alfred bester - galatea galante

8/10/2019 Alfred Bester - Galatea Galante

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GALATEA GALANTEby Alfred BesterHe was wearing a prefaded !"p s!it# bea!tif!lly tailored# t$e dernier %ri in t$e nostalgi% &'00s# b!t reallytoo yo!t$f!l for $is t$irty(odd years. )et s*!are on $is $ead was a +intage ,%ir%a '-50 Englis$ "otoring

%ap wit$ t$e pea/ le+eled on a line wit$ $is brows# "as/ing t$e lig$t of l!na%y in $is eyes.ead on a slab# $e "ig$t be %alled disting!is$ed# e+en $andso"e# b!t ali+e and a%ti+e1 T$at wo!lddepend on $ow "!%$ de"ented dedi%ation one %o!ld sto"a%$. He was s$o!ldering $is way t$ro!g$ t$e%rowded aisles of

THE )AT23N 32)50 6HANTA)T 6H3EA) 50

888ALL ALEN)888He was %arrying a "ini so!nd(%a"era t$at loo/ed li/e a %$ro"e(and(ebony pepper "ill# and $e was 9l"ingt$e li+ing# %rawling# spas"ing# gibbering "onstrosities e:$ibited in t$e large s$ow%ases and s"all +itrines#wit$ a "!r"!red

r!nning %o""entary. His +oi%e was pleasant; $is re"ar/s were not.

<A$# yes# t$e Bellatri: basilis/# so t$e sign ass!res !s. Bla%/(and(yellow bod of a serpent. Loo/s li/e aGila("onster $ead atta%$ed. =or/ of t$at Teas tailor w$o>s so nit?y wit$ s!rgi%al needle and t$read.6ea%o%/ %oronet on $ead. Good t$eater to blindfold its eyes. on+eys t$e %on+i%tion t$at its glan%e will /ill.H""". @!g$t to gag t$e "o!t$# too. A%%ording to "yt$ t$e basilis/>s breat$ also /ills ....<And t$e Hyades $ydra. Li/e wow. Nine $eads# as per re+ered tradition. Loo/s li/e a %on+erted ig!ana. T$ee:i%an again. T$at sea"stress $as a%%ess to e+ery da"n sna/e and li?ard in entral A"eri%a. )$e>s donea ni%e oin of ne%/s to tr!n/(got to ad"it t$at(b!t $er stit%$ing s$ows to "y eye ....<anop!s %erber!s. T$ree dog $eads. Loo/ li/e o+ersi?ed $i$!a$!as. asti bod. 3attlesna/e tail. 3ing ofrattlers aro!nd t$e waist. A!t$enti% b!t %l!"sy. T$at Teas wo"an o!g$t to /now yo! %an>t graft sna/es%ales onto $o!nd $ide. T$ey loo/ li/e %r!d; b!t at least all t$ree $eads are bar/ing.. .<=ell# well# well# $ere>s t$e "aladroit w$o %lai"s $e>s "y ri+al; t$e Berlin b!t%$er wit$ $is ?oo %astos.His latest spe%ta%!lar# t$e 3igel griCn. >6a(daaa8 o $i" !sti%e# it>s %lassi%. Eagle $ead and wings# b!t it>s"olting. Lion bod i"planted wit$ feat$ers. And $e>s !sed ostri%$ %laws for t$e feet. wo!ld $a+e generated

a!t$enti% dragon>s feet ....<Now artian "ono%eros; $orse bod# elep$ant legs# stag>s tail. Des# %on+in%ing# b!t w$y isn>t it $owling asit s$o!ld# a%%ording to legend1 i?ar "anti%ora. os$er. os$er. T$ree rows of teet$. Loo/ li/e i"planteds$ar/>s. Lion bod. )%orpion tail. =onder $ow t$ey prod!%ed t$at red eyed ee%t. T$e Ares assida. !ll.!ll. !lls+ille. !st an ostri%$ wit$ %a"el feet# and st!"bling all o+er t$e"# too.No %reati+e i"agination8<A$# b!t %all t$at poster o+er t$e )iri!s sp$in: brilliant t$eater. y %o"pli"ents to t$e "anage"ent. t>sgot to be re%orded for posterityF THE 62BL ) 3E)6ET2LLD 3E2E)TE N@T T@ GVE THE @33ETAN)=E3 T@ THE ENGA 6@)E BD THE )6HNI.<Be%a!se if yo! do gi+e t$e %orre%t answer# as @edip!s fo!nd o!t# s$e>ll destroy $erself o!t of %$agrin. Asore loser. o!g$t to answer t$e riddle# !st to see $ow t$ey stage it# b!t no. T$eater isn>t "y s$ti%/; "yb!siness is stri%tly %reati+e genesis ....<T$e Berlin b!t%$er again# astor %$i"era. Lion $ead. Goat>s bod. Loo/s li/e an ana%onda tail. How t$e $ell

did $e s!rgify to get it to +o"it t$ose Ja"es1 )o"e sort of %atalyti% gi""i%/ in t$e t$roat# s!ppose. t>sonly a %old %orposant 9re# *!ite $ar"less b!t +ery dra"ati%(and t$ose 9re e:ting!is$ers aro!nd t$es$ow%ase are a lo+ely to!%$. a"n good t$eater. Again# "y %o"pli"ents to t$e "anage"ent.. .<A$a8 Beef%a/e on t$e $oof. Kos"a %enta!r. Good(loo/ing Gree/ oined to t$at )$etland pony. Blood"!st $a+e been a proble". T$ey probably drained bot$ and s!bstit!ted a ne!tral s!rrogate. T$e Gree/loo/s $appy eno!g$; in fa%t# da"n s"!g. Anyone wondering w$y $as only to see $ow t$e pony>s $!ng ....<=$at $a+e we $ere1 Antares !ni%orn# %o"plete wit$ grafted narw$al t!s/ b!t not wit$ t$e +irgin w$o%apt!red it# +irgin girls being t$e only types t$at %an s!bd!e !ni%orns# legend sait$. t$o!g$t narw$alswere e:tin%t. T$ey "ay $a+e bo!g$t t$e t!s/ fro" a wal/ing(sti%/ "a/er. /now +irgins are not e:tin%t."a/e>e" e+ery "ont$; p!rity g!aranteed or yo!r "oney ba%/ ....<And a )pi%a siren. Lo+ely girl. Bea!tif!l. )$e(B!t da"n "y eyes# s$e>s no "an!fa%t!red frea/8 T$at>s



)andra#

"y )iren8 %an re%ogni?e "y genesis anyw$ere. =$at t$e $ell is )andy doing in t$is da"n disg!sting%ir%!s1 Na/ed in a s$ow%ase8 T$is is an o!trage8<He %$arged t$e s$ow%ase in $is rage. He was gi+en to Jas$es of f!ry t$at p!n%t!ated $is $abit!ale:asperated %al". ,His deep %on+i%tion was t$at it was a da"ned intransigent world be%a!se it wasn>t r!n$is way# w$i%$ was t$e rig$t way.He beat and %lawed at t$e s!pple walls# w$i%$ ga+e b!t did not brea/. He %ast aro!nd wildly for anyt$ing

destr!%ti+e# t$en darted to t$e %$i"era e:$ibit# grabbed a 9re e:ting!is$er# and das$ed ba%/ to t$e )iren. T$ree de"onia% blows %ra%/ed t$e plasti%# and t$ree "ore s$attered an es%ape $at%$. His f!ry o!tdrew t$efrea/s# and a fas%inated %rowd gat$ered.He rea%$ed in and sei?ed t$e s"iling )iren. <)andy# get t$e $ell o!t. =$at were yo! doing t$ere in t$e 9rstpla%e1< . M<=$ere>s yo!r $!sband1<44 4 --<or God>s sa/e8< He p!lled o $is %ap# re+ealing pale# strea/y $air. <Here# %o+er yo!rself wit$ t$is. No# no#girl# downstairs. 2se an ar" for !pstairs# and $ide yo!r rear ele+ation against "y ba%/.<<No# a" not pr!dis$. si"ply will not $a+e "y bea!tif!l %reation on p!bli% display. >yo! t$in/ (< Het!rned 9er%ely on t$ree se%!rity g!ards %losing in on $i" and brandis$ed t$e $ea+y brass %ylinder. <@ne"ore step# and let yo! $a+e it wit$ t$is. n t$e eyes. E+er $ad fro?en eyeballs1<

T$ey $alted. <Now loo/# "ister# yo! got no(<< a" not %alled "ister.> y degree is o"inie# w$i%$ "eans "aster professor. a" addressed aso"inie# o"inie anwrig$t# and want to see t$e owner at on%e. ""ediately. Here and now. )ofort8""ediata"ente8 r. )at!rn or r. 6$rea/ or w$ate+er8<Tell $i" t$at o"inie 3egis anwrig$t wants $i" $ere now. He>ll /now "y na"e# or $e>d. better# by God8Now be o wit$ yo!. )plit. !t.< anwrig$t glared aro!nd at t$e ent$ralled spe%tators. <Do! t!r/eys getlost# too. All of yo!. Go eyeball t$e ot$er sig$ts. T$e )iren s$ow is /ap!t.<As t$e %rowd s$!Oed ba%/ fro" anwrig$t>s f!ry# an a"!sed gentle"an in $ig$ly !nli/elytwentiet$(%ent!ry e+ening dress stepped forward. < see yo! !nderstand )iren# sir. ost i"pressi+e.< Hesl!ng t$e opera %ape o $is s$o!lders and oered it to )andra. <Do! "!st be %old# "ada"e. ay 1<<T$an/ yo!#< anwrig$t growled. <6!t it on# )andy. o+er yo!rself. And t$an/ t$e "an.<P4 Q '-< don>t gi+e a da"n w$et$er yo!>re %old or not. o+er yo!rself. won>t $a+e yo! parading t$at bea!tif!l

body %reated. And gi+e "e ba%/ "y %ap.<<=o"en8< anwrig$t gr!"bled. <T$is is t$e last ti"e e+er generate one. Do! sla+e o+er t$e". Do! !se allyo!r e:pertise to %reate bea!ty and i"plant sense and sensibility# and t$ey all t!rn o!t t$e sa"e.rrational8 =o"en8 A ra%e apart8 And w$ere t$e $ell>s 50 6$antasti/ 6$rea/s 501<<At yo!r ser+i%e# o"inie#<t$e gentle"an s"iled.<=$at1 Do!1 T$e "anage"ent1<<ndeed yes.<<n t$at ridi%!lo!s w$ite tie and tails1<<)o sorry# o"inie. T$e %ost!"e is traditional for t$e role. And by day >" re*!ired to wear $!nting dress.t is grotes*!e# b!t t$e p!bli% e:pe%ts it of t$e ring"aster.<<H"p$8 =$at>s yo!r na"e1 >d li/e to /now t$e na"e of t$e "an s/in ali+e.<

<or*!e1<

<or/1 As in reland1<<B!t wit$ a 2 E.<<or*!e1< or(/ew(ee1< anwrig$t>s eyes /indled. <=o!ld yo! by any %$an%e be related to $arles 3!ssellor*!e# )yrt!s professor of ET biology1 >ll $old t$at in yo!r fa+or.<<T$an/ yo!# o"inie. a" $arles 3!ssell or*!e# professor of e:traterrestrial and "!tation biology at)yrt!s 2ni+ersity.<<=$at8<<Des.<<n t$at prepostero!s %ost!"e1<<Alas# yes.<<Here1 @n Terra1<



<Not g!ilty# o"inie. %an>t s!per+ise e+eryt$ing. T$e rea/ ore"an "ade t$e p!r%$ase.<<He did# did $e1< anwrig$t ret!rned to essa"y. <And$ow "!%$ did yo! get for $er1<<T$at is not ger"ane.<<T$at little1 =$y# yo! padded pro%!rer1 =$y1 God /nows# yo! don>t need t$e "oney<<r. anwrig$t(<<on>t yo! o%tor> "e. t>s o"inie.<<o"inie(<

<)pea/.<<Do! sold "e a le"on.<<=$at8<<Do! $eard "e. Do! sold "e a le"on.<<How dare yo!8<< ad"it >" a illionaire.<<Ad"it it1 Do! broad%ast it.<<B!t ne+ert$eless resent a rip(o.<<3ip8 >ll /ill t$e "an. on>t restrain "e. >ll /ill8 Loo/# yo! da"ned "inty "a%$o# yo! %a"e to "e and%ontra%ted for t$e perfe%t wife. A )iren# yo! said. T$e /ind t$at a "an wo!ld $a+e to las$ $i"self to t$e"ast to resist a la 2lysses. =ell1 idn>t yo!1<<Des# did.<<Des# yo! did. And did or did not generate a biodroid "ira%le of bea!ty# en%$ant"ent# and "yt$ologi%al

a!t$enti%ity# g!aranteed or yo!r "oney ba%/1<<Des# yo! did.<<And one wee/ after deli+ery dis%o+er "y 6earl of 6erfe%tion sold to t$e disting!is$ed $arles 3!ssellor*!e>s obs%ene frea/ s$ow and displayed na/ed in a bi?arre s$ow%ase. y bea!tif!l fa%e and ne%/8 ybea!tif!l ba%/ and b!tto%/s8 y bea!tif!l breasts8 y bea!tif!l "ons +eneris8 y(M<T$at>s w$at s$e wanted.<<id yo!# )andy1<

w<)$a"e on yo!# girl. /now yo!>re +ain(t$at was a glit%$ in "y progra""ing(b!t yo! don>t $a+e to Ja!ntit. Do!>re a da"ned e:$ibitionist.< Ba%/ to essa"yF <B!t t$at doesn>t e:%!se yo!r selling $er. =$y# did yo!do it# da""it1 =$y<)$e was tearing "y s$eets.<

<=$at1<<Do!r bea!tif!l# en%$anting 6earl of 6erfe%tion was tearing "y "onogra""ed sil/ s$eets# wo+en atin%redible %ost by brain da"aged n!ns. )$e was tearing t$e" wit$ $er "yt$ologi%ally a!t$enti% feet. Loo/at t$e".<

T$ere was no need to loo/. t was !ndeniable t$at t$e bea!tif!l# en%$anting )iren was feat$ered fro" t$e/nees down and $ad deli%ate p$easant feet.<)o1< anwrig$t de"anded i"patiently.<)$e was also s%rat%$ing "y an/les.<<a"n yo!8< anwrig$t b!rst o!t. <Do! as/ed for a )iren. Do! paid for a )iren. Do! re%ei+ed a )iren.<<=it$ bird feet1<<@f %o!rse wit$ bird feet. )irens are part bird. Ha+en>t yo! read yo!r B!l9n%$1 Aristotle1 )ir T$o"asBrowne1 atter of fa%t# yo!>re l!%/y )andy didn>t t!rn o!t bird fro" t$e waist down. Ha8<<Very f!nny#< essa"y "!ttered.

<B!t it wasn>t l!%/.< anwrig$t went on. <No# it was geni!s. y biodroid geni!s for %reati+e genesis# and"y deep !nderstanding of t$e se:!al appetites.<'' ; ''<on>t be i"p!dent# girl. $a+e se:!al appetites# too# b!t w$en g!arantee a +irgin# ( No "atter. Ta/e $er$o"e# essa"y. on>t arg!e# or >ll /ill yo!# if %an 9nd t$at da"ned brass t$ing t$o!g$t $ad. Ta/e)andra $o"e. >ll ref!nd 6rofessor or*!e in f!ll. Got to s!pport $is brilliantresear%$. )andy# tri" yo!r talons# for God>s sa/e8 )ense and sensibility# girl8. or*!e# go pa%/ !p and"o+e in wit$ "e. Here>s "y %ard wit$ t$e address. =$at t$e de+il are yo! doing wit$ t$at silly(loo/ing 9ree:ting!is$er1<<And t$at>s t$e f!ll s$"eer# $arles. >" sorry $a+en>t any wor/ in progress to s$ow yo!# b!t yo! %an see>" no tailor or sea"stress# %!tting !p "at!re ani"als# $!"an or ot$erwise# and pie%ing parts toget$er#



li/e yo! see wit$ t$ose s$ow(bi? "onsters in yo!r %ir%!s. No# "a%rogenerate >e"# p!re and w$ole# o!t oft$e basi% NA brot$. ine are all test(t!be babies. loren%e(Jas/ babies# as a "atter of fa%t# w$i%$ isw$ere start >e". Biodroids need wo"b spa%e li/e any ot$er ani"al.<<as%inating# "y dear 3eg# and *!ite o+erw$el"ing. B!t w$at %an>t fat$o" is yo!r 3NA pro%ess.<<Ali8 T$e 3NA "essenger ser+i%e# e$1<<E:a%tly. Now we all /now t$at NA is t$e life reser+oir(< .<All1 =e all /now1 Ha8 Not bloody li/ely. )o"e ti"e >ll s$ow yo! t$e ab!se get fro" t$e )%ript!re frea/s.<<And we /now t$at 3NA is t$e "essenger ser+i%e deli+ering %o""ands to t$e de+eloping tiss!es.<

<3ig$t on# $arles. T$at>s w$ere t$e %ontrol lies.<<B!t $ow do yo! %ontrol t$e %ontrols1 How do yo! dire%t t$e 3NA to deli+er spe%i9% %o""ands fro" NAto e"bryo1 And $ow do yo! sele%t t$e %o""ands1<<6ent$o!se.<<=$(w$at1<<o"e !p to t$e pent$o!se. >ll s$ow yo!.<anwrig$t led or*!e o!t of t$e enor"o!s %ri"son(lit %ellar laboratory w$i%$ was softly glowing wit$r!by(%olored glassware and li*!ids ,<y babies "!st be ins!lated fro" lig$t (and noise< and !p to t$e"ain Joor of t$e

$o!se. t was de%orated in t$e o"inie>s de"ented styleF a $odgepodge of 3egen%y# %lassi% Gree/#Afri%an# and 3enaissan%e. T$ere was e+en a "arble pool in$abited by irides%ent "ani% 9s$# w$i%$ ga?ed!p at t$e two "en eagerly.

<Hoping we>ll fall in#< anwrig$t la!g$ed. <A %ross between piran$a and golden %arp. @ne of "y follies.< T$en%e to t$e se%ond Joor# twenty(9+e by a $!ndred. anwrig$t>s library and st!dyF fo!r walls s$el+ed and%ra""ed wit$ tapes# p!bli%ations# and software; a rolling ladder leaning against ea%$ wall; a giganti%%arpenter>s wor/ben%$ %enter# !sed as a des/ and piled wit$ %l!tter.

T$ird Joor di+ided between dining roo" ,front# /it%$en and pantry ,%enter# and ser+ants> *!arters ,rear#o+erloo/ing garden.o!rt$ Joor# enoying "a:i"!" s/y and air# bedroo"s. T$ere were fo!r# ea%$ wit$ its own dressing roo"and bat$# all rat$er se+ere and "onasti%. anwrig$t regarded sleep as a da"ned ne%essity w$i%$ $ad tobe end!red b!t w$i%$ s$o!ld ne+er be t!rned into a l!:!ry.<=e all get eno!g$ sleep d!ring o!r nine "ont$s in t$e wo"b#< $e $ad growled to or*!e# <and we>ll get"ore t$an we>ll e+er need after we die. B!t >" wor/ing on regenerati+e i""ortality# o and on. Tro!ble is#tiss!es !st don>t want to play ball.< He led t$e professor !p a narrow stair to t$e pent$o!se.t was a %lear plasti% do"e# 9r"ly an%$ored against wind and weat$er. n t$e %enter stood a gli""ering

3!be Goldberg# Heat$(3obinson# a Vin%i "e%$ani%al %onstr!%t. f it rese"bled anyt$ing it wo!ld be agiant %ollapsing robot waiting for a $andy"an to p!t it toget$er again. or*!e stared at t$e galli"a!fryand t$en at anwrig$t.<Ne!trinos%ope#< t$e o"inie e:plained. <y e:trapolation of t$e ele%tron "i%ros%ope.<<=$at1 Ne!trinos1 T$e beta(de%ay pro%ess1<anwrig$t nodded. <o"bined wit$ a %y%lotron. get parti%!lar parti%le sele%tion t$at way anda%%eleration !p to ten e+. )ele%tion>s t$e %r!:# $arles. Ea%$ geneti% "ole%!le in t$e 3NA %oil $as aspe%i9% response to a spe%i9% parti%le bo"bard"ent. T$e way >+e been able to identify and isolateso"ew$ere in t$e neig$bor$ood of ten t$o!sand "essenger %o""ands.<<B!t(b!t(y dear 3eg# t$is is positi+ely fantasti%8<anwrig$t nodded again# <2$($!$. Too/ "e ten years.<<B!t $ad no idea t$at( =$y $a+en>t yo! p!blis$ed1<<=$at1< anwrig$t snorted in disg!st. <6!blis$1 And $a+e e+ery da"ned *!a%/ and %a"p!s %retin

%lowning aro!nd wit$ t$e "ost sa%red and "ira%!lo!s p$eno"enon e+er generated on o!r !ni+erse1 6a$8No way8<<Do!>re into it# 3eg.<anwrig$t drew $i"self !p wit$ $a!te!r. <# sir# do not %lown.<<B!t 3eg (<<B!t "e no b!ts# professor. By $ea+en# if $rist# in w$o" >+e ne+er belie+ed# e+er ret!rned to Terra andt$is $o!se# >d /eep it a se%ret. Do! /now da"n well t$e $ell t$at wo!ld brea/ loose if p!blis$ed. t>d be.Golgot$a all o+er again.<=$ile or*!e was wondering w$et$er anwrig$t "eant $is biodroid te%$ni*!es# $rist>s epip$any# or bot$t$ere was a so!nd of a large obe%t slowly falling !pstairs. anwrig$t>s s%owl was transfor"ed into a grin.<y $o!se/eeper#< $e %$!%/led. <Do! didn>t get t$e %$an%e to see $i" w$en yo! "o+ed in last nig$t. A



treas!re.<An i"be%ile fa%e# atta%$ed to a pin$ead# po/ed t$ro!g$ t$e pent$o!se door. t was followed by a s/ewed$!n%$ba%/ body wit$ giganti% $ands and feet. T$e "o!t$# w$i%$ see"ed to wander at will aro!nd t$e fa%eopened and spo/e in a $oarse +oi%e.<a$t$(ter . . .<

<Des# gor1<<)$o!ld t$teal yo! a brain today# "a$t$(ter1<

<T$an/ yo!# gor. Not today<<T$en brea/fa$t$t it$ t$er+ed# "a$t$(ter.<<T$an/ yo!# gor. T$is is o!r disting!is$ed g!est# t$e %elebrated 6rofessor $arles or*!e. Do! will "a/e$i" %o"fortable and obey $i" in e+eryt$ing.<<Det$# "a$t$(ter. At yo!r t$er+it$e# t$elebrated 6rofet$or $arlt$ or*!e. )$o!ld t$teal yo! a braintoday1<<Not today# t$an/ yo!.<gor bobbed $is $ead# t!rned# disappeared# and t$ere was a so!nd of a large obe%t rapidly fallingdownstairs. or*!e>s fa%e was %on+!lsed wit$ s!ppressed la!g$ter. <=$at in t$e world(1<<A ree%t#< anwrig$t grinned. <@nly one in "y %areer. No# t$e 9rst of two# if we %o!nt )andy# b!t do t$in/

essa"y will /eep $is )iren. Anyway#< $e %ontin!ed# leading or*!e downstairs# <t$is %lient was absol!tely$ypnoti?ed by t$e ran/enstein legend. a"e to "e and %ontra%ted for a fait$f!l ser+itor# li/e t$e Baron>sa%%o"pli%e. 3et!rned 9+e "ont$s later# paid li/e a gent# b!t said $e>d %$anged $is "ind. He was now on a

3obinson r!soe /i%/ and wanted a riday. "ade $i" $is riday# b!t was st!%/ wit$ gor.<<o!ldn>t yo! $a+e dissol+ed $i" ba%/ into t$e NA brot$1<<Good God# $arles8 No way. Ne+er. generate life; don>t destroy it. Anyway# gor>s an ideal $o!se/eeper.He does $a+e t$is brain(stealing $ang(!p(t$at was part of t$e original "odel(and $a+e to lo%/ $i" in a%loset w$en t$ere>s t$!nder and lig$tning# b!t $e %oo/s li/e an absol!te geni!s.<< $adn>t /nown t$at Baron ran/enstein>s $en%$"an was a %$ef.<<To be *!ite $onest# $arles# $e wasn>t. T$at was an errorin progra""ing( do glit%$ now and t$en(wit$ a $appy ending. =$en gor>s %oo/ing# $e t$in/s $e>s "a/ing"onsters.<

T$e %ard %a"e in on t$e sa"e tray wit$ t$e To"ato(@nion Tart ,ripe to"atoes# sli%ed onions# parsley# basilGr!yere# ba/e in pastry s$ell forty "in!tes at S75R# and anwrig$t snat%$ed t$e e"bossed foil o t$esal+er.<=$at>s t$is# gor1 Ant$ony Valera# $air"an# Vorte: )yndi%ate# P- @ld )lip# BF

0&'0(00'&(0SP(&'P&-'>1<<n t$e waiting roo"# "a$t$(ter.<<By God# $arles# a potential %lient. Now yo! "ay $a+e yo!r %$an%e to wat%$ "y genesis fro" start to9nis$. o"e on8<<@$# $a+e a $eart# 3eg. Let t$e %$air"an wait. gor>s "onster loo/s deli%io!s.<<T$an/ yo!# t$elebrated 6rofet$or $arlt$ or*!e.<<No# no# gor. T$e t$an/s go fro" "e to yo!.<<6igs# bot$ of yo!#< anwrig$t snorted and das$ed for t$e stairs. or*!e rolled $is eyes to $ea+en#grabbed a sli%e of tart# win/ed at gor# and followed# %$ewing e%stati%ally.@ne wo!ld e:pe%t t$e %$air"an of a syndi%ate wit$ a se+enteen(9g!re B telep$one n!"ber to loo/ li/eAttila t$e H!n. Ant$ony Valera loo/ed and dressed li/e a s!a+e )panis$ grandee; $e was bla%/ and sil+er#in%l!ding ribboned per!/e. He was +ery "!%$ a! %o!rant# for as or*!e entered $e s"iled# bowed# and"!r"!red# <=$at a $appy s!rprise# 6rofessor or*!e. elig$ted. $ad t$e pleas!re of $earing yo! spea/

at t$e Tri+i!" $arontis %on+ention.< And r. Valera %onsiderately oered $is left pal"# or*!e>s rig$t$and being b!sy wit$ t$e tart.<He wants an ideal e:e%!ti+e se%retary.< anwrig$t ref!sed to waste ti"e on %o!rtesies. <And told $i"t$at "y biodroid talents are da"ned e:pensi+e.<<To w$i%$ was abo!t to respond w$en yo! "ost $appily

entered# 6rofessor or*!e# t$at Vorte: is %ri"inally sol+ent.<<T$en it>s to be a %o"pany %ontra%t1<<No# o"inie# personal.< r. Valera s"iled. <# also# a" %ri"inally sol+ent.<<Good. $ate doing b!siness wit$ %o""ittees. Do! "!st /now t$e old saw abo!t %a"els. Let>s dis%!ss t$espe%s and see w$et$er we !nderstand ea%$ ot$er. )e:1<



<e"ale# of %o!rse.<<@f %o!rse. 6$ysi%al appearan%e1<<Do! don>t ta/e notes1<<Total re%all.<<Do! are l!%/y. =ell# t$en. air. edi!" tall. Endowed wit$ soft gra%e. )oft +oi%e. Bl!e eyes. lear s/in.)lender $ands. )lender ne%/. A!b!rn $air.<<"". Got any parti%!lar e:a"ple of t$e type in "ind1< <Des. Botti%elli>s Birt$ of Ven!s.<<Ha8 Ven!s on t$e Half(s$ell. Lo+ely "odel. $ara%ter1< <=$at one wo!ld e:pe%t of a se%retaryF sterling#

fait$f!l# de+oted . . . to "y wor/# of %o!rse.<<To yo!r wor/# of %o!rse.<<And %le+er.<<>yo! "ean %le+er or intelligent1<<Aren>t t$ey t$e sa"e1<<No. le+erness re*!ires $!"or. ntelligen%e does not.<<T$en %le+er. >ll pro+ide t$e intelligen%e. )$e "!st be able to learn *!i%/ly and re"e"ber. )$e "!st beable to a%*!ire any s/ill ne%essary for "y wor/. )$e "!st be per%epti+e and !nderstand t$e stresses and%onJi%ts t$at "a/e a %$air"an>s life one %onstant battle.<<)o far yo! %o!ld $ire s!%$ a girl#< anwrig$t obe%ted. <=$y %o"e to "e1<< $a+en>t 9nis$ed# o"inie. )$e "!st $a+e no pri+ate life and be willing to drop e+eryt$ing and beinstantly a+aila(ble at all ti"es.<

<A+ailable for w$at1<<B!siness l!n%$eons# dinners# last("in!te parties# %lient entertain"ent# and so fort$. )$e "!st be %$i% andfas$ionable and able to da??le "en. Do! wo!ld not belie+e $ow "any to!g$ ty%oons $a+e been %$ar"edinto d!bio!s deals by a sed!%ti+e se%retary.<<Do!>+e left o!t an i"portant point. @n w$at salary will s$e be sed!%ting1<<@$# >ll pro+ide t$e "oney for t$e wardrobe# t$e "a*!illage# and so fort$. )$e "!st pro+ide t$e taste# t$e%$ar"# t$e wit# t$e entertaining %on+ersation.<<T$en yo! want a tal/er1<<B!t only w$en want $er to tal/. @t$erwise# "!".<or*!e w$istled softly. <B!t yo!>re des%ribing a paragon# "y dear sir.<< wo!ld say a "ira%le# 6rofessor or*!e# b!t o"inie anwrig$t is %elebrated for $is "ira%!lo!s%reations.<<Do! "arried1< anwrig$t s$ot.

<i+e ti"es.<<T$en yo!>re a %$aser.<<o"inie8<<And easily landed.<<3eally# yo!>re e:traordinarily bl!nt. A %$aser1 =ell . . . let>s say t$at >" attra%ted# o%%asionally<<=o!ld yo! want yo!r e:e%!ti+e se%retary to be responsi+e(o%%asionally1 s t$at to be progra""ed1<<@nly !nilaterally. f s$o!ld $appen to desire# wo!ld want a bea!tif!l response. B!t s$e is not to "a/ede"ands. Ne+ert$eless s$e will# of %o!rse# be fait$f!l to "e.<<T$ese para"eters are prepostero!s#< or*!e e:%lai"ed indignantly.<Not at all# $arles# not at all#< anwrig$t soot$ed. <r. Valera is "erely des%ribing w$at all "en desire in awo"anF

an Aspasia# t$e bea!tif!l fe""e galante w$o was t$e adoring "istress and ad+iser to 6eri%les of an%ient

Gree%e. t>s wis$f!l fantasy# b!t "y b!siness is t!rning fantasy into reality# and wel%o"e t$e %$allenge. T$is girl "ay be "y "agn!" op!s.< Again $e 9red a s$ot at Valera. <And yo!>ll be%o"e +ery bored.<<=$at1<<=it$in si: "ont$s t$is adoring# talented# dedi%ated sla+e will bore yo! to tears.<<B!t $ow1 =$y1<<Be%a!se yo!>+e left o!t t$e %r!: of a /ept wo"an>s $old o+er a "an. on>t protest# Valera. =e /now da"nwell yo!>re ordering a "istress# and "a/e no "oral !dg"ent# b!t yo!>+e forgotten t$e drop of a%id.<<o"inie# do protest# (<<!st listen. Do!>re %ontra%ting for an en%$anting "istress# and it>s "y ob to "a/e s!re t$at s$e re"ainsen%$anting# always. Now t$ere are "any sweet %onfe%tions t$at re*!ire a drop of a%id to bring yo! t$e f!llJa+or and /eep t$e" enoyable. Do!r Aspasia will need a drop of a%id for t$e sa"e reason. @t$erwise# $er



perpet!al perfe%tion will %loy yo! in a "atter of "ont$s.<<Do! /now#< Valera said slowly# <t$at>s rat$er ast!te# o"inie. =$at wo!ld yo! ad+ise1 >" all anti%ipation8<T$e a%id in any wo"an w$o %an $old a "anF t$e !ne:pe%ted# t$e *!ality t$at "a/es it i"possible to li+ewit$ t$e" or wit$o!t t$e".<<And w$at wo!ld t$at be in "y . . . "y se%retary1<<How t$e de+il %an tell yo!1< anwrig$t s$o!ted. <f yo! /new in ad+an%e# it wo!ldn>t be !ne:pe%ted# andanyway won>t /now. %an>t g!arantee s!rprise and ad+ent!re wit$ a wo"an. All %an do is progra" adeliberate error into t$e genesis of yo!r perfe%t Aspasia# and t$e dis%o+ery of t$at /in/ will be t$e

%$ar"ing drop of a%id. 2nder(stood1<<Do! "a/e it so!nd li/e a ga"ble.<<T$e irrational is always a ga"ble.<After a pa!se Valera said# <T$en yo!>re %$allenging "e# o"inie1<<=e>re bot$ being %$allenged. Do! want t$e ideal "istress %reated to yo!r spe%s; >+e got to "eet t$e" toyo!r %o"plete satisfa%tion.<<And yo!r own# 3eg1< or*!e "!r"!red.<ertainly "y own. >" a professional. T$e ob is t$e boss. =ell# Valera1 Agreed1<After anot$er t$o!g$tf!l pa!se# Valera nodded. <Agreed# o"inie.<<)plendid. >ll need yo!r 6ersona 6ro9le fro" t$e syndi%ate.<<@!t of t$e *!estion# o"inie8 6ersona 6ro9les are n+iolable )e%ret. How %an as/ Vorte: to "a/e ane:%eption1<

<a"n it# %an>t yo! !nderstand1< anwrig$t was inf!riated by t$is intrasigen%e b!t %ontrolled $i"self andtried to spea/ reasonably. <y dear %$air"an# >" s$aping and %onditioning t$is Aspasia for yo!r e:%l!si+e!se. )$e will be t$e %ynos!re of all "en# so "!st "a/e s!re t$at s$e>ll be i"planted wit$ an attra%tion foryo!r *!alities and drawn to yo! alone.<<)!rely not all# o"inie. $a+e no del!sions of perfe%tion.<<T$en per$aps to yo!r defe%ts# and t$at will be yo!r %$ar"ing drop of a%id. o"e ba%/ in twenty(onewee/s<<=$y twenty(one spe%i9%ally1<<)$e>ll be of age. y biodroids a+erage o!t at a wee/ of genesis for e+ery p$ysi%al year of t$e %reation>s"at!rity. @ne wee/ for a dog; twenty(one wee/s for an Aspasia. Good day# r. Valera.<After t$e %$air"an $ad left# anwrig$t %o%/ed an eye at

or*!e and grinned. <T$is is going to be a "agni9%ent e:peri"ent# $arles. >+e ne+er generated a tr!ly

%onte"porary biodroid before. Do!>ll pit%$ in and $elp# $ope1<<>ll be $onored# 3eg.< )!ddenly# or*!e ret!rned t$e grin. <B!t t$ere>s one abstr!se referen%e %an>t!nderstand.<<ear not# yo!>ll learn to de%ip$er "e as we go along. =$at don>t yo! !nderstand1<<T$e old saw abo!t t$e %a"el.<anwrig$t b!rst o!t la!g$ing. <=$at1 Ne+er $eard it1 6enalty of spending too "!%$ ti"e on t$e o!terplanets. !estionF =$at is a %a"el1 AnswerF A %a"el is a $orse "ade by a %o""ittee.< He sobered. <B!tby God# o!r gallant girl won>t be any %a"el. )$e>ll be de+astating.<<orgi+e t$e *!estion# 3egF Too de+astating for yo! to resist1<<=$at1 T$at1 No way8 Ne+er8 >+e g!aranteed and deli+ered too "any +irgin "yt$s# deities# naiads#dryads# and so welter. >" seasoned# $arlesF to!g$ and $ard and i"per+io!s to all t$eir l!res. B!t t$ebreasts are going to be a proble"#< $e added absently.<y dear 3eg8 6lease de%ip$er.<

<Her breasts# $arles. Botti%elli "ade >e" too s"all in $is Ven!s. t$in/ s$o!ld progra" >e" f!ller# b!tw$at si?e and s$ape1 Li/e pears1 6o"egranates1 elons1 t>s an aest$eti% perple:ity.<<6er$aps yo!r deliberate error will sol+e it.<<6er$aps# b!t only t$e Good Lord# in w$o" >+e ne+er belie+ed# %an /now w$at $er "ystery /in/ will t!rno!t to be. )ela$8 Let>s get to wor/ on o!r perfe%t "istress# $arles# or# to !se an anti*!e e:pression t$at>s

!st be%o"e a new +og!e word# o!r perfe%t 6opsy< T$e o"inie>s progra" for a de+astating 6opsy w$o was to be en%$anting# tr!stwort$y# loyal# $elpf!l#friendly# %o!r(teo!s# /ind# obedient# %$eerf!l# %le+er# %$i%# soft(spo/en# bea!tif!l# b!sty# elo*!ent on de"and# and alwaysa+ailable to entertain# began as followsFA '&(' 0 0 ,s%ald



B '&(& ' ' '&(S & & ,V)[email protected] '&4 S SE '&(5 4 4 '&(P 5 5 ,Qe dra"G '&(7 P PH '&(U 7 7 ,%ri"ped' '&(- U U

''(' - - ,>? s%r!ple ''(& ,garniL ''(S f U(S ''4 8 ''(U(&N ''(5 ' U(4 ,ea!0 'l9 ''(U(S6 ''(7 W 0(U4 ,)G ''(U X '&(U(&3 ''(- Y '&) 0(& Z ''(U(4 ,only a das$

T 0(S [ 0(U(S2 0(4 '&(U(S2nd so wgiiter for '47 pages. 2nd good l!%/ to t$e %o"p!ter software for %reati+e biogenesis# w$i%$

%o!ldn>t possibly interest anyone.<Anyway# t$ere>s no point in reading t$e progra"# $arles. N!"bers %an>t paint t$e pi%t!re. >ll !stdes%ribe t$e so!r%es >+e !sed for t$e generation of o!r 6opsy. Do! "ay not re%ogni?e so"e of t$e na"es#b!t ass!re yo! t$at "ost of t$e" were +ery real and fa"o!s %elebrities in t$eir ti"e.<

<=$at was yo!r le%t!re to gor t$e ot$er day# 3eg1 A %$ef is no better t$an $is "aterials.> <<3ig$t on. And >" !sing t$e best. Bea!ty (Botti%elli>s Ven!s of %o!rse# b!t wit$ Egyptian breasts. t$o!g$tof !sing 6a!line Borg$ese# b!t t$ere>s a *!een in a li"estone relief fro" t$e 6tole"ai% period w$o>s t$eideal "odel. allipygian rear ele+ation. aiden$air frontispie%e# deli%ate and fritillary. id yo! sayso"et$ing# $arles1<<Not # 3eg.<<>+e de%ided not to !se Aspasia for t$e +irt!es.<<B!t yo! said t$at was w$at Valera wanted.<

<)o did# b!t was wrong. T$e real Aspasia was a da"ned pre"at!re =o"en>s 3ig$ts a%ti+ist. Too strongfor t$e %$air"an>s taste.<<And yo!rs1<<Any "an>s. )o >" !sing Egeria instead.<<Egeria1 $a+en>t $ad an ed!%ation in t$e %lassi%s# 3eg.<<Egeria# t$e legendary fo!ntain ny"p$ w$o was t$e de+oted ad+iser to ing N!"a of an%ient 3o"e. )$ealso possessed t$e gift of prop$e%y; w$i%$ "ig$t %o"e in $andy for Valera. Let>s see. as$ion and %$i%(afa"o!s %o!t!riere na"ed o%o $anel. )!btle per%eptions(t$e one and only ane A!sten. Voi%e andt$eater sense()ara$ Bern$ardt. And s$e>ll add a so!p4;on of lo+ely ew.<<=$at on eart$ for1<<t>s ob+io!s yo! $a+en>t "et "any on t$e o!ter planets or yo! wo!ldn>t as/. 3e"ar/able ra%e# ews;freet$in/ing# original# %reati+e# obstinate# i"possible to li+e wit$ or wit$o!t.<<T$at>s $ow yo! des%ribed t$e ideal "istress# wasn>t it1<

< did.<<B!t if yo!r 6opsy is obstinate# $ow %an s$e respond to Valera>s desires1<<@$# >" !sing Lola onte? for t$at. Apparently# s$e wasa tigress in t$e se: depart"ent. H""". Ne:t1 Vi%toria =ood$!ll for b!siness a%!"en. La 6asionaria for%o!rage. Hester Bate"an (s$e was t$e 9rst wo"an sil+ers"it$(for s/ills. orot$y 6ar/er for wit. loren%eNig$tingale for sa%ri9%e. ata Hari for "ystery. =$at else1<<on+ersation.<<!ite rig$t. @s%ar =ilde.<<@s%ar =ilde8<<=$y not1 He was a brilliant tal/er; $eld dinner parties spellbo!nd. >" gi+ing $er dan%er>s $ands# ne%/ andlegs# olley adison $ostessing# and(>+e o"itted so"et$ing . . . .<



<Do!r deliberate "ista/e.<<@f %o!rse. T$e "ystery /in/ w$i%$ will %at%$ !s all by s!rprise.< anwrig$t Jipped t$ro!g$ t$e software.<t>s progra""ed so"ew$ere aro!nd $ere. No# t$at>s Valera>s 6ersona 6ro9le. $arles# yo! won>t belie+et$e da"ned intransigent# st!bborn# /now(it(all %on%eited ego"ania %on%ealed beneat$ t$at polis$ed+eneer. t>s going to be $ell i"printing o!r girl wit$ an attra%tion engra" for s!%$ an i"possible "an. @$#$ere>s t$e !ne:pe%ted in bla%/ and w$ite.<anwrig$t pointed toF 3\L:VN<=ait a "in!te#< or*!e said slowly. <T$at e*!ation loo/s fa"iliar.<

<A$a.<< t$in/ re"e"ber it fro" one of "y boy$ood te:ts.<<@$($o.<<T$e . . . t$e "ost probable distan%e . . .< or*!e was dredging !p t$e words <. . . fro" t$e la"ppost after a%ertain n!"ber of . . . of irreg!lar t!rns is e*!al to t$e a+erage lengt$ of ea%$ tra%/ t$at is(<<)traig$t tra%/# $arles.<

<3ig$t. Ea%$ straig$t tra%/ t$at is wal/ed# ti"es t$e s*!are root of t$eir n!"ber.< or*!e loo/ed atanwrig$t wit$ a "i:t!re of wonder and a"!se"ent. <onfo!nd yo!# 3eg8 T$at>s t$e sol!tion to t$efa"o!s >r!n/ard>s =al/> proble" fro" T$e Law of isorder. And t$is is t$e deliberate !n%ertainty t$atyo!>re progra""ing1 Do!>re eit$er a "ad"an or a geni!s.<<A little of bot$# $arles. A little of bot$. @!r 6opsy will wal/ straig$t lines wit$in "y para"eters# b!t we>llne+er /now w$en or $ow s$e>ll $ang a rig$t or a left.<

<)!rely s$e>ll be ai"ing for Valera1<<@f %o!rse. He>s t$e la"ppost. B!t s$e>ll do so"e !ne:pe%ted staggering on t$e way.< anwrig$t %$!%/ledand sang in an odd# $!s/y +oi%e# <T$ere>s a la"p on a post# T$ere>s a la"p on a post# And it sets t$e nig$taglowin>. Boy girl boy girl# Boy boy girl girl# B!t best w$en Ja/es is snowin>.<3egis anwrig$t>s laboratory notes pro+ide a less(t$andra"ati% des%ription ,to p!t it politely of t$egenesis and e"bryologi%al de+elop"ent of Galatea Galante# t$e 6erfe%t 6opsy.GE3NALay 'F @ne $!ndred "illiliter loren%e Jas/. ay &F i+e $!ndred "illiliter loren%e Jas/. ay SF @net$o!sand "illiliter loren%e Jas/. ay 4F i+e t$o!sand "illiliter loren%e Jas/. ay 5F e%anted.,E Y A %$arging too da"n "!%$ for Jas/s888,Baby no"inal. $arles en%$anted wit$ $er. Too red for "y taste. 6o!red o!t of t$e a"nion blowingb!bbles and tal/ing. o!ldn>t s$!t $er !p. !st anot$er fres$ /id wit$ a da"n big "o!t$.<3eg# Gally "!st $a+e a n!rse.<

<or $ea+en>s sa/e# $arles8 )$e>ll be a year old ne:t wee/.<<)$e "!st $a+e so"eone to loo/ after $er.<<All rig$t. All rig$t. gor. )$e %an sleep in $is roo".<<No# no# no. He>s a dear %reat!re# b!t $ardly "y idea of a n!rse"aid.<< %an %on+in%e $i" $e "ade $er. He>ll be de+oted.<<No good# 3eg; $e isn>t %$ild oriented<<Do! want so"eone %$ild oriented1 H""". A$# yes. Got !st t$e rig$t n!"ber for yo!. generated T$e @ld=o"an =$o Li+ed in a )$oe for t$e 6ositi+ely 6eerless "itation 6lasti% %o"pany to !se in t$eir gen!ineplasti%s sales pro"otion.<<>)$e $ad so "any %$ildren s$e didn>t /now w$at to do>1<<T$e sa"e.< anwrig$t p!n%$ed t$e B /eyboard. <)eanb$ean1 T$is is 3egis.<

T$e s%reen spar/led and %leared. A gypsy %rone appeared wit$ begging $and o!tstret%$ed for al"s.<How>s e+eryt$ing going# )eanb$ean1<

<)%anr!il ad!afar# 3egis.<=$y1M<Brisead$ ina g$no e.<<=$at8 666 gone ban/r!pt1 T$at>s s$o%/ing. )o yo!>re o!t of a ob1<<eanfaid$ sin8<<=ell per$aps $a+e so"et$ing for yo!# )eanb$ean. >+e !st generated(<<!t o# 3eg#< or*!e bro/e in s$arply.anwrig$t was so startled by or*!e>s tone t$at $e obeyed and loo/ed !p perple:edly. <on>t t$in/ s$e>lldo# $arles1<<T$at old $ag1 @!t of t$e *!estion.<<)$e isn>t old#< anwrig$t protested. <)$e>s !nder t$irty.



"ade $er loo/ li/e t$at a%%ording to t$e spe%sF )e+entyyear(old ris$ gypsy. t$ey %all >e" tin/ers> inreland. )pea/s ris$ and %an $andle /id a%tors w$o are a pain in t$e ass. And deli+ered# by God.<<As yo! always do; b!t still o!t of t$e *!estion. 6lease try so"eone else.<<$arles# $as t$at da"n infant got yo! ent$ralled1<<No.<<Her 9rst %on*!est# and s$e>s !st o!t of t$e Jas/8 an yo! i"agine w$at s$e>ll do to "en in anot$ertwenty wee/s1 Be at ea%$ ot$er>s t$roats. ig$ting d!els. Ha8 a" a geni!s# and don>t deny it.<

<=e need a n!rse for Gally# 3eg.<<Nag# nag# nag.<<)o"eone war" and %o"forting after t$e %$ild $as end!red a session wit$ yo!.<< %an>t t$in/ w$at t$e "an is i"plying. All rig$t# %radlesnat%$er# all rig$t. >ll %all la!dia.< anwrig$tp!n%$ed t$e B. <)$e>s war" and "aternal and prote%ti+e. =is$ s$e>d been "y nanny. Hello1 la!dia1 t>s3egis. )wit%$ on# darling.< T$e s%reen spar/led and %leared. T$e "agni9%ent $ead and fa%e of a bla%/"o!ntain gorilla appeared.<88< s$e gr!nted.<>" sorry# lo+e. Been too b!sy to %all. Do!>re loo/ing well. How>s t$at no(good $!sband of yo!rs1<<And t$e /ids1<.P8tiM<)plendid. Now don>t forget. Do! pro"ised to send t$e" to "e so %an s!rgify t$e" into !nderstanding o!r/ind of spee%$. )a"e li/e yo!# lo+e# and no %$arge. And spea/ing of /ids# >+e got a new one# a girl# t$at >d

li/e yo! to(<At t$is point t$e st!nned or*!e %olle%ted $i"self eno!g$ to press t$e %!to st!d. la!dia faded.<Are yo! "ad1< $e de"anded.anwrig$t was bewildered. <=$at>s wrong# $arles1<<Do! s!ggest t$at terrifying beast for t$e %$ild>s n!rse1<<Beast8 )$e>s an angel of "ot$er lo+e. )$e>ll $a+e t$e /id %li"bing all o+er $er# $!gging and /issing $er.t>s interesting#< $e reJe%ted# < %an "anip!late t$e %ognition %enters# b!t %an>t o+er%o"e "!s%!larli"itations. ga+e la!dia %ollege(le+el %o"pre$ension of spo/en and written %o""!ni%ations# b!t %o!ldn>t gi+e $er $!"an spee%$. )$e>s still for%ed to !se o!ntain# w$i%$ is $ardly a lang!age of ideas.a"n fr!strating. or bot$ of !s.<<And yo! a%t!ally want $er to "ot$er Gally1<<@f %o!rse. =$y not1<<Do!r la!dia will frig$ten t$e daylig$ts o!t of t$e infant.<

<3idi%!lo!s.<<)$e>s $ideo!s.<<Are yo! "ad1 )$e>s bea!tif!l. 6!re. aesti%. And a $ell of a lot brig$ter t$an yo!r 3e"edial Table nnisb!"s 7# at )yrt!s 2ni+ersity.<<B!t s$e %an>t tal/. )$e only gr!nts.<<Tal/1 Tal/1 or God>s sa/e. $arles8 T$at da"n red 6opsy was po!red o!t tal/ing si:teen to t$e do?en. =e%an>t s$!t $er !p. )$e>s 9lling t$e $o!se wit$ eno!g$ of $er abber as it is. Be gratef!l for so"e silen%e.<)o la!dia# t$e bla%/ "o!ntain gorilla# "o+ed into t$e anwrig$t "enage# and gor was f!rio!sly ealo!s.

T$e 9rst "orning t$at la!dia oined anwrig$t and or*!e at brea/fast ,w$ile gor glowered at $is"assi+e ri+al# s$e printed a "essage on a pad and $anded it to t$eo"inieF 3 D2 GV G TLT T3G N D3 63G31#<Let>s see if re"e"ber yo!r abbre+iations# darling. id yo! . . . t$at>s "e . . . gi+e Galatea . . . yes# toilettraining

in yo!r progra"1 y God# la!dia8 ga+e $er t$e best of 47 wo"en. )!rely at least one of t$e" "!st $a+ebeen toilet trained.<BD 63)<By w$at# la!dia1<<B!y diapers# 3eg.<<@$. Ali. @f %o!rse. T$an/ yo!# $arles. T$an/ yo!# la!dia. ore %oee# lo+e1 t>s fr!strating# $arles.!s%!lar dyspra:ia again. la!dia %an "anage %aps in $er writing b!t s$e %an>t $a%/ lower %ase. How"any diapers# la!dia1<' K<3ig$t. @ne do?. K! Befe$l. id yo! bring yo!r /ids to play wit$ t$e baby1<



T@ @<Too odd for w$at1<

T@@ @L<Do!r /ids1<G<=$at1 Galatea1 Too old for yo!r boys1 And still in diapers1 >d best see for "yself.<@ne of t$e top(Joor bedroo"s $ad been %on+erted into a n!rsery. T$e !s!al biodroid %ellara%%o""odations weren>t good eno!g$ for anwrig$t>s "agn!" op!s. =$en t$e o"ini% entered wit$

la!dia# t$e red infant was on t$e Joor# Jat on $er belly# propped on a pillow# and deep in a boo/. )$eloo/ed !p and %rawled ent$!siasti%ally to la!dia.<Nanny dear# >+e fo!nd t$e answer# t$e old linear s$ort$and. !st slas$es# dots# and das$es# and yo! won>t$a+e to worry yo!r $and and $ead o+er %!rsi+e abbre+iations. t>s a si"ple style# and we %an pra%ti%etoget$er.< )$e %li"bed !p on la!dia and /issed $er lo+ingly. <@ne wo!ld t$in/ t$is "ig$t $a+e o%%!rred tot$at egotisti%al /now(it(all w$osena"e es%apes "e.< T$e infant t!rned $er a!b!rn $ead. <=$y# good "orning# o"ini% anwrig$t. =$at an!npleasant s!rprise.<<Do!>re rig$t# la!dia#< anwrig$t growled. <)$e>s too da"ned old for yo!r /ids. iaper $er.<<y sp$in%ter will be !nder %ontrol by to"orrow# o"inie#< Galatea said sweetly. <an yo! say t$e sa"efor yo!r tong!e1<<G!$8< And anwrig$t wit$drew wit$ w$at $e $oped was i"pressi+e dignity.@f %o!rse# s$e s$ot !p li/e a yo!ng ba"boo plant and 9lled t$e $o!se wit$ oy as s$e entertained t$e"

wit$ $er es%apades. )$e ta!g$t $erself to play anwrig$t>s 3egen%y $arpsi%$ord# w$i%$ was sadly o!t ofrepair. )$e %on+in%ed gor t$at it was a "onster in t$e "a/ing# and toget$er t$ey re9nis$ed and t!ned it.

T$e so!nd of %on%ert(A on t$e t!ning for/ droned t$ro!g$ t$e $o!se wit$ agoni?ing penetration. T$eot$ers were for%ed to eat o!t be%a!se s$e ga+e gor no ti"e for %oo/ing.)$e st!died linear s$ort$and wit$ la!dia and t$en translated it into 9nger lang!age. T$ey $ad glorio!sraps# silently tal/ing to ea%$ ot$er !ntil anwrig$t banned t$e %onstant 9nger waggling# w$i%$ $edeno!n%ed as a da"ned in+asion of +ision. T$ey si"ply $eld $ands and tal/ed into ea%$ ot$er>s pal" int$eir se%ret %ode# and anwrig$t was too pro!d to as/ w$at t$ey were gossiping abo!t.<As if >d get an answer anyway#< $e growled to or*!e.<>yo! t$in/ t$at>s $er "ystery s!rprise# 3eg1<<a"ned if /now. )$e>s !ne:pe%ted eno!g$ as it is. 3otten /id8<)$e stole li*!id li%ori%e fro" gor>s sa%red pantry and tarred $erself; p$osp$oro!s fro" anwrig$t>s sa%redlaboratory and irradiated $erself. )$e b!rst into or*!e>s dar/ bedroo" at t$ree in t$e "orning# $owling#

<E

ETH@6HDTE @THE3 3@ GANNDEED8 D@2 LL ALL D HLE3)# ALEN NVAE3 3@ @2T)E )6AE8 N@= E LL D@28<or*!e let o!t a yell and t$en %o!ldn>t stop la!g$ing for t$e rest of t$e day. <T$e bea!tif!l s$o%/ of t$eapparition# 3eg8< anwrig$t didn>t t$in/ it was f!nny.<T$at da"ned %$ild is gi+ing "e real nig$t"ares#< $e %o"plained. < /eep drea"ing t$at >" lost in t$eGrand Teton "o!ntains and 3ed ndians are %$asing "e.<)$e snea/ed !p into t$e sa%red pent$o!se and de%orated t$e robotli/e ne!trinos%ope wit$ ite"s stolenfro" anwrig$t>s wardrobe. T$e %onstr!%t ass!"ed a l!di%ro!s rese"blan%e to t$e o"inie $i"self.

T$e inno%ent %$ild fast(tal/ed E Y A $e"i%al deli+ery<y addy forgot to order it. )o absent("inded# yo!/now<(into an e:tra gallon of et$yl al%o$ol w$i%$ s$e po!red into t$e "arble pool and got t$e piran$asdisg!stingly dr!n/. T$en s$e !"ped in and was dis%o+ered Joating wit$ $er plastered pals.

<oesn>t /now t$e "eaning of fear# 3eg.<<6a$8 !st t$e 6assionaria progra""ed.<)$e stole two $!ndred "eters of "agneti% tape fro" t$e library and fas$ioned a s%are%row "obile. T$egardener was enrapt!red. anwrig$t was inf!riated# parti%!larly be%a!se art(dealer friends oered $!gea"o!nts for t$e %reation.<B!t t$at>s $er %$ar"ing !ne:pe%ted# 3eg. Gally>s a born artist.<<Li/e $ell s$e is. T$at>s only t$e Hester Bate"an ga+e $er. No L : . N yet. And t$e nig$t"ares are%ontin!ing in se*!en%e. T$ose da"ned 3ed ndians $a+e %!t "e o at t$e pass.<la!dia too/ Galatea to $er $o"e# w$ere t$e girl got onfa"o!sly wit$ la!dia>s two sons and bro!g$t t$e" to anwrig$t>s $o!se to de"onstrate a new dan%ew$i%$ s$e>d de+ised %alledF <T$e Ant$ro H!stle.< t was perfor"ed to a song s$e>d %o"posed entitledF



<=$o 6!t t$e )nat%$ on Gorilla Baby1< w$i%$ s$e banged o!t fortissi"o!sly on t$e $arpsi%$ord.<Bring ba%/ t$e t!ning for/#< anwrig$t "!ttered.or*!e was appla!ding ent$!siasti%ally. <!si%>s $er s!rprise /in/# 3eg.<<all t$at "!si%1<or*!e too/ $er to $is )at!rn ir%!s# w$ere s$e "es"eri?ed $i" into letting $er try riding bareba%/ andleaping t$ro!g$ b!rning $oops# a%ting as target for a /nife t$rower# trape?e aerobati%s# and t$r!sting $era!b!rn $ead into a lion>s "o!t$. He %o!ldn>t !nderstand $ow s$e>d pers!aded $i" to let $er ta/e s!%$$orrifying ris/s.

<6er$aps %aolery>s $er "ystery *!ality#< $e s!ggested. <B!t s$e did "ira%!lo!sly well# 3eg. y $eart wasin "y "o!t$. Gally ne+er t!rned a $air. 6!re aplo"b. )$e>s a "agni9%ent %reation. Do!>+e generated a)!per(6opsy for Valera.<<G!$.<<o!ld $er !ne:pe%ted /in/ be psy%$i%1<<T$e reds/ins $a+e got "e s!rro!nded#< anwrig$t fretted. He see"ed strangely disoriented.=$at dist!rbed $i" "ost were t$e daily t!toring sessions wit$ t$e yo!ng lady. n+ariably t$ey degeneratedinto bi%/ering and bit%$ing# wit$ t$e o"inie !s!ally getting t$e worst of it.<=$en o!r last session ended in anot$er bit%$ we bot$ stea"ed for t$e library door#< $e told or*!e. <said# Age before bea!ty# "y dear#> w$i%$ yo! "!st ad"it was gra%io!s# and started o!t. T$at red 6opsysnip said# 6earls before swine#> and swaggered past "e li/e a gladiator w$o>s

wiped an entire arena.<

<)$e>s wonderf!l8< or*!e la!g$ed.<@$# yo!>re insanely biased. )$e>s been twisting yo! aro!nd $er 9ngers sin%e t$e "o"ent s$e waspo!red.<<And gor and la!dia and $er two boys and t$e B repair and t$e pl!"ber and t$e ele%troni%s and t$egardener and t$e la!ndry and E Y A $e"i%al and $alf "y %ir%!s1 All insanely biased1<<E+idently >" t$e only sanity s$e %an>t snow. Do! /now t$e si"ple psy%$ologi%al tr!t$# $arles; we>realways a%%!sing ot$ers of o!r own fa!lts. T$at sa!%ebo: $as t$e i"p!den%e to %all "e intransigent#st!bborn# /now(it(all# %on%eited. e8 @!t of $er own "o!t$. E.<<ig$tn>t it be t$e ot$er way aro!nd# 3eg1<<o try to "a/e sense# $arles. And now t$at t$e Grand Teton breastwor/s are "a/ing $er top($ea+y ,t$in/ "aybe was a little too genero!s wit$ "y Egyptian progra""ing t$ere>ll be no li+ing wit$ $er+anity. =o"en ta/e t$e da"ned d!"best pride in t$e t$r!st of t$e boo?al!"s.<<Now 3eg# yo! e:aggerate. Gally /nows we>d all adore $er e+en if s$e were Jat%$ested.<

< /now >" doing a professional ob# and /now s$e $as too "!%$ ego in $er %os"os. B!t ne:t wee/ westart s%$lepping $er to parties# openings# tal/(ins# ro!ts# and s!%$ to train $er for Valera. T$at o!g$t to ta/e$er down a peg. T$e 3ed ndians $a+e got "e tied to a sta/e#< $e added gloo"ily.<anapes1<<>6a e+a$ so. La$+ely pa$ty# s. Galante.<<T$an/ yo!# Lady Agat$a. anapes1<<Gra?ie# )ignorina.<<6rego# o""endatore. anapes1<<A dan/# "eyd>'. Lang leb>n ?olt it.<<Nito far +!s# General. Hot %anapes# dear 6rofessor or*!e1<<T$an/ yo!# adorable $ostess. gor>s1<<ine.<<And perfe%tion. on>t be afraid of t$e artian %o!ns!l. He won>t bite.<

<anapes# >sie!r ons!l1<<A$8 ais o!i8 er%i# ade"oiselle GallPe. !e pense?+o!s d! l!"ine!: o"inie anwrig$t1<<>est !n type tres %o"petent.<<@!i. 3o"anes*!e# "ais for"idable"ent %o"petent.<<!oi1 anwrig$t1 3o"anes*!e1 Vo!s "e gene?# "on %$er %ons!l.<<a foi# o!i# ro"anes*!e# ade"oiselle Gallee. >est !ste"ent son %ote ro"anes*!e *!i l!i %a!se d! "ala se tro!+er !ne fe""e.<<T$ese da"n do>s are a drag# $arles.<<B!t isn>t s$e wonderf!l1<<And t$ey>re "a/ing "y nig$t"ares worse. A se:y ndian s*!aw tore "y %lot$es o last nig$t.<<i interesso parti%olar"ente ai libri di fantas%ien?a# "agia(orrore# !"oris"o# narrati+a# att!alita# 9loso9a



so%ialogia#a %atti+o# p!trido 3egis anwrig$t.<<$arles# t$is is t$e last literary tal/(in e+er attend.<<id yo! see $ow Gally $andled t$ose talian p!blis$ers1<<Des# gibes at "y e:pense. )$e p!t iron %laws on $er $ands.<<y dear 3eg# Gally did no s!%$ t$ing.<< was referring to t$at se:y s*!aw.<<Entao agora sabes dander1<<)i". an*o# falo "isera+el"ente "!%$as ling!as# es(

t!do %ien%ia a 9loso9a# es%re+o !"a la"enta+al poesia# estoiro"e %o" e:perien%ias idiotas# egri"o %o"o!n lo!%o# ogo so bo:e %o"o !p pal$a%o. E" s!"a# son a %elebra bioroid# Galatea Galante# de o"inieanwrig$t.<<)$e was "agni9%ent dan%ing wit$ t$at 6ort!g!ese prin%e# 3eg.< <6ort!g!ese pon%e# yo! "ean.< <on>t be

ealo!s.< <)$e>s $eating t$e %laws in a da"ned %a"p9re# $arles.<<idn>t yo! e+er 9g$t ba%/# )andy1< r(S(#<Des# /now# $e>s a b!lly. B!t all b!llies are %owards at $eart. Do! s$o!ld $a+e fo!g$t $i" to a standstill#li/e "e. id $e e+er "a/e a pass at yo!1< r S (#<2$($!$. e neit$er. He>s an arrogant ego"ania%# too "!%$ in lo+e wit$ $i"self to lo+e anyone else.<

]T s](\9(\<=$at# )andy1 e1 Gi+e t$e %o"e(on to t$at dreadf!l "an1 Ne+er8 id yo!1<2$($!$. And $e didn>t e+en $a+e to las$ $i"self to t$e "ast. %eberg ity. A$# r. essa"y. )o sweet of

yo! to gi+e !s yo!r bo: for t$e %on%ert. >+e !st been %o"paring noteswit$ yo!r adorable wife on o!r %o""on ene"y# w$ose na"es es%apes "e. He>s t$e gentle"an on "yrig$t# w$o slept t$ro!g$ t$e o?art.<<And drea"ed t$at s$e>s tort!ring "e wit$ $er b!rning %laws# $arles# all o+er "y bod.<<an ne$"eF ?wei Teile )elbstgefallig/eit# ?wei Teile )elbsts!%$t# einen Teil Eitel/eit# and einen Teil Esel#"is%$e /raftig# 9ige etwas Ge$ei"nis $in?!# and "an er$aalt o"inie 3egis anwrig$t.<<Espe%ially "y pri+ate parts.<<o"inie anwrig$t>s biodroid esta al dia en s! "anera de tratar los neologis"os# palabras %olo*!iales#giro y "odis"os# %li%=s y ter"inos de argot# )enor. Do soy Galatea Galante# la biodroid.<<T$an/ yo!# "ada"e. a" not )panis$; "erely ad"ire and respe%t t$e old astilian style.<<@$. )%!se "e# %$orley g!y. Do! tollerday dons/1<He b!rst o!t la!g$ing. < see yo!>re +ery "!%$ wit$ t$e %lassi%s# "ada"e. Let "e t$in/. Des. T$e properresponse in t$at a"es oy%e litany is N.> <

<Do! tal/ati s%owegian1<<Nn.<<Do! spigotty anglease1<<Nnn.<<Do! p$onio sa:o1<<Nnnn.<<lear all so. >Tis a !te. Let !s swop $ats and e:%$e%/ a few strong +erbs wea/ oa%$ eat$er yapya??ard.<<Bra+a# "ada"e8 Bra+issi"a8<)$e tilted $er a!b!rn $ead and loo/ed at $i" strangely.

<Against "y will#< s$e said slowly# <>" %o"pelled to in+ite yo! to a dinner party tonig$t.<<ore %lassi%s# "ada"e1 T$e Beatri%e and Benedi%t s%ene fro" !%$ Ado Abo!t Not$ing1<<No# it>s t$e Galatea and( don>t /now yo!r na"e.<

<Valera. Antony Valera.<<t>s t$e Galatea and Valera s%ene. an yo! %o"e1<<=it$ delig$t.<<=$en t$is bas$ is 9nis$ed >ll gi+e yo! t$e address.<< /now it# Galatea.<<y friends %all "e Gally. How do yo! /now "y address1 =e>+e ne+er "et.<< %ontra%ted wit$(>" a%*!ainted wit$ o"inie anwrig$t. Gally. Tonig$t1 Eig$t o>%lo%/1<<Eig$t tonig$t.<<ress party1<<@ptional.< )$e s$oo/ $er $ead di??ily. < don>t /now w$at>s got into "e# Valera. T$e "o"ent saw yo! att$is %la"ba/e /new $ad to see yo! again# inti"ately. >" possessed8<



<=$at1<<)$e>s pregnant# yo! godda"n pi"p. T$e bit%$ $as been

sleeping aro!nd# and want to /now t$e st!d w$o /no%/ed $er !p. He>s got plenty %o"ing.<After a long pa!se# anwrig$t as/ed# <Are yo! !nder a psy%$iatrist>s %are1<<on>t be ridi%!lo!s.<<No "ore ridi%!lo!s t$an yo!r slander. Galatea pregnant1 y lo+ely# tastef!l yo!ng lady sleeping aro!ndwit$ st!ds1 Do!>re ob+io!sly *!ite "ad. Go.<

<ad# a" 1 3idi%!lo!s1 Do! %an>t see t$at s$e>s pregnant1 l$rn $er aro!nd and loo/ at $er fa%e in t$is!ltralig$t. Loo/ at $er8<<>ll go t$ro!g$ t$e "otions only to get rid of yo!.<anwrig$t s"iled at Galatea as $e t!rned t$e girl aro!nd. <!st a gest!re# lo+e. Do!>ll $a+e yo!r dignityba%/ in a "o"ent# and swear yo!>ll ne+er lose it ag(<His words were %!t o# as if by a g!illotine. n t$e !ltralig$t fro" t$e glowing pool t$ere was no "ista/ingt$e dar/ pregnan%y band a%ross Galatea>s fa%e# si"ilar to t$e banded "as/ of a ra%oon. He too/ a slowdeep breat$ and answered t$e %onf!sion in $er eyes by pla%ing a $and o+er $er "o!t$.<Go# Valera. T$is is now a fa"ily aair.<< de"and an answer. won>t lea+e !ntil /now w$o it was. Do!r $alf(wit $!n%$ba%/# gor# probably. %anpi%t!re t$e" in bed; t$e slobbering idiot and t$e(<anwrig$t>s interr!ption was an e:plosion. He $!rled Galatea into la!dia>s ar"s# dro+e a /nee intoLarson>s groin# tore t$e laser away fro" t$e %on+!lsed "an# w$ipped Valera a%ross t$e ne%/ wit$ t$e

barrel# and $eld t$e staggering %$air"an o+er t$e edge of t$e pool.<T$e piran$as are star+ing#< $e "!r"!red# <o yo! go in or get o!t1<After t$e syndi%ate $ad left# not wit$o!t dire pro"ises# anwrig$t t!rned !p t$e $o!se lig$ts ande:ting!is$ed t$epool !ltralig$t and# wit$ t$at# t$e pregnan%y stig"a banding Galatea>s fa%e. n a strange way t$ey were allrelie+ed.<Not to play t$e distri%t attorney#< $e said# <b!t "!st /now $ow it $appened.<<How w$at $appened1< Galatea de"anded.<)weet$eart# yo! are pregnant.<<No# no# no8<< /now it %an>t be anyone in t$is $o!se. la!dia# $as s$e been pro"is%!o!s o!tside1<N@<How %an yo! as/ s!%$ *!estions8<

<Has Galatea been alone wit$ a "an in a possibly inti"ate sit!ation1<<Do!>re $atef!l8<N@<3eg# we all /now t$at. =e>+e %$aperoned Gally e+ery "o"ent o!tside# yo!# "e# la!dia.<<Not e+ery "o"ent. $arles. t %o!ld $a+e $appened wit$ t$is inno%ent in 9+e "in!tes.<<B!t not$ing e+er $appened wit$ a "an8 Not$ing8 E+er8<<ear lo+e# yo! are pregnant.<< %an>t be.<<Do! are# !ndeniably. $arles1<<Gally. adore yo!# no "atter w$at# b!t 3eg is rig$t. T$e pregnan%y band is !ndeniable.<<B!t >" a +irgin.<<la!dia1<H3 N) HV )T@6T <Her w$at $a+e stopped<

or*!e sig$ed. <Her "enses# 3eg.<<A$ so.<<>" a +irgin# yo! wi%/ed# detestable "en. A +irgin8<anwrig$t too/ $er franti% fa%e in $is $ands. <)weet$eart# no re%ri"inations# no p!nis$"ents# noo+entry# b!t

"!st /now w$ere slipped !p# $ow it $appened. =$o were yo! wit$# w$ere and w$en1<<>+e ne+er been wit$ any "an# anyw$ere or anyw$en.<<Ne+er1<<Ne+er . . . e:%ept in "y drea"s.<<rea"s1< anwrig$t s"iled. <All girls $a+e t$e". T$at>s not w$at "ean# dear.<



3 AB 2 )H N<aybe s$o!ld "ean w$at# la!dia1<LT H3 TL 2 H3 3)<Let $er tell "e $er drea"s1 =$y1<

)T L)N<All rig$t# >ll listen. Tlrll "e abo!t yo!r drea"s# lo+e.<<No. T$ey>re pri+ate property.<<la!dia wants "e to $ear t$e".<

<)$e>s t$e only one >+e e+er told. >" as$a"ed of t$e".<la!dia 9ngerwagged. <Tell $i"# Gally. Do! don>t /now $ow i"portant t$ey are.<<No8<<Galatea Galante# are yo! going to disobey yo!r nanny1 a" ordering yo! to tell yo!r drea"s.<<6lease# nanny. No. T$ey>re eroti%.<< /now# dear. T$at>s w$y t$ey>re i"portant. Do! "!st tell.<At lengt$# Galatea w$ispered# <6!t o!t t$e lig$ts# please.< T$e fas%inated or*!e obliged.n t$e dar/ness# s$e began# <T$ey>re eroti%. T$ey>re disg!sting. >" so as$a"ed. T$ey>re always t$e sa"e .. . and >" always as$a"ed . . . b!t %an>t stop ....<T$ere>s a "an# a pale "an# a "oonlig$t "an# and . . . want $i". want $i" to . . . to $andle "e andra+is$ "e into e%stasy# b(b!t $e doesn>t want "e# so $e r!ns# and %$ase $i". And %at%$ $i". T$(t$ereare so"e sort of friends w$o $elp "e %at%$ $i" and tie $i" !p. And t$ent$ey go away and lea+e "e alone wit$ t$e "oonlig$t "an# and . . . and do to $i" w$at wanted to $i"

to do to "e ....< T$ey %o!ld $ear $er tre"bling and r!stling in $er %$air.Very %aref!lly# anwrig$t as/ed# <=$o is t$is "oonlig$t "an# Galatea1<< don>t /now.<<B!t yo!>re drawn to $i"1<<@$ yes. Des8 always want $i".<<!st $i" alone# or are t$ere ot$er "oonlig$t "en1<<@nly $i". He>s all e+er want.<<B!t yo! don>t /now w$o $e is. n t$e drea"s do yo! /now w$o yo! are1<<e. !st "e.<<As yo! are in real life1<<Des# e:%ept t$at >" dressed dierent.<<ierent1 How1<

<Beads and . . . and b!%/s/in wit$ fringe.< T$ey all $eard anwrig$t gasp.<6er$aps li/e . . . li/e a 3ed ndian# Galatea1<< ne+er t$o!g$t of t$at. Des. >" an ndian# an ndian s*!aw !p in t$e "o!ntains# and "a/e lo+e to t$epalefa%e e+ery nig$t.<<@$. y. God.< T$e words were s*!ee?ed o!t of anwrig$t. <T$ey>re no drea"s.< )!ddenly $e roared#<Lig$t8 Gi+e "e lig$t# $arles8 gor8 Lig$t8<

T$e brilliant lig$ts re+ealed $i" standing and s$a/ing# "oonlig$t pale in s$o%/. <@$ "y God# "y God# "yGod8< He was al"ost in%o$erent. <ear God# w$at $a+e %reated1<<a$t$(ter8<<3eg8 <<on>t yo! !nderstand1 /now la!dia s!spe%ted; t$at>s w$y s$e "ade Galatea tell "e $er drea"s.<

<B(b!t t$ey>re only dirty drea"s#< Galatea wailed. <=$at %o!ld possibly be t$e $ar"1<<a"n yo! and da"n "e8 T$ey were not drea"s. T$ey were reality in disg!ise. T$at>s t$e $ar". T$at>s$ow yo!r drea"s lo%/ in wit$ "y nig$t"ares# w$i%$ were reality# too. $risti >+e generated a "onster8<<Now %al" yo!rself# 3eg# and do try to "a/e sense.<< %an>t. T$ere>s no sense in it. T$ere>s not$ing b!t t$at l!nati% drop of a%id pro"ised Valera.<<T$e "ystery s!rprise in $er1<<Do! /ept wondering w$at it was# $arles. =ell# now yo! /now# if yo! %an interpret t$e e+iden%e.<<=$at e+iden%e1<anwrig$t for%ed $i"self into a sort of t$!ndero!s %ontrol. < drea"ed was p!rs!ed and %a!g$t by 3edndians# tied !p# and ra+is$ed by a se:y s*!aw. told yo!. Des1<<Des. nter"inably.<



<Galatea drea"s s$e>s a 3ed ndian s*!aw# p!rs!ing# %apt!ring# and ra+is$ing a palefa%e s$e desires. Do!$eard $er1<< $eard $er.<<id s$e /now abo!t "y drea"s1<< <No.<id /now abo!t $ers1<< <

No.<oin%iden%e1<<6ossibly.<<=o!ld yo! %are to bet on t$at possibility1<<No.<<And t$ere yo! $a+e it. T$ose drea"s> were sleep +ersions or distortions of w$at was really $appening;so"et$ing w$i%$ neit$er of !s %o!ld fa%e awa/e. Galatea>s been %o"ing into "y bed e+ery nig$t# andwe>+e been "a/ing lo+e.<<"possible8<<s s$e pregnant1<<Des.<<And >" Valera>s lo+er(boy# t$e st!d responsible. y pGod8 y God8<

<3eg# t$is is o!tlandis$. la!dia# $as Gally e+er left $er bed nig$ts1<N@<T$ere8<<a"n it# >" not tal/ing abo!t a %on+entional# $!"an wo"an. didn>t generate one. >" tal/ing abo!t anot$erworld %reat!re w$ose psy%$e is as p$ysi%ally real as $er body# %an "ateriali?e o!t of it# a%%o"plis$ itsdesires# and a"alga"ate again. An e"otional do!ble as real as t$e Jes$. Do!>+e pestered "e abo!t t$edeliberate !ne:pe%ted in "y progra""ing. =ell# $ere>s t$e 3 \ L : # N. Galatea>s a s!%%!b!s.<<A w$at1<<A s!%%!b!s. A se:y fe"ale de"on. 6erfe%tly $!"an by day. o"pletely %onfor"ist. B!t wit$ t$e spe%tralpower to %o"e# li/e a %arnal %lo!d# to "en in t$eir sleep# nig$ts# and sed!%e t$e".<<No8< Galatea %ried in despair. <>" not t$at. %an>t be.<<And s$e doesn>t e+en /now it. )$e>s an !n%ons%io!s de"on. T$e la!g$>s on "e# $arles#< anwrig$t saidr!ef!lly. <By God# w$en do glit%$ it>s a bea!ty. /no%/ "yself o!t progra""ing t$e 6erfe%t 6opsy wit$ an

engra" for Valera# and s$e r!ins e+eryt$ing by swit%$ing $er passion to "e.<<No s!rprise. Do!>re +ery "!%$ ali/e.<<>" in no "ood for o/es. And t$en Galatea t!rns o!t to be a s!%%!b!s w$o doesn>t /now it and $as $erwill of "e in > o!r sleep e+ery nig$t.<<No# no8 T$ey were drea"s. rea"s8<<=ere t$ey1 =ere t$ey1< anwrig$t was $a+ing diC%!lty %ontrolling $is i"patien%e wit$ $er da"nedobt!seness.

<How else did yo! get yo!rself pregnant# e$; en%einte# gra+ida# /no%/ed !p1 on>t yo! dare arg!e wit$ "eyo! i"p!dent red sa!%ebo:8 Do! /now#< $e reJe%ted# <t$ere s$o!ld $a+e been a s"idgen of argaret)anger in t$e progra""ing. Ne+er o%%!rred to "e.<He was ba%/ to $is fa"iliar i"possible self# and e+erybody rela:ed.<=$at now# 3eg1<

<@$# >ll "arry t$e snip# of %o!rse. an>t let a dangero!s %reat!re li/e Galatea o!t of t$e $o!se.<<@!t of yo!r life# yo! "ean1<<Ne+er8< Galatea s$o!ted. <Ne+er8 arry yo!# yo! dreadf!l# i"possible# %on%eited# b!llying# /now(it(all#wi%/ed "an1 Ne+er8 f >" a de"on# w$at are yo!1 o"e# la!dia.<

T$e two wo"en went +ery *!i%/ly !pstairs.<Are yo! serio!s abo!t "arrying Gally# 3eg1<<ertainly# $arles. >" no Valera. don>t want a relations$ip wit$ a popsy# no "atter $ow perfe%t.<<B!t do yo! lo+e $er1<< lo+e all "y %reations.<<Answer t$e *!estion. o yo! lo+e Gally# as a "an lo+es a wo"an1<<T$at se:y s!%%!b!s1 T$at nai+e de"on1 Lo+e $er1 Abs!rd8 No# all want is t$e legal rig$t to tie $er to a



sta/e e+ery nig$t# w$en >" awa/e. Ha8<or*!e la!g$ed. < see yo! do# and >" +ery $appy for yo! bot$. B!t# yo! /now# yo!>ll $a+e to %o!rt $er.<<=$at8 o!rt1 T$at i"pertinent brat1<<y dear 3eg# %an>t yo! grasp t$at s$e isn>t a %$ild any"ore1 )$e>s a grown yo!ng wo"an wit$ %$ara%terand pride.<<Des# s$e>s $ad yo! in t$rall sin%e t$e "o"ent s$e was po!red#< anwrig$t growled. T$en $e sig$ed anda%%epteddefeat. <B!t s!ppose yo!>re rig$t. y dear gor8<

<Here# "a$t$(ter.<<6lease set !p t$at table again. res$ ser+i%e# %andles# Jowers# and see if yo! %an sal+age t$e "onstersyo! %reated for t$e dinner. =$ite glo+es.<<No braint$# "a$t$(ter1<<Not t$is e+ening. see t$e o!ton 3ot$s%$ild>s been s"as$ed. Anot$er bottle# please. And t$en "y%o"pli"ents to s. Galatea Galante# and will s$e $a+e t$e forgi+eness to dine# a de!:# wit$ a "ost%ontrite s!itor. 6resent $er wit$ a %orsage fro" "e . . . so"et$ing or%$idy. T$is will be a f!n ne%ro"an%e.$arles#< $e "!sed. <6arsley# sage# rose"ary# and t$y"e# ale+ai. an and e"on. @!r boys will be de+ils#sor%ery says# and t$e girls wit%$es. B!t aren>t t$ey all1<

alfred bester - galatea galante

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