you are not alone! knowing resources and building supports ed dunkelblau october 2012
TRANSCRIPT
You are not alone!Knowing Resources and
Building Supports
Ed DunkelblauOctober 2012
Purpose of a Pre Deployment Plan• Reduce Stress!!• Helps us maintain focus• Makes the transition easier• Develop new routines• Help the children through the change
Peace of Mind!!!!!
Family Resilience (Diane Milne)
• Adaptability—being able to cope with different types of stress
• Appreciation—doing positive things for one another
• Clear roles—understanding roles and responsibilities in the family and being flexible
• Commitment—recognizing each other’s worth and being committed to the family system
• Communication—being open and honest with each other and willing to listen to the views of others, being able to manage conflict in a positive way
• Community ties—being involved and connected to the community
When your struggling…. Take a “P”
PeopleProblem solvingPositivity
People
• Reach out to trusted friends• Look to family• Keep in touch
Get to know your friends
Find Family
Problem Solving
Things will go wrong
Asking for help
• Often seen as weakness• Hard to reach out• Afraid there will be no help• Fear judgment or embarrassment
Sometimes its necessary to get some support
Coast Guard Employee Assistance Program
: 1-800-222-0364
WorkLife4You Resource and Referral Service
: 1-800-222-0364
Communications• Technology Deployment
Communications Plan– Is the computer ready (WebCam,
programs etc…)?– Unit Communications (Phone Tree, News
Letters, Face Book, etc…)• Method and schedule:
– Time difference– Schedule for the SM, family and children– Who, when and frequency– Duration
Support Systems• Who will fix the house, cars,
appliances, yard work and the rest?• Who will give me a break (baby
sitting etc…)?• Who do I turn to?
– Emotional support (Friend, family, church, etc)
– Where do I get moral support?– Professional?
• What family supports are available?
How You Say Good Bye• What is the plan?
– When and how will we say good bye to?• Co workers• Faith community• Neighbors• Friends• Close friends• Family• Spouse and children
Other Considerations• Physical:
– When can I workout, walk, run, whatever• Disciplining of the children• Tricare, are we signed up and who are our
providers• What about the Kids?• Who supports me? (Parents and Designated
Representatives)• What about the Ex?• Have you informed your Employer (ESGR)?
Coping• How am I going to handle stress?
• What do I do to take care of me?
Secrets of Success
• Passion• Work hard• Be good at it• Focus• Serve something of value• Persistence• Choose your attitude - …….Positivity
Positivity
Being Positive• Improve our ability to handle difficulties
• Improve performance• Improve decision making• Keep us healthier
Perpetual optimism is a force multiplier. General Colin Powell
Both optimists and pessimists contribute to the society. The
optimist invents the airplane, the pessimist the parachute.
George Bernard Shaw
Maintaining positivity• Recognize that attitude is a choice
• Find positive colleagues• Preserve a positive memory and go to it when necessary
• Focus on humor
Negativity• More likely to fail• Leads to or maintains depression• Harder to see alternatives• Bad for your health• Sucks energy from others and self
What Causes Negativity
•Criticism
•Rejection
•A**holes
•Pressure
USCG Spouse Handbook
• http://www.uscg.mil/worklife/docs/pdf/spousehandbook.pdf
USCG Employee Assistance
• http://www.uscg.mil/worklife/employee_assistance.asp
Coast Guard Employee Assistance Program
: 1-800-222-0364 WorkLife4You Resource and Referral Service
: 1-800-222-0364
Discuss• One way that you remain positive in the face of adversity.
Family Systems Explained