you can create awful presentations with apple keynote
TRANSCRIPT
Slide Anti-PatternsAnd I published this from Apple Keynote
1Sunday 5 September 2010
I saw a pig onceI was just a young boy when my family took me to the county fair. At the county fair, there were all manner of animals, including cows, horses, sheep, and goats. As we wandered through the smelly barns, examining the prize animals of the local farmers, we came upon on building that smelled far worse than any other. Holding our noses, we wandered inside. Stalls stretched far ahead on either side, and as we neared the first, we heard grunting and snorting. Sure enough, inside the stall was a pig! She was huge! Pink with black spots, large floppy ears, and a curly little tail, this pig looked right out of the story books; the really, really BIG story books! That sure was a pig I won’t forget!
2Sunday 5 September 2010
Elements of ChemistrySodiumCalcium
VanadiumChromeRadiumXenonSeleniumLeadNiobium
IridiumMagnesiumLithiumHeliumMercury
TitaniumHydrogen
PotassiumTungstenIronBeryllium
3Sunday 5 September 2010
African GDP Trends
4Sunday 5 September 2010
Who Killed Kennedy
• CIA• Lyndon B Johnson• KGB• Space Lizards
5Sunday 5 September 2010
Knowable ThingsThings I Know Things I Don't
KnowThings I Wish I Knew
Things I'm Glad I Don't Know
Protons and neutrons weigh the same amount
What Paulo ate for dinner Hindi - at least enough to wittily insult the rickshaw drivers when they cheat me.
What hot dogs are made of
Some adults love stuffed animals Why trucks say "horn ok please" instead of something that makes sense
Mandarin What Sudhindra does on weekends
If you microwave an egg, it explodes Why fire is fun to play with How to cook What happens in the third Matrix movie
There is such a thing as too much pizza
The difference is between Pokemon and DragonballZ
Any martial art, although I’m partial to kung-fu and kali
George W Bush
Monkeys are evil How old the Queen is The schedule for power and water outages
What dogs think about me
The Lyrics to House of Pain’s “Jump Around”
How Gravity’s Rainbow ends How Gravity’s Rainbow ends What Britney spears thinks about anything
Meta-programming in Ruby Functional programming in a language like Erlang
How to play classical piano, especially Bach’s fugues
How cold it is in Antartica right now
How to chrome plate a bumper using a bright nickel solution
The solution to the mind-body problem, and what the whole debate has to do with zombies
Eva Mendes’s phone number How Robin Hood, Men in Tights ends
New trainers are 20% faster before they get dirty
Why people spend hours working at a World of Warcraft job that’s even more boring than their job in real life
What they do with all the leftover soap at hotels
What it feels like to be eaten by a bear. One that uses silverware and table manners to impress his peers.
Raisins are a scam by wine makers to pass off their failed grapes on the consumer
How many people on airplanes *really* need to be shown how to use a seatbelt
If it’s okay for guys to eat chick peas Who would win in a fight between a tiger with a 180 IQ and an elephant with a shark strapped to his back
6Sunday 5 September 2010
Modern Ideas in Production
• Assembly Line• Child Labor• Unskilled Labor• Interchangeable Parts• 80-hour Work Week
12/12/1908
7Sunday 5 September 2010
Junit 3 vs. Junit 4
• Annotations• @Test• @Before & @After• @BeforeClass &
@AfterClass• Exceptions• Timeouts
8Sunday 5 September 2010
Reasons to Hate George Lucas
• Ewoks is just midgets in bear suits• Jar jar Binks is a streotyep of jamacians• if r2d2 had rockets why didnt he use them in
the first 3 movies which were really after the last 3
• If the Force is a mystical religion what does miticholrians matter and where did they come from and how come we didn’t hear about them until the Phantom Menace
9Sunday 5 September 2010
Signs of the Monkey Apocalypse
• Clapping, screeching chimp toy• Animatronic Chimpanzee• Monkey murder of the deputy mayor of
New Delhi• Monkeys wired to control robot bodies
with their brains
10Sunday 5 September 2010
What I Like About Ice Cream
• I really like Ice Cream. It’s cold, which makes it the perfect treat for a hot day. It’s sweet, which means it satisfies my sweet tooth, and finally it’s flavorful, which satisfies my need for variety.
• Yes, Ice Cream is something I love to eat not just for dessert, but any time of day. Even for breakfast!
11Sunday 5 September 2010