122 the switch glitch

The Fairly OddParents

“The Switch Glitch”

(AN 11 MINUTE SCRIPT)#122

Written By:Jenny Nissenson

First Draft:2/5/01Second Draft:2/13/01Third Draft:2/16/01Final Draft:2/22/01

Nickelodeon Animation Studiosc 2000 Viacom International Inc. All rights reserved

The Fairly OddParents: “The Switch Glitch” by Jenny Nissenson Recording Script 6/14/01

FADE IN:

EXT. THE TURNER HOUSE (ESTABLISHING SHOT) - 8:00 AM

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - SAME TIME

TIMMY sleeps the sleep of the just. The ALARM rings.

1 TIMMYIt’s Saturday!

Timmy runs to the fishbowl in his PJs as COSMO and WANDA, also in PAJAMAS, swim out of the castle as FISH.

2 TIMMY You guys know what Saturday means!

POOF! Cosmo and Wanda pop into fairy form.

3 COSMOCartoons!

4 WANDAOutdoor activities, like gardening and bird watching! (off Timmy’s glare; dryly) Or cartoons.

Through the WINDOW, we see VICKY approaching.

5 COSMO(Totally into the moment) Or Vicky! Wait. That’s not a good thing.(now terrified) Or Vicky!

6 TIMMYOn the weekend? No!!!

Timmy bolts out of the room and we...

CUT TO:

INT. THE LIVING ROOM - SECONDS LATER

Timmy pleads with MOM AND DAD, who are preparing to leave.

7 DADNow, Timmy. You know you can’t come with us to the Annual, Mother, Father No-Kids-Allowed Cook Out!

1


8 TIMMY But it’s Saturday! Satur-DAY! We have a deal --

Timmy pulls out a notarized CONTRACT.

9 TIMMYIt says here quite clearly, and I quote, “Timmy will not need a baby sitter on the weekends.”

10 DADWell, you’re right, Son. This is a legal document. A really nice legal document!

Mom takes a out a FISH and wraps it with the contract.

11 MOMAnd now it’s fish wrap. Really nice fish wrap!

ON MOM, DAD, TIMMY AND VICKY as she enters.

12 MOMDon’t feel bad, Sweetie. It’s just one Saturday. You’ll have a lot more fun here with Vicky!

13 TIMMYHow do you know?

LONG BEAT.

14 MOM AND DADWell... BYE!

15 VICKYBye, Mr. and Mrs. Turner!

Mom and Dad exit. The door shuts. Timmy looks worried.

16 VICKYDon’t worry, Twerpy! You’re in for a great day! I brought all kinds of fun things for us to do together.

17 TIMMYReally?

18 VICKYNope!

Vicky whips out a gigantic STEAMER TRUNK, opens it and starts throwing STUFF at Timmy. He stares blankly and angrily as the items bounce off his chest.

2


19 VICKYThese are my SHOES that need to be shined. These are my CLOTHES that need to be washed. This is my HOMEWORK that

20 VICKY (CONT.)needs to be done. And this is my butt, which will be in that chair while I watch you do it all!

21 TIMMYAnd if I refuse?

22 VICKYThen I let your parents listen to this recording I made of you!

Vicky pulls out a handheld TAPE RECORDER and hits play.

23 RECORDED TIMMY VOICE (VO)Hi! I’m Timmy Turner and I...

24 A DEEP MALE VOICE (VO)...cheated on my math test!

25 TIMMYThat’s not me! I never cheated on my math test!

Vicky pulls out ANOTHER TAPE RECORDER, on which she has just recorded Timmy’s dialogue. She plays them in order.

26 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER#1 (VO)Hi! I’m Timmy Turner and I...

27 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER#2 (VO)...cheated on my math test!

Timmy sinks.

28 TIMMYI’ll get to work.

29 VICKYWait.

Vicky switfly dresses Timmy in an APRON and ties a BANDANA around his head.

30 TIMMYI’m not doing chores in a dress!

Vicky hits play on both recorders.

3


31 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER #1 (VO)Hi I’m Timmy Turner and...

32 TIMMY VOICE ON RECORDER #2 (VO)...I’m in a dress!

Timmy sighs and sulks OS as we...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. THE TURNER GARAGE - 10:30 AM

Timmy, now in his housekeeper outfit, scrubs Vicky’s clothes on an old-fashioned WASHBOARD. Cosmo and Wanda float nearby. disguised as SOAP BUBBLES.

33 TIMMYI can’t believe this! Every time Vicky comes over, she ruins my day!

34 COSMOAw, Timmy, it could be worse...

The Cosmo bubble pops. The Wanda bubble floats up.

35 WANDA... She could be publicly humiliating you!

Vicky enters and opens the WINDOW SHADE, revealing a group of BOYS and GIRLS all staring at Timmy. They burst into LAUGHTER and SNAP PHOTOS.

36 BOYS/GIRLSWAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAH!!!

Timmy fumes as we...

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - LATER

Timmy sits on his bed, head buried in his hands. Cosmo and Wanda are in the fishbowl.

37 TIMMYOh, man! I’m so embarrassed...

38 COSMOAw, Timmy. At least nobody can see you up here on the second floor, right?

4


BOING! The pack of kids, as a group, bounce up into his window, take a series of snapshots, then fall OS.

CUT TO:

OUTSIDE THE WINDOW

The kids, as a group, bounce on a TRAMPOLINE up to the window to take photos. Vicky stands before a huge LINE OF KIDS, holding a “See the boy in the dress” sign.

39 VICKYSee the boy in the dress! Five bucks!

CUT TO:

INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - SAME TIME

SFX: BOING! The kids can be seen in the window yet again. They fall OS.

40 TIMMYI wish the trampoline was gone.

The wands are waved. Poof! SFX: CRASH!

41 KIDS (OS)AGH!!!

42 TIMMYI hate being babysat by Vicky! She can do anything she wants to me and I can’t stop her!

43 WANDAWell, Kiddo... that’s kind of what the babysitter gets to do!

44 TIMMYYeah! And if I was the babysitter, she’d have to listen to me, right?

45 COSMOI know where this is going!

POOF! Cosmo’s in a “Carmen Miranda’ outfit, fruit basket HAT, Spanish SKIRT, the works.

46 TIMMYYeah! I wish I could be Vicky’s babysitter!

47 COSMO

5


Ay caramba! I’m never gonna get to be in the show!

Cosmo and Wanda raise their wands and POOF!

CUT TO:

INT. TIMMY’S LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME

Vicky, wad of cash in one hand, tape recorder in the other, dictates a message.

48 VICKYNote to self: Torturing twerp continues to bear no feelings of remorse. Good. (beat; something’s happening) Huh?

POOF! Vicky magically shrinks from the 16 year old wench that she is, down to a FIVE YEAR OLD GIRL. The tape recorder drops to the ground and bounces away.

49 LITTLE VICKYHey! Wha’ happened?

Vicky goes to grab the tape recorder, looks up and sees Timmy (still his own age) towering over her.

50 LITTLE VICKYWho are you? And where am I? Everything looks bigger.

51 TIMMYHi, Vicky! You’re five! And I’m your ten-year-old baby-sitter, Timmy! You’re in for a great day!

52 LITTLE VICKYReally?

53 TIMMYNope. Welcome to the corner of Pay and Back.

Timmy smiles, and holds up a PLUNGER.

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. TIMMY’S YARD - MOMENTS LATER

Five year old Vicky is trying and failing to cut the lawn with the toilet plunger. Timmy sips a glass of ICED TEA in a LOUNGE CHAIR, with Cosmo and Wanda in the fishbowl.

6


54 LITTLE VICKYI can’t cut the grass with just a plunger!

55 TIMMYYou’re right, Twerpette. My bad.

Timmy hands her a MOP.

56 TIMMYKnock yourself out.

57 LITTLE VICKYBut...

58 TIMMYAHP! We wouldn’t want your Mommy to hear this, would we?

Timmy pulls out the TAPE RECORDER.

59 RECORDED LITTLE VICKY (VO)Hi, I’m Vicky! And I...

60 DEEP MALE VOICE (VO)...stole from my Mom’s purse!

61 LITTLE VICKYI never stole from my mom’s purse!

Timmy pulls out a SECOND TAPE RECORDER and plays both.

62 LITTLE VICKY ON RECORDER #1 (VO)Hi, I’m Vicky and I...

63 LITTLE VICKY ON RECORDER #2 (VO)...stole from my mom’s purse!

Vicky fumes and storms OS.

64 TIMMYThis is great! Fear the power of the new baby sitter! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

65 WANDAYa know, Honey, being mean shouldn’t make you that happy...

66 TIMMYMaybe you’re right, Wanda.

67 WANDAReally?

7


68 TIMMYNope! I’m gonna give Vicky the most miserable day of her life. So declares Evil Babysitter Timmy!

DISSOLVE TO:

MONTAGE: Timmy puts Vicky through the worst day of her life. A “super happy” tune (ala “The Brady Kids’ Sunshine Day”) plays over the following scenes.

EXT. PLAYGROUND - DAY. Timmy happily bounces a COSMO BASKETBALL. WIDEN TO REVEAL he’s bouncing it off Vicky’s head.

69 COSMO/VICKYOw! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

70 TIMMYOh boy, this is fun! (beat) Isn’t it?

71 WANDAI don’t know -- is it?

72 TIMMY It should be. Maybe I’m doing it wrong. I should try something else!

CUT TO:

EXT. PARK - Vicky runs, flying a WANDA KITE. Pull back to see Timmy watching her with Cosmo floating nearby.

73 COSMOI don’t get it, Timmy! Vicky’s having fun!

74 TIMMYI wish Wanda were a 747.

Cosmo waves his wand and turns Wanda into a JET. She flies off with little Vicky.

75 LITTLE VICKYAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!

76 COSMOYou having fun yet?

77 TIMMYYou’d think... but no. Weird.

8


EXT. GARDEN - Vicky waters a FLOWER with a WATERING CAN. The can runs dry. PAN OVER TO TIMMY with COSMO and WANDA, who floats as BEES.

78 TIMMYHey, Wanda, could you turn into a fire hose?

79 WANDAAw, gonna help Vicky water the plants?

80 TIMMYSomething like that.

POOF! Wanda turns into a FIRE HOSE.

ON VICKY - She turns around just as the most powerful WATER STREAM in the history of television, knocks her OS.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TIMMY’S LIVING ROOM - LATER

Little Vicky is wet, miserable and on the verge of tears. PAN OVER to Cosmo, Wanda and Timmy standing nearby.

81 TIMMYMan. I don’t even like her and I feel sorry for her.

82 COSMOWow! You’ve lost your cold, hard exterior.

83 WANDAAnd gotten down to the chewy gooey center!

84 TIMMYI guess. I thought getting back at Vicky would be fun. But... Maybe I should apologize.

85 WANDAWay to go, Timmy. You’ve had enough revenge for one day, don’t you think?

86 COSMOYeah, Timmy. Just remember all the good times you’ve had with Vicky.

87 TIMMYYeah, I guess...

Timmy walks over to the sniffling Little Vicky. As he walks, we see “Flashbacks” of Vicky being mean to him:

9


Flashback: We see the wedgies from “Dream Goat”

Timmy gets a little mad.

Flashback: We see Vicky putting her fist in Timmy’s face from “Dog’s Day Afternoon.”

Timmy’s face falls into a scowl.

Flashback: We see various shots of Vicky screaming at Timmy.

Timmy grits his teeth angrily. He stops next to Little Vicky and sees one of the tape recorders. He hits play.

88 TIMMY (VO)Hi, I’m Timmy Tuner and I’m in a dress!

Timmy pockets the tape recorder. By the time he turns to Little Vicky, he’s REALLY pissed off.

89 TIMMYHey, Vicky. I wanted to say I’m sorry.

90 LITTLE VICKY(brightening) Really?

91 TIMMYI wanted to... BUT I CHANGED MY MIND!

Timmy slaps a DUNCE CAP on her head, paints a CLOWN FACE on her face and spins her around to the window. He pulls up the shade and we see the same group of kids, now on CRUTCHES, in the window.

92 KIDSHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!

They all snap photos.

ON LITTLE VICKY - She stares blankly... then her face erupts into a torrent of tears. She’s totally humilated.

93 LITTLE VICKYWWAAAAAAAA!!!! WAA HAA HAA!!!!

ON TIMMY, COSMO AND WANDA - Timmy looks on as Cosmo and Wanda stare in disbelief.

94 TIMMYAh... ha... hmm. That’s odd.

95 COSMOWhat?

10


96 TIMMY(surprised) I thought this would be hilarious! Why isn’t it hilarious? I just got my ultimate revenge on Vicky! Evil Vicky! Icky with a V!

97 WANDANo, all you did was use our magic to torment a five year old girl ‘till she cried!

98 TIMMY(long beat) You’re right. I should wish her back to normal. I...

POOF! The FAIRY DISPATCHER appears.

99 FAIRY DISPATCHERReassignment orders for Wanda and Cosmo!

100 COSMOShe’s Cosmo and Wanda!

101 FAIRY DISPATCHERYou’re being reassigned to a sad, little kid, who needs your help.

102 TIMMYWhat? Who’s the sad little kid?

103 FAIRY DISPATCHERHer.

The Fairy Dispatcher points to the crying Little Vicky.

104 COSMO, WANDA AND TIMMYWHAT?!?!

105 WANDAWe don’t want to be her Godparents! She’s mean!

106 COSMOYeah! We like Timmy! His hat is pink!

107 FAIRY DISPATCHERSo? She’s a kid. She’s miserable. You’re fairies. Make her happy. Because unless she says “I’m Happy and I don’t need my Fairy Godparents anymore” You two are stuck with her.

11


The Fairy Dispatcher waves his wand. POOF! Cosmo and Wanda disappear.

108 TIMMYBut this is all a huge misunderstanding!

109 FAIRY DISPATCHERSo? Who cares what you think? You’re a mean babysitter!

POOF! The dispatcher disappears.

ON VICKY still sniffling. Cosmo and Wanda appear next to her.

110 COSMO(bummed) I’m Cosmo.

111 WANDA(bummed) And I’m Wanda.

112 COSMO AND WANDAAnd we’re...your Fairy Godparents.

They wave their wands and a HALF-ASSED MAGICAL LIGHT DISPLAY appears, complete with half-assed fire works and half-assed words reading: “Fairy Godparents.”

113 VICKYNeato! I have Fairy Godparents?

(to Timmy)Welcome to the corner of Pay and Back!

114 TIMMYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

Timmy runs like hell.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. TIMMY’S ROOM - LATER

Push in on his closet.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. CLOSET - SAME TIME

The door is BARRICADED for World War III. Timmy breathes hard and is clearly panicked.

12


115 TIMMYOkay... maybe she won’t find me here... but in case she does...

Timmy pulls out a QUILL PEN and PARCHMENT and BEGINS writing his LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT.

116 TIMMYI, Timmy Turner, being of sound mind and no godparents, do hereby bequeath...

POOF! The quill turns into a WANDA SNAKE.

117 WANDASorry about this, Timmy. HISSSSSS!!!!

He drops the Wanda snake and paper on the floor.

118 TIMMY AAA!

POOF! The paper turns into an ALBINO BAT and flutters around the closet.

119 TIMMY Bat! BAT BAT BAT!

Timmy breaks out of the closet and into his room. He freezes against the wall.

120 TIMMY Alright, Vicky! I know you’re out there... I know you’re probably pretty mad... but put yourself in my shoes...

POOF! Timmy’s shoes turn into SPRINGS that SLAM him into the ceiling 30 times in rapid succession. Timmy lands completely dazed.

121 TIMMYOkay. That’s cool. I get it. You’re getting your revenge now.

Timmy grabs a PILLOW from his bed, draws on a FACE, and fits his hat on it.

122 TIMMY Fine. I deserve it. Tell you what, I’ll just be standing here in the middle of my room completely defenseless...

13


He sets the pillow in the middle of the floor, tiptoes to the window, opens it and starts to sneak out when an enormous COSMO DRAGON pokes it’s head into the room.

123 COSMO(happily) Look at me, Timmy! I’m terrifying!

Cosmo’s head becomes Carmen Miranda’s head again.

124 TIMMYYou’re right! Aaaaaagh!

Timmy takes off. The dragon crashes through the window and shoots a BLAST OF FIRE BREATH after him. Timmy just makes it past the pillow statue as the fire scorches it. Timmy breaks through his door and heads downstairs.

CUT TO:

INT. THE TURNER LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME

Timmy runs into the room to find it has become an INSANE, ALL-POWERFUL, CHILD’S PLAYHOUSE. Cosmo and Wanda, wands glowing, are panting with exhaustion. Suddenly, the floor shakes, opens up, and Five-Year-Old-Vicky rises out on a COLUMN OF TWISTED CANDY CANES. Hurricane force winds blow through the room.

125 FIVE YEAR OLD VICKYHa! Ha! Ha! Wow! If I’m this mean now, wait ‘til I’m a teenager!

126 TIMMYHey, Vicky?

127 LITTLE VICKYKing Vicky!

128 TIMMYBut you’re a girl...

129 LITTLE VICKYI wanna be King!

130 TIMMYKing Vicky? Look... when you were older, you did really horrible things to me. And now that you’re five, I thought it would be fun if I did really mean things to you.

131 LITTLE VICKYAnd?

14


132 TIMMYRevenge stinks. But losing your Godparents stinks even more. So can I have my Godparents back?

133 LITTLE VICKYSure!

134 TIMMYReally?

135 LITTLE VICKYNope! I wish you had pimples!

POP! Timmy gets ZITS galore.

136 LITTLE VICKYAnd smelled bad!

137 COSMOWe don’t need to help with that.

138 TIMMYStop granting her wishes you guys!

139 WANDAWe can’t, Timmy. We’re her Godparents now!

Vicky, now riding on an evil, FLYING PONY, flies down to Timmy.

140 FIVE YEAR OLD VICKYI wish his head was a potty!

141 COSMODon’t hate me for this!!!

Cosmo waves his wand and POOF! Timmy’s head is a TOILET.

142 TIMMYYou two have to do something...

143 LITTLE VICKYParking meter.

Wanda waves her wand. Timmy’s body becomes a PARKING METER.

144 TIMMY Because it’s only a matter of time...

145 LITTLE VICKYGumball machine.

15


Cosmo waves his wand and POOF! Timmy becomes a GUMBALL MACHINE. All the GUMBALLS fall out as he speaks.

146 TIMMY ...until she totally kills me!

147 WANDAOh, she can’t do that, Timmy, it’s against the rules!

Vicky stops.

148 LITTLE VICKYWhat? There are rules?

POOF! The room returns to normal, except for Timmy, who remains a zit covered, combination toilet, parking meter, gumball machine.

149 TIMMYWell, yeah. (sensing a chance) Uh... you see, with every pair of Godparents you get a nifty rule book!

150 LITTLE VICKYLemme see the rule book!

POOF! Cosmo and Wanda make “DA RULES” appear. As Timmy speaks to Vicky, he secretly scribbles his own message into “Da Rules.”

151 TIMMY There’s lots of rules, Vicky. Lots of things you could really mess up if you’re not careful! But the most important thing is you can never say this sentence right here...

ANGLE ON THE RULE BOOK: In Timmy’s handwriting, we see the phrase “I’m happy and I don’t need my godparents anymore.”

152 LITTLE VICKY(reading) “I’m happy and I don’t need my godparents anymore?” (to Timmy) Why would I say that?

POOF! The Fairy Dispatcher arrives.

153 FAIRY DISPATCHERAwright! Who said “I’m happy and I don’t need godparents anymore?”

154 COSMO AND WANDASHE DID! SHE DID! SHE DID!

16


Timmy starts fake crying.

155 TIMMYWAA-HAA HAA! WAAAA!

156 FAIRY DISPATCHERHey, who made the combination child/toilet/gumball machine/parking meter cry?

157 COSMO AND WANDASHE DID! SHE DID! SHE DID!

158 LITTLE VICKYOh yeah? Prove it!

Timmy pulls out the tape recorder.

159 RECORDED LITTLE VICKY (VO)I’m happy and I don’t need godparents anymore.

160 FAIRY DISPATCHERWow! You made this kid go from miserable to content in nothing flat!

The messenger pulls out a big RUBBER STAMP and stamps the side of her face. The stamp reads “Happy!”

161 LITTLE VICKYHey!

162 FAIRY DISPATCHER(to Timmy) You, on the other hand, are miserable. And, need a quarter.

The Dispatcher shoves a QUARTER into Timmy’s meter.

163 FAIRY DISPATCHER (to Cosmo and Wanda) Miserable kid. Fairy Godparents. Make with the happy.

POOF! The Dispatcher waves his wand and disappears. With a poof, Cosmo and Wanda disappear from next to Vicky and reappear next to Timmy. Vicky’s eyes widen with horror.

164 LITTLE VICKYI lost my Godparents? Already? NOOOOOOOOOOO!

165 COSMO

17


Whattya gonna do to her, Timmy? Head like a toilet? Face full of zits?

166 TIMMYOh no... Better than that...

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. TIMMY’S BACKYARD - LATER

There’s a full-scale, kids’ BIRTHDAY PARTY going on, merry-go-rounds, the works. Vicky sits at the head of the table, a piece of CAKE in front of her. Every other kid is laughing, screaming, having a great time!

167 LITTLE VICKYBut I’m miserable! Why won’t anybody believe me? I’m... (beat) Ooooo! Vanilla!

She starts chowing down on the cake.

ON TIMMY in the lawn chair, watching with COSMO AND WANDA

168 WANDAWhy are you being so nice to Vicky!

169 TIMMYWell... if weren’t for her making me so miserable, I wouldn’t have gotten you guys in the first place! So now I’m gonna give her the best day of her life!

170 WANDAReally!

171 TIMMYYep! And best of all, when I wish her back to 16, she won’t remember a thing!

172 WANDASee, Timmy. Two wrongs don’t make a right!

173 COSMOYeah, but three rights make a left! And now it’s time for the show!

Poof! Cosmo dons his Carmen Miranda outfit, begins to dance and...

174 COSMO(sings one note)

175 TIMMYWanda?

18


POOF! Wanda turns into a fire hose -- which Timmy subsequently turns on Cosmo. And on good, high pressured, water induced fun, we...

IRIS OUT

END OF EPISODE

19

122 the switch glitch

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