bulletin december 2011

Congregation B’nai Israel2710 Park AvenueBridgeport, CT 06604www.congregationbnaiisrael.org

Volume 153, Number 5 Kislev/Tevet 5772 December 2011

Ben Behind His Voices: One Family’s Journey from the Chaos of Schizophrenia to Hope

Family Education at B’nai Israel

Shabbat by the Book—Friday, December 9

6:00 Kabbalat Shabbat 7:15 Shabbat Dinner (Reservations and an $18.00 fee are required

for dinner only)8:15 Program

This is a very special Friday night series in which we focus on authors connected to B’nai Israel with new books and powerful things to teach. This month we are joined by Randye Kaye, a devoted congregant, radio personality, voiceover coach, and now author. Her account of a son’s experiences through every stage of illness and treatment provides unique insights into schizophrenia, as well as mental illness in general, and the way it affects individuals and families. RSVP to the office at 203-336-1858 by Tuesday, December 6.

Mishpacha Shabbat Friday, December 2 at 6:30 p.m. Join your fellow B’nai Israel families for our monthly Shabbat family experience, which includes dinner and Shabbat celebration in song, service, and story. We provide the main dish. You bring a side dish or dessert. $5.00/adults, $2.00/children.

At this month’s gathering, we are having a Chanukah Fried Food Cook-Off, so bring your favorite, most scrumptious oil-laden Chanukah side dish or dessert that reminds us of the miracles of Chanukah! Bring your recipes, too, so we’ll all have new yummy choices for our celebrations this December. RSVP to Elaine at 203-336-1858 or [email protected].

Happy Chanukah—first candle is lit evening of Tuesday, December 20.

James Prosnit, D.D. .................................................................... RabbiRachel Gurevitz, Ph.D. .............................................................. RabbiArnold I. Sher, D.D. ................................................... Rabbi EmeritusSheri E. Blum, D.M. ................................................................ CantorRamon Gilbert, D.M. ................................................ Cantor EmeritusIra J. Wise, R.J.E. ............................................. Director of EducationRobert H. Gillette, R.J.E. ....................................... Educator EmeritusElaine Chetrit ...................................... Director of Family EducationAlexa Cohen .............................................. Early Childhood DirectorAbby Rohinsky ..................................................... Director of FacilityMatthew Rosen ............................................................. Youth Advisor

OfficersMark A. Kirsch ..................................................................... PresidentMindy Siegel ........................................................... 1st Vice PresidentShari Nerreau ................................................................ Vice PresidentSamuel Rosenberg ........................................................ Vice PresidentRichard Walden ............................................................ Vice PresidentMichael Blumenthal ............................................................. TreasurerStuart Horowitz ..................................................... Assistant TreasurerJulie Pressman ...................................................................... SecretaryKelly Reznikoff ................................................... Financial SecretaryAmy Rich .................................................... Immediate Past President

Affiliates

Jim Greenberg ................................................. Brotherhood PresidentMolly Blumenthal & Michael Kalmans ........... BIFTY Co-Presidents

2 What’s happening at temple? Get Happenings, our weekly email! Send your request to [email protected]!

Sincere Sympathy We extend our sympathy to the bereaved families of:

Esther Finkelstein, grandmother of Seth FinkelsteinBrian Mitchell Mendell, son of Gary Mendell and Ellyn Stern, brother of Greg MendellJay Alexander, brother of Roberta Pabian

Sharing Our Joy

Congratulations to Irv and Nancy Silverman on the birth of their grandson, Jacob Samuel Silverman, son of Shayna Silverman and Maggie Lerwill, born October 24.

In This Issue

From the Rabbi’s Desk ........................................................................ 3Volunteer Spotlight ............................................................................... 4From Rabbi Gurevitz ............................................................................ 5Young Families Havurah ..................................................................... 6From the Education Center .................................................................. 7Shabbat Services .................................................................................. 7Adult Jewish Learning ........................................................................ 9High Holy Day Appeal ........................................................................ 10From the Early Childhood Center ......................................................... 11

Welcome! Welcome!

A warm welcome to our newest members. We look forward to their participation in our many programs and hope their affiliation will not only enrich their lives, but that of our congregation.

Lee and Stacy Sheiman, Alexa and OwenSprucewood Lane, Westport

David and Hillary Marcus, Sean and KateGovernor Trumbull Way, Trumbull

Rick and Stephanie Horwitz, Dylan, Adam, Riley Elise, and MadelynGlen Ridge Road, Fairfield

Susan Karen LevineGlengary Road, Trumbull

Greg and Tracy Minsky, Jack, Maddie, and SadieMill Plain Road, Fairfield

Richard and Christine Roll, Allison and RebeccaArbor Terrace, Southport

Michael and Farhana Leisawitz, Jacob and SaraAspetuck Lane, Monroe

Shop Talk

Chanukah is just around the corner! Our annual Chanukah Boutique will be held on Sunday, December 18, during Religious School hours, but you don’t have to wait until then to get the best selection of menorahs, candles,

dreidels, nut-free gelt, wrapping paper, host gifts, and toys!! Stop by the shop anytime between 9:30 and 4:30 during the week and on Sunday mornings from 9:30 to noon. If the door is closed, stop by the front office and see Lynn and she will open up the B’nai Israel Gift Boutique for your perusal.

Questions? Contact us at [email protected].

Sylvie and Lisa

3Food of the Month: tuna and mayonnaise

From the Rabbi’s DeskGiving—Part 1

‘Tis the season once again, not only to make the retailers happy, but also to reflect on the spirit of giving. Joy sharing is very Jewish. At happy times it’s especially good to share with individuals in need and organizations that do good. In addition, the end of the year tax incentive creates a timetable as we consider how generous we have

been during the past year and how much more we can do. Tzedakah at any time is important and appropriate, but there are some practical implications around December 31 that might not have shown up on Maimonides’ list of degrees of noble giving (see page 207 of Mishkan T’filah) but do factor into the choices we make.

Obviously we hope that the temple will be in your year-end considerations. The High Holy Days Appeal is wrapping up, there are always encouragements to join with those in the Tzedek Society who go above and beyond enabling temple affiliation as available and affordable to all who seek a spiritual home, and there are scholarship funds that can certainly use replenishment.

But, I don’t want to make this message primarily about the temple’s needs.

I’ve had a couple of interesting conversations recently with folks who prefer to give anonymously. Individuals or couples who have been very generous but wish to keep their gifts private. Noble for certain! In fact, anonymous giving is at the second- and third-highest rung of

Maimonides’ Tzedakah ladder. (Helping someone to find a job or providing self-sustaining means is the highest.) The flip side, however, of being anonymous is that it deprives others of knowing of a giver’s commitment and leadership to a cause. Sometimes when we look at the list of the names of benefactors, we say, “If that person is so generous, maybe I should be as well.” Putting a public face or name on one’s philanthropy inspires others to do good. I’m not suggesting that the anonymous giver is doing something inappropriate (quite the contrary)—I’m just suggesting that there is virtue too in letting others know how generous you are.

During this season there is also something important that parents can do. I’m a big believer in teaching our children (the next generation of givers) that making donations is part of what we do. We tend to write checks or make contributions online when the kids aren’t around. I think we should celebrate our generosity and be certain that our children know what we’re doing. During one night of Chanukah, rather than giving gifts, why not take all the solicitation letters we receive at this time of year and have a family meeting to discuss and teach about the organizations we choose to support? That way our generosity can shine brightly at all times of the year and we can share a powerful lesson about the importance of Tzedakah.

Happy Chanukah!

Rabbi James Prosnit

Caring Community News

Havdalah Social to Share Some TLC—Temple Loving Care Saturday, January 7, 2012, 4:00–6:00 p.m. So many in our congregation extend themselves so that someone else is comforted, helped, and supported. We hope that we can make it even easier for you to offer your helping hands. Nursery school parents, Religious School parents, single members, empty nesters, retirees...we invite

you all to join us for a social meet-up and opportunity for conversation to explore the many ways we can express our commitment to be a sincerely caring community. Please let us know by January 3rd if you can make it. Looking forward to seeing you then!

Liz Nigrosh ([email protected] or 203-268-9044) and Rabbi Rachel Gurevitz

4 Happy Chanukah!!

Spotlight On Our Volunteers!On Sunday mornings, Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and Monday nights, the hallways of our temple are filled with the voices of our congregants’ children. Chitter-chatter, laughter, and singing echo throughout the synagogue. The teachers do a fantastic job of helping the next generation of Jews to become loving, educated Jewish adults. Ira Wise (Director of Education), Cindy Becker (Religious School Committee Chair), and Theresa Silva (Administrative Assistant) each have a handle on the Religious School. It runs smoothly every year and continues to get better. In fact, in the last year or so the Religious School has become quite a community within a community. Do you know why?

Supporting our amazing staff are some amazing parent volunteers. This month’s “Spotlight On Our Volunteers” focuses on Amy Newman and Marla Dankenbrink. These two moms have been Parent Room Coordinators for the past year. As they head into year two, they each explain what they do and how volunteering has shaped their experience at Congregation B’nai Israel into a deeply fulfilling one.

Amy has been a member of B’nai Israel since 2007. Her husband Eric grew up at this temple, so following with the family tradition, they joined with their two children—Jakob, 10, and Rebecca, 8 ½. She is a tech Web site editor for four different sites. Amy works from home, but she is definitely a mom “on the go.” With all her activities with the kids and her different job obligations, you wonder how this busy mom finds any time to help. Amy says, “You don’t need a whole lot of time. You just have to feel comfortable and get to know people.”

Her volunteering started when she was asked to help organize the Book Fair. Her job was to fill in the time shifts. This put her in contact with many parents. Amy was also asked to be part of the Religious School Committee. After serving on the committee for some time, she was asked to chair the Kitah Bet (2nd grade) and Kitah Gimel (3rd grade) Shabbat dinner. This involved contacting the caterer, stocking the paper goods, sending out flyers, and fielding questions from the other parents. Again, she was widening her circle of contacts and meeting more people.

The Shabbat dinner went well, and then Amy was approached by Gayle Szuchman, the Religious School Committee Chair at the time, to be a Room Parent Coordinator for Kitah Bet and Kitah Gimel. This meant that Amy would be the bridge between the Religious School staff and the room parents. Her role in this newly created position was to disseminate pertinent information to the classes via emails or phone calls. This was all in the hopes of keeping things warm and personal. It worked!

Parents got friendlier with each other and began to do things outside of the Religious School. They often organized activities after Sunday Religious School like picnics, bowling, bounce house visits, and even a Chanukah party. Not only did this help our staff communicate with our parents, but a community was also being born. Parents even started helping each other out by carpooling more often to and from Religious School. The kids love the carpools, and the parents are less stressed from all the schlepping.

When I asked Amy how a member can become more engaged in temple activities, she replied, “Go to things. Get involved.” For example, she started going to Mishpacha Shabbat once a month. She suggests that going to activities at the temple helps you get to know people. When you feel comfortable, you can inquire about how you can help.

Marla has been a member of B’nai Israel for a year. But her children Jack, 6 ½, and Sara, 4, had already attended our nursery school before Marla and her husband David decided to become members. When it was time for Jack to go to Religious School, they joined the temple. Then David received a job opportunity and they left the area for a year. They settled in Ontario, Canada, where Marla reached out to the local temple. The rabbi’s wife, who happens to be American, was a member of an organization called The American Women’s Club. Marla decided to participate. Even though they only stayed in Canada for a year, she made wonderful friendships though this club. Marla had a fantastic experience with reaching out—this set the stage for her involvement at B’nai Israel.

It is clear that Marla is a friendly, outgoing person. When her children were in the nursery school, she volunteered for Havdalah services, Chanukah parties, room parent duties, and chairing the Moving On ceremony for Jack (she is now chairing Sara’s Moving On ceremony). When Jack started Religious School, she told Ira, Cindy, and Gail Weinstein (the former Early Childhood Center Director) that she wanted to be involved—so they gave her the position of Room Parent Coordinator for Gan (Kindergarten) and Kitah Alef (1st grade). “If I’m going to join an organization, I want to be more than just a member. It allows me to get to know other members. I enjoy being involved. It gives me a sense of accomplishment.”

Marla has treated all her volunteering as if it were her job. She really wants to help out. “You have to want to be involved. You must show interest.” If other parents decline to help, Marla never presses. Volunteering doesn’t always fit into everyone’s lifestyle. And that is perfectly OK. But if you want to become involved, Marla stresses that you can do as much or as little as your schedule will allow. Her approach to how to volunteer is to go to the temple staff and ask to help. She figures that she’s got nothing to lose and everything to gain.

From all her volunteering, Marla has made a family of friends. She is part of six families in particular who don’t have family close by. Now they all spend the Jewish holidays together. They refer to each other as “our extended adopted family.”

Isn’t it nice that members of B’nai Israel refer to each other as extended family? Thanks to these two ladies for taking the time to help build this sense of community and making our synagogue a friendlier place. Next time you pass by the hallways of our Religious School, listen for the children’s chitter-chatter, their laughter, and their singing. Take a moment and acknowledge all that goes into making that happen!

Laura Lehrhaupt

5

From Rabbi GurevitzWhat makes your home a Jewish home?

Add your name to our new Directory! See the back cover for details.

Back in October, I shared my excitement about Bill Bryson’s latest book, At Home, during a Friday night sermon. The premise of the book is how we can learn so much history from the very ordinary objects in our homes. He writes:

Looking around my house I was startled and somewhat appalled to realize how little I knew about the domestic world around me. Sitting at the kitchen table one afternoon, playing idly with the salt and pepper shakers, it occurred to me that I had absolutely no idea why, out of all the spices in the world, we have such an abiding attachment to those two. Why not pepper and cardamom, say, or salt and cinnamon? And why do forks have four tines and not three or five? There must be reasons for these things… I heard a reference on the radio to someone paying for room and board, and realized that when people talk about room and board, I have no idea what the board is that they are talking about. Suddenly the house seemed a place of mystery to me.

I started to turn the idea in my head, and to think about the Jewish home this way. A few years ago Vanessa Ochs wrote an article in Crosscurrents in which she proposed ways of categorizing the things in a Jewish home in ways that enable us to use them to tell the story and the history of the Jewish people and, more specifically, our personal family history. The first category is “articulate objects.” These are the self-evident items that might tell you that you are in a Jewish home, like a mezuzah on the door, a menorah, a challah cover. The specific ones that we have may tell a personal story, but the objects themselves tell more of the “official” history of Judaism.

The second category she calls “Jewish-signifying objects.” While specific Jewish books might be obvious

signs of a Jewish home, a less obvious but more culturally symbolic sign of a Jewish home might be an overabundance of books everywhere, overfilling shelves and piled up on tables. It is not unique to Jewish families to have photographs of the grandchildren in abundance. However, the university graduation photos of every one of my grandmother’s children and grandchildren all lined up on one wall tells a social history of the first generation of her family to get a college education, and the enormous value that a Jewish parent places on education in general.

The final category involves what Ochs calls “ordinary objects transformed.” These are things that might be found in any household but that in a specific context take on the role of klei kodesh—holy objects that we use for sacred purpose or mitzvot. For example, a phone is just a phone. But a phone used to check in with a member of your community to offer a meal after surgery is a phone used in the act of bikkur holim—visiting the sick. An ornate white tablecloth that is wrapped in plastic and taken out once a year is more than just a nice, white tablecloth. But on the Rosh Hashanah table it is being used for the act of hiddur mitzvah—beautifying the mitzvah of making a festive meal.

I can’t wait to read the rest of Bryson’s book so that I can walk from room to room in my home and tell the stories of our society through the ordinary objects that I see. But it is also great fun, and a great source of Jewish storytelling, for each of us to look around our home for ordinary and everyday things. Give it a go, and I’d love you to email me some of your personal and family Jewish stories about some of the ordinary things in your home at [email protected]. I’ll publish the best ones on my blog at http://shmakoleinu-hearourvoices.blogspot.com.

Rabbi Rachel Gurevitz

6 Happy Chanukah!!

Young Families HavurahI sit at my computer surrounded by scraps of silver fabric, snipped to make my son’s Halloween (and probably Purim) costume. He was a knight, to his great delight. We made a helmet, a tunic with a coat of arms (a Jewish star, of course), and sleeves of armor. But I drew the line at the sword—as a rule, I won’t help make or buy toy weapons. He wasn’t surprised and didn’t complain. Besides, he had a ready solution: a long red stick from our Tinkertoy kit filled in as it usually does for his weapon needs. As a peace-loving mother, part of a family that (like many families) has experienced intimately the horrors of war, my truce with my son’s love of all things violent involves compromise. I don’t buy or allow other people to buy toy weapons for him. I don’t help make toy weapons for him. But I believe that I should not over-interfere in his fantasy world, so long as he is not hurting anyone or himself. So Tinkertoys, Lincoln Logs, branches, and even fish sticks have been used as guns and swords in my house. Thank God my son is not violent in the real world. And I have come to understand that his violent fantasy play is his way of exploring justice, bravery, and righteousness, important values in our world. I have also come to realize that I can’t stop him anyway.

I share this because Chanukah, the Jewish holiday with perhaps the most violent roots, fast approaches. Most basically, Chanukah celebrates the Maccabees’ military victory over the Syrian Greeks. Furthermore, the Maccabees were religious zealots, at times murdering and forcibly circumcising their religious brethren who sought to assimilate into Greek culture. Chanukah also

involves a Jewish civil war between rich, assimilated urban Jews and less affluent, rural Jewish traditionalists. Isaac Mayer Wise, an early leader of American Reform Judaism, suggested in 1865 the elimination of the celebration of Chanukah. While I am glad that Chanukah, a festival of light, has endured to enliven our dreary winters, I agree with Wise that we must be thoughtful about how we celebrate and teach about Chanukah. Wars, even wars as old as dating from the 2nd century BCE, are sometimes necessary but always sad. And military victory, while certainly preferable to defeat, is not child’s play. I like to use Chanukah as an opportunity to discuss how conflict is best resolved and not as an occasion to extol the Maccabees and their extremely violent approach.

Happily, the rabbis were also uncomfortable with the militaristic components of Chanukah, albeit more out of a fear of inflaming interreligious tensions. They preferred to focus on the miracle of the oil instead of the military victory. And in their discussions of Chanukah observance, they provide us with a better model of conflict resolution. The Talmud records many disputes between the schools of Hillel and Shammai on proper religious observance, including a disagreement over whether Jews should light the Chanukah candles in ascending or descending order over the eight nights (Shabbat 21a). The debates between the schools of Hillel and Shammai are famous for their civility. Members of each school would marry women from families who subscribed to the other school. In Eruvin 13b, the Talmud states that both Hillel and Shammai’s words were “from the living God,” a wonderful phrase we should use more often in our religious disagreements. However, Hillel’s opinion usually was upheld, the text states, because his school would teach Shammai’s words before its own, a demonstration of its humility.

In our sometimes dark and violent world, may Chanukah help illuminate a more peaceful approach to conflict resolution for us and for our children. And may my son grow out of his love of swords. Amen.

Rabbi Nicole Wilson-SpiroLike us on Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/youngfamilieshavurah

Grandparents John and Linda Levi and Angelique and Andrew Levi with daughters Isabel and Charlotte pose before a special children’s Ark, assembled with the help of artist Daniela Balzano and the Young Families Havurah. The new Ark made its debut recently at Simchat Torah services. Construction of the Ark was made possible by a gift from the Levi family.


From the Education Center

Tzimtzum—Retreating for a WeekendRabbi Isaac Luria lived in mid-16th-century Tzvat in Israel. He taught that before creating the universe, God needed to make a space to put it. Until then God filled all the space there was. God had to do tzimtzum—he had to pull back part of the divine presence to create the space. From this, we can learn the importance of taking a step back.

This January, our students in Kitah Vav (6th) and Kitah Chet (8th) will do just that when we take each class to Eisner Camp in Great Barrington on retreat. We spend 44 hours away from the world. No phones, no television, and no Internet. Just a group of kids, teachers, and counselors. We celebrate Shabbat, sing a lot, and have fun indoors and out.

The Kitah Vav retreat focuses on what it means to become a Bar or Bat Mitzvah. Through visualization we explore the experience our ancestors had at Mt. Sinai, and the students develop their own personal Ten Commandments. The whole idea is for each student to begin to develop an idea of what it means to be responsible for one’s own Jewish behaviors.

Kitah Chet students explore what it means to be a good Jew. We don’t tell them the answer. Instead, they meet the executor for the estate

of one Morris Goldberg. The terms of his will leave his billions to whichever of his four children is deemed to be the “best Jew.” Kitah Chet students, serving as the temple board, have been requested to sit in judgment of the four adult Goldberg heirs. After meeting them, we spend parts of the weekend exploring what they think goes into making someone a “good Jew.”

We also have a lot of free time for sledding, hiking, and the all-important hanging out. Every fall, Rabbi Prosnit and I ask the Confirmation class several questions about what is for some of them 10 years so far as a Religious School student. The first question is, “What are the most powerful memories—other than becoming Bar/Bat Mitzvah—you can recall from your experience at B’nai Israel?” Participating in the two retreats has been a top-three answer for more than a decade.

If your son or daughter is in Kitah Vav (6th) or Kitah Chet (8th), make sure they are signed up. You can call me at 203-335-0745 if you have any questions. If your children are not there yet, begin getting them ready by telling them about the retreats coming soon.

L’shalom,Ira J. Wise, R.J.E., Director of Education

SHABBAT SERVICE SCHEDULE

Friday, December 2 6:00 p.m. Service

Torah Portion – Vayeitzei Gen. 28:10-32:3Haftarah – Hosea 12:13-14:10

Saturday, December 3 8:00 a.m. Service 9:00 a.m. Brotherhood Breakfast 9:15 a.m. Young Families Havurah 9:30 a.m. Torah Study

Friday, December 96:00 p.m. Service with the B’nai Israel

BandTorah Portion – VayishlachGen. 32:4-36:43Haftarah - Hosea 11:7-12:12

Saturday, December 10 8:00 a.m. Service 9:00 a.m. Brotherhood Breakfast 9:15 a.m. Young Families Havurah 9:30 a.m. Torah Study11:00 a.m. Bar Mitzvah of Joseph

Epstein, son of Robert Epstein and Miriam Kelliher


Torah Portion – VayeishevGen, 37:1-40:23Haftarah – Amos 2:6-3:8(the Junior Choir will sing)



Torah Portion – Mikeitz Gen. 41:1-44:17Haftarah – Zekhariah 4:1-7



Torah Portion – VayigashGen. 44:18-47:27Haftarah – Ezekiel 37:15-28


(Fridays at 6:00 p.m. where indicated, preceded by an Oneg Shabbat at 5:30 p.m.)

There are working mom temple members who bowl for fun. And then there is Monica Fitzgerald. At this year’s European Maccabi Games in Vienna, she bowled 60 games in 5 days, threw her 15-pound ball down the lanes more than 1,000 times, and took home 2 gold medals.

“I’ve been bowling since I was 9. I bowl 3 nights a week,” says Monica, who grew up at B’nai Israel and was Bat Mitzvah’d here as well. She and her husband Terry live in Bridgeport with their daughter, Hannah, age 8.

The European Maccabi Games where Monica successfully competed took place July 5–13. The Maccabi Games seek to enrich the lives of Jews in the United States, Israel, and the rest of the world through athletic, cultural, and educational programs. The Vienna games marked the first time that Jewish athletes from dozens of nations came together as tournament participants in the territory of former Nazi Germany. More than 2,000

Jewish athletes competed in an array of sports including swimming, volleyball, basketball, golf, soccer, table tennis, and—happily for Monica—men’s and women’s 10-pin bowling.

Monica describes herself as a competitive amateur who sometimes enters professional competitions and takes home prize money as well as trophies. The U.S. bowling team competing in Vienna had 5 people, and Monica

was the only woman. She won gold in the women’s singles and in all-events bowling, the combined total for the 4 events, which was 24 games. She also won two bronze medals in trios and team.

“It was really exciting. I was bowling with people from many other countries. There was a lot of camaraderie and trading of bowling equipment. We went to synagogue services together and learned how the Jewish community is progressing in Austria,” Monica says.

Thanks in part to a successful fundraising drive, she was able to compete in Vienna as her parents, daughter, and husband all watched. “My favorite moment was being on the podium in Austria with the “Star-Spangled Banner” playing and an Israeli dignitary presenting a gold medal to me,” she says.

What’s the biggest mistake the average bowler makes?

“I would say over-thinking and worrying about bad games, focusing on the negative rather than focusing on the positive. I’d have a 140 game in Vienna (the highest score is a 300) but then I’d come back and have a 266. We are only human. We have ups and downs,” says Monica.

— Interviewed by Don Hyman

8 Add your name to our new Directory! See the back cover for details.

Temple Member Monica Fitzgerald Takes Home the Gold At the European Maccabi Games in Vienna

9Happy Chanukah!!

Adult Jewish Learning at Congregation B’nai Israel

Adult RoundtableThursday, December 1 at 12:15 p.m.This group holds a discussion about current events for anyone who wants to go deeper than the headlines and enjoys expressing their own opinions and hearing those of others. Facilitated by Gloria Katz and Dorothy Blaustein. Join us the first Thursday of each month—bring a sandwich, your opinion, and an open mind.

Morning Edition with Philip Eliasoph: Jewish Art + Culture + IdeasThursdays, December 1, 8, and 15 at 9:00 a.m.“Identity labels have nothing to do with how one actually experiences life.”

–Philip Roth on American Jewish identityFor those with ongoing questions about the blurry intersection between American culture and Jewish thinking and those big questions—between Maimonides, Milton Berle’s comedy, anti-Semitism in TV’s “Mad Men,” or the latest perplexing exhibit at MoMA—this is an open forum. Required reading: the weekly issue of The Jewish Forward, offering rich insights and opinions into how Jews have been shaped by and continue to contribute to contemporary American culture. We meet in the new Fairfield University Bookstore on the Post Road (formerly Borders). Co-sponsored by the Carl and Dorothy Bennett Center for Judaic Studies at Fairfield University.

Understanding JudaismSunday, December 11, 10:30 a.m.–noon Behind the Bima, Part 1: The What’s and Where’s of B’nai IsraelWhether you’ve been a member of B’nai Israel for 20 years or 2 months, this is an opportunity to go “behind the bima”

(literally and figuratively) to learn about everything that has gone on and does go on in our community. From early childhood to learning for seniors, and everything in between, we’ll explore who does what and where, and how all the functions of a diverse and vibrant congregation fit together.

Parent Learning CircleSunday, December 18, 9:40–10:50 a.m.

Elaine Chetrit, our Family Educator, will lead the conversation in this session, ending in time for parents to attend the Chanukah Music Festival for the whole school. Hebrew instruction will be from 9:40 to 10:00 a.m., and Parent Learning Circle discussion from 10:00 to 10:50 a.m.

Rosh Chodesh Group: Biblical Women Role Models—for Better or for WorseThursday, December 22, 7:30–9:00 p.m.This month, we discuss some of the Biblical women who play a role in the Chanukah story: Hannah and Judith. One was a martyr, and one was a temptress with a sword … and what have cheese and wine got to do with it (we’ll have some of that to go with our study and discussion!)?

Saturday Morning Torah Study: The Book of LeviticusSaturdays at 9:30 a.m. If Genesis is childhood and Exodus is coming of age, then Leviticus is the book that appears smack in the middle—not only of the Torah but metaphorically, in the middle of our lives. It’s about sacrifice, menstruation, food, sex, and the petty little ways that we can be good and decent people. It’s about bodies running down and bodies getting better. It’s not poetry, but it is the messy business of life that really is. It will prove fascinating study.

Every Saturday morning we learn Torah together—some attend 8:00 a.m. services, while others arrive in time for the study group. Some participate every week, and others drop in when they can. Some have solid biblical backgrounds, and others are novices to the study. Some know Hebrew, and most do not. Bottom line: everyone is welcome! Join us for an enriching, enjoyable, and engaging hour of weekly learning of our most sacred text.

10 What’s happening at temple? Get Happenings, our weekly email! Send your request to [email protected]!

High Holy Days Appeal Contributions

Pillars of the CongregationJim and Barbara AbrahamDavid and Judi BeierKen and Wendy BrachfeldLawrence and Ellen DinkesRichard and Joanne KrantzBob and Helen NattJerry and Jane PressmanBrad and Linda RothbaumRichard and Susan WaldenFred and Ronni Zinn

Benefactors of the CongregationKen and Lori BergerBob Ford/Jesse GoldbaumLarry and Robin GreenhallAllan and Claire ShumofskyJeff and Mindy SiegelMarc and Elaine SilvermanJoseph and Leslie VaronKen and Cindy West

President’s CircleJeffrey and Wendy BenderJuda and Elaine ChetritSidney FialkJim and Lisa GreenbergMichael and Joni GreenspanBernie and Janice JacobsLena “Lee” LesterSamuel and Harriet MillerMr. and Mrs. Michael Weisman

General ContributionsAndrew and Gina ArnoldJoel and Sylvia AskinaziLeona Attenberg

Claire BakerBrian and Linda BarlaamNate and Carol BarskyLarry and Audrey BernsteinMarilyn BissellBruce and Laura BravermanDr. and Mrs. Robert ChessinMilton and Lilla CooperJennifer and Henry DelAngeloJoanne and Tim DerwallisBari DworkenMichael and Linda EpsteinDavid and Meade FogelRoy and Aline FriedmanThe Gaugler FamilyMarvin and Joann GelfandEstelle GlassJerry and Selma GoldVladimir and Klara GoldshteynAvrum and Donna GoldsteinHank and Laurel GreenbergEric and Ruth GrossCharles and Carol GurskyElena R. HaladyBennett and Nancy HerschRobert and Paula HerzlingerDon and Wendy HymanJanet JurowAmy KaplanArnold and Bobby KaplanBeryl KaufmanSally KenlerMr. and Mrs. Irving KernAlbert and Alida KlebanLarry and Norci KochmanGeoffrey and Melanie KoorisBarry and Judy Kramer

Edward and Eileen KrasnowJustin and Brenda KreuzerBeth LazarAleksey and Raisa LedvichMuriel LefsetzIlse LeviHarold and Barbara LevineHarvey and Geraldine LevineThe Spitzer-London FamilyDr. and Mrs. Richard LopatinRuth MadwedMuriel MannAllen and Charlene MarxPerry and Melissa MolinoffJoyce MoriberArthur and Ann NishballBarbara NortonJon Orleans and Linda LieflandLouis and Roberta PabianEllen Hyde PhillipsPaul and Trude ReismanBryan Robik and Ronit GlantzPaul and Bernice RoschJudy RudikoffKen and Honey SacksNaomi ShafferAbigail SchineBob and Susan SchraerBob and Sandra ShermanWilliam and Lorraine SmithDerek and Barbara SolomonRhea SpiegelStephen and Ellen TowerMarshall and Myra WatnickGerd and Myrna WeindlingArtie and Suzie WeissmanCarol West

Note: For space reasons, all regular donations received this month will appear in the January Bulletin, along with next month’s contributions. Thank you for your continued support!


From the Early Childhood Center

When this month’s Bulletin goes to press, the Early Childhood Center will be getting ready for its first PJ Havdalah of the school year. The festivities include a yummy dinner for all followed by spice box making and a beautiful service led by Rabbi Rachel, who all the children know

from her weekly visits to the classrooms. After the service the children and parents alike will “rock out” to fun dance party music under the direction of a professional DJ. All this while they are wearing their PJ’s!

To prepare for this wonderful holiday, the children learn the songs and blessings with Cantor Blum so that they can participate in the service. We will even email an MP3 of all the music to the parents a week or so before our celebration so that they can familiarize themselves with the music and play it at home for their children.

Havdalah is the ceremony performed late on Saturday, as the Sabbath ends, that separates Shabbat, the Sabbath, from the rest of the week. It is a multi-sensory experience. We drink wine (taste), and smell sweet spices so that the sweetness of Shabbat can linger into the days that follow; we sing songs (hearing) and watch the light of a braided candle (sight). It is a beautiful way to end Shabbat and prepare ourselves to begin the next week.

Some suggestions on how to celebrate Havdalah at home are below:

Handmade Havdalah candles are the perfect project. This candle is actually a three-wick candle, usually made of separate strands of wax braided together. The candle is burned for a brief time each week, so an individual candle will last for several weeks. If you have never celebrated Havdalah before, explain how this candle will be used as part of the service.

Each child can contribute to the family ritual. As you work on the candle, talk to your child about what makes Shabbat different from the other days. How do we welcome Shabbat, and how do we say goodbye to it? What special things can your family share on Shabbat that they are too busy to enjoy during the week?

Talk about all the ritual objects that make your home a “Jewish” home. Identify, if you have them, the mezuzah on the door or the menorah in the china closet. Ask your

child how he or she would like the Judaica displayed and what other pieces he or she would like to add to the collection. Together, you can set up a shelf or table where special-occasion items can be enjoyed. In anticipation of an approaching holiday, together you can unpack the artwork from years past, reminiscing with your child about how old he or she was when that particular piece was made. It is all a part of your Jewish family history.

***The Craft: A Braided Havdalah Candle This braided Havdalah candle is made from sheets of beeswax, which may be bought individually or as part of a candle-making kit. You can purchase wicks at a craft store or as part of a kit as well. If you put the finished candles in the freezer, they will burn longer.

Materials:sheets of beeswax, different colors

wicks scissors

Cut the beeswax into strips, approximately 8 inches by 2 inches. Cut the wicks into 8- inch pieces. You will need three strips of beeswax and three wicks for each candle.

Put a wick along the edge of the long side of a strip of beeswax so that the extra half-inch of wick extends over the top of the wax. This will be the top of your candle. Fold the wax the long way over the wick so that the wick is “trapped” in the wax. Tightly roll the wax the long way so that you have a long, thin candle. Repeat with the remaining two strips of wax and wicks.

Beeswax becomes more malleable from the heat in your hand. Put the bottoms of the three thin candles together and press the wax with your fingertips until it fuses together. Carefully braid the candles, using light pressure on the wax to repair the cracks that come as you twist the candles together.

Enjoy Havdalah together!

Alexa Cohen, Early Childhood Center Director

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New Directory On the Horizon!

As you are already aware, in response to popular demand and as our fall fundraiser, our committee will be publishing a new temple directory to replace the one that came out more than five years ago. A letter and forms were sent out at the end of October with many options for participation. We’re hoping that in addition to creating a useful resource for our temple community, this will be a wonderful opportunity for everyone to support our congregation.

We encourage members to send in photos of your families along with your submissions. Or you can have your picture taken by fellow congregant Linda Torzsa of Etana Photography, who has graciously donated her services. All proceeds from her services will be going to the temple. You can see some of Linda’s work on her Web site: http://www.etanaphotography.com.

There is still time to get your pictures in or have your pictures taken! If you’d like to arrange a time for a photo session at your home, please email [email protected] and put “DIRECTORY” in the subject line, or call 203-450-1611.

Our committee has already had a wonderful response, but if you are able, we encourage you to become a sponsor of this project at a higher financial level. If you would like further information, please contact Val Bogner at 203-521-0182.

We have contacted many local businesses about advertising in the directory, but we know that many of you also have your own businesses. Please consider advertising your business in the directory. This is a great way to let the temple community know about the businesses run by their fellow congregants.

I’d like to publicly thank my committee members for their continued help: Beth Doris, Ellen Kadden, Jack Kadden, Linda Koski, Laura Lehrhaupt, Michael Moses, Naomi Shaffer, Mindy Siegel, and Linda Torzsa.

Val Bogner, Committee Chair

bulletin december 2011

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