... what? (Starter question only)
•What kind of X (is that X)?•Is there anything else about X?
What did you notice?
Listening Benefits•Brings you clarity about what people mean
•Reduces misunderstandings and conflict
•Helps listenees to think precisely•Builds rapport and trust•Conceals your ignorance!
Are You Listening?1.Listen2.Be distracted3.ListenNotice what happens!
What Makes A Good Listener?
Your suggestions
Deeper Listening?1.Person A talks about
something important to them2.Person B listens without
speaking (can smile and nod)Notice what happens!
What Happened?• When you were being listened
to?• When you were the listener?• To the relationship between
you?
Parrot Phrasing
Parrot Phrasing1.Person A talks about something important to them
2.Person B encourages them by repeating selected words and phrases
3.Person C listens for metaphors and makes some notes for later
A waitress increased her tips by 70% simply by repeating the
customer’s order back to them in their own words, rather than
saying “okay” or “coming right up”
University of Nijmegen, 2005
Metaphor
MetaphorThought is made of
metaphor - the native language of the
unconscious mind
MetaphorDescribes one kind of
thing in terms of another kind of thing
Surfaces And
EssencesDouglas Hofstadter and
Emmanuel Sander
Metaphors In Mind•Categorising•Creating•Interpreting•Deciding •Learning
Coins Activity
•Take a handful of coins•Arrange them to represent either: •you and your family, or •you and your colleagues
Metaphor In Language
•Six metaphors per minute•Side-effect of metaphoric thought•Can be used to connect with the
unconscious mind
Metaphor in Thought
•Change in metaphor in language can lead to change in thought
•Change in metaphor in thought “rearranges neurology” - everything changes
The Mind
David Grove’sClean
Language
Precision toolkit for working with
metaphor in thought
Noticing Metaphors
Natural Metaphors•Cliches and proverbs•Common metaphors - eg. journey,
game, space, force•“It’s like...” is stated or implied
Directing attention with questions
Clean Language Questions•Precision tools for working with
people’s thoughts and directing attention
•Designed to minimise content input
•Include as few presuppositions and metaphors as possible
•Use only the given question, with one or more of the person’s own words
•“And when...” with a parrot-phrase is used as a connector
Clean Language Questions
David Grove
1950 - 2008
Clean Language•Created by David Grove for therapy•Modelled/codified by Penny Tompkins
and James Lawley•Now ideas applied in multiple contexts
- management, coaching, marketing etc
•Increasingly supported by academic research
“Constraint inspires creativity”
What happens when you are asked
a question?
The art of directing attention
The 2 Lazy Jedi Questions
2 Lazy Jedi Qs: Uses
•Finding out more about anything!
2 Lazy Jedi Questions
•What kind of X (is that X)?•Is there anything else about X?
Words Are Personal
•Think of a flower•What kind of flower is your flower?
Using The 2 LJQs•What’s one of the goals you have in
life? (Starter only)•What kind of X (is that X)?•Is there anything else about X?
What did you notice?
The Dark Side Of Metaphor
Discovering A Metaphor•Listen for, and notice, natural
metaphors•Or ask: “And that’s... like... what?”•Ask very slowly, with long pauses
•Metaphors are personal•Ask Clean Language questions - the
details are always different
Handling The Dark Side•Notice - is this a metaphor for a
problem or an outcome?•If it’s a problem, take care! Either:•Use Power Switch immediately or•Ask up to two LJQs before asking
for a metaphor, then use the Power Switch
Exploring A Metaphor•Start with “What would you like to
have happen?”•Explore that outcome with Clean
Language questions•Listen for, and explore, metaphors •If drifting into problem, use Power
Switch
The Power Switch
•And when <problem>, what would you like to have happen?
The Power SwitchUses•Changing focus from negative to
positive•Changing mood/state •Unsticking•Persuasion, influence, sales•Conflict resolution
Power Switch Practice
•Start by stating a minor problem •“And when <problem>, what
would you like to have happen?”
Power Switch Practice
•This time, start with a metaphor for a minor problem
•And <problem> is like... what?>
Practice•Person A talks about
something/someone they love (or a metaphor for that)
•What kind of X?•Is there anything else about X?•“And when <problem>, what
would you like to have happen?”
Feeling to Metaphor•Person A mentions a feeling
•What kind of X?•Is there anything else about X?•Where/whereabouts is X?•And that’s like... what?
Unlocking The Emotional Brain
Bruce Ecker, Robin Ticic, Laurel Hulley
Coaching With Clean
•Get a “towards” outcome•Get a metaphor for that outcome•Develop the metaphor until chimes•No fixing! Elicitation is the
intervention
Coaching With Clean•What would you like to have
happen (as a result of this module)?•What kind of X?•Is there anything else about X?•Where/whereabouts is X?•And that’s like... what?
Necessary Conditions
•What needs to happen for X?•Conditions are often “nested”
When you are working at your
best, you are like what?
Starts 3 Octoberhttp://bit.ly/181xxx
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Judy Rees www.xraylistening.com - blog
www.learncleanlanguage.com - resources
www.judyrees.co.uk - coaching
Tom Petershttp://youtu.be/D7r
Fhf7G84U
James Gearyhttp://youtu.be/2c
U56SWXHFw
Caitlin Walkerhttp://youtu.be/aV
vcU5gG4KU